From the instant Angel stepped into the library, Willow’s world started moving in slow motion.

First there was the collective gasp from her friends. Then there was the look of complete shock on their faces. Finally, the shouting began.

“Angel?” Buffy cried.

“Oh my God.” Cordelia yelped, hiding behind Xander. He jumped up and started moving away from the table.

“How could you? Are you insane?” Willow started slightly when she realized that the question was directed at her.

“X-Xander, please…”

“NO, I can’t believe you’d do this!! How could you do this to everyone, Willow?” The intense look of utter betrayal in his eyes was worse than anything she could have ever imagined.

Giles stared blankly at the whole scene before silently stalking off into his office.

“Xander, I didn-,”

“I can never trust you again,” he hissed through clenched teeth, angrier than she’d ever seen him.

Unable to stand it, Willow looked past him, to where Angel had walked over to Buffy and was talking to her in a muted voice. The slayer looked to be near tears and was shaking her head slowly. He reached out to touch her arm and she flinched away from him.

“I can’t believe you brought that bastard back in here,” Xander growled, drawing her attention back to him, “How dare you?? How dare you endanger ALL of us? How dare you…disgrace Ms. Calendar’s memory like this?”

“Xander…” she choked out, trying to get away from him.

He took ahold of her arm harshly, “Willow, I can’t BEL-,”

“Xander! Stop!!” Cordelia insisted, grabbing him and trying to pull him away.

“Get the bloody hell out of my way,” Giles bellowed, coming out of his office with a crossbow in hand.

That’s when the real pandimonium broke loose.

Cordelia stopped struggling with Xander almost instantly and looked up in horror.

Angel paled slightly but didn’t say anything as Giles roughly grabbed Buffy and shoved her away. He lifted the crossbow and aimed it directly at the vampire’s heart.

“No!” Willow screamed, breaking away from Xander, and rushing to scramble over the table.

“Willow,” Xander flew after her, grabbing her ankle just as she launched herself upwards.

“You killed her, you bastard, you killed the only woman I ever loved and you deserve to die for it,” Giles snarled, a dull and icy look in his eyes as his fingers gripped the trigger.

Angel made no attempt to move.

Buffy sat a few feet away, stunned.

Cordelia quickly reganed her senses and ran over to where Willow and Xander were still fighting.

“I’m sending you to hell.”

With a vicious kick to the mouth, Willow forced Xander to drop her foot and launched him tumbling backwards into Cordy. Crawling on her hands and knees, she crossed the table and shot off the other side, falling face first.  Her arms reached out and encircled Angel’s waist, pulling them down together.

As they spiraled downwards, Willow heard a faint wooshing noise just as the arrow flew past, nicking the side of her face. She landed heavily on his chest.

Shaking, she sat up and lightly touched the cut the arrow's near miss had made, just under her eye.

“Willow, get out of the bloody way,” Giles ground out, his voice barely recognizeable to her ears.

She looked up to see him standing over them. Breathing hard and perspiring profusely, he was reloading the crossbow without taking his gaze off of the pair below. His eyes were vacant yet wild. He looked almost as if he’d lost his mind.

“No,” she whispered defiantly.

He held up the crossbow, “I said get out of my way.”

She stood up, suddenly getting very angry herself, “I said, NO goddammit.”

The librarian faltered slightly.

“Put that thing down,” she demanded, “Before you hurt someone.”

“Willow, get out of the way. I’m not going to ask you again,” he was almost pleading.

“If you want to kill him, you’ll have to kill me first,” she said softly, deliberately walking directly up to the tip of the arrow, “Put the crossbow DOWN, Giles. You don’t know what you’re doing. Please.”

There was a moment when she was sure her heart stopped beating. One brief moment when she thought he might actually shoot through her to get to the vampire below. Luckily, he didn’t.

With a look of bitter sorrow and grief, Giles slowly lowered the weapon.

Willow let out the breath she hadn’t even known she’d been holding. Over his shoulder, she saw Buffy starting to walk towards them. She looked on as a very shaken Cordelia helped up Xander who was nursing his injured jaw.

“Giles, I-I’m so sorry-,” she moved towards him shakily, suddenly switching from an angry, stubborn fighter back to a frightened sixteen year old.

He shook his head and drew away from her, “Get out,” he whispered.

“What?” she asked, not quite comprehending.

He turned his full attention to his young protégé, “Get..the..bloody hell…OUT OF MY LIBRARY,” he shouted at her, his face contorted in fury.

She gasped and paled slightly, her chin starting to tremble. Backing away, she felt the tears springing into her eyes again. She turned and bumped into Angel who had, at some point during the confrontation, gotten up to stand behind her. She pushed past him blindly and ran out the doors, top speed. Dead silence fell throughout the room and they could hear her sobbing loudly down the hall.

Wordlessly, Angel turned and ran after her.

She was a streak of red, sobbing hysterically, running down the empty streets of Sunnydale like a train out of control. She ran hard and fast, unseeing and uncaring.
For all she knew she was the only person left in the world. Nothing mattered anymore.

It took him almost three blocks to catch up with her.

Once he got close enough to see her, he took to calling out her name, but to no avail. She either didn’t hear him or chose not to respond. He picked up the pace, straining slightly but determined to catch her.

Finally, just as she turned down the corner of her own street, he managed to snag one of her suspenders and drag her to a halt. Barely stopping to even catch her breath, she jumped right into his arms like a lost kitten, wrapping her legs around his waist, her arms around his neck and whimpering softly. Two weeks ago, this type of behavior would have made him uncomfortable. Heck, two hours ago it would have made him uncomfortable. Not now. No, now all had changed. He had grown used to this, used to her.

And so, he stood there, stroking her hair and offering silent support until she was finally able to speak. Briefly, he considered carrying her home, but before he could, she slowly lowered her legs and slid to the ground on her own accord, still leaning weakly against him.

“They hate me, all of them. Not that I blame them,” she whispered dully.

“No, they don’t hate you, Willow. They hate me. They’re just surprised and confused right now, that’s all. They’ll get over it. No one could ever hate you.”

“I’ve never seen Giles so mad,” her voice sounded strained as she started walking towards her house. He followed closely behind, just in case.

“You saved my life. Again,” he gently reminded her, “It was very brave of you.”

“I kicked Xander in the head. Oh My GOD. I kicked my best friend in the head.”

He soon grew to realize that she really wasn’t paying attention to what he was saying.
Knowing her extremely sensitive nature, the events of this night must have been an almost unbearable blow for her. Her friendships, though few, meant the world to her.
And tonight, her world had shattered.

They slowly walked up the steps to her house, “And Cordelia..I think I knocked Xander into her..I hope she didn’t get hurt too. I saw her standing up, so I-I don’t think she broke anything,” her voice cracked slightly as she blindly unlocked the door, her eyes filling with tears again.

“Willow,” he placed a firm hand on her shoulder, “They’ll snap out of it. I promise you.
Xander wasn’t badly hurt and I saw Cordelia. She was a bit shaken up, but that was it. I can guarantee you that Giles feels guilty about everything already.”

She stepped into the house before turning to face him, “He kicked me out of the library, Angel. I never thought that he’d ever kick me out of there.” The library had always been a haven for Willow. A private, safe place she could always run to whenever she was in trouble or in need of advice. Being exiled from there was like simply throwing her out undefended into the middle of the Hellmouth.

“I know he did, Willow, but I’m sure he regrets it. He was just mad at me and you were in the way,” pausing, Angel recalled the way she’d stood directly in front of him, unmoving, her slight frame creating an impenetrable shield between himself and death.

“W-what you did back there,” she stared at him, unwaveringly, her green eyes still filled with tears, “It was very brave, Willow, but it was also foolish. I never want you to put yourself in harms way because of me, do you understand that?” He hadn’t meant for his words to come out sounding so harsh, but he was truly scared that she’d get herself into trouble because of him some day.

“I can’t make that promise, Angel. You know that,” she gave him a tiny, sad smile,
“It’s just the price of friendship, I guess. You’re stuck with me.”

He closed his eyes and she could almost sense him blocking her out emotionally. By the time he looked back at her again, his features were completely neutral, “Get some sleep, Willow. By tomorrow morning, everything will be fine.”

She nodded wordlessly and searched his eyes carefully for something, anything which would indicate his thoughts and feelings.

“Goodnight, Willow.”

There it was.

A faint *something* she picked up on which told her that she’d never see him again.

She knew he’d never kill himself as he’d tried to do that night she’d changed him back, but what he could and would do is leave Sunnydale. He could very easily disappear into the night without a trace and never come back if he felt it was the ‘right’ thing to do.

He turned and started walking away, heading towards the steps of the porch without turning back.

And suddenly in one brief, blinding moment, everything made sense. The world and all the universe be damned, if there was one thing Willow Rosenberg had ever been sure of in her life, this was it.

She wasn’t going to let him.

“Angel,” she said.

He heard the fire in her voice long before he saw it in her eyes.

She reached out and caught ahold of his hand. Reluctantly, he turned back to face her.

In an almost symbolic gesture, she held up his hand, entwining her fingers in his and brought it to the threshold, “Angel,” she repeated, this time more softly.

He felt a lump growing in his throat.

Staring at him, almost directly into him, with her thoughtful green eyes, she spoke the words which broke his heart and restructured his life all over again, “Angel, I invite you to enter my home.”

And with that, the floodgates, quite literally, broke.

The invisible shield which had been both physically and emotionally separating them vanished in a flash and for what would be the second time in two weeks, Willow Rosenberg would be there to witness what used to be a very rare event.

Angel crying.

Stepping into the house, with one swift motion he lifted her up high and crushed her to him, hugging her fiercely. She shared in his tears.

“You’re always welcome here, Angel. Always and forever, no matter what,” she murmured into his neck.

He just held onto her for what seemed like an eternity in itself.

After several moments, Willow started fidgeting, “Angel? As much as I like you, I can’t breathe.”

Pulling away, he grinned at her. They were almost nose to nose and he watched as she blushed slightly, “Sorry,” he whispered and lowered her to the floor.

There was an embarassed pause as he wiped the tears from his own eyes before reaching out to do the same for her.

“Why don’t you, ahhh, stay for a few hours?” she asked, sniffling hopefully up at him, “I don’t think I’ll be sleeping any time soon and I’d really appreciate the company.”

Angel just smiled, “I think I’d like that. A lot.” She was right. This was the price of friendship, and it was one he was more than willing to pay. He was, for all practical purposes, stuck with her.

And he couldn’t have been happier about it.

The library was dead silent for several minutes after Willow and Angel’s exit.

The silence was finally broken by the soft sobbing of Buffy as she placed her hand on Giles arm.

The sound broke the Watcher out of his trance and suddenly the memories and events of the last few minutes came rushing back. With an immense sense of regret, he recalled what he’d last said to the recently departed teenager. < Did I really just kick her out of here? Was I honestly that cruel? > Dropping the crossbow limply to the floor, he knew that he’d have to call her up immediately, go over to her house if need be, in order to make amends. First things first, though, he’d have to deal with the current damage, both physical and emotional in the library itself.

Turning, he cradled the Slayer as she wept brokenly and buried her face in his shirt.
He looked past her to Cordelia and Xander. The dark haired girl had slowly started picking up some of the scattered books and papers which had fallen to the floor when Willow had leapt across the table. Xander was just staring at an invisible spot on the floor, a slightly stunned look on his face while his hand covered half his jaw. It was already turning a nasty bluish color.

“Xander, are you alright?” Giles asked hoarsely.

“She kicked me,” he answered in a mechanical voice, mumbling slightly so he didn’t move his mouth too much.

“Is anything broken? Shall I take you to a hospital?”

“She kicked me,” he repeated.

Gently extracting himself from Buffy’s embrace, he moved to the boy and started examining the injury.

“It doesn’t look too bad, but I still think we should get it X-rayed.”

“Was it really him?” Buffy whispered softly, “Is he really back?”

“So it appears,” Giles replied, careful this time to keep his personal emotions out of things.

Cordelia walked over to stand next to them, having finished picking up most of the mess.

“Come on, Xander, let’s get you to the hospital,” Giles gently took ahold of the boy’s sleeve and started to guide him towards the door.

“She kicked me and then sh-she went of with him,” he muttered, still in disbelief.

“Yes, she did,” Cordelia burst out finally, unable to stand it anymore, “she did and you beyond deserved it.”

“What?” Xander asked in mild shock.

“Willow kicked you and you deserved it. You heard what I said,” she stared at him, her eyes snapping dangerously, “I have never seen anyone be so completely selfish, callous and..and…JEALOUS in my entire life, Xander Harris. She’s Willow for pete’s sake and you completely tore her apart. I canNOT believe some of the things you said to her. You used her relationship with Ms. Calendar against her just because you were mad that she went ahead and did something without you. That she chose someone over you. You’re not fooling anyone.” With that, she walked past all three of them and slammed out the door.

“She’s nuts,” Xander spat painfully.

“But she’s right,” Buffy sighed softly, “We all handled that very badly. Poor Willow. Things like this always seem to happen to her. I’m going over to check up on her once we get you to the hospital, Xander. Afterwards, I suggest you go talk to Cordy.”

They had spent the last three hours talking. Again.

At first, she’d grilled him about his conversation with Buffy. In classic Willow style, she shoved her own problems out of the way in order to help him with his. All things taken together, she honestly felt that the Slayer couldn’t be away from him for too long while knowing that he’d been changed back. She was a firm believer that Buffy would come to her senses and seek Angel out sooner or later.

Once they got past the events of the night, they got to talking about their respective childhoods and Willow learned some more about Angel’s past. She cherished and treasured each and every anecdote and story he told her. Her eyes glittered when one ended and she laughed and urged him to tell her another. Feeling him starting to truly open up to her, she knew how precious and rare this was for him and she was grateful for every second of it.

He, in turn, relished in hearing about her normal, if somewhat sheltered childhood. He took joy in her enthusiasm as she related the scores of embarassing stories she had concerning Xander as well as the many adventures they’d had when they were younger.
< She loves him so much. > Angel realized with a vague tinge of anger < That boy is so stupid and blind. > If he’d ever had a chance at love as beautiful and innocent and complete as that, he’d hold onto it and never let it go. < Xander’s a foolish teenager. > What the boy obviously saw as a gawky and slightly awkward sisterly figure, would in fact be a tall, graceful, gorgeous young woman in a matter of a few years. Angel had seen it happen several times before. It wouldn’t be until then when Xander would come to his senses, and at that point, Willow will have moved on. < Well, it’s his loss, the idiot, if he can’t see how perfect she is… > He turned his attention back to her animated gesturing and realized that she’d moved on to yet another story. Something about how, in fifth grade, she and Xander had taken to competing in “funny face making contests”. She was in the process of demonstrating, actually when he’d switched back to fully paying attention and he burst out laughing at her crossed eyes and stuck out tongue. She looked mildly embarassed until he suddenly mirrored her face and she joined in, erupting into a fit of giggles herself.

It was nearly five am when the threat of daybreak finally forced Angel to leave.

She walked him to the door and leaned against the frame while smiling up at him, “This was fun, Angel, thank you for this. Thank you for being there when no one else was.”

He could tell that she honestly meant it and he simply smiled back at her, “I could say the same exact thing to you.”

“Hey, Angel, how come you never dance? Fast dance, I mean…” she asked suddenly.

He chuckled softly. Her mind was still quite an enigma to him. He didn’t quite understand just where her random questions came from or how they were connected in her head but by now he’d grown used to her ability to surprise him. Besides, he didn’t mind answering them nearly as much anymore.

Thinking about it for a few moments, he shrugged carelessly, “I honestly don’t know. I just haven’t in a fairly long time and I guess that recently, I haven’t really felt like it.”

She nodded at him seriously, “Well you know, you should. Dancing is good for the soul.”

He shook his head good-naturedly and started walking down the porch. She waved goodbye and watched him go until he stopped suddenly on the steps and turned to her.

“Hey, Willow..”

“Yes?”

He looked slightly thoughtful before smiling at her again, “You know, you have a beautiful soul.”

And with that, he walked away, humming softly to himself before finally disappearing from her view.

 She sat listlessly on the couch in the darkened room, watching reruns of Forever Knight.
< How pathetic am I? > Moaning softly, she reached over for the romote and flipped
through a few more channels before flicking the TV off and closing her eyes.

The past three days had gone a lot better than she could ever have hoped, and yet, she was still inexplicably depressed. Giles had called her less than five minutes after Angel left that day. He rather awkwardly apologized for his behavior and informed her that Xander’s jaw, though it would be bruised and sore for several days, was not, in fact, broken. This piece of news was beyond joyful for Willow who’d been truly scared that she’d done actual damage to him.

Next came a visit from Buffy who spent several hours simply talking with Willow about Angel and how he felt and trying to sort out how she felt and the entire relationship mess. It was almost like old times.

After her conversation with Buffy, Willow had crawled upstairs and into her bed and had almost literally passed out, not to awaken until early evening. She missed saying goodbye to Amy who would be gone to Canada for two or three days and she regretted that but she sorely needed to catch up on sleep.

She’d spent the rest of that night alone, since Buffy went over to visit Angel and they’d “talked”. Judging from the brief phone conversation she’d had with him and the email she got from Buffy, she knew that they were patching up their relationship slowly, but surely.

Lastly, came the dreaded conversation with Xander, which hadn’t really taken place until a few hours ago. He was fairly quiet throughout and she wasn’t sure whether or not it was because of her or because his jaw still hurt but something told her that all had not quite been forgiven. She knew him well and from the tone of his voice she could tell that he was still deeply hurt and felt betrayed by what she’d done. < Well, he’ll just have to deal > she thought, inexplicably annoyed and frustrated with herself. < Why the heck am I in such a bad mood? Life couldn’t have been any better…Xander wasn’t injured, Giles forgave me, and Buffy and Angel were back together…everything is back to normal. Then why do I feel so disgusted? >

Sighing, she rose and walked upstairs only to flop down again on her bed.

“Oh gross,” she muttered under breath as she stared at her reflection in the mirror across the room. Lack of sleep had caused dark circles to form around her eyes. With her pale complexion, she looked as if she had two huge bruises on her face. The injury she’d sustained from the arrow in the library stood out badly as well. It was relatively small, but somewhat painful when she blinked. She still hadn’t figured out exactly how she was going to explain it to her parents.

Standing, she scrutinized her full body, “Ew. I’m all arms and legs an-and this teeny-weeny head. I look like a spider or something.” Her long red locks drooped lifelessly at her shoulders. “Look at me. Bad hair. Bad clothes. Bad…everything.” She flopped backwards onto her bed in frustration, “I am the ugliest human being alive.”

The phone rang, interrupting her thoughts. Growling and muttering under her breath, she reached for it < Maybe it’s Xander wanting to go for round two… >

“Hello?” she asked dully.

“Willow? It’s Cordelia.”

“Chase?”

“Umm..yes.”

The hacker’s green eyes widened slightly as she sat up and tugged the phone closer to her ear, “Cordelia? Is something wrong? Is Xander okay?” she demanded.

“Who? What? Xander? Yes, of course Xander’s okay. No, this has nothing to do with Xander.”

She relaxed a bit, “Oh…okay.”

“I was just calling to see…ahh…how you were doing.”

< Who are you and what have you done with Cordelia Chase? > “Wow, well, I’m doing just fine now. I talked to Xander and to Buffy and to Xander and they’re all okay, which was a big relief. I-it was very thoughtful of you to call.”

“Actually, I also wanted to ask you something.”

< A ha. Ulterior motive. I should have known. > “Really?”

“Yes.”

“Okay, go ahead.”

“I was wondering if you’d like to..umm…sleep over my house tomorrow night.”

Willow almost dropped the phone, “W-what?”

“I mean, as long as you’re not busy or anything,” the other girl rushed on sounding somewhat embarrassed, “I’m only asking because I know that your parents are out of town. It’s really gotta suck to be all by yourself in your house, especially considering everything that’s happened.”

< Could it be possible that Cordelia Chase actually has a conscience? Nah. >
“W-well, it was very nice of you to ask, Cordelia, but I think I’ll manage by myself.”

“Oh.”

Was it her imagination or did the other girl actually sound disappointed? “I also wouldn’t want to impose on you or anyth-,”

“You wouldn’t be imposing at all. Actually, I was kinda looking forward to um…I dunno, getting to know you a little better I guess….”

This time, Willow did drop the phone.

Scrambling to pick it up quickly she managed to entangle herself in the cord, “Get t-to know me?”

“Well, yeah. I mean, it looks like we have a lot in common.”

“Like?” the redhead challenged skeptically, trying to disengage the plastic wire from around her ankle.

There was silence as Cordelia thought about the question, “Xander.”

Willow paused. < Good point. > “That’s true.”

“So, you in?” she was growing tired of this game.

“I guess so.” The hacker agreed reluctantly.

“Coolness, I’ll see you then.”

“Great.”

“Laters,” Cordelia replied shortly before hanging up.

Willow simply stared at the phone in her head. < Just when I thought life couldn’t get any
weirder… >

He felt guilty.

There was a shocker.

Angel rolled over on his bed to stare at the ceiling. The shades were firmly pulled throughout the apartment making it almost pitch-black.

Buffy had come over to talk to him yesterday morning, just like Willow promised.
In fact, he had a sneaking suspicion that Willow had a lot to do with her visit. The slayer had even come back at night after her patrols. Yes, he was really starting to patch things up with Buffy and yet he still felt this gnawing guilt which couldn’t really be attributed to anything in particular. He realized, with an odd pang of emptiness, that he hadn’t seen Willow for the past few days. At least not since the morning she’d invited him in. He should really call her to see how she was doing.

But he couldn’t.

Every time he tried to pick up the phone to call her or went to his door to go visit her, or even thought about her, he felt instantly guilty. Almost as if he were being unfaithful somehow.

It didn’t make any sense at all.

Granted she was brilliant, honest, sincere, funny, strong and comfortable to be around. And yes, she was also generous, tender, sweet, innocent and kind. Of course even he had to admit that she was pretty…well, beautiful was probably more accurate, especially when she smiled.

Remembering her bright and sometimes mischievous smiles, Angel soon found himself grinning. The instant he became conscious of it, of course, he stopped.

And while it was true that she’d risked her own life to save his on at least three separate occasions, there wasn’t any chance in hell that he had actual feelings for her.
No, Willow was a pal, a confidant, a friend. That was it. He cherished her companionship more than anyone else’s. There was no way what he was feeling was anything beyond
simple friendship. With Buffy…well, it was pretty different. Extremely different, in fact. From the instant he’d set eyes on the stunning blonde slayer, he’d fallen head over heels for her. Love at first sight, that’s what that had been. The first times their eyes had met, the first time she’d ever touched him…it had set his whole body on fire.

With Willow, it wasn’t like that. It was completely the opposite. The situation was very simple. He had been in trouble and she’d stepped in. He was grateful that’s all.

Exactly.

Just friendship and companionship, nothing more.

Yes.

She was merely a confidant. Someone to turn to when things weren’t going too well.

Absolutely.

Hmmm….

This could be a problem.

Feeling a slight prickling sensation at the bottom of his spine, Angel turned his attention to the door seconds before someone started banging on it.

“Coming,” he called, pausing to pull a shirt on over his head. < Maybe it’s Willow! >

Pushing a few articles of clothing under his bed and absently tiding up the apartment, he made his way towards the door. Quickly, he whipped it open.

“Oh, Buffy.”

Abruptly suppressing the automatic flash of disappointment, he held the door open a bit wider, "Shouldn't you be on patrol or something?"

“Yeah, well, hi to you too,” she replied, obviously agitated and clutching her neck.

“Is everything ok-,?” he began as she roughly pushed past him and headed into his apartment.

“Okay? Well, no, not really,” she called over her shoulder before entering the bathroom and slamming the door shut behind her.

“Buffy?” he followed her curiously, “Buffy what’s going on?”

There were several seconds of silence as he stood by the locked door and listened to the water running from within.

Finally, the blonde slayer emerged with a white bandage around the left side of her delicate throat.

Angel’s eyes widened, “Are you alright??”

The slayer snickered slightly to herself before taking a seat on the sofa, “As ‘alright’ as you can be after being bitten by a vampire.”

  “So yes, in a word, Canada was awesome.”

“That’s so great.”

“Although I have to admit that there were a few close calls with my aunt and uncle. There was this one time, just after we crossed the border, that I swore one of them would zap the other into oblivion they were fighting so much. I was hoping that it would be my uncle and not my aunt since she was driving and all. It really amazes me that they’ve lived together for so long. Oh, and did you see those signs they put up all over town?”

“No, I haven’t really left the house these past few days.”

“Well that’s healthy.”

“You’re not helping.”

“Sorry. Anyway, there’s some ‘theme night’ deal at the Bronze.”

Willow groaned, “Okay, let’s hear it.”

“This Saturday it’s ‘swing’.”

“Oh, well that’s not too bad.”

“That’s what I said. In fact, I think we should go. It’d be cool. I could just conjure us
up some authentic looking clothes, not to mention a few guides on exactly how to swing dance…”

“That sounds great…hey, you know what? That reminds me, Amy, we actually have another commitment that night.”

“Really?”

“Yeah…” Willow crossed her fingers nervously, “We’ve been invited to…umm..a private party.”

“You’re kidding.”

“Nope.”

“You don’t sound to excited,” the blonde paused suspiciously, “Why do you not sound excited?”

“It’s not really a big deal...it’s just that…well…”

“Spit it out.”

“It’s at Cordelia’s house.” She instantly held the telephone receiver arms length away from her ear in preparation for the inevitable screaming. Much to her surprise, she didn’t happen.

Amy was too busy laughing hysterically.

Cautiously, Willow returned the phone to its original position, “A-Amy?”

The other girl erupted into a fit of giggles, “Cordelia’s house?? Cordelia-I’m-such-a-skank-I-can-barely-believe-it-myself Chase invited us to a party? That’s a good one Will,” she gasped shouting into the receiver, “Yeah, and I’ll bet she even invited us to sleep over.” With that, she started giggling all over again.

The hacker was somewhat less than amused, “Actually, she did.”

Almost as abruptly as the laughter had begun, it stopped.

“What?”

“Cordelia called. She invited me to sleep over, I said yes. She called back later and I mentioned that you might want to come too.”

“You’re kidding, right?”

“I dunno, I just thought it would be a nice way for us to all get together and to get to know one another.”

“Are you on crack?”

“No, I’m serious, Am-,”

“WILLOW. I-I can’t believe you. Are you insane? Have you forgotten all of the hell that girl put us through? I might be the witch in name, but Cordelia Chase is more of one in spirit than I’ll ever be.”

“Amy…”

“How about that time in third grade when she cheated off of you during a spelling test and then framed you for it? Or in seventh grade when she tripped you down that flight of stairs and you broke your arm? Are you totally forgetting the ‘We Hate Cordelia Club’ of which you were the founder AND president? Jesse was the vice president, I was the secretary and Xander was the treasurer. Granted, we disbanded when we found out that Xander had been embezzling funds to buy ice cream, but let me tell you, that organization had promise!”

“AMY!”

“What about the bitchy ‘Hey Willow, I see you’ve found the softer side of Sears’ comments she made all through ninth and tenth grade? How can you forgive her so easily? H-How can you just agree to go into her house? It’s like official enemy territory for pete’s sakes.”

“Amy, now you’re just overreacting. Look, this was NOT a simple decision. You weren’t in the library that night when Angel showed up and Giles went nuts and there was all that fighting. She actually stood up for me. I mean, she’s been trying to be nicer lately and, well, I just think we should give her the benefit of the doubt.”

“Good grief.”

“I’m serious.”

There was a brief period of silence as both girls were lost in thought.

“Amy?” Willow finally ventured cautiously.

“Fine.”

“What?”

“Fine, I’ll go.”

“Thank you,” she beamed.

“You know that I’m only doing this for you, right?”

“Yes, I do, and I appreciate it immensely.”

“Only because you’re my friend.”

“And you’re mine.”

“I hope you realize that am giving up a perfectly good Saturday night to enter the BOWELS OF HELL all because you’re my friend.”

“Amy?”

“Yeah?”

“You can stop now.”

Willow stifled a giggle and Amy just frowned.

“All I’m saying is that if she so much as mentions the word “makeover” I’m turning her into a rat.”

"It's a deal."

 “And you have absolutely no idea who attacked you?”

“None whatsoever. Just some anonymous chic vamp, who, might I add, did some serious damage,” the slayer paused to point at the bandage on her neck, “My mom is not gonna buy ANY story I come up with to explain this one. Oh, there’s one thing that I do remember, the male vampire she was with mentioned something about you ‘betraying the clan’.”

Angel frowned.

“That means something to you?”

“It might,” He took a deep breath, “Over the past 3 weeks, our group, or ‘clan’ as we refer to ourselves, were in preparation of a rather large takeover. This plan was halted and rescheduled once I regained my soul, at least according to what I’ve been told by certain sources, however, I’m still privy to some very delicate information on terms of where certain people and things are located. Much of these things can’t be moved very quickly or easily.”

Buffy nodded slowly, “So you kinda know where their secret base is?”

“In a way.”

“Then let’s go nuke em. How come you didn’t mention all this before?”

“No, Buffy, we can’t do anything to them right now. I think that what they did to you was just a warning. They are, however, very capable of doing much much more. Let’s just say that Spike wasn’t very pleased when he found out I’d switched sides.”

“I can handle them.”

“But can Willow? O-or Xander for that matter? What about Giles? Cordelia? Buffy, they aren’t at all above attacking your friends to get to you. They know where you live, what you do, and what your weaknesses are. They know who you’re friends are, when they’re alone and when they’re unprotected. It’s a skill they learned from me, I’m afraid,” he sat down next to her and put his head in his hands.

“Angel, don’t blame yourself for this,” the slayer sighed softly and inched closer to him,
“You weren’t in control then. You’ve risked your own life so many times just to save ours. You would never endanger anyone, I know that and so does everyone else. Trust me, we’ll figure something out.”

He nodded slowly and turned his head to give her a grateful smile.

Big mistake.

She smiled back and leaned closer, a mildly seductive gleam in her eyes, “You know Angel,” she said softly, “I’ve been thinking a lot about us, in general.”

He felt his heartbeat pick up almost automatically, the way it always did whenever she was close, “And?”

“And I think that we should maybe talk about things more,” she leaned even closer and he could feel her breath on his cheek, “consider our options.”

He gently touched the side of her face, brushing her blond locks away from her eyes, “Options?”

She smiled again and brushed her lips against his, “I think it should be fine as long as we take things slowly.”

The kiss that followed, was, well, amazing. Angel felt his body respond in the same way it always did when he was with Buffy.

And yet, something was very wrong.

Certainly, his heart was beating triple time and his skin was heating up rapidly wherever she came in contact, nevertheless, there was something deep in his mind and in his soul which was literally screaming in protest.

Reluctantly, he broke away from her and stood up, “You’re right, I think we should take this slowly.”

She looked a bit surprised, “Angel, is something wrong?”

“No, not at all,” unable to return her gaze he turned around and picked up his jacket.

“W-where are you going?”

“I’m going to take a walk. Maybe do some checking up on who attacked you and what’s going on.”

“Now?” she asked, shocked.

“Well, yes. It’d be a good idea if you stayed here until I got back.”

“Yeah. Great.”

He couldn’t miss the intense sound of disappointment in her voice and it broke his heart.
Turning slightly, he glanced over at her as he opened the door, “I’ll be back soon,” he said, throwing her a lopsided grin.

She nodded, “Be careful.”

“I will.”

“Angel, I lo-,”

He closed the door behind him.

“-ve you,” Buffy finished softly.

There was no response.

She had long since changed out of her clothes and was now sitting, barefoot, in a thin white nightgown. Thoughtfully, she stared at the rows of black and white keys before hitting one. The note ran out so clear and loudly that it brought tears to her eyes.

Life was, as Willow had come to realize, very strange.

She sighed softly and stared at the shiny black surface of the piano. It had been almost two hours since she’d hung up the phone after talking to Amy and the house was dead silent.

Not that this was really anything new. She was used to being by herself. For instance, this entire past week her parents had been out of town.

But in that time, Willow had never really felt lonely. Not like she did now.

Thinking about things was a rather nasty habit she’d picked up during her childhood. Unfortunately, her seemingly endless loneliness gave her a lot of time to do just that. And while she’d been busy thinking, a few somewhat frightening thoughts had entered her head. Thoughts which refused to go away and which couldn’t be dismissed. Thoughts about Angel.

In frustration, the redhead slammed her fist into the keys, producing an oddly comforting discordant sound.

She missed him.

Using both of her hands this time, she pounded out a sad and painful chord.

It was more than that, though. Even she wasn’t so naïve and stupid.

In pure irritation and a desperate need to escape her own mind, she turned her full attention to the piano.

All her life, things like this seemed to happen to her. Nothing could ever be simple.

Starting off shakily, she started to play. The song she chose was sad and wistful but had an undercurrent of strength.

It made her almost sick to admit it, but it was true. In all the time she’d known him, she never thought anything like this could happen. She’d never been in a position for anything like this to happen. Mentally, she’d kicked herself for being so easy, for being so vulnerable. Past experience alone should have made her more cautious.

Her playing rose to an almost frenzied pitch as she reached the chorus of the song. She actually began sweating from the exertion as the tears sprang to her eyes, blinding her ability to see the keys.

Maybe she could pull back, pull away from the situation. Maybe she could just close herself off and it would go away.

Crying openly now, she forced herself to close her eyes and to play the song completely by feel. In her heart, she remembered how and when her fingers were supposed to strike the keys. The music was so loud that it could be heard clearly across the street through the open window.

She knew though, that she couldn’t. She wasn’t Buffy or Cordelia. She was Willow. Poor, stupid, pathetic little Willow Rosenberg. And once she grew emotionally involved or attached to someone, she could never get away. Besides, it was too late.

She had already fallen in love with him.
 

***************

He stood under the street lamp, staring at her through the open window. He was almost mesmerized by her playing. It took him a few moments to figure out the song, but eventually he placed it.
“I Guess That’s Why They Call It The Blues” by Elton John, if he was correct.

He leaned against the lamppost, a concerned look flashing through his dark eyes. < Is she unhappy? Did something happen? I should have visited or called her sooner. > He silently berated himself over and over again.

Somehow, his ‘walk’ had taken him past the Rosenberg residence, as it had several times in the past. Feeling only somewhat guilty that he wasn’t currently researching who had attacked Buffy and why, Angel gradually began to relax.

< Maybe I’m reading too much into this. >

The rest of the street was dark. Most lights were off since the neighbors were either asleep or had left town for vacation. He wondered absently why Willow had opted to stay during these two weeks as opposed to going to Boston with her parents. Maybe she had somethng more imporant to take care of in town. Schoolwork or that sort of thing.

Shrugging, he pushed off of the post and prepared to go on his way. He didn’t want to disturb her, after all.

Once he was out of the glare of the overhead light, however, he got a better look at her. < She’s playing with her eyes closed. > Smiling internally, he hummed along with her playing while starting to cross the street. < Talented girl. > That’s when he saw something else.
< Wait-is she crying? > The smile vanished altogether and his entire face darkened.
< What’s going on? > Standing stock still now, he stared across at her openly. The entire scene had shifted in a matter of seconds. She was obviously in serious distress over something, but what? He growled under his breath, < If that idiot Xander said or did something… > Yet again, Angel was reminded of the moronic, hormonally challenged teenager who couldn’t see what was right under his nose even if it hit him in the head. < It’s his own loss that he can’t see what a treasure she his, but I wish that she wasn’t so affected by his blindness. > Ironically, it was then that she opened her eyes. The song was ending and he hadn’t even noticed. In a sudden fit of panic, Angel realized that he was essentially out in the wide open, smack in the middle of the street, staring like a fool through the window of a seventeen-year-old.  < She’ll probably think I’m stalking her or something… >

All fears vanished, however, when her green eyes turned their gaze, almost casually, out the window. She sent him a small smile as she hit the final note of the song. Slowly, she stood, pushed the bench away from the piano, and left the room.

Angel watched her leave, his heartbeat quickening inexplicably.

Fully expecting the vampire to have left by the time she got there, Willow opened her front door anyway. Much to her surprise, she found him standing on the porch.

She grinned at him shyly and he grinned back. < She looks like a fairy dressed all in white...or an angel. > There was almost an warmth, an aura of some sort that follwed the hacker wherever she went. It had a tendency to put Angel at ease and to make him want to share things with her. It made him want her to be comfortable.

They stared at eachother for a few seconds before she started fidgeting self-consciously. Suddenly, she remembered what she was wearing and how she must look. In an attempt to explain her unkempt appearance, she took a deep breath and opened her mouth, only to find that he’d done the exactly same thing.

Blushing slightly she shook her head and silently urged him to speak first.

< I’ve never seen such expressive eyes > he thought. “I…ahh…I used to come here a lot,"he began cautiously, "Even before I lost my soul. I’d just come walking..kind of late at night. I’d stop by that lamp post across the street.”

She nodded.

“Ever since last year. After I came into your room for the first time when I needed your help. You remember, when I wanted to ask you about Buffy’s ex-boyfriend. I mean, then I knew where you lived. I’d come by after that just to listen to you play. You’re very talented.”

She shook her head and stared at the floor, “How are things with you and Buffy?” she whispered softly.

Somewhat surprised by the change of subject, Angel frowned, “We’re okay, she came by tonight. Actually, she’s still at my apartment.”

“Really?” Willow was careful to keep every hint of emotion out of her voice.

“Yes. We’ve been talking a lot lately.” < Why won’t she look at me? > “Willow, is something wrong?”

Almost instantly, she glanced up at him, “N-no, I’m fine.” It was strange for someone to be so perceptive to her feelings and thoughts. Normally, it was the other way around. She was the one listening to everyone else’s problems. She’d have to learn to be more careful around him. “I’ve just been thinking a lot lately.”

“About?” he prodded gently.

She sighed, “Nothing important.”

“Willow, anything you think about is important.”

His conviction surprised her a bit and even embarrassed her to a certain extent. She dropped her gaze yet again.

Feeling a bit more willing to venture out first in building up a sense of trust between them, he decided to offer up a confession of his own, “Buffy actually kissed me tonight.”

There were additional moments of silence and the hacker almost seemed to have trouble breathing. Angel furrowed his brows and waited for her to respond.

“Oooh, that’s…that’s just….great,” she pretty much choked out.

< She still refuses to look at me. > Angel sighed.

Leaning against the edge of the doorway, near her head, he let out a soft laugh, “Not really.”

“What do you mean?”

“It’s hard to explain…I-I just didn’t react very well to it.” He gently touched the side of her face and bent closer to get a better look at it.

She glanced up at him again, their noses just inches apart, “Why?”

“Something was wrong. I can’t verbalize it too well. Something just didn’t…fit anymore. I think I wasn’t really comfortable. It was a weird situation to be in. I’ve always felt so open with Buffy in the past. I guess there are just some things that take longer to fix than others. It’s a good thing I have you to talk to.”

Something in her green eyes lit up just a bit and he smiled, it felt nice to make her happy. He was glad she was beginning to trust him and that she could tell he trusted her. “ It’s a shame, though. That was one hell of a kiss,” he joked.

The light died almost instantly and she pulled away from him. His own smile faded.
< What did I say? >

“Th-that’s…nice. Listen, Angel, I hate to do this to you, but it’s pretty late. I should be going to bed. I have some research to do tomorrow for Giles and all.”

“Oh,” he straightened up as well, “Alright, no problem.”

“Goodnight,” She quickly backed into the house and started to close the door.

“Wait-Willow, would you like to do something with me tomorrow, though?”

She paused. The door was almost completely shut and all he could see were her eyes. Those two, beautiful, dark green eyes. They were full of tears.

“I..umm..I don’t think that’s a good idea Angel. I have a lot to do tomorrow. Maybe some other night.”

He nodded, openly disappointed. She was shutting him out, both physically as well as emotionally. Something was happening and she was obviously holding it back from him. There was so much pain and loneliness in those green eyes.

The door softly clicked shut and he sighed.

The same kind of loneliness reflected in his soul.

 Amy couldn’t believe it.

She was already a full forty minutes into the “slumber party” and she honestly hadn’t had the urge to kill Cordelia.

Even now, as the self-involved brunette happily spread a yogurt and oatmeal based relaxation mask on her face, she was actually enjoying it.

“So, yeah. If you keep this on for about 20 minutes, it’ll look great once we wash it off.
It’ll get rid of all of those stress wrinkles you’ve been having and the blotchiness in
your complexion. Cause, you know, that makes you look really kinda gross.”

Well, no one was perfect.

“Cordy, have you seen Willow?”

The dark haired cheerleader finished placing cucumber slices on the other girl’s eyes and paused to look around, “Nope.  I think she’s in the other room watching TV or something. Some old show called Kindred: The Embrace, I think. The lead guy is really hot, that’s why I remember,” she lowered her voice, “We’ve really got to do something about her..”

Amy frowned, “Who, Willow?”

“She is getting into this really sulky vibe. Not that I blame her, but still. It’s not healthy..have you seen her hair? Come to think of it, we should fix it before we go to the Bronze.”

“Wait, what are you talking about?”

“Willow’s been hanging around, pouting, and not eating or sleeping. Have you seen
how thin and pale she is? What kind of friend are you?”

“Hang on, Cordelia, what are you saying?

“Well, I mean, hel-lo…it’s beyond obvious that she totally wants him.”

Amy’s blood literally ran cold, “Him?” she asked weakly.

“Well duh. Angel!,” she hissed.

Amy looked vaguely ill.

 “It’s sooo there. I mean, when she talks about him and her face lights up like a little puppy-dog? It’s borderline pathetic. I mean, they’d make a cute couple and all, but it’s like neither of them are going to make a move. It’s impossible.”

< What?! >Sitting up, the witch took the cucumbers off of her eyes in one quick gesture, “Wait, are you saying that you think Angel actually likes Willow?”

“Shhh!!” Cordelia sank down next to Amy’s chair with a conspiratory smile, “You weren’t in the library that night, were you?”

“No, I wasn’t.”

“You should have SEEN the look on his face when she stood in front of him, like RIGHT in front of the crossbow!” She was in full-fledged gossip mode.

“It was…intense?”

“Like, beyond. I was so surprised, I couldn’t believe it. I mean, I was sorta distracted by the fact that Xander was acting like an ass and all, but there was NO WAY you could miss the look on Angel’s face.”

“Cordelia, I wasn’t there. You need to be more explicit.”

 “He wants her!”

“You mean it?” Amy could barely contain her excitement, “Oh wow. W-we need to tell her.”

“Are you dense? We can’t tell her.”

“Why?”

“Well A. she’d never believe us and 2. she’d get all nervous around him. No, we can’t tell her.”

“Cordelia, no offense, but that’s about the dumbest thing I’ve heard in a long time. If we clue her in, she’ll know and she’ll be happier around him. Right now I think she’s sending mixed signals in his direction without realizing it. If we tell her, it’ll probably work to get them together.”

“Look, I hate to bring this up, but do you have a boyfriend?”

“Well, no.”

“Have you ever had a boyfriend?”

“What’s your point?”

“My point is that I have a lot more experince in this than you do.”

Amy paused, “Point taken.”

“Great, then we’re agreed.”

“Agreed to what? What are we supposed to do??”

The conspriatory smile returned and Cordelia’s dark eyes sparkled, “Not so fast. First, we need a plan…”

**

Willow sat staring blankly at the flickering images on the television.

< I can’t believe I did that to Angel yesterday night. > For the hundredth time
that day, she cringed as she recalled the hurt look in his eyes when she’d shut the door in his face. < That was NOT something that a good friend does. >

Moaning, she slowly leaned sideways and fell onto the couch. < Not to mention the fact that tomorrow is his birthday. >

Although the vampire hadn’t told her, she’d managed to “sneak a peek” at some of Giles’ diaries while she was helping to research that morning. After picking up this little fact,  she’d taken some time to secretly sift through some of Amy’s spell books to see if she could conjure up a good gift.

It had taken almost an hour, but Willow knew what she wanted to give him. Granted the spell was a bit complex, but she had faith in her growing capabilites when it came to the black arts.

< Heck, I restored his soul, how bad can it be? >

The excursion to the library itself had been more than just informative. It had also served to help patch up her relationship with the Giles. Although somewhat awkward at first, the visit proved to be very successful. Despite herself, Willow grinned as she recalled how the librarian had gone scurrying around the room, cleaning off her workspace, dusting the computer keyboard, and bringing her cushions to sit on throughout the day. He’d even brought her tea and crumpets before lunch, all the while asking if she wanted anything else. Giles was literally in hyperdrive when it came to making amends.

She appreciated every second of it though. Sometimes it was hard to
remember that people actually cared about her. It was nice to receive a reminder
every now and then.

“Hey! Ready to go?”

Glancing up at the door, she saw Amy standing in font of her, grinning a little too broadly.

Cordelia’s head popped up over her shoulder. She was sporting a matching facial expression.

Glancing warily from one girl to the other, she sighed softly.

< Terrific, now what? >

It was almost 10 and Angel felt like a nervous teenager. He hovered silently in
the darkest corner of the Bronze, his eyes skillfully skimming the faces before him.

< Where the heck is she? >

He felt terrible about ignoring her these past few days and felt even worse after she’d closed the door on him the night before. < I’m going to make it up to her if it’s the last thing I do. >

Tapping his foot absently against the floor, he thrust his hands into his pockets and hummed along to the music.

< As long as she shows up first. >

As if on cue, Cordelia suddenly appeared at the far end of the room. The dark haired cheerleader was clad in a deep red dress which, although decidedly vintage in style, clung around her hips in a very suggestive manner. It was also cut very high. On the left, she was flanked by Amy whose clothing was extremely similar. In fact, the only difference between them was that Cordelia’s was maroon and Amy’s was a dark blue which matched her eyes.

< But where’s Willow? >

After a few tense moments, he got his answer.

Following several feet behind, he spotted the red-head as she cautiously made her way through the crowd.

Keeping his mouth from dropping open on sight became a conscious effort the instant he took in her slender frame.

“Oh….wow,” he breathed softly.

**

Even she had to admit that the outfit was pretty amazing. Willow smiled nervously and shifted her weight to her other foot. Her dark red hair was parted down the middle, rolled back and pinned on either side of her head. It fell in gentle waves down her back and shoulders. The dress she wore was white with dark green flowers which matched her eyes. Although somewhat short for her own tastes, it still came past mid-thigh. The heels on her feet were a bit shorter than the ones Cordelia and Amy had on, but almost the same style.

Squinting through the smokey darkness she tried to see through the bodies which were gyrating to the music. Altogether, the scene was incredible. Tons of people had turned out to dance to the live band. Many of them were good. Very good. She’d had no idea that so many residents of Sunnydale were such accomplished swing dancers.

Her mouth fell open as an especially impressive couple flew by. Thus far, she’d looked on in awe as they jumped, spun, twirled and kicked. This time, the male suddenly flipped his partner over his arm and caught her just before she hit the ground. The woman simply laughed and fell back in step with ease. Willow was rapidly starting to realize that the few basic steps she’d picked up from Cordy earlier in the evening were nothing in comparison.

To her left, Amy and Cordelia were sitting at a corner table, scanning the crowd as well.
Xander sat with them, although a little ways off. He gazed darkly at the table in front of him while nursing a coke.

Grabbing the other girl’s arm, Amy let out a barely contained squeal, “There he is! There he is!!”

Cordelia snapped around to look, “Oh my ever lovin God..check him out.”

“Meeee-ow,” Amy nodded her head in agreement, “And she looks just like Heather Graham from Swingers in that dress.”

“Uh huh. Dead ringer.”

Silently, they high fived eachother while bouncing up and down.

Xander just rolled his eyes.

Totally oblivious to the ongoing conversation going on just out of her earshot, Willow swayed slightly to the music. < Ooh, Is that him near the bar? > Standing on her toes, she leaned forward to get a better view. An especially upbeat song had just started playing and the dancing was escalating to an almost frenzied pace.

That’s when she felt an hand on her shoulder, “Can I have this dance?”

Spinning around, she had to suppress the urge to gasp out loud.

There, standing right in front of her, fully decked out in a dark-grey pinstriped suit with a white flower in the lapel, was Angel. His already stunning good looks were only enhanced by the sharp clothing. There was no doubt in her mind that the outfit was completely authentic.

“May I?” he reiterated the question, a slightly roguish grin on his face, “Have this dance?” he extended a hand to her.

Entirely flustered, Willow blushed just about every existing shade of red, “Oh-of course.”

Not needing any further invitation than that, his gentlemanly demeanor vanished instantly, only to be replaced by a decidedly devilish gleam in his dark eyes. Grabbing her arm, he snapped her body against his and spun them both out into the middle of the dance floor.

Within a matter of a few seconds, Willow found herself in the very thick of things. Positive that she must have run over at least 12 different people as he unceremoniously yanked her into the mass of bodies, she tripped along behind him, apologizing all the way. Her apologizies died in her throat the instant her turned back. The almost predatory look on his face scared the living daylights out of her. < Has he changed back? Oh my gosh… >

As if sensing her fear, Angel’s features softened slightly and he winked at her flirtatiously, “Ready?”

Without waiting for her to reply, he grasped both of her hands and swung them out wards, then inwards, moving to the rhythm of the music. Quickly, she picked up the beat and followed his lead. The first few seconds remained sedate enough until the band suddenly went into an almost insanely fast riff and she felt her feet losing contact with the floor. Shrieking in surprise, she was hauled over his shoulder, and thrown backwards, flipping upside down for a brief instant before landing safely behind him, her back to his. Before she could even turn back around, she felt herself being lifted yet again and spun into the air before being caught easily in his well-muscled arms.

He held her up to his chest so they were almost eye level and chuckled good-naturedly at the shaken expression on her face.

“Put…me…down…” she ground out through clenched teeth.

“Sure, if you say so,” he shrugged casually and started to lower her to the floor. Just as her toes brushed the ground, though, he whipped her outwards, careening right into the crowd. A split second before she fell over, he snagged her hand and snapped her to a halt before spinning her back into him.

Now nestled comfortably and safetly in his arms, Willow felt a dark, burning rage build slowly inside her < How DARE he? How dare he just throw me around like I was some sort of rag doll or something, I swear I’m going to… >

Her thoughts were inturrupted by a strange sound.

Angel burst out laughing.

Looking up, horrifically annoyed, the made eye contact.

 “I’m sorry, but the look on your face,” he shook his head helplessly, “….it’s just….priceless.”

Normally, this sort of reaction would have made the red-haired hacker even angrier but the rarity of the event itself made her smile. Granted, she’d amused in the past, she’d occasionally even made him chuckle but this was the first time she’d ever heard him laugh out loud. < I’ve made Angel happy. Honest to goodness happy. >

Before she could get too self-congratulatory though, she felt him shifting his weight.

< Uh oh. >

As he swung her out again, she caught her breath. Luckily, he just grinned kindly and held her to the simple box step.

< Oh thank goodness. > The song was finally winding down and she felt herself relax as her eyes wandered up to his. < Damn, he’s a good dancer. Why would anyone this good not want to flaunt it? Why was he flaunting it now? What the heck is going on? > “Angel, what’s gotten into you?” she yelled above the din of the crowd.

Not responding, he spun her out gently, causing her skirt to float higher up her thighs.

< Wow. Matching green underwear, huh? > Angel raised an appreciative eyebrow.

Catching his gaze, she narrowed her eyes indignantly as he pulled her back into the box step. He simply chuckled, “Well, a wise woman once said, that dancing was good for the soul,” he began.

She started giggling as she recalled their conversation, “Oh really?” she shouted back.

He nodded vigorously, “And you know what?” he asked.

“What?” she shouted back.

Yanking her to the side and gripping her waist wordlessly, he supported her with one hand while flipping her over his extended arm. Grabbing her again once she hit the ground, he spun her around into an embrace and dipped her low all in once fluid motion.

Willow felt her world grind to a complete stop the instant the music ended.

His nose hovered right above her own and he smiled seductively.

“I think that she was right.”

The next song happened to be somewhat slower. Really slow, actually.
Almost automatically, she felt a slight shiver run through her body as she gazed up into his dark eyes.

 “Angel, you can let me up now,” she giggled, still stuck in their partial
embrace and leaning backwards at an odd angle.

“Oops, sorry,” he grinned back at her and gently righted them both.

Shooting him her classic awkward Willow-smile, she tucked her hair behind her ear and eased backwards to head over to her table. Much to her surprise, he snagged ahold
of her hand and pulled her back.

“Where are you going?” he asked, honestly confused.

“Oh…I didn’t think that….well, back to my table…be-because….,” she stammered incoherently as he slid his arm around her waist comfortable and took ahold of
her hand.

His eyes sparkled slightly and she placed her other hand on his shoulder. It was weird to slow-dance with someone. A lot weirder than fast-dancing. Things weren’t as frantic and
fly-away. They were a lot more sedate. Which gave one more time to…think.
Besides, her palms were getting sweaty.

"Where'd your cut go?" he asked, gently brushing his fingertips just under her eye where
the injury from the arrow would have been.

"Oh, it's..gone. Amy healed it for me."

Angel  raised his eyebrows, "Getting stronger then, isn't she?"

Willow simply nodded nervously in response.

“I’ve actually been meaning to talk to you,” he hissed softly into her ear as they began to sway comfortably together to the music.

“About?”

“Well, about my behavior these past few weeks.”

“YOUR behavior?” she asked, a hint of incredulity entering her voice.

“I’m sorry for…shutting you out. It was pretty wrong of me. I didn’t mean to, well, make you feel like I’d abandoned you as a friend. If I did, I’m sorry.”

She shook her head in disbelief, “Angel, you have nothing to apologize about, believe me. I mean, I was the one who basically slammed the door in your face.” She glanced up at him, “I felt so guilty about that. I really shouldn’t have..acted the way I did. I’m sorry for doing that to you. Good friends don’t do that to eachother and if anyone should be guilty of abondoning someone, well, it’s me.”

His eyes met hers and there was a moment of silence before he laughed softly, “We’re both so good at self-flagellation, aren’t we?”

Nodding, Willow smiled thoughtfully, “Yeah. We do have a tendency to beat ourselves up over a lot of things.”

Spinning around gently, they moved farther back on the dance floor. < She's wearing lilac perfume. > he realized. It smelled nice.

“How’s Buffy?”

A shadow crossed over his features at the change of subject, “She’s…well.”

“What’s going on with the two of you?”

“I don’t know.”

“Angel..,” she began, a warning tone in her voice. He wasn’t going to get away from the question that easily.

“Alright, alright,” if he was going to share this with anyone,  as is it was probably going to be Willow, “Truthfully, I’m not sure what she’s thinking anymore. Sometimes she acts as if she wants to reconcile, and other times she acts as though she doesn’t. Like after I returned to my apartment last night, she was really..upset.”

“What happened?” the hacker prodded gently.

“Well, first she was really quiet…and then there was a whole lot of yelling and then
it got a little violent.”

“Violent?”

“She, um, broke one of my paperweights. Then she accused me of not caring about her anymore, and I didn’t know what to say and then she just walked out. I ran after her
and brought her back to my apartment and we talked for the rest of the night. We both cooled down and apologized to eachother but…”

“But?”

“But then she got that cold look in her eyes again. It’s like one instant she wants to forgive and she wants to get back together and the next there’s this undefineable guilt that she carries around.”

“Because of Jenny,” Willow said softly.

Angel nodded his head, “ I..ahh..I think that has a lot to do with it,” his voice caught for a second.

It was so subtle that most people wouldn’t have picked up on it, but she heard it almost instantly. Squeezing his arm in a show of moral support she gave him a comforting smile.

“I mean, being the slayer is hard enough as is without having this as added baggage.”

“Do you think she still loves you?”

“I-I used to. I think a part of her still does and that part forces her to try to work things out. But I don’t know if we can ever get past everything that’s happened.
I mean, I don’t want to feel that she’s forcing herself to reconcile just for me.”

“I remember the look on her face when Ms. Calendar died,” Willow began quietly, “She just sat there on the floor without saying so much as one word. I cried over it  for a few days afterwards, but I never once remember Buffy shedding so much as a tear. I mean, she couldn’t. She was the slayer. It was her responsibility to save everyone else. She needed to be strong for the rest of the world.” It was a painful subject, but one which needed to be discussed, “I think that in the process, she never really dealt with it. She just kinda pushed it to the back of her head. I know she felt responsible for it though. I mean, loves all of us, but Giles holds a special place in her life. He was so…hurt when Ms. Calendar died. Buffy never quite got over that. She hated herself for not having the power to destroy the demon when she had the chance.”

Angel looked away, “She’ll never have any idea how sorry I am about that.”

“I tried to explain to her that she wasn’t responsible..that NO ONE was responsible
for what happened,” forcefully, Willow put her hand on his face and drew his eyes to her own, “I will never forgive the demon for what it did. I hate it for killing Ms. Calendar, and I hate it for drawing Xander and I apart. I hate it for destroying a part of Giles and I hate it for hurting me.”

He stared at her in shock. Gently, he started to pull out of their embrace but she grabbed his arm.

“And most of all, I hate the demon for what it did to you. For how it controlled your body, manipulated your mind and hurt you both physically and emotionally.”

“Willow, I am the demon, it’s a part of me that can’t be sep-,”

“No you’re not,” she replied, “You can say it all you want but you’re not. I know that much.”

He just sighed, “Buffy doesn’t seem to think so.”

“Do you still love her?”

The question startled him. “W-what?”

“Do you still love Buffy?”

“I-I…yes. Of course I do.”

Willow smiled almost sadly. It was now or never. In her heart, she knew she had to make a decision…

“You..,” she lowered her gaze < I can’t. >, “you need to make sure she knows,” she glanced back up, “If you love her…you need to tell her.”

There was a pause and he concentrated on her face almost as if trying to gauge her emotions.

She held his gaze unwaveringly.

Bending closer, he gently touched the side of her face, “Willow, I-,”

“Mind if I cut in?”

Craning her neck, Willow saw the very subject of their conversation standing behind her.

“Buffy!” forcing a cheerful smile, she pulled away from Angel, “Sure, of course you can.”

“Thanks,” the slayer grinned back.

Willow stepped aside, giving room for the other girl to take her place. Buffy was wearing one of her classic outfits. A black miniskirt with a pale lavendar halter top. Her blond hair was curled for the evening and fell around her face in careless wisps. Her standard black boots completed the outfit, making her look edgey and somewhat dangerous. Which she was.

< Pure Buffy > Willow thought as she watched the slayer melt easily into Angel’s arms.
The hacker looked almost frumpy in comparison. Throwing them both a half-hearted wave, she glued her gaze to the floor and made her way to the exit.

The table Amy and Cordelia had been sitting at was now empty. Cordy was dancing with Xander and Amy was sitting near the bar, carrying on a very animated discussion with two boys Willow recognized as members of the crew team.

Suddenly she felt very very tired. Drained.

Suddenly unable to deal with anyone anymore, she shrugged and grabbed her purse from the deserted booth. Turning, she brushed a few tears out of her eyes and left the Bronze alone.
 

******************

Noting the distracted look on her partner’s face, Buffy turned her head and followed his gaze, “Angel, what’s wrong? What’s going on?”

Looking past her, he watched the red-head gather her things, “This…this is not going to be easy to explain.”

“What do you mean?”

“I..I don’t know… how to,” he turned back to give her his full attention, “Buffy, we need to talk.”

“About?”

He sighed, “Everything.”

The slayer finished watching Willow leave before staring back up at him seriously, “I think you’re right.”

They gazed at eachother in silence before they realized that the song was no longer playing.

“Look at that. The music’s ended,” her face broke into a wistful smile.

“Yes,” he replied softly, “yes it has.”

******************

“Amy, where’s Willow?”

“Dancing with Angel, where else?”

“Uhh..unless she dyed her hair blonde and took up wearing high-heeled boots then I’d have to vote no on that one.”

The other girl glanced up. Sure enough, Willow was gone and Buffy had taken her place,
“W-what?” she shook her head in confusion, “but she was just here a second ago.”

“Well she’s not here now.”

“Bathroom?”

“Maybe.”

“We should check.”

Next