I hid in a corner of Angel's bedroom for hours, battling my personal demon
   for control of the USS Angel. The mutiny raged and the captain--being
   me--nearly walked the plank.

   Angelus did not stage a direct frontal assault. Instead, he crept in
   behind my defenses, stealing into my subconscious and infringing upon the
   edges of my mind with diabolical patience and cunning. He wove an intricate
   taspestry of suspicion and terror using my deepest fears and insecurities.

   He taunted me, whispering that he only had to wait until time did the work
   for him. Time would erode the barriers of identity between us until we
   merged into one. With his superior strength it was inevitable that he would
   take control.

   The demon let me do most of his work for him. I wore myself out erecting
   artificial barriers. I bristled with vigilance for hours on end while he
   lolled about in the back of our head like a fat, lazy cat.

   I doubted my own sanity and questioned my own thoughts with energy-eating
   paranoia. I considered relaxing once the worst of his assault began to
   lighten up. I convinced myself that he had only been testing my defenses
   and then I let the paranoia nearly eat me alive again.

   Was relaxing his idea or mine? Had he found some way to slip past my
   guard? Had he inserted the thought into my mind? Was it a trap? An
   ambush? Was he waiting there, just over the wall, killing time until I
   lowered my defenses?

   The dull hum of the elevator interrupted my paranoid musings. From the
   other room, I heard Cordelia's voice call my name. "Willow? Are you okay
   down here? I haven't heard from you since yesterday... You know,
   pretending to be Angel doesn't mean that you actually *have* to live in
   isolation like a hermit. You can come out, make small talk, maybe even help
   me with some of the computer work..."

   I allowed her familiar voice to lure me from my hiding spot between the bed
   and the wall. Right then Cordy was a welcome slice of heaven and home, the
   closest thing I had to Sunnydale, family and friends.

   "Willow, are you here? Because this lurking silence is really starting to
   ERRKK!"

   ERRKK?

   I rushed out. Cordelia lay curled up on her side on the ground. Painful
   spasms convulsed her whole body and her arms were wrapped defensively over
   her head. I knelt beside her and lifted her off of the cold, hard floor so
   that she rested on my lap.

   "Cordy, what's wrong?" I asked in panic but she was in too much pain to
   answer. "Are you having a vision?" I babbled. "Because you're supposed to
   be Angel's link to the Powers That Be. Hasn't anyone told them that Angel
   is on vacation?"

   "I guess not," Cordy managed huffily once the vision had passed. She
   sounded annoyed with me and I cannot say that I blamed her. After all,
   listening to babbling on top of a killer migraine could not have made for a
   happy day.

   "What did you see?" I asked, changing the subject.

   Pushing her dark hair out of her face, Cordy sat up off my lap. "Some
   sicko is eviscerating men. I saw leather, and lots of bondage stuff. Oh!
   And organs--internal ones--all over the place!"

   "I'll call Angel!" I exclaimed, leaping to my feet.

   "Not so fast!" Cordy said, standing with my assistance. "This vision had
   your name all over it. Care of Willow, City of Angels, U.S.A."

   "It did?" I squeaked. All sense and sensibility dropped out of my world
   again. How could that be?! Obviously, *I* am not responsible for making
   amends for Angel's demon's sins.

   "You wear the clothes, drive the car, live in the Vamp Cave," Cordy told me
   carelessly. "You pay the bills."

   #

   Despite my skepticism, we went upstairs so that Cordy could write down the
   address the Powers That Be had sent her, along with everything else she had
   seen. While she was writing, Wesley walked in.

   "Good morning!" he greeted with a chipper smile. "How is everyone doing
   today?" Prim, proper Wesley punched the air in a mock parody of being
   primed for a fight. Cordy ignored him, so he turned to me.

   "Morning, Wesley," I said, managing my best Angel imitation. Stern,
   staunch, and somber... I did a pretty good impersonation, if I do say so
   myself.

   "I was just stopping--"

   "Wesley, I had a vision," Cordy interrupted. "We're working here, not just
   standing around like a loathsome waste of space." She cast him a
   significant look, clearly indicating that Wesley equaled space waste. "So
   if you're not helping, you're leaving."

   Cordy indicated the door with her head as an attractive professional
   looking woman with blond hair and blue eyes walked through it.

   "I'm helping!" Wesley protested. He had not noticed the woman. "Give me a
   fact, I'll check it! Give me an errand, I'll run it! Wesley Wyndam-Price,
   rogue demon hunter ERK!"

   ERK again. That last was Cordy's elbow connecting with Wesley
   Wyndam-Price's midsection. The woman did not appear to be disturbed by the
   monologue of our resident 'rogue demon hunter.'

   "Angel, are you busy?" the blond asked. She had a fugitive manner,
   suspicious and guarded, as if she did not quite trust me.

   I frantically tried to match a name to her face from what Angel had told
   me. Seeing my confusion, Cordelia bounded to her feet. "*Kate*!" she
   exclaimed, coming around the receptionist's desk with an overly friendly
   smile. "How have you been, *Kate*?"

   Cordy shot a significant look at the dumb vampire. Gee, thanks for the
   vote of confidence in my perceptive abilities, Queen C... I would have
   gotten it eventually.

   "Kate, how have you been?" I asked, smiling to show that I knew her. I may
   have been un-Angel-icily friendly because Kate looked spooked.

   "Fine." She faked a smile. "I'm good, and you?" She glanced down at my
   gut. My gaze followed hers to my stomach. Huh?

   "Angel is fine, healing nicely from that two-by-four you impaled him with,"
   Cordelia commented with zeal. Her smile was big and white and scary. Never
   mind vampires and crocodile grins. Cordy and enthusiasm are just plain
   terrifying...

   I blinked and abruptly recalled what Angel had told me about his and Kate's
   run-in with Penn, his prodigal childe. Oh! Yikes! This was the woman who
   had run Angel through with a board! I stared at her with newfound respect.

   "Look, can we talk?" Kate asked. "Alone?"

   "Sure!" I squeaked perkily. Then tried to be somber when Kate and
   Cordelia's expressions twisted with bewilderment. Even Wesley looked taken
   aback by my impersonation of Angel-on-nitrous oxide. Note to self: Angels
   do not squeak, nor are they perky.

   "I mean, certainly," I boomed, deepening my voice and falling back on my
   Superman impression. It may have sounded fake but not as bad as "Perky
   Girl" Angel. "Please come this way."

   I gestured and she walked. My office! Darn it! I need to get used to
   thinking of Angel's possessions as my own. This "temporary" situation may
   wind up lasting for a long, long time.

   "Give me a sec," I told Kate once she was inside. She nodded and I quickly
   stepped out and closed the door behind me. Cordy and Wesley were still
   there. They looked up.

   "What's the real scoop on Angel and Kate?" I asked Cordy. So much was
   obviously up with the significant looks, pregnant pauses, and general
   I'm-uncomfortable-and-would-rather-be-anywhere-but-here vibe I was getting
   from Kate.

   "What?" Wesley squawked. "Are you suffering memory problems?"

   "Shut up, Wesley," Cordy told him. She shot him a venomous look that
   threatened his genital. Wesley's stiff upper lip quivered before he fell
   silent.

   Cordelia gave me ~that look~ again. "Angel is crazy about her but he
   doesn't realize how much he likes her," she explained. Wesley's eyes
   widened to pancakes.

   "He is?" I asked, feeling like a wrecking ball had floored me. Outrage hit
   me next. What had happened to Buffy & Angel?! Soul mates, star-crossed,
   and true love forever?!

   Men! How could Angel do this to Buffy! First he left her and then he
   replaced her with the first trollop with a badge that came along?! Where
   was his loyalty?

   OK, maybe Oz-fallout has left me a little overly sensitive but still! This
   was Buffy and Angel we were talking about! And sure, maybe Buffy had moved
   on to Riley but that did not mean that Angel was entitled to do the same!
   He was supposed to wallow in a dark gloom of Buffy-less misery for at least
   a couple lifetimes!

   MEN! GRR...

   Purpose and staunch loyalty to my best friend took over next. I marched
   into Angel's office, filled with a sense of purpose and resolution. I was
   going to nip this blossoming romance in its bud! You just watch!

   Kate was standing and looking out the window when I came in. She turned to
   face me immediately. "Look, Angel, before we go any further, there are
   certain ground rules we need to discuss," she said.

   I blinked. "There are?"

   She nodded. "Yes, there are." I waited. "We both have access to certain
   information and abilities...that are useful in a professional sense...but in
   a personal one I think we need to keep things strictly business." Her words
   sounded like a rehearsed speech that came out jumbled.

   "That's a good idea!" I agreed promptly. "Strictly business!" A vast
   feeling of relief overwhelmed me. I was not going to have to be the
   axe-wielding heartbreaker! Oh joy!

   "That's good!" she said, looking disappointed and forcing a smile. "That
   we agree!"

   Her disappointment made me panic. I began to feel bad for thinking that
   Angel was not entitled to adult friends. After all, he was a very lonely
   person and just because he had come to care about someone did not mean that
   he had necessarily betrayed Buffy. Did it?

   "It's good," she repeated with wide blue eyes.
   Guilt and self-recrimination deleted my control of my mouth. I began to
   feel as bad as if I were personally rejecting her instead of the other way
   around.

   "Good," she said again.

   "Very good!" I babbled, "Because we would be bad. It would be bad. Not
   that I think that you're bad because you're obviously very nice! And
   pretty! But you're not really my type at all and it just wouldn't work!
   I'm on the rebound! My boyfriend--!!"

   I gasped and slapped a hand over my motor mouth. OH GODDESS! What had I
   just said?!

   Kate gaped at me. "Your boyfriend?" she asked.

   "Oz!" I squeaked.

   next