SUMMARY: Angel's human, he and Buffy meet and become friends.
RATING: PG-13
DISCLAIMER: I don't own them. Don't sue.
FEEDBACK: It's essential.
AUTHOR'S NOTES: This takes place at the beginning of Season 3. No major spoilers. Except that Oz isn't a werewolf and Xander and Cordelia never dated.

1

"Are you coming to the Bronze tonight?" Willow asked.

Buffy looked up from her lunch. "Huh?"

"The Bronze. You promised you'd come with us. Are you still going to?"

"I don't know. Giles wants me on extra patrol 'cause it's been so active out lately. Lots of undead creepy-crawlies milling around."

"Oh come on! You have to come. Oz's cousin just moved back here and I'd feel so bad if he's the third wheel. If you come, you two could keep each other company while Oz and I dance."

Buffy laughed. "You're not making a very good case for yourself there, Will."

"Who knows, maybe you two will hit it off," Willow said with a hopeful, raised eyebrow.

"Don't get your hopes up. I'm done with dating. But I'll stop by after patrol and meet him if you are so insistent," relented Buffy.

Willow got up to give her best friend a hug. "Thank you so much! You two are going to get along so well."

"Anything I should know about him before we meet? Any facial disfigurations? Personality traits that might make me want to stake him?"

"I don't know too much about him. He went to Sunnydale High, graduated in 1996, went away to college on a football scholarship, and now he's back. I didn't know him when he lived here," her friend replied.

Buffy shrugged. "So this is sort of like a blind date?"

"Kinda. Oz said he was really popular when he went here. But that was before you moved to Sunnydale."

"Does he have a name?" Buffy wanted to know.

"I can't remember it."

"You're so helpful, Will. Although I am sort of intrigued by this nameless, faceless popular cousin of Oz's."

Willow's face brightened up. "So you'll definitely be there?"

"Yep. Count me in as the fourth wheel. I'll just do a quick sweep and meet you guys. What time?"

"Sevenish?"

"Ooh, that's bad. How about eight? Save me a seat," Buffy said.

"Right next to him."

Buffy shook her head. "Will…"

"What?" she asked innocently.

"I told you not to expect too much."

"You never know, Buffy. Don't say no right away."

"Doubtful."

********

Buffy sat on the carousel in Weatherly Park, bored out of her mind. It was seven o'clock and she still hadn't come across anything supernatural. "Here, vampires."

"You called?"

She looked up to find a tall, blonde-haired man standing ten feet away. "Yeah. I wanted someone to come out and play with me. You game?"

The vampire smiled. "Always. I've never killed a Slayer before. It should be fun."

"Didn't your mother ever tell you not to count your chickens before they've hatched? Even the Master tried and failed. Look where it got him."

"He was weak, but I am strong." He ran at Buffy, who, at the last moment, pulled out a stake and plunged it deep into his chest.

"Night night, vampy. Dust in peace," she punned as the vampire exploded before her.

Buffy checked her watch. Seven oh five. 'I give up. There's no vamps tonight, so I'm going to the Bronze. Giles will never know.' She headed home to change into more appropriate party clothes. No way could she show up at the Bronze in a t-shirt and black stretch pants. Especially not when she was supposed to be meeting Oz's cousin. First impressions were important to her.

Half a block from her house, Buffy heard the sounds of an argument. Curious, she headed toward the voices.

"What do you want?" the man demanded. He was tall with short brown hair and wore jeans and a gray sweater. Not a vampire.

A short blonde girl, no older than Buffy, smiled devilishly. "Just a kiss."

Buffy's spider sense began tingling. The girl was definitely a vampire on the hunt. And the tall young man was about to be her next victim. Grabbing the stake from the waistband of her pants, she silently approached.

"Look, I'm not interested," he said.

"But I am very interested. It'll be a kiss you never forget." The vampire craned her neck, vamping into game face, then brought her fangs to his neck. Before they had a chance to make contact with the stunned man's skin, Buffy tapped her on the shoulder.

"Weren't you ever told that you don't use your teeth when giving a hickey? Every teenage girl knows that," Buffy told the female vampire.

She turned, hissing. "Go away or you're next."

"Well, see, he's not interested, so why don't you start with me?"

The vampire looked closely at Buffy. "Slayer."

"Good guess. Now, are you gonna leave him alone or do you want to answer to me?"

The vampire pushed the young man to the ground, and ran toward Buffy. She met her opponent, greeting her with a kick to the back of the legs. As Buffy lowered her stake, the vampire caught her arm, throwing the Slayer to the ground next to her. Kicking her legs up, Buffy rebounded quickly.

She kicked the vampire with a roundhouse to the face. Stumbling backward, the demon hit a tree, and Buffy wasted no time in staking her. Wiping the dust from her body, she looked around. The vampire's intended victim sat on the sidewalk, rubbing his neck.

"Are you hurt?" Buffy wanted to know.

He gazed at her, shaking his head. "No, I'm all right."

Buffy offered her hand to help him up. He took it and stood up, never taking his eyes off of her. His savior was strikingly pretty. Not necessarily drop-dead gorgeous, but certainly attractive. She had a hardened innocence about her; it attracted him. He didn't remember her from when he used to live in Sunnydale, not that he would have noticed her anyway back in those days. But now, he definitely noticed her.

She couldn't take her eyes off of him either. The brown orbs of his eyes carried an air of sorrow and guilt, but then it was gone a second later. He had great hair, short brown and spikey on top. His gray sweater clung to the muscles on his upper arms; Buffy could tell he worked out. The young man was handsome. She'd never seen him around Sunnydale before, though. 'Must have just started at the university,' she thought.

He was the first to speak when their hands dropped to their sides. "Thank you for that."

"No problem," Buffy said with a smile. "Are you sure you're all right? That was a nasty fall."

"I'm fine. Although I thought I was a goner for a minute there. You saved my life."

"It was nothing."

"How did you know what to do? Do you always carry a stake with you in case you run into a vampire?" he asked.

Buffy gulped. How did he know about vampires? "Excuse me?"

"Sunnydale's finally figured out what's going on at night? A lot's changed I guess."

"You know about vampires? How?"

"When you hang out after dark long enough, you discover things. Especially when three of your friends die because of blood loss and have bite marks on their necks," he answered. "I'm not as oblivious as most people in this town. I don't suffer from selective memory. How do you know about them?"

Buffy couldn't stop staring at him. "I fight them."

"Apparently. You fight really well."

"Thank you. But if you know about the after-dark activities here in Sunnydale, why are you out?"

"I'm meeting some people at the Bronze. It's not that far of a walk from the dorms, and it's nice out, so I thought I'd walk. Thought I'd be safe."

She nodded. "Never underestimate them."

"So I've noticed." He paused. "Sorry, I'm being rude to you. You saved my life and I never even asked your name."

Buffy laughed. "You're not being rude at all. I'm Buffy. Buffy Summers."

The young man grinned. "You have a pretty name."

"I hate it."

"Can't be much worse than mine. You try going through life being named Angel."

"Well, my sympathies are with you there."

Angel shrugged. "I've gotten used to it after twenty years. Now that I know your name, I could never see you as anything but a Buffy."

"Are you always this charming?"

His smile disappeared. "No." The sorrow returned to his eyes. Buffy wondered what caused it to come back. And why it was there in the first place. "I -- I should go. I'm late."

"If you don't mind being a little later, I'll walk with you. I just have to run home and change," Buffy told him.

Angel shook his head. "I'll manage. Thanks anyway."

"Okay, if you're sure. Maybe I'll see you there."

"Yeah. Thank you again, Buffy." He turned and walked away.

"Bye," she said softly. Buffy hoped she would see him later.

********

2

Buffy bounded down the stairs to the front door. "Mom?" she called.

Mrs. Summers stepped into the living room. "Yeah, honey?"

"I'm headed for the Bronze now."

"Who's going? When will you be back?"

She shook her head at her mother's over-protectiveness. "I'm meeting Willow, Oz and his cousin. I'll be back around eleven."

"Who is Oz's cousin? What do you know about this person?"

"From what Will's told me, he's a serial killer. He preys on young blonde girls with seriously over-protective mothers." Buffy saw her mother's look of annoyance. "Easy, Mom. Geez. I can take care of myself. It's a big group setting, so you don't have to worry. If he tries anything, the guy will be unconscious before he knows what hit him."

"I worry about you, Buffy."

Buffy gave her mother a small smile. "You don't have to. I'll try not to stay out too late. Bye." She walked out the door.

On the short walk to Sunnydale's only club, Buffy thought about the young man whose life she saved an hour earlier. 'Angel.' Right off the bat, she liked him. He seemed to know the score immediately, which attracted her to him. Not to mention his good looks. But what she liked best about Angel was his straight-forwardness. He didn't hide the fact that he knew about vampires; he definitely knew what was what.

She entered the Bronze, heading right for the refreshment counter. Her body craved something with caffeine in it. The line was very short, most of the people there were sitting on the couches or were dancing to the music the DJ was playing. The person in front of her turned around quickly, almost bumping into her.

"I'm sorry," he apologized, keeping his gaze locked on the steaming cup of coffee in his hand.

"That's okay." She looked at him. "Angel."

He lifted his eyes. The corners of his mouth turned upward. "Hi, Buffy."

"Hi. Did you make it here without any trouble?" she asked.

Angel nodded. "Uh-huh. I hauled ass, believe me."

She laughed. "I don't doubt it."

He looked her up and down. She'd changed from pants and a t-shirt to a black top and a thigh-level jean skirt with three inch knee boots. Her hair was piled on top of her head in a messy bun and her makeup wasn't over-applied, like the girls he knew in high school had worn it.

"You look great," he complimented.

Buffy blushed. "Thank you."

"Next!" the man behind the counter shouted.

"That's my cue," Buffy told him.

"Okay." Before leaving, Angel asked one last question. "Hey, Buffy?"

"Yeah?"

For the first time in years, he was nervous. "If you're not too busy later, would you save me a dance?"

"Sure," she agreed with a big smile.

As he headed for his table, Angel couldn't help but think about the pretty girl who saved his life. He'd only known her for an hour, but he could tell she was different from other girls. Not just because she could fight and kill a vampire without breaking a sweat, but because she didn't look at him as a piece of meat. She saw him, not just his body. For once, Angel believed he might actually be able to have a friendship with a girl. He wanted to be friends with Buffy.

After ordering herself a Pepsi, Buffy made her way over to her friends. She found Willow sitting alone at a table in the center of the club. Buffy pulled out a chair and sat down, placing her cup on the table.

"Hey, Will," she greeted.

"Buffy! You made it," Willow said in astonishment.

"I promised, didn't I?"

"Yeah."

Buffy looked around the Bronze for Oz, but didn't see him. She also hoped to see Angel, but couldn't find him either. "How come you're here by yourself? Isn't Oz here yet?"

"No, he's here. He introducing his cousin to Devon." Willow took a deep breath. "Buffy, there's something you need to know about him. I never put two and two together until I saw him."

She scrunched up her eyebrows. "What is it, Will?"

"I know you think I invited you so I could hook you two up. But now that I know who he is, I don't want you to go out with him. He's not a nice guy."

"Why?"

Willow closed her mouth quickly. Her eyes focused on someone behind Buffy's shoulder. She plastered a grin on her face. "Hi, guys."

The two men stood just behind Buffy, off to the left. "How's it going?" Oz asked Buffy.

"Pretty good."

"Buffy, this is my cousin –"

"Angel," she finished for Oz when she saw him standing in back of her.

'This is too weird,' Angel thought. 'This is the friend Willow keeps talking about.' He smiled at the blonde girl for the upteenth time that night. "Hi again, Buffy."

Willow moved her eyes from Buffy to Angel and back again. "You two know each other? How?"

"We met earlier. Buffy saved my life," Angel informed her.

"Really? How…interesting."

"He got cornered by a vamp on his way here," Buffy told Willow and Oz.

"Did you get hurt?" Oz wanted to know.

Angel shook his head. "Nope, I was in good hands."

The two guys sat down and the four of them talked for a good half-hour. Every once in a while, Buffy would catch Angel looking at her and smile. He seemed like a very nice guy, and couldn't understand why Willow was telling her to stay away from him. First impressions meant a lot to Buffy, and Angel had made a good one. 'What's wrong with him? Why did Willow say he's not a nice guy?'

She didn't have to wait long for an answer. Willow stood up, grabbing Buffy's arm. "I have to go to the ladies' room," she said.

"I guess I'll be joining her."

"We'll be back in a couple minutes," Willow told Oz and Angel before she and Buffy took off.

She led her best friend into the game room, empty and out of the line of sight of the guys. "What's this about, Will?" Buffy questioned.

"I wanna warn you."

"About what?"

Willow checked to make sure they were still alone. "About Angel. You two seem to be getting along really well."

"We are. He's a nice guy, I like him."

She shook her head. "He's not, Buffy. Stay away from him. I don't want you to get hurt."

"What are you talking about? How is he going to hurt me?"

"You have to promise not to tell Oz I told you. I don't think he knows that I know."

Buffy had no clue what Willow was talking about. She was beating around the bush. "Know what? Just tell me."

"Promise me."

She sighed. "Fine, I promise. What's this big secret about Angel?"

"He's a user."

"User? He does drugs?" Buffy couldn't believe a clean-cut looking guy like Angel was an addict. He didn't seem the type. 'But, is there a type?' she wondered.

"No."

"What then?"

Willow inhaled heavily. "Sex. He uses girls for sex."

Buffy laughed. "You're kidding."

"I'm not. Back in high school, he was really popular. Played Varsity all four years, was captain in his senior year, he even won a scholarship to Notre Dame to play football there. Angel was the biggest guy on campus. I was a freshman, but I'd even heard about him. Everyone called him the King of Yes. That was his nickname because no girl ever said no to him. Buffy, he'd go out with a girl until she'd sleep with him, then he would dump her."

"Where did you hear that from?"

"Halfway through freshman year, I walked into homeroom and found Harmony Kendall sitting at her desk crying. I asked her what was wrong and she told me what happened. She was cheering at the football team's last game of the year. They won really big and Angel asked her out afterwards. Of course, she said yes. She thought it was a big honor to be noticed by him. He took her to his house and…well, you know.

"Two days later, he still hadn't called her. Monday in school, she went up to him and asked him why. He told Harmony to stop acting like a little girl and that he never planned on calling her. It was fun, but it was a one-time deal."

Buffy raised her eyebrows. "Harmony told you all this?"

"Yes. She knew I'd listen and not judge her. I don't want the same thing to happen to you, Buffy. Angel is a jerk. He'll do whatever he can to get you into bed. Don't fall into his trap."

"I can take care of myself, Will."

"I know you can, but still…I wanted to warn you. Don't fall into his trap. Keep away from him."

"I don't want to stay away from him. He's been nothing but grateful and nice to me, and I don't think he's faking it. Angel deserves a chance and I'm going to give him one. But you have my word that if he tries anything, I'll kick him where he'll feel it for the rest of his life."

Willow smiled. "All right. I trust your judgement, but you needed…no, you deserved to know."

"Thank you," Buffy said. "But I trust my instincts. I like Angel. I'm not going to let his reputation stop me from being friends with him."

"Yeah, but still, it was something you needed to know."

"I appreciate you telling me. We better get back before the guys think we fell in," Buffy said with a humorous smile.

Willow laughed. "Let's go."

********

3

"So, man, what do you think?" Oz wanted to know.

"About what?"

He sighed. "Buffy."

"She seems nice enough."

"Seeing any sparks yet?" Oz asked with a raised eyebrow.

Angel smiled and shook his head at his cousin's question. "You never give up, do you?"

"After what you've been through in the past year, you deserve some happiness. Besides, you never know."

"I like her."

"Uh-huh," he commented with a half-smile. "You like Buffy. That's why you've been staring at her since we sat down. Admit it, Angel, you've got it bad for her."

He could only stare at his cousin in astonishment. Oz could always see right through him. "So maybe I do like her a lot. And it's not because she saved my life. Buffy's someone who I think I can be friends with. She doesn't know about me; about the sick and twisted things I've done. Or at least I don't think she does."

"She doesn't. She didn't move here until after you graduated."

"See? I can start over with a clean slate."

"Are you going to tell her?" questioned Oz.

"I want to, but I'm afraid of what she'll think of me. I do have a fairly colorful past with women."

"Buffy's pretty open-minded. Come on, the girl's a Slayer. She'd have to be."

Angel squinted his eyes. "Explain this whole Slayer thing to me. She's strong and she kills vampires. What else do I need to know about it?"

"The lore is that there's one girl in the world chosen in every generation to fight the vampires. Buffy was chosen. She can kick ass with the best of them."

"She seems like doing it."

Oz shrugged. "I think she's come to accept it. Buffy'd rather be doing normal girl stuff, according to Will."

"Must be a lot of pressure for her," Angel commented.

"I guess." He looked up to see Buffy and Willow walking toward the table. "Tell her tonight, Angel. Before she hears it from someone else. That's not how you want her to find out."

He nodded. "I'm going to tell her."

Buffy and Willow reached them with smiles on their faces. "We're back." They sat down in their abandoned chairs.

"So we see."

For another twenty minutes the four of them talked. About school, sports, activities and what it was like to live in Sunnydale. Every few minutes, Buffy would take a quick glance at Angel, hoping to find something that would explain to her why he'd done the things Willow said he had done.

'Why would he use girls for sex? He's a good-looking guy, why did he need to do that? I bet he could get any girl he wanted, so why use them and then throw them away? It doesn't make any sense to me. Is he afraid of a commitment?' All those questions were floating around in her head.

Oz got out of his chair, taking Willow's hand. "We're going to dance."

Buffy nodded. "Okay."

No sooner had the couple reached the dance floor when a slow song began playing. Angel contemplated asking Buffy to dance, but didn't think she'd say yes to a slow dance. He wasn't sure if maybe she would think it was presumptuous of him to ask.

'What the hell,' he thought. 'It won't hurt to ask. The worst that can happen is she says no.' "Buffy?"

She looked up from her drink. "Yes?" 'Is he going to ask me to dance?'

"Can I take you up on that dance now? That is, if you want to," Angel asked.

"Sure," Buffy replied, brightening.

He took her by the hand, guiding her to an empty space on the dance floor. His arms wrapped around her slender waist, and for some strange reason, Angel felt at home. With his dark eyes focused on the pretty blonde girl in his arms, they danced.

// Look at me
You may think you see who I really am
But you'll never know me
Everyday, it's as if I play a part
Now I see, if I wear a mask
I can fool the world
But I cannot fool my heart\\

"They seem to have hit it off," Oz commented to Willow, watching his cousin glide along with Buffy a few feet away.

"I guess," she replied.

He gazed curiously at his girlfriend. "Willow, what is it?"

"Nothing."

"You're not a very good liar. I can see it all over your face. Something's bothering you. What is it?"

Willow sighed. "It's just that…I know Angel. I – I mean, I remember him. You know, what he was like back in high school."

"What?" Oz had no idea that she knew who his cousin was, or of his reputation back in those days. "How?"

"Harmony told me. And I don't think it's a good idea for us to be playing matchmaker for him and Buffy."

"Will," he started, wanting to explain.

Willow continued before he could finish. "She's my best friend; I don't want her to get hurt."

"Angel isn't going to hurt her."

"I know all about the things he's done. He's only going to use her."

"He won't."

"You can't guarantee that. So I told her about him."

His eyes widened. "You did what?"

"Yes. I told Buffy."

"You don't know the whole story. Angel's changed a lot while he was away. He's not the same person he was before."

She shook her head. "I'm sorry, Oz. But I just don't trust him. Especially when he's capable of doing that."

"He's not like that anymore. Stuff happened at Notre Dame. You don't believe me? Here's what happened…"//

Who is that girl I see?
Staring straight back at me
When will my reflection show who I am inside?
I am now in a world where I have to hide my heart
And what I believe in
But somehow, I will show the world what's inside my heart
And be loved for who I am
Who is that girl I see?
Staring straight back at me?
Why is my reflection someone I don't know?
Must I pretend that I'm someone else for all time?
When will my reflection show who I am inside? \\

"When did you move here? I don't remember you from when I lived in Sunnydale," Angel asked. 'Of course you don't remember her, you idiot. Oz said she didn't move here until after you graduated.'

"Early '97. I used to live in Los Angeles."

He smiled. "Why on earth would you leave L.A. to come to Sunnydale?"

"My parents got divorced and my mom and I came here. Wanted to have a fresh start and all that," Buffy answered.

"I'm sorry. About your parents getting a divorce. It must have been really hard on you."

She shrugged her shoulders. "I was upset at first, but looking back on it, I realize it was for the best. By the end of it all, I was glad to get out of L.A. Didn't have the best reputation toward the end."

Angel completely understood. "I know exactly what you mean. Sometimes, you just have to leave; get away from it all." He held her more firmly, glad to have someone to talk to; someone who'd maybe understand him. "What happened that made you want to leave?"

Embarrassed, she laughed. "I burnt down the gymnasium at my old high school. It was full of vampires. But it doesn't leave a very good impression with the other students."

"No, I guess it doesn't. I can see why you wanted to leave."

"Why did you leave? Willow said you went to Notre Dame on a football scholarship."

He nodded, still gazing into her hypnotic green eyes. For some reason, Angel found it difficult to take his eyes off of her. "I didn't get along very well with my father. I still don't, which is why I'm dorming instead of living at home. I couldn't be the son he wanted me to be."

"He had big plans for you, huh?"

"For my older brother, yes. But he died of a congenital heart defect when he was ten. All of Dad's expectations for Brandon were passed on to me. I wasn't as academically gifted as my brother, and it disappointed my father. Rather than burying my nose in a book, I'd be here or on a date or out with my friends. When I got that full scholarship to Notre Dame, he didn't even congratulate me. All he said was that I got it, not for my brains or ability, but because I could throw a ball one hundred yards. Said it didn't make a difference to him what it meant, because it meant that I wasn't smart enough to get in on my own merit. So I got the hell out of that house."

"And you came back anyway?"

"Yeah. Things didn't work out there. I had some bad experiences I'd rather forget."

She bit her lip. "Sorry for bringing it up."

He shook his head. "It's fine. I find it nice to talk to someone about it. Well, someone besides Oz."

"Well, I'm a good listener."

"It's a good trait to have." 'I just hope you continue to listen when I tell you what I have to tell you.'

// There's a heart that must be free to fly
That burns with a need to know the reason why
Why must we all conceal what we think? How we feel?
Must there be a secret me I'm forced to hide?
I won't pretend that I'm someone else for all time
When will my reflection show who I am inside?
When will my reflection show who I am inside? \\

********

4

The four of them danced and talked for another forty-five minutes. After learning more about Angel, Buffy still found it hard to believe that a nice, friendly guy like him had to use girls for sex. It blew her mind. As she told Willow earlier in the evening, it wasn't going to change the fact that she wanted to know him better.

At quarter to ten, she stood up, grabbing her purse. "I hate to bail on you guys, but I promised Mom I'd be home early tonight."

"Are you sure you can't stay a little longer?" Willow asked hopefully.

"I can't. Mom's been really over-protective since she found out about the whole Slayer thing. It's best to shut up and just keep her happy," Buffy explained.

"Okay. See you tomorrow at school?"

Buffy smiled. "You got it."

"Actually," Angel began, "I should get going as well. First day of classes tomorrow and I've got Math at nine. I'm going to need all the sleep I can get."

Oz and Willow nodded. "Alright, Angel. Give me a call this weekend and I'll let you sit in on a Dingoes rehearsal," he said.

"Sounds great. Buffy, do you mind if I walk with you?"

"Not at all. I'd love the company."

"Willow, it was nice meeting you finally," Angel said, extending his hand for her to shake.

She shook it. "Same here. The four of us will have to get together again soon."

Saying their goodbyes, Buffy and Angel left the Bronze. Oz, before his cousin had left, reminded him to tell Buffy the truth. Even though Willow already told her, he wanted Angel to admit it to her face. Whether or not he'd tell the entire story was up to him.

"Angel's not a bad guy, Wills," Oz said. "You just have to get to know him."

"Yeah, I know. I guess I didn't give him a fair shot. I feel so bad for him, especially after what you told me."

Oz frowned. "He's had it rough. Between Brandon's death, his dad, and everything that happened in Indiana, Angel deserves someone who can see the real him. Buffy might be that person. At least I hope she is."

"I feel so horrible for judging him so harshly. I guess I jumped to the wrong conclusion."

Oz shrugged. "You didn't know all the facts. The only people who know the real reason he's back in Sunnydale are me, him and now you."

"Buffy should know. After what I told her, she probably thinks he's a really bad person. I have to tell her."

"Angel said he's going to tell her tonight. Will, I think he really likes her. I mean *really* likes her."

"I hope I didn't ruin his chance at a friendship with her. Or anything else."

He put his arm around his girlfriend. "I'm sure you didn't. The way those two were talking and dance tonight, you did not seem to sway her opinion of him at all."

***

"Are you sure you don't want me to walk you to the dorms?" Buffy offered when they reached her front yard. "I don't want you to run into any trouble."

"Thanks, but I'll be fine. It's only ten minutes away from here. Besides, I think it's more appropriate for the guy to walk the girl home, even if she does have super powers," he replied with a wink and a smile.

"Always a gentleman, right?"

He shook his head in disagreement. "No, not always. Look, there's something I think you need to know about me."

Buffy gazed curiously at him. "What is it?"

Angel took her by the hand, leading her to the porch. They sat on the top step while he thought of the right words to say. "I want us to be friends, Buffy. And if we're going to do that, then I have to be honest with you about certain things. Regarding my past."

"Tell me. I'm not going to judge you." 'I wonder if he's going to confirm what Willow said. Or maybe he'll deny it.'

"I'm hoping that you won't judge me for the stupid things I've done."

Angel paused before beginning. "When I was in high school, and through most of college, I had a rather bad reputation. So bad, in fact, that now, when I look back on it, I'm sickened by the things I've done and the people I've hurt in the process."

She tried to reassure him. "It couldn't have been that bad. Everybody makes mistakes, Angel."

"These weren't little mistakes. I knew exactly what I was doing. And I didn't care."

"You can tell me."

"Yeah, I feel like I can confide in you. For four years I did this. I - I'd date a girl, and sleep with her. And after it was all over, once I got what I wanted from her, I'd dump her. Buffy, I don't know what the male equivalent of a slut is, but I was it. Hundreds of girls I did that to, from the time I was fifteen until I was nineteen."

She nodded in understanding. Willow had been right, not that it really mattered to Buffy. Hearing it from Angel himself made it different somehow.

"Oh. Is that what you still do? Because I'd like to know ahead of time what I might be getting myself into."

"No. I - Let's just say I saw the error of my ways."

"What happened? Did you catch something? Or get sick?" she asked, concerned.

"No, I'm perfectly healthy. Stuff happened at Notre Dame that I'm just not ready to talk about quite yet."

"Okay," she responded, not wanting to push him.

"I don't want you to think any less of me; I am not like that anymore."

Buffy gave him a smile. "I'll take your word for it. And I know what it's like to be judged by a reputation. I couldn't do that to someone else. You seem like a very nice guy; someone I'd like to know better."

"I swear to God, I haven't used a girl like that since.nine months maybe. The fact that I used hundreds of girls for sex isn't something I'm proud of. I look back at it in shame. And I'm not going to do it ever again. You needed to know that before you heard it from someone else."

She sighed. "I already knew, Angel."

Angel looked at her. "You did? People are still talking about me? I am never going to live this down."

"I didn't hear about it until today. It isn't still going around school, so don't worry. Willow told me at the Bronze."

"So you've known all along? And you're still here?" It was amazing to Angel that Buffy had stuck around after learning about his past.

"Don't look so surprised. She wanted to warn me about you. I told her that I don't care about that; I like you. Willow just wanted to make sure I knew about your reputation before I got in over my head."

Angel ran a hand through his dark hair. "She thinks I am going to use you. I'm not, I won't. All I want is to have someone to talk to, someone I can confide in. A friend."

"I'd like to be your friend."

"So would I. Would you mind if I call you sometime this week?" he asked hopefully. "To talk?"

"Sure. I don't have a pen and paper to write down my number, though."

"I can get it from Oz. Actually, I was wondering, do you have plans tomorrow night?"

Buffy shook her head. "Just patrol, nothing after that."

"There's a football game. UC Sunnydale versus UCLA. I'm the starting quarterback and it would mean a lot if you could come and cheer me on. Maybe we can grab something to eat after the game," he suggested. "Strictly as friends."

"I'd love to go. Thanks for inviting me."

He glanced at his watch. Almost ten-thirty. "I should really get back. Buffy, thank you. For saving my life earlier, for listening to me, and for not treating me like the social pariah everything in Sunnydale thinks I am."

Buffy watched him until he was out of sight. Her heart went out to her new friend. It sounded like he'd had a hard life. After three years of searching, she'd finally found someone who could understand her, and vice versa.

***

5

After he'd returned to his dorm room, Angel dialed Oz's house. He had promised to call with all the important details of his conversation with Buffy. His aunt picked up the phone on the fourth ring.

"Hello?"

"Hi, Aunt Beth," Angel said to Oz's mother.

She smiled at the sound of her nephew's voice. "Angel, it's so nice to hear from you. When did you get back?"

"Just the other day. How have you been?"

"Very well. The bookstore is keeping me quite busy, though. And yourself? Are you doing any better?"

"I'm a lot better than I was a few months ago. Definitely glad to be back in Sunnydale."

"You must come by sometime this week for dinner. I imagine the dorm food isn't very good. Or nutritious."

He laughed. "It's horrible. I find myself getting burgers and french fries a lot."

"That's not healthy. Angel, you are welcome to come here anytime you like for a home-cooked meal. After all, you are family," she offered.

"Thanks, Aunt Beth. Is Daniel home?"

"Hold on a minute."

While he waited for his cousin to get on the line, Angel kicked off his sneakers and sat back on the bed, leaning on his side. Oz's voice came through the phone a full minute later.

"Hey, Angel. What's going on?"

"Just calling like you told me to."

"So? Did you tell Buffy?" Oz wanted to know.

"Apparently, she already knew. Willow talked to her at the Bronze when they went to the bathroom. Told her all about my reputation in high school. I wasn't too happy when I found out. Made me feel like a complete fool in front of Buffy."

Oz sighed. "Sorry, man. Will said she told Buffy. But she didn't know everything. I hope you don't mind, I told her what happened to you at Notre Dame."

"Why did you do that?" he asked coarsely. "I asked you not to tell anyone about it."

"I had to. She didn't believe me when I said you changed; that you weren't the same guy you were back in high school. She needed proof."

"Wonderful," Angel said, sarcastically. "Even more people know what a jerk I am. What if she tells Buffy? I mean, when I told her what I was like back then, she didn't even blink an eye. But if your girlfriend blurts out what happened to me back there, that might be it. I could lose the life I'm trying to make for myself, as well as a budding friendship with someone who understands me. A kindred spirit."

In the privacy of his own bedroom, Oz raised his eyebrows. "I thought you told Buffy everything."

"I couldn't. She knows about the things I did in high school, my reputation, etc. But when she asked why I changed, I choked. Oz, I couldn't bring myself to say it aloud. I'm too ashamed. I didn't want to see the look of horror and disgust on her face when she heard the truth," Angel explained.

"You'll have to tell her eventually."

"And I'm going to. But I want her to know the real me first, so she can see how different I am from the guy I used to be. You know, it was only nine months ago. I was that sick, twisted bastard back in January. It seems like a lifetime ago."

"It was hell for you. Angel, you've done a complete one-eighty from the guy I grew up with. You really turned your life around," said Oz. "Don't do anything stupid that might jeopardize it all."

"You don't need to worry. I swear on my brother's grave, the next time I sleep with a girl, I'm going to wake up next to her. I won't use her like I've done before. It'll be about more than just sex. It'll be about love."

***

"You're going on a date with him?" exclaimed Xander. "I can't believe you. This guy is only after one thing."

Across the lunch table from him, Buffy sighed heavily. "It's not a date. I'm going to the football game and we're getting something to eat afterward. What makes you think I'm going to sleep with Angel? You should know me better than that."

"And everyone knows his reputation. Buffy, he's been with half the girls in Sunnydale. And I mean in the full Biblical sense."

"I know that. Angel told me all about what he did to girls. Can't I give him a chance?"

"Why?" he questioned. "So you can be like everyone else? Be used and abused and thrown out on the curb like every other girl Angel Osborne has ever gone out with? I thought you were smarter than that."

"He and I are friends. We only met last night. If I hadn't shown up when I did, he would have been a vampire's snack. I saved his life," Buffy said.

Xander laughed shortly. "Yeah, I bet he'd love to show you how grateful he is. He'll try to get you in bed, and when he does, you'll never hear from him again. You will wish you'd listened to me."

"He's not like that anymore. Angel won't use me. Why can't you trust me; trust him?"

"Because that guy's smooth. I bet he's using that 'I've changed' line on you so you'll feel sorry for him. And he'll prey on your sympathy and next thing you know, he's sending you a personalized dump-o-gram. 'Thanks for the sex, but once was enough for me.' Smarten up."

"I don't believe it," she commented. "You are jealous of my friendship with him. And you're afraid it'll turn into something more. That I'll end up falling for him."

He shook his head. "No."

"Yes. Look, you don't have to worry about a thing. I have absolutely no intentions of bedding him. I'm not even looking for a relationship right now. All of my boyfriends tend to end up dead or really close to it. The last thing I need is to be worrying about whether or not my boyfriend will live to see tomorrow. Angel and I are going out as friends. That's all we are, that's all we'll ever be. Got it?"

"Yeah. But if he tries anything, put me down for a big 'I told you so.'"

"Fine. But no offense, I have faith in him. I honestly believe that Angel was telling me the truth last night."

"Well, no offense to you, Buff, but I trust that guy about as far as I can throw him. You'll see."

***

6

On his way to the stadium that afternoon before the game, Angel ran into one of his teammates. The UCLA game wouldn't start for another two hours, but the team still had to go over their strategy and game plan.

"Hey, Osborne!" Patrick McClain called from the other side of the quad.

He turned to see the two hundred pound linebacker headed his way. "Hi, Patrick. You on your way to the stadium?"

"Yeah. I was just in the Student Union with Mark and Kevin, figuring out what we're going to do after the game. We're headed to the Bronze for a celebration party. Are you gonna come with us?"

"Thanks, but I've got plans already," Angel declined.

Patrick grinned devilishly. "Got a hot date?"

"Not really. I'm grabbing something to eat with a girl I met last night."

"Let me guess, she's really beautiful."

"Well, yeah. She's very pretty, smart and funny."

"You've been in town for a week and already you're back in the game?

Angel, man, you are my idol. How the hell do you get these girls to fall for your act? Come on, let me in on your secret," begged Patrick. "Help those who are less fortunate."

Angel shook his head. "I'm not into that anymore, Pat. She's just a friend."

'Sure she is. 'Til she ends up in your bed. You'll get her in the sack by the third date."

"Go to hell," he spat.

"What crawled up your ass and died? God, abstinent for six months and you lose your sense of humor," Patrick commented.

"Nine months, actually. I don't like that you are insinuating that I'm only going out with Buffy for one reason. I'm not after sex this time around."

Patrick raised his eyebrows. "Buffy? As in Buffy Summers?"

Angel nodded. "Yes. Why? Got a problem with it?"

"Nothing, except the girl is psycho. She burnt down her old school in Los Angeles. She's not a girl you wanna mess with. And the police were after her for murder back in May," he informed his friend.

"And your point being?"

"My point is that you are asking for trouble with that one. Big trouble."

"I think I can handle myself. Though I do appreciate your concern. I'll keep it in the back of my mind."

Patrick shook his head. "I wish you luck, then."

"I doubt I'm going to need it. Oh, and by the way, you were wrong. She didn't burn down her entire school. Just the gymnasium," Angel corrected with a cocky smirk.

"Oh, just the gym. She's such a humanitarian. That makes it all better."

***

"Where are you going tonight? To the Bronze with Willow and Xander?" asked Mrs. Summers when Buffy came down the stairs dressed in jeans and a blue turtleneck.

"Nope. The UC Sunnydale football game."

"Why are you going there? You don't even like football."

"Angel asked me to go and I said yes," Buffy answered.

"Angel. He's Oz's cousin, right? The young man you met last night?"

Buffy nodded. "One in the same."

"And you're already going out on a date with him? To a crowded football stadium after dark? That doesn't sound very safe."

"God, why does everyone think it's a date? It's not. We got along really well last night. Actually, I saved him from a vamp last night and we hit it off right away. Angel's a nice guy, that's all. We're only friends."

"I still don't like it. College boys are different from other boys."

She shook her head. "Forget it. I'll be home later."

"If he tries anything, Buffy -"

"I'll knock him into the next millennium. Goodbye, Mom."

Buffy walked out the door. She wished her mother and her friends had more faith in her. 'Why do they think I'm going to let something happen between me and Angel? I'm not ready for that serious of a relationship and I totally trust that he's changed.'

It wasn't that she didn't find him attractive, because she certainly did. Angel was one of the handsomest men she'd ever met. He had all the qualities she had been looking for in a boyfriend: nice, funny, smart, strong and good-looking. His smile was so brilliant, just imagining it brought one to her own face. As nice as he was, though, she could never see herself in any kind of a relationship with him except one of friendship.

It didn't have anything to do with his colored and very flawed past; Buffy could look beyond that. In fact, it hardly mattered to her at all. But the last thing she wanted, or needed, in her life was a boyfriend. She'd only dated a few boys since learning of her calling two and a half years earlier.

There was Owen Thurman in sophomore year, who liked danger a little too much for her liking; Tom Warner in junior year, who tried to sacrifice her to a demon; Cameron Walker in junior year, who ended up becoming a giant fish; and Scott Hope over the summer, who found Buffy too distracted with other things to really commit to a relationship. By the time that happened, she came to the conclusion that it simply wasn't in the cards for her to have a boyfriend.

It took her ten minutes to walk to the UC Sunnydale campus, and three more to reach the stadium. From outside the entrance gate, she could see that it was already crowded. 'Great,' she thought. 'Now I'm never going to find someplace to sit.' Paying the three dollars to get in, Buffy found that it wasn't as bad as the originally thought. She found a seat on the bleachers fairly close to the field and waited for the game to begin.

***

"Where are you headed, Angel?" Coach Parker asked when he saw his quarterback, dressed in full uniform, walking out the door.

Angel turned around. "I want to see if someone showed up."

"Girlfriend?"

He shook his head. "Nope. Just a friend."

One of the players laughed. "I bet she won't be your friend for too long."

"What the hell do you know about it?" Angel demanded. "Just stay out of my personal business."

"It's Psycho Summers, ain't it?" Patrick asked, adding to the snickers of the rest of the team.

Angel gritted his teeth. "Her name is Buffy. Not that it's any of your business, she's just a friend. I don't know what all of you think you know about me, but let me tell you something. I'm totally different from the rumors and reputation might have you believe. If you leave me alone, I'll do the same to you."

Nobody said anything in reply. His outburst took them all by surprise.

"Five minutes, Osborne," the coach said to him.

"Fine."

Angel walked toward the spectator section, searching for Buffy. After a quick scan of the crowd, he spotted her at the end of the bleachers, sitting several feet away from everyone else. He trotted over with his helmet in his hand.

"You look thrilled to be here," he said as a greeting when he reached her.Buffy glanced up from the magazine she'd been reading, seeing Angel standing on the other side of the chain-link fence. A smile spread across her face. "I am. Aren't you supposed to be going over the game plan or something like that?"

"Did that already. Besides, I'm the quarterback. All I have to do is throw the ball and not get the crap knocked out of me by UCLA's defensive line."

"Sounds like big fun, getting knocked around by a bunch of two hundred pound guys," Buffy commented. "Can't say I want to trade places with you. I'll just watch, thank you very much."

"I love it. If I could, I'd do this for the rest of my life."

She nodded. "It's nice to have a goal in life."

"It is. I gotta get going, the game is starting and Coach Parker only gave me a couple of minutes. Do you still want to get something to eat afterward?"

"Yep. Where should I meet you?" she wanted to know.

"Well, I have to shower and change after the game. How about outside the locker room? I promise not to take too long."

"Okay. See you after the game. Good luck," Buffy said to him.

He smiled. "Thanks. I'm going to need it." He started to walk back to the locker room.

"Hey, Angel?" she called.

"Yeah?"

Giggling, she winked at him. "You look so cute in that blue uniform. Especially those pants."

Angel shook his head in amusement. "Real funny, Buffy."

***

Buffy found the game thrilling and exciting. Football never interested her before, but after watching the game, she had a whole new perspective on it. UC Sunnydale won by only seven points, thanks to a Hail Mary pass thrown by Angel in the final thirty seconds of the game. Buffy had never cheered so hard in her life.

The entire offensive line carried him off the field on their shoulders. While the crowd cheered over their victory, Angel glazed his eyes over the cheering fans for Buffy as he was being carried across the length of the field. Upon finding her, he smiled broadly and waved.

Slowly, the crowd began to dissipate and Buffy made her way to the Men's Locker Room. She leaned against the wall opposite the entrance, waiting patiently for Angel to come out.

Five minutes after getting there, two of the defensive linemen stepped out. Buffy raised her eyes when she heard them mention Angel's name. She couldn't help but eavesdrop on their conversation, wanting to find out what they were saying about him.

"He played an awesome game. That pass Angel threw is the only reason we won."

The other football player shook his head. "Pure luck. Bet he couldn't throw that pass again to save his life."

"You don't like him, do you?"

"Truthfully, I can't stand him. Osborne's got a big-time ego, thinks he's God. So damned arrogant all the time."

"Angel's not so bad once you get to know him. He used to be a lot worse."

"I've heard. What the hell do all those girls see in him? He's nothing special. Just another guy like the rest of us."

"Supposedly, he's got a great pickup line. But he doesn't do that anymore. He's changed," one of the two said with a sarcastic laugh.

"Changed' my ass. I'd bet good money that his date tonight ends up in bed with him by this weekend."

Buffy was in such a state of shock over that comment that she never heard or saw Angel approach. "Buffy, you ready?"

She looked up. "Oh. Yeah."

"Are you okay?"

"Uh-huh. Let's go eat. I'm starved."

***

7

Buffy and Angel sat across from one another in the booth at the pizza parlor. "How did you like the game?" Angel asked after they placed their order for a large pepperoni pizza.

"It was fun. I'm not really into football, but I enjoyed myself. Definitely had a great time, though. Thanks for inviting me."

"Thank you for coming. It means a lot to have someone in the stands cheering for me. It doesn't happen very often."

"Doesn't your family ever come to your games?" Buffy wanted to know.

Angel shook his head. "No. When I played for Sunnydale High, my parents never came to the games. Mom always had something else to do and Dad.well, he never really cared about it. Considered it a waste of his time, my time and my potential."

"That wasn't very nice of him. Your father should have been supportive of you if it was something you really loved."

"Tell that to him," he said softly. "I'm not exactly Daddy's pride and joy. That was Brandon. Don't get me wrong, I am hardly jealous or bitter about it; frankly, I don't care anymore. Dad wanted a son on the debate team or the National Honor Society, not the football team. I just wasn't what he wanted."

"I'm sorry," she apologized. "Most fathers would be proud to have a son like you. It must have been rough for you growing up."

He shrugged. "I resented him, I guess I still do. But I let my aggressions out on the football field."

"It shows. You're great out there," complimented Buffy. "You have amazing accuracy and a strong arm."

"I do my best. I just had a good game, that's all."

She disagreed. "You are too modest, Angel. I saw that last play out there. It was utterly amazing. You threw that ball sixty yards."

"Like I said, I had a good game."

"One of these days, a big-time football scout is going to show up at one of your games and draft you for a famous team. Like the Giants or the Cowboys or the Dolphins."

He laughed. "Knowing my luck, it'll end up being for the Bills."

"You'll get to see snow."

"Highly overrated, believe me. I lived through two cold winters back in Indiana. Trust me, I never want to see snow ever again."

Their pizza arrived five minutes later, and the two dug in. They remained silent while they ate, though the restaurant began filling up with teenagers. The Sunnydale High Varsity football team had just won their game and many of the students came in for something to eat.

A tall brunette, the head cheerleader, made her way over to where Buffy and Angel were sitting. "Angel? Is it really you?"

Glancing up from his pepperoni pizza, he looked at the girl curiously. "Yeah." he said slowly, not recognizing her. "Do I know you?"

Buffy knew exactly who the girl was. Cordelia Chase, the most stuck-up, man-eating snob in the entire school. The two struck up a friendship when Buffy first moved to Sunnydale, but it ended quickly when she began hanging out with Xander and Willow. And it grew to even worse proportions when Owen Thurman showed more of an interest in dating Buffy than he did Cordelia.

She laughed. "Cordelia Chase. Don't you remember me?"

"I think."

Cordelia sighed. "I was a J.V. cheerleader my freshman year. You were a senior then. You smiled at me after the Homecoming game and then danced with me that night. Now do you remember?"

Angel still didn't have a clue. In those days, he smiled at every pretty girl and danced with just as many. Very few stuck out in his head as being memorable. "Yeah, I remember now," he lied. "Cordelia. You're a senior already?"

"Finally," she answered with a flirtatious smile.

"You must know Buffy, then."

She barely looked at Buffy. "Unfortunately," mumbled Cordelia. "Well, I only came over to say hi, so I'll leave you alone. Give me a call sometime, Angel. We'll get together and have some fun. I'm in the book."

"You bet."

After Cordelia walked away, Buffy gazed at her friend. "You didn't know who she was, did you?" she asked with a giggle.

Angel shook his head. "Not a clue."

"Consider yourself lucky. Cordelia is the shallowest, bitchiest girl in all of Sunnydale. She thinks the world revolves around her."

"Oh."

"Gonna call her?"

"Not as long as I'm still breathing. I think she'd bore me to death after five minutes. She's not my type. At least, not anymore," he said.

***

They left the pizza place at nine, standing in the parking lot for a few minutes, enjoying the peace and quiet. The restaurant was too crowded to stay and talk, so they left after eating.

"Do you want to go home now?" Angel asked. "It's only nine."

She shrugged. "I don't know. It's still early yet. But there's nothing to do around Sunnydale. This place is really boring."

"I know. If you wanted to, we could go back to my dorm room and watch a movie or something," he suggested.

Buffy sort of had her reservations about going to his room. She didn't know him all that well and it might seem strange for her to go into an older man's room, especially one with his reputation with women. But she pushed them all to the back of her mind. "Sure," she replied after a brief, but noticeable pause.

"No, you're not sure, I can tell. You think I might try something. I promise you, I won't. Buffy, I'm very well-aware that you could kick my ass without breaking a sweat if I were to do something you didn't like. And I don't want to lose your friendship over something like that."

"I know. I have complete faith in you." It was the truth.

The two of them walked to his dorm room, only five minutes away from the restaurant. Buffy was shocked to see so many students milling around in the darkness. 'It's not safe for them to be out this late. It's like an all-you-can-eat snack bar for a vampire. I think I'd better make the campus part of my daily patrol.'

"What about your roommate? Is he going to care that I'm here?" she wanted to know when they reached his dorm room.

"I have a single room. No roommate."

Buffy was impressed. "Wow, you are really lucky. How'd you manage to swing that one?"

"I have no idea," he said with a shrug. "The university was probably so glad I was going to play for them instead of returning to Notre Dame that they hooked me up. I've even got my own bathroom. It's great."

They stepped inside, and Buffy glanced around. Angel's room was very cozy. A single bed, a dresser, bookshelf, desk, mini-refrigerator, computer and a television. A door off to the left led to the private bathroom.

"I like it," she complimented.

"Thanks. Do you want to watch a movie?"

"If you want. Honestly, I wouldn't mind just sitting and talking. There's a lot we don't know about each other."

Angel agreed with her on that. "You're right, there is. It's hard to believe we only just met last night. What would you like to know?"

She sat down on his bed, and he followed in suit. "There's one question weighing on my mind; it's been bugging me since last night. I know about your reputation, but I don't know why. That's what I'd like to know. Why you did all that stuff."

Angel sat back against the wall. "I don't think there is a reason behind doing something like that. I could blame it on my father and say it's his fault for never believing I was good enough. Acceptance. But that's only a cop-out. The only thing I can think of to defend myself is by saying that it's all I know how to do."

"What do you mean?"

He took a deep breath. "Every sexual experience I've ever had has been a one-time deal."

"Even your first time?" she asked.

"Yeah That's where it all started. The only thing that was different were the circumstances. Instead of me being the user, I was the one being used."

"Oh god, that's horrible. What happened?"

"I was fifteen and back-up quarterback for the Varsity team. She was a senior, popular and a cheerleader. The first-string quarterback got injured and I had to take his place in the game. We won that night and there was a celebration part at her house. Jessica - that was her name - invited me up to her bedroom for what she called a 'special celebration' just for the two of us.

"I don't want to go into all the details because you can pretty much fill in the missing pieces. We had sex. That's all it was; there was no feeling or emotion behind it. When it was all over, Jessica got out of bed, got dressed again and thanked me. I didn't understand what I'd done wrong, but she said I didn't do anything wrong. She said she'd call me, but she never did. And that was where it all started."

She shook her head. "That's so unreal."

"It was very real. And for a long time, that's what I thought sex meant. One night only. No strings attached."

"Does it still hurt that she treated you like that?" she asked out of her own morbid curiosity.

"Sometimes. I thought it was me for the longest time, but now I see that it wasn't. I've grown a lot since I was a freshman in high school. All I want is to find someone I can love, someone I can make love to, not just have sex with. But right now, I'm focused on getting my life back in order. Working on a new life. Everything else, including finding the right girl, is unimportant."

***

8

"Well, I've been chewing your ear off for the past forty-five minutes about all my problems," Angel said. "You're probably ready to fall asleep from boredom any minute now."

Smiling, she shook her head. "Hardly. Your life is a hell of a lot more interesting than mine. I mean, you've had all these different experiences I've never had."

Angel looked down. "Not all of those experiences were good, Buffy. I've been the cause of a lot of heartache. More than I'd like to admit."

"Was it all bad?"

"Some of it was, yes. But at that time, I didn't realize it."

"I don't want to push, but if you want to tell me about it, I'd really like to hear it." 'What could he have done that was so bad?' she wondered.

He shook his head. "I - I can't. Buffy, something happened to me in Indiana, and it's really hard for me to talk about. Just thinking about it makes me sick, honestly. And I do want to tell you, but I'm afraid of what you'll think of me when I do."

"What happened, is it the reason you've changed?"

"Yes. It's the main reason I came back here. I needed to be around my family and my friends, around people who cared."

Buffy looked at him curiously. "You did get sick, didn't you? Angel, you can tell me. If that's what happened, maybe I can help you through it."

"I appreciate it, but that's not what happened. I told you yesterday, I'm not sick. Not that it makes me feel any better; sometimes I think I'd be better off. But I don't have any kind of disease. I've been tested for everything."

"That's good. But what happened? Did you get a girl pregnant?" She knew she was pushing him, but Buffy wanted him to get it out. It was dangerous to let things build up inside. It would eat away until there was nothing left inside of him.

"Buffy, please. I can't talk about it now. Maybe if I were emotionally stronger I could, but I'm not. And I want to tell you, I really do. I don't want to keep any secrets from you. Do you think we could talk about something else?" Angel asked her.

"Of course. What do you want to talk about?"

He shrugged. "Anything that's not me. I'd like to know more about you. What your life has been like, what it's like to be the Slayer. Just anything about you."

"Where do I start? My birthday is January 19, 1981. I'll be eighteen this coming year. I lived in Los Angeles until March of '97 when my parents divorced, then my mom and I moved here. Believe it or not, back at Hemery, I was a cheerleader, Homecoming Queen and Fiesta Queen. I was probably one of the most popular girls on campus. Until I was called, that is. Then my whole life changed."

"Called?" Angel asked. "What's that?"

"I haven't been the Slayer my entire life. At the beginning of my sophomore year, my first Watcher found me and told me who I was. The Chosen One; the only girl in her generation who has the ability to fight vampires. So he trained me, showed me how to use my power. Merrick was a great Watcher."

"Was? He isn't your Watcher anymore?" Angel wanted to know.

Buffy shook her head. "No. He was killed by a vampire a few days before I got expelled."

"You were expelled? And here I thought you just burnt down the gym."

"Well, that was the reason I got kicked out of Hemery. A gang of vamps burst in during a school dance and tried to start a feeding frenzy. I couldn't kill them all, so I got all the students out and burnt the gym to the ground. Not my most shining moment, but it was a 'kill or be killed' situation."

"You saved a lot of lives, you should have been commended, not condemned."

"It's too late now. Besides, I don't like to dwell on the past. It's rather depressing. Kind of like my love life."

Angel smiled. "You didn't leave the love of your life back in Los Angeles when you left?"

She laughed shortly. "Hardly. The only important thing I left behind when I moved to Sunnydale was my father. But there was someone. Two someones, actually. When I was first called, I had been seeing this guy named Tyler. Nice-looking, athletic, and a big player in the crowd I was a part of. It was nothing serious, we just went out to eat or we'd go to the movies. But after I became the Slayer, I had to focus all my attention on that rather than on him. And when I started acting strangely, he dumped me. For my best friend of all people.

"The other guy, Pike, he was more of a friend than anything else. His best friend got vamped and he ended up helping me fight them. He was a great guy and I miss him dearly. He helped me take out the vamps at school; Pike is the only person who understood how hellish my life was back then. But when we moved, Mom refused to let me have any contact with him. She blamed him for my destructive behavior and thought of him as a bad influence. I don't even know where he is or what he's doing."

"Sounds like your romantic history is as exciting as mine," Angel commented.

"Probably. There's been a couple guys in Sunnydale, but nothing really serious. Ever since this past May when I was wanted for murder, the boys have shied away from me. I wonder why."

"That's their loss." He had to pose the next question carefully. "What happened last May? Why were you wanted for murder?"

"I was found kneeling next to a dead body. A friend of mine named Kendra. She was my sister Slayer and she had her throat slit by a vampire in the school library. The police thought I did it, but then a recently arrested felon admitted to doing it so he could get leniency for his other crimes."

Angel was confused about who Kendra was. "Wait a second, I was under the impression that there's only one Slayer. At least, that's what Oz told me. Who's Kendra?"

"It was an accident, really. End of sophomore year, I died. Drowned and drained by a vampire known as the Master. My friend Xander found me and revived me. But because I had died, even if only for a couple minutes, a new Slayer was called. When one Slayer dies, another is activated," explained Buffy.

"Okay, I get it now."

"So, most of the guys in town think I'm homicidal, even though I was never found guilty."

"I don't think you are homicidal."

She grinned. "Then you're in the minority. A few days ago, I was in total self-pity mode. Like: 'Here I am, in my senior year of high school, no date for Homecoming this year and, in fact, I haven't had a date since the end of June.' Yep, I've scared them all away. And the worst part of it is that I don't even care."

"You don't have a date for Homecoming?"

"Nope. For the first time in three years. But it's okay. I'm cool with going stag."

He came up with an idea. "When is it?"

"Next Saturday."

"How would you like me to be your date? That way you wouldn't be breaking any kind of tradition," Angel offered.

Buffy looked at him as if he'd just admitted to her that he was an alien from another planet. Angel wanted to go to Homecoming with her? It was unreal. "You're kidding, right?"

"Perfectly, one hundred percent serious. What do you say? Will you let me escort you?"

"You don't have to do this, Angel. Really. I don't mind going alone and I don't need a pity date."

"I'm not doing this out of pity. I'd really like to take you. I think we'd have a great time together. Besides, I've got a suit at home hanging in my closet that's just dying to be worn again."

Buffy raised her eyebrows. "I don't know what to say."

"How about yes? You might bruise my fragile ego if you say no."

She smirked. "I get the feeling that your ego is hardly fragile or easily bruised. But I'll go with you. I just hope you know what you are getting yourself into."

"Hmm.a date with a pretty girl, a chance to get dressed up and being able to see all my old teachers again. Sounds like a good time to me."

"Fine, but I warned you." Glancing at her watch, she noted the lateness of the time. "It's getting late and I should start heading home before Mom has a stroke. Thanks for everything. The game, dinner and listening to me complain," Buffy said to him.

Angel followed her to the door. "Would you like me to walk you home?"

"It's safer for you to stay in. I know how to handle myself out there. I don't want to see you get hurt."

"It isn't very gentlemanly of me to let you walk home alone. A real man walks a girl home after they've gone out."

She shook her head. "No, Angel. It's not safe for you and you don't know how to protect yourself from vampires and demons."

"Then teach me. I don't want to cower in my room after sunset like a scared little boy. I want to be able to kill them," he said. "Like you."

"You want me to show you how to kill vampires?"

"Yes. I'm pretty strong. Maybe not as strong as you, but I can hold my own in a fight. All you have to do is show me where exactly to put the stake."

"You really want to do this? All right. Let's see, tomorrow's Saturday. I usually train with Giles from twelve until two, so how about tomorrow at three?"

"Works for me. I can arrange to get the whole gym to ourselves."

"Do you guys have a wrestling room here? With mats? That'll work better, in case you or I get hurt," Buffy suggested.

"No problem, I'll talk to Coach Parker. See you tomorrow, then."

"Tomorrow it is."

***

9

Something was plaguing his Slayer's thoughts, Giles could tell. She wasn't concentrating as she usually did and it showed in her training. Buffy was making careless mistakes that could cost her her life if she had been fighting a foe instead of him.

"Buffy, stop," her Watcher ordered.

"What is it? Is something wrong?" she wanted to know.

"I believe so, yes. You're being very careless today. You're missing punches and jabs that you could easily throw and block and you are not using your full potential today. Something is obviously distracting you, and it's taking you off your game. Care to share with me what it is?"

Buffy shook her head. "Nothing's distracting me, Giles. I'm just having an off day. It happens to everyone."

"Is it something to do with your mother? Is she giving you a hard time?"

"No, it's not Mom."

"Well, something's bothering you, I can tell. If you tell me, perhaps it'll make things better," offered Giles.

"I've just been thinking."

"About what, may I ask?"

"Just a guy I met the other night. I saved him from a vampire and he's been on my mind ever since. We went out last night and he asked me to Homecoming."

Giles raised his eyebrows. "Well, that's good, isn't it? This young man is interested in you quite obviously."

"It's not like that. Neither Angel nor I want a relationship right now; we're just friends, which is great. But what's weighing on my mind is something he asked me last night aside from the Homecoming thing."

"What would that be?"

"He asked me to train him, to show him how to defend himself against vampires. And I'm supposed to do that later today. What's bothering me is that I don't know what to do, where to start. I don't think I'll be a very good teacher."

"You'll do great, Buffy," Giles disagreed. "You did wonders with Xander and Willow. They were barely able to fight off a regular human before you came along, and look at them now. They're stronger than they were before and capable of defeating vampires and weaker demons. I have every confidence that you will do an excellent job with this Angel fellow."

Buffy smiled. "I wish I had your confidence."

***

At three o'clock, Buffy walked into the wrestling room in UC Sunnydale's Alumni Gymnasium. She found it quite impressive, wall to wall mats on the floor as well as on the walls. Off in the farthest corner from the entrance was a weight set, a rowing machine, a set of rings and a punching bag.

Angel had been there for twenty minutes already, working up a sweat on some of the machinery there.

When Buffy arrived, he was too busy working out some of his frustrations on the punching bag to see her come in.

She watched him for a minute. Perspiration seeped through his white t-shirt, making it cling to his back. He also wore a pair of black wind pants and sneakers. Buffy noticed the music Angel chose to work out to; definitely not what she would have expected him to choose. 'Who knew he listened to Billy Joel? I would have pictured him as a Pearl Jam or Green Day person. Oh well. You learn something new everyday.'

Deciding to announce her presence, Buffy said, "Piano Man.' Now that's music to work out to."

Angel immediately turned around, stunned by the sound of her voice. He smiled when he saw Buffy. "Hey, I didn't hear you come in."

"Apparently not. Do you always work out to the music of Billy Joel?" she teased.

He reached over, turning the CD Player off. "Not always. Depends on my mood. Today it's Billy Joel. Had you come here yesterday, you'd have heard The Beatles and Barry Manilow."

She laughed. "The Beatles I understand. But Manilow? That I don't get."

"My mom used to sing it all the time when I was younger. I remember she would walk around the house singing 'Mandy' or 'Copacabana.' Brandon and I always laughed at her, but it stuck. The man can sing and those songs are so pretty. Well, 'Mandy' is anyway."

"All right, whatever. I'll have to take your word for it. Sorry, I just can't picture you listening to Barry Manilow."

"Looks can be deceiving."

She wholeheartedly agreed. "You don't have to tell me that. Are you ready for your crash course in vampire slaying?"

"Yep. I'm ready, willing and able. The gym is ours for the next two hours. That's enough time, isn't it?" he asked.

"Oh yeah. Imean, you don't really need to know everything. I was only planning to show you the basics of what you need to know."

Carrying her weapons bag to the center of the room, Buffy placed it on the mat and pulled out a wooden stake. Angel stood a foot away from her, pulling off his sweaty t-shirt, throwing it to the floor where his gym bag sat. Her breath caught for a second at the sight of his bare chest. His well-defined muscles, slick with sweat, glistened in the light. Pulling herself out of her reverie, Buffy began the lesson.

"There's four major ways to kill a vampire. Sunlight, fire, decapitation and staking. All I'm going to show you is staking. Frankly, unless you're in some all out life or death battle with a vamp, all you need to know is how to stake 'em. If you're cornered by one in a dark alley, sunlight is not going to help you whatsoever. You can pretty much rule out fire right away and unless you plan on walking the streets of Sunnydale with a sword in your hand, the chances of decapitation are slim to none.

"That only leaves staking. It's simple, really. Grip the stake in your hand and shove it through the vampire's heart. The vamp will explode into dust and then it's all gone. It's not always easy, you often have to weaken your opponent, but it's practical. No fuss, no muss," Buffy explained. She handed him the stake. "This is for you."

"Thanks. Now bear with me, I want to make sure I get this right. I stick this thing into it's heart and it turns to dust?"

She nodded. "That's pretty much it."

"Okay. I have one problem, though. I suck at anatomy, and I barely passed Biology. Which side is the heart on?"

"The right side." She took his left hand in hers, placing it over her right breast so he could feel her heart beat through her black tank top. "Feel it?"

Angel felt all his blood rush to his face when Buffy put his hand on her. Nothing sexual had been intended on her part - it was a completely innocent act - but he couldn't stop himself from blushing, or from feeling something. The temptation of her body was almost too great, and he had to fight it. He was so close, he could practically cup her breast in his hand, but instead, Angel removed it. He felt as if he were fighting a never-ending, losing battle against his sexual urges. 'Remove the temptation,' he reminded himself. 'I don't want to lose her trust in me.'

"I got it," he told her, looking away, embarrassed.

"Don't worry, I missed the first few times. But after a while, it's like second nature." She took the stake out of his hand and held the sharp end against his heart. "It goes right here."

"Okay."

"Wanna do some practicing? We can role play," Buffy suggested.

Angel was taken aback for a moment. "Excuse me? Role playing?" 'Dammit, get your mind out of the gutter.'

"Uh-huh. I'll pretend to be a vampire and you have to fight me off. If you get that stake to my heart, you win. I'll try not to hurt you."

"Don't worry about me. Give it all you got."

Buffy raised her eyebrows. "You asked for it," she warned.

Circling around him, she was like a wild animal stalking its prey. Buffy came up behind Angel, surprising him by wrapping her right arm tightly around his neck, forcing his head to the right, baring his neck to her bite. With her left hand on his upper arm, Buffy reached up, pretending to go in for the kill.

Angel brought his free arm back, grabbing her by the back of the neck and forcing her grip from him. He held her by the throat, pushing Buffy away from him with all his might. She stumbled backward, but regained her balance and ran at him. Kicking his legs out from under him, Buffy smirked when he fell to the mat on his back. Ready to claim her victory over him, she got down on her knees, straddling him about the waist, pinning his arms to the mat. "I win."

Angel lifted his knee, hitting her in the thigh. Her leg gave out and he took the opportunity to flip them over so that he was on top. Placing the stake to her chest with one hand and holding her arms above her head with the other, he grinned. "Looks like I win."

She looked up at him, seeing something strange in his eyes. Power or dominance, she wasn't sure which. "Good job," she complimented. "Think you can let me up now?"

"Sure. Sorry." He climbed off Buffy, letting her sit up once again. The position they had been in took him back in time to situations he'd rather forget. Angel was glad to be a few feet away from her. It gave him breathing room to compose himself without any kind of embarrassment on either of their parts.

"You're really getting the hang of it," she said to him. "You'll be staking real vampires in no time flat."

"I'm hoping I'll never have to," he admitted.

"In Sunnydale, you never know. Do you want to train some more? Work on some more moves?"

He shook his head, afraid he'd find himself in another situation he'd be unable to control. "I think I'll be okay. Thanks for the offer, though."

"No problem."

"Are you doing anything tonight? Do you want to catch a movie or something?" Angel asked her.

Buffy bit her lip. "I can't. After dinner, I'm supposed to go look for a Homecoming dress with Willow. And then I'm spending the night at her house. Girls night out."

"Oh, okay," Angel replied, trying not to show his disappointment. He didn't want to spend another Saturday night by himself. "Maybe some other time."

"Definitely," she promised.

***

10

"Do you and Buffy want to ride in the limo with me and Willow? There's enough room for another couple," Oz asked the morning of the Homecoming dance. The two cousins sat in Oz's living room watching television.

Angel shook his head. "No thanks. I think I'm going to drive us in my mom's car if she lets me borrow it. I've got plans for the two of us tonight. It requires a bit of privacy."

Oz looked suspiciously at his cousin. "You're not planning on doing something stupid, are you?"

"God, no!"

"But you said you and Buffy will need privacy. I automatically assumed you needed privacy for something of the intimate sort."

"I'm not an idiot, Oz. My plans for tonight don't include any exchange of bodily fluids. Besides, Buffy would beat the crap out of me if I tried and truth be told, I don't want to be on her bad side. Actually, I wanted to talk to her in private."

"About what?"

Angel paused. "Everything. Buffy and I have gotten to be really good friends in the past week. I've told her things I haven't even told you yet. Personal and very private things. And it's about time she knows it all. I trust in our friendship one hundred and ten percent. And I trust that she will be able to understand."

He nodded. "I hope for your sake she does."

"I can't lose her friendship. I just can't. I can't lose *her.*"

"Are you sure it's only her friendship you can't stand to lose?" Oz questioned.

"What do you mean?" Angel asked, narrowing his brown eyes.

"Just that Buffy's a really great girl, perfect for you, in fact. Have you ever thought about maybe dating her?"

Angel shook his head. "Dating? No way. The last thing on my mind is a serious relationship. I don't want a girlfriend."

"You've never thought about her that way? Not even once?" Oz probed.

He blushed. "Okay, so maybe once or twice. But only because we were training together. It was only a natural reaction to being in such close proximity to a woman after nearly ten months. I got really caught up in the moment and could have easily lost control of myself. But Buffy and I as anything more than friends is not very likely."

"Whatever you say," he replied, unconvinced of his cousin's words.

***

"Angel! My lord!" his mother exclaimed when she opened the front door, seeing her youngest son standing on the other side.

"Hi, Mom," he greeted with a genuine smile. While Angel may have had his differences with his father, he still loved and cared very deeply about his mother. "How have you been? Good, I hope."

"I'm very good. You get inside this house right now, young man. Sit yourself down and I'll make you something to eat."

Angel stepped inside, looking around. Nothing had changed since the previous December when he'd left for school. His childhood home still looked the same. "Is Dad home?"

"In the bedroom watching a golf tournament," Mrs. Osborne said. "Do you want something to eat?"

"No, I'm fine. I only stopped by to pick up some stuff and ask if I could borrow the car tonight."

"Well, none of that is going to happen until you have a seat and tell me how you've been doing. It's been so long since you've come by or written or even called."

Angel frowned. "Things got kind of hectic at school last semester. A lot was going on and I didn't have much time."

"You didn't come home for your summer vacation like you usually do."

"I know." After everything that happened, Angel spent his summer driving around the country trying to clear his head, hoping to find himself somewhere along the way. "And I'm sorry. A bunch of us guys decided to spend the summer months checking out the country."

"Did you have a good time?"

"I guess so."

"When did you get back?" she wanted to know.

"Almost two weeks ago."

Mrs. Osborne shook her head. "And this is the first time you've come by to see your father and I? Angel, I can't believe you. It's not like you to be so insensitive."

"I'm sorry," he apologized. "Between moving all my stuff into the dorms and schoolwork, this is the first chance I've had to come by."

Unbeknownst to Angel and his mother, Mr. Osborne entered the room. "I still don't understand why you didn't stay at Notre Dame. You were receiving an Ivy League education," he said, letting his family know of his presence.

Angel didn't even bother to say hello to his father. "I didn't like it there."

"It's a much better school than UC Sunnydale."

He stood up. "Look, I didn't come here to argue with you about my choice of colleges. All I want is to find my suit and borrow the car for the night."

"What do you need them for?" Mr. Osborne asked.

"I'm going to the Homecoming dance at the high school. And I'd like to borrow the car so I can pick up my date."

Mrs. Osborne grinned. "Date? What's your girlfriend's name?"

"She's not my girlfriend, Mom. She's just a friend. And her name is Buffy. Buffy Summers."

Mr. Osborne squinted his eyes. "I know that name. Isn't she the girl they arrested back in May for murdering that foreign girl? The one from the Caribbean." He laughed. "Great choice in women, son. You always could pick the winners."

"All charges were dropped. She didn't do it."

"You have to bring her to meet us," Mrs. Osborne requested. "I want to meet the little girl who captured my baby's heart when so many other girls couldn't."

Angel sighed. "Mom."

"Joanne, don't make a big deal out of this," her husband chastised. "Angel's never brought a girl home before, why should he start now?"

"Angel, you must bring her over before you go to the dance. I want to see the two of you all dressed up. You never bring your girlfriends home to meet us."

Mr. Osborne smirked. "That's because he's never had a girlfriend last more than two dates. I wouldn't get too attached to this one, Joanne. She won't last any longer than the other ones."

His father's comments were aggravating Angel. He wanted to get away from his father as quickly as possible. "Look, can I borrow the car or not?"

"Only if you promise to let us meet Buffy. Bring her by before you go tonight," his mother said.

"Fine." Angel got up and headed for his old bedroom in search of his suit and tie.

***

It was exactly seven when Angel knocked on the Summers' front door. He fidgeted nervously, holding onto the box containing Buffy's white corsage. The door opened thirty seconds later, revealing and older blonde woman, obviously Buffy's mother.

"Hi, you must be Angel," Mrs. Summers greeted, opening the door wider for him. She motioned for him to enter. "Buffy will be down in a minute. Please, feel free to sit."

He smiled. "Thank you, ma'am."

"I have to ask, what time will you be bringing my daughter home? The dance ends at eleven," she asked after she sat down in the reclining chair across from him.

"I was thinking around twelve or twelve-thirty, as long as it's okay with you."

She nodded. "That's fine. You'll have to pardon my rudeness, but Buffy is my only child and I worry about her."

"Over-protective is more like it," Buffy chimed in from the staircase.

Angel got up off the couch to see her. Words escaped him. "You look b-beautiful," he stuttered.

She smiled shyly, descending the stairs. Her dress was royal blue, falling to the floor with inch wide straps that wrapped around her neck, leaving her back completely bare. Her heels were strappy sandals of the exact same color. Buffy curled her hair into ringlets on the top of her head and applied very little makeup.

"Thank you. You look quite handsome yourself." Angel wore a pair of black trousers, a white button down shirt and a dark blue tie.

"This is for you," he said, opening the plastic box, taking out the wrist corsage.

"A white rose. My favorite. How did you know?" she wanted to know.

"Oz. He asked Willow for me." He placed it on her right wrist. "Ready to go?"

She nodded her head. "Off to meet your parents now? Why do I suddenly feel really nervous?"

"Mom insisted on meeting you. Don't worry, she doesn't bite."

"Okay, let's go."

***

"Mom, Dad, I'd like you to meet my friend Buffy," Angel introduced. "Buffy, these are my parents, David and Joanne Osborne."

"It's a pleasure to meet you. He's told me so much about you," Buffy said cordially.

Mr. Osborne rolled his eyes. "Wish I could say the same, but our son doesn't spend enough time with his parents to mention his new friends."

Buffy raised her eyebrows. 'Apparently Angel's dad isn't too friendly. I'll have to watch what I say around him. Don't want to offend him.'

Mrs. Osborne broke the uncomfortable silence that followed. "So, Buffy, you are still in high school? Do you go to Sunnydale?"

"Yes. I'm a senior this year."

"Underage, too, I bet," muttered Mr. Osborne.

Angel resisted the urge to shut his father up with his own fist. "She'll turn eighteen in January and she'll graduate in June."

"Have you decided where you'll be attending college in the fall, dear?"Buffy shook her head. "Not yet, I haven't even applied. I'll probably end up staying in Sunnydale and attending UC Sunnydale like Angel does."

"Yes, we're very proud of our boy."

His father snorted. "Sure we are. He should still be at Notre Dame if he had any sense whatsoever."

"David, stop it." Mrs. Osborne turned her attention back to Buffy. "Did you know that we named him Angel because his father and I thought we'd never be able to have another child after Brandon was born? He's our little miracle. Both of our boys are little angels. Only now, one's in heaven and the other is an angel's namesake."

Angel wanted out of the room once his mother started mentioning Brandon. It could be a long conversation that he really wasn't comfortable with.

"I'll be back in a second," he interrupted. "There's something I forgot in my bedroom."

Once he left the room, Mr. Osborne looked at Buffy. "You seem like a bright young girl with a level head on her shoulders."

"Thank you."

"And you're probably way too good for Angel. Do me and yourself a favor, Buffy."

"What's that, Mr. Osborne?" she asked curiously.

He waited a few seconds before starting. "Don't let my son charm his way into your bed. I don't want to see you end up as another one of his victims. Be careful."

She didn't quite know what to make of his comment. "I appreciate the warning."

As he was walking back to the living room, Angel was just in time to hear his father's words of warning. 'I'm going to kill him. He shouldn't have said that to Buffy, especially when he doesn't know what he's talking about.'

"Buffy, let's go," he said when he entered the room. "We'll be late."

"Okay. It was nice meeting the both of you."

"The same goes for me, Buffy. You must come back and visit us some other time. Perhaps for dinner one night this week with Angel," Mrs. Osborne invited.

She smiled at the invitation. "I will, thanks."

When they left the house, Angel stopped her halfway to the car. "Buffy, about what my father said back there."

"Don't worry about it. I know you and I trust you one hundred and ten percent."

Angel looked down and smiled at her. She'd used almost the exact same words he'd said to Oz earlier that morning. He knew right then and there the time was right to tell her. "I was hoping you'd say that. Come on, let's go to the dance and have some fun."

***

11

The gymnasium of Sunnydale High had been decorated by the Homecoming Committee in the school's colors. Maroon and white streamers adorned the ceiling from wall to wall and a large banner hung over the bleachers reading GO RAZORBACKS! HOMECOMING '98!

"Still using the same decorations from when I went here," commented Angel. "Principal Flutie must be trying to save money."

"Wow, you have been gone for a long time," Buffy said in reply. "Principal Flutie died back in April of last year. Snyder's the new principal."

"You're kidding, right? Snyder? He hates kids; the man is an impotent Nazi."

Buffy smiled, amused. "Sums it up."

"What happened to Flutie?" Angel wanted to know.

"A group of students were possessed by hyenas and they sort of ate him. I cringe just thinking about it."

"Possessed by hyenas? First vampires, now hyena possession? I guess Sunnydale really is different from other towns."

"You got that right. So, what do you want to do first?"

He shrugged. "Well, this is a dance. We could always.you know, dance."

"Alright."

On their way to the dance floor, they were stopped by Willow and Oz. "Hey, guys!" Willow called out, grabbing her boyfriend by the hand.

"Willow, hi!"

"You look great, Buffy," the redhead complimented. "I do so love that dress."

"Yours is great too. Oz, how's it going?"

Oz shook his head from side to side. "The usual. Hey, man," he acknowledged to his older cousin.

"Hey."

While the girls talked amongst themselves, Oz pulled Angel off to the side. "Did you tell her yet? How'd she react?"

"Haven't had a chance yet. I'm waiting until after the dance. Buffy already had the dubious honor of meeting my father. He took it upon himself to warn her about me. Luckily, she didn't care."

"Well, that's good. Look, if I know Buffy as well as I think I do, it'll come as a shock at first, but she will be okay with it. Just explain everything and give her time."

He nodded. "That's why I didn't want to spring it on her right off the bat. Buffy needed to trust me completely, and vice versa. But I'm ready. Come hell or high water, I'm telling her tonight," Angel vowed.

***

Buffy stood in front of the mirror in the ladies' room reapplying her makeup. The door opened and the sound of laughter filled the otherwise empty room. She glanced up momentarily, seeing Harmony Kendall's reflection in the mirror beside her.

"Buffy, I noticed you snagged yourself a date for tonight. Guess this makes you the flavor of the month, doesn't it?" Harmony said to her.

Buffy decided to simply ignore her classmate. She was having a good time with Angel and didn't need the aggravation from Harmony to ruin her night.

"And I just love that dress you're wearing," Harmony continued. "It really says something. What is the phrase I'm trying to think of? Oh yeah. It says 'Pet me, I'm a whore.' Is that really the message you want to be sending to Angel? 'Cause you don't need the dress to say it, he'll just treat you like a whore anyway."

"Mind your own business, Harmony."

"You know, he must really be moving down the social ladder to look for dates. I mean, he's moving through the loser contingent. I guess he's already had his way all the good ones. Why else would Angel being going out with you?"

"As if you know anything about it. We're just friends."

She laughed. "Is that the line he's using this time? It's new, I give him credit for that. And apparently it worked, 'cause here you are."

Buffy whirled on the snooty blonde girl. "Shut the hell up. One more word out of you about me and Angel and I will personally shove my fist so far down your throat you'll need a rectal exam to find it."

When Harmony didn't make any retorts, Buffy walked out of the bathroom, finding Angel by the punch bowl, looking at the couples dancing. He grinned when she reached his side.

"Back so soon? I thought women were supposed to spend hours in the bathroom," Angel commented.

Buffy shook her head. "Ran into someone I don't like, so I made it quick."

"Anyone I know?"

"Harmony Kendall. I think you might have gone out with her a few times based on what she said to me in there."

Angel nodded. "Only once," he answered in a small voice.

She realized that she's made a mistake in saying that. "Oh god, Angel, I'm so sorry. I put my foot in my mouth there. Really, I didn't mean anything by it."

"I know. Do you want to dance? It might take your mind off whatever she said to you."

"I'd love to."

// Listen as the wind blows
Across the great divide
Voices trapped in yearning, memories trapped in time
The night is my companion and solitude my guide
Would I spend forever here and not be satisfied? \\

Taking Buffy's hand in his, Angel led her to an empty space on the dance floor. She stood with her back to him, putting his arms around her waist. The song wasn't one she could really slow dance to, but it was too slow to fast dance. But perfect to dance seductively to. A slow, sultry dance.

'This should show Harmony just what's going on between me and Angel. Flavor of the month.ha!' she thought.

// And I would be the one to hold you down
Kiss you so hard I'll take your breath away
And after I'd wipe away the tears
Just close your eyes, dear \\

Angel could honestly say that he wasn't at all prepared for the way Buffy was dancing. It certainly couldn't be considered slow dancing; this was more along the lines of mating. Not that he minded all that much, it had been so long since he'd danced with a girl, or even had any kind of physical contact with one aside from her. And his body responded to it.

Buffy held his arms tighter around her, pressing her back against his chest, feeling his heart beat through the thin white shirt he wore. She moved her body down along his, keeping his hands in place so that her breasts just barely brushed against them.

"Are you having a good time?" she asked him.

Angel could barely answer her. "Y-yeah. Can I ask you what's up with the little mating ritual we're engaged in?"

"Trying to prove something to Harmony and her friends. Why, does it bother you?"

"Not at all." 'If only she knew how much it *wasn't* bothering me.' He only hoped that she didn't noticed how much it was turning him on to have her dance like that.

// Through this world I've stumbled
So many times betrayed
Trying to find an honest word to find the truth enslaved
You speak to me in riddles
And you speak to me in rhymes
My body aches to breathe your breath
Your words keep me alive \\

Harmony watched in disgust at the dance Buffy and Angel were sharing. "Has she no decency? Look at that display. Have you ever seen anything more disgusting?" she asked her friends.

"I don't know. He seems to be enjoying it," the brunette girl to her left observed. "Quite a bit, actually."

"And Buffy claims they're only friends. Ha! She'll be a member of the club by morning. Then she'll know exactly what he's like."

One of the girls laughed. "At the rate it's going between those two, probably a lot sooner than that."

// And I would be the one to hold you down
Kiss you so hard I'll take your breath away
And after I'd wipe away the tears
Just close your eyes, dear
Into this night I wander
It's morning that I dread
Another day of knowing of the path I fear to tread \\

"They look like they're enjoying themselves," Willow commented.

Oz nodded. "Wonder how long it's going to last, though. Especially with what's coming later."

"What's gonna happen later? Is something bad coming? Big old brewin' evil?"

"No. Remember all that stuff I told you about Angel?"

"Uh-huh."

"He's planning to tell her tonight. Like, everything. You think she'll take it okay?"

Willow gave him a half-smile. "Buffy will be fine. I know her. And if Angel's friendship means anything to her, which I know it does, Buffy will accept it. Everybody's got something to be ashamed of."

"Angel's afraid she won't accept it."

"Can you blame him?"

"Not really."

"We'll just have to wait and see."

"Will, could you see them as a couple?" Oz wanted to know.

She shrugged. "I don't know. You know Buffy's stance on dating. She's totally against it, considering her last few experiences. Why do you want to know?"

Oz looked at his cousin on the dance floor. The expression on his face said it all. "Just curious, that's all."

// Into the sea of waking dreams
I follow without pride
Nothing stands between us here
And I won't be denied
And I would be the one to hold you down
Kiss you so hard I'll take your breath away
And after I'd wipe away the tears
Just close your eyes. \\

Buffy turned around, wrapping her arms around his neck, rubbing her body against his. "What did you want to do when we leave?"

Angel placed his hands on her back, trying to keep himself from trembling. No other girl made him feel like that: alive, secure, nervous and needed all at the same time. As much as he didn't want to admit it, he was falling for the bright girl in his arms. His very own best friend.

So many possibilities floated through Angel's mind, but he stuck to his original game plan. "Wanna go to the park?"

"The park? Any reason in particular you want to go there?"

"Thought maybe we could just go there and talk. Unless there's something else you wanted to do."

She shook her head. "Nothing off the top of my head. But right now, I'm just enjoying this. Right here, right now. I'm perfectly happy."

***

Climbing out of Mrs. Osborne's car, Buffy took off her shoes. Walking through the park with three inch heels on wasn't going to be very comfortable. She'd rather walk across the grass in her stockinged feet. And in case they ran into anything supernatural, it would be easier to fight with her shoes off.

"What do you want to talk about, Angel? General stuff or something of the more specific kind?"

"Specific. I think we better sit down when tell you this."

She nodded her head. "Okay."

Angel led her to the merry-go-round fifty feet away. When they sat down, he turned to her, gazing into her question-filled green eyes. What he was about to tell her wasn't easy. "Buffy, there's something I need to tell you."

"What is it?"

"Remember how I said something happened to me back in Indiana? That it changed who I am?" he began.

"Yeah."

He closed his eyes. "I'm ready to tell you about it."

"And I'm ready to listen. Please, tell me."

"I.It's hard to say." Angel put his head in his hands. He had to find the right words to say, but couldn't seem to find them. But he had to say it, he needed to tell Buffy; it was time. The only thing he feared was that she'd hate him afterward.

"Angel?"

He took a deep breath before beginning. "Back at Notre Dame, there was a girl. I.she's dead. And it's all my fault. I killed her."

***

12

Buffy stared in shock at his admission. It was the last thing she expected to hear out of his mouth. "D-dead? You killed someone?" Part of her screamed to run away and never look back, get as far away from him as possible. But she couldn't. No, she owed it to Angel to listen to everything he had to say, no matter how bad it was. "How? Why?" Too many questions were floating through her mind. "When did it happen?"

Angel kept his head down, knowing that if he looked into Buffy's eyes, he wouldn't be able to finish his tale. "Last January. I had just gotten back from winter break two weeks earlier and I met a girl. Katharine Donovan, but everyone called her Katie. She'd transferred to Notre Dame that semester, she was so bright and smart and funny and beautiful. Tall, long brown hair with just a touch of red in it, the most piercing blue eyes I have ever seen, and the nicest person I'd ever met, until I met you. God, she was almost perfect. Too good for me, that's for sure.

"She and I had Chemistry together; we were lab partners. I was a complete idiot and had no idea what I was doing, but she knew it all. Katie helped me study for our first exam, she spent hours with me at the library. She quizzed me, went over facts and concepts I'd never be able to grasp on my own. By the time the test came around, I understood everything. With her help, I passed with flying colors.

"When we got our grades back, I offered to take her out to dinner and a movie as a thank you." Angel shook his head, wishing he could forget it all. "Katie should have said no. If she had, maybe she'd still be alive right now."

"You don't know that for a fact. You couldn't have known what was going to happen," Buffy chimed in. Even though she didn't know how Katie died, she was sure Angel didn't plan it.

He ran his left hand through his hair. "No, I do know it for a fact. I killed her. She had this wonderful future ahead of her and I ruined it. All because I couldn't control my hormones.

"Katie and I went back to my room to talk after the movie. Let me make this short, sweet and to the point: we slept together. That's what I did back then. Go out on a date and usually end up in bed with the girl. I didn't feel anything for her, no more or less than what I felt for the other girls who came before her. I was sick and twisted and perverted and manipulative; I didn't care who I hurt, just as long as I could get a little sex out of it."

Buffy stared at him. "You killed her with sex?"

He shook his head. "Not directly, but pretty close. Like I said, we had sex. She left after it, like they all did. Mostly because I asked her to, not because she wanted to. And Katie looked up at me with those big blue eyes of hers and I told her I'd call her. I never had any intention to, it was just what I said to them afterward. She thought it meant something; that I wanted to be with her.

"I didn't, of course. To me, it was just another conquest, another girl who managed to give me a happy for one night. The next day in Chemistry, she sat next to me and asked me if I wanted to do something that night. She wanted a relationship, but I didn't. When I told her that I wasn't interested in dating her, that it had only been the one night I wanted, Katie..Katie didn't take it too well at all. She started crying, saying she thought I was different from all those other guys out there. And she ran out of the classroom and I never saw her again. Alive, at least."

Angel took a deep breath before continuing. "The next day it was all over campus. Cops were everywhere, so were the reporters. It was a big story there. COLLEGE CO-ED KILLS SELF AFTER ONE NIGHT STAND REJECTION. Katie killed herself because I wasn't man enough to stick around in the morning. She slashed her wrists with a steak knife inside her dorm room. Before she did it, she left a note. Her roommate found it when she found Katie, and was considerate enough to tell me what it said. I THOUGHT HE LOVED ME. I WAS JUST A FOOL."

Buffy placed her hands on his leg. "That was not your fault, Angel. You didn't kill her, Katie did it to herself. Don't blame yourself for it."

His head shot up, revealing his bloodshot eyes and tear-stained cheeks. "How can I not?" he demanded. "She had everything going for her and I took it away with one simple, stupid action. I did kill her, because I drove her to it. Maybe I didn't hand her that knife or cut her wrists with it, but I sure as hell feel like I did. And everyone blamed me for her death.

"The guilt started to eat away at me. I wasn't much of a drinker, so I couldn't find any kind of comfort in alcohol or drugs or anything like that. So I threw myself into my schoolwork. Possibly fill the void that was left when she died. After my classes were over for the day, I'd lock myself in my dorm room and study for the rest of the night. Nobody cared that I was hurting, everyone at school treated me as if I had some kind of contagious disease or something like that. People shunned me. My friends abandoned me and the girls that used to flock around me disappeared. Even my own professors were indifferent towards me. I was like a social pariah.

"Halfway through the semester, the Dean of Students asked me to come to his office. Even though my name hadn't been mentioned in the papers and no charges were being brought against me, he knew it was me; that I was the one Katie wrote about in her note. He very politely asked me not to return to Notre Dame for the fall semester. Said that he himself would write me a glowing letter of recommendation to any other college as long as I did not return."

Buffy widened her eyes. "That's horrible of him to say. He kicked you out of school without having any proof of guilt on your part?"

He solemnly nodded. "Pretty much. But I took it as a wonderful opportunity. It was my chance to get away from it all, away from the guilt and all the people I hurt. I could start a new life where nobody knew who I was, where I could be me. I made a vow after Katie's death that I'd never use another girl in that way again. So far, I've kept that promise. I haven't slept with a single girl since that night in January."

"You could have gone to school anywhere," Buffy started. "Why come back to Sunnydale where nearly everyone here knows about your reputation? I thought you wanted to start a new life."

Angel looked up to the star-filled sky, as if waiting for a sign from God. "As appealing as it was to run away from it all, it would have been the coward's way out. I had to come back here to prove to everyone in Sunnydale that I'm not the same jerk I was when I left. I could make amends for the sins of my past by facing them every single day. Buffy, not a day goes by that I don't see some girl I hurt, a girl I used for my own sick purposes. And I think to myself, how much did I hurt her? Did I almost kill her like I killed Katie? How many other lives have I ruined?"

"You were young, you didn't know any better. It's obvious that you've seen the error of your ways and grew up because of it. You're a better person now. I don't know the old you, but I do know the new one. He's a nice, sweet guy. And you deserve a second chance. Everybody can change."

"I should be dead, not her. How can I be allowed to be this happy and content so soon after her death? Her life is over, but mine continues? How is that fair?" Angel questioned.

Buffy gazed into his eyes. "Maybe you've paid your dues and you deserve that happiness."

"No, I don't." He paused to collect himself. "I'll completely understand if, after hearing all this, you don't want to be seen with a killer." Angel hoped with all his heart and soul that Buffy wouldn't leave him like so many others had. He didn't know if he could handle more rejection.

"How can you say that?" she accused. "You're not a killer, not by a longshot. And of course I want to be around you. We're friends, remember?"

Friends. Deep inside, Angel knew he wanted more than friendship with her. She understood him like nobody ever had. He was beginning to feel love for her; it was something he'd never felt for a girl before. "You don't hate me?"

"No," she answered, shaking her head. "Like I'm one to judge. I have a pretty colorful past myself. If you can accept me - with burning down part of my old school and getting expelled and being accused of murder, along with the whole Slayer thing - then I can accept you. You're a great guy and I'm proud to be known as your friend. No matter what you've done in the past."

"That means so much to me. You're not just my friend, Buffy. You are my best friend."

She gave him a hug. "Good. Because you're my best friend, too."

***

13

"Did you and Angel have a good time at the dance last night?" Willow wanted to know the next afternoon while they had lunch at the coffee shop.

Buffy nodded. "I know I did and I'm pretty sure he did, too."

"What did you two do afterward?"

"We talked. A lot, actually. He really opened up to me."

"How much?"

"I think he's told me everything big I need to know about him. Apparently he went through hell in Indiana and knowing about it made me understand so much more about him. I see him in a completely different light now," Buffy told her.

Willow raised her eyebrows. "He told you about what happened?"

"Yeah. At least I think so. Why, what don't I know that I should?"

"You know about the incident with that Katie girl?"

She nodded. "Uh-huh. But I'd hardly call it an 'incident.' It was horrible, I feel so bad for him. Something like that doesn't deserve to happen to someone as nice as Angel. Or to anyone at all."

"It put things into perspective for him, I guess," commented Willow. "After Oz told me last week at the Bronze, I was ashamed of myself for judging him so harshly. And for what I said to you about staying away from him. I'm sorry. It was wrong of me to say that when I didn't have all the information."

"Don't worry about it, you were only looking out for my best interests and I understand that. You were just doing the best friend thing. Thanks for being such a good friend that way."

"Anytime. Can I ask you a question?"

"Shoot."

"Well, Oz asked me this last night while you and Angel were dancing. He wanted to know if I thought you two could be a couple."

Buffy sighed. "Will."

"No, just answer me. I know how you feel about dating, but come on. You've never even thought about it once?"

She shrugged her shoulders. "Maybe once. But I don't know. I don't have those kinds of feelings for him. Sure, Angel's a total hottie, but he's too good of a friend to risk anything with. I couldn't stand it if I lost his friendship with a possibly disastrous relationship. It would be like dating Xander; there's an ick factor involved somewhere that I don't want to have to deal with. Ugh."

"That dance you two were engaged in sure turned a lot of heads. It even had me wondering about it. I think that's what made Oz ask me that."

"Looking back on it, I wish I hadn't done it," Buffy admitted. "It was a stupid idea."

"Why did you, then?"

"To make Harmony jealous. She said I'd end up just like her when she went out with Angel. Used and abused and jaded. I guess I wanted to prove that I could do something really sexy and not land in bed with him."

Willow's eyes widened. "You didn't sleep with him, did you?"

"No! Remember what I said a minute ago about the ick factor? Not likely."

"Why do you regret the dance if it succeeded in making Harmony jealous? Wasn't that the whole point of it?"

"Because.I think it might have given him some ideas of his own. Not that he tried anything, he didn't. But it felt like Angel really enjoyed it. I mean, *really* enjoyed it."

She looked at Buffy curiously for a few seconds before letting her words sink in. "Oh! Are you serious?"

"At least I think so. I give him credit for not trying to.remedy the situation, shall we say. He kissed me on the cheek at the end of the night, but that's it. Complete and utter gentleman other than that. Almost makes me wonder if he had anything else in mind, though."

"Wow. Maybe he's got a thing for you."

Buffy shook her head. "Nah. I'm chalking it up to a natural guy reaction. Not like it's never happened to him before around me."

"It happened before?" Willow asked incredulously. "When?"

"Last Saturday when we were training. I pretended to be a vampire and he had to stake me. Angel flipped me to the ground and metaphorically staked me. But to stake me, he had to pin me to the ground with his own body. That's when I first noticed. I think he was kind of ashamed by it, because he backed away from me by a good three feet. I didn't want to bring it up and embarrass him, so I ignored it."

"Buffy, he likes you. I can tell."

"If he liked me, he'd say it. Angel's not the shy type. Besides, he said I'm his best friend. Most guys don't say that to a girl they want to date; it kind of discourages them. Not the ones I know, anyway."

Willow shrugged. "Okay. It was a shot in the dark, but I had to ask."

***

"I told you, Angel. Buffy doesn't hate you," Oz said.

"She might have if I'd told her sooner. Last night seemed like the best time to break it to her. And it turned out to be one of the best nights of my life," Angel told his cousin. "No pressure to be someone I wasn't. For the first time, I enjoyed the company of a woman without getting physical with her. Never in my life have I felt so good about myself. I'm comfortable being me, comfortable being in my own skin."

Oz smiled. "Buffy's really doing a number on your self-confidence, isn't she?"

"Big time. She makes me feel good about myself. I like myself now, where I didn't before. When she didn't run away or tell me to get away from her, I started to see how good of a friend she is. My best friend, just like you. The kind of person I can tell anything to, no matter how bad it is."

There was knock on Oz's bedroom door, and his mother entered. "Boys, would you like some sandwiches? I have a couple peanut butter and jellies downstairs in the kitchen calling out your name."

"Thanks for the offer, Aunt Beth, but I'm not very hungry," Angel declined.

"I had a big breakfast this morning."

"Alright. You know, I just got off the phone with your mother a little over an hour ago. She invited me over for dinner on Wednesday. A big family dinner to introduce us to your new girlfriend. I didn't know you were seeing someone, Angel," Mrs. Osborne said.

Angel let out a deep breath. "I'm not. I brought Buffy over to meet my parents last night and now Mom thinks she and I are dating. We're only friends, but she doesn't seem to be able to grasp the concept of it."

"Oh, okay. Thought I'd let you know we're going to be there."

"I appreciate the warning."

After his mother left, Oz turned to Angel. "But you wish you were dating Buffy."

"What?"

"Come on, admit it. I saw you last night; the look in your eyes and on your face during that dance. They said it all. Anyone looking at you could tell how much you like her."

"Buffy's my friend. That's all."

Oz nodded. "Sure. Just tell me how you really feel. I won't tell her, I swear."

"Like you 'didn't' tell Willow about that stuff at Notre Dame? If you were to tell her, who's to say she won't run off and tell Buffy that I'm beginning to fall in love with her?" Angel demanded.

"I knew it. You're in love with her."

"I didn't say that."

"You just did. Come on, I promise I won't tell Will anything."

Angel relented. "After I told Buffy, and she said she didn't care about my past, I saw her. I mean I really saw her for the first time. She looked different to me. Had that happened a year ago, I wouldn't have even cared; I would have taken her right then and there without a second thought to her feelings." He paused for a moment. "Yeah, I realized that I'm falling in love with her."

"Admitting it is the first step."

"Not like it's going to make a difference. I told her she's my best friend, and she said the same thing to me," Angel started. "Buffy doesn't want to date me. She just wants to be my friend."

"She doesn't want to date just any guy. She's been burned before and she is just being choosy. Don't get discouraged. Friendship leads to love all the time."

Angel shook his head. "I don't know. If Buffy only wants friendship, that's fine. I'd rather have her as a friend than not have her in my life at all. I can live with that as long as she's a part of my life in some way."

"You can't fight what you feel for her. Especially if it's love."

"Yes, I can. Watch me."

***

14

ONE MONTH LATER

'Je suis, Tu es, Il/Elle est.God, I'm never going to understand this. Why didn't I stick with Spanish? At least I understood that. I hate French,' Angel complained to himself. 'I'll give it ten more minutes. If I can't conjugate etre by then, I'm going back to my room and calling Buffy. See what she's up to.'

In the month that had passed since he admitted to his cousin his feelings for Buffy, Angel did not find it at all difficult to be around her. In fact, he welcomed her presence every single day. They met up at the Bronze almost every night, and they rented a movie every Friday to watch at her house. He simply enjoyed being around her, but couldn't ignore the pang of jealousy he felt whenever he saw Buffy talking to or dancing with another guy.

"Do you mind if I sit here?"

Angel was shaken out of his reverie by the soft voice across from him. Looking up, he saw an average-sized young woman with dark blonde hair holding several school books standing on the other side of the table.

"Go right ahead. Nobody's sitting there," he replied.

She smiled. "Thank you. It means a lot."

He shrugged his shoulders. "It's only a seat. No big deal."

"Yeah, I guess."

They studied in silence for twenty minutes, Angel deciding it was more important to learn vocabulary than to talk on the phone. Besides, he was finally beginning to understand it. The mere idea of comprehending French surprised him.

Out of the corner of his eye, he saw another figure approach the table. Inwardly, he groaned. 'What the hell is with this place today? It can't be so crowded that people can't find their own tables to sit at. Must they all sit at mine?'

"I've been wondering where you went," the figure said to the girl sitting across from Angel.

'Must be her boyfriend,' he thought.

"And I'm sure you have been looking everywhere to find me." She sighed. "Look, James, I'm studying for my Psychology test. Do you mind?"

James's eyes brightened. "Maybe I can help you, Robin. I've taken it before."

Angel tried his hardest not to laugh at James. The guy was coming on far too strong, and it was fairly obvious that Robin wasn't interested in him, just by the tone of her voice.

"No, thanks. Would you please leave now?"

"Maybe we can go get something to eat this weekend, maybe catch a movie. It might take your mind off all these tests you've been having lately," James offered.

"Just leave me alone. How many times do I have to tell you to stay away from me? I don't want to go out with you," Robin told him firmly. "No amount of time is going to change that."

He shook his head. "You can't mean that."

Angel had had it with him by that point. James was annoying him, and it was interrupting his studying. "She means it. Go away, little boy."

James glared at him, shooting daggers with his eyes. "Who the hell are you and since when do you make Robin's decisions?"

"Since I've been her boyfriend. Now go away before I throw you out on your ass," Angel threatened.

"You don't have a boyfriend, Robin," James said.

She nodded. "Yes, I do. And you don't want to piss him off."

Without a word, the young man walked away. Robin sighed with relief. "Thank you so much."

"I take it you know that guy."

"Unfortunately. He's been bugging me to go out with him all semester long. I keep saying no, but now he's turned all stalker boy on me. Following me around, calling me, leaving me notes, that kind of thing. I really appreciate you doing that for me. I just hope you scared him away for good."

Angel smiled. "I hope I did, too. But it was no problem at all. Glad to help you out."

"My name is Robin. Robin McNamara."

"Nice to meet you, Robin. I'm Angel Osborne."

"Your name sounds really familiar to me, but I don't know why."

"Well, I play football. Maybe you've seen my name in the paper or something," he suggested. "Sorry, I sound really arrogant."

"No, you don't." Robin snapped her fingers. "That's how I know you! You're the new quarterback who transferred from Notre Dame."

"That's me."

"Why would you ever come here?" she asked.

"My family is here. I've been gone for a while and I missed them. And my friends as well."

Robin seemed like a very nice girl to him. Friendly and easy to talk to; she reminded him of Buffy. They talked for over two hours about everything from school to movies and music. The two clicked, and Angel took it as a sign. Robin was just what he needed to keep his mind off his growing feelings for Buffy.

"How would you like to go to the Bronze with me tonight? I mean, if you're done studying for that Psychology test," Angel wanted to know.

Robin's face lit up like a Christmas tree. "I'd love to, Angel. Actually, I made up that story about having to study for the test to get rid of James."

"When and where should I pick you up?"

"Stevenson Hall at eight?"

"Great. Sounds like a date."

***

"Is Angel coming tonight?" Willow asked Buffy that night at the Bronze.

"I think he is, but he's usually here by now. It's after eight. But then again, he might have a test to study for. So he might not show."

Willow laughed. "And here I thought you had his entire schedule memorized. Geez, you two do everything together."

"No, we don't," Buffy disagreed.

"Uh-huh. When was the last time you did something without him?"

Buffy sighed. "Will, he's my best friend. Best friends do things together. You should know that."

"You know, people are starting to think you and Angel are a couple. You are out together almost every night."

"Let them think what they want. We're friends, that's it."

"I still say he likes you."

"You know, I can usually tell if a guy likes me, he sends out these vibes. Angel is vibe-free. The only reason you are saying that is because we spend a lot of time together and neither one of us is dating anyone at the moment. You're reading more into it than there is."

Willow glanced up, seeing Angel enter the club with a pretty blonde girl. It didn't escape her that their arms were linked together. "Speak for yourself, Buffy."

"What?" She looked to see where Willow was focusing her attention. It was Angel, with another girl. 'He had a date. That's.that's nice. Good. He needs to start getting out more.' But Buffy couldn't help but be slightly disappointed.

"Are you okay?" Willow wanted to know.

She nodded. "I'm fine. Angel's got a date. That's totally cool."

"Alright." But Willow wasn't convinced.

A minute later, Angel and Robin reached the table. "Hi, guys," he greeted.

"Hi, Angel," they both replied.

"I'd like to introduce you to Robin McNamara. Robin, this is Willow Rosenberg and my best friend Buffy Summers," Angel introduced them.

Robin smiled. "Nice to meet both of you. Especially you, Buffy. Angel has told me quite a lot about you."

"Really? Funny, he's never mentioned you before."

"We just met this afternoon at the library. He scared away a potential stalker and we hit it off immediately."

The four of them sat around the table for forty-five minutes, taking turns asking one another questions. They learned that Robin was a sophomore majoring in Psychology and lived in Portland, Oregon with her mother. As much as Buffy wanted to hate her, she couldn't. Robin brought the sparkles back to Angel's eyes, something Buffy had wanted to do herself.

'He really likes her,' she thought. 'Robin's nice and funny and smart and obviously makes Angel smile and laugh. I can't hate her for that. She's perfect for him; just what he needs. Then why do I want to kill her? Is it because I'm afraid he'll want to spend more time with her than with me, thus ruining our friendship? No, that's stupid. I'm being selfish. I should be happy for Angel. And I am.'

He leaned over toward Buffy. "What do you think of her?"

"I like her." To be truthful, she wasn't lying. Buffy could not think of a single reason to hate her. "I really do."

"You mean that? Really?"

"Yep. I've never seen you look so happy. I can tell Robin's the reason."

Angel put his arms around his best friend, relishing the feel of her in his arms. "That means a lot coming from you. I needed you to meet her, Buffy; I needed your opinion and your approval."

"Well, you have it. I like her. And I can tell she makes you happy."

"So far." 'No, Buffy. Only one person can make me happy. You. And I can't even tell you how I really feel.'

***

15

Robin turned to Angel when they arrived at the entrance to Stevenson Hall. "Thanks for taking me out tonight. I had a really good time."

He smiled. "It was my pleasure. I had a good time, too. It's been so long since I've been on a date with a girl. I'd almost forgotten how much fun it can be."

"Really? You strike me as the type of guy who goes out with a different girl every night."

"Nope. I've become quite the homebody since I returned to Sunnydale. The last date I went on was back in early February."

Robin's eyes widened. "Seriously? Wow, that's a long time."

"I figure it's time to stop wallowing in my self-pity and start getting out there in the dating field. Time to meet some new people."

"Your breakup with Buffy must have really hurt for you not to date for so long. But it's great to see how good friends you two still are."

Angel was taken aback for a moment. "I never dated Buffy. She's my best friend, she's never been my girlfriend."

"God, I'm such a jerk. There I go, putting my foot in my mouth again. I swear, it lives there. I thought you two were exes, but stayed friends after you broke up. Angel, I'm sorry. When you hugged her."

"No, it's okay, Robin. It's an easy mistake to make. She and I are as close as two people can be without dating."

"Is she part of the reason you came back here? You missed her?" Robin wanted to know.

He shook his head. "No. Believe it or not, I only met her a month ago. Oz and Willow tried to set us up, but we ended up becoming friends instead."

"You never thought about dating her?"

'Only every time I lay eyes on her,' Angel thought. "Some people are better off being friends." He gazed at her. "Why do you ask?"

"I don't know. Call it intuition or whatever you like, but a woman can tell when another woman's got a crush on a guy. I got that feeling from Buffy. She's got more than friendly feelings for you. At least that's the impression I got."

"No way, not Buffy. She doesn't think of me as anything more than a friend."

"Okay, maybe I'm reading more into it than there is. There seemed to be this closeness between you two, and the way she looked at you when we walked to the table.I don't know. I thought she was a little jealous."

Angel placed his hands on her shoulders. "Knowing Buffy as well as I think I do, I'm willing to bet she's just jealous because I've found someone and she hasn't. She's doesn't have a boyfriend and is probably lonely. We're together all the time and she never really talks about dating anyone."

"You could introduce her to some of your friends," suggested Robin.

"No!" he replied, a little too quickly. "The only guy friends I have are on the football team, and they're all pigs. I don't want to see her getting hurt by one of them. I'd never set her up with one of those jerks." 'Just keep telling yourself that. Maybe you'll start to believe it. Truth is, you want Buffy for yourself,' his mind told him. "She'll find someone. He's out there waiting for her."

She sighed. "Enough about her. Would you like to come up to my room? My roommate is gone for the night and we can talk and stuff."

It was the other 'stuff' that frightened Angel. "I - I don't think so, Robin."

"I don't bite. Are you afraid something's going to happen up there?"

"Actually, yes. I don't have the greatest track record when it comes to dating. Someone always ends up getting hurt and I don't want that to happen this time."

"You don't have to read me the warning label. I'm a big girl, Angel. I can take care of myself and I'm not naïve."

"Neither am I. But I refuse to see you get hurt, and I'm not going to sleep with you on the first date. I'm beyond that, despite what you might have heard."

Robin looked at him with curious eyes. "I haven't heard anything. But if you don't want to, I respect your decision."

"Thank you. I don't know you too well, but I'd really like to. Would you.would you go out with me again sometime?"

She nodded her head, grinning. "I'd love to."

"I'll give you a call this weekend and we'll work something out." Leaning down, he gave her a peck on the cheek. "Night, Robin."

"Good night."

Robin walked up to her room, opened the door and found her roommate, Shannon, sitting in front of the computer. "How was your date with the football player?" Shannon wanted to know.

"It was fun. I had a good time. And his name is Angel, by the way."

"Whatever. I take it he passed your test."

"With flying colors. I invited him up here, told him you were gone for the rest of the night, and he turned me down. This one's different, I think Angel's a keeper."

"You think?"

Robin shrugged. "Something's amiss, though. I met his best friend. She's really nice and all that, but I get this feeling that there's something going on between them. I don't know, maybe it's just me, but he seems to more than like her, if you get my drift."

"I get it. He's got a thing for her."

"That's how it seemed. Or they've both got a thing for each other and neither will admit it."

"What are you going to do?" Shannon asked.

She paused before answering. "Nothing. I am going to do absolutely nothing. In fact, I'm going out with him again this weekend. I think it means something if he'd rather go out with me than her. I'm taking it as a sign that whatever he feels for this Buffy girl is wrong and he knows it."

***

"Will, can I ask you something?" Buffy asked on their way home from the Bronze.

Willow nodded. "Of course you can. What is it?"

"What did you think of Robin?"

"I don't know. She was nice. I guess I like her, but I don't know her all that well."

"Does she seem like Angel's type to you?" Buffy questioned.

She shrugged in response. "You know him better than I do. But if I had to wager a guess, I'd say yes. It looked like Angel really enjoyed being with her." Willow caught the look on Buffy's face. "Oh my god, you're jealous."

"What? No way."

"No, I can see it all over your face. You are jealous of Robin because Angel's going out with her instead of you. Buffy, you can tell me. You two spend so much time with one another, it's pretty easy to fall for him."

A vampire jumped out of the bushes, growling at the two girls. Buffy whipped out a stake from the waistband of her jeans. "Not a good time." She plunged the stake into his heart without a moment's hesitation. It exploded into dust in seconds.

"I haven't fallen for him. I'm worried about him. The last thing I want to see is him hurting," Buffy told her.

"Are you sure that's all?"

Buffy sat down on a bench, followed in suit by Willow. Shaking her head in confusion, the Slayer answered. "I honestly don't know. Angel's like my brother, but sometimes, I can't help but wonder. I even had a dream once that he declared his love for me and we dropped to the floor and started ripping each other's clothes off. It scares me, Willow, to be having these kinds of thoughts about him.

"You know what, maybe I am jealous. Not because Angel asked Robin out, but because he can have any girl he wants and I get no one. Am I so repulsive that guys don't like me?"

Willow comforted her best friend by giving her a supportive hug. "Don't say that, Buffy. You are not repulsive."

"I am never going to find someone to grow old with. You and Oz and Angel and Xander will all grow old with somebody by your side. If I live that long, I'll be alone; an old maid at the rate things are going. I might as well go join a convent now."

"You won't be alone. We'll always be with you. Besides, you'll meet someone; who knows, he might be right under your nose and you don't even know it."

***

16

After spending the entire day Christmas shopping, Buffy and Angel sat down on the swing on her front porch. She smiled, saying, "I love the holiday season. All the houses are decorated, the stores are playing Christmas music, children sitting on Santa's lap asking for toys.makes me wish I was a kid all over again."

"If you wanted to sit on Santa's lap, you should have told me," Angel said with a laugh. "We could have had your picture taken and everything."

Buffy shook her head. "I'd have died before I let that happen. Talk about embarrassment. I so don't think so."

"Call me wacky, but I'm getting a mental picture of you in reindeer antlers."

She playfully swatted Angel across the chest. "Not on your life, buddy! I have a tough girl reputation to uphold."

"Oh yes. God forbid someone sees you," he teased.

"Exactly."

Out of the blue, Angel's lips were on hers, his arms wrapped around her back, holding her close to him. Buffy had no idea what brought it on, but couldn't stop herself from kissing him back. Her hands reached out for him, one on the back of his neck, the other cupping his right cheek.

Her eyes met his in a shocking glance once they'd broken the kiss. "What.why?" Buffy stuttered.

"I've been wanting to do that for months now," Angel admitted.

"You have? You wanted to kiss me?"

He nodded, and placed his first two fingers under her chin, raising it. "Yes. I won't deny it or fight how I feel anymore. It's eating me up inside, Buffy; it's festering. And I want to be fester-free."

"How you feel?" she asked, confused. "How do you feel?"

"I'm in love with you. With all my heart and soul; with everything I am and everything I want to be. God knows I don't deserve you; you're far too pure and good for me to ever be worthy of. But I can't stop how I feel. I can't stop myself from loving you."

Buffy took a deep breath and let Angel's words sink in. "You - you love me?"

He nodded. "I do. It was the last thing I expected to do, but I did. I fell in love with you. Buffy, I had to tell you, regardless of whether or not you feel the same. I just needed to get it out."

"I wish I knew what to say. It's such a shock. I never thought you'd say that to me."

"You don't have to say anything. I understand that you don't have the same feelings for me, but I could not keep it inside another minute."

"Angel, I love you, too."

***

"Buffy, wake up!"

She groaned, feeling herself being shook into wakefulness. 'Was I dreaming? God, it seemed so realistic. Like it was really happening; Angel telling me he loves me, and me saying it back.' "Why do I have to wake up? It's my day off," she whined. "Let me sleep, please."

"Because you have a phone call. I suggest you answer it," Mrs. Summer replied.

Buffy sat up, reaching for the cordless phone on her nightstand. "Hello?" she asked, groggily. She was still half-asleep, wishing she could go right back to sleep and back into her dream again, to find out how it ended.

"Hey, you," the voice on the other end of the line greeted. "I didn't wake you, did I?"

Angel. 'It's hard to even hear his voice after he said that stuff to me in my dream,' Buffy thought. 'It was just a dream, though. I have to remember that.' "Yeah, but that's okay. What's up?"

"I was wondering if you wanted to go to the mall with me today. I still have some last minute Christmas shopping left to do and I absolutely hate shopping alone. What do you say, will you come and keep me company?" asked Angel.

She didn't even need to think about it. "I'd love to."

In his dorm room, Angel grinned. He'd been spending most of his time with Robin; he felt like he was neglecting Buffy. Even though he really was trying to get over his feelings for her. "Great. Pick you up in an hour?"

"I'll be ready."

"See ya then. Bye!"

After hanging up the phone, Buffy jumped out of bed. Grabbing a pair of jeans and a gray sweater, she ran into the bathroom to take a shower.

***

"So, who do you have left to shop for?" Buffy asked Angel when they walked through the doors of the mall.

"Oz and Robin. Everyone else is done and wrapped."

Buffy smirked. "Even me?"

"Yes, including you. Actually, I already know what I'm getting for Oz. But I'm having trouble thinking up a gift for Robin. We've only been dating for two months and I haven't a clue. This whole dating thing is kind of new to me. And I was hoping you might be able to give me some ideas as to what I should get Robin as a present," Angel told her.

"Oh, I get it. You're just using me."

"No, I need a woman's perspective."

"Fine. What are her interests? Does she like to read? Who's her favorite author? What kind of music does Robin listen to?" she wanted to know.

Angel shook his head. "I was thinking about something more personal than a book or a CD."

"How much are you looking to spend?"

"One hundred dollars, maybe a little more."

"Why don't you get her a diamond ring," she muttered. "Frigging propose to her while you're at it."

He looked down at her curiously. "What, Buffy?" He hadn't quite heard what she said.

"Nothing. What about a watch or a bracelet or something? That's fairly personal."

"Good idea. Would you help me pick it out? You know what a girl would like better than I do."

"Sure."

They walked to the nearest jewelry store. Upon entering it, Angel glanced around at the selection. "I'm not leaving here without buying something for her," he vowed.

For five minutes they searched. Angel couldn't find anything he liked enough to buy for his girlfriend. Everything was either too expensive or *too* personal.

"Hey, Angel," Buffy called from the other end of the jewelry counter. "How about this?"

He made his way over to where she stood, pointing inside the glass case. She had found a gold necklace with an oval locket, decorated with a tiny diamond in the middle of the locket. "Buffy, that's beautiful. Robin would love it."

"You should get it for her, then. It's only ninety-nine dollars, plus tax," she said.

He quickly kissed her on the cheek. "Buffy, you're a genius. I don't know what I'd do without you. I'd be lost."

A salesclerk came up to them. "May I help you with something?" she asked.

"Yes, you may," Angel answered. "I'd like to purchase this locket for my girlfriend."

"Very well." Opening the glass casing, the clerk removed the necklace. "I must say, you have wonderful taste. Would you like to try it on, miss?" she asked Buffy.

Buffy shook her head. "Oh, no. I'm not his girlfriend."

"I'm so sorry. My mistake. Would you like to have it engraved? It's only twenty dollars extra and it'll take two days."

"No, thank you. I'm giving it to her tonight. Could you gift wrap it for me, though? I'm horrible at it and I want this gift to look really nice."

The clerk smiled. "Of course, sir."

While they waited for the necklace to be wrapped, Buffy asked, "So, when does Robin go home?"

"Tomorrow morning at eleven. I'm not going to see her again until January eleventh," he told her.

"Must be hard to be away from her for so long," she commented. "Are you two doing anything special tonight?"

"Sort of. I made reservations at Giorgio's for dinner at seven and then maybe we'll go for a walk or something. Nothing's written in stone yet, though. I want her last night in town to be special."

***

"Big plans tonight?" Shannon wanted to know as she packed her suitcases.

Robin shrugged her shoulders. "Maybe. Angel said he's taking me out for dinner and we're going to exchange presents. I can't wait to see what he got me."

"I bet it's nice. What about after dinner?"

"Don't know yet. What time does your flight leave tonight?"

"Six," Shannon said. "Are you in that much of a hurry to get rid of me? Will I be putting a crimp in your plans for tonight?"

"I just wanted to make sure that we'll have some privacy," Robin told her. "I'm going to make tonight a night to remember. For both me and Angel."

***

Go to Part 17