Disclaimer: A Sequel to Anya's Gone. The Characters mentioned and named in this story are the property of J. Whedon, Mutant Enemy, Warner Bros..etc, etc. No infringement is intended.
Thunk! A quivering arrow landed in the bull's eye of a target.
"Woo-hoo!" Xander shouted and did an odd victory dance. "Who da man? That's the sixth one in a row. Do you finally admit defeat?" he crowed triumphantly.
"You were so lucky." Buffy could only give Xander a disgusted look.
Giles had been pleasantly surprised by his latest protégé. Xander had done better than his word and applied himself wholeheartedly to training. While his marital arts skills were only so-so, Xander had taken up the cross bow with a vengeance. Giles had felt that it should naturally be Xander's weapon of choice since he didn't have the slayer's strength for hand to hand combat. And as it turned out, Xander was actually a better shot with the cross bow than Buffy. He was constantly bragging and teasing her about his superior skill to the point that Buffy had challenged him to prove it this afternoon. Now she was really never going to hear the end of it.
"Ha! You so can't stand to lose," Xander gloated knowingly.
"I do not." Buffy huffed.
Xander rolled his eyes. "Do too."
"Do not!" Buffy protested.
"Do too."
"Do not."
"Do too."
"Do not."
"Do not."
"Do t-…Oh that's just it." Buffy tackled a laughing Xander to the ground.
"You just can't say it can you." Xander laid flat on his back still chuckling.
"Alright, I'll say it. You win," Buffy said graciously looking down from on top of him. "But I'd say when it comes to a . . .tickle-fest, I win." With that she started tickling him mercilessly.
"Arghh!" Xander howled with laughter under her onslaught. "No fair," he gasped. "I give. I give!"
Buffy stopped and looked down at a now thoroughly tousled Xander. She gave one last smirk before rolling off of him and onto her back. For a timeless moment she just lay in the grass beside him looking up at the sky, the perfect blueness unbroken to the edge of the horizon. It was a glorious summer day. Buffy felt a sense of contentment that she hadn't felt in a long time.
She glanced over at Xander and smiled at her best friend. They had become inseparable. Although she knew that she could never take Willow's place in his life, she and Xander had built a strong, deep friendship based on trust and affection. It was a friendship that only strengthen as time went by and she knew she was lucky to have him. Gloating not withstanding.
Xander rolled onto his side and propped himself up on one elbow to look at her. "So what are we going to do tonight?"
"We're going to do what we do every night Xander."
"What? Take over the world?" he teased.
Buffy rolled her eyes exaggeratingly. "No silly. Just the Bronze. We leave world conquest stuff to vampires and other assorted baddies, remember?"
"Oh yah! Talking about vamps, do we want to go patrol before we go out tonight or after?" he asked.
"Oh. I thought we might skip the slayage thing for tonight. Pickings have been slim. I figure Giles can give us the night off."
With school out, Buffy and Xander had the opportunity to train every afternoon and hunt every evening. Working as a team with the will to do major damage, they were pretty fierce. So there hadn't been too much action in Sunnydale lately. In fact, the last couple months the local vamp population had been decidedly low-key.
"I wish it were always like this," Buffy said almost absently looking back up at the sky.
"Almost like what?"
"Daylight," Buffy sighed now wistfully. "That it would never be night."
*~*~*~*
Pounding music and the swaying bodies of teens filled the Bronze. As always the Bronze was packed and in the center of the dance floor was Buffy and Xander. Buffy was dancing and Xander - well, Xander was doing what Buffy could only describe as goofing around. It was at times like this Buffy felt like she was any other normal teen girl. Not the chosen one. Not the Slayer. And certainly not the person who stood against the powers of darkness. Tonight, hanging out with her best pal, she was just Buffy. Closing her eyes, she lost herself to the music.
Suddenly the music changed and a slow song came on. Xander was about the head back to their table when Buffy tugged on his arm.
"Hey, come on. Dance this one with me?" she smiled and batted her eyelashes outrageously.
Shrugging his shoulders, Xander pulled her into his arms and started to do an impersonation of a tango to the totally inappropriate music. Giggling Buffy followed his lead. They weaved in and out of the slowly swaying couples. They were getting a lot of odd looks, but Xander only exaggerated the tango theme more and at the end of the song, he made a move to dip her. Pulling her up a little too hard, Buffy came up stumbling against his body.
Breathless she looked up at him to say something witty about his dancing technique, but she lost whatever she was going to say as she stared into his eyes. Suddenly neither of them were goofing around any longer.
Buffy felt the immediate tension and held her breath, not sure what was going on. Not wanting to ruin the moment, but also not wanting to change things past the point of no return, she merely put her arms around his neck and her head on his shoulder as another slow song came on. This time Xander followed her lead as they did little more than sway to the music.
Across the room, a pair of eyes were intently watching Buffy and Xander. Not wanting them to see him just yet he made his way out of the Bronze. He decided to wait for the right moment to reveal himself. This was certainly not it.
After the song ended there was an awkward pause between Xander and Buffy. Clearing his throat Xander asked oh so casually, "Uhm, do you want something to drink?"
Grateful Buffy nodded, "Yah, just water though is good." She made her way back to their table and sat down, resisting the urge to bury her face in her hands. < That just so did not happen. >
< Yes it did. And you like it! > a taunting voice in her head replied.
< But it's Xander! > < So what's wrong with exploring a relationship with Xander? > < EVERYTHING! > she screamed back at herself. < We're friends, and... >
Any further debate in her head was cut short when Xander returned with her drink.
"Thanks." She drank her water quickly.
"It's getting kinda late," he said tentatively.
"Oh, definitely," Buffy rushed to agree. "Since we didn't patrol tonight, Giles will want us to do some training tomorrow morning. You know, early. So maybe we should call it a night."
"Come on then, I'll let you walk me home," Xander said as if bestowing some great honor.
Buffy was never more thankful than now for Xander's way of diffusing a situation with humor. "Oh, please! May I? Pretty please?"
Smiling broadly now, Xander crooked his elbow and she linked her arm with his as they left the Bronze all awkwardness temporarily put out of their minds.
It wasn't until Buffy had left Xander's place that she once more confronted what had happened between them at the Bronze. She wasn't too sure what exactly it was, but it was a little scary.
As the Slayer, Buffy didn't get her strength to keep on fighting from anger or duty or the knowledge that she was fighting the righteous fight, although that helped. But rather she got her true strength from the people who believed in her, the ones who counted on her. They were also the people she knew she could count on. Her victory over the Master wouldn't have been possible without her friends. If she was a successful slayer it was because of the incredible people in her life.
Buffy pitied past slayers who didn't have the kind of friends that she had. But she also understood now why friends could be a vulnerability. When she lost Willow and Angel, her confidence, her very strength felt diminished. But Xander had gotten her through that loss. Xander - who would go to the mouth of hell and back for her. In the last year he had gain some indeterminable quality, some inner fortitude that hadn't been there before. And whereas she had been the one who was strong initially after finding out about Willow, Xander became the emotional stabilizer for her now when things looked bad. He was her rock, the one person whom she counted on above all others. She needed him.
To pursue anything more with him meant maybe messing up what they already had. So the fact that dancing in his arms had felt wonderfully right was downright disturbing. And the one thing she would never allow herself to do was jeopardize her friendship with Xander.
So Buffy handled it the only way she could. She rationalized it away. < I'm sure it doesn't really mean anything. Maybe its an entirely normal feeling best friends have with each other. >
Deep in these thoughts, she was almost home before she had the odd sensation she was being followed. The sensation grew until Buffy's 'spider' sense told her she was not definitely not being paranoid. And whoever was following her wasn't of the human variety stalker either. She whipped around to face the vamp.
As the shadows revealed the figure before her, she gasped.
"Angel!"
Part Eight
Buffy looked at Angel as if he were a ghost. Dumbfounded she could only stand there her mouth hanging open.
"Buffy." Angel approached her slowly, taking in her shock.
She walked slowly over to him taking in his presence. Abruptly she threw herself into his arms in a huge rib-cracking hug. Angel almost smiled at her exuberance.
"Oh my god! What are you doing here? Is Willow with you?" she asked still recovering. Then she started and backed away. "What's happened?" The question spilled out of her in a panicked manner.
Angel hedged, "You know what happened to Willow last summer?"
"Yes, I...Xander and I found her diary. We know what happened with the Anointed One." Buffy looked down at the ground as she said this and then back at him with intense desperation in her eyes, "But how is she now? Is she alright? I need to know if Willow is alright. Please, tell me!" she begged.
"The last time I saw Willow, she was more than alright," he said trying to reassure her.
"Oh thank God!" She heaved a sigh of excited relief. "Tell me about her. What has she been doing?"
"Let's go somewhere where we can talk," he said, knowing that there were many more questions she would have.
Even as completely frazzled as she was, Buffy didn't forget Xander and his equally desperate need to know about Willow. She said hurriedly, "We have to get Xander. Oh and Giles and Ms. Calendar of course. They're going to want to know everything. I want to know everything!"
Angel almost sighed but nodded. It would save on repeated explanations later.
She found a phone booth and made calls to Xander and Giles. It took a superhuman effort on Buffy's part not to start asking Angel all the questions that were dying to be asked, but she managed. As it was, she didn't have to wait long. Buffy had been vague, merely saying that they had to get the library ASAP because there was news about Willow. To say that they all had hurried over was an understatement. Xander practically flew to get there in record time. But it was Giles, exceeding all legal speed limits, who came in first with Ms. Calendar right behind him.
With Willow no longer there, Giles had turned to Jenny for computer related help. Eventually, by picking up bits and pieces, she learned what had really happened to Willow. Lending her understanding and resourcefulness, she had come to be an invaluable part of their little group. Not to mention an invaluable part of Giles' personal life. It was a development that Buffy and Xander found very amusing. They had found ways to subtly and not so subtly rib the two adults mercilessly.
As they came into the library, both Giles and Jenny were stunned to see Angel. At the same time Giles' eyes also searched out for Willow as well.
Understanding, Angel said apologetically, "She's not here, Giles."
At that moment Xander came running in as well. He nearly toppled over when he came to an abrupt stop upon seeing Angel. It was apparent that Angel was the last person he had expected to see, yet at the same time his whole face lit up expectantly, "Where's Willow?" he demanded.
"Now that you're all here, I can begin." Angel started, ignoring Xander altogether.
Buffy, however, went over to Xander's side. Touching his shoulder she said, "She's not here." Taking in his crestfallen look, she hurried to continue, "But Angel has news about her." She and the rest of them turned to Angel eagerly.
When he decided to come back to Sunnydale, Angel knew that questions about Willow were going to be inevitable. He even wanted to tell them. He wanted to relieve them of the worst of their apprehensions - not knowing. It was something Angel understood.
Angel began with the basics. "When Willow and I left for Europe, we decided to go to Rome and try to contact Brother Lugo." He saw Ms. Calendar's eyes widen in recognition of the name. "About two months ago we found a way to anchor her soul. To destroy her demon. Willow is still a vampire, but she's never going to have to worry about her bloodlust again."
They all looked at each other and in their expressions was a mixture of relief with an equal amount of sorrow that there was no absolute cure for Willow. Then Giles asked the question that sprang immediately to all their minds, "How did she anchor her soul?"
"She had to drink holy water to destroy the demon," Angel said carefully.
Giles gasped. "How-how did you know it wouldn't kill her?" he asked incredulously.
Remembering his own dread when Willow was going through with it, Angel responded evenly, "We didn't."
They were all gravely silent at this. Angel's succinct words telling them all they needed to know or guess about the desperation that drove Willow to undergo such a drastic measure.
"I must talk with you, uhm, more in depth about this later," Giles said finally in Watcher mode. Angel nodded in agreement.
Xander refused to be ignored for long. "Where is Willow now?" he asked. Buffy and Giles too looked at Angel hopefully.
"Europe," Angel said, conveniently leaving out that he had no idea where in Europe. < I'm not lying. At least, I'm pretty sure she's still in Europe, > Angel thought to himself.
"Wait," Xander pressed on. "She's not in Rome anymore?"
Angel didn't answer.
Buffy asked softly, "She still doesn't want to be found, does she?"
"No, she doesn't," Angel said with dismal finality. He added to himself, < Not even by me. >
*~*~*~*
They all stayed at the library for a long time playing the question and answer game with Angel about Willow. Finally it was in the wee hours of the morning when Ms. Calendar pointed out how late it was.
"Goodness, so it is." Giles agreed. "Xander, Buffy let me drive you home. Angel do you have a place to stay in town?"
"Don't worry about me. I have my old place."
"Ah, well excellent." Giles said. They all made a move toward the doors but Buffy still hadn't gotten up. Giles asked, "Are you coming Buffy?"
Xander too had turned back expectantly. His eyes locked with Buffy's for a moment. Then he walked out the doors not needing to hear her response. He understood all too well.
Buffy looked at his retreating figure for a moment before answering Giles. "No, you go ahead without me," she said quietly.
"I'll walk you home," Angel said to her but it was more for Giles' benefit than Buffy's.
Looking back and forth at the both of them, Giles nodded. "I'll see you tomorrow then."
Automatically Buffy and Angel started walking the way to her house. Alone now Buffy regarded him uncertainly. Her initial reaction had been to pelt him with questions about Willow, but now she had other questions, personal questions that had to do with just him...and her. But she didn't know how to bring them up.
"How have you been?" she asked. < Oh great, wonderful question. Why not talk about the weather while I'm at it? > she berated herself. It was a banal question, yet it hadn't been asked with any amount of casual curiosity.
"I've been good." The response was empty, almost guarded and it led to an awkward sort of silence between them. In an effort to break it, Angel added, "You know I've regretted leaving the way I did. At the time I couldn't even begin to think of what I would write to say to you. I'm sorry if I hurt you." Angel's soul-filled eyes sought hers asking for her forgiveness.
Buffy stopped walking. "It was hard," she began. "When you first left and we found out about...what happened to Willow, I realized why you left. I couldn't be mad at you. But I did miss you." Buffy said softly.
"I missed you too. It's been a long time," Angel said looking at her intently. "A lot of things have changed, haven't they?" It was more of a comment than a question.
"Uh, yah I guess they have." Buffy said, feeling as if his words held a double meaning, speaking on a level that she didn't quite have a handle on.
They started walking again while Buffy floundered once again for something to say. Then she hit on the question that had been hovering in the back of her mind ever since she had first seen him again. "You never said why are you're back in town."
"No, I guess I didn't." Angel's tone was devoid of even a hint. "We're here," he pointed out.
Buffy looked around realizing that they were already standing in front of her house. She sighed knowing that he had deliberately avoided her question. He obviously wasn't going to be forthcoming about it either. But she was tired, too tired to wrangle a straight answer out of him. The evening's excitement had taken its toll. Nevertheless, she hesitated to go inside. "You-you're not going to take off again without saying good-bye are you?"
"No. I won't," Angel promised.
On impulse Buffy raised herself to her tiptoes and kissed him on the cheek. "Night Angel. I'm glad you're back," she whispered.
She had already unlocked her door when she heard him call out, "Buffy," Angel's voice sounded weary and unsure to her. "There are some things I need to talk to you about. Not now. Tomorrow."
"Wha...Angel?" But he had already disappeared. "I hate it when he does that," she muttered. Cryptic man was back in full force she realized, as she was left to only wonder what on earth those 'things' he wanted to talk about might be.
*~*~*~*
Buffy was in a very thoughtful mood the next morning and not at all strangely her thoughts were centered around Angel. Her initial burst of shock and excitement had subsided into an another, odd feeling. She didn't know how to describe it. It certainly wasn't what she thought she would feel if she ever saw Angel again. She had had images of them ecstatically kissing as music soared in the background.
< O.K., so maybe the romance novel scene isn't realistic, but this feels wrong somehow. > Angel seemed like the enigmatic stranger from the early days of their relationship, not the caring man that had captured her heart. But all that seemed a lifetime ago.
When Xander came over to her house for lunch before their afternoon training session, he noticed her distracted mood. "Thinking about Willow?"
Buffy blushed guiltily, "Yes. Well and Angel." Biting on her lower lip she choose her words carefully. "Angel said that there was something else that he needed to talk to me about. But he didn't want to say anything about it last night. Its just driving me crazy thinking about what it might be."
Xander shrugged and said pragmatically, "He already dumped a lot of stuff on us about Willow. I'm sure he didn't want to overburden you by adding something else."
Buffy nodded, "Yah I suppose so."
"So is this just a visit by Angel, or a more permanent thing for you two?" Xander asked without any perceptible signs of sarcasm or joking. He said it without any jealousy and he sounded for all the world like someone merely asking for general information.
"That's what I don't know," Buffy said a little disconcerted. She couldn't believe that she was having this conversation with Xander. She hadn't wanted to bring up Angel with him, somehow thinking that he might be jealous. Xander never really made it a secret that he'd been jealous of Angel before. Yet instead Xander seemed to be lightly assuming she'd be willing to pick up right where she and Angel had left off. It certainly wasn't the attitude that Buffy had expected from Xander.
< Well, jeez, it's not like I want him to be jealous. > This made her shake her head and she frowned. Buffy suddenly wasn't sure what threw her more - Angel's presence back in Sunnydale or Xander's calm acceptance of her renewing a relationship with Angel.
Switching gears Xander said, "I was up thinking about things all last night. Thinking about Willow," he clarified. "Of course I'm thrilled, I'm all out jumping for joy that Willow's o.k. The thing is, I can't help but feel frustrated that she still doesn't want us to know where she is." Xander's mouth tightened, "If she sent Angel to let us know how she's doing then why wouldn't she want us to know where she is?" His dark eyes unconsciously took on a whipped puppy-dog look.
"I don't know," Buffy said softly. She took his hand in hers as it seemed she had done a hundred times, but suddenly Xander seemed self-conscious about her gesture and gently withdrew his hand. He had done it tactfully, nevertheless, she was aware of his retreat and was hurt by it.
"Actually, I'm sorry, Buff, I-I guess I don't feel much like training today. I'm going home," Xander said getting up. "But I'll meet you tonight at the cemetery."
"Xand...," Buffy started to call his name but he was already out the door and out of hearing distance. < What is it with the guys in my life?!? > Buffy wanted to shriek. < If they keep on pulling that same disappearing move, I'm going to lose it. I swear! >
*~*~*~*
Xander's radio was on in his room, blasting out soulful tune, after soulful tune. Things were very wrong in Xander-land. Things usually were when he turned to the country music station.
Sprawled on top of his bed, Xander was deep in thought. He had gone home and spent all afternoon trying to make sense of things. It was amazing how 24 hours could turn someone's life upside down. Things had finally just started to feel normal again when Angel showed up. Well as normal as things can get after your best friend has been turned into a vampire and was gone forever.
In the last few months, as much as he thought about Willow almost every day, he had learned to laugh again without guilt. If Xander ever began to feel guilty for having gained a measure of peace and moments of happiness, he just brought out Willow's letter. The letter she had left had been a source of torment for him at first. But now he read it to be comforted by Willow's sweet, simple words: 'Please, be well, live well and be happy, for me? I love you now, and I'll love you later.'
Seeing Willow just once more was something that Xander dreamed about. He wanted to be able to say things to her, things she should know. Things that he should have told her a long time ago. The good news of Willow's success in destroying her demon had lifted his spirits, even while he struggled with his keen disappointment that it wasn't Willow herself who had come to tell them. That brought him to the whole matter of Angel. More specifically Buffy and Angel.
Xander loved Willow. Yet, while it had been difficult acknowledging it to himself, he wasn't IN love with her. He would never be able to return Willow's feelings the way that she might have wanted. His feelings for her would never be more than the dearest love of one friend for another. And the reason for it was because, well, it had always been Buffy for him.
What he felt for Buffy had never just been a crush. < Maybe in the very, very beginning it was just the blind hormonal thing, but I got over that a long time ago. O.k., maybe not completely over the hormonal part, but that's not just all that I feel for Buffy. > With all the things they had been through together, he knew all there was to know about Buffy Summers. He admired, respected and liked her. He knew her faults as well, but they were the kind that only endeared her more to him. He was as sure of his love for her as he was of anything.
He had never spoke to Buffy again about his feelings after she had turned him down for the Spring Fling. Plus after Willow had gone, he clung fiercely to his friendship with Buffy. He had vowed that not even his deepening love for her would get in the way of their friendship.
Not that it was easy. Especially with times like last night when they had been dancing at the Bronze. He almost made an idiot of himself. < But I really thought for a minute there that she - ah never mind. Buffy's in love with Angel. She's made that clear and that's that. I'm fine with it. Really. >
Xander shook his head. < God! I'm so not fine. But I'm going to put up a good front for Buffy. She might not love me the way I want her to, but I'll be damned if she ever finds out that I'm still jonesing for her. I won't show her how miserable I am about all this. It would just make her feel bad. It would make her feel sorry for me and I couldn't stand that. >
He gave a huge sigh. Then glancing out his window he realized that it was already past dusk. < Time to go and beat the crap out of some bad guys. > He left his house and walked toward the cemetery to meet Buffy there, but he was dragging his feet.
His thoughts kept going back to Buffy. It was going to be hell watching her and Angel together. He had had to sit by and watch them before. < And I guess I'll do it again.> But Xander vowed that this time, he wouldn't be such a pain for them. < I won't be bitter. No more picking on Angel and not just for Buffy's sake. > Angel had redeemed himself completely in Xander's eyes. He had proven himself by taking care of Willow. Besides any insults that he might think of hurling at Angel now applied to Willow and NO ONE, but no one insulted his Willow.
He had just reached the cemetery and spotted Buffy but right alongside her was Angel.
< Talk about the devil. > Xander thought. It looked as if they were completely involved with each other. < Oblivious to the world. She probably forgot that I was supposed to be here. Hell she probably forgot that I even exist now that Mr. Wonderful Dead-boy is back. Dead-BOY certainly doesn't apply to Willow so I'm still allowed to use that insult...Oops! O.K. so even my best intentions are short lived. >
Xander was about to head back home and leave the lovebirds alone when something caught his attention. He never knew exactly what it was, but he was just in time to catch a glimpse of something just beyond the trees, behind where Buffy and Angel were standing. As he took a closer look, his heart dropped with terrifying realization.
There was a vampire with a cross-bow. And he was aiming directly at Buffy and Angel.
"Buffy!!!!" he screamed a warning and ran toward
her, knowing that he would be too late.