Disclaimer: Owner of B/A, thy name is Joss
Rating: PG 13
Distribution: Go ahead; just send me the URL for your site
Feedback: *sigh* if you don't know by now.
Timeline: Five and a half years after "Into the Woods"
Song: "Walk this Earth Alone" Lauren Christy

As Buffy turned, she wondered what to do. She wondered whether or not she could make a break for it. Would he able to catch her? She really could fly on her feet, if she needed to.

"Don't try to run," he warned, and she slumped, facing the man she hadn't seen in over six years with a defiant glare.

He looked older for some reason. She couldn't put her finger on why. His eyes were ringed with purple, and his expression was one of weariness. His eyes traveled over her; over her rail thin figure, her white cotton dress, her mane of golden hair swept up in a messy twist. Flushing, she stared back at him.

"So, you found me," she remarked and he gazed into her eyes.

"Yes," he acknowledged.

"How long have you been involved in the search?" she asked, leaning against the counter. Her heart pounded madly. She wanted to run. She needed to get away.

"Since day one," he said, as if it should be obvious. "Giles called me right away."

"Oh," Buffy replied in a small voice. She didn't want to hear this. Already she felt sick at the sound of Giles' name. Poor Giles. *He must have been so worried* she thought, bowing her head.

Angel took a step forward and then stopped as her head shot up. "Buffy." he began gently. "Why did you do it?"

Sighing, she sat down on one of the stools by the counter and surveyed her ex-lover with something akin to detachment. "I had to get away, Angel. I don't know why. Everything was just so.you have no idea what I was going through. Riley left and my mother almost died, and Dawn wasn't really my sister and you." she paused and pressed a shaky hand to her stomach. "I don't want to talk about it. I don't want to go over things again. Past is past. It's dead."

"Okay," he accepted, but she knew he hadn't given up. "You're a difficult girl to track down."

"Did you hire an investigator?" she asked, and he shook his dark head, leaning against the wall.

"No. I am an investigator," he reminded her and she nodded distractedly.

"Oh right. Forgot."

"How long have you been in Venice?" he inquired and she whirled to stare at him.

"NO! You know what? Leave now! We're not going to start this.exchanging pleasantries. Being all polite and nice. You left my life over seven years ago. Stick to that."

Angel was silent for a moment, and then their eyes locked and she felt a quiver in the pit of her stomach. "You know I'm not going to leave you alone, Buffy. Your mother, your friends, everyone.they need to know where you are.you must see that."

"I don't care what they want!" she cried. "Did they ever worry about me? What I was going through? NO! They didn't." She wilted and slid off the stool, wringing the dish cloth with her hands. "I have to go. I have to work."

"Isn't the café closed?" he asked, and she looked outside at the waning sunlight, her face dull as she nodded.

"Yeah, but I have another job."

Outside. Waning sunlight. Sunlight. What?

"You.how did you get in here?" she pointed a finger at him. "The sun?? How did you protect yourself?"

Angel looked down at the floor, tense as he murmured, "I'm human, Buffy. I received a reward from the Powers that Be at the finale of the End of Days fight. My reward was humanity," he finished quietly and she stood stock still, absorbing the new shock to her already bruised system.

"Well.that's great. I mean, congratulations," she muttered, and drained the sink. "It must make you happy."

He shrugged and watched her movements through lidded eyes. "I pictured my humanity as.different, I guess."

She didn't even ask what he meant. She knew. He had pictured it with them, together, as a happy couple. Doing all the normal things that couples do. Didn't he get that she wasn't normal and never would be? That happiness eluded her at every roll of the dice? Didn't he understand that she was doomed? That she was scarred? Pressing a hand to her eyes, she wiped away the sudden burning tears and took off her apron, hanging it on the hook by the door.

"I really have to go," she informed him and he touched her shoulder briefly. The slight contact made her tremble, and her skin flooded with hot colour.

"I'll walk you," he offered, and she shrugged her slim shoulders with resignation. She could see he was determined.

Stepping out into the cooling air, she inhaled the sweet scent of Venice. Glancing at the canal off to her right, she began to walk down the Campos Stefano, ignoring Angel. As they strolled, the backs of their hands brushed every so often, and Buffy's mind became so muddled she could barely think. He shouldn't be here. Where she was. It was wrong.

Buffy had built such a firm existence by herself, that anyone from her past life scared her. This was her future he was stepping all over. This was her goddamn life. She didn't want it taken away from her. It was blissful, living in Italy. No restrictions, no patrolling, no rules, no ties. She could pick up and leave whenever she wanted. It was empty. There was silence in her life.

"Do you want to know how everyone is?" he asked, and she closed her eyes briefly, the thought of all her old friends sending a jolt of pain slicing through her insides.

"Sure."

"Willow and Tara are running the Magic Shop," he began and she cut in immediately.

"What about Giles?"

"He moved back to England when it became clear that you weren't coming back." Angel paused. "I think it just got too painful for him to stay in Sunnydale."

Buffy nodded, ignoring the lump in her throat. "Are Will and Tara still together then?"

"Well.yes, and no. Oz came back again. So they all sort of.live together now. A threesome kind of deal. I think Willow just couldn't choose again."

"Oh," Buffy said, a little surprised. "Huh. Whatever works for them, I guess. Well.continue."

"Xander and Anya got married," he told her and Buffy looked up at him for the first time since they started walking.

"Really? Never thought Xander would commit.and to her, of all people."

He smiled and then said,"Your mother is.well, she's doing a little better. She married again, Buffy."

"WHAT?" Buffy exclaimed, and stopped dead in her tracks. Angel nodded, saying quietly,

"Things were very hard for her.when you left. She was still weak.and had Dawn to take care of. His name is Mark Abrams. He's a great guy. A banker. And he makes your Mom happy. He's able to look after her and Dawn."

Buffy glanced down at the ground, her eyes studying the small grains of dirt that crept over the cobblestones. "Do they have.any kids?"

"No," he answered gently and she breathed inaudibly, relieved for reasons she didn't even want to start analysing. "Your mother.she's fine, you know, with Mark and Dawn.but she misses you so much, Buffy. She doesn't understand how you could just pick up and leave-"

"No one understands," she snapped and resumed walking, "No one could get it. I had to leave, Angel. I can't explain it. I just wanted to run. I don't even know if I was planning on staying away for a long time. But after a while, the thought of going back.it became alien."

"But you came back the last time."

Spinning to the side, her eyes spit fire at him. "How the hell did you find out about that? I certainly never told you!'

"Your friends told me.when you ran away this time. Giles mentioned that you might have gone to LA.again. Of course, I wanted to know what he meant by that, and they told me. Buffy.we've never talked about that-"

Burning bile swept up her throat and she choked it back. "And we're not going to. I don't want to talk about that, Angel." She dreamed about it enough. Her brain screamed about it enough. No need to put those feelings into words. Only in the blackest hours of the night had she allowed herself to weep over that. That moment when she had kissed his salty lips, and stuck a sword though his heart. No, that wasn't up for a conversation topic.

"Why didn't you to LA again?" he inquired quietly and she laughed without humour.

"Um, do I have stupid written across my forehead? You." faltering, she attempted to continue, "would have known I was there. I mean.wouldn't you have?"

"Yes," he confirmed. "The reason they called me first was because they wanted to know.if you had come to me. They thought.maybe you were so upset over Riley.you headed to LA to see me."

"Not likely," she sniffed and began to walk again, her brain whirling. Xander married.her mother married.Giles in England.Angel in Venice.

"That's what I said," he smiled slightly. "Have you been in Venice all this time?"

"No," she answered, and sighed. "New York City first, then London, Paris, Rome.and then, Venice. I hadn't planned on staying that long.but the place where I work nights.I get excellent tips.so, I've stayed."

"You never considered coming back to Sunnydale?" he asked softly and she reached out a hand to low window box, and trailed her fingers through the red roses, which grew with abandon and climbed up the stone wall lushly, adding a splash of colour to an otherwise dull building.

"No, I didn't. And I knew I wouldn't ever go back when I ran into a vampire in an ally in Paris. I beat him.but it just reminded me of why I could never go home again."

"Did you leave because of Riley?" he inquired in a blank tone. Ignoring him, she saw the flashing lights of the club where she worked and walked faster, entering the dimly lit bar, named Paradiso Perduto. Heading into the back room, she quickly grabbed the proper clothes from the locker she kept there. She hoped Angel hadn't stuck around. Her required waitressing outfit was a sleek black corseted dress, with a slim skirt, and white apron and fishnet stockings. Letting her hair down, she brushed it and watched the silken strands fall over her shoulders and back. Applying mascara and eye shadow in record time, she slicked some lip gloss on and took a quick second to glance in the mirror. She looked like a hooker. An expensive, very sultry, very sexy, hooker.

Slipping her feet into back stilettos, she walked out into the bar area and saw it was a busy night. She didn't see Angel anywhere and breathed a sigh of relief. Maybe he had gone back to his hotel, or something. Right after work, she was leaving. Maybe Spain would be her next destination.

The night spun by, and Buffy served more drinks and snacks than she could remember. Paradiso was a hit with the artsy community, and since it was live music night, everyone had come out.

At the end of her shift, she counted out her tips and was about to head back into the staff room when she felt a hand on he arm. "Vuoi ballare con me?"

Flushing, she glanced up into Angel's dark eyes and felt herself drown. He had just asked her to dance with him, and the world was falling away. Forgetting her resolve to leave, to give up on yet another city, to ignore him, she nodded.

"Yes, I will."

Just then the singer on stage began to sing an English song. Her voice was ghostly and it melted around each lyric as Angel took Buffy's hand and led her out onto the dance floor. Sighing, she went into his embrace and their bodies touched, and she was shocked at the heat of his.

~you're in the doors that keep revolving
the sirens that keep screaming
you're in the flashing of the headlights
the things that I'm believing ~

His arms held her close, the muscles underneath his flesh flexing as he gripped her tiny body and Buffy was at once tense and relaxed, as they swayed to the delicious melody.

~you're in the water that I'm drinking
the sound of 911
The walls that protect me
From the damage that you've done
In this world you are with me~

How could she be feeling this way? As if she was sinking into the past.as if she was feeling the future? His body was so strong, and it surrounded her. His scent filled her nostrils, and sent her reeling. It was all rushing inside her, as he murmured sweet utterances against her ear, and she felt her body melting into his.

~But I walk this earth alone
and all I've ever known
is you are right beside me
if I love you for a day
then blow my life away
Could I leave you behind me~

Angel. It had always come back to him. She hadn't even realized it until recently. Until now. Until this moment, as they danced together to a song that seemed to speak straight from her soul. Buffy had always wanted to deny what she felt for him. Had always been in such a hurry to move on. When he left.she had moved on. But she had never forgotten. His hands slid over her slender back, burning through her uniform, and she moved her fingers down his arms, felt the strength and power he still held. His lips were against her hair and she felt faint. Dizzily, she wondered whether this was such a good idea.dancing with him.

~You're in the crashing of the windows
the angels 'round the ceiling
you're in the fire in my belly
the fucked up way I'm feeling~

God, she had to get away. Struggling with him, she felt him cup her face and gaze into her eyes. "Buffy." he murmured, and it was Angel, and she couldn't resist. Their lips touched and she felt his cheek and the world was hazy. God.god.it was like taking a long drink of water after being denied it for years. So sweet.so dark.so simple and beautiful.this kiss.NO.her mind was screaming and she wrenched away, running out of the club and out into the starry Venetian night. The song mocked her as she left.

~You're in the warning on the table
the pills that disappear
the whines as I'm talking
the words you'll never hear
In this world you are with me~

I am desperately craving feedback! I gave you a B/A kiss.c'mon.send me loooove! *grin*

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