Cordelia entered the hotel, her hand covering a yawn as she stumbled to her desk. She loved talking to Mark, but many more of their all night conversations and she'd be the walking dead. Speaking of walking dead, she thought with a smile as she saw Angel seated at his desk. "Morning, sunshine."
"Cordelia," he said in greeting, not looking up from the book he was studying.
She put her bag down beside her desk, glaring slightly at him. "Must be a real interesting book."
"How did you guess?" he asked, still not looking up.
"Duh! It's huge and looks dusty. I bet that it is even in some obscure language that only you understand. Why else would you find it so fascinating?" she replied, sitting in her chair and seeing Willow's note. She was going to kill the redhead, she decided. Waking her up to just to tell her to ignore the note. She hadn't been able to get back to sleep after the call, finally getting up and taking a shower then watching some very awful cartoons before finally coming to work.
"It is," he said, a slight smile crossing his handsome face at her words.
"If you're going to spend all day reading and ignoring me, can I go home?" she asked hopefully.
"I'm not ignoring you," he said, rolling his eyes before finding his place again. "We need to work on locating that demon."
"You haven't looked at me once since I walked in," she said, pouting. "For all you know, I could be sitting on my desk completely nude!"
"You can turn the air up," he said, chuckling softly, "don't want you to get a cold."
"Hmmph," she said, glaring at him before turning on her computer. "Just so you know, I'm going out for lunch."
"I know," he said, finally looking up and seeing that she was indeed fully clothed, "I saw the note," he explained when he saw her confused scowl.
"Oh, not this," she said, laughing. "Willow's already met yet another man to spend the day with. She dumped me for him. Sounds like she's really interested in this one, for a change. Got all breathless and giggly when she talked about him."
Angel frowned, his hand tightening its grip on the book, "Another one?"
"I swear, I've lost track of all her men," Cordelia said, deliberately teasing Angel. Willow might deny it, Angel might deny it, but she wasn't stupid. Those two wanted each other. Any moron could see it. Right now, Angel looked like he wanted to kill something. Her smile faded as she had to remind herself that he had a soul, that he couldn't kill her for bringing him the bad news. She softened her voice, speaking seriously, "I'm just teasing. She'd been flirted with several times, but this is the first guy that she has actually seemed interested in."
"What happened to the pretty boy college kid?" he asked sharply, thinking that he might just give into his demon and chain her in her room, let her know who she belonged to once and for all.
"Mark?" Cordelia smiled, wondering if he could see how happy she felt, "He's mine, not Willow's. They're friends, sure, but that's it. There are two guys that I've seen or heard her being attracted to. Mark wasn't one of them."
"Two?" Angel asked, raising a brow as he saw Cordelia look away and start fussing with her desk. "Delia, who do you think Willow wants?"
Me and my big mouth, Cordelia thought, knowing that Willow was going to kill her. She had been so caught up in defending Mark and Willow's friendship that she hadn't realized what she had said until it was too late. With a sigh, she looked back at Angel and said, "This Mac guy she's out with today."
"And?" he asked, making a mental To Kill list.
Cordelia rolled her eyes, wondering how anyone so good looking and smart could be so damned stupid, "You."
TOO MANY MEN (22/?)
Angel leaned back in his chair, every thought leaving his mind at Cordelia's statement. One word and he was knocked for a loop. He frowned, his eyes narrowing as he growled, "Don't play with me, Delia."
Cordelia snorted, looking at him in surprise, "Let's think about this a moment, shall we? You-big brooding vampire that could easily kill me soul or no soul. Me--attractive friend of said vampire. What good would it do me to lie, Angel?"
"You must be mistaken," he said, studying her intently.
"I may be wrong about a lot of things in my life, but this isn't one of them. Willow is interested in you. Wants you, lusts for you, might even love you. Does she admit that? Of course not," Cordelia rolled her eyes. "No more than you admit to your own wants and needs involving a certain redhead we both know and love."
"Have you been drinking?" he asked slowly, ignoring her insight into his own heart. Cordelia might be beautiful, but he would never accuse her of being stupid. In fact, she was far too observant for her own good at times.
"Is it so hard to believe that she might have feelings for you?" Cordelia asked softly, watching her boss and friend.
"Honestly? Yes," he admitted quietly. "She knows who I am, Delia. She has seen the demon. Hell, he almost killed her. How could she ever care for me?"
"Because, silly, she's seen the intelligence and the loyalty too. She knows how far you'd go to protect those you love. She's seen the man as well as the demon, Angel. Willow is the smartest person that I've ever met. She knows that that person you became wasn't you," Cordelia said. She saw the stubborn denial in his eyes and sighed, "Angel, she loves you. It might just be as a friend, but I honestly think it's something more. If you need to go off and brood about that, you'd better do it. Ignoring it or denying it won't make it go away anymore than it has made your own feelings for her go away. Deal with it and open yourself up for the chance to maybe find happiness. You deserve it."
"Cordelia," he started to respond to her lecture but stopped when she raised her hand and cut him off.
"Nope. I'm not listening to any excuses or denials. Angel, she could make you happy. Don't let you own doubts or self pity prevent that," Cordelia said. "There. That's my lecture of the day. You can listen to me or not, but I feel a bit better. Now, I'm taking the rest of the day off to spend with Mark. You see, I'm not letting my doubts cloud my judgment. I practice what I preach."
"Is he..does he treat you well?" Angel asked softly, his eyes watching her face as she smiled a large smile, lighting her entire face with happiness.
"Extremely well, though I'm not foolish enough to say that it is going to last. I only just met him and I've learned not to rush into these things," Cordelia said, shrugging. "For now, he makes me happy. He might be the one, he might not. Only time will tell me that. Seriously, Angel, you need to decide if you want Willow or not. When I spoke to her earlier, well, she's met someone that might take that choice away from you. I'd hate to see either of you hurt. You're my best friends, and when you both suffer, I suffer."
"I'll take your advice under consideration," Angel said simply, not admitting anything to the brunette.
"That's all I ask," she smiled, gathering her stuff back up. She went to him, giving him a brief hug and whispering, "Promise me that you won't spend all day brooding alone."
"Get out of here before I put you to work," he said, smiling slightly as she laughed and went towards the door. With a sigh, he closed his eyes, rubbing his head with his fingers as he thought back over Cordelia's words.
TOO MANY MEN (23/?)
Willow looked at the sign and giggled. She glanced at Mac and saw him looking a bit too smug. She rolled her eyes, "Paradise, huh?"
"I always deliver what I promise," he assured her, moving to take her hand. "This is one of my favorite places. No tour of LA would be complete without a visit here."
Willow followed him into the Paradise Art Gallery, looking around with curiosity. "My best friend's mother used to own a gallery. I helped out there a couple of times, but she tended to concentrate on statues and objects and stuff. World wide, you know?"
"Claire loves paintings though you will find the occasional statue from some local talent she has discovered," Lindsey said, his eyes watching Willow.
"Claire?" Willow looked at him, wanting to ask how he knew the woman, if she was an ex-girlfriend or even a current girlfriend. Willow frowned slightly as she realized that she had not even asked if he was single.
"Claire Van Owen. She runs the gallery as well as the small cafe and gardens in the back," Lindsey smiled. "They make the most delicious sandwiches and soup."
"You can't already be hungry." Willow said, laughing as he described the food. "Mac, we only just ate."
"I'm a growing boy," he defended with a lazy smile. "Besides, I tend to forget to eat during the week. Snacks that I buy from Kathy's but not many meals. My weekend is when I catch up."
"That's not very healthy," she scolded, "food is very important. You need to take care of yourself."
He smiled softly, his eyes catching hers, "Maybe I just need someone to take care of me."
Willow licked her lips nervously as his eyes darkened, not able to respond to his teasing. Honestly, she was no longer certain that he was teasing. Her entire body was on edge as she waited for him to touch her, to kiss her. Instead, he looked away quickly, his hand running through his hair as he moved away from her. She let out her breath slowly, waiting for her heart to slow down before moving behind him. She said his name questioningly, "Mac?"
Lindsey heard her and sighed, wondering why he was acting so foolish. First proposing to her on the street and now propositioning her to take care of him. He was perfectly fine as he was. He was respected and feared at work, making more than enough money to keep him in wine and caviar until old age. He had a fantastic loft with every convenience he could possibly buy. He had a new sports car that purred under his touch. He had women throwing themselves at him during every party and event that he was forced to attend. Why had Willow affected him? What was it about her that caused him to evaluate his life and come up lacking? When had he become so miserable and lonely?
"Mac?" Willow called again, watching as he finally turned to her, his eyes changing as he gave her a smile.
Lindsey held out his hand to her, his smile curving into a sexy grin as he drawled, "Let me show your Paradise, Willow."
TOO MANY MEN (24/?)
A sea of sharp, bold colors swam before Willow's eyes. She turned her head to one side then another as a small frown crossed her face. She was so intent on studying the painting in front of her that she didn't realize she was no longer alone until Mac spoke.
"You look confused," he said softly, not wanting to disturb her but also slightly jealous of the attention she was paying on the canvas in front of her.
"This is a mess," she decided before looking around to make sure no one had heard her. The last thing she wanted to do was offend some art patron with her amateur views.
"Why do you think that?" he asked, turning his attention to the painting.
"Well, look at it. It's just a bunch of colors. I mean, c'mon, at least put some sort of something into the painting. I like abstract, but this is more like preschool art class," she explained. "But that's just my opinion. I tend to be more of a solid shape kind of girl. Splashes of paint just do nothing for me really."
"I can see your point," he said slowly, thoughtfully. "I've seen much better from this artist, actually. The colors are vibrant, signifying life. The way they mix and blend, stroke touching stroke, she's trying for thought provoking. But, see how they run here and here," his fingers brushed above the painting as he spoke, his eyes catching hers, "she got sloppy. It looks like she was in a hurry to finish, either because of her show or maybe it quit talking to her. Regardless, the haste ruined her statement. She wasn't able to define what she wanted it to say. Shame really. It started off rather well."
"You can see all that from a bunch of messy colors?" Willow said in surprise. She watched him smile in slight embarrassment and had to laugh, "I wish I had your talent. Now see, this one I like," she said, taking his arm and moving them down several paintings. Once they stopped, she didn't move her hand from the crook of his elbow, instead pointing at the painting. "This I can identify."
Lindsey moved forward, studying the painting. He rather liked the warm feel of her palm against his flesh. It was the first time she had touched him all afternoon. He wasn't about to risk her dropping her hand. It was a watercolor, a sea scene. Choppy waves crashed onto an isolated beach as the moon show full in the sky above. The sky was gray and stormy, the overall scene giving the impression of rough weather ahead. Surprised, he looked at her and saw her smiling, "You like this one?"
She nodded, "It's beautiful. Your messy color painting over there can signify whatever it wants, but, to me, this is life."
"A stormy night?" he asked with curiosity.
"Yeah," she smiled, "think about it, Mac. You're standing on the beach, both feet firmly planted on the ground. Danger lurks in the sky above, in the dark choppy water in front of you. Behind you is your car or your house, somewhere safe. That's all life really is, isn't it? Keeping yourself balanced between the safe and secure and the dangerous and unknown. It all depends on your perception of where you are on that beach. Some people are in the car or house while others are swimming deep in the dangerous waters. Most are somewhere in between, closer to one than the other. The storm clouds, though, are reality. No matter where you are in life, how safe or daring you think your life is, uncontrollable dangers always lurk near, threatening to knock you on your butt in the sand."
He smiled, shaking his head, "And you were impressed that I could tell where a couple of colors ran together."
She felt a slight blush cross her cheeks, "I'm sorry. This painting just really made me think." She didn't go into specific details on how she had related Angel to being the safe, secure shore and Mac to being the dangerous unknown waters and herself being torn between the two. There was no need to get into her own messed up mental problems so early into their first date. Wait, was this a date? They had met, had breakfast, driven to the gallery where they had had coffee before spending nearly two hours wandering amongst the paintings, discussing various subjects and learning more about each others. Was that a date?
"It is beautiful," he agreed, his attention moving from her to the painting. With a smile, he looked back at her, "Are you about ready to leave?"
She shrugged, hesitant for their time together to end but assuming that he must be tired of her company, "I'm sure you have plans, it being Saturday afternoon and all."
"Well, since I've taken you to Paradise, I thought if only fitting that I now take you to Heaven," he said slowly, trying not to show her the fear that she would say that she had to leave him now.
"Heaven?" she smiled, realizing that he had no plans for their afternoon to end yet. "Dare I ask?"
"It's a surprise," he winked at her, "just trust me."
"I think I can do that," she said softly, knowing the truth in the words. She hardly knew Mac, but over the afternoon, she had learned enough to know that she trusted him.
"Let me go find Claire and let her know we're leaving. I have a few things to discuss with her, but I shouldn't be ten minutes," he decided.
"Take your time," Willow smiled, "I'll just sit down and look at some more paintings and try to pretend that I'm not trying to figure out what Heaven is."
"I'm not telling," he said with a laugh as he turned and went to find Claire.
TOO MANY MEN (25/?)
"It's open," a soft voice said after two knocks.
Lindsey walked into the office, shutting the door behind him, "Hello, Claire."
"Lindsey," the beautiful blonde smiled at him, getting to her feet as she took his hand. She kissed the air above his right cheek before sitting back down. "Did you enjoy your visit?"
He nodded as he sat opposite her, "As always. That new girl, Oliviera, has promise. Good strokes, good use of color, just not a lot of follow through."
"She has gotten better," Claire said, her brown eyes studying Lindsey. "I will show you some of her new work when I receive it."
"I'll look forward to it," he smiled.
"Who is your friend?" Claire asked with a small smile, having spent several times observing the redhead with her old friend.
"Willow?" he shrugged, "I'm not quite sure yet."
"She's different," Claire observed, waiting.
"I promised myself that I would never use you, but there's something about her," he said softly, running a hand through his hair. "She makes me forget who I am."
"Or maybe she makes you remember who you really are," Claire watched his face. "She is very strong, Lindsey. Her soul is powerful. Her colors are vibrant, bold. There are some shadows, clouds that I cannot see through, but she does not let them cloud her mind."
"She thinks I'm an out of work painter," Lindsey said softly, watching Claire's eyes widen in surprise. "I never corrected her impression. I get a feeling that she would never have let herself get involved with Lindsey MacDonald, attorney, the way she has with Mac."
"You're playing a very dangerous game, Lindsey," Claire said. "I believe that you're right, though. She would have nothing to do with the Lindsey MacDonald that most of the world knows. She is everything that Wolfram and Hart isn't."
"You're telling me," he said quietly, looking into Claire's eyes, "I think I could be falling in love with her. How crazy is that? I just met her today. I mean, I've seen her around a couple of times before, but today was the first time we spoke. I just can't get her out of my head."
"She's human," Claire said, "but there is an aura around her, magic and the presence of supernatural. She is not a demon though, nor has she put you under any sort of spell. What you're feeling, it's really you."
"What do you think?" he asked after a moment of silence.
"I think that you need to do some serious thinking, Lindsey. You're not happy. You haven't been for the last year. Today, with her, you were happy. What would you risk, what would you give up, to keep that feeling?" Claire asked. "I will warn you of one thing, because you are my friend."
"What?"
"She can hurt you," Claire said softly.
"I know," Lindsey shook his head, giving her a smile, "I didn't want to ask if you saw anything, I was going to just say hi and give you some news, but I couldn't resist. I hate not knowing what I'm doing, acting without thinking. I am not impulsive. I just needed to know that she was real, that it was all real. Call me jaded, but I've dealt with bastards for far too long not to wonder if anything that happens isn't a set up."
"I can tell you that she has no idea what you do, that she is not with you out of deceit, that she enjoys being with you," Claire had to smile as he smiled at her.
"Really?" he smiled. "Enough," he decided as he stood. "I wanted to let you know that we received your monthly payment from your ex-husband. It was transferred into your account yesterday."
"Not good, Lindsey. Business can wait until Monday," Claire smiled at her lawyer.
"Also," he reached into his back pocket and pulled out his wallet. "There's a painting that I want to buy. A watercolor, stormy sky and ocean. Do you know which one?"
She nodded, "Yes. It's untitled, by a Goragan demon. It's always been rather peaceful to me."
"I want it," he handed her a credit card.
"Dangerous, Lindsey. Not asking the final price," she watched him carefully.
"It's a gift. The price isn't important," he shrugged, knowing that she could see far more than he wanted her to.
"I'm certain that Willow will love it," she smiled as she left the office, moving to the credit card machine.
"I'll come by and pick it up later," he said, taking his card back. He signed his slip, noting that she had charged him only five hundred dollars though the price had been listed as eleven hundred.
"It will be ready for you," she smiled as she watched him start to leave, calling out, "Be careful, Lindsey."
"I'll see you later, Claire," he said, rolling his eyes at her warning as he headed down the stairs to find Willow.
TOO MANY MEN (26/?)
"That was wonderful," Willow said as she finished the last piece of her slice of apple pie. She laughed as she put her fork down, looking at Mac, "You know, you can't continue feeding me like this."
He smiled as he took a sip of his coffee before he replied, "You could use a little weight so stop complaining. Besides, you haven't needed any forcing."
"I have very little will power when it comes to food," she admitted with a sheepish smile.
"Just for food? Too bad," he said with an amused smile.
"Quit flirting," she scolded, proud that she had built up a blushing resistance to him during their day together. She was getting used to him, having realized that flirting to him was the same as breathing.
"You just try to take away all of my fun," he said with a wink as he stretched. He glanced at the clock hanging on the wall of A Little Slice of Heaven, the bakery and pie shop that he had taken her to. He was surprised to see that it was already after nine. He'd been with her more than half a day.
"I'd never do that," she said, her eyes widening when she saw the time. "It's that late? I hadn't realized."
"Did you have plans?" he asked, his tone even though his eyes were narrowed with jealousy.
"Nothing definite," she said, "but I was planning on helping my friends. I'm sure they expected me hours ago. I've gone all day."
"Should you call them?" he asked, knowing that it would take them a while to get her back home.
"No, I'm sure they're fine. I think they were going out to dinner anyway," she said, knowing that Cordelia had mentioned meeting Mark. Angel, on the other hand, was probably furious with her for not phoning. He worried more than a strict parent she had realized over the last few weeks.
"I guess that means we should get back," he said, reluctant to let their day end. He wondered if he would see her again, knowing that he wanted to, but also knowing that the game he was playing was dangerous. He could run into someone from the firm at anytime, or worse, a client. Somehow he didn't think Willow would be understanding of his failing to mention that he was not a painter but was instead a rising associate with a prestigious law firm. Yet again, he felt himself wishing that he was the poor painter she believed him to be. He'd been in a rut at work for the past few months, no longer able to ignore what he had become. The majority of his clients were evil, demons that should be destroyed not defended. He'd lost his focus, lost the desire to win at all cost, lost everything that made him the best. Now, he was acting. Trying to conceal his contempt towards those he was hired to protect. Knowing that he had given up his chance to get out, made the wrong choice. It had been his choice, though, and he would live with the consequences. Being with Willow, though, made him wish he had chosen differently. He wanted to be someone she could love.
"Yeah, I guess so," she agreed softly, watching his face as he grew thoughtful. Would she see him again? Or would she just have the memory of this magical day?
"Are you ready?" he asked, paying the check and walking her to his car. He still had several hours before he planned to contact Angel, set up a meeting with the vampire to see if he had figured out anything about the file he had given him. He knew he was riding an edge, giving confidential information to the enemy. If he were caught, he would not only lose his job but he might have to pay with his life. Was it worth it? Letting that bastard play dogood savior just to ease his own conscience? He had thought for days before contacting Angel. He had gone down this path once before, almost losing everything. Now, he was risking it all again. This time, though, he was being smart. Going slow, being careful. Not jumping in to sink or swim. No, this time he was cautious. He had learned from his previous mistakes.
Willow listened to the radio as they drove, both of them silent and lost in thought. The day had been wonderful. She knew that she would gladly see him again if he asked. She could easily fall in love with Mac, which was so confusing because she was already in love with Angel. Why did these things always happen to her? Why couldn't her life be normal just once? She looked at Mac and smiled, "Can you just drop me off at the store? I need to pick up a few things before I go home."
He glanced at her before changing lanes, "I can take you home afterwards. I don't have any plans."
"No, that's all right," Willow said, not wanting him to take her to the hotel.
"You don't want me to know where you live," he said softly, his eyes flashing hurt at her distrust.
"It's not that," she said, leaning against the window. "My friends are a bit overprotective. I don't want to share you with them yet."
"Really?" he felt himself smiling at her confession, glancing at her and seeing the courage it had taken for her to admit that. "I don't mind you keeping me to yourself, for now."
"Thank you," she said softly, giving him a small smile as he drove.
TOO MANY MEN (27/?)
"Well," Willow said, looking at Mac then looking at the sky.
"Are you sure you don't need a ride home?" he asked again, glancing at his watch. "It's after ten."
"I'll be fine," she looked at him and smiled, touched by his concern. "This is when I usually come to the store, anyway."
"I know," he smiled as he remembered seeing her only a few nights before. He couldn't believe they had only really met that day. It seemed like he'd known her forever.
"Thank you for today," she said softly, chewing on her bottom lip. She wasn't really sure what to say. They hadn't really been on a date, having just met. Yet, they'd spent the entire day and most of the night together. He'd brought her to the store, walking with her as she had made her purchases. She'd been glad to see someone she didn't recognize working. She didn't really want to answer any questions at the moment, not sure if she even knew the answers.
"It was my pleasure," he responded honestly. "I had fun."
"You sound surprised," she said with a smile. "Do you not usually have fun?"
"Honestly? No," he said. "I rarely allow myself the pleasure of just enjoying life. Today, though, with you, I forgot everything else but living."
"You know, there are times you sound unlike any painter than I've ever met," she said thoughtfully, "not that I've met many. You know what I mean."
"Ah, Willow, there you go, judging everyone by your own preconceived notions of what they should be like," he scolded playfully, trying to cover for his lapse. He'd forgotten too well, he realized, almost not maintaining the act of being some poor painter.
"I wasn't judging, merely observing," she clarified.
"Well, I'll just say that I try to never be predictable. Always keep them guessing, that's my motto," he said.
She nodded, saying, "Now that doesn't really surprise me all that much."
He smiled as he leaned against his car, knowing that it was getting later and also knowing that she was stubborn enough not to let him drive her home no matter what the hour. He had some things to take care of, but he didn't want to leave. He watched her move her plastic sack to her other hand, her eyes on him, seeing into his very soul he would swear. He sighed, giving her a small smile, "You should go before it gets too late."
"Yeah, my friends are probably getting worried," she said not sure what she should do. She finally held out her hand, smiling, "I really enjoyed seeing LA through your eyes, Mac. Thank you for showing me so many neat places."
He looked at her hand then at her then back. He took it, not able to ignore the attraction that he felt any longer. He pulled her towards him suddenly, her body colliding with his. A slow smile crossed his handsome face as he leaned over and gently brushed his lips over hers. He ran his fingers along her cheek, asking, begging, "Can I see you again, Willow?"
Willow felt herself nodding as she rested her cheek against his hand. Her lips were tingling from the small kiss he had given her, part of her cursing him for not making it more explorative, another part of her still so confused by her growing feelings for Mac mixed with her current feelings for Angel that she was glad he had stopped. She didn't want him to know where she was staying, knowing that involving him with her life would make things too difficult at the current time. She was a coward, she knew, but being with Mac had been almost like a dream, so perfect it seemed unreal. It was her escape, in a way. She was selfish enough to want to keep it that way for a while longer, at least until she understood what she was feeling and made some decisions. "I think I'd like that."
"Can I call you?" he asked.
"I'll give you my cell number," she said, giving him a shy smile. "I don't leave it on most the time, but it has voice mail. I check it every few hours, well, not today because I left it in my room thinking I'd only be gone an hour for breakfast but normally I have it."
"Write it down for me?" he asked, leaning into his car and finding a pen and piece of paper. He would have given her his numbers, but every machine or voice mail he had contained his real name. If he continued seeing her, which he suspected was going to happen, he'd just buy a new cell phone just for Willow to call. He frowned as he realized that he'd eventually have to tell her the truth. So far, he hadn't really lied. He'd omitted some very important details and had not denied her own beliefs, but he had never technically lied. For some reason, he found himself not wanting to lie to her. Somehow, he seemed to know that she would find a flat out lie far more difficult to forget than many other things.
"Here," she handed it back to him, saying again, "I really did enjoy today, Mac."
"Me too," he said, tucking the piece of paper with her number into his pocket. He smiled as he moved to get into his car, saying, "Be careful going home, Willow."
"I will," she smiled as she watched him get in and drive away, waiting until he had turned the corner before she turned and headed back to the hotel, her mind already wondering what Angel would say about her being gone all day without calling. Somehow, she doubted it would be good.
TOO MANY MEN (28/?)
Angel shut the book as he glanced at the clock. It was nearly midnight and Willow still wasn't home. She'd been gone an entire day with a stranger that she'd just met. He was worried that something might have happened to her, angry that she hadn't called if she was fine, and confused after his conversation with Cordelia earlier. All in all, it hadn't been one of his best days. He was planning on searching for the Triaakan demon, Gunn and Wesley having left to begin a search hours before. Instead, he was sitting at his desk waiting for Willow. He knew that he should just go, but he couldn't leave until he knew that she was all right.
If he were completely honest, he also wanted to look into her eyes to see if Cordelia was right. He knew that she was attracted to him, her arousal the previous evening confirming that suspicion. Part of him doubted it, though. Despite her arousal, he couldn't believe someone as wonderful as Willow would ever want to be with him. She knew more about him than anyone except Buffy. Actually, considering their long talks the last weeks, she probably knew more than his ex love. The relationship with Buffy had never really been about talking. Willow, however, was one of his best friends. Would that make a difference if he tried to begin a relationship with her? He didn't know why he was bothering to think about it. She might want him, but she couldn't be in love with him.
She'd spent an entire day out with some guy that made her breathless and giggly, according to Cordelia. Girls in love did not spend hours with other men. He growled softly as he stood, kicking the trashcan as he imagined what she might have been doing with the guy. He knew that Willow wasn't the type to have sex on a first date, especially not with some stranger, but that knowledge didn't keep his demon from taunting him with vivid images of her laughing and touching some other man. He had lost any chance with her because he had been scared, he had stayed silent instead of speaking about his growing affection and feelings for her. Now, it might be too late. If he said anything, she could think that he was just reacting because she was dating someone, just trying to get her to stay with him. If he didn't say anything, he'd lose any chance of being happy with her.
He heard the key in the door and froze, trying to push his demon away. He didn't want to scare her. This was not a good time for an argument, or for talking at all. He was near the edge and wasn't sure how much control he actually had at the moment. Hours spent lost in thought could do that to a guy. He turned to look at her as she came into the lobby, relieved to see that she was indeed okay. Anger set in after the concern faded as he asked, "Did you have a good time?"
Willow jumped at the sharpness in his voice, not at all surprised by his anger. She sighed, apologizing, "I'm sorry it's so late. Time got away from me."
"You could have called," he said, closing his eyes briefly as he realized how sullen he sounded.
"I honestly didn't think about it, Angel," she said sincerely. "I was having fun and assumed that I'd be back earlier. I'm sorry."
"That doesn't fix anything, Willow," he snapped, relenting when he saw her eyes, "I was worried."
"I know," she whispered, feeling guilty as looked at the floor. She'd spent a fantastic day with Mac at the expense of making Angel worry about her. She was so confused, and she was getting a terrible headache.
"That was so dangerous, Willow. Going off with some stranger," he shook his head, "that's the second one since you've been here. I thought you were more careful, smarter than that."
"I was careful," Willow said softly, knowing that she really hadn't been. She'd allowed her attraction to Mac to lead her into his car, which could have been as dangerous as Angel said. She had been lucky that he had been honest, that he had been affected by this weird connection as much as she.
"I don't want to argue, Willow. You're not a child and I shouldn't have to treat you as one," he moved to get his coat. "I waited to go out until I knew you were safe. I've got to go."
"Angel," she followed him, "don't leave it like this. I can't have you angry with me."
"I'm not angry," he denied, looking into her pretty eyes, "I was worried, Willow. Far more than I should have been. Do you understand?"
She shook her head, pushing her hair away from her face, "Not really. You always worry about us, just like Buffy."
"Not at all like Buffy," he said quietly, his eyes flashing as he looked at her. He moved forward without realizing it, his fingers lifting her chin. "I was jealous, Willow. Jealous of some faceless human that got to spend an entire day with you. Worried that you were hurt, that you might actually like him, that you wouldn't come back."
"Oh," she said softly, licking her lips as she tried to think of a response, not able to look away from the intense expression in his dark eyes. Could he be saying what she thought he was saying? Was he jealous because he might have lost his friend or was it far more than that?
"You still don't get it," he said softly, moving his thumb over her cheek. She was so beautiful. He watched her eyes flash at his touch, again seeing the arousal from the previous night. Looking past that, he saw something else. Without regard to consequences, he leaned over and brushed his lips over hers. With a growl, he pulled her into him, deepening the kiss as she responded to him. He claimed her mouth as his hand cupped her jean clad ass cheek. He finally pulled away, seeing the confused green eyes and swollen lips as she shakily ran a hand over her hair. "Do you finally understand?"
"Yeah," she whispered as her heart continued to beat at twice the normal speed.
"Good," he smiled slightly as she seemed to be trying to deal with the new development. He put his coat on as he said, "I've got to go. We'll talk tomorrow. Get some sleep, Willow. You've had a busy day."
Willow watched him leave, waiting for the door to close before she slid to the floor, her legs no longer able to hold her. She sighed as she laid on the floor, thinking about her wonderful day with Mac and the feelings she was having for him, about her growing relationship with Angel, ending with that electrifying kiss. She had feelings for them both. She wanted them both, loved Angel and could very well love Mac if given time. She stared at the high ceiling overhead as she sighed softly and asked the empty room, "What do I do?"
~Part: 29~
Willow finally stood, running a hand over her face. How had this happened to her? In love with her best friend’s ex boyfriend. Maybe in love with a stranger. Two men. It hadn’t been many weeks since her relationship with Tara had ended, now this. Oh God, Angel had kissed her. She leaned against the stair railing as she touched her lips, her body heating up as she remembered every detail of the brief but passionate kiss. He’d been jealous of her spending the day with Mac. Angel had feelings for her. Why couldn’t she have learned that before she’d met Mac and started to fall for him? Why did her life have to be so damn complicated? She entered her room, falling on the bed as she sighed. What was she going to do? The logical part of her brain told her that she should just forget Mac and the what might have beens. She’d just met him, had only spent a day with him. She’d known Angel for years, had been half in love with him for as long. She wanted him more than she could remember wanting anyone ever. But being with Angel was complicated. She would be selfish if she thought otherwise.
Willow reached across the bed for the phone, knowing that Angel had told her not to worry about long distance while she was staying. She dialed the familiar number, smiling when she heard the voice of her best friend.
"Hello?"
"Buffy, it’s me," Willow said, laying against the pillows as she heard Buffy squeal.
"It’s about time, Willow!" Buffy scolded. "I was beginning to think you’d forgotten us. It’s been forever since you’ve called."
Willow laughed, "I talked to you three days ago."
"Well, that seems like forever," Buffy defended. "You sound weird. What happened?"
"How is everyone?" Willow asked, avoiding answering the question. She’d needed to talk to Buffy, but now didn’t think she’d be brave enough to talk about what was really bothering her.
"They’re fantastic, wonderful, having a great summer. Now, what’s wrong?" Buffy demanded, knowing from years of experience that something was bothering her best friend. She had a sneaky suspicion what it was, but she didn’t want to mention anything in case she was wrong. After their last phone call, she’d hung up with the realization that Willow was in love with Angel. She didn’t know how her ex felt about the redhead, but she couldn’t really imagine anyone not loving Willow so she had a pretty good idea. This was the first time they’d spoken since she’d figured it out, and she was wondering if something had happened between her friend and the vampire.
"It’s kind of complicated," Willow admitted, looking at the ceiling.
"Well, I’ll do my best to uncomplicated it," Buffy said.
"I didn’t mean for it to happen, so please don’t hate me," Willow said softly.
"I could never hate you, silly. You’re my best friend," Buffy said honestly. "Now, is this about you being in love with Angel?"
"You knew," Willow had to smile, wondering how Buffy could seem so self involved but still have such an uncanny way of knowing her friends.
"I suspected," Buffy corrected. "Does he feel the same?"
"Is this too weird for you?" Willow had to ask. "I don’t want to hurt you, Buffy."
"It’s all right, Willow. I’ve had time to get used to it. Honestly, I’m not that surprised. You two always had such a good relationship. I just never really saw it, I guess," Buffy said quietly. "I want you to be happy."
"It’s more complicated than you think," Willow said with a sigh. "I met this guy, Mac, at the corner store. He’s gorgeous, charming, an artist. I spent all day with him, just talking and hanging out."
"Wait, what happened to Angel?" Buffy asked, wanting Willow to be happy but also caring enough about her ex boyfriend that she didn’t want him hurt either.
"That’s the problem. I love him, Buffy. I mean, I’ve always had a bit of a crush. Who wouldn’t? He’s so handsome and smart and just, you know…" Willow trailed off, "I never imagined that he saw me as anything but your best friend. Tonight, when I got home, he was waiting for me. He was jealous. He kissed me, Buffy. And now everything is confused."
~Part: 30~
"Poor Willow," Buffy said, having a good idea now why her friend had called her. "This Mac guy, it sounds like you liked him."
"He’s special. I can’t explain it, but when I met him, it seemed like we’d known each other before. Does that make sense?" Willow asked.
"It does. You have feelings for him," Buffy sighed. "You’re right. It is complicated. Willow, I can’t tell you what to do."
"I know," Willow made a face. "I should have just stayed at home."
"Don’t say that," Buffy warned. "You’re just confused. You don’t have to have all the answers right now. You’re young and single and beautiful. Why not date them both before making a decision? You’re feelings for Angel seem deep and sincere, but being involved with a vampire, even one with a soul, may not be what you expect. And this Mac guy could turn out to be a frog instead of Prince Charming."
"Rather not think about frogs, Buffy," Willow said as she laughed. "You’re right."
"I am?" Buffy beamed, "Can I get that in writing?"
"I miss you," Willow said with an affectionate smile. "Really, how is everyone?"
"Well, Dawn is enjoying the summer. She’s spent nearly everyday at the beach with her friends. Xander and Anya are doing well. He just got promoted at work, making more money and he seems to like the added responsibility. Anya is driving Giles nuts, but she brings in money so I guess he can’t complain. Giles is okay, still a bit protective over all of us. And I’m doing good. Better than I would have thought," Buffy stopped, finally asking what had been weighing on her mind since she had realized her friend’s feelings for Angel. "You won’t be coming back, will you?"
"What are you talking about?" Willow demanded, eyes widening as she realized Buffy was right.
"You won’t be coming home at the end of the summer," Buffy said quietly, her voice sad but resigned. "Both of your men live and work in LA. No matter which one you choose, you’ll be staying."
"I honestly hadn’t thought that far ahead," Willow said. "I’d rather not think about that, Buffy. Besides, I could end up losing them both. I’ll be coming home. I promise."
"No, don’t do that," Buffy said as she wiped away a tear. "Don’t make promises you can’t keep. It’s okay, Willow. LA isn’t that far away, you know? We can write and call and visit on the weekends. I had to lose you someday, I guess. So, do you know what you’re going to do?"
"I have no idea," Willow said, the realization that Sunnydale might not be her home anymore adding to the confusion she was already feeling. "I can’t lose Angel. What I feel for him, the friendship, the way he makes me feel…."
"Whatever you decide, know that I’ll support you. If you need to talk, you’ ve got my number," Buffy reminded. "I’d better go get some sleep. Are you okay?"
"Yeah," Willow said. "It helped, talking to you. I love you, Buffy."
"I love you, too, Willow," Buffy said with a smile. "Try to get some sleep. And don’t over think things the way you always do. You’ll make the right choice. I have faith in you."
"I’m glad someone does," Willow said. "Goodnight, Buffy."
"Night, Wills."
Willow hung up the phone, getting to her feet as she decided to take Buffy’s advice. It was time to get some sleep. She went to the dresser, getting her sleeping clothes from the top drawer. It was then she noticed that she had a voice mail on her cell phone. She clicked the button to retrieve her message, a smile crossing her face as she heard Mac’s voice. He wanted to see her again, leaving a number where she could reach him. She sighed as she wrote the number down, erasing the message before yelling at the empty room, "Why me?"