6

"Angel?" Willow asked for the second time. As soon as she'd mentioned Buffy's arrival her friend seemed to turn to stone. He had turned to look in the blonde's direction and stared without blinking. 'Here goes The Buffy and Angel Show all over again,' she thought. "Earth to Angel."

He shook himself out of his reverie and faced his friend again. "Sorry, Will. Did you say something?"

"Just your name about forty times," the redhead exaggerated. "But just like in high school, Buffy enters the room and everything said to you goes in one ear and out the other."

"That's not true," disagreed Angel.

Willow scoffed. "Please, it's so true and you know it. Are you gonna say hi to her or what?"

"Didn't you just ask me that question?"

"And I'm still waiting for an answer."

"And I still don't know."

***

"Here we are, the Sunnydale High gymnasium," Griffin announced. "Couldn't the reunion committee have held it someplace a little more upscale? It smells like old socks in here."

Buffy inwardly groaned, wondering why she'd even bothered bringing her husband along with her. In the back of her mind she knew he'd do nothing but complain until they left. "I don't know, Griffin. Why don't you go back out there and ask Amy Madison."

"Don't give me any ideas."

"Wouldn't dream of it," she muttered under her breath. She glanced around the decorated gym, hoping to see a familiar face or two. It didn't take long for her to find one. "I see Willow. I'm going to go over there and say hi. Are you coming?"

Griffin shook his head. "No thanks." He was aware of Willow's dislike for him and he wasn't in the mood to hear her pretend to be cordial to him. "I think I'll get something to drink."

"Okay." Buffy didn't bother arguing, knowing it would be futile. Willow and Griffin would never get along no matter how hard she tried. And she had spent four years trying.

Swallowing her pride, Buffy walked over to where her former best friend stood talking to a tall, muscular, dark-haired man. She couldn't see his face and wondered who he was. But she could see Willow, and she hadn't changed at all in the nearly six years since they'd last spoken.

"Willow!" Buffy exclaimed when she reached the redhead's side.

Willow smiled in return. "Hi, Buffy. Wow, you look great. Doesn't she look terrific, Angel?"

The dark-haired man turned around and Buffy gasped. It was Angel, her Angel. The past decade had apparently been very good to him; he was even more handsome than she remembered. His brown hair was still styled in his trademark spikes and he had added about twenty or thirty pounds of muscle. One look in his coffee-colored eyes and all of her old feelings for him came crashing down on her.

Angel's face remained expressionless as their eyes locked. "Yes, she does."

"Angel," Buffy whispered. "I can't believe it. H-How are you doing?"

'Dammit!' he swore at himself. 'Act casual. Just because Buffy is even more beautiful than she was ten years ago doesn't change the fact that she broke your heart in a million pieces.' "I am well. How are you?"

"Good. It's great to see you."

Willow could almost feel the air between them crackle with electricity. Without a doubt, she knew whatever spark had been there ten years ago hadn't died over the years.

"Yeah, same here. Look, Xander and Anya just came in so I'm going to say hello. Will, I will catch up with you later." Planting a kiss on his old friend's cheek, Angel walked away without another word to Buffy.

She watched his hasty exit with sadness, knowing without a doubt she had been the reason for it. "He still hates me for not saying yes," she surmised.

"He doesn't hate you," Willow disagreed. "Hurt, maybe."

"I was too young for marriage, Willow. God, I was eighteen at the time, what did I know about being a wife? I barely knew what I was doing at twenty-two when I married Griffin. I wish Angel understood that."

"Here's an idea. Tell him," Willow suggested.

***

Buffy glanced at her husband, who was fidgeting his hands out of either nervousness or boredom. "You're bored, aren't you?" she asked.

He shrugged his shoulders. "A little, I suppose. I could really go for a cigarette right about now."

"Go ahead."

"You hate it when I smoke," he reminded her.

"You're right, I do. But if it'll get you out of this chair and keep you from fidgeting, do it. I'm sure there are plenty of bored husbands and wives outside for you to bond with."

Griffin patted Buffy's knee. "Thank you. I'll be back in five minutes."

"Take your time."

She watched as her husband left the crowded gymnasium. 'Now is my chance to talk to Angel.' With Griffin keeping an eagle eye on her, Buffy hadn't had an opportunity to clear things up with her ex. She knew Angel deserved an explanation, something he hadn't stuck around long enough to find out ten years earlier.

Searching the room, she found him conversing with Larry Munson, an old adversary of his. "Angel, can I talk to you?" she asked, interrupting his conversation.

"Buffy Summers," Larry began. "Aren't you a sight for sore eyes. Looking as beautiful as ever."

She gave him a dirty look. Even in high school Buffy hadn't liked Larry. He'd relentlessly pursued her, going so far as to beat Angel up when he learned Buffy would be attending the Homecoming Dance with him freshman year. Although if it hadn't been for Larry, she and Angel might never have started dating.

"Always a pleasure to see you too, Larry," she replied sarcastically. "Angel, please."

He relented. "All right."

Buffy led him to the dance floor, where they could talk privately and not have to worry about someone trying to listen in on their conversation. As luck would have it, a slow song began playing and Buffy wrapped her arms around him. 'Feels like old times,' she said to herself.

//It all came so easy, all the loving you gave me
The feelings we shared
And I still can remember how you touched me so tender, it showed me you cared
We had a once in a lifetime
But I just couldn't see it until it was gone
A second once in a lifetime may be too much to ask
But I swear from now on\\

"What did you want to talk about?" Angel asked.

"We've been here for three hours and you haven't said more than five words to me. I want to know why."

Angel frowned at her words. "I'm sorry, Buffy. I wasn't aware that I was supposed to fall at your feet when you walked in the door."

"What?" she said, incredulously.

"If you expected me to still be pining away for you, you're dead wrong, *Mrs. Montgomery*."

She didn't say anything right away. His words cut her deeply, making her realize her initial thoughts from earlier in the evening had been true.

//If ever you're in my arms again
This time I'll love you much better
If ever you're in my arms again
This time I'll love you forever
This time will never end \\

"I get it. You hate me," she said to him.

"Hate you?" Angel raised his eyebrows. What Buffy said surprised him. "No, no that couldn't be further from the truth."

Now it was Buffy's turn to be surprised. "You don't? But I thought…after what I did to you after graduation…"

"I never hated you for it."

"But you left three days after it happened," she reminded him. "You took off without a word to me."

He nodded his head. "I did. It wasn't because I hated you, it was because I felt hurt. And I knew seeing you everyday wouldn't help me heal. That's why I took off. I had to get away. Away from you and away from Sunnydale."

"I never knew. All this time….Angel, I'm sorry I never got to explain to you why I did it. You deserve a reason."

//Now I'm seeing clearly how I still need you near me
I still love you so
There's something between us that won't ever leave us
There's nowhere to go
We had a once in a lifetime
But I just didn't know it 'til my life fell apart
A second once in a lifetime isn't too much to ask
'Cause I swear from the heart\\

"I think I do deserve one," Angel agreed.

Entering the gymnasium after his cigarette, Griffin caught sight of his wife dancing with a tall, handsome man. When they turned around, he fumed upon recognizing her dance partner. It was Angel. Buffy - his wife - was slow-dancing with her ex-boyfriend. Griffin knew how much his wife had loved the man, and it didn't escape his attention that she still cared a great deal about him.

With anger boiling in his blood, his stormed over to the dancing couple. He grabbed Buffy's arm and dragged her out of Angel's embrace. "Let's go."

"Griffin, what are you doing?" Buffy demanded as he yanked her out into the hallway.

"We're leaving. And then we're gonna talk."

Buffy wriggled herself from his grasp. "I'm not going anywhere with you until you tell me what's going on."

"Fine. We'll talk outside."

***

7

Angel stared helplessly as Griffin dragged Buffy out of the building. He couldn't for the life of him understand why he did such a thing. All they were doing was dancing and making polite conversation. Where was the fault in that?

He felt someone tapping his shoulder. When he turned, he saw it was Willow. "Angel, what's going on?" she wanted to know. "Why did Griffin grab Buffy like that?"

"I have no idea. But you can bet I'm going to find out," Angel replied. Ignoring the interested gazes in his direction, he followed Buffy and Griffin to the parking lot.

***

"Let. Go. Of. Me," Buffy demanded, pronouncing each word as if it were a new sentence.

Her husband did as she requested, dropping her arm from his grasp once they reached the parking lot. "You have an awful lot of explaining to do, Buffy."

She gaped at him. "*I* do? Excuse me, but who dragged who out of the school against their will? What the hell is going on with you?"

"You know exactly what's going on, don't play coy with me. The innocent, dumb blonde look never looked good on you. Tell me, is that the reason you told me to go out for a cigarette? So you could throw yourself at your ex?" Griffin shouted.

"What are you talking about?"

"I can't believe you would do this to me after all these years."

Buffy looked deep into his eyes. No longer were they the cerulean blue she loved, but a dark blue that bordered on black. She could tell he was doing his best to hold in his anger, though it wouldn't be long before he burst. She deduced that he was jealous of Angel, and his jealous side was one Buffy never did like.

Unbeknownst to either of them, Angel exited the school and listened to their confrontation from the shadows.

"Griffin, let me explain. You've got it all wrong." She needed to convince her husband that Angel was no threat to him.

"I know what I saw," he stated. "And I saw my wife dancing with another man. On top of that, you looked like quite comfortable in his arms. How do you plan to explain that to me?"

Buffy took a deep breath in preparation. She also did it to keep her tears inside; the last thing she wanted was for Griffin to see her cry. "I love you. I married *you,* not him. Doesn't that tell you something?"

"Yeah, it does. It tells me you decided to take a little trip down memory lane with your precious ex. Tell me, Buffy, is it me you see when you fall asleep every night, or is it him?" demanded her enraged husband.

"That isn't fair."

"Neither is walking into a crowded room to find my wife in a cozy embrace with her high school sweetheart."

"Angel and I were talking. That's all," Buffy explained.

"About what? How much you miss him? Or how much he still cares for you? Anyone with halfway decent eyesight can see how much he's still in love with you."

She shook her head. "No. I wanted him to understand why…why I said no when he asked me to marry him all those years ago."

"You could have written him a letter or sent him an email. You had to press your body against him to get the point across? Or were you trying to entice him back to your bed?" he accused.

Buffy was outraged at the things her husband accused her of. "How can you say those things about me, Griffin? I never slept with him, you know that. We've been married for almost six years and have I ever given you any reason not to trust me?"

"You are not the woman I married. You're a whore."

From his place in the shadows, Angel watched in horror as Griffin Montgomery lifted his right hand and slapped Buffy so hard that her head snapped to the side from the sheer force of it. 'That bastard!' he swore, taking several steps toward the couple. But he stopped in his tracks when he saw Buffy strike her husband in return.

"Don't you ever slap me again!" she shouted. "You are blowing things way out of proportion. Whatever it is you think you saw you're mistaken. My dance with Angel was completely innocent. You are not thinking rationally, Griffin."

"I know what I saw," Griffin growled. "So of course you'd deny it. Get in the car, we're leaving."

"No. I'm not going anywhere with you. Especially not when you're like this," she refused. "Forget it."

"I'm not telling you again."

"Then don't. Just go."

Griffin grabbed her hand and yanked her the few remaining feet to the car. Buffy pulled her hand away. "Buffy…" he began.

"Keep your hands off of me," she warned.

"Fine!" he fumed. "Have it your way then. If you're not inside that car in the next thirty seconds I will leave without you. And don't think I won't leave you here. Because I will."

Buffy clenched her jaw. She was sick of letting her husband have his way all the time. If he expected her to back down he'd be sorely disappointed. "I don't doubt you will. Go ahead and leave me. I'll find my own way home."

"Where will you stay? With your ex?" he shot back.

"I'm a whore, remember? Why do you care?"

"I don't."

Griffin climbed into their rented car, started the engine and took off without a backwards glance at his wife. He was tired of her stubbornness and wanted desperately to teach her a lesson. Thanks to his influence she did not have many friends left in Sunnydale who'd be willing to take her in.

No sooner was he out of sight's distance when Angel reached Buffy's side. He couldn't see her face but could see she was trembling. "Are you okay?" Angel asked, placing his hand on her shoulder.

She slowly turned around, face-to-face with a concerned Angel. One look in his soft brown eyes and Buffy melted. She let herself fall into his arms and cry.

"Shh…" Angel comforted. "It'll be okay."

"H-He left me h-here," Buffy sobbed into his shoulder.

He ran his hand up and down her back soothingly. "I know he did, and he shouldn't have. Your husband was wrong, nothing happened between us during that dance we shared. You and I know that but apparently he doesn't."

"You heard us?"

"I think half the people at the reunion did. Do you want to go back inside after you calm down a bit?" he asked her.

She shook her head, sniffling. "No. I can't go back in there, Angel. I'm too embarrassed about what happened with Griffin."

"Well, what are you going to do? Just stay out here all night?"

Buffy shrugged her shoulders. "Maybe. I don't know. I don't have anywhere *to* go. Griffin will be at the hotel and he's the last person I want to see at the moment. He hurt me so much when he said those things to me."

"I can imagine. Look, I don't want to sound presumptuous or anything, but if you want to you can stay at my place. I have an extra bedroom you can sleep in tonight. Or for however long you need," he offered.

"You'd actually let me stay with you?"

"Sure. It'll give us a chance to talk about things."

She smiled through her tears. "All right then. Lead the way."

***

8

Buffy couldn't believe her eyes when she and Angel pulled up to his house. It wasn't a house, it was a mansion; the very same mansion he had proposed to her at. "Oh my lord. You actually live here?"

"Yep. I moved in about two-and-a-half years ago," Angel informed her.

"How did you manage to afford it? The place must have cost you an arm and a leg, unless they're paying you teachers better than I thought," she commented.

Angel shook his head, stepping out of the car, making his way around to the other side to escort Buffy out. "Not really. Believe it or not, I got it for a steal. The owner was so willing to get it off his hands that I made him an offer he couldn't refuse."

"So you did it. You told me you'd live here one day and here you are."

"I didn't do it all, though. I'm missing the wife and family part of my fantasy," he admitted, unlocking the door and holding it open for Buffy to enter.

"I'm surprised you haven't married yet."

Angel shut the door behind them, dropping his suit coat on one of the kitchen chairs. "Doesn't shock me," he mumbled. But he wanted desperately to change the subject. "Are you hungry? Or thirsty?"

"No thanks. I'm fine."

"Okay. Um…if you want, I can show you where the spare room is."

Buffy nodded her head. "I'd like that." As they were heading down the hall, she touched his arm. "Angel, in case I forget to tell you later, thank you."

"You're welcome."

He showed her the spare room he had prepared for when his niece and nephew stayed over. It was a large, airy bedroom with a wooden canopy bed and a beautiful view of the lights of Sunnydale. Buffy stepped inside with her mouth agape, looking around with glee in her green eyes.

Angel noticed the expression on her face. "I take it you like this room."

"I do. Tell me, do you always have a room ready in case a homeless ex needs a place to stay?" Buffy teased.

"Not exactly. I had this room set up for Emily and Steven when they visit."

"Emily and Steven?" she questioned. 'Who are they? Does Angel have children? Could it even be possible?'

He laughed, recognizing the look of surprise in her eyes and deducing what thoughts were going through her mind. "They are Lexie and her husband's children. Emily is eight and Steven is five. They live in Portland, so I don't get to see them very often but when they do come down to visit, the kids like to stay here. Emily, who is my goddaughter, thinks this place is creepy."

"She's right. When I was her age this place would have freaked me out as well. I'm twenty-eight and it is still creepy." She paused. "Maybe not so much now that you're living here."

Buffy had chosen her words carefully, very aware that under different circumstances it could be her home as well. She remembered how frightened she used to be just passing by the gothic-looking mansion. But being there with Angel at that moment, Buffy was no longer afraid of the old mansion. It felt like…like she was home.

"I know what you mean. But it still scares away solicitors."

She smirked. "I'll bet. Do you mind if I take a shower? I'd kinda like to get out of these clothes."

"Sure. The bathroom is right across the hall and there are nightgowns in the closet. I'll leave a couple of towels in there for you to dry off with. Then when you're done we can talk about what happened tonight at the reunion," Angel suggested.

"All right. I'll see you in a couple minutes."

***

Twenty minutes later Buffy emerged from the bathroom clad in a silky white nightgown she'd found in the closet. It fell loosely to the floor, the owner of it obviously had more of a curvaceous figure than she did. Buffy had laughed upon seeing her reflection in the mirror, thinking about the amount of plastic surgery she'd need to fill it out properly. Remembering what Alexis Brennan looked like, she doubted it belonged to her. No, it had to be one of Angel's ex-girlfriend's nightgowns.

No sooner had she entered the hallway when she was assaulted by Angel's dog. The black Lab stood on its hind legs, her front paws on Buffy's stomach and panting heavily. She immediately recognized the canine. "Is that you, Brandy?" Buffy asked. The dog barked in response.

From the living room, Angel sighed. His dog had always loved Buffy, and ten years later she hadn't forgotten the beautiful blonde. "Come here, girl! Leave Buffy alone."

Heeding her master's call, Brandy trotted back to the living room. Buffy followed, finding Angel seated on the couch still dressed in his shirt, tie and dress pants. Back in high school he hated dressing up. 'I guess things really do change,' she thought. "I can't believe you still have Brandy."

"I love this little dog," Angel told her, patting the Brandy on the head as she got settled at his feet. "And it looks like she hasn't forgotten you."

Buffy blushed, sitting down next to him. "It's nice to know someone hasn't."

He knew what she was insinuating but let the comment slide. "Feeling better now that you've showered?"

"Much better."

"I'm glad. Are you feeling ready to talk about what went down between you and your husband tonight?" he wanted to know.

"Griffin lost his temper. Simple as that," Buffy answered.

"Call it a hunch, Buffy, but I don't think it's as simple as that. I heard what he called you and I saw him hit you. I know you, or at least I used to. And the Buffy I know and love would never allow herself to be treated like that by anyone. Least of all a man who claims to love her."

'"The Buffy I know and love"? What did he mean by that? Does Angel still love me after all this time?' she wondered to herself. "Look, this was the first time Griffin ever hit me, and it will be the last. He doesn't usually act like that, but tonight…"

Angel nodded his head in understanding. "He sort of lost it when he caught you and I dancing together," he deduced. "So your husband slapped you and called you a whore because he was jealous of me?"

"It's more complicated than that."

"Then simplify it for me."

She looked down at her hands, embarrassed by what she was about to reveal to her ex-boyfriend. "I don't want to say that Griffin's possessive, because he usually isn't. It's just that he knows our history and what you mean to me. And he doesn't understand it. He never had with someone else what you and I shared. When he saw us together he jumped to the wrong conclusion."

"I don't believe it! You're defending the way he treated you, making excuses for him. Since when did you become a Stepford wife?"

"You don't know what my married life is like. You have no idea the sacrifices I've had to make, the hell I have been through and the hard decisions I had to make all by myself." Buffy paused, letting her words sink in. "Oh god, I gave up everything for him. I changed my entire life's course to make Griffin happy, and he didn't do a damned thing for me."

He watched her closely as she had her revelation. It was as if a light went on inside her head, and everything that had happened throughout her marriage had a different meaning. "Buffy? What's going on?"

"I cannot believe I didn't see it before. I gave up practically everything I ever wanted and everything I had when I married him. My friends, my family…they're all gone. Griffin completely separated me from them when we moved to Kansas."

"I'm sorry."

Buffy gazed at him. "Why? It's not your fault I married him and gave up everything to be with him, to make him happy. Is it your fault Griffin doesn't want to have children? No."

"He doesn't want to have children with you?" Angel couldn't imagine not wanting to have babies with her.

She shook her head, feeling tears stinging her eyes. "Nope. He doesn't like kids. Being a mother is all I ever wanted to be. And he has taken that away from me." Finally, the dam burst and Buffy let her tears fall down her cheeks.

Taking her in his arms as he had earlier that evening, Angel let her cry. "Just let it all out, Buffy. Cry if that's what you need to do."

"It isn't what I thought it would be like," she sobbed. "Sometimes I feel like a prisoner in my own home. I had to fight with him to work after the wedding, and he gets angry if I don't have dinner ready when he gets home from work every night. You know, I thought marriage was always a two-way street. Then why is it I feel like I'm driving in the wrong direction all the time?"

"It sounds to me like Griffin wanted a slave more than a wife," Angel noted. "But that's just my personal opinion."

Buffy lifted her head and made eye contact with him. "Tell me what it would have been like if we'd actually gotten married."

"Buffy-"

"Don't say it; don't say what I know you're gonna say. You have to understand that I was too young to be someone's wife back then. Hell, I was too young when I married Griffin. But I didn't say no to you because I wasn't in love with you; I'd loved you since I was fourteen. And those feelings haven't gone away. All I'm asking you to do is tell me where we'd be right now if I had said yes."

He thought about how he imagined them had they married, as if all the fantasies he'd had came true. "The wedding would have been after we graduated from college, when we both felt ready. By now we'd have a child; a little girl who looks just like you. I would be teaching Math at Sunnydale High like I do now and you'd be home with our daughter, writing that book you always told you were going to write. Of course, we would be living here and every Saturday night we'd have Xander and Anya over, and Willow and her companion would come visit once a month."

Gently, Angel pressed his right hand to her cheek. "And not a night would go by where I didn't tell you or show you how much I love you."

With their eyes locked on one another, their faces moved closer and closer until their lips met in a soft, sweet kiss. Angel ignored the voice in his head that reminded him Buffy was a married woman. At that particular point in time he didn't care. All that mattered was that the woman he'd loved for half of his life was in his arms again. For Buffy, any thoughts of Griffin or her unhappy marriage settled in the back of her mind. All she could think of was how wonderful it felt to be in Angel's loving embrace once again. With him - and only him - she was alive.

The kiss deepened with need and a desire to go where they had never gone before. Lost in a hazy sea of lust, Buffy scooted herself onto Angel's lap, immediately straddling him. He took the opportunity to run his left hand down her back to where the nightgown had bunched at her knees. Sliding his hand inside, the garment rose higher and higher as he traveled upward. He half-expected Buffy to tell him to stop but she never did.

Feeling Angel's other hand slip inside her gown to roam across her skin, Buffy moaned at the contact. It had been far too long since she'd been touched like that by anyone. An the sensations that coursed through her body could only be associated with Angel. She knew what was going to happen between them, and the last thing on her mind was stopping it. Not when they had waited so long for the moment to arrive.

As his hands caressed her skin, Buffy decided it was time to take matters into her own hands. She reached her hands around his waist to untuck his shirt. Breaking their passionate kiss, she undid his tie and threw it to the floor. It landed on Brandy, who jumped up from her spot at Angel's feet and moved across the room, out of the way of airborne objects. Staring deep into his brown eyes she silently told him how much she wanted it; that what they were doing wasn't a game that would go unfinished.

Slowly, she began to unbutton his shirt, all the while feeling Angel's heart pound as she touched his chest. His hands slid back down her body, slipping into her underwear to cup her firm bottom. Finishing her work on his shirt, Buffy pushed it off his shoulders and down his arms, somewhat disappointed that he had to remove his hands from her in order to get the shirt off. But no sooner was the garment off when he replaced them.

Rather than return his lips to hers, Angel kissed her neck and shoulder, leaving a trail of gentle kisses from her jawline to the collar of her nightgown. Buffy could not do much more than hold on to him as she felt herself being swept away with desire.

She closed her eyes and let her head fall back. "I love you, Angel," she moaned.

Angel stopped what he was doing and looked at her. "What?" He wasn't sure if he'd heard her correctly.

"I said I love you," Buffy repeated.

"Do you mean that?"

Nodding her head, she smiled. "I mean it. Angel, I love you. I never stopped."

Angel wanted to burst with happiness. "Neither did I. You are the only woman I ever loved, Buffy."

"Tell me again. I need to hear you say it," she pleaded.

He placed his hands on either side of her face, forcing her to look him in the eyes. "I love you, Buffy Summers."

Rather than wait for her to reply, Angel lifted himself from the couch, taking her with him. She wrapped her long legs around his waist as he carried her down the hallway to his bedroom. Brandy trailed behind them, whimpering when the door was closed before she could enter. The dog cried, slumping to the floor in disappointment; she always slept in the same room as her owner.

***

9

//"Do you, Buffy Anne Summers, take this man Griffin Michael Montgomery to be your lawfully wedded husband? To have and to hold from this day forward, to honor and cherish until death do you part?" the priest asked.

Buffy smiled at the man standing in front of her. But the face she saw wasn't that of the man whose marriage proposal she'd accepted. "I do."

"And do you, Griffin Michael Montgomery, take this woman Buffy Anne Summers to be your lawfully wedded wife? To have and to hold from this day forward, to honor and cherish until death do you part?"

"I do," Griffin replied without hesitation.

"Then by the power vested in me by the state of California, I now pronounce you husband and wife. You may kiss your bride."\\

Moonlight streamed through the bedroom window, blanketing the red fabric of the bedspread. Buffy opened her eyes after her dream ended, finding herself in Angel's warm, comforting embrace. She felt safe there, as if nothing could harm her while she lay in his arms. And she never wanted to leave them.

The only problem was, she knew she'd have to eventually. She couldn't hide in Sunnydale forever, protected by Angel's imposing home and warm bed. Buffy would have to face her husband at some point. It was something she dreaded more than anything. But the longer she remained in Sunnydale, the harder it would be to return to Kansas.

With a sigh and a heavy heart, Buffy quietly crawled out of bed and padded naked to the bedroom door. Silent as a mouse she opened it and headed for the spare room where she'd left her dress and shoes after her shower. In less than five minutes she dressed herself and wrote Angel a note explaining her disappearance. When she was done, she let herself out, promising to return.

***

The balding man standing behind the ticket counter of the Sunnydale Bus Depot smirked as the petite blonde walked up to him. "How can I help you, miss?" he asked.

She handed him her credit card. "I need a one-way ticket to Wichita, Kansas."

***

Angel awoke with a grin plastered on his face. The night before was one he'd been fantasizing about for the better part of fourteen years. No other woman he'd been with could have compared to Buffy; she'd been the perfection she knew she'd be. And from that moment on, Angel decided there would never be anyone else for him except Buffy Summers.

He rolled over, expecting to find her fast asleep next to him. But what he found shocked and dismayed him - a cold pillow. 'What the hell is going on?' he asked himself as he opened his eyes.

The bed was empty; the room was empty save for Brandy asleep at the foot of the bed. Looking closer, Angel saw no trace of Buffy ever having been there. His pants were on the floor and he wore nothing beneath the sheets, but that didn't mean anything as he often slept without clothing during the hot, humid summer nights. When Angel climbed out of bed, he deduced that his lovemaking with Buffy had been nothing short of a dream.

"Morning, Brandy," he groggily greeted his dog. "You wouldn't believe the dream I had last night."

After putting on his boxer shorts, Angel shuffled into the kitchen for his morning cup of coffee. On a typical morning he couldn't function without it, and he especially needed it right then. His sleep had been restful, but he couldn't get the images of himself and Buffy out of his mind. He chalked it up to having seen her the previous night.

"Why am I torturing myself like this? Buffy is a married woman. Maybe not a *happily* married woman, but she still has a ring on her left hand. There is absolutely no chance of a future with her. Last night proved it. It's time to get over her once and for all."

Still half-asleep, he opened the refrigerator door to grab a carton of orange juice. It was when he closed it that he saw the note taped to the door. His eyes widened as he read it over.

ANGEL,

I'M SURE YOU ARE WONDERING WHAT HAPPENED TO ME THIS MORNING, WHY I DIDN'T STAY THE NIGHT. IT WAS NOT BECAUSE OF YOU, BELIEVE ME. I LOVE YOU MORE AT THIS MOMENT THAN I DID DURING THE FOUR YEARS WE WERE TOGETHER. AND IF YOU WANT IT, TOO, THEN I WANT TO SPEND THE REST OF MY LIFE BY YOUR SIDE. THAT IS WHY I LEFT. TO MAKE THAT A REALITY.

I KNEW THAT IF I WOKE UP NEXT TO YOU AND REALLY HAD A CHANCE TO TALK TO YOU, THEN IT WOULD BE NEXT TO IMPOSSIBLE TO LEAVE. IT'S SOMETHING I NEED TO DO, SOMETHING I HAVE TO FACE ON MY OWN. YOU'D WANT TO GO BACK TO KANSAS WITH ME, DON'T DENY IT, ANGEL. IT'S TIME I STARTED FIGHTING MY OWN BATTLES.

IT ISN'T AN EMPTY PROMISE WHEN I SAY I'LL BE BACK, YOU HAVE MY WORD THAT I WILL RETURN. AND WHEN I DO, WE'LL BE FREE TO BE TOGETHER, JUST THE WAY WE WERE MEANT TO BE.

I'LL CALL YOU WHEN I GET THERE.

ALL MY LOVE,
BUFFY

"It wasn't a dream," Angel said. "We will finally be together. All I have to do is wait. And this time I won't screw things up."

***

10

Late Sunday night the cab pulled up to the Montgomery's home and Buffy stepped, wearing a frown on her face. She'd spent the better half of eighteen hours trying to figure out what to say to Griffin when she saw him. It wasn't going to be easy, but knowing that Angel would be waiting for her back in Sunnydale made it less difficult to deal with.

Griffin jumped up from the living room couch upon hearing the back door open. He breathed a sigh of relief when he saw his wife walk into the kitchen. "Buffy, oh my god. I was so worried about you."

"Why?" she asked with a razor-sharp edge to her voice. "You left me in Sunnydale. By choice, I might add."

He put his arms around her, ignoring Buffy's biting tone. "You have no idea how sorry I am about that. I don't know what got into me."

Buffy condescendingly raised her eyebrows. "I know what got into you. Your insane jealously, that's what. And I am not going to take it anymore."

"It'll never happen again."

"Damn straight it won't. Griffin, I want a-"

Pulling back, he gazed into her cold eyes. "You're upset with me, I understand that. And you have every right to be. Nothing I say can make up for what I did, but I can tell you how much I love you. My only explanation is that I'm so afraid of losing you, and the thought if it tears me up inside. I can't live my life without you in it. Buffy, I didn't sleep all last night because I was so worried about you. I thought something might have happened to you out there."

"Well, when you leave your wife all alone fifteen hundred miles away with no place to stay…"

"I was a fool, an ass, a jerk-"

"Fucking asshole sums it up, I think," Buffy stated.

Griffin nodded. "You're right; you'll hear no argument from me. There's no way I can make it up to you. I said things that weren't true. God, I cannot believe I accused you of cheating on me. I know you would never do that to me, I don't even know why I said it."

"I know why."

"Because of Angel. Look, I know your history with him, and to walk into that school last night and see you dancing with him drove me crazy. I owe both you and him an enormous apology," Griffin said.

She walked past him and towards their bedroom. "I don't want one."

Griffin followed her, determined to make up for his behavior the night before. He didn't care how much he had to grovel. "I know you are angry with me, and you have every right to be."

"Angry? You think I'm *angry*? That's the understatement of the century. I don't even know who you are anymore, Griffin. The man I married would never have hit me."

"I'm sorry," he apologized.

Buffy whirled around, shooting daggers at him. "I am so sick of hearing you say that over and over again. Apologizing isn't going to change what you did to me."

"What else do you want me to say?"

She paused. Buffy wasn't sure what she wanted to hear from her husband. But an apology was the last thing she wanted. "I don't know, I honestly don't. All I know is that I can't live like this. I *won't* live like this anymore."

"You don't have to. Last night was a one-time thing; it won't happen again, I swear. Do you remember our wedding vows, Buffy?" he asked hopefully. "We promised to love and honor each other until death do us part. We can't let one little mistake screw up almost ten years of happiness."

'Love and honor, yeah I remember it. Oh god, I slept with Angel. I cheated on my husband, the one man who never walked away from me. The man who has loved me unconditionally for the past ten years,' Buffy thought. "I remember," she practically whispered.

Griffin closed the gap between them. It didn't escape his attention that she was wavering in her decision to leave him; he wasn't stupid, he knew that's what she had planned on doing. And he planned on taking advantage of her uncertainty. "We all make mistakes, love. I made the biggest of my life last night. Do you really want to throw away the last ten years because of something so trivial?"

"About last night…" she began.

"No. How about we forget last night even existed. We never went to Sunnydale, never went to the reunion, I never saw you dancing with your ex and I never behaved like the biggest ass on the planet. Agreed?"

'I have to tell him. Griffin has a right to know what I did last night.' "Look, last night I-"

He interrupted her with a kiss. "Never happened. We start fresh from this moment on."

"Start fresh?"

"A clean slate."

'He's my husband. I owe it to him to try to make things right. Maybe last night with Angel was a fluke, a one-time deal. Maybe he didn't mean those words he said to me. Griffin is committed to making our marriage work, I have to give it a chance, too. He doesn't have to know I slept with Angel.' "Okay. I can forget about last night."

Griffin grinned with exuberance. "Great! Now I'm going to show you what I had planned for us before everything got all messed up."

***

Buffy sat in her office the following afternoon, unable to concentrate on the article she was writing for her weekly column. She always wrote about her life experiences and how they changed her outlook on the world, but the only thing she could think of was Angel. And she knew she couldn't write about what happened between them on Saturday night.

After she and Griffin made up the night before, they'd made love, though her heart wasn't in it. Griffin had been the way Angel was on Saturday night - soft, gentle, loving and passionate all at once. But inside herself, Buffy knew it wasn't the same. Whenever she'd gazed up on her husband it wasn't him she saw. She imagined he was Angel, and it tormented her.

'How do I tell him? I love him but I can't be with him, I'm a married woman. I owe it to my husband to give our marriage a second chance. But I don't want to hurt Angel in the process,' Buffy said to herself. She couldn't believe the mess she'd gotten herself into.

Glancing at the clock on her desk, she saw it that it was only a little past noon in California and that Angel would be awake by now. She took a deep breath and dialed the eleven digits she'd written down early Sunday morning before she left Sunnydale.

The phone picked up on the third ring. "Hello?" Angel answered.

Buffy tried to speak but the words wouldn't form in her throat. Just hearing his voice sent shivers up her spine and caused her heart to race.

"Hello?" he asked again. "Is anyone there?"

She hung the receiver up, unable to utter a single word to the man on the other end of the line. Hearing his voice tore her up inside; she couldn't tell him over the phone. Instead, she picked up her pen and began to write.

Go to Part 11