“Buffy,” Angel growled as he opened the door to see the blonde Slayer
standing there. “What are you doing here?”
“I thought maybe we could talk,” Buffy said timidly. Angel noticed that
Buffy’s eyes never met his own and that she seemed to be fidgeting somewhat.
‘Maybe she’s finally accepted that Willow and I are together,’ Angel
thoughtful, doubtfully. He had heard about how Buffy had slapped Willow in
class and it had taken every ounce of willpower he had not to go out and
inflict some kind of damage to the girl.
“What did you want to talk about?”
“Us,” Buffy answered, finally looking up at Angel.
“There is no us anymore, Buffy,” Angel reminded the blonde, who only nodded
her head sadly.
“So everyone keeps telling me,” she replied. “But I still was wondering if
we could talk. I think there are things that we need to deal with.”
“Like the fact that you felt the need to strike Willow because she decided
to stand up for herself and Xander,” Angel asked, not moving to allow Buffy
any room to enter. Buffy sighed, realizing that the conversation wasn’t
going to be as easy as she thought it might be. She took a deep breathe,
trying to steady her nerves. It had been two days since the incident in
class. Two days in which6 Buffy had locked herself up in her room, going
out only for patrol and even then not doing as much6 as she knew she should
have. It was her mother who had finally convinced her that maybe she should
talk to Angel about everything and to try and work things out with her
friends.
“I didn’t mean to hit her,” she told him. “It was just that I was so angry
because I thought that she had purposely gone out after you to get back at
me for being with Xander. And then to see the two of them together,
laughing and knowing that I wasn’t included in that, it hurt.” Buffy looked
up at Angel and he could see tears in her eyes. He just wasn’t sure if they
were real or another one of Buffy’s games. The part of him that still cared
for her wanted to believe her though so he moved to allow her entrance. She
walked into the apartment, looking around and noticing the little things
that signaled that Willow was a major part of Angel’s life.
“It was your choice to separate yourself from them,” Angel pointed out as
he watched Buffy make her way into the living room. He saw her stop at one
of the newest additions to the decor. A sketch he had done of Willow as she
sat and studied something. “You made them decide between you and each
other. *You should have known that you would have been on the losing end of
that equation.” Buffy nodded her head, agreeing with Angel’s comment.
“I know, but it didn’t even occur to me,” she admitted. “I mean, I had
never had people choose someone else over me. I just assumed that they
would too.”
“Not everything can be just as we want it to be,” Angel said gently. “No
matter how much6 we wish it to be otherwise.”
“So Giles tells me.” Buffy finally turned to face Angel again. “I miss
everyone. Slaying isn’t the same without them. Research isn’t as much fun.
I just want everything to go back to the way it was before.”
“Before what, Buffy?” Angel asked. “Before you broke up with me? Before
you got involved with Xander? Before you accused Willow of stealing me from
you and calling her a tramp? How much before are we talking about?”
“I want it to go back to when we were all friends,” Buffy replied. “I want
to know that if I have a problem, I can call Willow and cry on her shoulder.
That if I need someone to make me laugh, Xander would be waiting with a
really bad joke. That if I needed help with a really nasty demon or
prophecy, that you will be there covering my back.”
“Buffy….” Angel began, only to be silenced by the blonde.
“I know that you and Willow are together and that nothing I can do or say
will break you up,” she said. “Trust me when I say I know that and I trying
to accept that. I really am. If you don’t’ believe me, you should go talk
to my mother and she can tell you about how I’ve bee spending the past
couple of days. It wasn’t exactly the easiest thing for me, accepting that
the man that I had always assumed was my soulmate was in love with my best
friend. But I’m coming to terms with that.”
“That’s good,” Angel told her. The souled vampire was beginning to believe
that Buffy had truly changed. Maybe there was hope for her after all.
“Because I do love Willow.” Buffy winced at Angel’s words. she might have
said that she had accepted that Willow and Angel were together. IT just
didn’t mean that she was all that happy about it.
“I know,” she commented finally. “I was there when you came in rushing to
her rescue, remember. And I know that it will take a lot of work for me to
prove to you, and everyone else, that I am dealing with everything. I know
I have to make up for the way I treated Willow when I found out about the
two of you. Not to mention about how I used Xander when I hadn’t gotten
over you. I know I hurt him too and I didn’t mean to. Willow and Xander
are two of the most important people in my life. I would have been dead
long ago if it hadn’t of been for the two of them.”
“I’m glad to hear that you appreciate what they’ve done for you,” Angel
stated. “I know they’ll like knowing that too.” Buffy sighed as she
thought of talking to the two people that had been hurt by her outburst.
“Now I just have to get up the courage to face them.” Angel walked over
and took Buffy into his arms. The blonde snuggled into his chest,
remembering the feeling of him holding her before she had decided that she
wanted a normal life. she had always been able to lose herself in his
strong chest and wished that she could do that forever. Then she remembered
that someone else had that right now, not her, and she bit back a cry. “I
don’t think they’ll ever be able to forgive me for the way that I’ve been
acting.”
“OF course they will,” Angel assured her. “They’re your friends. They
understand why you acted the way you did, even if they aren’t happy about
it. Just talk to them. It may take time, some hurts don’t heal right away,
but you’ll see, things will get better.”
“Are you sure?”
“As sure as I can be.” Buffy nodded her head and reluctantly separated
herself from Angel.
“I guess that’s gonna have to be good enough.” Buffy headed towards the
front door, Angel right behind her. “Ummm, I promised Giles that I would
stop by the library today. I haven’t exactly been the best of Slayers
lately and I need to talk to him about some things. Can you tell Willow
that I stopped by and that I want to talk to her. Maybe we can get together
for coffee or something.” Angel smiled at his former love, glad to see that
she was ready to accept his love for the red headed hacker.
“I’ll let her know,” he promised. “And I’m sure that she’ll give you a
call.” Buffy nodded her head and Angel let her out of the apartment.
“Buffy, it was good seeing you, you know>’
“It was good seeing you too Angel,” she answered. She walked out of the
apartment with a small smile on her face. “Very good to see you.”
“You can come out now, Spike,” Angel said after he was sure that Buffy had
gone. The blonde vampire wheeled himself out of the bedroom where he had
been holed up since the Slayer had arrived. They still hadn’t told her
about his return and he wasn’t in the mood to face a brassed off Slayer. At
least, not until he got full use of his legs back.
“So do you believe her?” Spike asked, pulling no punches. He had
overheard the entire conversation between his sire and the blonde Slayer and
wasn’t sure what to make of it. He knew that Willow and Xander had been
hurt by her and were upset at the lose of friendship with the girl, but the
vampire knew enough about human emotions to not quite be ready to accept the
Slayer’s change of heart. “Do you really think that she’s accepted your and
Red’s relationship?”
“I don’t know,” Angel admitted. “I want to, if for no other reason than
because I know how much Willow’s misses her friend. But after everything
that has happened, I don’t know how sincere her apology really is.”
“Could it be some kind of trick?” Spike wanted to know. “You know, reel
you all in with an apology and her accepting everything and then, pull out
that little rug from out from under you.”
“I’ve thought of that and it is possible,” Angel answered, going over to
the refrigerator and grabbing two bags of blood. He poured the contents
into two mugs and placed them in the microwave to heat up. He then handed
one to Spike. “I mean, it’s always been a bit much to assume that Buffy
would be just willing to accept my relationship with Willow, but I want to
believe her.”
“Because you still care for her?” Angel nodded his head.
“Yes. I did love Buffy at one time and there will always be a part of me
that cares for her. But there’s a bigger part of me that loves Willow and
knows how hurt she was by Buffy’s accusations.”
“So what are you going to tell Red?”
“I’m going to tell her the truth,” Angel replied. “That Buffy was here and
that she said she was sorry for everything that she has done and said. And
that she wants to try and work on saving their friendship. I just hope that
Buffy was truthful.”
“So do I, Peaches,” Spike growled. “Or, wheelchair or not, she’ll be going
down.”
 

next