disclaimer: I do not own any of these characters Joss does. In this world Tara and Riley do not exist. The setting is after IWRY This is my first fan-fic so please be gentle but I would love feed back. I can be reached at: twinstar_dust@hotmail.com The * represents "the dream" Enjoy!

I remember, I was not suppose to. I know that's really strange but if you knew the world I belonged to, you wouldn't think so.

I'm the Chosen One, the being who was prophesied to fight the things that go bump in the night. I'm suppose to be a loner, aloof, and ridged with discipline which combined with my slayer powers I'm a force to be reckoned with. But I'm what they call "unique of the unique". My attitude towards everything goes on the border of sarcasm and I have a flair to travel my own path. I don't do anything by the handbook. For one, I have friends who help me with the tasks of evil vanquishing. They are not an ordinary bunch of guys either. They have their own quarks and mannerisms. Willow a quiet, bookish kind of girl and one of my best friends who is also new to the art of Wicca. Oz, Willow's boyfriend is a werewolf who has deadpan humour and straightforward thinking. Xander my other best friend has what you can only call his own sense of style but whatever he lacks he makes up in heart. Xander who's always a magnet for unorthodox female companionship, has a ex-revenge demon named Anya for a girlfriend. My watcher Giles is not only my mentor but my father figure as well. Spike, a vampire, who in the past was our enemy before he was de-fanged is the last of the group we have dubbed the Scooby gang. But the one monumental thing that makes me different, from all the other slayers of the past, would be my undying love for a vampire.

Now Angel is not just an ordinary vampire, he is cursed with a soul. (payback for all the pain and anguish he had committed over the years) The curse came with a condition, if he every experienced a moment of true happiness, he would lose his soul and become evil once again. On my seventeenth birthday was the day we crossed that condition. We consummated our love for each other and paid the price. Angelus, the evil one, came back with a vengeance. The only way to stop him and the destruction of the world was to bring him to hell. Moments before I stabbed him to close the portal, Willow re-cursed him and brought his soul back. I had no choice but to take my beloved's life, to bring back order to the world. I betrayed him with a kiss. I still can see the surprise look on his face when I had to plunge that sword into him. I will never forget. My duty to the calling of being a slayer was never as great and I didn't fail. Even the sacrifice of the love of my life didn't deter me from my destiny. I was lost after that. I had to get away to do some soul-searching on my own. I slowly came to terms with what I did and my life went back to the norm. Angel reappeared into my life after spending an equivalent of five hundred years in hell. He was changed by his experience, somewhat more broody and angst. After what seemed like an eternity of insecurities and guilt, we found each other again. We knew the consequences of our love for each other but we couldn't stop our feelings. Finally Angel decided (for my own good) to leave Sunnydale so that I could have a chance for a "normal" life. There was no discussion and in the end I just watched him walk away.

He lives now in Los Angeles, and with the help of a former classmate and Scooby friend Cordelia and a half-demon named Doyle, he helps the helpless with the disguise of a detective agency. We keep our distance and during the times we do interact it's very awkward and painful. I just want to run into his arms and never let go. But what is the use, we can never be together even with all the love we share for each other. I would think that after all the good we do and the sacrifices we both endure, that we would be rewarded with the one true thing that we both want. It seems so unfair and if I ever brood on the subject I get a melancholy feeling. Our friends around us, no matter how much they care, don't understand the bond that we have and the destiny we share.

I have been experiencing the same dream night after night recently. They seem so real that most of the time I do not want to wake up and have them disappear.

*****

I'm walking on a pier and the sunlight is caressing my cheek. I tuck my hair away from my eyes and all of a sudden Angel appears in front of me. We just stare at each other for what seem like eons and then he finally takes my hand in his. We cling to each other never wanting to let go. He takes me to his apartment where he explains that he's human. I slowly take my hand and place it on his chest and I feel the soft thumping of his heart. The rhythmic motion of his chest moving with every breath he draws, awes me.

I finally ask him how could this be and he starts explaining. He was fighting a Morah demon and he got hurt when he killed it. Both their bloods must of mixed, and due to the regenerative properties of the Morah's blood, it some how brought him back to life. They didn't know if the process was permanent so Doyle took Angel to see the Powers That Be (higher beings) who told him that he was human once more.

I couldn't express my joy, I just wanted to keep touching him to know that it was all real. Once we were in each others arms again we didn't want to let go. We promised each other to take it slow and sure but it seemed like forever since we had contact with each other. Our feelings were a bonfire that could not be put out, it took a life of its own and we couldn't stop. We ended up expressing our love in a fashion that was unavoidable. This time there were no consequences, no evil in the lurk, just passion. Much later I was in his arms feeling and hearing his heartbeat and it lulled me to blissful sleep.

While sleeping, Doyle informs Angel that the Morah demon was still alive and without any hesitation Angel gets ready to find and kill it. Doyle questions him stating that they should wake me up because I was the only one with powers. Angel shrugs and says that I look too peaceful and that he could do it all on his own. I wake up to an empty bed and the first thought was that it was all a dream. I look around and I'm in Angel's bed so I smile knowingly. I ask Cordelia for the whereabouts of Angel and I get angry when she tells me that Angel went to look for the demon all by himself. I run through the sewers and I finally catch up with him. He's taking a beating, not use to fighting without his vampire strength. I come to his aid and eventually kill the demon with a forceful blow. I take Angel's hand and we walk back to his apartment.

I didn't realize that Angel feels terrible that he wasn't able to pull his own weight. He was use to being the protector not the one that needed protecting. Angel goes back to the Powers that Be and asks them about the future. They tell him that the "end of days" is on the horizon and because he's human, he's not able to help me. The power of the one is not enough but together as warriors the two make a difference. At that moment Angel makes a decision that would effect not only his "life" but mine as well. He tells the Powers to turn him back into the un-dead. They grant him his wish but they warn him that the day will be turned back as if it never happened and he'll be the only one to remember. Angel paused just for a split second and nodded . It was better that I forgot this wonderful day versus the terrible consequences if he lets it be.

He tries to get back to me as quickly as possible. He wanted to make the best of the rest of the day we had together. This day would always be embedded in his heart and memory. He hoped that was enough, but deep inside he knew it wasn't. This, plus many other memories are going to be the crosses he was going to bear for eternity. When he got back to me at once I knew something was wrong. He tells me that we only have moments left until I forget about the whole day that he was human.

I have tears streaming down my face and when I look into his face it's a mirror of the anguish I feel.

How can he decide what is best for me, for us? I feel like I'm being torn into two. Our destinies have once again turned on us. We, the warriors of peace have been denied again our heart's fondest wish. The Fates are cruel to the ones that serve them best. The Powers must be laughing at us, lesser beings. No matter how hard we fight we are compelled to do the heroes' duty. I sob into his chest, which is tense with emotion. I will never forget, I promise to myself and to him that I'll always remember. With the very last ounce of my soul I'll always remember...

*****

I always wake up then and feel drained, like I've lived a million years. I place my hand on my face and I can feel the present of tears. How can all that be just a dream? But how can it be real? I can still imagine how Angel's beating heart would feel and the sound it would make. The rhythm of every breath he made was imprinted in me forever. The feel of warm lips on mine and his warm body enveloping me until we were one.

More tears slowly make a river down my face until I can't see straight and my chest feels like a boulder is on it. I try to shake the images away but they linger in my subconscious. I know deep in my heart and soul that it must of happened. I turn towards my night table and open the drawer. My fingers find what my heart is seeking. I look at the ring that Angel gave me long ago and then I clutch it to my heart. I suddenly feel at peace.

I know deep inside that we will find a way to each other, no matter how hard the path or obstacles in front of us are. Our hearts and souls are always seeking the other half of each other. The Fates and Powers be dammed. Destiny? Angel and I are each others destiny.

"Beloved, I will always remember and I'll wait until we meet again in the sun."

Go to the companion, Towards the Sun

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