disclaimer: Joss and Mutant own these characters (except anyone new)
feedback: yes... first time posting and pretty nevous about it. Need
to hear what you think.
chapter one
A pair of comforting arms wrapped around her, no strings, no
empty promises, just the love from a childhood friend giving her a
sense of security, even if it was meant only for a short time. The
tears flowed down her face like a raging river with no end in sight.
Hopelesness, pain, guilt, fear, shame. She had hurt the ones she
loved the most in her young life. Had, in fact, tried to kill them.
Not only them, but the entire world. She has come a long way sinse
the days of floating pencils, only to be reduced to a blubbering heap
on the ground.
The image of the red haired witch faded until only a swirling
blue pool of water remainded in the scrying pool.
"The girl has such potential, does she not, my friend".
"She does indeed, my Lord". replied the young man.
"We would be a formidable pair with her ruling by my side. In
fact, I would venture to say that we would be unstoppable. Yes, my
friend, she will make an incredable ali."
"It will not be easy to sway her."
After a short pause he replied to the young man
thoughtfully. "Emotion."
"My Lord?"
"Emotion is her weakness." he smiled almost to himself. "She will
join us, do not doubt that, Jirronh."
"But if she does not?" he asked.
"Quite the skeptic aren't you? Do you doubt my powers of
persuation?"
"No, my Lord. I am sorry for making it sound as though I do."
"Do not apologize, Jirronh. It makes you appear weak."
"Yes my Lord." he said quickly. "But there is always the
possibility that she may not chose to join with you."
"Yes, young one, there is. But make no mistake... I will have
her, one form or another."
"I am afraid I do not understand." drawing his brows together.
"She will either rule by my side, or I shall have no alternative
but to take her power and make it my own."
"But, my Lord!! Will that not kill her?"
"You have been with me all this time, my friend, and I see that
you still look at death as an ending. Her essence, the thing that
makes her who she is, will llive in me for all eternity There is no
real death except fot the shell which houses it." he
pauses. "Jirronh, have you never wondered what makes a mortal desire
to, then become a witch.... or worlock?" he asked curiously.
"Truth to tell my Lord, I haven't. I just assumes it was some
sort of fascination in the arts itself."
"No, it does not. These people, they are born with great power.
Of course they do not know this, but it is what draws them. Once they
discover the arts of magicks, they must then learn to harness it to
its fullest.This witch, I have watched her, was drawn to her since
the day of her birth. I knew then as I do now, she is the one I have
been waiting for through out time. Whether in body or spirit, I shall
have her." he said with an assuredness that the young man himself did
not feel.
"It will take time, My Lord. She will resist."
"Possibly.... that remains to be seen. However, I do intend to
have her join me of her own free will. T'would be much more
pleasant... for both of us." his laughter echoed through the torch-
lit chamber as he turned away and walked towards a tunnel, leaving
Jirronh to wonder about the events to come.
~Part: 2~
The tears slowly subsided as did the sound of the sobs that had
earlier wracked her body. Xander's arms still clinging to her, not
yet willing to let go. The only true peace she has ever known, or
will ever know, was with him. He was the only person who; ever really
knew her, how she thought, how she thought, about anything. He was
the only person in the world who could stop her. Not with magick or
strength, but with three small, simple words, I Love You, and with
that the human race survives. She had become the enemy of an entire
planet who were all oblivious to the fact that they were about to
die. All oblivious except fopr five. Five people who had tried to
stop her. Four of them were unsuccessful.
One chose to be by her side when deaths hand came to close around
mankind, but in the end she found that she couldn't do it. Not to
him. She knew the words spoken by him were the truth. If death was
the only option, then he would gladly die as long as he was by her
side. For that she would always love him.
She leaned back and carefully placed a hand gently on Xander's
face, making sure not to touch the deep gashes which she had made.
Closing her eyes, she began whispering a chant to heal her broken
friend. Not sure as to what spell she was casting, Xander's muscles
tensed slightly, waiting in anticipation for the outcome. A tingling
sensation began in the pit of his stomache, making him wary, until
it
changed into a warmth that spread through his entilre body.
The pain began to disapear as the warmth enveloped him. Within
moments the pain was gone, and Willow slumped in exhaustion. Xander
grasped her shoulders and helped her to her feet as, he to, stood.
"Will, where do you think your going?" he asked as Willow tried
to walk away.
"Xander... please, let me go."
"Hey, c'mon. Look at you, you can barely stand let alone go
anywhere by yourself." he replied, still holding her shoulders to
restrain her.
"Ineed to go... need to be alone."
"Will..."
"Please, Xander. I can't face them right now. Just let me go.
Please... don't make me beg." a small sob sob escaped her lips as she
made her request to her life-long friend. The young man stood there,
not quite knowing what to do. 'Should I let her go? In the weakened
condition, would she be alright? Do I run the risk of making her
angry by going with her? Or losing her friendship? What so I do?'
"I'll check on you tonight. At your parents house?"
Willow sighed with relief as she nodded her agreement and gave Xander
a kiss on the cheek.
"Thank you." she said with a slight smile, and turned to walk
unsteadily away.
Xander watched her staggering along, and said under his breath to
himself, "you've got tem minutes girl.... then I follow." and he sat
down and looked at the time on his watch.
~Part: 3~
"Xander, where's Willow?" asked the blonde slayer as she looked
around, eyes settling on the ephigee of Pozapexxa.
"Gone.... she went home."
"What?!" hr head snapped towards him, eues incredulous. "You let
her go? I can't believe you'd just let her take off."
"C'mon, Buff. She didn't want to face anyone. She practically
begged me to let her go."
"You shouldn't have let her go off on her own like this."
"What should I have done, huh? Grabbed her and tied her down like
an animal? Yeah, sure.... great way to piss off a witch!" he lowered
his head and sighed before continuing.... "Look, she only just left.
I was going to give her a ten minute head start before I followed
behind her..... want to come along?"
The slayer nodded and asked, "Which way did she go?" Xander pointed
in the direction Willow had taken as he replied,
"She's headed back towards town to her folks house. She's pretty
weak right now, not walking all that steady. I figure it'll probably
take most of the day for her to get home."
"Well," Buffy said as she turned her head up to look at the
sky, "nice day for a walk. Come on, lets get going."
"Sorry, Buff. She's still got three minutes."
"I don't think three minutes is going to make that much of a
difference right now." she said, rolling her eyes.
"Maybe not to you, but it does to me. Right now Willow trusts me.
Its bad enough knowing I let her wander off, even though its what she
wanted. But I'm going to be following along behind her. It might not
mean anything to you, but I feel like I'm lying to her. She just
wants a little space, and I'm not even giving her that.:
"So what are you saying?"
"We're going to give her those three minutes.... that's what I'm
saying." replied Xander sternly.
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
What was once a deep blue, was now almost black as the sun said
its farewell. Willow looked up and saw the stars twinkling and the
half-moon shining brightly in the sky. Xander was following her, and
so was someone else. Probably Buffy. She had felt they're presence
all day, in fact, felt them behind her not long after she left. She
knew Xander would do this, but she wasn't angry with him, after all,
he was just trying to look out for her. Buffy's motives? A mixture
of
Xander's, and making sure she wasn't up to anything else. Not that
Willow could blame her really. Willow had given all of them a reason
not to trust her.
But for the time being, she didn't really care one way or another
what anyone thought.... she just wanted to go home. Her hands and
knees stained with crimson from falling so many times, to weak to
catch her balance properly.
Willow stopped suddenly. She felt a presence, a familiar one....
but too tired to concentrate, she couldn't dissern who it was.
"Almost home" she thought, "Just about out of the woods." and on
she trudged, trying to pick up the pace a little more.
~Part: 4~
Sleep.... all she wanted to do was sleep in a nice soft bed, and
forget about the occurances of the past few days. Sleep and forget
that this world exists as she escapes, even for a little while, into
some fairy-tail land where everything is filled with joy and
happiness. A time and place where sorrow, pain and grief are things
unheard of-- hold no meaning.
'That would be nice' she thought as the chill from the cool night
air began to sink into her bones. She could still feel two people
following not far behind her, feel a third person somewhere off to
her right.
'Who is it? I should know this person... feels familiar, but
can't place it. Tired... too tired. Need to keep moving.' A rustling
noise sounded to her left, then footsteps running towards her. Willow
tried to run but tripped and fell to the ground with a wince from the
pain as she landed. A hand grabbed her arm and flung her onto her
back, but all she could do was lay there. Exhaustion made her too
weak to cast a spell, and certainly too weak to attempt a fight.
His face only inches away from hers, he smiled displaying the
fangs for her to see.
"You'll make a nice little snack," he hissed "I haven't eaten for
a couple days. You will do nicely until I catch the main course." he
laughed as he grabbed a handful of red hair and yanked her head to
the side, then lowering himself down to her neck. Willow closed her
eyes, awaiting the inevitable, when she began to cough and choke on
the dust of the vampire who had just tried to use her as an
appetizer. She slowly opened her eyes and saw the familiar face of
a
friend she hasn't seen since she told him of Buffy's death.
"Angel." she managed to say as he leaned over and helped the
witch to her feet. "What are you doing here?"
"Cordelia told me that there's been some trouble here. So I came
to help." he replied as Willow cast her eyes to the ground in shame
and embarrasment. She was the reason he was here.... he came to try
and stop her. Her knees buckled under her, but Angel reached out and
caught her, then lifted her into his arms to carry her home.
"Angel, put me down!"
"Willow,you can't even stand. Let me help you."
"I'm warning you.... you can't even begin to understand what I
could do to you." she threatened.
"Yes, I do." He knew exactly what she was capable of since
stopping at the 'Magic Box'. Giles and Anya filled him in on some of
it. "I'll take you home and you can get some rest. Buffy will look
after you." he said, but suddenly Willow tensed in his arms. He
looked down and saw the girl staring up at him wide-eyed.
"Please, Angel. Don't take me over there. I want to go home... my
home. I can't go to Buffy's. Not right now." she pleaded.
"I can't just leave you alone. You need to have somebody with
you."
"Please.... y-you could stay with me. My folks are out of town,
so I have the extra room. Angel," she pleaded, "take me home, I can't
be around anyone right now!"
"Alright," he said thoughtfully, "It goes against my better
judgement to do this, but I'll stay." he said and felt her relax in
his arms. "But only for a couple days. Just until you recover." he
finished and she nodded.
"Angel?"
"Yeah?"
"Don't you ever smile?"
"Don't have to. You always smile enough for everyone."
"Not anymore." Willow said under her breath, forgetting how good
the vampire's hearing is. Angel looked down into her face, but she
had closed her eyes.
~Part: 5~
"Willow... Willow." blinking rappidly, Willow slowly began to
respond to her name. "Willow, the doors locked."
"Oh, yeah..." was all she said as she placed her hand on the
keyhole of the deadbolt. Within seconds a loud clacking sound could
be heard as the bolt slid. Angel grasped the handle and turned the
knob, and the door opened with a gentle push.
"Uh, Willow?"
"Uh huh?" she queried drowsily.
"Could you invite me in? I haven't been inside the housesince you
cast that spell to keep me out when I- when I was Angelus."
"Okay, sure. Come on in Angel." she said as she leaned her head
back against his chest. The vampire carried her across the threshold
and kicked the door shut behind him, then took her upstairs to what
he remembered to be her room. He opened the door and realized he had
guessed right. The room had stayed the same as it was just a few
short years ago.
Angel walked over to the bed and sat her down, then proceeded to
take off her jacket. He tossed the dirty black material onto the
chair in the corner of her room, and gently pushed her back against
the bed, until her head came in contact with the pillows. He then
lifted her legs and placed them on the bed, in an attempt to try and
make her more comfortable. He moved to the end of the bed, untied the
laces and removed her shoes, setting them on the floor against the
wall. Unsure of how to proceed next, Angel stood there pndering for
a
moment, until and idea popped into his head. He quickly moved to the
closet, swung the door open and removed a blanket. Making his way
back to Willow, he unfolded the blanket and covered her with it. He
pushed the end of the blanket up to her waist, and began to undo her
pants.
"Angel?"
"Don't worry, I'll be the perfect gentleman." he replied as
Willow closed her eyes, too tired to care about what he was doing.
Angel pulled the blanket down to her knees and slid his hands
under the blanket to her waist and took hold of the waistband of her
pants, then pulled her pants down until they came off her feet. He
put her pants with the jacket and left the room for a moment. When
he
came back, he took a damp cloth and cleaned the dirt and blood off
the palms of her hands, then her knees. When he had finished, he
rubbed on some antiseptic with a cotton ball in hopes of keeping out
any infection.
"That'll be tender tomorrow." he said. With all that done, he
pulled the blanket down over her feet, and stood there in place,
hardly believing that this was the same girl he had heard about from
Giles. He clicked off the light and turned to leave when he heard a
rustling and the sound of Willow's soft spoken voice.
"Thank you."
"I'll be downstairs if you need me."
"Okay." she replied, and was out cold within seconds.
Angel shook his head and went downstairs. No sooner had he sat down
on the couch, when a knock at the door sounded. He got up and
answered the door, only to see Buffy and Xander standing there
looking almost as tired as Willow was.
"Come on in." said Angel as he gestured the two towards the
livingroom. They came in and followed the tall vampire into the room
and both sank greatfully on to the couch.
"Hey, dead-boy. What brings you to town?" asked Xander as Buffy
elbowed him in the ribs.
"OOOmph... hey!!!"
"Angel, how's Willow?"
"She's fine, Completely exhausted, but she'll be okay once she
gets some rest." he said matter-of-factly. "You guys look as though
you've been trying to race a jet yourselves."
"Yeah, well. Given what's been happening around her lately."
Buffy replied.
"I know some of it. I went to the 'Magic Box' when I got into
town, and Giles and Anya told me a little of what's been going on."
"How'd you know to come to Sunnydale?" Xander piped in. "None of
us exactly had the chance to call... not that we really needed your
help anyway."
"Giles and Anya told me you were the one who managed to calm
Willow down enough to stop her. Congratulations, Xander. You should
be proud of yourself."
"Uh, yeah. Umm, thanks a lot. I am proud...." said Xander a
little dumbfounded at the compliment.
"Anyway," Buffy cut in, "how did you know to come here?"
"Cordelia." he said, Xander and Buffy looked confused.
"Oh, you don't know yet do you? Cordy's a seer. She gets visions
of when people are in trouble. She told me that there was some
trouble here and that it looked like Willow was the cause. So I came
to help." he finished.
"Little late, don't ya think, dead-boy?"
said Xander sarcastically.
"I had to finish a case I was already working on- I came as quick
as I could."
"We know you would have been here sooner if you could. But thanks
for trying to help." and Buffy gave Xander a stern 'keep quiet' look.
"Look, there's nothing you two can do for her right now. She's in
bed, asleep, which is where you guys should be. She's fine."
"I could do with some Z's, I guess." said the slayer while trying
to stifle a yawn.
"Go home, call in a day or two to check in."
"I guess your right. C'mon Xander. Willow's in good hands." All
three stood, then Angel let the way to the door to see them out.
Buffy opened the door then the two friends stepped out, but Buffy
turned to face Angel with a small smile.
"I'm glad your here."
"Me too." he said, and Buffy and Xander left for they're homes.
~Part: 6~
Angel sat down when Buffy and Xander had left, thankful for some
time alone. Buffy's presence had unnerved him a little and left him
somewhat confused. He had expected to feel what he did for her when
she had come to see him. The feeling wasn't love.... at least not the
type he had felt for her a couple of years ago. This was different...
it was more like the love for a good friend, nothing more. He knew
he
and the slayer would have to get together eventually and talk about
this. Knowing Buffy as he did, it would all start off as the same old
pleasantries, but she would bring up her feelings for him at some
point. It would be then that he would have to break her heart... it
was unavoidable.
He wondered if it was because of all the time they had spent
apart, allowing him to move on emotionally. He wasn't sure, but he
was not looking forward to that particular future conversation.
'No sense dwelling on it now' he thought as he reached for the
remote and turned on the television.
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
Buffy walked through the front door and headed towards the
kitchen to make herself a cup of tea to relax with before bed.
"Buffy? Is that you?" came the voice with the British accent from
the livingroom. She stopped what she was doing and headed for the
other room, a look of surprise on her face as her eyes came to rest
on her ex-watcher.
"Giles! What are you doing here?"
"Where else was I going to sleep?" he said smiling. "We... Anya
and myself, brought Dawn home. The poor little thing was exhausted.
I
sent her off to bed, then Anya left for home."
"How are you doing? You look like someone who was kicked out of a
speeding car and dragged along behind." she chuckled, hiding her
concern.
"I look that good?" he laughed, "No, no. I'm fine, really. A
little sore but I will survive."
"Well, given everything that's happened, looks like we will all
survive." she paused, "Would you like some tea? I was just about to
boil the kettle when I came in."
"Oh, yes. Please, I'd love some right about now."
Buffy went to the kitchen and filled the kettle, then turned the
stove on as she placed the kettle on the burner.
"It'll just be a couple minutes." she called out.
"That will be fine." he replied loud enough for her to hear. She
busied herself getting the cups and putting the tea bags in them,
then placing the cups and cream on a serving tray. When she had
finished, a whistling sound had started, letting her know the water
had boiled. She pured the steaming liquid into the cups then set the
kettle onto a cool burner and grabbed the tray. Giles smiled tiredly
as he watched the girl walk in and set the tray oon the table, then
pick up a cup and saucer and hand it to him.
"Thank you." he accepted the tea greatfully, adding some cream to
his, then sipped. "This is glorious. Just what I needed."
"Your welcome. I saw..." she hisitated.
"You saw what? What is it?" inquired Giles.
"I saw Angel... in the woods. He saved her from a vamp, then took
her home."
"Oh, I see."
"Xander and I had kinda followed behind Willow to make sure she
got home alright, but a vampattacked. Before I had the chance to do
anything, he stepped out and saved her. We decided to stay behind
them until he got her home, then we went to the house to see how she
was."
"Yes, well.... he did stop by the store, what's left of it , that
is. I told him some of the details, but there was no time to give him
the whole story."
"Yeah, we didn't have much of a conversation either. He said to
call in a day or two, give everyone a chance to rest up some.
Willow's okay. She was in bed when we got there."
"Well, at least we know that she's in good hands." said Giles
reassuringly.
Buffy nodded in agreement, "I'm still worried about her though.
This is going to be tough on her."
"Yes, it is. She'll have to find a way of coping with it."
"Well, we'll just... all of us, have to let her know that we'll
be there for her."
"Don't forget about what I said before, Buffy."
"What?" she asked.
"There's no guarantee that she'll be the same Willow we all
know." he said matter-of-factly.
"We'll just have to hope and be supportive then, won't we?" she
replied as she knitted her fingers together.
~Part: 7~
Not a single cloud marked the light blue sky as the sun sat high
above the earth, shining its warming rays upon the lush green world.
Birds sang a cheerful little song high above in the trees, and a deer
strolled over to the tiny stream and bent his head to drink from
i;t. 'Its such a beautiful day.' thought Willow as she looked around
at the deer, flowers, and to her friends enjoying they're picnic.
"Hey, Will's... pass me another sandwich,will ya." Buffy said
with a smile. Willow opened the basket and pulled out a sandwich
wrapped in cellophane.
"Is egg salad okay, Buff?"
"Ohhh, I love egg salad... yum." she replied as she reached out
and took the sandwich offered.
"Willow. Could you pass me the thermos? It's getting kinda hot
out here." said Xander, and Willow handed him the thermos of iced tea.
"Xander's right. It is hot, and I'm starting to perspier. I don't
like it... its smelly and sticky." said Anya as she took the thermos
from Xander.
Willow turned and looked at Tara, smiling as she admired the
blonde's fair complexion, then her ruby coloured lips.
"What are you staring at?" she asked shyly.
"You." replied Willow, "This is how I want us to be, forever."
Tara looked deeply into her eyes, leaned forward and placed a gentle
kiss on Willow's lips. "Forever." repeated Tara.
"Willow... its too hot. You must do something about the heat."
The red head turned to face the vengence demon.
"Wha...?"
"Willow, Anya's right. Stop raising the temperature. Maybe you
can take it, but Dawn's ready to pass oout."
"But, Buffy.... I-I'm not..."
"Yes, Willow. Do stop." said Giles as he removed his glasses and
began wiping his face with a hankerchief. "I don't think we can take
much more of this."
"But, I don't feel anything. Its not hot... really." she was
confused, wasn't sure what to think since everything felt the same
as
it did moments earlier.
"Willow...." she looked to Tara, "you really should stop this."
"Tara, I'm not doing anything. Wha...what's happening?"
"You know what's happening."
"No, I don't. I really don't." horror filled her as she looked
around at everyone. Melting, like wax near a flame. All those faces
she once recognized as her friends, now disfigured. Flesh ran and
dripped off each individual.
"You have to stop this now!" screamed Dawn. Willow turned back to
Tara, confusion mixed with fear as she saw that the love of her life
had not changed.
"What's going on, Tara? Why are they melting?"
"Don't you realize how hot its getting?"
"But your fine. Your okay."
"The heat can't hurt me."
"Help me...please!"
"I'm sorry, but its up to you. I can't help you."
"But why?"
"Because I wasn't here for this."
"Tara, what do you mean? Please help me!" anguish in her voice.
"All you have to do is stop. Or do you want to destroy
everything?" she said. Willow looked around and saw what remained of
her friends. Nothing but charred skeletons where each person sat
minutes before, happily. She looked in the direction of the deer, but
saw only blackened bones with smoke rising from them. The trees no
longer full of leaves, or birds singging songs of joy. Even the grass
disappeared, leaving only blackened soil. Her eyes widened as she
looked back at Tara, seeing her love lying there on the ground. Her
sightless eyes staring up at the now grey sky, as Willow caught sight
of Tara's shirt, stained crimson from where the bullit had exited her
chest.
"Oh, Tara!!!" Willow choked out as she went to the body, lifted
the blonde's head and gently placed it on her lap.
"Noooooooooooo!!!!!"
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
He tried watching television, but there was nothing on that
appealed to him. Instead, he had found a deck of cards, but after two
hours of playing Solitair, he found he just couldn't play
anymore. 'This is going to be a very long night.' Angel thought, and
settled back against the couch. 'I guess some sleep wouldn't hurt.
Haven't had much of a chance lately.' He decided to head upstairs...
the other bed would probably be a lot more comfortable than the
couch. He paused by Willow's room to check on her, and heard her
moaning softly in her sleep. 'Doesn't sound like a very good dream.'
And he went to the next room and stretched out on the large bed. He
was only there for a couple of minutes when a blood-curtling scream
erupted from Willow's room.
Angel leaped off the bed and raced into the red heads room. Shock
and horror filled her face as he got to her and cradled her in his
arms, gently rocking her back and forth.
"My fault... all my fault."
"Shhh, Willow. Everythings okay." he said soothingly.
"It's all my fault, I did it. My fault." and sobbing overcame her.
~Part: 8~
Angel let the red head cry as he held her close, hoping in some
small way that it might comfort her. He was unsure of what to do
next, since comforting people was not his area of expertease.
"Shhh. Its okay, I'm here. I'm not planning on going anywhere."
Seeing her this way tugged at his heart strings. Willow was always
happy, always had a smile for everyone. He was finding it hard to
believe that the Willow he has known all these years, is the same
person that tried to wreak destruction on an entire planet and all
of
its inhabitants. He was still in awe of the entire ordeal, and wished
he could talk to the others to learn more of what happened. He didn't
get much of a chance to talk to Giles, and Buffy and Xander looked
ready to drop to the ground and sleep for a week.
Willow shifted in his arms which brought his thoughts back to the
present. She sat back wiping her eyes, all the while rufusing to meet
his gaze.
"Are you okay now?" he asked, not knowing what else to say. She
nodded but said nothing, still keeping her eyes down.
"Can I get you anything? Some water?"
"No." she replied.
"Willow, you've got to help me out here. What can I do?"
"There's nothing you can do."
"You know, I'm trying to help and I'm failing misserably. Your
killing me here, and that's a pretty neat trick since I'm already
dead." he said, hoping to get at least a smile out of her. He was
rewarded as she looked up at him; and the coners of her mouth turned
upwards.
* * * * * * * * * * * *
A short time later Willow was calm and started to relax. Angel
grabbed a couple pillows and leaned them against the wall at the head
of the bed, which she then leaned her back against them and sat there
watching Angel as he sat by her feet at the side of the bed.
"Bad dream, I take it." it was a statement.
"You have no idea." she replied.
"Try me."
"I'd rather not. I'd kinda like to forget it if possible."
"Well then. How about telling me what's been happening around
here? I've been a little out of the loop this last while."
"I'd like to forget about that too." she said quickly.
"Come on, Willow. If you don't tell me, then there are five
others who will. Frankly, I'd like to hear your side of things first."
"I-I don't know."
"If your worried about me passing judgement.... don't be."
"How much do you know?"
"Not much. Cordelia's visions are just quick flashes. She
couldn't really see what was happening to clearly, except that you
seemed to be the one causing the.... trouble."
"Some.... yeah."
"When I got to town I went straight to the 'Magic Box'. figuring
Buffy wouldn't be home. Giles had said that you absorbed some pretty
potent dark magick, but that the danger was over."
"Yup, that's me. Dangerous."
"Talk to me, Willow."
"If your sure you want to hear about it."
"I do."
~Part: 9~
Angel sat there, just staring as Willow told her horrifying tale
of revenge and murder. Murder... the thought of Willow taking
someone's life was almost enough to make him ill. But two people. She
had murdered two human beings in the midst of a blinding fury, and
with that, Angel was left dumbfounded. This was totally
uncharacteristic of the Willow he has known for so many years.
Only once had he ever seen the red head without any semblance of
compassion, evil to the core. But, as with everyone else, it was easy
to say 'Willow would never be like that. Not our Willow.' It was easy
for people to believe such things when they were staring into the
face of a vampire who was only in this dimension because of an
accident with a spell. People could make themselves believe anything
if they put they're minds to it.
"So, you have no real magick left?"
"Actually, I do."
"But, I thought you said..." he trailed off.
"The coven did take some of my powers, but because it was dark
magick, they couldn't extract all of it. I have as much power as I
had before I absorbed all those books.... and more. But they did
magically put a block in my mind so that I wouldn't remember any of
the incantations from those books."
"Why didn't the coven take all of your magick?"
"You can't comprehend just how many books there were. And I
absorbed every one of them from cover to cover. No mortal has ever
had that much power, and that's on top of the power I already had.
They could only take so much 'Dark Magick', the rest was left and a
block put up to keep me from it."
"Wow." Angel said in total astonishment.
"Yup, that's me... evil at heart." she said bitterly.
"Willow, you are the farthest thing from evil, and trust me....
I've seen lots of it."
"Angel, you don't seem to be 'grasping the concept' here with
this one... I tried to burn the world to a cinder, tried to kill my
best friends, and succeeded in killing two people. And all the while
that I was on the war path, I was trying to kill two more. Those
weren't demons or vampires, they were living, breathing human beings."
"Can I ask you a question? Its kind of personal." he said after a
pause.
"Uh, I guess. What?" she asked curiously.
"You consider me to be a friend, right?"
"Of course I do. What kind of question is that?"
"Why, then, do you consider me a friend? Why do you like me?"
"Huh??"
"Humour me, please. I'm curious."
"Well, for one thing, your a vampire but you don't kill people
for food."
"Neither does Spike." he responded.
"Yeah, true. But with him its not by choice."
"Is that all?"
"Well, no. I like you because deep down in your unbeating heart,
you care about people, and try to help them. You've never treated me
badly, like a geek like Cordelia did. You've always made me feel like
a person, and worth something." she finished.
"And did you not do the same for me? You treated me with nothing
but kindness from the day we met. Even after you found out what I am.
When I became Angelus, it was you who restored my soul. And when I
came back from the hell dimension, you didn't change the way you
treated me. You have been my friend through all of that, to the point
where, at times... I felt human."
"Really??" surprise in her voice.
"Really." he confirmed, "I know what evil is... I was evil. And
I'm telling you, you don't have an evil bone in your body."
"But, I..." but Angel cut her off before she could argue.
"Listen to me. Angelus killed because he liked it. Not just for
food... but for pleasure. He didn't regret a single moment of it...
in fact, he relished it. That's evil. Yes, you said that at the time
you did enjoy it... but what you did was fueled by anger and revenge.
Most humans would react badly, and you no different in that respect.
You just happened to have the power to take your revenge to the
extreme."
"I... I guess so."
"Why do you think Buffy kills demons and vampires, and is always
tring to save the world? Why does she do it?" he asked.
"Because she's the slayer, the 'Chosen One'."
"That's right. To her, this is her job. She has been doing this
because that is what she's supposed to do. You helped her for six
years. And why? Because you care. You want to make a difference. You
want Sunnydale to be safe. And the reason is because you have a good
heart. Willow, you are one of the kindest people I've ever known. You
made a mistake, everyone does. But don't let what happened change who
you are."
Willow leaned forward and gave Angel a tight hug as she whispered
in his ear, "Thank you."
"I tried to destroy everything not so many years ago. I know the
guilt your feeling... I live with it everyday. Believe me, I
understand only too well what your going through."
~Part: 10~
"Hi, Angel. Can I come in?"
"Sure." he responded, and gestured towards the livingroom. Buffy
sat down on the couch and immediatly noticed all the curtains closed,
keeping out any trace that it was mid-afternoon.
"Your looking better."
"Yeah. Nothing like sixteen hours of beauty sleep to make a girl
feel better." she laughed. "So, how's Willow today?"
"She's still asleep."
"Still?"
"Yeah, well... she didn't sleep much at first lastnight.
Nightmares."
"Oh. Pretty nasty, I take it?" she asked curiously.
"Seemed like it. She wouldn't tell me about it, and I wasn't
going to pressure her into telling me."
"Things have been so crazy around here. You wouldn't believe it."
"Well, actually. Willow told me what happened."
"Oh, well... guess that saves me some 'filling you in' time then."
"You know, Buffy, she feels bad about everything. She's not
putting the blame anywhere except on herself."
"I know, I don't doubt that for a second. It's just that... she
really crossed the line and I'm not sure how to deal with that yet.
I
didn't exactly have the chance to think about that while I was trying
to stop her. And now, well, I still don't know what to do." she
finished.
"Why don't you just try being her friend. If your positions were
reversed, do you think she'd forget about you? I don't think that she
would."
"Whoa, okay okay. I see your point." she paused, "so, did you
have a nice trip? The drive here I mean."
"It was fine."
"I was so surprised to see you last night."
"I wanted to help if I could... but it seems that I arrived when
all the excitement was over." he said.
"I'm glad your here. I-I've missed you... a lot."
The moment he was dreading had finally come, as he knew it would. He
looked into her eyes, seeing that she was expecting him to feel the
same for her as he used to.
"You know, Buffy, I hadn't realized how much I've missed being in
Sunnydale until I drove in last night. Its nice to see familiar
surroundings. I must admit, its nice to see everyone again... even
Xander." he replied, hoping that would put off the inevitable. Buffy
gave him a slight frown.
"Angel, I... uh. I'm sure everyone's missed you too." she
hesitated. "Maybe we could go out on patrol together tonight. Kinda
like old times. Its been a while since you climbed up to my bedroom
window."
"Buffy, we have to talk. There's no scence putting it off any
longer.'
"About what?"
"About us.... our feelings for each other."
"Um, okay." she said nervously. "What is it that you want to say?"
"Look, I'm not sure how to say this without hurting you, but..."
"Is there someone else? Are you seeing somebody?"
"No, no, nothing like that at all. Now, please, hear me out. My
feelings for you have changed, its not the same as it was before. I
still love you..." the slayer cut him off before he could finish.
"If you still love me, then what's the problem?"
"I don't love you the way you want me too. I'm sorry, Buffy. I
guess all that time we spent apart... maybe."
"But, Angel... I can't believe this. I still love you... need
you!" she exclaimed.
"I'm trying to be honest. We can never have a real relationship,
my curse has made sure of that. My life is now in L.A. I have a
detective agency and good friends that I work with. Your life is
here. Everything you need is here."
"Not everything." she said as tears slid down her cheeks.
"Buffy, you can't want and love me when its convenient for you."
"Pardon me?! What exactly are you trying to say?"
"Remember a couple of years back when the Indian Spirits were the
current problem? I saw you at gile's house... with Riley. It looked
to me like you two were more than just friends."
"That's none of your business! That's private!"
"I also notice that your not with him anymore either. I also know
about you and Spike."
"How di... Willow!!"
"No, not Willow. I passed a vampire on the way to Xander and
Willow. He said that the rumor going around is 'Spike's bangin the
Slayer', and since your the only slayer in this town. I did take it
as only a rumor, but you just confirmed that it was true. Love isn't
a game, Buffy. You can't turn your feelings on and off, or change
players when you get tired of them. Its a game for teenagers, not
adults. If I hadn't shown up last night, you would never have given
me a second thought."
"I can't believe your saying this to me!" anger ran through her
body, causing her to shake slightly from trying to restrain it some.
"I didn't want to hurt you Buffy. But I couldn't lie about my
feelings either. I'm only in town for a few days, just to make sure
Willow's going to be alright. After that I'll be heading back to L.A."
"Fine! Go back to your big city, and your wonderful job, and your
wonderful friends! Why wait a couple of days? Why not leave tonight?
Willow has enough friends around her to help!" she yelled as she
jumped to her feet.
"Like it or not, I'm one of Willow's friends and she wants me
here."
"Believe it or not, she doesn't need you. She has all of us."
"Buffy, your behaving like a child, and a spoiled one at that.
Its time you grew up and topped acting like a six year-old."
"I don't know why I ever loved you! Have a nice trip home." she
said as she left the house, leaving behind only the echo of the door
slamming shut.