Summary: Willow is now a vampire with a very depressed Sire who knows nothing of her life for the past few months.
Disclaimer: I don't own the characters, Joss and Co. do.
Distribution: NHA, SoG, redsoulmates, Willows_Vampires, and anyone else I post to. Other's just ask.
Author's Notes: This is the 5th part of my series. No more songfics unless I get inspired. It is told through Willow's POV. Thanks so much to G for all her help and encouragement with this series, and for the title!
Feedback: You know it! ghoztstarz@yahoo.com
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Yep. This is going to be fun. Us just sitting here, not talking. I've gone over everything in my head that I can remember. I even remember flaying that guy, Warren. I would have thought that would be something my demon would enjoy remembering from my human life. I got nothing. I think there is some thing wrong with me.
"Angel," I say tentatively. He looks up at me. Not into my eyes, but close enough. "I think I'm broken."
Hmm. Maybe I shouldn't have said it like that. He broke down again crying. I should comfort him. Hold him and tell him soothing words. Sure, I'll give it a try. What could it hurt? I scoot nearer to him and gently pull his head to my shoulder. He doesn't resist me. Good. I don't know what I would have done then.
"Shh, it's ok Angel. I'm sorry I said that. It came out wrong," I say soothingly to my Sire. For that's what he is now. My Sire. No longer my childhood friend. No longer the vampire that I had restored a soul to. I'm forever linked to him. I can feel the bond. Strong and connected. Such pain he's in. I feel it wash over me. A tear slips down my face in sympathy for him.
"Angel, please talk to me. Say something. Anything. I don't know how to help you," I say while stroking his hair.
"Willow, I...I'm sorry," Angel says into my shoulder through his tears. He keeps apologizing. I think I know why. I ask, just to be sure.
"Why?" He looks up at me now. Finally he looks into my eyes.
"For what I've done to you. I took your life away and gave you something you didn't ask for. I...I didn't save you," he said. Yep. I was right. Oh my, how do I explain this to him?
"Angel, look. I was dying. I know that. I knew that when I saw you standing over me. If you had let me die I would have gone to hell. Not a place I wanted to be. I've killed a man, Angel. Something God isn't too keen on," I say to him. He looks at me like I'm a stranger now. I should have expected that. He didn't know. No one bothered to tell him about my addiction to magick, or any of it really. I guess we have a lot to catch up on.
"You...when? How?" Angel asks baffled.
I laugh a little. The vampire of few words. 'Cryptic-guy' to the fore. Ok, so laughing wasn't appropriate. He gave me that look. You know, the one that says 'that wasn't appropriate'. I really think I'm broken.
"Sorry. It's a long story. I will tell you, in time. Right now, I need a shower, clean clothes, and some fresh air. Is that ok?" I ask. I don't want to upset him anymore, but I really need to get out of these blood stained clothes. They are kind of sticky. He just nods at me. I think his brain is still stuck on the part about me killing a guy.
"Do you have any clothes I can borrow?" I ask him. Anything right now would be better then what I have on. He points to the armoire on the far wall. He's got a glazed look to his eyes. Yep. Shock will do that to you.
I walk over and pick out a black t-shirt and a pair of sweat pants. Simple, but clean.
"Bathroom?" I ask. He points to a door on the other side of the room. I hate that I made him feel that way. The confusion clouds over me through the bond. I have to shake my head to clear it.
I walk to the bathroom and start the water. I didn't realize how cold I was until my hand touched the hot water. Not chilly cold, but the vampire cold. Room temperature. I turn on the shower, strip, and step in. The water is hot, almost like fire on my skin, but it feels good. I'm soon warm with the heat of the water. I start to wash all the blood off my arm. The cut is fully healed. Just a faint scar. Barely noticeable really. I finish washing my hair and step out of the shower. Finding a towel under the sink I dry off and dress in the borrowed clothes. I feel so much better. What's that saying? 'Cleanliness is next to Godliness'? I giggle at that.
I walk out of the bathroom and see that Angel hasn't moved. I don't know what to do or what to say now. So, I decide to test a few of my new abilities. Just for fun. I let my eyes roam over the room. Even in human visage I can see everything pretty clearly. The bed with the navy blue satin sheets. The dresser with just a few things on it next to the bed. Weapons on the wall. I should have known that. A sitting area off to the side of the bathroom with a bookcase on the wall. All the furniture is tasteful if not...well, brooding. Exactly what one would expect to find in a room occupied by a 256 year old vampire with a soul, working his way to redemption.
I listen carefully now. I can hear the traffic outside the hotel. I can't hear much else. Then I catch a small sound. Like a soft drum. I cock my head to the side and listen more closely. A heartbeat. Hmm. Interesting. I wonder who it is.
"Angel," I say softly. "Who else is here?"
He looks alarmed then. I think he forgot there were others in the hotel besides us. Oh, poor Angel. I almost feel sorry for him. He's been through so much these few hours. Or days. I'm not sure. I'll have to ask him later.
"Oh, uh, that's Cordelia. She uh, is staying here right now," Angel said eying me carefully for a reaction.
I smile broadly and nod. Cordelia huh? Interesting.
"Oh Angel, don't look at me like that. I'm not going to eat her," I say with a little laughter in my voice. He's almost like a child to me. Odd huh? He's my Sire and I feel like playing mother to him. Oh yeah. Something is wrong with me.
"Ok," Angel says and finally gets up off the floor. We are standing a few feet apart from each other now. He is looking me up and down. Taking size? Admiring his work? I don't know.
I decide to step closer to him, close enough to touch him. I reach out and run my fingers along his jaw line, down his neck, and touch where I bit him earlier. His eyes close at my touch. As soon as I bring my hand away he jerks his eyes open and stares at me. I don't think he expected that.
"Angel, how about that fresh air now?" I ask. I really need to get out and stretch my legs.
He looks at me puzzled for a moment. He opens his mouth to say something then closes it again. He does that a few more times before I smile at him and he stops.
"Just ask," I say trying to alleviate his unease.
"It's just...I mean, are you...well, are you hungry?" he asks with a pained look in his eye. I get it now. He thinks I want to go out and hunt. I out right laugh at this. It's funny to me. I seem to have an odd sense of humor now.
"No Sire. I'm not hungry. I don't want to go out to hunt. I want to go out to stretch my legs and get some fresh air," I say still smiling at him. Silly Angel.
"Oh," he says a little embarrassed. "Ok, well, let's go then." He pauses then asks, "You do want me to come along right?"
"Yes, Angel. I do want you to come along. We can talk if you like," I say. He really is like a little kid sometimes. He nods his approval, and we walk out of the room, and down to the lobby. I look around. It's a nice place. I turn back to him and nod to go. We walk out into the night. Just Sire and protege out for an evening stroll. Yeah, right.