Rated: PG-13
Disclaimer: The characters of Buffy: The Vampire Slayer belong exclusively to Joss Whedon, Mutant Enemy and Warner Brothers. I'm just borrowing.
Part six in the Friends... Lovers... Series.
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"Are you in, Willow?" Angel called into the bathroom.
She called back meekly, "Yup. You can come in now."
The vampire stepped into the bathroom, relieved that Willow's back was to him. It'll be less awkward this way… He knelt down beside the bath, gently taking a clump of her hair in his hand, using butterfly clips to hold it above her hair. "You sure this will work?" He asked.
"I think so…" Willow shrugged, "It was all I could think of with my brain all mushy." Angel smiled behind her, tenderly clipping the small piece of plastic he held in his hands over the medical patch on the back of her head. "Besides, if it gets a little wet, we can just change the bandage. There's a First Aid Kit in the cupboard behind you." Willow stiffened suddenly as Angel's soft hands ran along the back of her neck. She cast a glance into the bubble filled water and cringed red.
Sensing the change in her stance, Angel asked, "What's wrong?"
Willow giggled, "I just realized that I'm in the bath… Naked… With you." She turned her head slightly, and very slowly, "I should be nervous, but…" She seemed genuinely confused, "I'm not."
Angel laughed, "Well, if it makes you feel any better, I'm a nervous wreck back here." Willow laughed with him, and he grinned. Her laugh helped relax him a little, and in some ways, drew him to her. She made him feel. Just feel. And in a good way. Slightly apprehensive, Angel leant forward, pressing his lips to her bare shoulder. He felt a shiver run down her spine and heard a slight gasp escape her lips. It brought a smile to his face. He kissed the back of neck, then moved along to kiss her opposite shoulder. Part of him couldn't resist her…
Turning around in the bathtub to face him, Willow's sweet face was curled into a mischievous gibe. She reached a hand out of the warm water to take Angel's cool hand in her own, bringing it to her lips and kissing it buoyantly. "Angel…" Her voice was a whisper, "I can barely believe this is happening. That you're here, with me." She smiled distantly, her voice unbelieving, "With me."
He eyed her curiously. After everything I did… How can she still want to be near me? "Here…" He reached out and took her shoulder softly, "Let's get your hair washed, huh?" She nodded and turned back around, letting him wet her hair. As he washed it, he did not speak, but his attention was hers, and hers alone. Minutes later, as he washed the last of the conditioner from her hair, he told her, "Buffy's going to stop by after school. With some work. When the sun goes down, I can head off…"
"No!" Willow turned round to face him again. Her head spun for a minute and she paused, clutching it with a wet hand. Surprised at the force in her own voice, she tried to smile, "I mean…" She groaned angrily at herself, "Stay. Please. Tonight at least. If you're hungry, you can go out and get something to eat but…" She looked down into the bubbly water, "Just come back… Please?"
Moved by her genuine desire to be with him, Angel nodded. "All right, Will. But only tonight."
She grinned, "For now." He chuckled in response and she turned back around.
"Er…" He started to get up, "I'll let you finish your bath." He asked nervously, "Um, getting out… Will you need a hand?"
Stomach still swimming, Willow nodded, "Uh-huh."
Angel stammered, "H-how do we do… That?"
Willow looked around the bathroom for a minute then suggested, "What if I wrap a towel around myself… Here in the bath." She smiled nervously, "Then you can help me out *without* seeing… You know."
"Okay." He smiled, backing slowly toward the bathroom door. "Just call… When you're ready."
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Willow relaxed happily into Angel's arms as they lay together, more than just a little thrilled he'd come back, like he said he would, after going out for a few hours to get something to eat. Buffy had stopped by briefly while he'd been away, dropping in some schoolwork and asking her about twenty times if she was okay. "Queasiness is still a problem," Willow had told her, "But apart from that, and a constant headache, I'm okay, Buffy. Really."
She'd reassured her best friend a number of times until eventually, convinced her friend would live to see another day, she'd said her good-byes and left, promising to stop by again in the morning before school. Willow had told her Angel was coming back, and, while Buffy had seemed happy enough that he was taking care of her best friend, she wasn't overtly keen on meeting up with him either. And Willow understood that. Buffy still loved Angel, and seeing him just made her remember that. Willow hadn't mentioned what had happened between her and Angel the night before, or even that day to a certain extent. I don't know how she'll take it. I don't know what she'll say. Willow added sadly, and I don't know what's going to happen next. Does Angel even want to be with me?
Her curiosity took firm hold of her and Willow felt compelled to ask the question that had haunted her all day. "Angel?" His eyes met hers and she continued nervously, "What's going to happen between us now, Angel? I mean, yay with the smoochies, but…" She smiled.
Angel kissed her forehead as she nestled further into his chest in the warm folds of her bed, "I don't know, Will." He looked at her quizzically, "What would you like? I mean… It's up to you."
Willow almost giggled as she replied, "The way I figure it, it's kinda a mutual decision." She winked at him, "After all, if I want you to be my love slave, and wear a…" She thought for a moment, "Like a yellow polka dot bikini all the time, now would you *really* be up with that?"
The vampire laughed, "I guess not."
Beneath him, Willow shuddered nervously for a moment, then ask, dread in her voice, "Angel? Do you wanna be with me?"
"I do." He added sincerely, "Sometimes, I think I wanna be with you too much." He ran a hand through her hair, looking deeply into her eyes. "You make me feel…" Angel sighed, "I don't know how to describe it, but it's…" He smiled, "It's kinda like magic to me."
"Well, magic…" She grinned, almost deliriously happy with his response, "I do magic. I'm a witch. Well, not a witch. But a witch in training. Hence, magic!" Angel's face remained fixed on hers, filled by a surge of exhilaration. Willow eyed him curiously, "What?"
He smiled, "Just that magic feeling again…" Angel leant down, pressing his lips to hers. Willow returned the kiss heartily, running her soft, slender fingertips up his bare chest and gently outlining his cheekbones as she did so. A kind of heat he'd rarely experienced as a vampire filled him. I wanna be with her… Inside his mind whirled through the obvious as his desire started to spread within him. I can't… He remembered suddenly, it only happened with Buffy because I loved her.. Angel's senses were running into overtime as he tried to think, the kiss between he and Willow growing with fierce intensity, but I could love Willow… And she makes me happy… Happy enough to…
Angel broke off the kiss suddenly and Willow looked up at him, confusion dancing across her face. "W-what's wrong?" The flush on Willow's cheeks said it all. The emotions in her eyes were laid out for all to see. She *wanted* him too…
"Willow… I…" He looked away from her, unsure how to go on. Sensing his distress, Willow moved of him quickly and went to sit up, her leg brushing across his crotch. She stopped dead, blushing wildly, now aware of his arousal.
"O-oh…" She whispered, her leg still resting against him. She wasn't sure if she should move or not for a start, her own passions taking quiet hold of her. I made Angel feel like this? She slowly lowered herself back into her original position, half upon him, half on the bed. She reached out, tilting his face back toward her own. She asked nervously, "A-are you worried… That if we, you know… You might, you know?" Angel nodded sadly, "Oh Angel…" She kissed him gently, "W-we don't have to… And I'm not sure anyway… I…" She admitted, embarrassed, "I want to… But…" Now it was her turn to let her sentence die away.
The vampire kissed her again, softly, tenderly. "I could fall in love with you so easily…"
The girl clinging lovingly to him grinned, "Please… Feel free to." She kissed him yet again, "Angel, I'm happy now, just to be with you. Just to lie with you all night and feel you with me… I-I don't need anything else. Just you." She snuggled her head into his chest, closing her eyes, smiling as she savored every second she spent in the vampire's devout embrace.
They lay together like that, bound by the affection passing between them, for hours. Nothing was said, nothing needed to be. She kissed his neck, ran her fingers over his cool, muscular chest. He played gently with her soft hair, kissing her forehead, nuzzling her fringe. Eventually, Willow felts sleep beginning to take hold of her. She whispered to Angel, "This is like that song…"
"What song?" He asked.
Willow's sweet voice began to sing as she drifted off, "Goodnight my Angel to close your eyes… And… Still so many things I want to say… I think I know what… You've been…" She yawned, "Asking me… I… I…" And then she was gone, lost in the deep recesses of sleep.
Angel smiled, happier in that single moment than he had been in all the time he'd been back in Sunnydale. I could fall in love with you…
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"Ssshhh, Willow." Angel looked on helplessly as he pinned Willow beneath him, cooing softly, "I'm not going to hurt you. I give you my word."
Willow could barely speak, "Angel..." She murmured, "Please don't hurt me."
He smiled, "I already told you, Will, I'm not going to hurt you."
She gulped, "Then what are you going to do to me?"
His smile broadened, "Actually…" Angel chuckled gleefully, "I *am* going to hurt you." He pushed himself upon her, kissing her deeply, forcing her lips apart as his tongue invaded her mouth. He tore her pajamas from her body, ripping the soft flannelette material that had covered. His cold hands gripped her breasts, and as he squeezed them roughly, he let his sharp, vampiric nails cut into her flesh. Beneath him, she cried, trying to push him away…
Angel ran a sharp nail down her stomach, slicing open her skin, then down to her thighs…
A rough hand took hold of his hair, yanking him away from Willow and tossing him a few feet away from her like she weighed nothing. Naked and trembling, Willow drew her knees against her chest, sobbing desperately. Angel cast a horrified glance of realization up at her, his soul aching desperately, and then she disappeared. He was in darkness.
He dropped his head into his hands and sobbed desperately. I hurt her again… I hurt her… Worse… Much worse… Willow…
"Oh, Angel…" A melodic voice touched his ears and he looked up, his eyes meeting Jenny's. Crouched before him, she ran a soft hand through his hair. "You hurt her again. You'll just keep hurting her… Unless you leave her right now. Tell her it's over. You can't see her anymore. Besides," she smiled, "Buffy's always been the girl for you."
Confused, Angel stuttered, "J-Jenny… I…"
"Listen to me, Angel." She cut him off. "You love Buffy with all your heart, yet you betray her by seducing her best friend. How can you do that to the woman you love?" She stood and Angel looked up at her. Two bald men in dark robes stood beside her, strange patterns in the place their eyes should have been. He tried to slink away from them, but couldn't move… "Leave Willow, or you'll destroy her. Again."
Angel's eyes snapped open in the darkness. He gazed about the room, unmoving, excepting to see Jenny. He could hear her voice echoing in his mind, "Let her go…" but there was no sign of her.
Still nestled against him, Willow breathed deeply in her sleep. Her sweet aroma filled his nose, and her beautiful face danced into his heart. I hurt her… I hurt her so much… I can't… Not again… Carefully untangling himself from Willow's intimate embrace, he got out of the bed, wandering across the room to the chair by her desk. He silently pulled on his socks and shoes, then his shirt, and made his way to the door. It clicked softly open…
"Angel?"
He paused, fear filling him. "Go back to sleep, Willow."
"Where are you going?" She asked.
He could hear her slowly getting out of the bed, "Just out. I have to go…"
"Why? What's wrong?" She stepped to his side shakily, taking a deep breath to steady her raging stomach. She put a gentle hand on his arm. "Angel?" When he did not turn to look at her, staring out into the night instead, consternation toyed with her. "Look at me…"
Angel sighed heavily, "This can't happen, Willow. I let myself be blinded by my affection for you… But I realize now… I understand that you and I, we can't ever be. Ever. I hurt you…"
Willow shook her head, "No, Angel. That was the past. It's over. Gone. Forgotten. I know you won't hurt me again. Ever."
"You think so?" Angel snapped at her unwillingly. "I know, Willow. I know. I'll hurt you again, and I won't let that happen. I'd rather die."
"Angel…"
He cut her off before she could protest properly, gentle force drowned his voice, "Oz… He loves you. And maybe he doesn't yet, but he *will* forgive you. And when he does, you should go back to him. If I'm with you, you'll just get hurt. You don't want to be with me, you just think you do."
"I know you don't see it now, that you don't understand how I feel... How I can forgive... But I can, Angel. You don't have to push me away." Willow watched him intently through the blurred vision of her teary green eyes.
"It's not that simple..."
Angel fought for the words to explain, but Willow wouldn't hear any more. Her voice verged on hysterical as she stepped closer to him, utter desperation taking hold of it. "Stop that! Angel, it is that simple. I know it is."
Tears began to well up in the vampire's eyes, "I can't be with you. I can't be with anyone..."
Willow grabbed his arm as he turned to walk away, "I'm not anyone, Angel." She whispered pleadingly, "Be with me."
He went to move away again, but she whirled him to face her. Their eyes met, and for the briefest moment, Angel found himself daring to believe that there was nothing that could stand between them. Tears now spilled from his haunting eyes. Willow reached up to wipe them away, but he shrunk away from her. "Please, Willow. This is what's best for you. I know it doesn't seem that way but it is. I destroyed your innocence, broke you heart. Everything you've ever cared about was tainted by me..."
Anger flared passionately into Willow's tear ridden eyes, "Everything I've cared about..." She shook her head, lowering her tired voice, "All the things I've wanted and needed and desired and cherished and loved... They all stem from you, Angel. You are *everything* to me. Nothing and no one else has ever come close to what I have with you." Willow's voice broke into a heart-wrenching sob, "You can push me away and hurt me, even kill me if you want... But I'll never leave, Angel."
Uncertainty plagued Angel's face, but his resolve was shattered by her heartfelt confession. He pulled her against him, burying his head in her hair as she cried. He *wanted* to love her, and he could never deny that, but he could never forgive himself for all that he'd done to her. She could forgive him and blame Angelus until the earth stopped spinning, but he would not forgive and he would not forget. Jenny was right, he had to let her go, and even though hurting her was killing him, he would not change his mind. She was better off without him, and that was all there was to it.
As she began to calm down, Willow pulled back from him slightly, looking up into his handsome face, "Angel, please don't do this."
"It's over." A small sob escaped him, "I'm sorry, Willow." He pulled away from her, "I have to." The vampire turned, making his way out of her room.
"Angel!"
But he did not stop.