Disclaimer: Joss owns them.
Distribution: If you want it, take it, but ask me please?
Spoilers: Um, A little for IWRY, and even though I haven't actually seen the episode. Enemies I guess.
Summary: Uh, a sequel-type-thing for Ain't No Sunshine, Angel feels Buffy coming. He ponders.
Author's notes: It's not long after 2am. Parts of this may not make sense. I haven't slept in a while...
Author's notes2: Second in the Unnamed Trilogy. Angel's POV
Feedback: Please!!!!

I wandered around my apartment restlessly, picking up an object every few seconds, examining it, putting it down.

There was something in the air....

A familiar scent, a well-known tingle.

Buffy was in town.

I was sure of it.

I walked over to my bed, lying on it, willing sleep to come.

It was early in the morning, and the sun had yet to rise, but I dared not leave the apartment for fear that she would come and I would miss her.

The logical part of my brain told me that if it was important, she would wait.

The more lonely, desperate part didn't want to miss out on a second with her.

I sighed, rubbing a hand over my tired face.

Maybe she wasn't in town.

Maybe I was just imagining the distinct scent of vanilla and fresh ground coffee that wafted on the wind.

Maybe I was imagining the air around him whispering her name, filling my head with echoed murmurs.

Maybe I was imagining the pleasant tingle that spread through my body as it always did when she was close.

But I couldn't be imagining the unique feeling of just *knowing* that she was close by. It wasn't a feeling you could duplicate.

I jumped out of bed again, pacing back and forth like a caged tiger.

I growled under my non-breath, the anticipation of seeing her building in my gut.

I was nervous.

I didn't know how well I'd go with the self control thing this time around.

The last time, all it had taken to set me off was a touch of her hand....

I shook the memory off, knowing that it would do more to hinder than help my cause.

I sat down on an armchair, rubbing my forehead.

She had a boyfriend.

I realized that.

But she was mine.

I had marked her.

Possessive feelings rose within me, furious at this nameless, faceless boy who dared to take what was mine.

I could feel Angelus rising to the surface, whispering hateful threats inside my ear, urging me to hunt this boy down and make him pay.

I felt my fangs lower and my ridges protrude, and I instantly pushed them down, hating myself for what I was.

I ignored Angelus.

It's a lot harder than it sounds.

Especially when he was so intent on revenge.

Sometimes it took hours to silence him after I got mad.

Anger strengthened him, gave him the opportunity to break free.

Sometimes I let him.

But not this time.

I wasn't protecting anyone this time. This time it was jealousy. Pure and Simple. A burning, twisting anger residing in my chest.

I wondered, for a moment, if Buffy loved this boy.

I quickly pushed that thought away, unable to bear the idea of it.

Buffy whispering those words to someone else.....

I shivered, my imagination sending chills through my constantly icy body.

I walked over to my desk, taking a piece of sketching paper and a charcoal pencil, trying to take my mind off the entire situation.

I sat down, resting the sketch book on my knees and setting to work.

I drew her.

Always her.

I remembered sneaking into her room not long before I killed Jenny Calendar, sketching her sleeping form and leaving it there.

To taunt her.

Tease her.

Destroy her.

Before I lost my soul, I had shown Buffy a few sketches.

She had smiled happily, kissed me softly and wrapped her arms around me.

I guess she could see how much I loved her in those pictures. How much care I put into drawing every detail of her face perfectly.

It all changed when I got back from hell.

She no longer saw my sketches. The memories they'd bring back would be too much for her.

She no longer seemed sure of my love for her.

The Faith issue really threw her.

She had issues with Faith, I knew. Rivalries.

But the thought of me having feelings other than disgust or hatred for Faith...

It was impossible.

I'd never love anyone else. Ever. It just wasn't possible.

I'd live out my immortal life alone and die.

I cringed.

This was why I had left Buffy in the first place, I reminded myself.

My Immortality.

So that she could have a normal life.

So that she could be loved the way she should be.

So that she wasn't near *him*

My demon.

It all came full circle back to him.

Right now, I had to concentrate on controlling him.

When Buffy was close, it was a lot harder.

Go to the next story Her Way

Send feedback to Starla

Back to the Fanfiction Archive