Author: Emma
E-Mail: hells_trollop@yahoo.co.uk
Distribution: Angel of Mine, TPWFLD, anyone else please ask first.
Rating: I guess PG-13? It has one or two bad words. I'm sure you'll survive.
Disclaimer: Angel, Willow and co do not belong to me. They are the property of Joss Whedon, Mutant Enemy, and the WB. All characters are used without permission. No copyright infringement intended.
Feedback: Yes please!!!!
Summery: Buffy and Xander want revenge....but it doesn't go according to plan.
< > Indicates thoughts.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Last time on.....Sorry my bad :)
~Willow and Angel on the other hand lived happy ever after in a Buffy and Xander free zone. -Well an almost Buffy and Xander free zone.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The Plan
Buffy was pacing around the small living room of the house she shared with Xander plotting her evil revenge against Willow and Angel. She couldn't believe he choose that....that witch over her. *She* was the slayer. She always got what she wanted.
Sighing she went into the kitchen where Xander was stuffing food down his mouth like it was going out of fashion.
Walking over to him
she pulled a Twinkie out of his mouth and pulled him over to the table.
Once they had settled down Buffy went about telling Xander her plan for
tearing Willow and Angel apart. Xander would profess his undying love for
Willow. It may or may not be true but Willow had loved him for years so
she was sure to leave Angel for him, and Angel would come running back
to Buffy. Screw her marriage to Xander!
Mission: Break Up
Xander walked over to the park knowing Willow would be there. Spotting her he walked over and sat down next to her on a park bench.
"So Will, fancy meeting you here." Xander said.
Willow looked over at him and rolled her eyes. "Yeah, well since I come here every week it wasn't really hard to figure it out."
"Okay, you got me."
"Oh *goody*" Willow said sarcastically. "Why don't we just get this over with. What do you want Xander?"
"Um....okay, Willow I love you." He looked over at Willow who looked like she was gagging. He continued anyway. "I always have. I can't believe I never realized it before. I'm so stupid."
"You got that right." Willow muttered.
"I know you love me too Willow and now we can be together! You can dump dead boy!" Xander said enthusiastically.
Willow jumped up and glared at Xander. Seeing the look on her face Xander got up and started to back away from her.
"Umm, Willow?"
Just as Willow was about to hit him she had a better idea. She told him to go home and send Buffy over so she could talk to her.
Nodding like a whipped puppy dog Xander ran off to get Buffy thinking that Willow was going to tell Buffy how she felt. Trouble is that's exactly what she was going to do.
Picking up her cell phone Willow called Angel and told him what happened, a plan formulating.
Angel smiled down at the phone. Telling Willow he loved her, he headed for Xander's.
~~~~~~~~~
Buffy walked up to the park and meet up with Willow.
"So Will, I guess Xander told you how he felt huh?" Buffy said. "I must take full credit. It was all my idea."
"Really?! Interesting, but I mean it must suck being rejected by two guys." Willow replied smiling. "By the way I'm not leaving Angel. But I have something for you."
"Oh, what that?" Buffy said as she realized angryly that her plan backfired.
"This!" Willow said
as she slammed her fist into Buffy face.
Meanwhile.......
Xander walked out of the house to go and see Willow sure she and Buffy had finished talking, unfortunately it was a fatal mistake.
Before he knew what was happening his legs were kicked from under him and he looked up to find a very pissed off vampire looking down at him, who once again looked totally hot in his leather pants.
"Ahh, Angel." Xander said backed away from him.
"Not so fast prick boy!" Angel said grabbing hold of Xander by the hair and pulling him up. Before Xander had a chance to recover Angel punched him square in the stomach and once again in his face for good measure.
"That was for going after my girl!" Angel said.
He then smashed his head against a nearby wall.
"That was for not telling Buffy about Willow trying to re-do the curse. And this..." Angel said as he pulled out an axe (Borrowed from the Cryptic Ranger.) "...Is for being a total pain in the arse for the last 3 years!"
And with that he proceeded to cut Xander into tiny whiny little bits and feed them to Xander's pet piranhas. He then headed home.
~~~~~~~~~~~
Buffy pulled herself off the ground reeling from the last blow she had received.
"Jesus Willow, you can't fight like this. What's going on?"
"Shut up! It's my story and if I want to be super strong then I can!" Willow said as she repeatedly kicked Buffy in the stomach.
"Now, let's talk about you going after my husband!" Willow said.
Buffy looked up from the ground fearfully and tried to explain. "You..You don't understand it was all Xander's ide..."
"Oh please! Xander's doesn't have enough brains to tie his shoelaces, you really think he could came up with this?"
"Um....yes?"
Rolling her eyes Willow got bored of all the talking and pulled out a chainsaw. (Borrowed for Kim, another beloved MMPBR) She then proceeded to cut Buffy's head off and give it to a couple of vamps to use as a football.
As she was about to head home she noticed someone watching her. She was about to explain what was going on, when they shouted out...
"Oh my god, you killed Buffy. You bitch!....Oh wait you killed Buffy?" Willow nodded her head. "Oh, forget it then, good for you! It was about time that self-centred bitch with bad hair got what was coming to her!"
Smiling happily at that Willow headed home to Angel.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The Aftermath
Willow lay in Angel's arms in their bed."
"So you killed Xander huh?" Willow said.
"Yep, you finish off Buffy?"
"Uh huh." Willow said smiling at the thought.
"Good. You know part of me is going to miss them." Angel said thoughtfully.
Willow looked up at her husband shocked.
"Wait, no I'm not!" He said and started laughing.
Smiling up at Angel, Willow started laughing too. Realizing this is how the world should be.
Buffy and Xander dead in little pieces and Willow and Angel together forever!
THE END!