Rated: R
Disclaimer: The characters of Buffy: The Vampire Slayer belong exclusively to Joss Whedon, Mutant Enemy and Warner Brothers. I'm just borrowing.
Part five in the Demon...Angel... Series.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
"What is it?" Oz asked, spotting the nervous expression on Willow's face as she nestled into the soft grass of the Sunnydale High School court yard. "Why the look?"
Flashing him a curious look, silently praying she wasn't nearly so easy to see through, Willow asked gently, "What look?" He pulled a face and she smiled. "Oh... I was just... Well..." She thought for a moment. Now was, she realized, as good a time as any to tell Oz what had happened with Angelus. Well, she reminded herself, there really was no good time. "I... I have something to tell you..."
Oz took her hand, caressing it warmly, "Okay, shoot."
"I..." She paused for a long moment, taking a big, deep breath, "The other night..."
"Hey guys!" Xander's voice wafted toward them as he approached.
Willow rushed the next words out, "Buffy and I made plans to study..." She hoped the change in topic would mean she could avoid any mention of Angelus until she was alone with Oz. She added, "Tonight."
As Xander sat down, Oz smiled, "Fair enough. We can catch up later if you like." He nodded to Xander, "Hey."
Smiling at her friend, Willow added her own quiet little "Hi."
"Have you guys seen Cordy?" Xander asked, glancing about the courtyard, "We're gonna do the... Buffy! Hey there!" He waved to the Slayer as she stepped toward them, smiling warmly.
"Hi guys." Buffy halted beside Willow, looking down at the red head and her unabashedly sweet boyfriend, "Oz, mind if I steal your girlfriend?"
Oz grinned, "You plan on returning her, right?"
Buffy shook her head, "Oh no. I plan on keeping her always." She grinned back at him, "You don't mind, do you?"
He shrugged, "So long as I know."
Willow leaned toward Oz, kissing his cheek, "I'll call you. We can work out... You know, about later." Buffy reached out her hand and Willow took it, letting the Slayer help her to her feet. "See ya, Xan." She stepped onto the concrete path beside Buffy and the twosome walked into the nearest corridor.
"Have you run into Angel lately?" Willow queried her friend lightly.
The Slayer shook her head, "Nup. Not once in the last few nights. He is *so* avoiding me."
"Well, if he likes his head where it is, he'll probably keep doing that for a while..." Willow smiled, and Buffy couldn't help but share in it. Considering what had happened to her... What she'd gone through in the last few days... The fact that she was keeping herself together, even making jokes, it was a true testimate to the strength she didn't know she had.
"So," Buffy asked quietly, "Did you... You know... Tell Oz?"
Shaking her head, Willow muttered, "Uh-ah." She sighed, "Every time I try, someone comes along or, you know. Sometimes, and I know it's bad and mean and wrong, but, sometimes, I think about not telling him."
Buffy pat her friends arm, "That's understandable, Will. It's a big deal. And it'll be hard. All things considered, I'd be feeling that way too."
Willow smiled, "I wanted you to say, 'Will, you should tell him. You have to tell him.' That would help."
"Will, you should tell him. You have to tell him." She winked at her friend, "Did that help?" When her friend shook her head, Buffy sighed playfully, "I tried."
A grateful smile touched Willow's face, "Thanks, Buffy."
********************
"Whoops." Buffy's pencil rolled quickly away, disappearing into the dark space between the desk and the filing cabinet. "Ooohhh, hold that thought." She muttered, stooping to brush her pencil back out into the open with her finger tips. "Okay, I'm learn girl."
"Okay." Willow pointed back to the pages of the book before them, "So, see here..."
Buffy interrupted her, "Deja Vu."
"Really?"
Buffy replied quietly, "Yeah." She placed her pencil strategically on the open book, letting it roll off the desk again. "I have this perfect memory of the pencil and..." She broke off as the pencil disappeared into the black space again, bending to look between the desk and the filing cabinet. "Oh, hey." She pulled the pencil and a yellow computer disk into her hand, "You dropped this." She handed the disk to Willow.
Willow looked at the disk strangely, "That's not mine." She glanced at Buffy, "It might be something of Miss Calendar's." She turned, pushing the disk carefully into the floppy drive of her laptop, clicking to open the disk so they could see it's contents.
"This feels kinda morbid," Buffy observed.
"I've gone through most of her files already." Willow offered innocently.
Buffy almost smiled, "Does that make it less morbid or you really morbid?"
Willow let a small, friendly, 'ah' escape her. "I had to, to teach her class." She explained.
"Relax, Will. I was making with the funny." Buffy replied, watching the computer screen as the last of the information on the disk appeared. Reading over the words quickly, she asked, "Does that say restoration?"
"It's one of her spells, I think." Willow turned to Buffy, "Miss Calendar wasn't a practicing witch but she did dabble..."
Buffy cut her off, "Willow."
Hearing the tone in her friends voice, Willow turned back to face the screen, reading curiously, "Oh boy. Oh boy." She added almost inaudibly, "Oh boy..."
********************
When Willow opened the front door of the Rosenberg house, she was surprised to see Kendra at Buffy's side. "Kendra? Er, hi!" Having spoken to Buffy a little earlier on the phone, she was surprised to see she had company. She shrugged to herself, Kendra had probably showed up after they'd talked.
Buffy thrust her thumb at the second Slayer, exclaiming warmly, "The things you find in Sunnydale."
"Hello, Willow." Kendra half-smiled at her as she spoke in her thick accent.
Smiling, Willow pulled the door further open, "Well, come on in."
The two Slayers stepped inside, "Parents away?" Buffy asked, Willow nodded in reply.
"Would you like a drink, Kendra?" Willow asked politely.
The Slayer replied quietly, "Yes, please."
"Okay. Good." Willow smiled, "Buffy?" Buffy nodded a 'yes' too, and Willow turned for the kitchen, "Just make yourselves at home."
Buffy stepped toward Willow, "I'll give you a hand." She turned, motioning for Kendra to sit down, "Take a load off." She followed Willow quietly until they'd gotten to the kitchen. She helped Willow spread out some glasses and watched her carefully as she poured some juice. "Will?"
She looked up, "Yes?"
"I... I wanted to ask you..." She clasped her hands together silently, her fingers darting around each other nervously, "Back at the library earlier, you... You seemed, I dunno, *eager* to try out the spell. On Angel."
Willow shrugged, "I am." Sensing her friends curious look before it even touched her face, she continued, "Buffy... You love Angel. And Angel loves you. And what happened to you both, it wasn't fair. I want you to have the chance to be together again." She smiled sadly, "Angel didn't hurt me. Angelus did. I'm okay with Angel. If you want him back, I want him back too. For you."
Tears welled up in Buffy's eyes, "Will..." Before the Slayer even knew what was happening, the tears were falling. Willow stepped close to her, hugging her tightly, "I don't deserve a friend like you. Angel changing, that was my fault. And so what happened to you..."
"Stop it!" Willow's voice was surprisingly firm, "Buffy, you're my best friend... And, Angel... He's my friend too. What happened to you guys... You weren't to blame. You deserve the chance to be together. And to be happy. I wanna help."
Buffy smiled through her tears, "You're amazing, Will."
"Amazing?" Willow grinned, "I can live with amazing." She pulled away from her friend and looked into her eyes, "Buffy, you just say so... And I'll do that spell."
********************
"I'm sorry..."
"Stop saying that." Willow grasped Angel's hand tightly in her own, "You don't have to be sorry, Angel. It wasn't you." Tears of disappointment welled up in her eyes. "I... I... I wanted to bring you back. And I didn't. I f-failed. Your soul..."
Angel touched her cheek, "It's all right, Will. You tried."
Her mind whirled through the attack in the library. She could barely put the pieces together as she looked into his eyes. She remembered trying to run, and something falling on her, pushing her. She didn't even remember hitting the ground. She hadn't finished the spell to know if it would even work... She caught herself, lost in the love in Angel's eyes. Her face lit up suddenly, "It's not too late..."
"What are you talking about?" Angel asked quietly, his voice suddenly beginning to die out as another voice mingled with it. "Willow, what's not too..."
The voice came again, "I love you, Will."
Her eyes fluttered, almost opening, she whispered into the silent air, "Oz..." Could it have been? Was it?
"I'm here." Willow opened her eyes just as the cute mass of carroty red hair leant over her, looking down at her, a hint of fear, and a lot of love, in his sweet eyes.
As he kissed her forehead, she could make out Xander's voice coming from somewhere behind him, "I'll get the doctor."
Still hazy, she could hear herself asking him something. She wasn't sure what, and when he answered, just the comfort in his voice made her smile. She tried to focus, eventually, her mind cleared slightly and she could make sense of the words tumbling from her lips.
"Where am I?" She asked, her voice still weak.
Oz sat on the side of the bed, clutching her hand, "In the hospital."
"Oz... Angel..." She felt consciousness slipping from her again, this time in a wave of exhaustion as she tried to continue, the next sentence escaping her so quietly, Oz couldn't even make out the words. "The spell... I didn't get a chance..."
********************
Eyes fixed firmly on the spell in front of her, Willow let her mind race through the never ending supply of nerves she seemed to have stored up at that moment. Xander still seemed angry with her when he'd left. Upset that she had decided to try the spell again. She'd expected such a reaction. Xander had always, and would always, despise Angel, whether he had a soul or not. His feelings for Buffy were so intense that his jealousy had grown to the point where it was unreasonable.
Before meeting Angel, Willow had wanted to be with Xander so badly. She'd longed for him, lusted after him, for years and years. She knew how Xander felt about Buffy, because she'd been in the exact same position with him. And then Angel had come along. It didn't happen right away, it was such a gradual process that she hadn't realized it had happened... But the night he had changed and tried to kill her... That Angelus, had tried to, anyway, she'd realized how much she loved him. And he was lost to her. And to Buffy.
Yes, Willow really understood how Xander felt. She didn't doubt that he loved Buffy. That his infatuation had grown to a point she once would have been jealous of. But now, she loved Angel. Granted, some part of her, reminiscent of her childhood, had been jealous and hurt that Xander had chosen Cordelia, of all people, to fall for instead of his lifetime friend, but it didn't last long. Her main disgust had lay in the fact it *was* Cordelia, someone she hated, but now, Cordy wasn't so bad...
Xander would never have her heart the way he could've. And, sadly, she knew Oz wouldn't either. All the deepest emotions buried in her soul were meant for Angel. And even though he loved Buffy, and would always love Buffy, Willow wanted him back. Wanted to give him his soul rather than have Buffy destroy him. That way, not only would her best friend have the love of her life back in her arms, she too would know Angel's company again.
She shook her head, deciding she'd pondered enough. It was time to focus. She looked up to Cordelia and Oz, who were preparing the last of the items necessary to complete the restoration spell. She asked them nervously, "Are we ready?"
Cordelia replied in her own, unique fashion, "Stinky herbs are go."
"Did I mention I didn't take Latin?" Oz asked quietly.
"Y-y-you don't have to understand it, you just have to say it." She added, almost optimistically, "I hope."
"Right." Oz nodded.
Willow dropped the handful of shells she'd been clutching tightly in her hand onto the table. Beside her, Oz began to read aloud the passage before him. "Not dead, nor not of the living..." She began. "Spirits of the interregnum, I call."
As she went on, the words started to get harder and harder. Willow felt her heart tightening, her limbs unwantingly relaxing, her lungs fighting for breath. "Gods bind him, cast his heart from the demon... Realm... Return his... I call on... I..."
And then it happened. A sudden surge filled her, snapping her eyes to the ceiling and then dropping her eyes to the wall across the room, fixing on it blankly. Her soul felt empty, tired, but her love for Angel kept her holding on. Charges of energy unlike anything she'd ever felt before pulsed throughout her entire being. "Te implor Doamne, nu ignora accasta rugaminte! Lasa orbita sa fie vasul care-i va transporta sufletul la el!"
Beside her, she was sure she could hear Oz. And Cordelia. But their words weren't getting through. There was only the power of restoration... "Este scris, aceasta putere este dreptul poporuil meu de a conduce. Asa sa fie! Acum!" She took a deep breath and then stated again, "Acum!"
A wave of emotions passed through her suddenly, and as they disappeared, she collapsed back onto the bed, exhausted to the point of unconsciousness.
********************
Blinking sharply from the sting of the hospital lights above her head, Willow moaned quietly, waiting for her eyes to adjust. As they did, she managed a tired look around the room. Cordelia was gone, she noted, but Oz remained beside her, clutching her hand, nestled into the chair beside the bed. His head rest on her blankets, his eyes closed, as he slept soundly beside her.
She wanted to love him. He was so good to her. So sweet and kind and wonderful. And maybe one day, if she could ever let go of her love for Angel, she would. But for now, all she could do was give him all she had. She decided at that moment that she would never tell him what Angelus had done. What she had done with Angelus. Because the truth would hurt him. Buffy knew, Giles knew. That was enough. It was past. And if Angelus was gone, so was the hurt he'd forced upon her.
Reaching her free hand across her body to ruffle Oz's hair, she smiled lovingly when he stirred beneath her soft palm. He opened his eyes slowly, lifting his head and gazing at her affectionately.
"Hey..." He whispered.
"Hey..." As he kissed her hands, she asked, "Buffy?"
Oz shook his head, "Nothing yet. I'm sure she's okay."
Willow nodded, "I hope so." She managed to mask the sad tinge in her voice, "And Angel too. I hope they're together."
"If they are..." Oz leant forward and kissed her lips tenderly, "It's because of you." His eyes sparkled with admiration, "What you did... That was... Courageous." He smiled, "I've never known anyone to be so..." He broke off, unsure how to continue. "You must really care about Buffy."
"Yeah..." She whispered. And it was the truth. She cared about Buffy. In fact, she loved her, being her best friend and all. But mostly, she loved Angel, and if being together was what made both of them happy, Willow could live with that. That sacrifice was an easy one to make. Loving Angel made it easy.
If she had restored his soul... If she had restored his love... Then *that* was the greatest restoration of all.
The End
read the sequal 'Friends... Lovers... Series'