Instead of going home, she decided to make a pit stop at the library. Even through her exhaustion, Willow knew that if she was going to give him his present before his birthday, she’d probably have to do it now.

Although the walk from the Bronze to the school was almost 15 minutes, it’d been relatively uneventful.

Fumbling in her purse for the keys Giles had given her which led into the back entrance of the library, Willow finally found them and unlocked the door. She’d squirrleled away all of the things she’d need for the spell and hid them in the less-used stacks at the back of the large room. It was odd to be there alone at night.

Flicking on a few lights, she relaxed a bit.

The circumstances were still a little too close to those which took place almost a month ago when she’d originally restored Angel’s soul. Looking around the empty room and glancing out the door at the darkened hallway still gave her chills, but she knew she had to concentrate on the task at hand.

If this worked, it would be well worth it.

****************

“So what exactly are you saying?”

“Answer the question, Buffy.”

“No, I want to understand what you mean!”

“Buffy, I asked you if you still loved me. I think I deserve an answer.”

They were standing in the alleyway just outside the Bronze and she was NOT happy.

“How can you ask me a question like that? D-don’t you already know the answer?”

“I thought I did,” he replied quietly.

In frustration she slammed her palm against the side of the buliding, “What the hell is that supposed to mean? Are you implying that I’ve been….,: her voice trailed off, “Look, if ANYONE has been ignoring our relationship, it’s you. You stalk off late at night, you don’t like to talk to me, unless of course we’re arguing and every time I try to touch you, you pull away.”

This wasn’t how it was supposed to be. He’d had every intention of taking her back to his apartment where they could have a quiet discussion about things, but somehow it had turned into a yelling match, “Buffy, please, calm down. We need to talk ab-,”

“We ARE talking about this, goddammit. At least I am. What’s wrong with you? Why won’t you let me in?”

“I-I try…it’s just that..sometimes it gets so hard…”

She let out a short, angry, laugh, “Don’t talk to me about hard. You weren’t the one who watched her friends get hunted, her teacher get killed and her Watcher almost get burned to de-,” stopping abruptly, she stared at him.

The look of pain in his eyes was almost unbearable.

Almost instantly, her tone became apologetic, “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to say that. I-I know that wasn’t your fault Angel.”

He just shook is head, “This is exactly what I’m talking about.”

She dropped her gaze, “No it’s not. This isn’t about that.”

“What are you talking about?”

“You now what I’m talking about.”

He grew angry again, “No, Buffy I don’t.”

“You’ve fallen for her, haven’t you?”

“What do y-,”

“Angel, please,” she begged him softly, “don’t do this. Just tell me the truth, No more games, no more accusations and no more fighting,” she cupped his face in her hands, “Do you love her?”

Every fiber in his being screamed to say no. It nearly killed him to see her so confused and so hurt. For all her strength she was still so fragile. The question was raw and brutal and he knew she wanted honesty but he’d give anything never to hurt her again. Unfortunately, they knew eachother too well. The look in his eyes betrayed his thoughts.

She broke down crying.

Holding her tightly he kissed her forehead and closed his eyes.

Her shoulders shook from the jagged sobs as she alternately clung to his shirt and beat his chest with her fists. Holding her closer, he gently rocked them both back and forth.

*****************

“Echenna arel oo-rta,” Willow paused to squint at the old, faded writing,
“Innae, wiah furdoon…fica-….fica-….fica-whozywhatsit?” In exasperation she
stopped and picked the book up, “Geez, these people should write these things clearer.

Glancing up, she noticed that the pendant sitting before her had stopped glowing.

“Oh no. Don’t do that…” sighing she picked it up and tapped on it tentatively, almost as if it were a flashlight low on batteries, “Glow darn it, glow.”

< The orb thing was so much easier. The whole spell was on a computer printout… life was simpler back then… > Biting her lip in frustration, she reached over the table for a piece of scrap paper and a pen, “Well, I might as well transcribe this phonetically so I can read it.”

Dropping the pendant back into its bowl, she started scribbling furiously on the paper while leaning over the book. She was almost half-way through before her watch started beeping. < Five minutes past the hour..time to stir the solution. >  She grabbed the bowl with the pendant and swirled it around in the clear colored liquid. < Kinda like baking! > she thought happily as she stirred away. That’s when the liquid turned a strange gold color and started bubbling.

< Okay, maybe not. >

****************

 “She’s not here.”

“What do you mean she isn’t here?” Xander broke in, somewhat panicked.

“She’s missing.”

“We need to find her. Did you call her house?”

“Yup, twice. There’s no answer. Actually, you can go try that again and I’ll find Buffy and Angel.”

“Wait-there’s Buffy.”

Running through the crowd to catch the Slayer before she left, Cordelia intercepted the other girl.

“Buffy, we need your he-,” the words choked off as soon as she saw the blonde girl’s face.

Her hair was somewhat mussed and her clothing was wrinkled. Buffy’s eyes were red and swollen and her mascara was streaked down her face.

“Ohmigosh, what happened?”

“It’s nothing. What do you want Cordelia?” mildly embarassed, she sniffled slightly and pulled herself up straighter while wiping some of the makeup off her face.

“Willow’s missing.”

The slayer’s eyes opened wider, “What?”

“She left alone, we think. She must’ve gone about an hour ago and there’s no answer
at her house. Xander’s calling there again and Amy went over to check on her.”

“We need to find her,” shivering internally, Buffy sensed that something was very very wrong with this situation.

“What’s going on?” Cordelia asked, somewhat surprised by the intensity of the slayer’s words.

“This isn’t good. Not good at all. We need to find her before…well….we just need to find her now.”

Cordelia nodded silently as Buffy pushed past her and started for the exit, “Call Giles. Tell him to meet us at the library.”

“Sure thing…But where’s Angel?” the dark-haired girl called after her.

Buffy didn’t respond.

****************

He stood outside her darkened house with his hands in his pockets. His heart still stung from what had just transpired with Buffy, but he knew deep down, that it was the right thing to do.

She deserved an honest answer and he needed to straighten things out between them once and for all.

Letting her go was probably one of the hardest things he’d ever done in his life.

Shaking his head he leaned against the street lamp.  < I’ll just wait for her here. >

All of a sudden, a figure appeared on the porch. As in, literally appeared.

In a glittering mass of sparkles and fire Amy Madison materialized. From the frantic look on the girl’s face, Angel could tell that something was wrong.

“C’mon…open the door…open the door,” the blonde teenager pushed the bell repeatedly while hopping around on the welcome mat. The bell’s shrill sound could be d echoing throughout the empty house, “Damn,” she muttered under her breath.

“Amy? What’s going on?”

She spun around “Oh, Angel. Umm..have you seen Willow?”

His features darkened, “ Not since I saw her in the Bronze. Why?”

“She’s missing.”

“What?”

Amy looked near tears, “She’s missing and we can’t find her.”

“Calm down, it’s okay,” he replied soothing. Outwardly calm, he could feel the panic bubbling up within his chest, “We’ll find her.”

“You don’t understand…"

"Then help me to."

"I-I’ve been having these..well, these nightmares lately.”

His eyes narrowed slightly, “Nightmares?”

“Nightmares…visions…whatever. They’ve been getting more…vivid not to mention violent and, well, have you ever had deja vu?”

He nodded numbly.

“Ever since she left…I’ve been getting this odd feeling…almost as if I’ve been here before or witnessed this happen. It took a long time for me to figure out…but now I think I know what’s going on.”

“What?”

“Something terrible is going to happen tonight and with Willow missing...it might already be too late to stop it. "

Firmly locking the library doors behind her, Willow smiled as she replaced the keys in her purse.  If the tiny explosion which had almost singed the bottom of her hair had been any indication, the spell had proven successful. With a little luck, by tomorrow morning
Angel would be enjoying his birthday present. Checking her watch, Willow gasped softly at the time, “Past 4am? Geez, I’d better get back home. Amy must be flipping out.”

Although it was usually too dangerous to walk around this late at night, things had been pretty tame on terms of vampiric activity lately. She felt that she could risk the five minute walk home.

Taking out her stake, just in case, she headed down the street and turned the corner, just missing the car that pulled into the school parking lot behind her.

Oblivious to her surroundings, she whistled happily while contemplating the look on Angel’s face when he got his gift. She was positive he’d love it.

Less than two blocks away from her house, she heard a noise. Almost like a shuffling sound. Turning her head to glance behind her, something cold, hard, and metallic came in contact with the back of her neck.

Almost instantly, she fell forward, the pain lancing down her spine.

Roughly, several pairs of hands hoisted her upwards and then flung her body into a nearby alley. Tripping, she fell into the cold, wet pavement, scraping her knee against the cement ground.

Bleary eyed she looked up and saw five…no, make that six young male vampires standing around her.

“This the wench Spike told us to get?”

“Yup, see the red ‘air?” one of them chuckled as he grabbed a fistfull of her locks and yanked her head upwards painfully.

“She’s a skinny li’le thing, ain’t she?” One of the younger ones remarked.

“Yeah, what’s Spike want with ‘er?” piped up another.

“She’s one of the slayer’s chums. She’s also close with our dearly departed Angelus, so it seems.”

Becoming fully conscious of her situation, Willow began struggling with the vampire who was holding her hair. She was rewarded with a quick kick to the chest which broke a few of her ribs. The pain was immense. It exploded almost instantly and melted throughout her entire upper body. Coughing up blood, she rolled over, trying to get away again. This time her captor just laughed and slammed her head into the pavement before releasing his hold on her hair.

“Feisty whore ain’t she?”

“Too bad we have to kill ‘er.”

“I know. It is a bloody pity. She’s kinda cute.”

“She’d make a good consort, don’t ya think?”

“No mate, you remember what Spike said, we have to kill this one. No messing around.”

“Well, I was just saying…”

Willow moaned helplessly and tried to crawl up.

“C’mon, c’mon, let’s get this done with. I think we’re losing our audience,” the first one smiled wickedly, “We’ll ‘ave to teach our guest about having better manners.”

She had just managed to flip herself onto her back when she got a good look at the figures surrounding her. Much to her horror, each was carrying a long, metal pole.

“Ready boys? Now remember to put your backs into it,” one of them called out.

She let out a strangled scream.

“Let’s go.”

All at once, the bright poles came down on her body, smashing her arm, shattering her leg and bruising her internal organs. The pain was so great that she couldn’t even call out for help. It shot through her body like molten lava through her veins.

There was a brief wooshing noise as they were drawn back up and again the poles pummeled her body. She heard a snapping noise before she felt the pain of her other leg breaking. One vampire brought his pole down vertically instead of horizontally, impaling her foot and twisting it at an odd angle on the pavement. There was a second breif respite as the weapons were simultaneously raised and she felt her stomach contract.

The poles came down again, this time, slamming partially into her face, breaking part of her jaw, and ripping a gash into her forehead. Her brain was literally set on fire from the sensory overload. Vaguely, she throught she could hear laughter in the distance, but the blood was rushing so loudly into her ears that she couldn’t be sure.

She felt her mind start to shut down in an attempt to escape the pain. As her eyes fluttered shut, she felt the poles come crashing down again…and again…blood filled her lungs and she choked and gasped for air until the darkness finally claimed her. The last prayer to filter through her mind was simply for the pain to stop.

It didn’t.

***************

Giles checked his watch. 4:30 am.

He shook his head nervously and took off his glasses to clean them for what must have been the tenth time in the past fifteen minutes. Pretty soon he’d just wear a hole through the lenses.

“G-man!” Xander came running into the library, causing the Watcher to almost drop the
book he was holding.

“Y-yes, Xander?”

“What happened?” they asked simultaneously.

“Oh…she’s not here? You haven’t heard from her?” the boy sounded distinctly disappointed.

“No,” Giles felt his own heart sinking.

“We didn’t find her. Cordy’s still driving around, though.”

“Yes, well Buffy hasn’t been back yet either.”

“We checked all around the bronze and the park and the yogurt shop and kinda near her house but there was no sign of her.”

“Buffy is checking the sewers and the cemetary to see if she can…coax some information.”

“Where’s Amy?”

“She just returned from checking around here and Cordelia’s house. She’s in my office.”

“How is she?”

“Still very upset. She honestly believes this has something to do with her nightmares.”

Xander nodded.

“Perhaps you should go speak to her,” Giles ventured gently.

A hesitant look crossed the boy’s face but it quickly disappeared, “Yes. I think I will.”
He started across the room, “Hey Giles, what do you think? Is it really possible that this is all a part of Amy’s dream?”

Replacing the glasses on his nose, the Watcher shook his head sadly, “I hope not, Xander,” he sounded tired, “I hope not.”

****************
 
 

It was nearly 5 in the morning and Angel knew he was running out of time. The sun would be up very soon and he still hadn’t been able to find Willow.

Rounding the corner a few blocks away from her house, he decided to go back to check if she’d returned.

He’d gotten about five feet down the street when he smelled it.

Blood.

The scent hit him like a wall, full in the face, so strongly that he wrinkled his nose.

< What the…? > Breaking into a jog, he headed towards it.

As he drew closer, his sensitive ears picked up other sounds. There was a soft, muffled scraping sound coming from nearby. Then another scent hit him.

Lilacs.

The jog almost instantly turned into a full throttled run. Rounding another corner, he swung into the alley.

And started choking almost immediately.

There, lying stretched out on the pavement, beat until she was barely recognizeable was Willow. The scraping noise was the sound of her watch as it scratched against the pavement when her hand twitched.

“Will-,” he started for her, a lump growing in his throat. Suddenly he was attacked from behind.

In his haste to reach her, he had neglected the solitary figure lurking in the shadows. One of Spike’s young thugs had stayed behind to make sure that the hacker would slowly bleed to death.

And now he was making the mistake of attacking a very angry, borderline hysterical Angel.

A split second after the younger man grabbed him around the waist, something deep inside Angel…snapped. With an almost animalistic scream, he lurched forward and swung his attacker over his head and into a wall.

Without even seeing, thinking, or hearing, he advanced upon the slightly stunned young man.

“Who sent you?” he bellowed in fury as he hauled him up and slammed him backwards into the wall. His face had already changed into an ugly, bony, snarl.

“Spike,” came the weak response.

“Really?” Angel purred, his eyes glowing a brighter yellow, “then I won’t kill you.”

The other man looked relieved. That is, until Angel ripped into his throat and tore it partially out, “You can die all by yourself.”

With practiced ease, he proceeded to snap both of the younger man’s legs and hauled the damaged body outside into the middle of the street where he dumped it unceremoniously to the ground.

“This way, you’ll either bleed to death or burn to death when the sun rises. Have fun,” he spat.

Running back into the alley, Angel stooped next to Willow’s broken body, “Hang in there. I’m going to get you to the hospital.” He glanced at his watch. 5:02. The sun was scheduled to rise at 5:11. Carefully cradling her in his arms, he rose and started to run in the direction of Sunnydale Emergency.

“An…Angel?”

His heart leapt to his throat when he heard her speak his name. It came off like a soft squeak. He’d never heard anyone sound so tortured.

“Oh God, Willow…it’s me…I’m going to get you help.”

She managed to smile weakly before retching up blood, “Angel?” she asked again blearily, “It’s your birthday…”

“Shh…don’t talk. Please Willow, don’t say anything just save your strength and hang in there.”

“I…I can see you…in my head.”
It wasn’t until then that he noticed the almost vacant look in her green eyes.

After almost an hour of severe beating, Willow was well past seeing.

He started to weep gently, his tears mixing with her blood.

“You have a really nice smile,” she continued obliviously, “you should smile..more…more…..often.” Gasping from the effort, her face suddenly contorted in pain, “Promise me that you’ll smile more often,” she gasped.

He nodded vigorously, “I will…”

Suddenly she let out a high-pitched, slightly demented giggle, “It’s your birthday, you know.”

He shook his head helplessly, “Willow, please…please don’t do this. Don’t talk. You need to save your strength.”

She gave him a peaceful smile, “Why?”

He glanced at his watch. 5:07.

“B-because I need to get you to the hospital. They’re going to help you,” he replied incoherently.

“Oh no…they won’t be able to,” she smiled up at him, “I’m going to die, Angel”

“Don’t say that!” he whispered harshly.

“But it’s the truth,” she responded in almost child-like innocence, “I feel so cold.”

“It’s loss of blood,” he started to cut through the park.

It was 5:09.

“Don’t leave me,” she murmured softly, “Please, don’t leave me, Angel. I feel safe with you. You’ll save me.” She smiled again.

He glanced down at her and knew it was true. Tears flooding his own eyes, he shook his head angrily. Willow was going to die.

In that one moment he made his decision, turning, he started to make his way in the opposite direction.

“Talk to me, Angel,” she whispered, “I like the sound of your voice.”

“I-I’m sorry Willow, I-I can’t…,” he managed to choke out.

“That’s okay….”

There were several more seconds of silence as he rushed towards the hill. Nearing his goal, he took in the view. It was a huge emerald mound which sat at the very edge of the park. From the top of it, one could see almost all of Sunnydale. Including the sunrise…

“Angel?” she asked again, her voice strangely clear this time.

He hurriedly made his way up the incline, holding her tightly against his chest, “Yes?”

“I’m…I’m sorry….”

Approaching the climax, he glanced down at her, “It wasn’t your fault. You had no way of..of knowing what was going to happen. They were after me, not you. I should have warned you b-but, I just never thought..”

“No, silly,” she giggled suddenly, “I’m not talking about that.”

It was 5:10.

“Then what?”

“I’m sorry I fell in love with you,” she replied calmly.

He just stared at her in complete shock, completely at a loss for words. Vaguely, in the distance, the first rays of light began to spread over the sky.

“Willow..I love you too.”

“Oh good,” she smiled innocently, “that makes me happy.”

Glancing up at the horizon he felt a strange tingling sensation in his body. < So this is what it feels like to die in the sun… >

It was 5:11.

Gritting his teeth he stared straight ahead and prepared for the inevitable fire which would engulf them both.

“Goodbye Willow,” he murmured.

And with those words, the sun broke free into the sky. Even he had to squint at its brilliance. In the 240 years he’d spent in the dark, he’d almost forgotten how beautiful it was to be in the light.

The lovely orb continued its ascent into the sky as Angel waited for his fate.
And waited…and waited…

Aside from the initial tingling which had gradually dissipated and the faint warmth of the light on his skin, there was absolutely nothing. No pain, no burns, no fire, nothing. His surprise turned to shock.

She shifted slightly in his arms and he looked down again, “Happy Birthday Angel,” she sighed before her eyes fluttered shut.

And so, on a clear spring day, on top of a hill at 5:14 in the morning, just past sunrise…

Willow Ann Rosenberg died.

Giles sat down heavily.

5:30 am.

A little more than 3 and a half hours since Willow was last seen. He stared sullenly at the library table, too tired to be worried and too sleep-deprived to be able to think straight.
These past few weeks had been some of the hardest of his life and just now it was beginning to take its toll.

“Tea, Giles?”

He looked up to see Buffy standing over him with a steaming cup.

“N-no, no thank you,” he sighed and removed his glasses in order to place his head in his hands. < All my fault. Just like Jenny. >

She touched his shoulder, “It’ll make you feel better.”

No response.

“Okay, I’ll put it down right here.”

Leaving the cup on the table to his left, she pulled up a nearby chair.

“We’ll find her. Don’t worry, Giles, we’ll find her and she’ll be fine.”

Still no response.

“Angel isn’t back yet, you know.”

He shook his head without raising it. When his voice came out, it was slightly muffled, “Something is wrong. It’s unlike her to just disappear like this. I-It’s all my fault…if I hadn’t driven her away, she would have felt comfortable in confiding in me an-,”

“It’s NOT your fault!” she leaned her head on his shoulder, “None of this is anyone’s fault. If Spike really did kidnap her then we’ll fight him. We’ll get her back.”

“No we won’t.”

Buffy looked up to where Xander was sitting cross-legged on the floor near the window. He’d been like that ever since sunrise. Just staring blankly out the window, unblinking, unseeing and totally non-responsive. Until just now.

“What are you talking about?”

“She’s…not here,” he replied dryly.

“What?” she asked, confused.

“I’ve known Willow for almost 17 years, Buffy. She’s not here anymore,” there was a slight edge to his voice as his irritation began to mount.

“Well, you’re right Xander, she isn’t,” Buffy attempted to sooth him, “She’s missing, we’ve been through that before. But we’ll fin-,”

“No,” he responded coldly.

“Wh-what?”

“I SAID NO!” he shouted suddenly, his voice cutting through the silence of the library,
“She’s NOT here,” he turned to stare at her and she recognized the wild, almost uncontrolled look in his dark eyes.

< Grief. > she realized with mild shock. < He’s already grieving. But why? > “Xander, you’re not making any sense. Please, don’t sit over there. Come here and talk to us.”

The door swung open, cutting off his reply.

A leather jacket clad figure was backing into the library.

“Angel? You’re back!” Buffy stood, “Did you find…Willow…” her voice trailed off as he turned around.

Giles looked up.

“Oh dear God.”

**

Cordelia Chase was just coming back from the vending machine, a diet coke in one hand and her high-heeled dance shoes in the other when she heard it.

A loud, borderline animalistic scream, which sent, shivers shooting down her spine.

< Xander. > That one thought caused her to fling her possessions aside and take off running down the hall, top speed. Throwing open the library doors, she thundered into the room.

The first thing she noticed was that Amy was standing in the door to Giles’ office. She was kinda…not moving. She didn’t look sad, or angry or shocked…she was just..there.

Turning her attention away from the blonde girl, Cordy scanned the library looking for Xander.

Finally, she found him, writhing on the floor and wrestling with Angel. He wasn’t really making much noise beyond an occasional animal-like grunt or whine as he pummeled the vampire lying beneath him. Angel, for his part, was trying to block the incessant blows and sit up without harming the boy.

“Xander, get off of me, dammit!” he growled angrily, pinning the younger man’s arms to his sides while flipping off of the ground. Gone was the previously passive and silent Angel who had last appeared in the library. Gone was the mild, shadow-like nature he had exhibited when he’d first revealed himself with Willow at his side. There was now a fire and a life to Angel, which hadn’t been present before.

“Xander, get off of him!” Needlessly, Cordelia echoed the order and ran towards the still struggling pair.

As she pushed towards them, she noted that Giles and Buffy had their backs to her so she couldn’t see their faces. In addition to that, they were obstructing her view of something on the table.

Instinctively, she knew not to look at whatever it was for fear of losing her nerve.

“Xander Harris, get OFF of him,” she yelled while trying to pry her boyfriend away.

“I’m going to KILL you,” he ground out between clenched teeth, as he broke free of Angel’s grip and started swinging at the vampire again.

“Xander!” she shouted, yanking at his arm and wondering why no one seemed to be helping her to break this up.

“You killed her you damn bastard and you deserve to die.”

“I didn’t kill her. I’m trying to save her life, you stupid, idiotic fool now get the HELL off of me!” Angel shouted back.

< Killed? Ohmigosh… > Unable to help herself, Cordy turned her head towards the table…just as Xander swung his arm back for another blow at his opponent.

His elbow smacked into the side of her face with a resounding crack.

That did it.

Turning her full attention back to the fighting pair, she grabbed her boyfriend’s waist in fury and physically hauled him off of the ground while shoving him away.

Tears welled in her eyes from the force of the impact, nevertheless, she stared at him unblinkingly, “Xander you dumbass STOP IT!”

He stared back at her, almost as if coming out of a trance, “Cordy? Oh no….did I…? Cordy, are you okay?” gingerly, he reached out to touch her face and she knelt down beside him.

“Xander, what’s gotten into you?”

“Willow…she’s…he brought her in and…she’s…gone,” he muttered incoherently while stroking her cheek helplessly.

Gently pushing him away, she stood again and finally looked at the table, an aching dread in her heart.

When she finally saw what everyone else had been staring at so silently, she felt…nothing. Aside from a mildly cold feeling in the pit of her stomach, the body lying out on the table, with it’s purplish, distorted limbs and the red gashes across it’s forehead just wasn’t real. There was nothing she had ever seen, living or dead, that was comparable to it. The way the bones stuck out through the flesh, or the odd angle of the foot…it simply wasn’t real.

But as the bile rose up in the back of her throat, Cordelia knew it was.

“Is she really dead?”

Slowly, she raised her eyes from the gory sight to see who’d spoken.

Amy hovered a few feet away from the table, the blank look still on her face as she licked her lips, “She’s dead isn’t she?”

“Save her,” Angel whispered hoarsely. He had moved away from the Xander and the rest of the group and was standing almost directly behind the young girl.

She just shook her head wordlessly.

Gingerly, he reached out a hand and touched her shoulder.

She flinched away.

“Heal her,” he repeated the request, this time taking firm hold of her arm.

There were several moments of silence as all attention focused off of the table and onto the young witch.

Slowly, she shook her head again, “I-I can’t.”

“No,” Angel replied forcefully, “I don’t believe that. Not for a second. She’s your friend too and you love her. Now save her, Amy. You’re the only one who can.”

When she turned to face him, he saw the fear that haunted her blue eyes.
“You don’t know what you’re asking me to do.”

“I’m asking you to heal her body.”

“You’re asking me to bring her back to life!” she shouted, yanking her arm away from him, “I can’t do that. No one can raise the dead….not unless they’ve been embraced,” she let out a sarcastic laugh, “Tell me Angel, as she lay, dying in your arms, did you ever think to embrace her?” she turned to stare at the table again.

He yanked her back to face him, “No, I never thought to embrace her. I’d never put her through that kind of hell. Never.”

“Then there’s nothing I can do. She’s dead.”

“Save her, Amy,” he repeated the question while narrowing his eyes.

“I can’t bring her back to life!!!”

“Heal her body, then!” he shouted in her face.

“It’s no use,” she choked helplessly, finally starting to cry.

“Why?” he demanded harshly.

Her blue eyes glowed a soft white, “Because I’ve looked and there’s nothing,” she responded, her voice breaking, “Her body is here…but her soul is gone.”

“What do you mean it’s ‘gone.’”

“I mean,” she said, a slow, angry burn rising in her chest, “that her soul has fled her body.”

Angel shook his head, unable, unwilling to believe.

Amy’s anger simply grew, “Wouldn’t yours if you were in her…position?”

His grip on her arm loosened slightly but he held his ground, “I won’t accept that. She fought for me and now I’m fighting for her. Amy, you have got to save her.”

“I can’t,” she repeated softly, an immeasurable sadness invading her voice, “Her body might be here and I can heal it…but without her soul…there’s nothing I can do.”

< There’s nothing I can do….. >

The words echoed through his head over and over again as he paced around his apartment, nearly clawing up the walls in grief and frustration.

It had been nearly 6 hours since he’d brought Willow’s body to the library and if he’d had his own way, he’d still be there, sitting right alongside her. Unfortunately, after convincing Amy to mend the hacker’s body, he’d been forced out of the room.

Well, in order to be fair to the witch, he recognized that they had ALL been forced out of the room. He sighed in frustration nonetheless and raked a hand through his dark hair.

Mainly, it was because her power was still fairly unstable and there were no guarantees on what would take place during the healing. They had been forced out both for their own safety as well as Willow’s. It wasn’t until that little fact was brought up that Angel, who cared very little about his own life, agreed to leave. Evidently ANY amount of excess energy in the room could backfire and destroy her body while she was in her weakened state.

Amy had requested eight hours of peace and he’d give it to her, but the instant the clock
struck 2 he would be back in that library.

Sitting on the edge of his bed, he put his head in his hands.

< If only I knew what to do next… > he smiled bitterly < where do souls fly off to? >
If anyone should have ideas on the location of renegade souls, it was him. Unfortunately, he hadn’t so much as a clue where to even begin to look.

< If only I hadn’t gotten so close to her…she’d still be alive >

 And yet, in his heart, he could never truly feel regret over their relationship. She, in that one short month, had meant more to him than anyone had throughout his entire life. And the most amazing part was how she’d accomplished it: simply being who she was and accepting him for who he was. She opened herself up to him physically, intellectually and emotionally, basically in every way humanly possible. He’d never be able to repay her for that gift. It was priceless.

Even more valuable than the ability to watch the sunrise.

He snorted at the irony of it all. It was late morning and his shades were still tightly pulled. Part of it was force of habit and part of it was the now-inextricable memories associated with the sunlight. He couldn’t bear to even look at the darkened window. Not with the knowledge that outside, the world was bright and innocent and happy.
It was completely undeserved. The birds shouldn’t have been chirping, the sky shouldn’t have been blue and the sun most certainly had no right to shine.  < It should be raining. > he thought angrily < Dark and stormy. Fire and grayness intertwined. It should be pouring floods and the wind should be blowing. >
 

He sighed and lay back on the black silken sheets.

< If only she hadn’t been seen with me. If only I’d been more careful with her. Spike would never have known to go after her. > Angel raised his head. His eyes glowed a mild yellow and he bared a hint of fang at the thought of the peroxide vampire. < He’s signed his own death warrant. > It had already been set in his mind. Whether or not Willow survived, Spike was as good as dead.

He rolled over onto his stomach and buried his head in his pillow. Even with the other man destroyed, dusted and gone, it still wouldn’t heal his own heart, Angel knew that well enough. It would be many years, perhaps a whole other lifetime before that happened.

And, although the pain would eventually fade with time, the memories never would.

He’d never forget the way she looked. The sound of her voice. The way her eyes danced when she laughed. The awkward curve of her lips when she smiled and tucked her hair behind her ears. Her modesty. Her kindness. Her intelligence. Nothing would clear his mind of any of those things.

Tears fell into the dark cloth as he recalled the peaceful expression on her face when he admitted his love for her.

< At least she died…happy. >

Nonetheless, it was all so unfair. All so terribly and utterly unfair. There was nothing crueler than realizing how much you loved someone too late to act upon it. And now, he’d give almost anything to get her back…

“Did anyone ever tell you that you sparkle, Angel?”

The sweet feminine voice echoed through his head. < Lord how I miss her… >

“With all different colors..almost like a kalidoscope. It’s very pretty to watch.”

It took him an additional moment to realize that the voice wasn’t in his head.

Slowly, cautiously, he lifted his head off of the pillow, simultaneously scared out of his mind that it was only a dream and hopeful beyond belief that it wasn’t.

She smiled at him. Her hair was pulled back into a simple ponytail and she was clad in a slender white silk sheath.

“Willow?” It was her…and at the same time it wasn’t.

Her smile widened and she nodded her head.

“You…look older.” He couldn’t believe it. She had been dead for what seemed like years while he’d nearly killed himself in grief and that was all he could think to say to her?

She nodded again, smiling more brightly, “Well, I am. I always was a bit older on the inside than I was on the outside. It only holds true that as a physical embodiment of who I was when I was alive, I’d look a bit more mature.”

He just continued to stare at her in awe.

She giggled softly, the sound echoed oddly around the room.

“Did you know that souls are attracted to beauty?”

He sat up abruptly, his eyes widening.

She cocked her head at him shyly, “Not physical beauty…but...internal beauty,” she advanced towards him slowly and stopped a few feet in front, “you’re very beautiful, Angel,” she murmured softly.
 

“Willow…,” he reached out to touch her just as her own hand extended towards his chest.

Gradually he felt a wonderful warmth spread over him as her hand hovered a few inches above.

She giggled, looking distinctly pleased, “The colors are dancing again!” she exclaimed happily.

“I…I don’t know what to say,” his voice was hoarse from emotion, “How did you…why did you…?”

She sat down next to him, “Why is this so hard for you to believe?” she asked curiously.

“It’s just that….you look so…so….alive.”

And it was true. With a sparkle in her green eyes and a vibrant blush on her face, the figure beside him looked more flesh and blood than spirit.

“What were you expecting? Ghostly whiteness and transparent light?” she shook her head, “Commercialized nonsense.”

Despite himself, he broke into a grin. Deep down, he knew it was her. It was Willow in the way she’d look and act in the not-too-distant future when her young body finally caught up with her advanced mind. The way she’s appear when the awkwardness and gawkiness of youth were finally shed to reveal who she really was. The way she’d never get the opportunity to be.

“Why did you come here?” he asked.

“To say goodbye of course!!” she threw her arms around his shoulders in a jubilant hug, “And to see if you liked your birthday present!”

It was all so strange. Being hugged by her soul. Being enveloped in the very essence that was once the person he had loved so dearly. He could very well have died in that embrace and been eternally grateful for it.

“I loved the present,” he whispered into her red hair, “thank you.”

She pulled away from him and an aching emptiness invaded his heart, “I’m so happy,” she smiled back, “And now I have to leave.” With a gentle wave, she stood up and moved away.

“Stay with me, Willow,” he asked quietly.

Shaking her head, she continued to back off, “Oh no, I can’t do that, Angel. You know that.”

“Why not?”

“Because…well, because I’m dead.”

“Amy can save you.”

“She can’t bring me back to life, Angel.”

“You’re right, she can’t. Only you can do that. She can heal your body, though.”

A sad smile crossed the hackers pretty face and she gradually started to fade out of existence, “I’m sorry, Angel. It’s a lovely idea, but I’m not allowed to. They won’t let me.”

“Who won’t let you?”

Her features were rapidly becoming indistinguishable as she glanced upwards briefly before returning her gaze to his own, “They,” she repeated, a playful smile on her lips.

He shook his head in frustration, “Well tell them that they have to.”

“I can’t,” she was almost gone, “Not without a good enough reason.”

“Tell them that your friends need you.”

She shook her head, “I’m sorry, Angel.”

“T-tell them that you have so much good you can still do here. It isn’t your time.”

“Goodbye.”

He stood up desperately and grabbed at her arm, only to have his hands slip though thin air, “Tell them I love you, isn’t that good enough?”

A sweet smile crossed her face as she finally vanished, leaving behind a long, painful silence.

Evidently, it wasn’t.

It was 1:59 and he was standing outside of the library, pacing angrily.

It didn’t matter what “they” did or said or thought, he was going to get her back.
He was never going to give up on her, just as she’d never given up on him.

In the distance he could hear the soft clicking of Buffy’s boots on the linoleum as she approached the library. He still couldn’t see her, but he knew she was close.

Angel hadn’t heard from any of them since he’d left the library early that morning.
The burden of Willow’s death, as usual, was a solitary one. After her unexpected visit to his apartment, however, he was almost thankful for the privacy and isolation.

2:00.

Not bothering to wait for Buffy, he burst through the doors eagerly.

Amy didn’t seem to be anywhere in sight so he approached the central table with caution.

Willow’s  body was still stretched across it’s surface, only this time, she looked almost normal. He breathed a sigh of relief. Beyond a few remaining pale bruises and a bandaged hand, she looked fine. Physically.

In his mind, he knew that the room was very empty. Her soul was still missing.

The door creaked open softly and he ignored Buffy’s entrance while leaning forward to stroke Willow’s cheek.

“Where’s Amy?” the slayer inquired softly as she walked up behind him.

“I haven’t seen her.”

Buffy looked around, “Have you checked Giles’ office?”

“Not yet,” he murmured in a distracted voice as he gazed at the red-head’ss long lashes and slightly flushed cheeks. < She looks almost as if she were sleeping… >

“How is she?”

The pair looked up and saw Xander standing in the doorway. Cordelia peeked over his shoulder.

“Better,” Buffy shrugged

“She’s still gone, though, isn’t she?” the question was more of a statement as Xander came to stand grimly behind Angel.

“Still gone,” the vampire sighed softly.

“Ohmigosh, Amy!” Cordelia squealed and ran around to the other side of the table.

The young witch was lying on the ground, passed out from exhaustion and partially obscured from view.

Quickly, the rest of the teenagers followed and lifted her limp body. Collectively, they carried it to a nearby couch.

“She’s alright,” Angel checked her pulse and found it to be satisfactorily strong, “Just drained. She’ll be out for several hours, though.”

Gently grabbing some pillows to prop her head up, Cordy ran about making the blonde girl comfortable while Buffy went into Giles’ office to call the Watcher. He was still busily researching ways in which to recall Willow’s soul to her body.

Xander went back to stand beside his best friend’s body and Angel wordlessly followed him.

“I loved her too, you know,” the younger man said quietly.

Angel merely nodded.

“Never got to say goodbye.”

“I’m sorry.”

“You shouldn’t be.”

Angel looked at him in mild surprise, “What do you mean?”

Xander paused a moment before responding, “Because at least I had a chance even though I missed it. You weren’t even given that much.”

Angel shook his head.

“She was a truly incredible human being,” the dark haired boy said softly.

“She still is.”

Xander smiled sadly and nodded before turning away to join his girlfriend.

And so, yet again, Angel found himself alone.

Cautiously, he took a seat next to her body.

Skimming his fingertips across her arm down to her injured hand, he gently placing it in his own.

Deep in his heart he knew this was it. A final goodbye. She was gone and would never come back.

His voice shaking, he started to speak…

 “Willow?….I..I know you can hear me…wherever you are. I also know you’re happy and I hope you stay that way,” he faltered slightly, trying to verbalize what he was feeling, “I…uhmm…this is so strange..talking to you like this….I guess I just wanted to say that I’m sorry,” he chuckled all of a sudden, imagining her cautionary tone as she admonished him for his never ending guilt, “For the last time… I promise….,” he swallowed hard, “I guess I’m sorry because I waited so long to say anything to you…so long to tell you what I was feeling….it’s just that…well…you have this way of sneaking up on people, you know?” He smiled at her prone form, tears in his eyes, “You’ve gotta stop doing that.”

The others had taken notice of the ongoing ‘conversation’ Angel was having in hushed tones as he stooped over the table, but they chose to keep their distance.

“I mean, all of a sudden I’m thinking and..well, I realize that I’ll never get to hear you laugh again. Or stand and listen to you play music from across the street. Or sit beside you while you played music, either,” he smiled, “I never got to be properly introduced to your parents. Your mom and dad…they meant a lot to you, I know.”

He bit his lip but pushed on, “I also…regret…never being able to..well…completely share myself with you. There were so many more stories I wanted to tell you. So many ideas I wanted to..to share. There are so many things I wanted to ask you about. Like..like that time Xander tried to help you bake cookies and then caught your hair in the electric mixer and your mom had to cut it out? H-how did you feel about that? I mean…did you like short hair or…were you mad? Do you have pictures with short hair?” He smiled slightly, “I think you’d look pretty with short hair…or long hair…or no hair,” again, he started laughing. < This is so strange, I should be angry. I should be crying. I should be upset but…I’m not. >

“Or-or how about that time that Cordy tripped you and you broke your arm just before school let out for the summer?” he continued excitedly, “Were you..well, stuck like that all summer? Was it boring for you or did you still have fun? Could you go swimming? Do you like to swim?”

He licked his lips, “Or that time you snuck over to Xander’s house for the first time to watch the Charlie Brown Christmas video when you were seven? What’s the big deal about the snoopy dance? I mean, 10 years later and you were still doing it every Christmas. I’ve never seen it before…but….if you’d gotten a chance to show me…,” he started laughing hard. This time the image of Willow flailing about and demonstrating some ridiculous cartoon-ish dance came to mind.

Gradually, all eyes in the library turned to the shaking vampire as he went into another fit of hysterics.

Catching their gaze, he managed to calm down, “I..I guess you get the point,” he murmured softly while brushing her hair off of her face, “Of all the things I regret the most about us is that we never had an opportunity to…to..well..I dunno, enjoy life together. We never got a chance to eat a meal together…or to…watch a movie…,” he sighed, “I never got a chance to hold your hand or kiss you goodnight or…to dance with you.”

He shook his head wistfully, “We never did finish that dance, did we?”

Feeling sad again all of a sudden, he brought her hand up to his lips and kissed it gently, “I’d give anything to dance with you, Willow.”

His voice trailed off as he stared at her still-immobile body. Nothing. Absolutely nothing.

“Angel? Giles is coming down now. He doesn’t think there’s anything we can do…”
Buffy placed a comforting hand on his shoulder, “When he gets here, we’ll probably call the police..to..report this…”

He nodded dully and stood up, “Yes, that’s probably a good idea.”

“You’re a pretty good dancer, I might have to take you up on that offer.”

“What?” he turned to Buffy, a confused look on his face.

“What?” Buffy responded, equally confused, “I didn’t say anything….Angel, are you okay?”

Just as abruptly as the words echoed in his head, another sound followed.

For the first time in nearly 10 hours, Willow’s body drew a ragged breath.

“Ohmigod!” Buffy heard the sound as well this time and turned back to the table, pushing past the stunned vampire, “Willow?” she shrieked at the top of her lungs while nearly pouncing atop her.

Her scream soon drew the rest of the group who immediately swarmed into the scene.

Shoving his way through the bodies, Angel emerged to the front, “Willow? Are you there?” gingerly he reached out a hand to check her pulse.

Sure enough, the hacker’s eyes fluttered open, “Angel?” she murmured groggily, “Oh…hi guys,” she smiled up at the circle of friends which surrounded her.

Cordelia and Buffy started shrieking simultaneously. Taking tiny baby hops towards one another, they joined hands and jumped around in circles just as Giles walked in through the doors.

“W-what, on earth…??” for a brief second the Watcher thought they’d all gone completely hysterical over Willow’s death. Then he looked past them and saw the hacker’s eyes were open and she was talking quietly to Angel and Xander.

Utterly speechless, he dropped his briefcase to the floor and ran over to the table himself.

“How are you feeling?” Angel whispered.

“A little sore…”she smiled up at him.

“Does your hand hurt?” Xander prodded.

“Not that much..”

“Willow! I-I can’t believe…thank God….”

“Giles? Hi! When did you get here?”
“Just a moment ago… how did this hap-,”

“You’re sure your hand doesn’t hurt, rig-,”

“Hold still, I need to keep track of your pulse-,”

“She’s alive, she’s alive, she’s alive,” Cordelia and Buffy chanted while still
jumping around, half-crying and half-laughing.

“Wh-wha…?” the screaming jolted even Amy awake. “Why are you people yelling?” the exhausted witch lifted her head from her pillow.

“She isn’t dead!! She isn’t dead!!” Cordelia shouted, breaking free from Buffy and running over to the other girl. Yanking Amy’s arm repeatedly, she tried vainly to get her to sit up.

“Huh?” uncomprehending, she looked around, “Alive, huh? Oh..coolness…” mumbling something else under her breath, Amy calmly disengaged her arm from Cordelia, flipped over onto her stomach and went back to sleep.

Shrugging, the brunette ran back and began bouncing with Buffy again.

Willow started giggling as she watched the pandemonium breaking loose all around her,
< What the heck is going on? How did I get in the library? Why is everyone spazing? >

Blocking out Xander’s highly persistent health questions and Giles’ continued disbelif over her apparent existance, she turned her inquisitive gaze to Angel’s face.

His eyes met hers and he picked up on her question almost immediately.

‘Long story’ he mouthed to her while grinning.

She raised an eyebrow at him and made a face as Xander poked her in the arm.

‘Tell me later’ she asked him silently.

He nodded vigorously in response.

And it was the truth. He’d tell her. He’d tell her the whole story from start to finish. He’d give her the details, fill in the gaps and tell her exactly how he felt about it all. How he’d always felt without even realizing it.

He watched with amusement as she fought with Xander over letting her sit up until it finally turned into a tickle fight and she was left pinned helplessly on the table laughing uncontrollably.

But then, they had time.

She darted a pleading glance at him and he rolled his eyes in mock-reprimand.

Dutifully, he ‘saved’ her and pulled her up into his arms. She then proceeded to playfully stick her tongue out at Xander who crossed his eyes in response. All three of them started laughing.

She turned her head back to face him and he caught his breath slightly. Although it hadn’t occurred to him, Angel had never seen Willow’s hair in the light before. It sparked and danced like liquid fire falling across her back and shoulders.

In that one moment, Angel felt his loneliness evaporate like magic, lost to the brightness surrounding them both. Something, he wasn’t sure if it was within his soul or above his head, but something told him that he was at peace. His journey had ended. He’d found what he was looking for.

And outside, the sun continued to shine….
 

He knocked politely on her door before entering.

No answer.

“Willow?” cautiously, he poked his head into the room.

There she was, sitting demurely on her bed under loads of fluffy white covers, clad in a simple sleeping shirt.

“Willow?” he rapped softly on the door again to get her to respond but to no avail.

She was paying rapt attention to something on television.

Shrugging, he pushed the door open and entered her room carrying the rose.
Closing it firmly behind him, he walked over to the dresser and placed the rose in
the boquet along with the others.  It wasn’t until he crossed in front of the TV that she looked up.

“Hey!” she smiled brightly at him for a split second before returning her attention back to the glowing screen.

Sighing, he joined her atop the bed and kicked his boots off. She made room for him beside her and he slung an arm comfortably around her shoulders before looking at the TV.

“What’s this?”

“Charlie Brown Christmas.”

“You’re kidding! Where’d you get it?”

“Xander dropped it off this morning.”

He chuckled to himself.

“Shhh…favorite part coming up in two seconds,” she hissed.

“Snoopy’s gonna dance?”

She nodded eagerly and he fell silent.

It had been almost six days since she’d come back to him and they still hadn’t had their serious “talk”.  He had come to visit her every day, almost religiously, just to spend a few hours with her before leaving. He kept the visits short for the most part out of respect for her parents.

 As far as her parents were concerned, Willow had been mugged that night and mildly injured in the process. For that entire week, they kept her home from school. Which was a fairly good thing because she was still weak. He’d been giving her some time to recuperate but he knew that he couldn’t hold off any longer.
 

He grinned internally. Although it had taken some time to achieve it (about 3 hours that first day) Willow’s parents absolutely loved him. Especially her mom. ‘It wasn’t just any boy she let upstairs alone in her daughter’s room’, as she’d told him herself. Raised and bred in an earlier and distinctly different era, he was truly every parent’s dream. Polite, courteous, and always helpful, he’d made a serious effort to win their affections with wonderful results.

She started bouncing up and down in time to the music, breaking him out of his thoughts.  He glanced over at the television in amusement. Sure enough, the little cartoon dog was….dancing. Or something like that.

Within a few minutes, the scene was over and he turned his full attention back to her.

She glanced up at him and smiled lazily before stretching. Scooting down lower under the covers, she lay her head on her pillow and stared up into his eyes, “So, what’s up? How is everyone?”

He smiled down at her, suddenly feeling rather nervous, “They’re all good. They miss you at school though.”

“Well, I think I can convince mom and dad to let me go back on Monday.”

He nodded, “That’s great….ummm..Willow, we need to talk.”

“About?”

“Us….”

Her smile faded slightly, “Us? What do you mean? Angel, is there something wrong?”
Although she’d noticed that something was wrong with him these past several days, she’d chosen to ignore it. Mainly, she did so because she enjoyed his company and didn’t want to lose it. Now she was scared that her decision had actually served to push him away.

“Not..wrong…so much as…well, I’m not sure how to…”

She sighed softly but shot him a brave smile, “Angel, you can tell me. No matter what it is, I’ll understand. Just go for it.”

HIs eyebrows shot up and familiar roguish smile crossed his face, “You sure you want me to….go for it?”

“Yes,” she nodded seriously, shifting her body to the right side and propping her head up on her hand to face him.

He touched the side of her face, gently tracing the edges of her barely noticeable bruises, “If you’re sure….”

She blushed at his caress but pushed the sensations out of her mind to concentrate on the more serious task at hand, “Never been more sure in my life…”

“Great,” he leaned forward, “But I’m thinking that instead of telling you, I could just show you…”

< Here goes nothing. > Tilting his head to the side, he moved closer to her and started to close his eyes. When his lips touched hers, he felt an immense spark of electricity surge up his spine.

Meanwhile, Willow’s eyes were wide open. Barely able to breathe from the shock, it didn’t really register in her head what was going on until it had already happened. Just as his lips brushed against her own, she leaned backwards in surprise and lost her balance, tumbling off of the bed and rolling a few feet across the floor.

“Willow!” he quickly peered down at her from the edge of the bed. She was lying flat on her stomach and her fall had caused the nightshirt to ride up a bit higher, exposing a considerable amount of leg.

His voice trailed off obviously as he took in the sight.

Noting his blatant ogling, she blushed furiously and tried to cover herself up by grabbing at a loose corner of blanket hanging off the bed.

Extremely bad idea.

She yanked the blanket with such fierce urgency that she failed to realize that Angel was still lying atop most of it. The sudden, violent motion caused him to tumble from his already precarious perch and to fall on top of her, knocking the wind out of both of them. The momentum forced them to roll further across the floor, now entangled within the white down covering.

Finally rolling to a halt, Willow found herself on the bottom with him directly above her. Her arms were pinned firmly to her sides by the blanket and her shirt had ridden up even further, almost to the top of her thighs. Not really thinking, she started to attempt to pull it back down by wiggling her arms underneath and thrusting her hips upwards to get some space between herself and the floor for better maneuvering ability.

Angle groaned softly under his breath, “Umm..don’t do that.”

She looked up at him innocently, “Why?”

“Just….just don’t.”

Sighing, she fell back against the floor and looked up at him expectantly, “Now what?”

He started laughing and she narrowed her eyes.

“This is all your fault, you know.”

He stopped, “MY fault?” he asked in outraged innocence, “If you hadn’t yanked the blanket..”

“If you weren’t hanging off the bed like that…”

“If you hadn’t fallen off of the bed in the first place..”

“If you hadn’t KISSED me…!” she almost yelled triumphantly before realizing her parents were downstairs. Quickly she lowered her voice, blushing, “Why did you kiss me, Angel?”

The sheer directness of the question threw him for a moment before he responded, “Because I love you and I wanted you to know that.” If she was going to be as candid as she was, he owed it to her to be the same way.

“When did you decide this?” she whispered softly, still not allowing herself to believe.

“Umm….,” he licked his lips, “That’s a hard one. It wasn’t really a conscious decision until that night we danced, I think. However, it also wasn’t really something new. I feel like I’ve loved you for a lot longer. It didn’t really surprise me when I became aware of it…”

“The night we danced….it was the same night I was attacked…” she said thoughtfully.

He nodded, dreading this part of the conversation.

“You were the one who found me and carried me back to the library, weren’t you?”

He nodded again.

“When I was…dying…did I…say anything to you, Angel?” The fear in her voice was clearly audible even though she was obviously trying to cover it.

< She’s asking if she admitted that she loved me first. She thinks I’m doing this out of
a sense of obligation or duty to her. > “You..you did,” he answered honestly even though he knew it was going to make things harder for her to believe.

“I told you didn’t I?”

“Yes, but-,”

“Look, Angel…,” she was fighting back tears, “I appreciate how you feel b-,”

Before she could continue, his lips came back into contact with hers cutting off the rest of her sentence.

Although she resisted weakly at first, his gentle coaxing got the better of her and she started to relax underneath him. Originally intended only to stop her from going off and saying something she would later regret, Angel felt reluctant to break it off. Very reluctant.

She whimpered softly as the kiss deepened, a strange fire building inside her.

Almost laughing in his head, Angel thought back to a time when he’d thought that his feelings for Willow weren’t romantic and were much more sedate than what he’d had with Buffy….after that, all coherent thoughts pretty much fled his mind.

Unwittingly, she thrust herself upwards against him, trying to get even closer and he moaned audibly. She felt his hand slide slightly farther up her thigh to keep her down and to cool them both off but things had already gotten out of control.

Gasping, and mildly light-headed from lack of air, < He doesn’t need to breathe like me…lucky guy. > she turned her head away slightly and he continued to kiss her cheek, trailing down her jaw and then down her neck.

The blankets had loosened somewhat around them and she pulled one hand free to tangle in his dark hair when she heard it.

< Uh-oh… >  “Angel?” she hissed softly, somehow finding the ability to speak.

“Hmm?” was his muffled response.

“Did you hear th-?”

He kissed her again, blocking off the rest of her sentence. Losing herself to the kiss, all warnings gently drifted out of her head until they heard the loud rap at the door.

“Willow, sweetie? Can I come in?”

Breaking off instantly, the pair stared up at eachother.

“Ooooh no…”

Wild eyed, they simultaneously fought to get out of the blanket, not to mention their awkward position, before Willow’s mother entered the room.

“Okay..okay..no,” she hissed, completely out of breath and fully aware that there was no way they were getting out of this predicament by fighting their way out, “On the count of three, we roll towards the bed, okay?”

He nodded.

“One…Two…,”
 

“Willow??” her mother called again.

“Three!” Rapidly, they went into a full fledged roll to the left. The blanket immediately loosened around them but stopped again when Angel smacked his head against the leg of Willow’s nightstand.

“Ow!” he bit down on his lip to quiet his cry of pain and she leapt off of him, holding back laughter, while dragging the blanket with her.

She was on the bed and barely covered by the blanket just as her mother entered the room.

“Mom, hi!” she looked up in mock-innocence as she smoothed her hands over her hair nervously, “I didn’t hear you.”

“Oh, well..I knocked, sweetie,” her mother paused and looked at her carefully, “I just wanted to bring you two some snacks. Your dad and I are going out to lunch. We'll be back in a few hours.” Carefully, she laid the tray of cookies and milk on the dresser before backing out of the room.

“Thanks mom!” Willow responded cheerfully.

“That was very thoughtful of you Mrs. Rosenberg, thank you,” Angel added meekly from his position on the floor. He was leaning against the bottom of the chair near her bed, trying to look casual while holding a book of Jewish songs and traditions he’d grabbed from her bookcase.

Willow’s mother simply raised her eyebrow in response, “Oh it was no trouble at all, Angel.” She smiled at him and shot her daughter one final glance. Pulling the door closed behind her, they heard her mutter, “I’d think it would be a lot more trouble reading upside down…”

In horror, Angel looked down and realized that his book was indeed turned the wrong way. His face flushed a mild shade of pink, which was fairly impressive considering his normally pale complexion.

The comment caused Willow to burst out laughing from her vantage point on the bed, especially when she noted his rumpled clothing and tousled hair which obviously hadn’t escaped her mother’s scrutiny.

“What?” he demanded.

“Have you SEEN what you look like?” she asked giggling.

Darting a glance at himself in the mirror, his face contorted in agony, “Oh no…”
Picking himself up, he sat down heavily next to her, “Your mother is never going to trust me again…”

“You’re right,” she giggled unsympathetically.

“Thanks…”

“Oh, Angel, I’m just kidding… I mean, she didn’t say anything to us right now, even though she obviously….knew,” Willow felt herself blushing again.

“Maybe you’re right…”

“Something tells me she trusts us both a lot more than we’re giving her credit for.”

A smile entered his voice, “Do you trust me, Willow?”

She leaned her head back against her pillow. She couldn’t see the expression on his face, but she knew he was teasing her, “Is there a reason I shouldn’t?” she shot back.

“I don’t know, is there?” he responded thoughtfully before turning to stare down at her.

She gasped softly at the familiar, almost predatory smile on his face. This time, though, she returned it with a dangerous smile of her own, “Not unless you show me…”

He paused a moment, a look of confusion crossing his dark features, “Show you? Show you what?”

She chuckled softly and almost purred beneath him, “Well, you know…” With an evil sparkle in her dark green eyes, she shot a lingering glance downwards.

< She’s got to be joking.. >

“Because…you know, I don’t have a lot of experience…and anything you could show me would help…”

His smile started to fade only to be replaced by other…sensations, < Oh my God…is she serious? > “R-really?” he asked, his mouth suddenly getting very dry.

“Oh yes, I think it’s a great idea. Besides, I think I’m finally ready,” she raised a playful eyebrow at him and he swallowed. Hard.

“Willow, maybe we should discus-,”

“What’s there to discuss? We talk too much already. Let’s just be spontaneous…”

“W-Willow…”

“Don’t argue with me, Angel, let’s just do it!”

He stared down at her in shock for a few moments before nodding a weak assent, “O-okay..”

Still, he stayed motionless and wide-eyed waiting for her to make the first move.

“Well?”

“Well..what?”

“Aren’t you going to stand up?”

This comment threw him into complete confusion, “Stand up? Why?”

“So that you can show me…”

“Oh..ummm…I ahh…”

“..how to dance,” she finished.

His mindless babbling ceased almost immediately and he stared at her, “How to dance?”

“Well, yes.”

“Oh,” he looked mildly disappointed.

“Why? What did you think I was talking about?”

He shook his head, and looked embarassed until he caught the mischievous gleam in her eyes. She knew EXACTLY what he’d been thinking, “Why you…”

Shrieking, she slipped out from under his arms before he could grab her and bounded off the bed,  down the hall. He rolled off the other side and ran after her.

So basically, they spent the rest of the day like that…chasing eachother around the house and flying through the sunshine.

In the end, he even taught her how to dance.

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