Rating- pg13
Warning- angst abounds
Pairing: Spike/Angel
Summery: what if Spike and not Darla had found Angel the night he was ensouled?
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Angel groaned in his sleep. Spike watched him with concern and put down the book he was reading and took off his half moon glasses. He snuggled down into the man's chest and whispered. "Sire, it's a dream. Come back to me." Angel's dead body was sweating, an amazing feet. "Great, You didn't drink enough and now you're sick. Soon you'll be like those famine children just not half so funny." Angel didn't stir. "Angel?" he asked with an edge of fear.
Suddenly Angel vaulted upright and bit deeply into Spike's neck. He drank deep for two whole minutes. The blood was being pulled as if by a vacuum out of Spike's veins; he could feel them collapse in on themselves. Fumbled blindly on the bedside table he found one of the bottles and drank in time with Angel. As he finished he threw the bottle aside, heard it shatter, and grabbed a new one. He stroked the back of Angel's head as he drank. He could feel the man's tears pouring down his shoulder. The man's demon had won over the soul. Slowly Spike rocked him back and forth like a child as they both drank.
He pulled back and was done as quickly as he had started. "I'm sorry, I'm so sorry, I'm sorry." He said as he started to pull away from his childe.
"There is nothing to be sorry for, Sire. You do what you need to survive, I don't care. I want you to be ok, that's the most important thing. I'm ok, I'm not hurt. I told you that you could before. Anyway you're my sire: it's your right."
"It's not a right! I'm not your sire! I'm just the guy who made the girl who made you!" he said angrily and instantly regretted it upon see the hurt in Spike's eyes.
"You are my sire! Whether you like it or not- you made me. And maybe that makes you sick, but you can't disown me." He said his words filled with low malice covering pain.
"That's not what I meant, William-" he started but Spike interrupted him.
"Don't call me that, only my SIRE calls me that. I'm Spike to you." He said near tears.
Angel roughly dragged the boy to his chest, "William." Said he softly, "William," he repeated with menace instantly causing his childe to look up in fear expecting an Angelus-esqu punishment. "I didn't mean to disown you, all I meant is that you aren't just my childe. You're better than that, you're my equal. I love you." He ended slowly.
"What?" asked Spike shocked by the revelation. His sire owned him, cared for him, lorded him, but never, "You love me?"
"With all my heart." He said. "I love you. I always have. . . that's why I hated you so much, I've never loved anyone. And as a vampire. . . well it's too fucking human. I love you William." He finished as he plundered his Childe's mouth.
The kiss was filled with gentle, innocent need and love. Spike held to the larger man with all his might afraid that he might awake at any moment to find himself alone in bed. "I promise you I will find some way to make you happy, to make you be able to go from day to day overwrote with guilt. I will make you feel the pain less."
Angel pulled the boy closer still to him, "Just your being here makes it more bearable. Can this work? Where are we going to go?" he asked more rhetorically that literally.
"Don't you usually field these questions?" he said with a sad smile. "But I do know that we need to make haste in leaving the country come sunset. We need to leave before Darla finds us. She'll kill you, you know she will. And I like my Angel dust free." He said cupping Angel's head.
~~~*~~~
At sunset they rose, fed, and left the city as quickly as possible. They were on the next passenger boat out of the country and at sunrise they were sound asleep in a master suit about the St. Elizabeth.