Part 11 Homesick

Willow POV

I have been back for a week now and I want to back to LA. Tara and I
broke up. She understands things with Angel. I have to talk to Giles about my
connection with Angel. Giles has been trying to learn as much as he can about
this bond. I have missed Giles so much while I was gone.  I mean Giles is
like a father to me, only more. He was my first real crush.  He saw my
potential when no one saw me.  He has helped me so much in the last few
years. He has been my mentor, and my first kiss. I still don't believe I did
that.  I can remember that day clearly.  He had been reading a prophecy and
was drinking. I remember the taste of bourbon on him. Jenny had died
recently. I went by the library to see him.  We talked. I was asking him
about what to do with Oz and my sort of liking him.  I remember Giles told me
to kiss him.  I remember telling Giles I hadn't done that before. I remember
him! telling me to follow his lead. That was the best kiss ever, ok, next to
Angel's.  Giles and I pretend that it never happened. I need to ask Giles if
he will train with me. I don't feel like taking on a slayer.

I don't know what to do. I mean Angel has asked me not to tell Buffy
about his soul. He is afraid that she will turn the happiness Riley gives her
away. After the round of 20 questions about Angel, I think he may be right.
We talk daily I am glad that the visions aren't too bad.  They do have some
crappy timing, but I have managed. My stalker is still here. I had a vision
the other day, and Graham was ready to take me to the campus health office. I
told him it was a migraine.  He believed me. Xander and Anya are doing good.
I like having the dorm to my self.  Buffy is always with Riley, which is
nice. I feel guilty about my connection with Angel. I am just getting ready
for bed when Buffy comes into the room with Riley.

"We Bronzing tonight?" Riley asks.

I see Buffy's eyes light up. "Yeah, I could use some Bronze."

I now they are waiting for me to jump at the offer.  "I was going to do
some studying." I say. I know if I express interest that Graham will
definitely be there.

"There will be time for that later." Riley says.

I feel the trapdoor shutting now. "Graham will be there." Buffy says.
Bam, the trap is sprung.

"That's nice, but I not really in the mood." I say politely.  Buffy tells
Riley she will meet him there. Buffy keeps nagging me, so finally I relent. I
giggle as the idea comes into my head. I shower and then go into my closet. I
pull the box out and smile. The smell of leather is intoxicating. I remember
Angel taking me undercover as a vampire to stop a wannabe boss.  The spell
had given me a game face. It took me a while to not be self conscious about
the dominatrix-leather look. I slid the tight leather pants on.  I grabbed
the sheer green peasant blouse and the black leather corset.

"Willow, C'mon, we are going to be late." Buffy chimed. I turned around
to see her jaw drop. "Willow, what's with the getup?"

"Buffy, I just want to wear something different tonight." I tell her. I
can still remember the look in Angel's eye when he saw me in this outfit. He
couldn't hide his, um, enthusiasm in the tight leather pants he wore.  Ok,
down girl, drool check. I then wiped my chin.

"But you look evil." She says. I can be, as Angel has told me.

"Well, I am ready, lets rock!" I then walk out of the dorm. The look on
her face was priceless. As predicted the Bronze was lame.  Then again the
last club I went to was a vampire club, and that was violent. As predicted,
Buffy and Riley did the googgly eyes thing, Xander and Anya also did that eye
thing. Xander asked if I was evil, Anya asked where I got the leather, Riley
was stunned. Graham just smiled. He really irritated me. We had all made
small talk then a slow song came on. "Willow, let's dance." Graham said.

"Let's not." I told him. I am not interested in soldier boy. Can't anyone
understand that?

"Listen, I am sorry Oz hurt you, but you need to get over it. C'mon let's
have some fun." Graham said dragging me out on the floor. I let him have his
one dance. He tried to kiss me and I walked away.  I debated on staying at
the Bronze for about ten minutes.  Graham kept trying to make conversation,
but I  was trying to ignore him. "Listen, get the hint, I am not interested.
I need to go." I then tried to leave.

"Willow, be reasonable. I can walk you home, it is not safe at night."

"I will be fine. Now, please leave me alone."

I left.  I knew that Graham was following me.  I was glad to be leaving
Sunnyhell in two days.  My bedroom at home was already packed, the dorm was
packed as well. I walked over to Giles house. I knocked on the door. He gave
me a quizzical look and then said enter. I walked right in. He smiled. I was
glad he was home. "Giles, is this a bad time?"

"No, Willow." Giles closed the door.

"Angel?" I said. Giles noticed how I immediately picked up on him. The
watcher saw my face lighten up as Angel emerged from the doorway. He knew
something was up between us.  Ever get the feeling that everyone but you know
something?  Giles had begun to suspect it whenever he mentioned Angel's name
around me I lit up like a Christmas tree.

"Willow." Angel said and hugged me.  I was so excited. "What are you
doing here?" I asked.

  "Angel was worried about you.  He also stopped by on business." Giles
said.

"Business?" I looked at Angel and raised my eyebrow.

"Yeah, it involves a certain vampire." Giles said.

"I was just wondering how William was." Angel said. It was then that I
remembered what I was wearing. I didn't even blush. Spike then walked out of
the bedroom, smoking a cigarette. "Hey Red, You look good."

"I don't think so William." Angel glared daggers at Spike. I could hear
the menacing, almost challenging tone in Angel's voice. Spike smirked in
usual expression and sat down in the chair and lit his cigarette.

I smiled as Angel looked at me. "I hope you have kept in shape." He told
me. I love when he issues a silent challenge.

"Try me." I said keeping eye contact with Angel.

Giles looked at Spike, who just shrugged his shoulders in mock innocence.
 "If you ask me, watcher, they will be shaggin soon."

"Spike!" Giles snapped.

I then walked over to Spike. I straddled him, wrapped my arm around him,
giving him a nice view of my cleavage, "Spike, mind your manners, Boy. Oh,
enjoy the view, it is all you will be getting." I said flicking his neck hard
and dismounted him.  I tried not to giggle as I felt Spike's um, enthusiasm.
I see the look Angel is giving me. It is one of his Angelus looks, I want to
say it is one of desire. I know my boys. I then pause, when did they become
my boys?

"OW!" Spike snapped. Angel smiled.

"How is Wesley?" I asked, completely ignoring Spike.

"He is good.  He misses you terribly."

"Are you still breaking off all the tops of his sharpened pencils?"

Angel looked away. Giles found the whole situation amusing. "All he does
is get snitty with me."

"Oh really and you don't start any of it?" I innocently ask.

"Did you know he put gum along my desk drawer. I could barely get it
open."

"Giles, I am telling you that I was a glorified babysitter when I was
there." I tell him jokingly. Spike grumbles something and then leaves in a
huff.
Oh, yes, Willow, you are very evil.
 

Part 12 Did I forget to mention...

Buffy POV

    I smiled when I saw that Graham and Willow had left. They will make such
a cute couple. I told Xander and Anya that I was going back to Riley's.
Things with Riley are good now. He is doing the obsessive thing, but I like
it. I always felt strange walking back to my dorm in the harsh light of day.
I was surprised to see Willow's bed still made.  I called Riley, but he said
that Graham had come home alone.

    Maybe Willow is at Giles doing some research on Willow's dreams and
visions. I decided to go to check. It was unlike Willow to not even leave a
note. I needed to relay the patrol to him anyway.  I was surprised to see the
convertible.  I entered using the key Giles had given me.  I went down the
hallway to use the bathroom and saw the door to the guestroom open.  I looked
in and saw Willow sleeping in Angel's arms. I saw his hands in her hair, he
nuzzled himself at the base of her neck.  I saw how peaceful Angel looked.
It tore my heart up to see him like that.  I don't even remember the tears,
but they came down my face. I took in a deep breath and bumped into Giles.

    Giles had just come downstairs, "Buffy, good morning, how are you?"

    "I was okay until I saw them." I was trying to keep calm, I mean they
were just sleeping. They were clothed. Doesn't anyone remember Angelus?

    "I see."

    "No, Giles, you don't see.  One moment of happiness, then he is Angelus
again."

    Giles looked puzzled. "He did not tell you?"

    "Tell me what?" I asked, tears streaming down my face.

    "His soul is permanent."

    "Are you sure?  Why didn't he tell me?" I demanded. I was so angry. I
hate when Angel makes these decisions for me. Did Willow know? She must not,
she would have told me.

    "Ask him yourself." Giles spoke.  I turned around and saw Angel standing
in the hallway. Giles then excused himself and went out. I walked over to
Angel, I could smell the leather from Willow's outfit coming off him. I took
a deep breath. "Why didn't you tell me?"

    "I wanted you to get on with your life."  He said so casually as if he
were helping me buy a car.

    "I only agreed to this because of your soul. We can be together." I said.
I have never been whole since he left me.

    "No, we can't."

    "Why not? We are soulmates." It was like Angelus saying those things to
hurt me.

    "No, forbidden lovers is more like it."

    "I don't accept that Angel." I tell him. Lying bastard! He is my other
half as I am his.

    "I am sorry, but that is the way it has to be. I care Buffy, but I am not
in love with you."

    "No, you can't just make me go away." I tell him. I don't know if I meant
that to be a threat or not, but he had to accept things were going to change.

    "Buffy, you have a new life, a man who loves you, who can give you a
sense of normality."

    "Angel, wake up, I'm the slayer, I'll never be normal."

    "Buffy, it is over between us. I will always help you fight the evil, but
I do not feel the same. We have both moved on."

    "Fuck you Angel!!!!" I screamed and then bolted out of the house.
 

Part 13  Going Home

Willow POV

I felt his presence leave the bed. I hear muffled voices. I open my eyes
and remember where I am. Then I remember the time. It is almost noon. I
quietly get up and listen to the voices. "Why didn't you tell me?" Buffy was
pissed.

"I wanted you to get on with your life."

"I only agreed to this because of your soul. We can be together."

"No, we can't."

"Why not? We are soulmates."

"No, forbidden lovers is more like it."

"I don't accept that Angel."

"I am sorry, but that is the way it has to be. I care Buffy, but I am not
in love with you."

"No, you can't just make me go away."

"Buffy, you have a new life, a man who loves you, who can give you a
sense of normality."

"Angel, wake up, I'm the slayer, I'll never be normal."

I listened to the conversation.  I could not believe that Angel was
turning down the chance to be with Buffy. I was stunned. It is what he wanted
for so long.

"Buffy, it is over between us. I will always help you fight the evil, but
I do not feel the same. We have both moved on."

"Fuck you Angel!!!!" Buffy screamed. She then bolted out of the house.
Angel turned around and saw me in the doorway.  He looked at me with his deep
eyes as though he could read my thoughts as they flashed across my mind. He
saw my eyes watering. Angel was by my side in seconds.

"Shh, what is it?" He says in his Irish brogue which, I find relaxing and
erotic. Damn him!

"You turned down your happiness." I tell him.

"No, I haven't."

I looked at him. "I am confused."

"We will talk more about it when you come home." Angel said softly to me.
He hugged me goodbye and I then headed towards the dorm into hurricane Buffy.
 I saw Buffy pacing. "Relax, Buffy, I am unarmed."  I told her. I can
remember Spike telling me a brassed off slayer is hazardous to anyone's
health.  I was trying to sound calm, but in reality I was nervous. I knew
that Buffy had seen Angel and I granted we were both asleep and fully
clothed. "What did I do wrong Willow?" She said to me on the brink of tears.

"I have no idea." I don't know. I have my suspicions, but I think they
are Angelus'. I tell her nothing.

"I mean, he said we were eternal, yet he doesn't want me anymore.
Willow, what is wrong with me?" Part of me screamed the fact that you sent
him to hell, the whole mortal enemies thing maybe ring any bells?

"Buffy, I don't know."

"Are you going back to LA? You can talk to him for me. Make him see
reason." She begged me.

"Buffy, I am not getting involved in this. You have Riley, he worships
you." I tried to tell her.  I knew she was going to try to put me in the
middle of this. I can't get involved.

"But he's no Angel." I 100% agree with you there, Buffy.

"I never said he was."

"Willow, when I am near him, it is like my blood hums. I can't describe
it."  I am thinking I can, slayer sensing a vampire maybe.

"Buffy, listen, I have a final in an hour. We will talk later." I told
her. I had realized just how out of place I really had felt back in
Sunnydale. I remembered how insistent Angel was on my training. No one had
ever asked. It made me feel like I was with parents all over again.  I smiled
when I realized that tonight I would be home.  I saw Graham and of course he
was walking towards me.  He smiled at me. I just try to ignore him. Quit
stalking me, I mentally yelled at him.

"Willow, I was worried about you. Buffy had said you weren't at the dorm
last night."

"No, Graham, I stayed with friend."

"Mr. Giles? I was worried. You know how unsafe this place can be at
night."

"Graham, shut up and go away. I have a lot to do today."

"You said we were going out for coffee."

"No, Graham, you said that, and I have to be somewhere that does not
include you." I felt him grab my arm hard. I saw the predatory look in his
eyes. Ok, is that the way we are going to play?

"Let's go." He said.

"I am not going with you." I then closed her eyes and spoke with my mind.

"OW!" Graham said as he saw the fire on his arm. I bolted into the
Expedition. I saw Graham pat his arm out and run after me. I smiled as I
drove off campus. It felt good to be going home.
Part 13  Going Home

Willow POV

I felt his presence leave the bed. I hear muffled voices. I open my eyes
and remember where I am. Then I remember the time. It is almost noon. I
quietly get up and listen to the voices. "Why didn't you tell me?" Buffy was
pissed.

"I wanted you to get on with your life."

"I only agreed to this because of your soul. We can be together."

"No, we can't."

"Why not? We are soulmates."

"No, forbidden lovers is more like it."

"I don't accept that Angel."

"I am sorry, but that is the way it has to be. I care Buffy, but I am not
in love with you."

"No, you can't just make me go away."

"Buffy, you have a new life, a man who loves you, who can give you a
sense of normality."

"Angel, wake up, I'm the slayer, I'll never be normal."

I listened to the conversation.  I could not believe that Angel was
turning down the chance to be with Buffy. I was stunned. It is what he wanted
for so long.

"Buffy, it is over between us. I will always help you fight the evil, but
I do not feel the same. We have both moved on."

"Fuck you Angel!!!!" Buffy screamed. She then bolted out of the house.
Angel turned around and saw me in the doorway.  He looked at me with his deep
eyes as though he could read my thoughts as they flashed across my mind. He
saw my eyes watering. Angel was by my side in seconds.

"Shh, what is it?" He says in his Irish brogue which, I find relaxing and
erotic. Damn him!

"You turned down your happiness." I tell him.

"No, I haven't."

I looked at him. "I am confused."

"We will talk more about it when you come home." Angel said softly to me.
He hugged me goodbye and I then headed towards the dorm into hurricane Buffy.
 I saw Buffy pacing. "Relax, Buffy, I am unarmed."  I told her. I can
remember Spike telling me a brassed off slayer is hazardous to anyone's
health.  I was trying to sound calm, but in reality I was nervous. I knew
that Buffy had seen Angel and I granted we were both asleep and fully
clothed. "What did I do wrong Willow?" She said to me on the brink of tears.

"I have no idea." I don't know. I have my suspicions, but I think they
are Angelus'. I tell her nothing.

"I mean, he said we were eternal, yet he doesn't want me anymore.
Willow, what is wrong with me?" Part of me screamed the fact that you sent
him to hell, the whole mortal enemies thing maybe ring any bells?

"Buffy, I don't know."

"Are you going back to LA? You can talk to him for me. Make him see
reason." She begged me.

"Buffy, I am not getting involved in this. You have Riley, he worships
you." I tried to tell her.  I knew she was going to try to put me in the
middle of this. I can't get involved.

"But he's no Angel." I 100% agree with you there, Buffy.

"I never said he was."

"Willow, when I am near him, it is like my blood hums. I can't describe
it."  I am thinking I can, slayer sensing a vampire maybe.

"Buffy, listen, I have a final in an hour. We will talk later." I told
her. I had realized just how out of place I really had felt back in
Sunnydale. I remembered how insistent Angel was on my training. No one had
ever asked. It made me feel like I was with parents all over again.  I smiled
when I realized that tonight I would be home.  I saw Graham and of course he
was walking towards me.  He smiled at me. I just try to ignore him. Quit
stalking me, I mentally yelled at him.

"Willow, I was worried about you. Buffy had said you weren't at the dorm
last night."

"No, Graham, I stayed with friend."

"Mr. Giles? I was worried. You know how unsafe this place can be at
night."

"Graham, shut up and go away. I have a lot to do today."

"You said we were going out for coffee."

"No, Graham, you said that, and I have to be somewhere that does not
include you." I felt him grab my arm hard. I saw the predatory look in his
eyes. Ok, is that the way we are going to play?

"Let's go." He said.

"I am not going with you." I then closed her eyes and spoke with my mind.

"OW!" Graham said as he saw the fire on his arm. I bolted into the
Expedition. I saw Graham pat his arm out and run after me. I smiled as I
drove off campus. It felt good to be going home.
 

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