Part Fourteen
Sunnydale 2009
"So now," Angel stated, "Dru and Spike are members of our extended family. Makes things interesting around the dinner table, that’s for sure," Angel laughed.
"I bet," she agreed. "How did Giles take having the two of them with their souls again? Not to mention hanging out with you and Willow."
"He wasn’t happy about it, nor was the rest of the Watcher’s Council. They wanted to punish Faith for her help with the spell, and they almost got away with it, but we wouldn’t allow them to get her. Eventually they came around and left us alone, but it took a few years," Angel finished. Before Buffy could ask him to elaborate, Kim came back to the table.
"I was wondering if you were ready to order."
"Sure," Buffy said as she turned to Angel, "what would you recommend?"
"I would say the lasagna. That is if you still love your pasta," Angel replied.
"Of course I still love my pasta," she laughed. Turning back to Kim, Buffy placed her order. When finished, Kim left the table leaving Buffy and Angel alone once more. "So what finally happened that changed their minds?"
"Spike and Dru started helping us," he explained. "That helped some. Then about two years after they regained their souls, they saved both Faith and Willow, who were attacked by about 7 vampires who wanted to kill the slayer. That pretty much made them a part of the family and let any doubts about them fall by the wayside."
"How come? I mean, if Faith is all that good of a slayer, couldn’t she have fought the vamps? Especially if Willow was with her."
"Not really. She was six months pregnant at the time with Kevin, and Willow had Jenny with her so she couldn’t fight. So Spike and Dru saved mine and Oz’ family."
Buffy was floored. ( Spike and Dru on the side of good. A slayer who has a family.) She had never thought that a slayer would live long enough to get married and have children. It was unheard of. (Even though I had always dreamt of having exactly that.) That was one of the reasons that she left.
"I can see how that would help in forgiving the two of them." An awkward silence fell between the former lovers, interrupted only when Kim brought Buffy her meal and then quickly left.
"So….. Buffy, you told is a little about you life but you never did tell us why you came back," Angel said, deciding to break the quiet that threatened to engulf the two. Buffy shrugged her shoulders.
"Like I said before, it really wasn’t any one thing. I just thought that it was finally time to confront my past." Buffy looked down for a minute and then up at Angel. "I just didn’t realize how much of my past I would be confronting at one time."
"Yeah, I guess we did kind of surprise you."
"You could say that." Angel smiled at Buffy. (Oh, Angel, I have missed you.) "I still can’t believe how much has changed since I’ve been gone."
"It’s been eleven years, Buff. Things can’t stay the same forever," Angel replied quietly. Buffy realized that he was talking about the two of them. "No matter how much you might want them to."
"I know," she replied quietly. Angel reached over and took Buffy’s hand into his.
"Buffy, I want to know, that I have always cared for you."
"Yeah, just not enough," Buffy shook her head, fighting back the tears that threatened to spill forth. "At least, not enough to give us another chance, right?"
"Buffy, there hasn’t been an us for a long time," he explained, "and you know it. I am willing to be your friend, as is Willow, but you have to be willing to accept us as a couple."
Buffy’s subconscious understood what Angel was telling her, but her conscious mind didn’t want to admit defeat. Buffy had given up so much in her life, because she wasn't able to handle the pressure that being the chosen one put on her, that she wanted to try and get some of what she lost back. (I just want a little of that happiness that I once had. That’s not too much to ask for, is it?)
Angel watched the inner battle that was being waged in Buffy. He had meant what he said about being her friend. He knew that friends was all that he should have ever been with Buffy, but he didn’t regret his love for her. It has led him to Willow. He truly hoped that Buffy would be able to move on, both for her sake and Willow’s. Angel knew how much it had hurt his wife when Buffy never came back. He also knew that the only way that Willow could get over that hurt, was if she and Buffy talked, not argued, but talked.
"Buffy," The pair looked up at the new voice. Buffy’s face had a huge grin at the new arrival.
"Giles, what are you doing here?"
"Getting some take out for the little ones." Angel and Buffy looked over at a table that was holding eight very noisy children. Angel chuckled at the exasperated look on the watcher’s face.
"You have the whole team, huh?"
"Until you get off work," Giles replied. "Then it’s you, me and Spike with the baby-sitting duties." Angel groaned at that, but the effect was ruined when he smiled.
"Girls night watching Oz right?" Buffy looked at the two men who seemed to have forgotten about her. She cleared her throat, gaining their attention.
"Someone care to clue me in, or is this some private moment?" She watched as Angel stood up, signaling for Giles to take his sit.
"I’ll let Giles fill you in," Angel said. "I have to get back to the kitchen and make sure everything is running okay. I’ll go get the munchkins some food too." Angel looked over at Buffy, "Think about what I said." Buffy nodded her head and Angel left.
Buffy watched him as he stopped at the table and gave his daughters a kiss. She loved the soft expression that appeared on his face as he looked at the two girls. Giles noted Buffy’s attention and was slightly apprehensive of what his former charge might be thinking. Giles took off his glasses and started to clean them bringing Buffy’s attention back to the table.
"So, Giles, you married Cordelia huh? Never would have thought that one was possible."
‘Yes, well, it was a bit unexpected," he said sheepishly. "Her family still hasn’t quite forgiven her for marrying someone so much older than her."
"What brought you two together?" Buffy questioned, curious as to how her formerly tweed clad watcher and the fashion queen managed to find love with each other.
"Her parents had kicked her out of the house," he replied. Buffy looked at him shocked. She noticed Giles look over towards where Cordelia was working and she couldn't help but see the look of love in his eyes. "They thought that she was using drugs or doing something illegal because of all the late nights researching. She needed a place to go and everyone else was out of town except for me. I let her use my spare room and I helped her deal with her parents rejection. She’s been there ever since."
Buffy was happy for the man that she thought of as a father figure. She knew how broken he had been after Jenny Calender had been killed and she was glad that he had again found love. Even if it was with Cordelia Chase.
"So, are you still a watcher and librarian?"
"Yes and no," he answered. He elaborated when he saw the confused look on Buffy’s face. "I’m still a watcher. Faith’s to be exact. But I am no longer a librarian. I write science fiction novels. Quite successfully really. All that research comes in handy sometimes." Buffy couldn’t help but laugh at the image of demon research turning into a best seller.
"What about you, Buffy?" Giles asked, concern evident in his voice. "Are you happy with your life?"
Buffy took a minute before repeating Giles answer a moment before. (I need to tell someone.) "Yes and no. I can’t lie, not to you, it’s been tough sometimes." Giles took Buffy’s hand, gently squeezing it, encouraging her to continue. "When I first left, I didn’t think I would be able to survive. I wasn’t even sure that I wanted to. I was so afraid to let anyone get close to me and the minute they did, I took off. I lost a lot of possible relationships that way.
I moved a lot. I just couldn’t seem to find a place that I felt comfortable in. When I moved to Philly, it seemed like I was home. There was something about the city that just called out to me. I stayed there for about five years, finally allowing myself the comfort of having friends. I started going out on a regular basis and even allowed myself the luxury of involving myself with other men. Then I was offered a job in Cape May and that’s where I’ve been for the last four years."
Giles felt sorry for the vivacious girl that he had loved as his own child. He knew why she had felt the need to leave and he felt bad that she had to go across the country to finally find that peace within herself. He longed to take away some of the pain that she gone through, but knew that only Buffy could do that. (I just hope that she lets us help her.)
"Giles," Buffy whispered softly, "can I ask you something?"
"Certainly."
"Do you think that you could ever forgive me for running away from my sacred duty," Buffy spat out the last two words, as if they had left a bad taste in her mouth.
Giles’ face softened as he saw the teenager that had cried to
Willow over Angel underneath the tough woman that had shown up at Willow’s
the other night. "Of course I can, Buffy." He said as he reached over and
pulled Buffy into a hug. As soon as her head touched Giles shoulders, Buffy
finally allowed the tears of eleven years to fall. She had never allowed
herself the option of crying the entire time she was gone, so focused was
she on surviving. But here, now, in a restaurant booth with Giles, she
let her eyes weep for the life that she lost.