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F E A T U R E D F I C O F T H E M O M E N T
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 S O M E P E O P L E N E E D S A V I N G S E R I E S B Y B R E P A R T S 1 - 3
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Part One
Buffy Summers walked into the small living room, finding her mom asleep on the couch, a half-filled bottle of whiskey next to her, her ashen face making her appear dead. But by the rising of her chest, it would be another day when her mother died. Her father was still asleep in the bed her parents shared and Buffy did not want to wake him up just to tell him that she was leaving out of fear that he would hit her again. Buffy shuddered. Grabbing her back pack, she hurried out of the house, closing the door behind her quietly, not bothering to lock it. Buffy tip-toed out of the yard to her small house, walking as fast as she could without running to her school, Sunnydale High. She was wearing a pair of worn jeans, baggy for her thin form, and a black t-shirt with sneakers. Her hair was pulled back and she wore no make up. This was how she dressed everyday, clothes that looked liked she lived nowhere and a somber face that begged for pity. There was a fading bruise underneath her left eye, barely visible only to those who looked for it. Her frail figure was too skinny, but she did eat, just not at home. She was lucky enough to have some money and she knew it, envying people at her school like Cordelia Chase and Harmony Kendall, who always mocked her and thought she was a disease. They were so beautiful and rich, it made Buffy want to cry at the sadness of her life. A tear silently slid down her cheek and Buffy let it slide down her neck, into the hollowness of her collarbone. What was the point in wiping it away? Buffy stared at the rocky, cracked ground that she walked on, wondering why she couldn’t change. She kicked a rock that was in her way, thinking about how she had gotten in trouble a couple of weeks ago. She had a reputation around the school of being rough. She had gotten into a fight with a group of loners because they were making fun of her. It wasn’t her fault she couldn’t keep her mouth shut. The apparent leader of the group had started it, the girl mouthing off at her. Buffy had gotten pissed and punched her, starting a fight in the middle of the school hall. Buffy had won, but had walked away with a bloody nose and a fat lip. That was fine because she had knocked the other girl out and had given her a nice big old bruised eye and a nice gash on her chin. After that, she had gone to the principal’s office, Snyder almost expelling her because it was her third fight that year. Buffy had shrugged, accepting the punishment. She had to stay after school for the next week, cleaning the school with the janitor. Buffy didn’t care, it happened all the time. When she had gotten home, she had found out that the principal had called her dad and he had gone ballistic. He had hit Buffy in the eye, giving her the black eye and mighty blow to her cheek. A red hand print had been left on her cheek and Buffy had spent the night in the yard, hating her father and hating her mother because all she did was sit there and watch, saying it was for her own good. When she had gone to school the next day, the only explanation she had was the fight the other day. The only people who knew the truth were her friends and the principal, but of course he would never do anything. Buffy looked up as she got closer to the school, saw all the people milling around the grass and sidewalks in front of the entrance. All the well dressed people and all the bad dressed people, which was where she thought she belonged. Buffy’s eyes scanned the areas around the people, looking for her friends. Instead, she found herself staring at a boy who was surrounded by a group of the popular people. She watched him as she slowly got closer to the school, wishing he would notice her, like she noticed him. But of course he wouldn’t notice her, he was going out with Cordelia, and that was enough to tell Buffy to back off. He was tall, had dark brown hair and to her, the most beautiful brown eyes she had ever seen. He always dressed well, compared to her clothes, and was known to be a jerk. But, she could see the sweetness, the gentle man he hid from everyone in his eyes. Buffy sighed. She knew it would be a cold day in hell when he first noticed her. Tearing her eyes away from her love interest, she looked to her right and saw Willow and Xander sitting under a tree on a stone bench. Buffy changed her direction, walking toward them. Willow Rosenberg looked up and saw her friend walking towards her and Xander. Willow waved her hand excitedly and waited for her approach. Buffy solemnly waved back, smiling slightly, feeling one whole hell of a lot luckier than most people to have them as friends. Xander Harris stood, his bag hanging off one of his shoulders. He was wearing black cargo pants and a white shirt with a red star on it. Willow had her bright red hair pulled back and was wearing a purple skirt with a colorful shirt. She had on pink pantyhose and black clogs. A smile was on both of their faces. “Hey, it’s the Buffster,” Xander said with a goofy grin on his face, mock punching her when she was close enough. Buffy smiled up at him shyly. Willow stood as well now, facing Buffy. “Hey, Buffy, what’s up?” Willow asked happily, staring at her friends sad appearance. It was Willow’s belief that it was her job to make her friends happy, or as happy as she could get in her situation. Buffy smiled. “Not much.” Willow smiled. Xander threw his arm around both of their shoulders, Willow fought to wrap her arms around his torso while Buffy had her hands stuffed in her baggy jeans. The bell rang. “I guess that’s our cue,” Buffy said, moving forward with Xander and Willow along with her. As they walked into the school entrance, none of them noticed the group of ‘popular’ people walk behind them.
“Hi, Angel,” Cordelia Chase chirped once she saw her boyfriend surrounded by all of their friends. Angel Roarke turned around at the sound of his girlfriend’s voice. He smiled and brought her to him, kissing her. “Hey, Cordy.” Cordelia smiled, leaning into the crook of his arm. She looked around, noticing Buffy standing on the outskirts of the students with her loser friends. She noticed what she was wearing. “My, God, does that girl have no fashion sense?” Angel looked down at her. “What? Who are you talking about?” Cordelia sighed, rolling her eyes. “That thing that passes for a girl. I swear, she has, like, no fashion sense. Look at what she’s wearing!” Angel laughed. “Why waste your time on her? She’s not worth it.” Cordelia smiled brightly. “You’re right. I mean, she’s like a bad dog or something. She just needs to be put to sleep. Like, remember the fight she had gotten into with that one girl, what was her name... Jennifer?” Angel chuckled, hearing the bell ring. He grabbed his girlfriend’s waist and began walking towards the entrance. She obligingly followed. “Yeah, I remember. They were really going at it. I was surprised Buffy had won at all. I mean, damn, look at Jennifer, all butch and shit. But Buffy kicked her ass. She has some mighty fine fighting skills. I wonder if her Dad teaches her.” Cordelia laughed as they walked into the school, looking at the blonde girl’s head from their point of view. “She probably gets it from him when he hits her.” Angel frowned slightly. “That sucks.” “Don’t pity her, I’m sure she deserves it.” Angel looked down at Cordelia, then shrugged, sparing a glance at the group as they passed them.
Buffy looked up as she saw Cordy and Angel pass. They were holding each other, surely to get in trouble with Snyder. Buffy turned to her locker, turning the dial that would open it. Willow was standing next to her, watching her. She saw the wistful look that passed her friend’s face. Xander had gone ahead to his locker already, leaving the girls to fend for themselves as students around them readied for class. “Don’t bother with him, Buffy. He’s not worth it. You know how big of a jerk he is... how’s your eye?” Buffy looked at Willow, sighing. “It’s fine. Healing. You know my dad. He got really pissed off about that fight and he took it out on me.” Buffy snorted. “The things I put up with.” Someone from behind her snorted as well. “Already in more trouble, Summers?” Buffy turned to see Jennifer Mara staring at her. Buffy rolled her eyes, turning back around. She caught a glance at Willow and saw a scared look on her face. Buffy smiled reassuringly. Xander suddenly appeared, ready to walk with them to home room. He stood next to his blonde friend, staring at Jennifer coldly. “You want another round, there, Mara?” Buffy mocked, rummaging around in her locker. She grabbed her back pack, dropping it to the ground and slammed her locker closed. Jennifer smiled cruelly. “You up to it? I hear that you get enough at home... think you could take it?” Buffy turned quickly, advancing on the large girl, the subject a sore one. Jennifer instantly backed off, but the cruel look didn’t leave her face. A small crowd had grown around them, including Angel and Cordy with their group. Buffy lifted her fist, only hearing the shouts of the students of “FIGHT!” But before she could hit the girl, a strong hand grabbed hers and held her back. Buffy threw her head around to see who was holding her back. It was Xander, and he had a warning look in his eyes. Her eyes switched to Willow, who looked extremely frightened. Buffy breathed out, relaxing her hand, and relaxing. Groans of disagreement came from the crowd and they tried to urge her on. It obviously worked for Jennifer because when Buffy turned around once again, Jennifer attacked, pushing her violently into her locker. Buffy hit her head hard, and she stumbled. Regaining her composure, she looked at Jennifer with fire in her eyes. Buffy once again advanced but this time Xander was more forth going. He grabbed her waist and picked her up off the ground, pushing through the crowd with a struggling and cursing Buffy in his arms. But Xander was stronger. Willow followed them. Xander continued to carry her through the hall until they reached their home room, ignoring the stares and catcalls of students as they passed. He set her down and Willow gripped hers and Buffy’s bag in her hands at the murderous look in her eyes. “Dammit, Xander! Why did you go and do that?!” Xander winced at her words. “Buffy! Do you really want to get in more trouble than you are? Jesus, I just saved your ass!” Buffy calmed down, breathing deeply. She looked down in the direction where they had just come. The crowd had gotten smaller and she saw Angel and Cordy coming towards them. Buffy turned away from them, lifting her hand to her forehead where she touched blood, hissing in pain when her dirty fingers touched the open wound. “Damn.” Willow looked at her. “C’mon, Buffy. You need to go to the nurse’s office. You look pretty bad.” Buffy glowered, glaring at Xander. “So would that bitch if Xander hadn’t dragged me off.” Xander glared back at her. “You’re lucky I-” “I know, Xander,” Buffy interrupted, holding her hand up to stop him. “And... thank you.” Buffy smiled up at him. He was about to answer when Cordelia passed them. “That’s a nice look for you, Buffy. Goes with the whole ‘I’m-a-slut’ picture.” Buffy almost growled, fighting the urge to cry at the disgusted look she got from the object of her affections. “Fuck off, princess.” Cordelia looked surprised and Angel smirked. Xander grimaced and said in a low voice, “Down girl.” Buffy sighed, turning to Willow and grabbing her bag. “Thanks, Will, for getting my bag.” Willow gave Buffy a shaky smile. “No problem.” Buffy turned from the room and began walking to the nurse’s office, getting weird looks from all of the students who walked by her. She ignored them.
Part Two
Buffy entered the nurse’s office, looking around for the woman who was to help her clean her cut. The nurse, Ms Hatchkins, was sitting at her desk in the corner, filling out a notebook. She was a large, middle aged woman who was the kindest to Buffy in the whole school, except for her friends and the librarian, Giles, and actually ignored the trouble she always got into. Buffy sighed, sitting down in the chair next to her desk, smiling at the lady when she looked up. “Buffy,” Ms Hatchkins said, frowning, “what happened to your head?” Buffy touched the large cut with her fingers timidly. “Jennifer pushed me into my locker.” Ms Hatchkins stood and reaching for gauze and some liquid in a bottle. She motioned for Buffy to stand, which she did, and lead her to the sink on the opposite side of the small room. “Did you two get into a fight again?” “No, Xander took me away from her before it got out of hand.” “Xander? You mean, Harris?” “Yeah. He grabbed me and carried me struggling all the way to home room.” Buffy was grinning. Ms Hatchkins chuckled. “That I can imagine.” Buffy smiled at her, hissing as she cleaned the cut. Once she was done, she taped it up with some gauze and washed her hands. She looked worried. “Buffy, there’s something I’ve noticed about you for the last couple of years that I’d like to ask you about.” Buffy saw the troubled look on her face and had a feeling she knew what is was about. “Shoot,” she said in a shaky, unsure tone. “I’ve noticed that you have repeatedly come to the school with a bruised eye, a cut, a red mark on your cheek, etc. I talked to Principal Snyder and he says I shouldn’t worry about it, but I do.” Buffy closed her eyes, sighing before opening them and eyeing her. “Look, Ms Hatchkins, it really isn’t anything you need to worry about.” Ms Hatchkins shook her head, once again motioning to Buffy to sit down. Buffy did, while the nurse sat at her desk. “Do your parents abuse you, Buffy?” Buffy forced a laugh, which turned into a sob. A tear slipped from her eye. “Look, I’d get into a lot of trouble if my dad found out that you were asking stuff like that.” Ms Hatchkins frowned. “Buffy, I-” Buffy looked down at her wrist lamely, pretending to look at a watch, which she lacked. “Oh, look at the time. I really have to get going. I don’t want to get into anymore trouble.” Buffy smiled. “Thanks for bandaging this up.” Buffy pointed to her bandaged cut, a little blood already showing through the white gauze. Ms Hatchkins smiled worriedly, nodding, watching as Buffy left her office.
Buffy sat slumped in her chair in her English class, her head resting on her pointer and middle fingers as she listened to the teacher talk about a project that she would be assigning the class. Willow sat next to her, taking notes eagerly about the requirements. Buffy sighed, thinking about how Willow could be so happy to sit in class and not get bored. Xander was sitting on her other side, asleep. It looked like he was about to fall out of his seat by the way he was slowly slipping. Angel Roarke sat behind her, diagonal from her seat, behind Willow. He was talking to his friend, William Richardson, nicknamed Spike because of his strange fascination with railroad spikes, who was sitting behind her. They were talking about something, but Buffy couldn’t hear because they were so quiet. Buffy took the pen on her desk, opening the notebook that sat on top of all her books. She found a blank page and began to doodle as best she could with her left hand. “Okay, now that I have talked you all into boredom, Xander being the best example...” Xander’s eyes popped open and his elbow slipped, making him stumble, almost fall out of his chair. The class laughed and Buffy chuckled, Willow looking at him with a scolding look. The teacher continued, “...it is time that I give you all your research buddies,” the teacher, Ms Murray, said, picking up a list that sat on her desk. “Now, I had the computer already choose the people you will be working with.” She looked down the list. “Okay, here we go... Willow Rosenberg and Xander Harris, William Richardson and Harmony Kendall...” Spike scoffed, turning around to look at the blonde who was sitting across the room next to Cordelia. A few chuckles rose from the class. “...Cordelia Chase and...” Cordelia was sitting in the back, her eyes closed and fingers crossed, silently wishing she was with her boyfriend. “...Jonathan Levenson.” Buffy smiled while Cordelia groaned. “Angel Roarke and Buffy Summers.” Buffy rolled her eyes, pretending to show her annoyance, but inside she was actually happy, ecstatic even. For two years she had had an eye on Angel Roarke. He was everything she dreamed of. Or so she thought. Even though he was a major dickwad, she imagined he could be nice, if he tried. “Percy West and...” Once the teacher had finished a couple of moments later, the entire class paired off, she sat down the list and looked back at her students. “Okay, I have saved the last five minutes to give you all a chance to get together with your partner. This project is due in a month. As you know, I want your presentation to be ten minutes long, no shorter nor longer, and I will allow you to choose who you want to do the project on. You’d be surprised how quickly those few minutes will actually go. Here is a page of your choices...” As Ms Murray passed out the papers, Buffy turned in her desk towards Angel, leaning her elbows on her knees. She missed the sympathetic look Willow sent her way as she passed to sit with Xander, who was now wide awake. Angel was turned around and talking to Cordelia as she completely ignored Jonathan, who was talking in a low, pathetic voice. It was way too easy to feel bad about the kid. Buffy cleared her throat loudly, capturing the attention of some of the other students. Angel turned his head around so he could see her. He just looked at her. Buffy rolled her eyes. “Well, what are we going to do for the project?” Angel shrugged. “I don’t care, you choose.” He turned back around. Buffy shook her head, chuckling. This was going to be fun, she thought sarcastically. She leaned forward and tapped his shoulder impatiently. He sighed dramatically and turned around in his seat fully, glaring at her. “What?” “You don’t think I’m going to do this whole project on my own, do you?” Buffy asked, her eyes narrowing. Angel rolled his eyes, picking up the paper in front of him. Cordelia was standing behind him in a huff, glaring at Buffy and listening to Jonathan as he hesitantly talked to her. Buffy flashed her a mocking smile. “Well, who do you want to do?” Angel asked, waving at the paper. Buffy picked the paper up, looking it over. “I don’t know... Emily Dickinson?” Angel nodded. “That’s fine.” “Alright. Do you-” Buffy was cut off by Angel turning around, once again capturing the attention of his girlfriend. Cordelia happily continued ignoring Jonathan. He started pouting. Buffy sighed in aggravation. “Hello?” she called. Angel turned again. “Yes?” he asked impatiently. “Look, we’re gonna have to do this some time or another. Why don’t we get it started and over with. Okay? Do you want to go to the library?” Angel shrugged, shaking his head casually. “Fine, I don’t care,” he said, clearly annoyed. Buffy attempted to smile. “Alright. I guess we’ll meet there after school?” “Yeah, that’s cool,” he replied, defeated, his tone wishing to be somewhere else other than there with her. Buffy felt her heart ache at the sound and glared at him, hurt that he wanted to get rid of her so quickly. “Alright,” she said, harshly. “Great, yeah, see ya then.” He had completely missed her harshness, yet managed to answer her with his own. Buffy sighed in aggravation, turning back around. Angel turned back around as well, rolling his eyes. What had he just done? He was going to be spending the whole afternoon with that bitch who dresses like a yeti. God, what did I get myself into? Cordelia was now officially ignoring Jonathan and every attempt he made to talk to her. As he looked at her beautifully sculptured face, he knew he would be out of that library in less than half an hour. Cordelia looked at her boyfriend. “So, who did you two choose?” “Emily Dickinson,” he said, not caring one damn bit. “Oh, are you going to do all the work since she can’t seem to do any herself?” Cordelia asked hotly. “Actually, she wanted to get started right away. I’m supposed to meet her after school at the library so we can research.” Cordelia gaped at him. “Are you serious? You actually agreed? Why?” Angel could only laugh. “To get it over with. Trust me, the less time I spend with her, the better.” Cordelia scoffed. “Yeah, right. Anyway, what time will you come and pick me up?” “Around seven or so. I’ll be out of that library as fast as I can, so I might come earlier just for some... personal time...” Cordelia smiled brightly and leaned in to kiss him. He pulled back after a minute. “Who are you and that loser researching?” She scrunched her nose, not caring. “I have no idea.” “C’mon, Cordy. Don’t make me wait up for you just because you’re with Jonathan.” “I’ll ask him,” Cordelia assured him, leaning forward. “Now, kiss me, again. I need to get my mind off this nightmare.” Angel obliged, pressing his lips to Cordelia’s. “Hey!” the teacher shouted to them, “what have I told you two about doing that?” They both glared at her. The bell rang, signaling the end of class. Buffy left with a heavier heart than before, having heard everything the two had said.
“So, you and Angel?...” Willow started, trying to look and sound thoughtful, but failing. “I’m so sorry you had to be paired with him,” she ended in a rush. Buffy forced a laugh, putting a mask over her pain. “It’s fine, Wills. I’m sure he’s not so bad. We’re going to research at the library after school.” Xander stopped, stopping them as well. “What? He actually agreed? He has something a kin to brains?” Buffy nodded, amused. “Why so harsh, Xander?” “Nothing.” Xander shook his head. “It’s just...I’m sure it’s only going to be you who is doing the work, of course.” “Xander, look who you’re talking to, I’m the bad ass of the school, she said with false bravado. “I could easily kick him in the balls or something if he piled all this crap on me.” “Are you sure he won’t try anything?” Xander asked, worried for his friend’s welfare. “Oh, please. I mean, look at me...” She waved to herself. “... I’m ugly. I highly doubt anything will happen. And, again, I can easily kick his ass.” “Buffy,” Willow scolded, “you’re not ugly. You just choose to... dress different.” Buffy chuckled. “Thanks for trying, Willow, but I am.” Xander wrapped his arm around her shoulders. “Don’t be so negative.” “Hey, you started this,” Buffy accused, slapping his arm playfully. “I did?” Buffy shook her head, laughing. “Whatever, Xander. Whatever.” “What?” he asked, following the two girls as they walked down the hall, spreading his arms out in question. “What did I say?”
Buffy walked into the library warily. She had just gotten in trouble with her last two teachers in front of all her classmates. It was horrible. It wasn’t her fault she didn’t do her homework. Maybe if her parents were a little more supportive... Don’t wanna go there, Buffy scolded herself, reminding herself, as she did daily, that it was a sore subject. Buffy felt a heavy tiredness course through her body and it was all she could do to not collapse to the floor from exhaustion. The last couple of weeks hadn’t been easy. She barely slept and now that the pressure of school was getting stronger, she needed to be at her best, or so she thought. Which she wasn’t. Looking up, she was hoping to see Angel sitting there, ready to get the project over with. But, as she suspected, he wasn’t. He was probably off with Cordelia, making out and doing God knows what. Buffy shook her head, knowing she hated thinking about Angel with somebody who wasn’t her. Even though it had been that way for a long time. It still hurt and her crush was still just as strong as it had been in the beginning. But what she did see was the librarian, sitting at the check out counter, looking over a book and grabbing a stamp, stamping the inside of the book cover with the inky mess to state that it had been returned. There were few books that ever got checked out and she guessed it was his only pleasure in his life. Walking to the counter, she stopped and smiled at him, feeling a fatherly love towards the older man. Rupert Giles had come to Sunnydale from London to replace the old librarian when she first came to this school as a sophmore from L.A. where her father hadn’t exactly been the prick he was now. And back then, she had even had friends and had been popular. Though she missed it, she knew she loved her friends that she had now more than anything in the world. Except for Angel... Buffy mentally slapped herself, wondering where that thought had come from. Giles had been the only one who had accepted her, like Ms Hatchkins. “Hey, Giles,” she said happily, grinning when he looked up, smiling as well. He closed the book and placed it on a rack behind him before turning back to her. He noticed the cut on her forehead and frowned. “What happened to your forehead, Buffy?” he asked, seeing the gauze had already gotten blood soaked. She tried to look up at her forehead, making her head hurt from the way her eyes were placed. He fought back a chuckle. Buffy shrugged carelessly, noticing the bloody piece of gauze. “Jennifer pushed me into my locker this morning. Luckily, before I kicked her ass, Xander stepped in and stopped it.” Buffy shrugged. “Looks pretty bad, huh?” Giles nodded. “Actually, it looks like you could use some more gauze. Hold on one moment while I find some and we’ll replace it.” He continued on, turning to his office where he kept his first aid kit. “What are doing here, Buffy? Research?” Buffy nodded, even though he couldn’t see her. “Yeah,” she yelled back, “Doing something for English. Actually, have you seen a guy come in? Tall, dark, and handsome type?” Buffy winced at her choice of words. Giles poked his head out, some books in his hand, still looking for the first aid kit. “No, I’m sorry, Buffy, no one has been in here since yesterday when Willow came to help me with the computer. Is he your research partner?” Buffy once again nodded as he disappeared. “Yeah, we have to research Emily Dickinson. Now that I think about it, do you have any books on her?” Giles re-appeared with a white box in his hand that had a large red plus sign on it. He nodded. “Why, yes. I have an extensive collection regarding Ms Dickinson.” Buffy beamed. “Cool, Giles. You’re the bestest.” He gave her a pointed look. She rolled her eyes as she watched him open the box and pull out some supplies. “So, who is this partner?” Giles asked, walking around the counter and motioning for her to sit down at the large, round conference table that sat in the middle of the library. Buffy obliged and watched as he pulled out some sterilization stuff. She winced as he pulled the gauze off her forehead and hissed when he applied the stinging liquid to it. To take her mind off things, she thought about the semi-pleasant question he had asked. “His name’s Angel Roarke. We’re in the same English class, hence the same project. The teacher paired us up.” Buffy bit her lip as he cleaned the dried blood off her forehead. Giles looked down at her, placing the bloodied cotton ball on the table and grabbing a bandage. He peeled the wrapper back. “You sound somewhat fond of him, yes?” Buffy blushed a bit and looked down. “I don’t know... He’s a little out of my league if you know what I mean.” Giles smiled kindly. “Don’t think that way, Buffy. Everybody’s in your league... or however you American’s speak.” Buffy smiled shyly. “Thanks, Giles. That was sweet.” He bent forward and placed the bandage on her still healing cut. Once he was finished, they both turned to the library doors, startled, as Angel walked in, strutting in like he owned everything and everyone. Buffy grinned inside but glared on the outside. She looked at the clock, standing up. “Do you know what time it is? I’ve been here for 45 minutes.” A little white lie never hurt anyone, she thought. Anyway, he deserves it. “So sue me,” Angel replied, watching curiously as the librarian walked away from Buffy, a first aid kit in his hand. Then he noticed the bandage on her head. From Jennifer probably, he assumed and approached her, seeing her anger in her eyes and something else... Angel squinted and was surprised when she turned away abruptly. She looked down at the table, picking up her back pack and reaching in, grabbing a ratty notebook, full of drawings and notes to her friends. She fetched a pen and turned to the librarian, who was up in the stacks, grabbing some books. “Need help, Giles?” Angel was once again taken aback by her closeness to the librarian. What a freak, spending so much time in a creepy place like this. Giles looked down at her and shook his head. “No thank you, Buffy. I’ve got it. Why don’t you and Mr Roarke get ready and I’ll bring down some books that might be helpful for you’re research.” Angel lifted his eyebrows and assumed she had told him about everything. She did seem awfully close to him. Giles walked down the steps with a stack of large books in his hands. Setting them on the table carefully, he pointedly talked to the small blonde. “Please be careful with these. They appear to be falling apart from the none using going on in this school.” Angel couldn’t blame anyone. “These should help you and if you need anything else, I’ll be in my office.” Nodding curtly to Angel, he disappeared into his office. Angel turned to look at Buffy who was searching through the pile. She looked up when she felt his gaze. “What?” “Seem awful close,” he commented. She stared at him, lifting her eyebrow. “And you care because...?” Angel shrugged. “I just think it’s weird, that’s all.” “I’m sure everything about me is weird to you, right? I mean, it’s obvious you would do anything to be anywhere but here. But guess what, you’re stuck here, and it’s better to get this over with, alright? It’s not like I actually enjoy this, either.” Angel looked at her strangely. She sighed in defeat. “Just grab a book, take some notes then get out of here. If you want to help, don’t talk. ‘Cause everything you say to me is rude or cruel.” Angel raised his eyebrows and spoke defensively. “That’s not true.” “Yes it is... especially for that bitchy girlfriend of yours,” Buffy replied angrily before plopping down in on of the seats and opening a book, reading. He glared at her, keeping his mouth shut. He could see the conflicting emotions within her and wondered at her black eye. He couldn’t resist. “What happened to your eye?” Buffy sighed dramatically and felt tears rise in the back of her throat. He just doesn’t know when to fucking stop! Especially when it concerns her worse fears and subjects. She glared up at him. “None of your business,” she said in a rough voice before looking down and staring at the words before her blearily. Angel shrugged, ignoring his guilt for apparently making her cry, and opened one of the books, hurriedly taking notes, not caring whether they made a difference or not. He just wanted to get out of there.
Buffy walked up the walk to her house from her stroll from the library. Their meeting had gone horribly. She got barely any work done thanks to his big mouth. She hated him. Yet, it really sucked that she couldn’t stop thinking about him. After only forty minutes, he had gone to the pick up Cordelia, saying he would work some more at home. That was a load of shit. Like hell he would even try to do anything academic. Maybe Xander was right. Maybe she was going to get stuck with the whole project. That would royally suck and she knew she would fail. She needed help, not a sarcastic reply to her every word. It was already dark out and there was very little light on in her house. Buffy heard the TV blaring and a voice shouting. Oh, God, Buffy thought, looking frightened. Please no. Buffy walked into the living room cautiously, looking fearfully at her parents. Her mom was sitting in an almost broken chair, looking up at her dad, a bottle of hard liquor in her hands. Her dad was standing above her, his hand raised. Buffy shuddered. They both looked up at the sound of her entering. Fire flashed in her dad’s eyes. “Where have you been?” he asked, advancing on her in the room where the TV was casting a large glow on everything. Buffy tried to stand her ground, but failed backing up into the yellowed wall behind her. She looked up at him, frightened. He was a lot taller than her, had a lot more muscle and an anger that couldn’t be simmered. “I-I was with a-a friend at the library...w-we were working on a research project.” Hank Summers glared at her. “Right... Are you sure you weren’t at some boy’s house getting fucked, you little whore?” Buffy winced at his words. “I’m telling the truth,” she said weakly, hating how he blamed her for horrible things. Hank grabbed his daughter’s arm in a bruising grip, pulling her to him. “Don’t back mouth me, young lady.” Buffy felt something warm and wet trickle down her cheek. That only made him madder. He brought up his other hand and wiped it roughly across her cheek. Buffy bit her lip to stop from crying out. “After all of this shit you put us through, you really think you have the right to cry?” Buffy shook her head weakly, not responding. Her father slapped her across her right cheek, making Buffy’s head flip to the side. He pulled her to him again. “Answer me when I talk to you!” Buffy closed her eyes. “I’m sorry,” she whispered, fully crying now. Hank shook his head in disappointment. “Yeah, you’re sorry... I knew you were a mistake the minute I saw you.” He threw her into the wall she had just been backed up into, hitting her head roughly. She cried out and slumped to the floor. Placing her hand on the back of her neck, she curled up into a little ball. All the while her mom had just watched. She didn’t get up while Hank walked past her, telling her to come into the bedroom. Joyce Summers nodded, standing, about to follow him before she turned around. She spoke, her words slurred and defensive. “You know it’s for you’re own good that this is happening, Buffy. You should accept it and realize you get treated very good compared to others. Accept it gracefully.” Joyce turned and followed her husband into the room. Buffy stayed right there on the floor, her mother’s screams of more pain than pleasure echoing through the small house. Buffy cried for the rest of the night.
“I did some work.” Buffy shut her eyes at the deep voice coming from behind her and turned around. “That’s just fucking great for you,” she snapped before she could stop herself and turned back around. She could literally hear his surprise. “What the hell is you problem?” Angel demanded, clenching the paper in his hand. He did something and all she does is fuck him over with her attitude. Buffy paused her search through her locker. With one arm resting on the floor of her locker, she turned around and looked up at him. “What did you do?” Angel stared at her. “You know what? I don’t what your problem is, but you should probably get the fuck over it. You think you’re something special?” Buffy narrowed her eyes. She didn’t speak for a moment. “Give me the paper.” It was then that Angel noticed the bright red mark on her cheek. His face softened. “What-“ “What does ‘it’s none of your business’ mean to you?” Buffy asked angrily, suddenly advancing on him in the empty hallway. He backed away with each of her small paces. “The fact that shit happens doesn’t mean anything to you, does it? As long as you’re okay... as long as you’re fucking perfect life is okay, then everything’s fucking dandy with the world. Well, guess what? It’s not! Now mind your own god damn business and give me that stupid paper and go off and fuck your girlfriend!” She held her hand out to him. Angel was stunned into silence. Buffy panted slightly before him, her fist clenched at her sides. Releasing her hand, she dropped the other as she turned around and stalked to her locker. Slamming the door shut, she turned to glare at him. “If you lived in my world for more than two seconds, you would be fucking dead.” Angel furrowed his brows. “Whatever the hell it is that’s got your fucking panties in a twist, drop it. You’re nothing special, Buffy.” Buffy swallowed as he said her name. She was nothing special to him. She was just another girl who happened to dress like shit and come to school with bruises all over her body. She was nothing special. “Who the fuck...” She laughed suddenly, a bitter, cold laugh. “Yeah, okay, I’ll just go jump off a cliff because that’s the only thing that’ll help me anymore.” Angel shook his head. “What the hell ever. I don’t need to listen to your pathetic problems, okay? Let’s just get this fucking lame- ass project over with because the farther away from me you are, the happier I’ll be.” Buffy pursed her lips. Angel threw the paper he had clenched so tightly at her face. She looked down at it’s fluttering form as he stormed off down the echoing hallway. “Yeah...” Buffy sighed, self-loathing evident in her small voice. “I’m sure.”
Buffy really did feel like taking a nosedive off a cliff in that moment. It had been two days since her and Angel’s little fight and they hadn’t come close to the other since. She glared at him while he ignored her completely. And to top if off, she felt guilty for her little outbursts. She felt guilty for saying those things to him. She wanted to die. It was another three days before he finally came up to her, only to try and make nice while she could see the open hostility in his eyes. Biting her tongue the entire time he spoke to her in his venom laced voice, she nodded her head at certain intervals. He wanted to meet in the library. Get the ‘stupid lame-ass project’ done and her out of his life. It was as simple as saying it, she knew, but he wouldn’t. He’d rather draw it all out and make it less painful for himself. It made her want to laugh and cry at the same time. He really was a bastard. What she never knew was that Angel was beginning to see her in a different light. It began as pity. He pitied her for her home life. A blind person could see that she was miserable and he felt somewhat bad that he had said the things he had said. It was half the reason he had tried to make it up to her, but she wouldn’t have any of it, only going on to make him angry. Who did she think she was? No one special, that was who. It was enough that Angel would stare at his girlfriend and wish for blonde hair rather than her rich locks. It made him sick, while another, much smaller part, fought it’s way out.
Part Three
Two weeks later, Buffy found herself walking into her English class on a bright Friday morning, discovering a few people were already there. Especially for the early hour. She had wanted to come in a get some work done. She hadn’t seen Angel at all, not since he had tried to talk to her the last time, only during English where they had to work on completely different papers and such. She had been in the library, pouring over the books Giles had found for her, her anger towards the fact that Angel wouldn’t show up constantly growing. The only time she saw him was when Cordelia walked by. It was like he was purposely trying to avoid her. And it hurt. Especially when he completely ignored her whenever she tried to talk to him. All of her notes had been taken, at least enough to make the presentation long enough for her to pass. And Angel. She knew she wouldn’t let him fail. It was one of her flaws. Especially with him. And she hated it. It really sucked ass. But, she couldn’t help herself. Sitting down, Buffy pulled out her stack of notes and began working the pile into a decent presentation. With or without Angel’s help, she was going to get this done. As she began writing in her loopy handwriting, she reached up unconsciously to touch her red cheek. Her father had given her the blow of a lifetime last night because she had gotten home late again. Even though he didn’t care, he certainly acted like it for his sake. And it didn’t help that he had lost his job a few days earlier, the abuse coming much more, now not just on her face but her body as well. And it hurt, even when she breathed. He would punch her. She would cry, beg him to stop, yet he didn’t. He did the same with her mother. She didn’t understand why she didn’t just get her mom and get the hell out of there. Buffy blinked and swallowed hard. She wouldn’t think about it. Nope. No thoughts. Concentrating on her paper, she began getting more done than she thought she would.
Willow and Xander walked into their English class, surprised and relieved at the same time to see their blonde friend sitting at her desk, writing quickly, forming sentences from her notes. Willow sighed in relief and rushed over to her. Buffy looked up, surprised and confused. “Oh, thank god, Buffy. I thought something might have happened to you...” Willow squinted her eyes as she recognized the red hand print on her cheek. “Oh, my God, Buffy, what happened?” Xander squatted next to Willow and gently touched her cheek. The bell was about to ring and students were filing in. Including the object of her anger and affection with his bitch of a girlfriend. “Oh, Buff...” “It’s nothing, guys. I’m fine. You know, the usual...” Buffy sniffed, smiling weakly. Xander looked over at Willow who looked at him the same time, both getting more and more worried with her sudden marks and such. They could see the way she walked that she was getting hurt in other ways as well. They both watched as a glassy layer of tears formed over her eyes. Letting her hair fall back over her cheek so no one saw the tears or the hand print on her cheek, Buffy sniffed and sat up straighter as Angel passed by. She looked down at her paper awkwardly when he looked down at her and her friends. Xander glared at him while Willow was still focused on Buffy. Buffy smiled weakly again. “I’m fine, guys...” “You’re so far from fine it’s scary, Buffy. Stop saying that,” Xander demanded in a stern voice, standing up and walking to the teacher. She listened attentively, nodding her head when Xander finished. He walked back. Buffy looked up at him. “What’d you say?” “C’mon, we’re excused from class. We aren’t doing anything grade threatening today so she’s gonna let us take you out of here.” Buffy spoke in a small voice. “ Really?” She looked to the teacher who nodded her confirmation. She shot him a small, weak smile. “Thanks, Xand.” Willow smiled at him happily and all three of them stood and left the classroom, Angel’s eyes boring into their backs going unnoticed. As they left they heard Spike. “What’s going on? Why do they get to leave?” Spike demanded. Ms Murray answered back. “None of your business. Now, open your books to...” Before she could finish, she spotted Angel’s hand shoot up into the air. Ms Murray looked startled and pointed at him. “Yes, Angel?” “Can I go to the bathroom?” he asked anxiously. Ms Murray raised her eyebrows. “School just started. You had the whole morning to go. Why now?” “It just sorta came,” he said lamely. Ms Murray sighed and shrugged. “Fine. But make it quick.” Angel sighed in relief and ignored Cordelia’s curious gaze as he rushed out of the room, grabbing the pass As he made his way out, all he could think about was Buffy and if she was okay. She wouldn’t leave class for any old reason. Ever since that time in the library before their small fight and the hurt and longing look in her eyes, some really strange feelings had grown. Stuff he had never felt before. He couldn’t stop thinking about her. Couldn’t get her out of his head. He saw her everywhere he went. And the only way he thought he could escape it was when he was with Cordelia or Spike. At the Bronze or down in L.A. But it didn’t work. He knew Spike knew something was wrong because his whole demeanor had changed. He wasn’t as cruel or as outspoken as he used to be. He actually did his homework. Something was wrong. And it was of the good, in his opinion. Cordelia on the other hand just thought it was a phase and continually insisted on making out in the janitor’s closet. But, every time he pulled away, he always saw Buffy and a new longing filled him. As he rounded the corner in the direction he thought the trio had gone, he spotted the group walking towards the exit, probably going to hang out outside until the next period in the courtyard. Turning his hurried walking into a jog, Angel easily caught up with them. “Buffy!” he called, wincing when he realized how loud his voice really was. All three of them turned around, Buffy with pain in her eyes, a large mark on her cheek and she was holding her side. She looked pathetic. Xander was shooting daggers at him with his eyes and Willow looked confused. Buffy’s expression turned to confusion as well. “Angel...?” “Are you okay? I saw you leaving and got worried,” Angel replied to her weak voice, ignoring Xander’s murderous look. He got closer to them and towered over the small blonde, who was wearing baggy jeans and a large sweatshirt, unzipped where he could see her frame clothed in a small, torn tank. Her hand was covering her the area below her ribs. Before Buffy could answer, though, Xander cut in. “Why should you care? You’ve been ignoring Buffy for the last two weeks and making her do all the work for the damn project that will tell us whether we fail or not. The least you can do is leave her alone now!” Buffy looked up at him, warning in her eyes. Xander knew very well of her feelings for Angel and no matter how much she thought she did, she didn’t want to see him hurt. “Xander.” “What? Buffy, all he’s done is—” “Xander! Shut up! I know. I was there!” she said loudly, her eyebrows raised and her eyes confused and wondering. Turning back to Angel, she put a cold note in her voice forcefully. “What do you want, Angel?” She thought she saw him wince and wondered at his change in person. He seemed... softer, if that was possible. Angel looked at her, the idea suddenly forming. “I was actually wondering if we could meet in the library this afternoon. I have been working on the computer and was wondering if we could compare notes. You know, seeing as how we’re in this thing together...” A small, genuine smile lit her face, but it disappeared before he could register it. “That’s fine. Right after school? You won’t make me wait for you again?” Angel nodded. “I promise. I swear I’ll be there. Maybe, if we work hard enough, we’ll get everything done.” Although that was the last thing he wanted, he realized. He just... needed to be with her. Buffy nodded, hating the way he said they could get it done quickly. “Alright, but you better be there.” “I promise.” Buffy sighed and turned around, fighting to keep the smile off her face. Maybe he had a change in heart. Or maybe he was pitying her. Buffy frowned at that thought and walked off with her friends. Angel turned and grinned, returning to class.
Buffy walked into the library, the same weariness she had been feeling for the last week coming to a head. It was finally Friday and she had managed to get her friends to go so she could work alone with Angel, his sudden change in heart interesting. They had reluctantly agreed and Willow had invited her over to her house for the night. Buffy was glad. She did not want to face her parents right now. Especially after what her father had done to her. Buffy sighed and looked up. And almost jumped back a few feet. Angel was sitting at the table, books surrounding him and papers he had obviously printed from a computer. He wrote down a few things and turned the page. Buffy stared at him, wondering what was going on. This wasn’t the Angel everyone knew and loved. “Hey,” Buffy said quietly, but loud enough for him to catch it. Angel looked up and a smile lit up his face. He motioned for her to come closer. She did, never taking her eyes off of his smile. It looked real. And beautiful. She loved seeing it. “Hey. I was beginning to worry when you didn’t come for a while, but, hey, here you are.” Buffy smiled a little and sat down in a seat next to him, once more surprised to not see him scoot away and completely ignore her. He actually reached over to a spot that was next to her and grabbed a book and some papers. It was all she could do to not inhale and smell the cologne he wore. “Well, as I told you before, I have been doing stuff on the Internet, looking up things.” He placed a few of the papers in front of her as she sat her backpack down and she sifted through them silently. He watched her. “Angel, this is great. Thank you. It will really help,” she said, looking up at him, completely forgetting about all her problems when he leaned closer to her and pointed at something on the paper. “I’ve got everything I could find on her. Her official website, others... It’s all here.” Buffy smiled brightly. “This really is going to help. Thanks.” “No problem. Also, I’ve already got more notes. I sorta assumed you had started the presentation when I saw you already in class this morning, so, I was hoping you would let me add a few things. Is that okay?” Buffy nodded absently. He was acting completely different than he had been before. “Yeah. Th-that’d be fine.” “Great, here’s what I got...” He handed her his notebook and watched her start reading. He was debating whether he should talk to her about the last few weeks and the way he had been acting. He then noticed the white scar on her forehead where the gash Jennifer had given her used to be. Instead of feeling glee from her getting hurt, he felt the urge to find Jennifer and hurt her a whole lot worse than she had Buffy. Opening his mouth, his heart made the decision. “Listen, Buffy,” he started. She looked up at him, her eyes a little bit brighter than before. She stared at him expectantly. “Yeah?” “I’m really sorry about the way I’ve been acting around you lately. Ignoring you was really mean and I’m sorry. I’m also sorry about not helping you out with this. And I’m sorry for what I said a couple of weeks ago. That wasn’t right.” Buffy stared at him, her mouth agape a bit. What was he saying? Getting her thoughts back together, she spoke. “No, no, it’s fine. No big.” She grinned to reassure him, not able to find the energy to be angry with him when it was so much easier to forgive and forget when it came to the man she found herself adoring from afar. “Are you sure? Because I really feel awful.” “Seriously, it’s not a big deal. Stop worrying... really.” Angel smiled. “Alright. Thank you.” Buffy nodded and looked back down at his notebook. “Well, let’s get to work, then.” Without realizing it, they found themselves staring at each other throughout their study period. Angel could only stare at her lips, which he found he wanted to kiss. He wanted to see if she was as good a kisser as he thought, which he was sure she was. Much better than Cordy. Buffy thought the same way, without the Cordelia part, thankfully.
Angel looked up from the book he had been reading, catching the sight of Buffy asleep on top of the book she had been scanning. There was a notebook next to her, fully filled with her loopy handwriting of notes that told of Emily Dickinson’s life. Angel smiled. She looked so small and frail. Buffy was laying on her left arm, her chin resting on the open book. Her right arm was draped on the table carelessly, a few small bruises seeable on her slightly pale skin where she had taken off her sweatshirt. They were faded, but noticeable. Her hair was pulled back from when she had done it earlier, quite a few strands splayed across her face. That was when Angel once again noticed the large red mark where someone had obviously hit her. It was agitated skin that kept it from fading, like she had been hit there in the exact same spot many times. Angel frowned, wondering how bad the treatment she was getting at home was. It had been obvious that she was extremely exhausted, judging by the dark circles under her eyes. She hadn’t been sleeping, at all, was what it looked like. Deep concern filled Angel as he stared at the girl before him. A soft snore escaped her soft lips and Angel found himself unable to tear his eyes away from her. How he could not have noticed her before was beyond him. She was so beautiful. The way her blonde hair matched her glowing skin. She hid all of it well, allowing her tough exterior to come out and fight. He could tell by the way her clothes hung on her body that she was a little too skinny. Angel’s brows furrowed. His feelings toward her were growing... intimate feelings. He couldn’t deny it. Just the thought that she was going to show sent a thrill up and down his spine. And, at the same time, it was very disturbing. He had Cordelia, who just happened to despise the small blonde. He couldn’t understand why. Buffy happened to be extremely nice under the wall she held around her. He could see in her eyes the way she hid everything she was, letting someone who she wasn’t come out. Someone who was the cause of the fights she got in, the cause of all the trouble she got in. He could also see that she guarded her heart well, guarded it from harm while the outer layer took the beating. Angel leaned forward, the book he had been reading immediately forgotten. His hand gently touched her reddened cheek, tracing the round form that was her face. Buffy whimpered in her sleep, instinctively leaning into the comfortable touch, ignoring the burn that the touch caused her, instead enjoying the softness of the caress. She sighed and her eyes fluttered softly. She opened them and looked blearily to see Angel looking at her. She smiled, happy that his hand hadn’t left her cheek. “Hi,” she whispered, barely audible. Angel caught it though and smiled. “Hi,” he replied, wanting to chuckle at her sleepy mood. She was obviously so tired. “Mmm,” Buffy moaned, closing her eyes briefly before opening them again, not daring to move her head in fear that Angel would remove his hand. It was still softly caressing her agitated cheek and it felt incredibly good. She hadn’t been touched like that since she had been a little girl. Before her parents had changed. “What time is it?” Angel didn’t need to look at his watch. “Eight.” “Oh,” Buffy said, surprised. She immediately sat up, wavering a little bit from her lack of sleep. “Oh,” she said again. “I’m so sorry. I fell asleep... oh, god... how long have I been asleep?” Angel shrugged. “About an hour.” “Why didn’t you wake me?” she asked a little too sharply. She winced at the tone of her own voice, immediately regretting it. Angel leaned back away from her into his own chair. “Sorry. You looked really tired. I just thought you needed some sleep.” Buffy sighed. “I’m sorry. I didn’t get a lot of sleep last night. Or any, for that matter.” Buffy leaned her head forward into her hand where she rubbed her eye roughly, chasing away any remaining sleep. “It shows.” Buffy smirked. “Thanks.” Buffy looked down at her notes and the book she had been reading. Then it hit her. “Oh, weren’t you supposed to be out with you girlfriend right now? Like at the Bronze?” Somewhere without me. Angel looked down at his watch. “It’s not that important. I can go later.” Buffy grimaced. “I’m sorry.” Then she laughed roughly. “I seem to be saying that a lot tonight.” “You don’t need to be. Why would you be sorry?” “Well, me being here obviously kept you from something you were going to do at the Bronze. I mean, you were probably going to go meet Cordelia or something...” Angel leaned forward and looked her in the eye. “You don’t need to worry about her. She’s not that important.” “You mean you would rather be here with me than with your girlfriend?” Buffy asked incredulously. Angel smiled, avoiding the question. “Seriously, don’t worry about it.” He leaned back and picked up his book. He picked up his feet and casually crossed them on the large table that sat in the middle of the library. Buffy smiled wanly before looking down at her book, picking up where she had left off earlier. A half hour later, Buffy yawned for the hundredth time that evening, trying to ignore the urge to fall asleep again. That would have been rude, considering Angel had let her do it the first time. She was sure if she did it again he would leave and that was the last thing she wanted him to do. Buffy slowly allowed her thoughts to drift to earlier when she had awaken to Angel caressing her cheek. Buffy’s heart fluttered. It had felt good, to be caressed so gently, especially on her agitated skin. It made her wonder. What had he been doing? Thinking? Touching her like that? Buffy slowly raised her hazel eyes, locking on the figure of the man before her. He was deeply engrossed in the book, his brown orbs tracing back and forth as they caressed the words he was reading. Buffy wondered why he was staying even after she had fallen asleep. She thought he would have left. Why he hadn’t he left and gone to the Bronze? Buffy sighed softly, too softly for Angel to notice, and continued her reading, occasionally taking some notes, saving her heavy thoughts for later.
Buffy was fighting a never ending battle with the sleep that was trying to take her over. It would feel so good to just give in but it would be bad to spend the night at the library in the school, have Giles find her Saturday morning, not that she would when she got to her own house. Giles had left, having something important to do and had trusted Buffy to leave and lock up. Buffy looked up at the wall in front of her and spotted a clock under her heavy lids. It read nine o’clock. Buffy grunted. Dammit, I don’t want to leave. Buffy lifted her head, to see Angel leaning on his hand, his eyes almost half shut as well. Buffy chuckled. He was so cute. Buffy stood, pushing the chair she had been sitting in away from her. She made her way over to Angel, knowing she had to wake him up when he didn’t so much as flutter an eyelid at the sound of her movement. Buffy leaned in close to him, gently shaking his arm. He moaned. Buffy smiled. “Angel... Angel, I think we need to go. It’s getting late.” At her soft voice, Angel’s eyes shot open and he spotted Buffy hanging over him, felt her gently shaking his arm. “What...?” He lifted his head, looking down at his watch. “Oh.” Buffy stepped away from him, moving to her area where she began to pick up her things, putting her books into a neat pile. Angel shook his head, ridding himself of the sleep that still resided in his eyes. “You going home?” he asked wearily, watching her clean everything she had used up. Buffy shrugged. “I don’t know.” Angel frowned at that. “What do you mean you don’t know?” he asked, looking up at her with what she thought was concern. “I just don’t know. I’m probably going to go to Willow’s... why?” Buffy asked in confusion. “I’m sorry, it’s just the ‘or something’ part I’m worried about, Buffy. Why won’t you go home?” Angel asked, slowly bringing himself into a standing position. He eyed her worriedly. Although he already had a good idea, he wanted to be certain and another part of him wanted to hear her say it. Admit that her family life was shit and she should get the hell out. Buffy looked down shamefully, afraid to meet his eyes. “I... I just can’t. There are... things... that you don’t know, Angel.” Shaking her head, she attempted to glare at him. “And it’s none of your business, anyway.” Angel ignored her anger. He fought the urge to tell her that he wanted it to be his business and that he wanted her to tell him what was going on her life. He wanted to help her. But he didn’t want her to be angrier with him than she already apparently was. “Fine,” Angel relented, standing. Buffy almost wanted him to argue with her. “Good. I don’t know why you’re acting like you care anyway.” “You think I’m acting?” Angel asked darkly. Buffy glared at him. “Why the fuck wouldn’t I think that?” she demanded, staring at him defiantly. “All you’ve ever done with me is use me like I’m a piece of garbage and laugh as all your girlfriends verbally attack me! Why the fuck wouldn’t I think that?” Her angry yell bounced off the walls of the library and echoed in Angel’s head. God, had he really been that cruel to her? “Buffy, I’m sorry for all- ” “Bullshit!” she yelled before clamping a hand over her mouth and closing her eyes. A fine tremble could be seen in her slight frame. She looked at him once more. “Don’t even say those words to me, Angel. That would hurt me more than anything you’ve ever done.” Angel just stared at her in shock as she pulled her teary eyes away from his face and continued packing her things into her bag. He followed suit after a couple of minutes of strained silence. He was completely speechless. He’d never felt this shitty in his entire life as he watched the little blonde before him as she visibly shook and a tear traced down her cheek. She didn’t speak to him as she picked up her things and straightened the library best she could and walked into the stalks to the back door. Before disappearing completely, she looked at him warily with shiny eyes. “You coming?” She waited for him patiently as he finished packing and climbed the stairs to the back where the exited out the building through the emergency exit. She locked the door and pocketed the key that Giles had given her. He stared at her oddly. She grimaced at his look. “What?” she demanded. “Why do you have a key?” he asked softly. She glared at him. “Yet another thing that really isn’t any of your business,” she replied acridly. He swallowed thickly. “Oh,” was his reply and Buffy felt guilty at for snapping at him. God damn this fucking man! she screamed in her mind, feeling a headache growing behind her eyes. Buffy followed him to the student parking lot and looked at the black Beamer standing proudly in the night, looking shiny and new. It was undoubtedly his and she longed to be the one to hop in that car with him to make out. Wasn’t she supposed to be angry with him? Shaking her head, she sighed and looked at him. “I guess we’ll meet up later to finish the project.” Angel nodded and looked at her sadly. He knew without a doubt that what he felt for this little woman was beyond anything he’d ever felt for all the girls he dated in the past combined. He wanted to take her with him and whisk her away to a secluded area and make sure she never hurt again. Staring into her eyes, he saw the raw pain and anger hiding behind the giant wall she put up. He was sure she didn’t realize that with eyes as big as hers, she was as readable as a book. At least, to him she was. Moments passed that were filled with more awkward silence. Buffy finally looked around her and realized the long walk she had before she reached Willow’s house. Sniffling, fighting back yet more tears, she took a step away from Angel and his car. “I’m gonna go. Willow’s probably waiting for me.” Without a second thought to whoever saw them or what people would think when they did, he followed her. “Can I drive you?” Buffy paused and turned to look at his car. Swallowing, she almost shook her head before nodding. “Yeah, that would be nice of you.” Sighing in relief, Angel bounded around the car to open her door as she followed. Looking at him strangely, she climbed in and hugged herself as she settled into the cold leather. As he closed the door and walked to the other side, Buffy inhaled his scent that permeated the car. Buffy’s heart began to race as he opened the door and climbed in next to her, finally realizing what was happening. Oh God, she was actually in Angel Roarke’s car. Ohgodohgodohgodohgodohgod, she mumbled in her mind as he started the car smoothly and drove out of the parking lot. She numbly gave him directions as he drove to the redhead’s house, staring out the window, fighting the urge to stare at him. She felt as if the heated anger she’d felt earlier for him didn’t exist and their small argument hadn’t happened. Before she knew what was happening, they were parked in front of her friend’s house and she realized that she didn’t want to get out. “Well, we’re here,” Angel said, putting the car in park. He turned to her and saw her staring out at the house. “Yeah,” she said, feeling detached to the world. What kind of strange universe was this? Why when she was with him it was so easy to forget why she was mad at him? “Thanks for driving me home,” she said absently. Angel frowned. “You’re not at home.” Buffy blinked and looked around her suddenly as if she didn’t realize what she had been doing for the last ten minutes. “Oh, sorry, right. Yeah, Willow’s. Anyway,” she said as she reached for the door handle to the car, “thanks for driving me.” Angel wasn’t thinking. He automatically reached out and grabbed her hand. She whipped her head around to tell him off on reflex before he caught her face in his hand, resting his palm against her inflamed cheek once more. Sucking in a breath, Buffy stared at his lips as he leaned forward. “I’ve never kissed anyone before,” she blurted out and immediately turned red at her words. Angel fought down a chuckle and easily fought her attempts to turn away. “I don’t care,” he whispered, moving closer, grasping her face between his hands. Her eyes were shining beautifully as they grew wider. “I might be bad at it,” she whispered in return, allowing him to pull her closer. He smirked. “I don’t think that’s possible.” Buffy closed her eyes as his lips touched hers gently. He sighed against her mouth and moved to open his to brush his tongue along the seam of her lips. She opened her mouth automatically and moaned as his tongue slipped inside her mouth to caress hers. Buffy pushed the multitude of thoughts inside her mind away as she reluctantly kissed him back, pushing his tongue back. Oh God, it felt so right. He pulled back as the need for oxygen became an issue. They were both panting and Angel rested his forehead against hers. He looked into her eyes. “God, you’re so beautiful.” In an instant, her face turned from fear and tenderness to anger. Her expression became shuttered and she pulled back from Angel. He looked at her, confused. A laugh forced itself from her lips. “That’s a good one, Angel.” “What?” he asked, his own expression becoming angry. What the hell was wrong with her? Couldn’t she take a compliment? “‘God, you’re so beautiful’,” Buffy mocked, staring at him incredulously. “Do you really think I’m that stupid? Is this some kind of sick joke?” she demanded. “It’s not a joke,” Angel said quietly. She laughed again. “Yeah, right,” she spat. “You should have thought of something a bit more realistic before laying it on me. I know I’m not beautiful, Angel. It takes a lot more than that to trick me into doing whatever you sick fucks do for fun.” Suddenly, it dawned on Angel. It hit him like a ton of bricks and his anger dispersed. Shaking his head, he frowned at her. “I’m not tricking you, Buffy.” “Sure you’re not!” she snapped. “What are you playing at? I’m sure you’d love to go to school on Monday and tell everyone that you got Buffy where it hurts! Yeah, great, she’s never kissed anyone! Yeah, neat, she’s not the slut that everyone thinks she is! Yeah, fun, you broke her and humiliated her!” Angel stared at her and the tears that were flowing down her cheeks as she blew up in his face. He felt his heart breaking for her. What had she gone through to make her so angry? “Why aren’t you with Cordelia, huh? Why the fuck are you out here in the middle of the night watching me cry?” she yelled, turning away from him and reaching for the door. “Is this how you guys get your kicks?” Angel grabbed her arm and spun her around to face him. “I’m here because I want to be here with you,” he growled in her face, stilling her actions and sobs. “I’m here because I’d rather talk to you than with that fucking ditz that I happen to be dating! God dammit, Buffy, something’s been happening to me and I don’t know what do!” He didn’t release her and she didn’t fight him. They merely stared at each other. “What are you talking about?” Buffy asked quietly. “I’m falling in love with you!” he said loudly. “And I don’t know how considering the fucking fact that I barely know you and we’ve barely talked for the entirety of the time I’ve ever fucking known you!” Buffy sat in stunned silence. Angel immediately dropped her arm at his admission like it burned him to even touch her and turned away in shock. She continued to stare at him in her own shock. “Oh,” was all she could say. Sighing in irritation, he turned back to her. “I’m sorry,” he muttered. “I didn’t mean to say that.” Buffy frowned and more tears formed in her eyes, never having felt as exposed as she did then. “You don’t?” “What?” “You’re not...” Buffy stopped herself as she sucked in a breath. “I mean... you’re not in love with me?” she asked in a small voice, angry with herself for hurting over that fact so much. Of course he didn’t fucking love her. God, how could she be so naive? Angel stared at her with a shuttered expression before he softened and leaned over to her, taking her face in his hands. “I don’t know,” he answered honestly. “But whatever I’m feeling for you... I just know that I want to be with you and protect you more than anything right now.” Another sob escaped her throat before she could stop it and he immediately took her into the shelter of his arms. That simple act caused her to cry more and she let it all out. It was a half hour before she finally calmed and just sat with his arms wrapped around her. It felt so good, she didn’t have words for it. “Are you okay?” he whispered into her hair. Buffy nodded and pulled away enough to look into his eyes. “Why me?” she asked. Angel gifted her with one of his award-winning smile. “I don’t know,” he answered. “But I do know that nothing has ever felt so... right.” Buffy smiled. “Thank you,” she whispered before his lips found hers once more.
Buffy stood for a full ten minutes after Angel left just staring down the road he had driven down, unable to fully comprehend what had just happened before moving to Willow’s front door and knocking softly. It was answered almost immediately by a frantic looking Willow who gave her friend the once over before pulling her into the house. “Oh my, God, I thought something happened to you!” Willow said in a harsh whisper, fully aware that her parents were upstairs sleeping. Buffy blinked as if coming awake from a catatonic state. “What?” Buffy whispered back. “No, I’m fine...” Willow paused to study her friend and the strange way she was acting. “Okay, give. What happened?” “What are you talking about?” Buffy asked lightly. “You know exactly what I’m talking about!” Willow exclaimed loudly before clamping a hand over her mouth at the loud outburst. Buffy smirked and allowed Willow to pull her upstairs and into her bedroom where she closed the door tightly. “Something happened. You look... I don’t know...” Willow paused for a moment before it dawned on her. “You’ve been making out with someone, haven’t you?” Buffy took a moment to look at her friend in shock that she had caught on so quickly. “What happened to my innocent friend, Willow Rosenberg, you imposter?” Willow rolled her eyes and sat down on the bed with Buffy. “Come on! What happened?” “You won’t believe me if I told you,” Buffy said, grinning. Willow was unable to not notice that her best friend looked happier than she ever had. “Try me,” Willow challenged. “It was Angel,” Buffy said softly, proceeding on with her story as Willow continued looking at her in shocked silence. “Wow,” Willow mumbled afterwards, staring at Buffy with wide eyes. “Wow.” “Yeah,” Buffy replied, “tell me about it.”
l be kind, rewind l back to top l
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