Rating: G
Summary: Willow gets just a little irritated w/Buffy.
Spoilers: Enemies.
Feedback: Oh sure.
Disclaimer: Joss owns all. Even you. Grr Argh.
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~Part: 1~
Willow sat at a table in the Bronze, waiting for Xander and Buffy to show. She shouldn't have come so early, but she was starting to feel guilty about Amy still being a rat. Finally, she hadn't been able to take the rodent's steely glare any longer, so she had escaped. There was a time when Willow would have felt horribly self-conscious sitting alone at a table in the Bronze, but no longer.
She was deciding between a cookie and a muffin when she saw Angel across the room. He was brooding, as usual, but after a minute he noticed her. She smiled, and his loneliness seemed to lessen a bit. She called it a success, and even more so when he began working his way over to her.
"Hey, Angel. How's it going?"
She thought his face seemed to darken again, but he gave a half smile and nodded. "Oh, not bad, considering."
Willow felt like she was missing something, because she had a sense that that 'considering' he had used should mean something to her. But he continued on before she could think to ask what he meant.
"Why are you here alone?"
"Oh, I just came before we said we would meet. The others should be here soon. Xander, Buffy..." She tried to read his expression when she said Buffy's name, but his hooded eyes revealed nothing. "You're welcome to stick around. There won't be thrills aplenty, but, on the Hellmouth, that's generally a good thing." Angel smiled again, but then he looked over her shoulder. She saw Buffy and Xander coming in and waved. As they came over, Willow turned around, only to see that Angel had disappeared.
She didn't mention his brief appearance, thinking Buffy might not want to hear it.
*****
The next day at school, Willow and Buffy sat in the Student Lounge talking. Willow noticed that Buffy wasn't very talkative, and after a moment, she seemed to recognize the same look she had seen in Angel the night before.
"Buffy, is something wrong with you and Angel?"
Buffy looked up sharply, startled out of her reverie by Willow's uncanny accuracy. "Is it that obvious?"
Willow smiled sympathetically. "Well, yeah, it kind of is. Wanna tell me?"
Buffy sighed. "Well, we're kind of, off again."
Willow frowned. "Oh no, what is it this time?"
"Well, I asked for some time off. After the whole Faith thing." Willow felt a bit confused.
"The whole Faith thing?"
"Yeah, remember? Angel pretended to be Angelus, evil, and, with Faith?"
"Well, yeah, and I understand that the thought of Faith touching him is repulsive, but he just did what you wanted him to do."
Buffy looked away, and Willow was surprised to feel just the slightest hint of irritation. She wanted to be the supporting friend, but she wasn't sure this was a development that deserved support.
Buffy bit her lip. "I know, Will, it's just, hard for me to see him without seeing her- it will be fine. I know it makes no sense, but it's something I need right now. Please don't be mad at me." Willow could never resist a good plead, but it plagued her for the rest of the day.
Willow loved Buffy, and she knew Buffy loved Angel, and she knew Angel loved Buffy, but she didn't know why their relationship had to be so unutterably complicated. Of course, they both were at fault. Angel had some sort of unwillingness to express any emotion, apart from having jealousy and inferiority complex issues. And then Buffy had jealousy too, and topped it off with a difficulty in trusting Angel.
All in all, Willow thought they both should go into couples therapy and stop making everything so hard. After all, this was about the twenty-third time that Buffy had 'taken a break' from their relationship.
"Sheesh!" Willow sighed to no one. "Doesn't love stand for anything anymore?"
*****
Willow had been willing to not butt in, but the more she had thought about it, the more unfair the situation had seemed. After all, Buffy had her whole gang of friends to lean on in hard times, but Angel had no one but Buffy. So when Buffy took a break, Angel had to take a break from any human contact. Willow maybe didn't know Angel too well, but she did care about him, and she didn't like the thought of him being totally alone. The strength of the Scooby Gang was in sticking together. Anytime it was split up, it suffered, but together, there was nothing they couldn't all face. Willow felt that Angel should have some way to tap into that, some way that connection could exist outside of Buffy. Xander would probably have some violent qualms about a friendship with Angel, and Giles still had torture issues, so it looked like it was up to Willow.
She didn't relish the prospect of what she felt she had to do, but her generous heart didn't allow for the indefinite suffering of someone she cared about. So it was that Willow found herself at the door of the mansion that night, nervous and full of second thoughts, but caring too much to go back home.
She lifted up her little hand, formed a fist, and politely knocked.
~Part: 2~
Angel started at the knocking at his door. Could it be Buffy already? Of course, she usually came in through the garden entrance, and never knocked, but no one else would ever come to see him. He took long strides over to the door, and pulled it open.
"Um, hi." she blurted out. More than ever, Willow felt like an intruder, but it was too late to go back. Angel blinked, but tried not to let his disappointment show. Hopefully, it was hidden by his surprise.
"Willow. What are you doing here?" He shook his head. "By that incredibly rude greeting, I meant, please come in."
Suddenly, he looked up in concern. "Is Buffy alright?" "Oh, yeah, everyone's fine."
She followed him into the foyer. "Okay, I know you were probably disappointed to see me instead of Buffy..."
"No, no, of course not," he interjected, but stopped when he saw Willow smile.
"It's alright. I mean, it's right that you want to see Buffy. Really, she should be the one you do see..." Willow suddenly laughed. "Witness me rambling, and you even more perplexed. Focus- Buffy told me, about the, the 'break', thing."
Angel looked down.
Willow wished she could stop, but forced herself to plow on. "It is
none of my business, but, well, it could be." Angel looked back up at her,
and she could sense his burgeoning confusion. Willow took a deep breath.
"Angel, if you let me, I can be your friend. I mean, Buffy isn't really your friend. You tried that, it obviously hasn't worked. But me- I could be your friend. Being alone too much is really bad and unhealthy. Okay, you were alone for like, a hundred years, but you don't need to be now. I can ramble on more if that would get the point across, but I think you get the point, unless I sound as incoherent to you as I do to me..."
"Willow." She stopped. Angel smiled, and it wasn't a grin, but neither was it only half a smile this time. "Thank you. " Willow had expected more difficulty, and her grin was one of pure delight. She was, however, taken aback by Angel's next question. "Was this Buffy's idea?"
"Oh, no. In fact, I'm not sure how I'll tell her. When I do. If I do. Okay, that's a bridge yet to be crossed, so I won't think about it till then." That was when she noticed the bemused look on Angel's face. "So, since everything I say tends to become a disjointed monologue, why don't you try talking?"
"Have you all found anything else out about the Mayor?"
"No no, no apocalypse discussions this early in the relationship. We will converse in a manner that would fit in any town, not only those towns located on Hellmouths." Angel lifted an eyebrow, but in a friendly way.
"Okay, okay, I do have a back up plan. Until you can think of something to say, I brought something." Willow opened her satchel. Angel slowly nodded.
"Scrabble."
They sat down to play.
~Part: 3~
"That is not a word!" Angel insisted.
"Angel, I read medical references at the age of ten, I promise you, it is a word. I let this alleged word go without a fuss." Willow pointed at another spot on the board.
"Fine, fine, but I still think you made it up."
"Just play, buddy."
Four games of Scrabble later, and it was a close contest between the
immortal and the straight A ivy league desired student. At one point, Angel
had been surprised to find that he had forgotten about Buffy for five whole
minutes.
All of a sudden, Angel seemed to sniff something, and a look of horror crossed his face.
"Oh no, Willow!" She saw the concern in his eyes.
"What, what is it? Monsters of some eating humans kind?"
"No, nothing like that, but sunrise is in half an hour! You've been here all night!"
Willow laughed. "Oh, well, I guess I should head home and shower. Then I can go to school."
"Willow, I'm so sorry-"
"Oh, don't apologize. I'm glad you weren't bored enough to be watching the clock all night. See? Friends can be cool. Sleep deprived but cool. I'll leave the board- we can finish it later." Willow yawned and smiled. Angel walked her to the door. "Good ni- Good morning, Angel. I'll see you- and hopefully Buffy will too."
Willow headed home, and Angel could see her white hand waving as she reached the end of his street.
*****
Willow yawned for the hundredth time in class, and she could sense that the teacher was beginning to get a little irritated. She was usually one of the few students paying attention, but after her all night Scrabble marathon with Angel, it was all she could do to keep her eyes open.
"Hey, you okay?" Buffy looked worried, and Willow smiled in a way that she hoped was comforting, but was probably just sleepy.
"Yeah, I'm okay. I just..." Mr. Duncan's voice cut Willow off.
"Ms. Rosenberg, would you care to share your thoughts with the rest of the class, or would you perhaps prefer a nap?"
In most cases, a teacher's rebuke would have mortified Willow, but she
was too tired and mellow to care.
"No, no, I'm fine." She giggled as he turned back to the board.
Xander looked at her in surprise. "Watch it, Will, he might think I'm starting to wear off on you."
She smiled peacefully. She really ought to try to find some way to tell Buffy about her friendship with Angel, but her sleep deprived brain felt like mush. She would, much in the style of Scarlett O'Hara, think about that tomorrow. She put on her attentive face and let her mind wander.
'I wonder what Angel is doing now?' she thought.
*****
In fact, the object of her speculation was staring at the abandoned Scrabble board, and trying to figure out why Willow had come to him. It was an added complication to her life, and one she certainly didn't need. He couldn't really say that he didn't want them to be friends, but he didn't like to think of himself being an inconvenience to her. <She doesn't consider being nice an inconvenience> a more sensible voice in his head told him.
Well, if Buffy taking a break was the cloud, Willow must be the silver lining. He smiled at the thought. Make that a copper lining.
*****
"Willow? Willow!" Giles' raised voice startled the hacker. "Mmm? What? What?"
"Oh, nothing, although at the rate that you're going, even I could, what do you call it, 'hack' into the city files more quickly than you are." Willow smiled at the thought of Giles attempting to decode, well, anything on the dread machine.
"Giles, please, I'm too tired for such ridiculous hyperbole." Buffy looked at her friend.
"Why are you so tired, Wills? We didn't even go to the Bronze last night."
"Yeah, well, I was working on... vocabulary."
Xander rolled his eyes.
"SAT's are over, buddy. Now you can forget all those extra words, stick to the basics. 'Food', 'Water', and for Sunnydale residents, 'Run' and 'Hide'."
Willow smiled distractedly and focused on the screen, reprimanding herself for letting the others see that something was up with her. She typed faster, keeping up the illusion that nothing was wrong.
*****
Angel told himself that he shouldn't expect Willow to come again the next night, because she had a life, she had friends, she had homework, she hadn't gotten any sleep the night before, he couldn't expect her to come all the time, maybe she had told Buffy and Buffy hadn't liked it, maybe they had all gone to the Bronze, maybe she regretted coming the night before, and it was already nine o'clock where was she?
He had so many objections, so many reasons she should stay away from him. It might make all of her friends angry. She shouldn't walk around Sunnydale by herself, she could get attacked. No one should ever have to feel obligated to him. And countering all his logical reasons that Willow should have nothing to do with him, there was a small voice saying, 'But I like her...'
There was a knock at the door.
*****
Angel opened the door, but this time he was delighted to see Willow.
"Hey, you didn't sleep last night, so if you want to take the night off, I'll understand..."
"Oh, Angel, that's enough. You don't get straight A's by depending too much on sleep. But, since I am mortal, I promise I won't stay till early morning. I even brought my watch. Now that that's settled, don't we have a game to finish?" They resumed their Scrabble war, with Angel beating her mercilessly.
"No fair! I am suffering the consequences of last night- you don't know the meaning of sleep deprivation." He laughed, but realized that she was really very tired.
"Willow, you should really go home. I don't want you getting sick."
"No! I will not, however, play anymore word games. You have an unfair advantage. I will sit on your couch and I will do my math homework."
"You're too tired to play a game, but you can manage to do," Angel glanced at the textbook in her hands. "... AP Calculus?"
"Math is different. Once you know how to do one problem, the rest are bound to be similar. Math is either right or wrong, so it can even be done by sleepy people." She settled down with her pencil, and Angel walked over to the flickering fireplace.
"Did you tell Buffy... well, anything?"
"No," Willow sighed. "I couldn't think of a way to introduce the topic. 'Hey Buffy, you know Angel, that guy you are avoiding right now for no particular reason? Turns out he's wicked good at board games...' No, I didn't think it needed immediate attention. I mean, logically, she shouldn't have a problem with it, but your relationship has never really been founded on logic and common sense. Which is probably a good thing, because a slayer-vampire pairing doesn't, in the strictest sense, make sense."
Angel seemed amused.
"I'm sorry. You probably would rather I didn't talk about Buffy right now."
"No, it isn't that. It's just, you talk about everything like it were so normal. Like you'd discuss, I don't know, Xander and Cordelia."
"I see nothing at all normal about a pairing between such fundamentally opposite creatures, one so human, one so beastly and vicious. Now you and Buffy, that seems normal to me."
Angel had been on the verge of shock before her last sentence, but now he laughed.
"Maybe it's my fault for not being more attentive, but what ever happened to Xander and Cordelia? They were together when I first got back, but suddenly they seemed to hate each other all over again. I never asked Buffy, because it really isn't my business."
"Besides, you and Xander aren't really bestest buds, huh?"
Angel smiled, but noticed that something about the topic seemed painful to Willow. She continued on before he could ask why.
"Their breakup was actually similar to your last one with Buffy. Momentary happiness, unanticipated impalement, and then hell and loneliness."
Angel's response was simple. "What?" Willow had to think fast. She knew Angel wouldn't push to hear the story if she didn't want to tell it, and she desperately didn't want to tell it, but she sort of had to after her quick and cryptic summary. The trouble was, she didn't want Angel to think less of her because of what she and Xander had done. Then again, the true test of friendship was whether or not they could accept each other's shortcomings, so she proceeded to tell the story.
"Okay, Angel, I'm going to tell you what happened, but I really hope
it won't lower your opinion of me too much." That was definitely a startling
thing for him to hear, but he nodded and hoped that she would continue.
"It really started at Homecoming. Xander and I were trying on clothes for the dance in my room, which would be rather strange for anyone else, but it was normal for us. The whole no boys in my room rule that I told you about way back when has never applied to Xander. Anyway, I was in my dress, he was in his tux, and it was weird, and then we were dancing so I could practice in the dress and then," she took the deep breath, took the big plunge, "we sort of, kissed. Oh, we stopped it, called it a clothes fluke, but it seemed to exist outside the fluke, because it kept happening. Anyway, when Spike came back for his brief but lovely visit, Xander and I were locked in the factory, as I'm sure you know. He was unconscious for most of the time, but when he finally woke up, he couldn't even sit upright. I tried to help him, then I tried not to kiss him, but since we thought we were going to die anyway, it didn't seem like it mattered. That was when Oz and Cordy came in. Cordy ran up the stairs that then collapsed, impaling her on this metal thingy. Long painful story in a short but still painful version, Cordy went back to her original dislike of Xander but still comes around because she has a thing for Wesley. Oz forgave me, and now you are officially the last person in Sunnydale to hear this horrible history. Turns out, you don't have a monopoly on the guilt market, cause I know all the vendors."
Angel walked over and sat beside her. "As mistakes go, that is an ugly one, but you've all survived. As for me thinking less of you, you're going to have to find a lot more dirt than that. Now do your math."
She proceeded to dazzle him with her flair for integral calculus. When she reached the point where she yawned more than she wrote, Angel told her it was time to say goodnight.
She did but he didn't, because she was in no state to protect herself. Had she been more observant, Willow might have noticed the shadow following her home, the shadow that lingered on her street till her bedroom lights were finally extinguished.
~Part: 4~
It had been almost a week since Willow had first come to Angel, and not one night had passed that she hadn't come to the mansion. She couldn't always stay long, but she always came and refused to leave unless she saw him smile at least once.
Willow was enjoying their new friendship, and was surprised at how comfortable the time they spent together had turned out to be. In her haste to make Angel feel at ease, she managed to achieve the same result for herself. Of course, hanging over them was the fact that at some point, Buffy would mend her relationship with Angel, making Willow somewhat less important, but by mutual agreement they didn't talk about it.
Actually, they talked about everything but it. Willow had feared awkward
pauses, lapses in conversation, but they somehow never occurred. No one
would have been able to guess that a vampire and a teenage hacker would
have anything in common, and maybe they didn't, but that didn't keep them
from talking for hours. On this night, the topic being discussed was Willow's
ability to make friends.
"Angel, if I'm so good at making friends, then why aren't I popular? Look at Cordelia- people just see her, and they want to know her."
"That may be true, but that isn't what I'm talking about. Cordelia makes a good first impression, but each successive impression can be somewhat similar. People may not flock to you, but the ones that ever hear you speak can't help wanting to know you better. There's something about you, that makes people want to know what you're thinking."
"Well, if having people wonder what you're thinking makes you popular, then you should be knee-deep in groupies."
"Very funny. I just think you know that having a few friends who think you're amazing is better than a crowd of random and superficial admirers." The compliment buried in his remark made Willow smile, but she didn't want to make him uncomfortable by noticing it.
"Well yes, I am pretty amazing. So, what sort of folk are your usual friends, Angel? I know they probably aren't all like me."
"My usual friends? Well..." he trailed off, and his brows knit in thought.
"I'm not sure I can really say I've ever had a friend before..." Willow cut him off.
"That is ridiculous! Almost two and a half centuries and you've never had a friend before me? Tell me you're kidding."
"I wish I could. Back when I was human, I can't say as I had any real friends. As a child, I played with other boys but was never actually close to any of them. When I was older, I was too dissipated to have friends. I really only had drinking buddies, as depressing as that is. Then the vampire ages began, and demons don't really have bosom buddies. When I got my soul, I pretty much hid from the world and wallowed in self misery for a long time. In '96, Whistler found me..."
"Whistler?"
"He's this, good demon guy. He brought me to LA, where I saw Buffy, and he offered to help me get back on track..."
"That sounds like a friend to me."
"More of a mentor. Besides, I only knew him for a couple of months. He disappeared once I moved to Sunnydale. I never really knew him, because it was pretty much a business relationship. In Sunnydale, there was Buffy, who, as you said, is not my friend, and now you."
Willow was silent for a moment, then she smiled.
"Your first friend. Wow, there's responsibility for you. I will attempt to fulfill my duty, as your first friend." "And what exactly does that entail?"
"Well, for normal friendships, remembering birthdays, hanging out in
general. Then there are Sunnydale friendships. Those involve defending
your friends against homicidal demons, preying mantises, robots, and kissing
mummies..."
"Are you talking about Buffy at this point?"
"Actually, Xander. He rescued me from his Inca mummy girlfriend one time. As for you, I will try to protect you from holy water, stakes and sunlight. Oh, and skanky slayers like Faith."
"You don't like her much, do you?"
"Ick. Remember Vampire Willow? Well, she was less skanky than Faith. Ew. Plus, now she's evil, which makes her even more annoying. I can see why Buffy was traumatized by seeing her kiss you, but I would tend to direct that trauma into my dislike of Faith, rather than less constructive paths. Ew ew ew. Okay, no more Faith discussions, they just irk me. Tell me about Ireland." Angel was about to comply when they both heard a noise in the garden. Willow took a breath. "You know that bridge we were going to cross when we came to it? I think we're just about to reach the water's edge."
That was when Buffy entered the room.
~Part: 5~
Buffy stopped dead when she saw Willow and Angel sitting together in front of the fireplace. Her face reflected many emotions, but the only discernible one was confusion.
Willow had been thinking fast ever since she heard Buffy's footsteps approaching. Her instinct was to look startled, guilty even, for having her secret found out. However, if she did that, it would make it seem like she had something to be ashamed of, which was absolutely false. 'Make it seem normal,' she thought. 'Don't screw up Buffy's relationship with Angel, or you can pretty much forget about being friends with either of them. She's going to be confused- don't act that way yourself. Deep breath.'
"Buffy! You're here! That's great. What a nice surprise." Angel looked at Willow as he realized she had managed to find the only way to defuse the situation. He smiled at Buffy, trying to make her feel like less of an intruder. Willow continued to speak as Buffy walked over hesitantly.
"Angel was going to tell me about Irelan- Oh gosh!" Buffy and Angel both looked at her.
"I'm so sorry! I'm so thoughtless. Buffy, you came here to talk to Angel, I should leave you two alone. Just let me get my stuff..."
"No, Willow, you don't have to leave." It was the first time Buffy had spoken since she came in.
"You were here first, and really, you can hear what I have to say. " She turned to Angel.
"Angel I'm sorry, Willow was right when she told me I was overreacting. I need to make a more conscious effort not to be selfish..." he walked over to her side.
"Buffy, you don't need to apologize." "Maybe not, but I am anyway. In
keeping with the usual trend, I was wrong..."
"Stop it!" Buffy looked up at Willow, who had her backpack over her
shoulder.
"Honestly, you guys blame yourselves for so much. No wonder you're soulmates. I'll leave you here to hash it out." Buffy shook her head.
"No, Willow, I'd really like you to stay. Besides, I myself would like to hear about Ireland." Angel laughed and the three of them sat down together.
*****
Willow and Buffy finally left together later that evening.
"So, Buffy, I guess you were pretty surprised to see me there tonight."
"Yeah, I was. I didn't know you guys were hanging out."
"I should have told you, but I didn't really know how. I hope you're
not upset. It was just that I realized that without seeing you, Angel really
saw no one. The thought of him being totally isolated really depressed
me, and before I knew what I was doing, I went to him and offered to be
his friend."
"Oh, Willow, how could it ever upset me that you're the nicest person alive? Angel is lucky to have a friend like you, and so am I." They had reached Willow's house by this point. "Goodnight Buffy. I'm glad you know now. It wasn't ever a guilty secret, more of a withheld confidence, but I'm still glad you are okay with everything." They said goodnight, and Buffy went home herself.
~Part: 6~
Buffy lay in her bed, still unable to get to sleep. She chided herself
for her confusion and even discomfort, but she couldn't help it. She knew
Willow would never be anything but a wonderful friend to her and Angel,
but still.
'She wasn't such a wonderful friend to Oz when she had her fling with
Xander,' a nasty voice in her head said. Buffy was repulsed that she could
even think such a horrible thought. 'I love Willow,' she kept telling herself,
but the truth didn't lessen her uncertainty on how to deal with the new
circumstances.
In spite of all appearances, Buffy wasn't quite as sure of herself as her image suggested. When in Slayer mode, she had to maintain a certain cockiness. If she ever even entertained the thought of losing, she would die. She had no room for uncertainty in that area of her life. She found that it helped to project that image of self-assuredness. But Buffy was a normal teenage girl, with perhaps more self-doubt than most. She had serious rejection issues, which cropped up more often than she would like. Back when everyone's nightmares had come true, the most painful had been when her father had expressed his disappointment in her. Any child of divorce has abandonment and guilt issues. Buffy also had to deal with the burden of knowing she could have saved the lives of many deceased Sunnydale residents. Sometimes the self-doubt that plagued her was practically paralyzing.
Now her best friend was becoming close to her boyfriend. She knew she really had nothing to worry about.
And still she could not sleep.
*****
"Angel, all I'm saying is that you should give it a try." Willow was trying to be persuasive, but if Angel was one thing, it was steady. "Willow, why can't things stay the way they are now?"
"You'll never know what you're missing. Don't you even want to see the possibilities?"
"I've never even considered it..."
"Well why not? Think of what could happen if you'd only give me a chance to show you." She smiled slyly. "I'm a great teacher." "I don't think..."
"Why are you so close-minded? Is it the vampire thing? They'll never even know. I won't tell them, you won't tell them. All it takes is one night and I'm sure you'll understand why I care so much about this. I can show you things I've never showed anyone else before." Angel was trying to hold firm, but Willow had her resolve face on, and he was weakening.
"I just don't think you know what you're saying. It's not that I don't want to, but I don't think I can."
Suddenly Buffy interrupted. "Oh, God, Angel," she cried. He looked away.
Buffy seized his arm.
"Just do what she wants. She won't give up until you do."
Willow nodded smugly. Angel began to shake his head, but Buffy sighed in exasperation. "Just go buy a computer! It will make her happy. Learn how to go online, and Willow will feel accomplished." Xander walked over from the dance floor, because they were all at the Bronze.
"What are you all talking about?" Willow smiled. "I'm going to make Angel get a computer."
Xander laughed. "My condolences. She'll never let you rest until you're as hooked on the internet as she is. Isn't anyone going to dance, now that this life altering decision has been made?"
"I'll stay here and finish my drink. You all go ahead." She watched as her friends went over to join the crowd. She reflected that for all that Angel seemed to hang around at the Bronze an awful lot, he never seemed to really dance.
It had taken a bit of convincing, making him come tonight. Still, the dynamic of their recently developed relationship had changed when he and Buffy had reconciled. There was an awkward undercurrent that developed when the three of them hung out at the mansion. Each of them felt like an intruder, in some way.
Willow saw Angel smile at something Buffy said, and it almost brought tears to her eyes. This was what she had wanted for Angel. She wanted him to be with them and not feel uncomfortable about it. Finally, he was beginning to belong.
~Part: 7~
Buffy was sitting in the library when Owen came in. They made the briefest possible eye contact, and she began to squirm almost imperceptibly. Just her luck that he was one of the few kids in the school who ever actually entered the library. Giles came out of his office.
"Ah, Owen, hello." Giles had a bit of a fondness for the boy, not only because of his love for books but because of his unfortunate past with Buffy.
"Hi, Mr. Giles. I'm just returning this book." "Thank you." Giles picked up the book. "What happened to Dickinson?" Owen smiled.
"Oh, I have my own copy at home. Besides, she-" he pointed at the thin volume,"is almost as morbid. Well, gotta go." He beat a hasty retreat as Buffy made her way over to the counter.
"What book is it?" Giles pushed it towards her. "Sonnets from the Portuguese, by Elizabeth Barrett Browning." Buffy's forehead creased at the familiarity of the title, then cleared as she realized that it was the book Angel had given her for her birthday. It had been stolen along with her jacket that night, so she had never gotten to read it.
'They aren't really Portuguese," Giles continued. "She wrote them all for her husband, Robert Browning, who had nicknamed her his little Portuguese." Giles almost fell over as he watched his slayer pick up the book and look at the title page.
"Buffy, are you aware that you just voluntarily opened a book?" But Buffy did not hear him.
*****
"So I told Xander, that no, I didn't think the German in 'The Three Amigos' looked like The Judge, but he-" she broke off at the sound of Buffy's cough. "Hey, are you okay? That cough doesn't sound too good." Buffy rubbed her forehead.
"Yeah, I feel pretty bad. Ugh." Willow's concern for her friend grew, because she knew Buffy rarely admitted to feeling badly. "Buffy, you should go home. Now. And you cannot patrol tonight. Stay home, get sleep, feel better. I don't want my best friend tempting fate by ignoring the warning systems of illness. I know we had planned on going to the Bronze tonight, but forget about it. Heal! That's an order." Buffy smiled at her.
"Thanks, Will. I think you're right." She walked off, stumbling a little.
*****
"Thanks, Mrs. Summers. Will you let us know when she's awake? Okay. See you later." Willow hung up.
"Well?" Angel asked worriedly. "She's sleeping, but we can go over to visit later. Don't worry, she'll be okay. Hey, you know what we should do? We should make her soup." Angel's face showed his doubt, but Willow only laughed. "Don't worry, I'll do the cooking. You can hover nervously over the phone if that will make you happy."
*****
Buffy slowly opened her eyes. She was actually feeling better, but didn't want to get up yet. She looked beside her bed, where she saw her back pack. She remembered the book stashed inside, and pulled it out. Poetry wasn't usually her forte, but if Angel had given them to her, she should at least read some. She opened to a random page.
~X~
Yet, love, mere love, is beautiful indeed And worthy of acceptation.
Fire is bright, Let temple burn, or flax; an equal light Leaps in the flame
from cedar-plank or weed: And love is fire. And when I say at need I love
thee... mark!... I love thee- in thy sight I stand transfigured, glorified
aright,
With conscience of the new rays that proceed Out of my face toward thine. There's nothing low In love, when love the lowest meanest creatures Who love God, God accepts while loving so. And what I feel, across the inferior features Of what I am, doth flash itself, and show How that great worth of Love enhances Nature's.
Buffy slowly lowered the book, her cheeks bathed in tears. She continued to read, and her weeping did not cease. After everything that had happened he still loved her enough to give her a gift like this.
*****
"Angel- grab those carrots, will you? Ack, you're spilling them! Stop! Ow!" Willow stomped over to him. "Just... go call Buffy's mom. I'll take care of the soup. Jeez, I know you don't have to eat food, but for heaven's sake..." Angel laughed and skedaddled as she continued stirring the witch's latest brew.
~Part: 8~
"Willow! Angel! Come on in. She was reading last time I looked in on her. Oops, be careful-" Willow almost spilled the entire pot of soup as Angel bumped into her.
"Agh, Angel, watch out." "Is that- soup?"
"Yeah, Mrs. Summers, it is. We made it to make Buffy feel better. Well, actually," she added darkly, "I made it and the vampire made a nuisance of himself. Can I heat this up on the stove?" She looked at Angel, who was hovering nervously. "Well don't just stand there being useless! Go up and see how your girlfriend is doing. Where's the ladle?" She turned back to the pot as Angel slipped upstairs.
He quietly opened the door to the darkened room. He walked silently over to the bed where Buffy was sleeping yet again. As he reached out a hand to touch her cheek, he noticed the book she clutched to her chest, even in her sleep. 'Sonnets from the Portuguese,' he thought, and smiled. Buffy stirred, and smiled wanly when she saw her visitor. "Hi," she whispered.
"How are you feeling?" "Better now that you're here." He took her hand in his. "I didn't mean to wake you. I was being quiet." "You didn't make any noise. I could just sense that you were here." She could see him almost smile in the dark. "Angel- thank you." "What for?" She showed him the book.
"I never got around to reading them till now- mostly because the copy you gave me was stolen by a vampire. They're beautiful." "Like you." He leaned down to kiss her, but she pulled away. "You shouldn't, I'm not well-"
"What, are you gonna get me sick?" She laughed.
That was when Willow walked in.
*****
Willow grinned at the sight of the two kissing, then slowly backed out of the room and went back to the head of the stairs. She waited five minutes, then returned down the hallway. She shuffled her feet, rattled the tray, even hummed, trying to make as much noise as possible. She tried to knock on the door, not an easy feat while balancing the bowl of soup.
"Hey Buffy, are you ready for some soup?" She pushed the door open, and this time Angel was sitting up.
"How is our patient doing?" "I'm feeling better with you two here. I should be able to come to school tom-" she was cut off by a fit of coughing. Willow set down the tray and went to her side.
"I don't think so Buffy. Rest, recuperate, read, and do other things starting with the letter 'R'. Besides, since when have you been adverse to missing a little school? There isn't an ascension or an apocalypse due this week, so you can afford a little down time. Am I right Angel? Tell her I'm right." He smiled at her tirade.
"She's right." "See? And he's been around for a long time, he can tell when someone's right. You have no choice but to obey."
"You sound like another Moloch- alright, I won't push it. How is everyone at school?"
*****
Willow and Angel had stayed until Buffy had shown signs of fatigue, when they promptly excused themselves.
Back at the mansion, Willow plopped down as Angel stirred the dying fireplace.
"Ugh, I should go home soon. You know, I keep meaning to ask you about that." Angel looked at her.
"About going home soon?" "No, no, about the fire. I mean, you always have a blazing fire, even though it got up to eighty degrees today. It seems a little pointless. Then there's the Hell thing. If I were you, I'd probably avoid fire as much as possible. Tell me, Angel," she looked into his eyes, "are you a closet pyromaniac?" He laughed as he sat next to her. "No, I'm not. And yes, fire does bring back my memories of hell. But I keep the fire burning because, well, I'm cold."
"You're cold?" He nodded. "It isn't a temporary condition, with vampires. All vampires are cold, because they're all dead. But unlike normal corpses, they can feel that they are cold. It isn't crippling, but it isn't pleasant. Actually, that's one reason vampires are so blood crazy."
"What do you mean?" "Well, vampires feed off humans for the more obvious reasons. They need blood to survive, and they enjoy killing things. But I can attest to the fact that they also do it to get warm. When you've just fed, the blood of a human is in you, lending you the warmth of their life, until it cools to your normal temperature. Still, part of the rush of feeding is feeling their heat spread through you... Oh, Willow, I'm sorry." "What?"
"You can't want to hear me talking about this. It must repulse you." She could see that old self-hatred entering his eyes, and grabbed his shoulder.
"Oh, don't be ridiculous. I like learning new stuff, and it's not like I didn't know you used to feed. So eating only cold blood is pretty much like an unpleasant diet for you, huh?" He laughed at the idea. "Yeah, Weight Watchers for the undead. Not a very popular program, unfortunately."
"Hey, I just had a thought- can vampires be overweight? I mean, isn't all blood pretty much the same when it comes to fat content?" Angel marvelled at the inner workings of her mind.
"You just have the same body forever. A dead body can't really change." "Ooh, don't say that, I don't like the idea that you're a cadaver... well that really stinks if you've just gained five pounds right before you get changed. I mean, those are never coming off. That cellulite is a permanent part of you. Now that is a scary thought."
~Part: 9~
Buffy and Willow walked out the school doors.
"I'm glad you're feeling better, Buffy. This town needs a healthy Slayer."
"Yeah, I'm going to patrol extra to make up for it. Hey, are you going over to Angel's today?"
"I was going to give him back a book I had borrowed, but if can wait if you'd like."
"What? If I like?" "Well, he's your boyfriend, Buffy. If you want to see him alone..." "No, I can't be the one to decide when you get to see him. Look, I have to train with Giles for awhile. You go over to the mansion, and I'll meet you guys there."
"See ya." "Bye."
*****
"What does it feel like to put your vampire face on?"
"What? You don't really want to know that."
"But I do! Oz told me what it's like to go wolfy- kind of prickly all
over. Can you feel your fangs growing, or what?"
"Yes, I can."
"Don't go all taciturn on me. Tell me details!" "Well, I'm not sure if I can describe it in words you'll understand. I suppose the best way to describe it would be that you sort of, release it."
"Meaning?" "There's always a sort of tugging towards wearing the face, and it takes an effort, however minimal, to keep the human face on. That's why a lot of young vampires always wear their fangs. It's just easier, and it takes practice to stay human for extended periods of time. That's why I'll switch in extreme situations. When I'm really concentrating on something else, I'll forget to worry about it, which is when I change." "So that's why you switched when you and Buffy kissed for the first time." Angel looked surprised at the question, but nodded. "If it's easier to wear the vampire face, why do normal vampires ever switch to human?"
"Well, it's much easier to catch a human in a normal face. But mostly,
it's vanity. Vampires have huge superiority complexes. 'We're immortal,
we're gods.' And even vampires know they look prettier in normal faces.
So, they work a little harder and look a lot better."
"Which is also why more powerful vampires look human more often- more
power makes them even more vain."
"Exactly." Buffy came in the front door. "Hey Willow, Oz was looking for you. I told him I'd tell you." Willow jumped up. "Oh no! I wanted to get to school before the sun set- it's a full moon tonight. Darn. I better get over to the library."
"I'll go with you," Buffy replied. "Angel, I need to patrol- would you like to come? Giles doesn't want me too alone, after being sick." "Sure. We can escort Willow and head over to the graveyard."
*****
Willow walked down the school hallway, with Buffy and Angel walking further behind. She was very irritated with herself for being late, and worried that Oz would be too. Still she could talk to him tomorrow... Suddenly she heard a howl of pain, that dwindled down to a high-pitched whine. She flashed a look at Buffy and Angel.
"That was Oz!" She dashed down the hallway towards the library, her two friends following.
~Part: 10~
Willow burst through the library doors just in time to see Faith finish it by slitting the werewolf's throat. "Oz!" Willow cried out, and Faith giggled.
"Willow? He just wants to be friends." Willow ran to Oz's side as the wolf form faded away to become the limp body of the red-haired boy. His hand was already becoming cold. Willow advanced on Faith in a blind fury.
Buffy and Angel burst in as Faith thrust her knife into Willow's abdomen and twisted.
"Willow!" Buffy screamed.
She caught Willow as she slumped to the floor next to Oz. Faith smirked at the three figures beneath her. "Bad day, B?" She toyed with the knife, but suddenly, a strong pair of hands snapped her neck. Angel released his hold on her and tossed the body away, sinking down to clutch Willow's hand. She remembered what he had told her about the vampiric visage, but he was too distressed to put his human face back on. She could still see the tears in his yellow eyes.
"Call 911," Buffy said frantically, but Willow shook her head, and Angel recognized impending death when he saw it. Willow's voice was breathless but sure.
"Too late. I can tell." Buffy turned her face away, and Willow began to cry. "I can't stop now! I have too much to do."
Angel squeezed her hand tightly. He thought he something flash in her eyes.
"Goodbye Angel." She pulled him down by his shoulders. He just had time to be surprised at her strength when she thrust his fangs into her neck. He was too astonished to immediately fight his instinct to feed, and her blood was in his mouth and throat before he managed to break free.
"Willow, what the hell-" Willow looked up at him, giving a pale impression of her resolve face. "Make me a vampire, Angel."
"What!?" Buffy hissed. Angel looked at her with horror in his eyes.
"Willow, I can't..." She grabbed the lapels of his leather jacket. "Angel, I'm going to die tonight no matter what. But if you help me, I don't have to leave."
"But you won't have a soul!" Willow smiled, but the smile was strained and desperate.
"The reason I can't leave is because I've been working on a way to give any vampire their soul...You can lock me up until you work the spell."
She was getting paler any minute, and Angel's knees were sticky with blood.
"Please- I can still help you if I'm here." Angel knew that she couldn't understand what she was asking, but he would sentence her to a permanent death if he refused.
Buffy gave her unwilling consent with a nod, and he looked back at Willow. She was almost gone.
He gave her his blood.
*****
Angel and Buffy carried Willow's body (now a corpse) into the bookcage, and locked her inside. They sat in each other's arms, and were still there when Giles came through the library doors. He looked into their faces, and saw the three casualties-- Faith, Oz, and Willow. He grabbed the counter for support and stuttered for some explanation. "Are they dead?"
Buffy nodded, but suddenly Giles gasped. "Willow?" Buffy and Angel whirled around.
Willow was waking up.