The True Face of Love

Author: MarieC

Rating: M

Pairing: A/S

Spoilers: ATS Season 5; very general time-line post-Destiny then AU

Disclaimers: I do not own these characters.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  

~Part: 1~

Spike still absently touched his chest on occasion since he had recorporialized a few weeks prior.  He had to prove to himself that he was really whole again.  He had spent his first night partying with Charlie Boy, who had graciously accepted his invitation to celebrate with him.  The two had developed a budding friendship.  Spike was happy he had been able to finally give Fred the hug she deserved for never giving up on him.  Despite the constant jabs at his fellow Englishman, Spike and Wesley were developing a certain rapport with each other as well.  Lorne and Spike?  The two easily bonded over music and Hollywood gossip.  For the first time, Spike felt like he could belong somewhere; like he was really part of a team.

Despite this, his heart was often heavy.  After his victory over Angel, the dark vampire had kept his distance from his Grandchilde. Spike hoped that the two souled vampires could start anew. Unfortunately, years of rivalry and jealousy tarnished any possibility of this.  Spike was willing to try; but every signal Angel emitted showed his disdain for the blond vampire.  The two simply fell into old patterns as they attempted to work together.

*

A Monday Morning: Wolfram and Hart Offices

"What are you doing in my office, Spike?"  Angel roared at Spike as he flew into his office obviously in a bad mood.  Spike jumped up from the couch; he wanted to cover the fact that he had slept there during the weekend.

"Nothing, you stupid ponce.  Just annoying you as usual."  Spike smirked.  "So, what's on the agenda today for the corporate puppet? Planning any audits?  Trying to figure out what Mutual Fund works best for you?"  He chuckled to himself when he saw the grimace on Angel's face.

"Why do you care, Spike?"  Angel glared back.  "In fact, why are you even here?  You've got your body back.  Why don't you get the hell out of here?"

For a moment Spike's grin fell from his face as his eyes widened with anger at Angel's words.  Before he had a chance to respond, Wesley walked in.

"Good morning, Angel."  The Ex-Watcher nodded at Spike as well.  "I'm afraid there is a problem.  It seems that some runaway teens are disappearing in this section of Los Angeles."  He pointed to a small grid on a map he placed on Angel's desk.  "No bodies are surfacing."

Spike walked closer to Angel and Wesley.  "Vampires?  The blond asked as he placed his hands on his hips.

"Perhaps."  Wesley replied.  "I do believe we should investigate."

"I agree, Wes."  Angel said as he sat down.

"Good."  He added.  "You and Spike could look into this tonight as I continue to search for other clues to the whereabouts of these children."  Wesley said as he walked towards the door.

Angel stood and scowled as he saw Spike smirk.  "I guess it's you and me again, Pops.  'S like Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid...Donny and Marie...BJ and the B..."

"Whatever, Spike.  Get out of my office.  Be back at sundown."  Angel grabbed hold of Spike and led him to the door.  He shoved the smaller vampire out and slammed the door behind him.

"Hey!"  Spike yelled to the retreating figure behind the glass. "Stupid, fuckin' pillock!"  Spike straightened his collar.  He sighed as he bowed his head for a moment and then went toward the lab to visit Fred.

*

At sundown, Spike sauntered into Angel's office.  He found his Grandsire watching his big screen TV.

Without taking his eyes off of the hockey game, Angel said, "You're late."

"I was in accounting playing poker."  Spike responded as he fished a cigarette from his duster and lit it.

"Whatever, let's get going.  I have things to do."  The dark vampire scowled at Spike as he placed his coat on and headed for the elevator.

The two walked silently down to the garage and Spike followed as Angel walked towards the Viper.  "So predictable."  Spike chuckled as he mumbled.  Angel chose to ignore the comment as he turned the key and the engine roared to life.

As the two rode to their destination in an uncomfortable silence, Spike slowly turned his head slightly towards Angel.  After all these years, Spike still had to admit to himself how attractive his Grandsire truly was.  He resembled a Greek god, so strong and regal appearing.

Spike's thoughts drifted to the twenty years he spent with his family prior to Angelus' curse.  The blond vampire worshiped Angelus.  He was truly his mentor; his Yoda.  Drusilla turned him; but Spike secretly looked upon the dark vampire as his true Sire.  Everything Spike did was in an attempt to impress Angelus.   He changed from William to the Spike persona in order to gain attention.  And it worked.  Angelus doted on the blue eyed boy with a penchant for hurting people by driving railroad spikes through his victims' heads.   Spike reveled in the attention paid to him.  The two hunted together, tortured together, and bedded their women together.   During this time, Spike harbored deeper feelings for Angelus.  The blond vampire yearned to be touched as Angelus touched Darla or Drusilla.  Spike kept his feelings a secret.  His desires were clearly not reciprocated as Angelus became more cruel throughout the years.  Spike would purposefully incite Angelus' rage to receive any sort of attention: positive or negative.

Spike closed his eyes as he shuddered at the realization of how twisted his actions were.  After his resurrection, the thought of starting over in LA was not too appealing.  But, he was tied to the city of Angels.  Perhaps he and Angel could forge a new friendship now that they were the only two vampires with souls in existence. History, though, tends to repeat itself.  The past always comes into play.  They each continued to harbor their resentments against the other: Sunnydale, Buffy, and the Gem of Amarra to name a few.  So, they bickered and verbally sparred until it all came to the forefront in the fight over the Cup of Perpetual Torment.  Hateful, hurtful words were exchanged during the Battle that saw Spike as the victor. Spike was possessed with the need to show Angel that he mattered. That is why he fought so hard.  He wanted to earn Angels' respect.  He convinced himself that was all he wanted from Angel.

The dark vampire felt Spike's stare as he navigated down the streets. He turned to him.  "What?"  Angel asked in the annoyed voice that was reserved only for Spike.

"Um.  Nothing."  Spike eyes dropped to his lap as he slowly turned away.

Angel, for a moment, wanted to ask Spike what was wrong.  He had noticed such sadness in Spike's eyes.  Something held Angel back. There were times that he wanted to stop the fighting between the two; but he did not know how.  No one in his life or unlife had ever been able to affect him like his Grandchilde.  This fact had always upset the dark vampire.

As Angelus, he found it disconcerting that he cared for the blue eyed former poet.  William was the perfect companion to fight and hunt with.  Angelus wanted to further his relationship with Spike, but he had never been with another man before.  Despite the fact that they were soulless demons, they adhered to some of the supposed morals of the Victorian times. And more importantly, he did not dare incur the wrath of Darla.  Many a night, Darla beat Angelus for spending too much time with the blond vampire.  Darla detested the attention her Childe paid to 'Drusilla's pathetic poet fledge'.  Her constant berating led Angelus to unleash his frustrations upon Spike.  Emotions and caring portrayed weakness to Angelus.  And he would have none of it.

Angel sighed as he pulled his car off the road as they reached their destination.  Each vampire padded their pockets for a weapons check as they walked towards the seemingly abandoned building.

The scent of human blood flooded their noses as soon as they stepped into the building.  Angel motioned Spike to go to the left and he went in the opposite direction.  Spike slowly reached into his pocket to procure a stake as he shifted into gameface.  Suddenly from all directions, Angel and Spike were attacked by at least fifteen vampires.  They worked in concert to easily dust the majority of the vamps.  Most of them were young fledges whom did not realize they were fighting two Master vampires.

Spike roared as he dusted the last one in his area.  As the dust settled on his clothing, he turned to watch Angel easily dispatch the last two near him.  Suddenly, Spike noted a vampire creeping from behind a pillar sneaking up on Angel.  The dark vampire was so intent on his fight that he did not realize there was a threat behind him. The Fledge raised a piece of wood that he picked up from the ground as he stalked towards Angel.

"Angel!"  Spike shouted as he began running and flew in the air to land behind him.  The stake meant for Angel pierced Spike's arm. "Ahh!"  Spike yelled as the wood settled in his right shoulder.  "You stupid ponce!"  He added as he tore the piece from his appendage. Spike backhanded the vampire easily and proceeded to dust him.

Angel watched the whole display.  He turned to Spike.  "You okay?"

"Yeah."  Spike said panting.  "The git tore my fuckin' coat!"

Angel smiled.  "You'll live.  Come on.  Let's have a quick look around and then get out of here."  Spike nodded in agreement.

*

The two vampires returned to Wolfram and Hart thirty minutes later. Before Angel pulled into the garage, Spike's voice pierced the silence.

"Look, just let me off here."  Spike said quietly as Angel rolled the car to a standstill.

"Why?"  Angel asked.

"Gonna go get a drink.  'M a bit wired after that fight."  Spike proceeded to open the door and step out.

"Is that all you do is drink?"  Angel said with some disdain in his voice.

Spike leaned his head back down into the car.  He answered bitterly. "You know me...guess some things never change, 'ey mate?"  He was about to close the door when Angel spoke.

"Um, well, look Spike.  Thanks for back there."  Angel shifted his eyes down for a second as he looked into Spike's blue eyes.  "You know...staking that vamp."

Spike raised his eyebrow for a moment.  This was new territory: Angel thanking him.  "Yeah, well.  Didn't want to explain to your crew why their Big Boss was all dusty."  Spike slammed the door shut and Angel pulled away.  Spike chastised himself briefly.  'Such a big fuckin' mouth you have, Spike.  Always gettin' you in trouble.'  Spike shook his head and started down the street.  After walking about a quarter mile, he decided to turn back and go talk to Angel.

*

Angel parked his Viper and glanced at his watch as walked towards the elevator.  He did not know what to think of his Grandchilde.  One minute they are fighting to the death over a cup; the next, Spike took a stake for him.  He noticed the surprised look in Spike's azure eyes when Angel thanked him.  Angel almost saw the bright innocence of William portrayed for a moment, then it was replaced immediately with classic Spike.  Angel nearly asked Spike where he stayed at night but did not want to give any advantage over to the blond vampire.  Spike was probably right; some things just never change.

Angel removed his jacket as he sauntered into his office.  He sighed as he looked at his watch again.  His head turned to the door as it opened.

"Angel."  The quiet voice said as the figure walked up to him and embraced him.

"Hi, Nina."  Angel replied with a half smile and stiffened a bit when Nina proceeded to kiss him.

*

As Spike exited the elevator, he had decided to see if Angel wanted to share a drink with him.  He was throwing caution to the wind.  He resigned to wave a white flag and try to start and maintain a civil conversation with his Grandsire and see where it could lead.  Spike smiled as he neared Angel's office but stopped as he saw two figures through the glass window.  He saw Angel kissing Nina.  His undead heart sank and his shoulders slumped as he witnessed the two in a lover's embrace.  Spike watched briefly and then slowly turned away. As he exited the building, he felt a chill in the air.  He wrapped his duster more snuggly around himself and walked into the night.

*

Angel gently grasped Nina's shoulders and drew her away from him.  She grinned brightly as she looked into Angel's eyes.

"I know I'm early, but I couldn't wait to see you."  Nina said as Angel smiled.  "Did you have a big fight?"  She asked as she gestured towards his facial bruising.

"No bigger than usual."  Angel answered as he walked to his desk and began to straighten his papers.  "Sorry, I didn't have a chance to finish up."

"No problem."  Nina replied happily.  "I can wait."  Clearly in this position before, Nina proceeded to grab Angel's remote and turned on the TV as she sat on the plush maroon couch.

Angel silently worked for twenty more minutes and attempted to ignore the occasional glance Nina threw his way.

"Come on, baby."  Nina whined.  "Can't you take care of that stuff in the morning?  I don't want to be late to the concert."

Angel looked up briefly.  "Maybe you should take your sister."

Nina's eyes narrowed.  "What's going on, Angel?  You've been acting weird for weeks.  I didn't want to say anything.  I thought that you were just overworked."

"I am overworked, Nina."  He stood as she approached his desk.

"Look, are you having second thoughts...about us?"  She asked as her eyes watered.  "Is there someone else?"

"No, gods, no, Nina.  There isn't anyone else."  He decided he needed to be truthful with her.  "Look, my life is really complicated right now."  He hesitated.  "I don't want to hurt you, Nina.  But, I don't have time to be in a relationship right now...It's not you."

"So, that's it?"  She raised her voice.  "You've decided."  Angel nodded his head. "When were you planning on telling me?"

"Tonight."  There was sadness in Angel's eyes.  He did not want to hurt her.

"Great.  Just great."  Nina shook her head and chuckled bitterly. "Fine, I'll leave."  She grabbed her coat and purse and went towards the door.

"Nina, I'm sorry."  Angel looked at her.  "Please, if you want to still come monthly during your change, the facility is still available to you."

Nina turned to face him.  In her heart, she knew the two did not have a future.  Even when they were together, he seemed so far away.  She half smiled.  "Thanks."  She paused.  "See you around."  She waited until the elevator doors closed for the tears to fall.

*

"Won't be needin' a glass, mate.  I'll pay for the whole bloody bottle."  Spike yelled to the bartender through the smoke over the loud music.  The blond vampire stopped at the first bar he had passed after leaving Wolfram and Hart.  He threw the money on the bar and walked over to a booth in the corner.  Spike stared at the bottle of Jack as he plopped down.  "Well, ol' friend.  How've you been?"  He took his first swig and reveled in the burn as the drink slid down his throat.  It felt so good just to feel again.

Spike spent the next hour partaking in three whole bottles.  He was truly drunk.  "Stupid ponce with his perfect gelled hair."  He said as his speech slurred.  He wanted to continue drinking so he could forget Angel.  Yet, there did not seem to be enough alcohol to dull the ache in his chest.  His eyes fluttered as he attempted to stay awake.  His head bobbed up and down as he tried to focus on where he was. Suddenly he heard something.

"Well, well, William.  Fancy running into you here."

Spike's head jerked toward the voice and his eyes squinted and then widened when he saw who was standing beside him.

"Heard you died."  Spike sputtered out.

"I did.  But, I guess it didn't last."  The voice chuckled.

"Bugger off...don't need no company."  Spike raised the bottle to his mouth and took another drink.

"You look like you need someone to talk to."

"Get away from me, you stupid bint."

"Is that anyway to talk to an old friend, William?"

Spike smirked.  "Oh, we're old friends now?  Funny, didn't get the memo, Cecily."

"Now, William.  You know the name's Halfrek."

~Part: 2~

Halfrek flipped her hair and sat down opposite Spike.   "I heard you died too, William."

"The name's Spike."  The blond vampire countered with menace in his voice.  He snorted and then added.   "Yeah, my death didn' last either."  Spike laughed as he hiccuped.

"So, what happened to you?"  The brunette asked with genuine interest.

"Ladies first."  Spike gestured lazily towards Halfrek.

"Well, after Anyanka died, I guess D'Hoffryn had a change of heart. He brought me back into the fold."  She answered in a cheery voice.

Spike sat up a bit.  "Anya died?"  He bowed and shook his head. "Didn' know.  She was a good bird, she was.  Bet the Whelp didn' take it too well."

"Despite what you think, I do miss her."  The two sat in silence for a time.  "What about you, William?"

"Well?  Burnt up savin' the soddin' world.  Came back in a bloody amulet.  Played like Casper for a bit.  Now, I'm back.  End of story." He took a large swig of whiskey.

"You don't seem too happy."  Halfrek added.

"Since when do you give a shit how I am?"

"Anyanka was my friend.  And she was very fond of you.  So, I do care."

"Piss off, Cec-Halfrek.  'M trying for alcohol poisoning here. Y-you're ruinin' my c-concentration."  Spike said as tried to focus on the myriad of empty bottles in front of him.

"Who broke your delicate heart this time, William?"  Halfrek asked.

"Wot?  Wot do you know of it?  Jus' want to get pissed thas' all!" Spike placed his head in his hands.

"Is it the Slayer?  Anyanka told me of your love affair with the Chosen One."  She chuckled.  "Sounded ill-fated to me; but she insisted that Buffy loved you."

Spike looked directly at Halfrek with cold eyes.  "She didn' love me. Might have been fond of me, maybe.  But, not love.  Never love."  He whispered the last line.   He bowed his head.

"Oh, my poor William.  You have always worn your heart on your sleeve."  She paused.  "If you must know, I felt a bit horrible at what happened between us."

"Yeah, I guess I never thanked you for that, you bitch."

"Now, now.  Isn't your life better as a vampire then it was?  My life certainly improved when I became a Vengeance Demon."

"Whatever...we done sharin'?"  Spike spanned the room for another waitress.

"If not the Slayer, then who?"  Halfrek crossed her hands in front of her.

He bowed his head.  "Doesn' matter.  Won't never happen."  Spike answered with such sadness that his eyes watered.

"Come on, Sweetie.  Why don't you tell me?  It might make you feel better."  Halfrek smiled sweetly.

The blond vampire stared at the brunette for some time.  "What the hell?"  He looked down and decided to say it out loud.  Holding his feelings in was killing him.  "Me Grandsire."

Halfrek was silent for a moment.  "Angelus?"  She asked and Spike nodded.

"He never sees the real me, ya know?  Doesn' see what's right in front of him.  Never has.  Only pays attention to blond chits: his bitch of a Sire, Buffy, Dog-Girl.  He'll sacrifice and fight for them.  Always them.  Never me."  A tear escaped his eye.

"Do you wish that..."  Halfrek started as she fondled the gold and black pendant around her neck.

"I bet he didn' even know that I died until I came back in his bloody office."  Spike's voice rose.  "Used to have a blood link, but after he got his Soul, the bastard cut it."  Spike continued rambling.  "I fought for my Soul!  And he said I just try to steal his thunder. Didn' matter to him."  Spike shook his head in disbelief.  "It's never enough."  Spike sighed. And half smiled.   "Still so pathetic, ey?"

"Why do you want to be with him?"  Halfrek asked.

"The heart cannot help whom it loves."  Spike said quietly in his native high brow accent; for a moment he seemed totally sober.  After some time he added.  "Bet it be easier as a chit!"  Spike and Halfrek laughed heartily at his joke.

Halfrek leaned towards Spike.  "You could wish it."  She said seriously.

Spike leaned back and almost fell out of the booth.  "Are you nutters? Why the fuck would I want to do that?  You're out of your bloody mind!"

"Okay, okay!"  Halfrek placed her hands in the air.  "It was just a suggestion.  Just trying to help."

"And how is me being sans dick supposed to help?"  Spike's face was red with anger.  His eyes were bright yellow.

"No big, William.  No need to go all grrr on me."  Halfrek smiled.

"Yeah, well."  Spike snorted.  "This conversation is over.  See ya around, whatever you call yourself now."  Spike waved her off and turned his attention back to his bottle.

"You can call me Hallie.  Well, William."  Halfrek stood up.  "Always a pleasure."  She slowly walked away.

"Stupid bitch."  Spike shook his head and chuckled.  "Yeah, I wish I was a chit."  Spike laughed bitterly. "Like I'd ever want that.  A nightmare, that'd be!"  He hiccuped and dropped his head onto the table.  He suddenly was very tired.

As Halfrek walked out of the bar, she smiled as her demon visage came to the fore.  She whispered in a deep voice, "Wish granted."

~Part: 3~

Spike stumbled away from the bar after practically passing out at the table.  His eyes were blurry as he attempted to get his bearings.  He doubted he could get back to Wolfram and Hart before dawn.  He turned his head and saw a small motel called The Regal and entered.  He unsteadily walked up to the front desk.

A small, bald portly man leaned back as the scent of Spike wafted towards his nose.  "May I help you, sir?"

"How much for a single?"  Spike slurred as he swayed a bit.

"Seventy-nine dollars."  The man forced a smile upon his face.

"Fine.  Here you go."  Spike unceremoniously dropped some money on the desk.  "Keep the change."

"Well, here you go.  Room 102.  First floor."

"Which way?"  Spike turned in all directions.

"To your left."  He handed the key to Spike.  "Why don't I show you?" He came from behind his perch and started down the dark hall.  After a short time, they reached their destination.  "Here you go."  He said as he opened the room for Spike and handed the key back to the inebriated vampire.

"Check out is noon."  With that, he departed.

Spike immediately closed the curtains and then fell onto the bed and passed out.

*

'Oooooooh.  My bloody head.'  Spike thought as he awoke the next day. He was lying face first on a bed still in his clothes and his duster. His mind was immediately confused as he attempted to get his bearings.  'Where am I' he thought again as he struggled to sit up. He barely made it as he felt the entire room spinning.  He slowly opened his eyes as the dizziness passed.  He began scratching his stomach and his hand traveled down to scratch his crotch.  He was stunned when he didn't feel his morning erection.

"Oh gods!"  Spike screamed as he looked down at his body.  He noticed breasts and suddenly long dirty blond hair fell in his face. "Shit...what's goin' on?!"  Her petite hand flew to her throat as she continued panicking.  "My voice...oh gods!"  Spike started hyperventilating as she started pacing around the room. "How...w-what...last night...okay got pissin' drunk..."  She started replaying in her mind her time in the bar.  "Talked to someone...Cecily...Halfrek...OH MY GOD!!"  Spike screamed as she stopped pacing.  "That bitch!"  She yelled as she picked up a small vase on the nightstand and threw it against the wall.  "B-but...I didn't wish...did I...just a joke...how could she do this?"  For a moment, Spike's eyes watered but then the anger returned.  "When I find her, I'll suck her bloody eyeballs out through a straw, I'll break her fuckin' neck...I'll..."  She started hyperventilating again as her eyes slowly surveyed her new body.  She had small breasts and her hips were a bit wider than before.  She was extremely petite and very toned.  Spike's trademark tight black t-shirt and even tighter black jeans were now swimming in her thin form.   Her hair was dirty blond, wavy and just passed her shoulders.

"Calm down, Spike."  She said to herself as she looked up. "Relax...think..."  Spike started pacing again.  "Oh!"  The high pitched voice exclaimed as she pushed back the sleeve of her jacket and dug into her duster pocket.  She checked the time on her cell and dialed quickly.

After two rings a voice on the other line answered.  "Wolfram and Hart Science Department.  How may I direct your call?"

She cleared her throat.  "Winifred Burkle, please."  She attempted to sound official.

"One moment, please."  There was silence.

Spike whispered, "Please be there, Fred.  Please."  Spike's hand began to shake.

"This is Fred."

Spike closed her eyes briefly as she let out a sigh of relief.  "Fred?"

"May I ask who this is?"

"Fred.  Listen to me.  This is Spike."  The blond vampire paused. 'Please believe me.' She thought.

"Is this some sort of joke?"  Fred answered.

"Please don't hang up, pet.  I'm beggin' you!  Somethings happened to me and I need your help."  Spike clutched the phone tightly as she awaited an answer.

Fred chuckled.  "Is this a prank?  Did Spike put you up to this?"

"Fred, no.  It's not a joke.  It is me.  Spike.  I know my voice sounds different."

"Prove it."

Spike looked up for a moment and then spoke.  "You were the only one to really help me when I was a ghostie.  Remember, I pushed Pavayne into a big circle so he wouldn't kill you?"  She closed her eyes as she heard silence on the other line.

"Oh my gosh...Spike?  What happened?"

"Can you come pick me up, pet?"

"Sure.  Where are you?"

Spike glanced at the stationary on the end table.  "The Regal.  22 State Street.  I'll wait for you in the lobby.  I owe you one, Science Girl!"

"No problem.  Sit tight.  I'll be there soon.  Bye."

"Bye, luv."  Spike hit the end button on her cell and sighed in relief.

*

Spike stood from the lobby sofa when she saw Fred running through the door holding a black blanket.

"Oh my gosh, Spike!"  Fred said as she rushed up to the blond and gave her a hug.  "Wow.  You're a...well..."  Fred stood back in some shock.

"I know, luv.  You can say it.  I'm a bleedin' chit."  Spike said with a strain in her voice.

Fred stepped closer to the blond vampire and touched her hair and looked her over.  "Well, you're pretty!"  Fred giggled.

"Quit it!"  Spike scowled as she looked around. "Can we get out of here?  That bloke over there," Spike pointed to the corner, "has been starin' at me for 10 minutes."  She graciously took the blanket offered to her and placed it over her head.  Fred ventured outside prior to Spike and then opened the door to the awaiting limo.  Spike hurriedly ran into the car.

"Thanks for the blanket, pet."  Spike smiled as they settled into their seats.

Suddenly the divider in front of them was lowered.  A voice said, "Where to Ms. Burkle?"

"Back to the offices, Bradley."

"NO!!"  Spike shouted.

"Why, Spike?"

She shook her head and looked scared.  "Don't want anyone to see me like this yet.  Please?"  Her eyes pleaded with her friend.

"Okay."  Fred answered with concern in her voice.  "Please go to my apartment, Bradley."  She paused.  "Now, why don't you tell me what happened."  Fred smiled warmly as she turned her attention back to Spike.

*

As the two walked into Fred's apartment, the slim brunette pleaded with Spike.  "We really should go back to Wolfram and Hart and try to help you Spike."  She said as she threw her purse onto her sofa.

"I know what's happened to me, pet.  I just have to figure out a way to reverse it, s'all."  Spike tone was exhausted as she plopped down on a chair.

"What will I tell the others?"

"Nothin'."  She watched Fred open her mouth to respond.  Spike pushed her long hair away.  "I mean it.  Everyone is so caught up in their departments that it'll take a while to notice.  Hell, Angel'll probably not notice."  She said with some sadness in her voice.

"Now, that's not true, Spike."  Fred said sympathetically.

"You're a bloody pathetic liar."  Spike managed to smile.

Fred returned her smile and stood up and gestured to Spike to follow her.  She quickly showed the blond vampiress the layout of her spacious apartment.  "And finally, here's the bathroom.  Feel free to shower..."  She paused.  "No offense, but you smell like a distillery."

"Yeah, appreciate that, luv!"  Spike pouted but then chuckled at her friend.

"I'm going back to the office.  I'll bring you some blood when I come back.  You can use any of my clothes, if you'd like."  Fred suddenly giggled.  Spike raised her still scarred eyebrow.  "You get to go shopping!"  She paused.  "Too bad Cordy isn't with us anymore."  Her voice saddened.  "She would have been the perfect person to take you shopping for a new wardrobe. "

Spike smiled.  She knew how important Cordelia was to them here in LA. "We'll manage, okay Fred?  Probably won't need many things since I'll turn back real soon."

"Yeah.  Anyway, I better go.  If you need anything, call me.  See you later!"  Fred waved as she left the apartment.

Spike stood in the middle of the apartment and looked around her.  She smelled the air.  "Yep.  Shower it is."  She said to herself as she walked slowly to the bathroom.

*

Angel's office door was thrown open and Fred scurried in.  "Sorry I'm late!"  She said while panting as she took her seat at the conference room table with her colleagues.  She wiped her brow of sweat.

"Are you alright, Fred?"  Wesley asked.

"I'm fine."  She answered as she smiled at her boyfriend.  "I had to run back to my apartment and I lost track of time."  She turned to the others.

Angel stood from his chair and held up his agenda for the day's meeting.  "Okay, everyone's here.  If we're ready..."

"Wait."  Gunn interrupted.  "Where's Blondie?"

Lorne added.  "I haven't seen him roaming the halls today."  The Green Demon turned to Fred.  "Have you seen him, Freddles?"

"No."  She said as she lowered her head.

Angel scowled.  "We don't need him to have our meeting.  Alright? Let's continue."

*

Later that afternoon, Fred sat in her office in the Science Department.  She glanced at her watch.  She was meeting Harmony in twenty minutes to obtain blood for Spike.  She told Angel's secretary that she needed the blood for experiments in her lab.  Her phone suddenly rang.

"Hello?"

"Fred?"  The high pitched voice said.

"How are you, Spike?"

"Peachy.  Look, can you do me a favor?"

"Sure."

"You think you could borrow one of Percy's book?  You know the one that can be any book?"

"I don't know, Spike.  What would I tell him?"

"Come on, pet.  Jus' use your feminine charms on the ol' boy.  You're shaggin' him after all."

"Spike!"  Fred exclaimed.

"Come on, Fred.  He's so pussy whipped over you, he'll do whatever you ask."

"You have such a mouth, Spike."

"I know, pet.  So, can ya?"

"I'll do what I can."

"Ta!  See ya later."

"Alright."  Fred shook her head and laughed as she placed the phone back down on the receiver.  She decided to go visit Wesley.

*

"Come in."  Wesley said in response to the knock on his office door.

"You busy?"  Fred asked as she sauntered in.

"I am never too busy for you."  Wesley answered with a large grin on his face.  He stood up and walked over to his love and gathered her in his arms and kissed her deeply.

"Wow."  Fred said as she attempted to catch her breath.  "What was that for?"  She said with a large smile on her face.

"No reason.  I just love seeing you."  He kissed her nose then walked back to his desk.  "Are you finishing up for the day?"

"Yep, but I've got tons of work to do at home."  She said as she sat on his couch.

"Anything I can help with?"  Wesley asked as he straightened up his papers.

"I don't think so.  It's all about quantum physics, properties and such."

"Yes, a bit out of my area of expertise."  The Englishman admitted.

"W-what would help is if I could take one of the codex books home. Y-you know, so I don't need to lug my heavy science books home with me."  She looked away for a moment as she lied.  She knew she was never too convincing.

"Of course, Darling.  Whatever you need."  He walked around his desk and handed her the book as she stood.

"You're the best boyfriend ever!"  Fred said as she kissed his cheek.

"I aim to please."  Wesley answered.

"I'll call you later tonight.  Okay?"

"Of course."  Wesley nodded as she walked out the door.

Fred paused for a second as she brought the book to her chest and said quietly.  "You better appreciate this, Spike!"

*

Harmony placed a few pints of animal blood on the counter in Fred's lab.

"Thanks, Harmony."

"No problem, Fred.  See you tomorrow."  The ditsy blond vampiress answered as she proceeded to walk out of the lab.

"Hi, Bossy!"  She exclaimed cheerfully as she passed Angel who was on his way to talk to Fred.

Angel walked up to Fred.  "Hey, I wanted to talk to you about those taser guns you're developing."

Fred seemed distracted, especially when Angel eyed the blood on the counter.

"Um, what?"  She said.

"You okay, Fred?"

"Fine, Angel.  A-About those guns.  I need a little more time for analysis."  She said nervously.

"Sure.  Take your time."  The dark vampire placed his hands in his pockets and eyed her suspiciously for a moment.   "Well, I'll see you tomorrow."

"Uh-uh.  Tomorrow."  She let out a big sigh of relief as she watched Angel go.  She just wanted to get back to her apartment.

*

Fred and Spike sat at the the kitchen table.

"Thanks for bringing the blood and the book."  The blond vampire said with a smile.

"No problem; although I'm not a very good liar."  She said as she sighed.

"I'll teach ya."  Spike smirked as she shook her eyebrows.  Fred laughed.  "I think I know what I need to do to get this nightmare reversed.  I'll do it the morning.  So, don't worry that pretty little head off, pet.  I won't make you lie for me for too long."

"Good.  Because they asked where you were at the meeting."  She said as she sipped her tea.

"Who they?"

"Gunn, Lorne, Wes."

"Ah."  She said quietly trying to hide her disappointment that Angel did not notice her absence.

"Well, 'M a bit knackered"  Spike said as she stood.  "I really appreciate everything, Fred.  Really."

"I know, Spike."  She smiled back.  "Hey, I'm glad my clothes fit you."  She said as she noted the pair of sweats Spike wore.

"Yeah, good thing you 'ad black. No way am I wearin' bloody pastels!" Spike chuckled as she waved goodnight to Fred and went to the guest room.

*

Spike waited until Fred left the next morning before using the book. She took a big breath.  She changed back into her clothes and placed the book on the coffee table.  She held the musty text close to her mouth and said, "Halfrek,   Vengeance Demon."  She slowly opened the text and watched the words appear on the page.  She read for some time and then decided she was ready.

In her high pitched voice she began.  "Halfrek, I beseech thee.  In the name of all people scorned, come before me."  At first nothing happened and then suddenly Halfrek appeared.

"William!  How are you?"  She asked cheerily.

"Are you kiddin'?  How do you think I am?"  Spike's blue turned icy. "I never wished this!  Turn me back!"

"Now, William.  You did wish it.  I heard you clearly."  She smiled.

"That was sarcasm.  Didn't you hear what I said after?"  Spike's eyes watered.

Halfrek walked around the room surveying the apartment.  "Alas, the words were said."

"But how is it vengeance?  The only person hurt is me!?"

Halfrek stopped by the hallway mirror to primp her hair.  "This could be a good thing for you.  See what can happen.  It might be quite freeing."

"You said Anya was fond of me.  She wouldn't want this.  She'd tell you to change me back."

"You can't expect me to change the rules, Spike.  In order for that to happen, I would have to take vengeance upon someone else.  Would you want that?"

Spike wanted to answer yes; but her soul could not agree to it. "Damn, Soul."  She muttered to herself.

"Try it on for awhile, William.  You never know.  You might like it. "

"I doubt that."  Spike answered dejectedly as she sat on the couch.

"Toodles!"  Halfrek said as she waved her arms in the air and disappeared.

*

The Fang Gang congregated outside Angel's office after the morning meeting.

Lorne said, "Any sign of Spike, guys?"

Everyone shook their heads.  Angel exited his office.  Wesley stopped him.  "Angel, have you seen Spike this morning?"

Angel looked at them.  "You mean he hasn't shown up yet?"  The dark vampire actually sounded concerned.

"When did you last see him?"  Gunn asked.

Angel scratched his chin.  "After we took care of the vamp nest two nights ago, I dropped him off in front of the building and he went to a bar."

"Perhaps, we should send out a search party."  Wesley added.

Fred started to panic.  "I'm sure Spike is fine, guys.  Maybe he needed a bit of a break?"  She said weakly.

As the men discussed how best to use the resources of Wolfram and Hart to find Spike, Harmony walked up to the group.  "Hey guys.  Fred, did you need anymore blood?  I wasn't sure if I gave you enough yesterday. What did you need it for, anyway?"

Fred's face turned red as all eyes turned upon her.

"What's going on, Fred?"  Angel asked.

"Alright! Alright!  Spike's not missing.  He's at my apartment.  He needed my help and he doesn't want to come to the office."  She said as she walked back into Angel's office followed by the men.

*

"What do you mean a woman?"  Gunn said as he attempted to repress a smile.

"Charles, don't laugh."  Fred implored.

"Let me get this straight Fredikins.  Our delectable male blond vampire is now a delectable female blond vampire?  Oh,"  Lorne rubbed his hands together, "this premise  would make a great TV pilot."  All eyes fell upon the Green Demon.  "Sorry.  Go on, Pumpkin."

"Spike's really mad and I think a little scared; although he-she would never admit it."

"Is that why you borrowed the codex book?"  Wesley asked her.

Fred nodded.  "She said she could use the book to find a reversal." The room fell silent for a time.

"So,"  Gunn interjected, "Is she hot?"  He smiled as he started laughing.  The whole group with the exception of Angel joined in.

"Charles."  Fred tried to scowl at the lawyer but soon giggled. "Okay, she's really pretty.  I mean her blue eyes are even more colorful than before, her cheekbones are more defined but her face is softer.  And she's really petite...kind of my size.  And her hair is long and wavy...still blond but not bleached looking.  And don't tell Spike I told you any of that."

Finally Angel spoke.  "This is unbelievable.  How could a demon turn Spike into a girl?  It seems too far fetched."

"As far fetched as you becoming a puppet, Angel?"  Fred asked.

"Point taken."  Angel paused.  "Where is he...she?"

"At my apartment."

"Good.  I'll go get Spike."

Fred stood and walked over to Angel's desk.  "She'll never come, Angel.  She didn't want anyone to see her."

"Well, we'd help her better if she was here.  I'll talk to him."

"Her."  Gunn said as he chuckled.

"I'll see you guys later."  Angel said as he went towards the elevator.

*

Spike had not moved since Halfrek left.  She sat lost, not knowing what else to do.  Her head turned as she heard a knock on the door. She sighed as she forced herself to stand.  "Did ya forget your keys, luv?"  Spike said as she opened the door and her mouth dropped open as she saw her Grandsire standing in the doorway.

"What do you want?"  Spike practically yelled as she turned from the door and walked back into the apartment.

Angel stood at the threshold, not because he needed an invitation, but he was so shocked by Spike's appearance.

"Take a picture.  It'll last longer, Peaches."  Spike said as she crossed her arms.

"Um.  Sorry, Spike."  Angel said as he came towards the blond vampire.

"I see Fred spilled the beans."  Spike said as she looked down.  For some reason she could not look Angel in the eye.  "Go ahead.  Have a good laugh at ol' Spike.  Tell me how much of a fuckwit I am and all that rot."  She turned her head away.

"How did this happen?"  Angel asked as she saw Spike sit on the couch.

"Doesn't matter."  Spike said sadly.  "What do you want?"  She tried to muster some anger in her voice.  Unfortunately,  she felt exhausted.

"You should come back to Wolfram and Hart.  Everyone is worried about you."

"Right."  Spike snorted.  "Like you give a shit."

Angel ignored Spike's tirades.  "You don't want to disappoint Fred, do you?  And besides, if you want to feed, the blood is back at the office."

Spike sighed and stood up.  She mumbled, "Bloody bastard," as she followed Angel to his car.

*

As they walked towards Angel's office, Spike's nerves began to increase.  She could sense her friends were in there and she did not want to confront them.

She decided to put on her Big Bad persona.  As she walked in, she stared at her friends immediately.  All eyes were fixed on her now female form.  "Right, Gents.  Gawk all ya like.  Come on.  Get it over with."

"Wow, Spike."  Gunn chuckled a bit.

"Great, Charlie Boy.  Finished?"  Spike frowned.

"Well, at least you're not an ugly chick."  Gunn continued.

"Gee, thanks.  That's so comforting."

"Well, at least you still have that wonderful positive attitude." Lorne added with a smile.

"Fag off, Green Jeans."

Wesley interjected.  "It will simply take us some time to adjust to seeing you like this, Spike."

"Try adjusting to waking up without your dick, Percy."  Spike glared and then took an unneeded breath.  "Look, I just want everyone to get their ha-ha's out, alright?"

"What happened, Spike?"  Angel asked.

Spike rolled her eyes and relayed the story to the whole group.  After finishing, Wesley asked.  "And you tried to have this Halfrek reverse it?"

Spike nodded.  "Can't be done that way.  Someone would have to be cursed or whatever to reverse it.  And I can't risk that."  Spike's eyes were sad.  Angel watched her very closely.

"Look, I have a headache.  Can we talk about this later?  I'll figure somethin' out."  Spike tried to smile.

"Why doesn't everyone get back to work, okay?"  Angel said.  The group left the office.  Only Angel and Spike were left.  The dark vampire walked over to couch that Spike was on.  She sat hunched over with her head in her hands.

"Look, Spike.  We'll all help.  I'll help.  You won't be alone in this."  Angel sat next to Spike.

Her head shot up and then abruptly stood.  "You can stop with the fake sympathy, Angel.  Your pets aren't here to see."

"What?  What are you talking about, Spike?"  Angel walked over to Spike.  Traditionally,  there was at least one head difference in their heights, but now Angel towered over her.  "Why do you always have to be so difficult?  You are such a brat!"  Angel yelled.  "I just told you I was going to help you.  Gods, you are so ungrateful!"

"UNGRATEFUL?!"  Spike was seething.  "Am I supposed to kiss your fuckin' feet because the Great Angelus has decided to help lil' ol' me?  You are so self centered!"  She took a large breath.  "I'm supposed to be grateful that, for once, you have decided to help me?" Her blue eyes watered.

"For once?"  Angel asked confused.

"I didn't see you givin' a shit about me when I was all ghost-like, did I?  As I recall, you told Fred it was a waste of time!"  She stared directly at her Grandsire and this time, it was Angel who looked away.

"And in Sunnydale?  Did you help me when I was butchered by the Inititative and sat in the Watcher's home starvin' at Thanksgiving? You were there to help Precious Buffy, but not me.  I was chained in a BATHTUB for weeks, SIRE!  Did you know that?"

Angel's chocolate brown eyes were filled with sadness.  "Spike, I..."

"I sat in a wheelchair, crippled.  You did nothing to help me get better.  You ridiculed me, tortured me, and stole Dru from me. Remember?"  Spike's eyes turned cold.  "I've survived one hundred years without your help! So don't pretend that all of a sudden you care!"  Spike was losing her grip.  As if the weight of the last five or six years finally caught with Spike, suddenly she could not help it.  The tears began to fall as she sat on the couch sobbing.

Through the tears, she said, "'M such an unlucky bloke.  I didn't ask for this."  She whispered as she wiped the tears from her face.  "'M so tired."

"I know, Spike."  Angel answered quietly.  He was not sure what to say to his distraught Grandchilde.  He felt shame and guilt as he looked upon Spike.  The blond vampire had endured many  things since they parted one hundred years ago.  But, he knew the blond vampire was strong.  If anyone could adapt, it was Spike.  Angel vowed to help her, even if she pushed him away.  He had a lot to make up for.  He did not feel this only because of guilt; he wanted to change their volatile relationship.  He hoped this was possible.  Yet, he knew it would be a long road.

"Spike?"  Angel quietly spoke.  He was mesmerized when she turned her head towards him.  He bright blue eyes stared at him.

Angel hesitated.  "Why don't you lay down upstairs.  I have a guest bedroom.  And I can heat up some blood."

Spike must have been exhausted because she nodded her head and didn't fight him.  The two silently walked to the elevator.  They stood on opposite sides of the elevator as they rode up to Angel's penthouse. When they arrived, Angel directed Spike towards the guest room.  Spike stood at the doorway for a moment.  Then she strode towards the king size bed.  She looked small, dwarfed by her now too large clothes as she let her duster fall to the floor.  She turned down the bed and buried herself under the covers.  Her back faced the doorway, and she sighed as she fell asleep.  Angel stood watching.  He shut the light and slowly closed the door.

~Part: 4~

Spike slowly awoke the next morning.  She lay in the large bed, staring at the ceiling,  surrounded by a large white fluffy down comforter.  She contemplated whether or not to even leave the confines of Angel's guest bedroom.  Unfortunately her growling stomach easily made the decision for her.  She sighed as she forced herself to walk to the kitchen.  She frowned when she noticed Angel sitting at the table reading the paper.

Angel slowly looked up.  He nearly smiled as he noted the bed hair of his now female Grandchilde.  "I just warmed this up, Spike."  Angel said as he handed a mug of blood over to her.

Spike nodded her head as she sat down on the opposite end and began sipping the contents.

Angel felt the awkward silence.  "Well, look.  Spike.  I thought I could send my personal shopper up later to take some measurements so he can choose you some properly fitting clothes for you."  Angel tried to smile.

Spike took another sip of her blood before turning her cold eyes towards him.  "Gee, will the corporate perks never end?"

Angel stood and walked to the counter.  "Fine.  If you want to walk around looking like you're playing dress up in someone else's clothes be my guest."  Angel looked intently at Spike awaiting an answer.  She simply scowled and looked down at her mug.  "That's what I thought. I'll send him up at noon.  After that, I guess I'll see you later in the office."

Spike mumbled something under her breath.

"What did you say?"  Even Angel's enhanced vampire hearing strained to hear what Spike said.

Spike looked annoyed.  "I said...'M not going down to the office!"

"Why not?"

"Jus' not, thas' all."  Spike pouted and marched back to her room and slammed the door shut.

Angel chuckled and then shook his head.  He went towards the elevator and went down to his office.

*

Spike sat on the couch watching the big screen TV.  She realized there was a perk to staying in Angel's place: 300 channels in Hi-Definition and Tivo.

The blond vampire was enjoying a great action movie when suddenly she heard a knock on the door.  "Who the fuck is there?"  Spike mumbled quietly as she walked towards the noise.  "Yeah?" Spike said as she opened the door.  There was a tall, older gentleman holding a leather bag.

"Ms. Spike, I presume?"  The gentleman asked.  "I am Porter.  Mr. Angel's personal shopper.  I was told to be here at noon to assist a young woman with a new wardrobe."  He paused as he noted the disheveled hair and loose, slightly dirty clothes of Spike.  "I presume that is you."

"Whatever."  Spike answered as she stepped aside and allowed Porter to enter.

"Where would you like me to take your measurements, ma'am?"

"Ma'am?  The name's Spike.  Only Spike.  Not Ms.  Okay, Peter?"  The blond vampire frowned.

"Porter."

"Whatever."  Spike gestured to the TV area.

Porter placed his bag on the coffee table and brought out a measuring tape.  "Okay.  Let's get started."  He said as he placed his glasses on.

"Yeah and make it quick."

"Yes, ma'...I mean Spike."  Porter felt nervous as Spike eyed him but nevertheless worked quickly.  He wrote down her measurements and then sat on the couch.  After a few minutes, he looked up.  "Well, I see I need to obtain clothes in sizes 2 to 4.  Do you need undergarments?" Spike raised her eyebrows.  "Bras, panties?"

"Panties?"  Spike's head dropped to her hands and she shook her head. 'This is not happening.'  Spike thought to herself.

"Yes, well.  I will get you some.  For clothes, what colors do you prefer?  Pinks, greens, purples?"

"Oi!  No freakin' colors.  Get black, black, and more black.  Got it?" Spike squinted her clear blue eyes as she pushed her long hair away form her face.  "And another thing.  No skirts, dresses, or any other of that frilly chick shit, alright?"

"Sure.  Um."  He said hesitantly.  "Do you enjoy leather?"  He relaxed a bit when Spike smiled.  "Lots. Of. Leather."  He said as he wrote down on his pad and paper.  He leaned forward and brought a shoe measure out of his bag and placed it on the floor.  He gestured for Spike to place a foot in the contraption.  He noted the size and cleared his throat.  "Well, I do believe I am finished here.  I will send a deliveryman here later with some items."  He gathered his things and walked towards the door.  "If you have any needs, Mr. Angel can contact me. "  He forced a smile and left.

"Stupid ponce!"  Spike said after closing the door.

*

Later that evening, Angel returned to the penthouse and found Spike sprawled out on the couch watching the television.

"Must say mate, your telly is great!"  She said enthusiastically as Angel walked into the room.

"I don't use it much."  Angel responded as he slipped his jacket off and threw it on the smaller chair.  "Have you fed yet?"  He asked.

"Nope."  Spike said without taking her eyes off the TV.  "Could you bring me some?"  She turned and smiled innocently at Angel and then returned her attention to her program.

From the kitchen, Angel said, "Did you have to be so hard on Porter, Spike?  He came down to my office pretty flustered after meeting with you."  He heard Spike chuckle from the other room.  He returned to the sitting room with two mugs, handed one to Spike, and sat on the opposite couch.  "Did they deliver the clothes?"  Spike nodded and kept watching TV, completely ignoring her Grandsire.

Suddenly, the TV was turned off.  "Hey!"  Spike yelled.  "I was watchin' that you berk!"

"I was trying to have a conversation here, Spike."  Angel said with a look of annoyance on his face.

"'M sorry, didn't realize we were friends now."  Spike replied sarcastically as she rolled her eyes;  she proceeded to sit up and stare at Angel.  "Well, since you've decided we're best buds, what do you want to talk about, Master?"  She smirked.

Angel sat silent.  "Uh!  Forget it!"  He said as he stormed out of the room.

"'S what I thought, poofter."  Spike wanted to pat herself on the back for that little victory.  She grabbed the remote and continued to watch her program.  

*

"Angel, you have to do something!"  Fred said to the group as they sat in their afternoon meeting.  It had been one week, and Spike still had not emerged from the penthouse.

"I can't force her to come out!"  Angel responded as he threw his hands in the air.

"How hard have you tried?"  Fred asked with accusing eyes as she placed her hands on her hips.

"When did I become the bad guy?"  Angel asked in an exasperated tone.

Lorne spoke up.  "Freddles, why don't you and I go have a chat with Blondie Bear?  Maybe we could convince her to come down."  He smiled.

"Sure, let's go."    The two walked over to the elevator.

"Hold up, guys."  Angel started after them.  "Take my key.  She may not open the door for you."

*

"Spike?"  Fred asked as she opened the door to the penthouse.

"Blondie Bear?"   Lorne followed behind her.

"What do you want?"  Spike said from her spot on the couch.  She was not in the mood for visitors.

"We wanted to talk to you, Spike."  Fred began as the two found seats. "We're concerned about you.  No one's going to laugh at you, if that's what you're worried about."

"Yeah, O' Blond One."  Lorne added.  "I know you're still upset, but you really should come out of the penthouse.  Things could be a lot worse."  He continued talking quickly before Spike had a chance to respond.  "I had a friend who was cursed and had a bunch of disgusting pussy boils all over his body."  Lorne leaned back as he saw Spike scowl.  "Look, I know it's not easy waking up like this, but one thing is for sure.  You're ABSOLUTELY gorgeous, honey!  I bet I could put you to work in the modeling division."  He paused.  "Um, do vampires show up on film?"

"Lorne!"  Fred frowned at the Green Demon.  "What he-we are saying Spike is that we'll help turn you back, but you need to come out." Spike lowered her head.

"Hey, I have an idea!"  Lorne interjected.  "Why don't we go out?  A friend of mine just opened a mixed demon/human restaurant.  I bet you could get some great O-neg there!"  Lorne grinned.  "We should go. We'll turn that frown upside down, baby!"

"If you tell me when life hands you a lemon, you make lemonade, I will rip your throat out."  Spike responded.

"Come on, Spike."  Fred pleaded.  "You need some fresh air."  She stood.  "I'll help you get ready."  She looked at the state Spike was in.  "Um, do you have any clothes?  And maybe you might want to shower so we can tame that hair.  "  She chuckled lightly.

"Fine, Science Girl; Green Jeans."  The blond vampire sighed.  "Do what you want.  'M not gonna fight you."  She stood dejectedly as Fred lead her to the bathroom.

~Part: 5~

Lorne went down to the offices while he was waiting for Fred to help Spike get ready.  He walked back into Angel's office where he found Angel, Gunn, and Wesley discussing a case.

Gunn looked up.  "How'd it go?"

"Grand success, mi amigos!  We convinced Spike to let us take her out. We'll have drinks and a little food; hence, we can cheer up our little depressed cream puff."  He smiled widely.  "Everyone in?"

"Sure, man."  Gunn replied.  "I could use a drink after preparing these briefs all day."

"Is Fred going?"  Wesley asked without lifting his head out of his book.

"Of course."  Lorne responded.

"Well, then, I will accompany the group."

"That leaves our fearless leader.  What do you say, Big Guy?"  Lorne turned to Angel and smiled.

"No."  Angel curtly replied.

"Oh Broody One, it would be good to go out and socialize once in a while."  Lorne practically pouted.  "We work very hard, everyday, straddling that ever expanding ethical line and it gets stressful."

Angel looked up at the group and started feeling a little guilty.  He sighed and relented.  "Fine.  When are we leaving?"

"Right now."  Fred said as she walked in the office with a scowling Spike.

Angel's jaw nearly dropped as he saw her.  Her long, wavy hair hung neatly over her shoulders.  She wore a tight fitting black cotton t-shirt and form fitting black leather pants that hung low on her hips.  On her feet she had combat-like boots but they were more feminine than her old Doc Martens.  She slipped on a three-quarter length black leather duster.  She still had that dangerous Spike look about her but she was definitely all woman.  And a stunning one at that.  Angel always considered William good looking; becoming a woman certainly had not changed that.

"Pumpkin, you look marvelous!"  Lorne gushed as he walked towards Spike.

"Whatever.  Let's get this over with."  She sneered.

Fred turned to the group.  "I told Spike she would feel better once we get to the restaurant."  She smiled.

"Don't patronize me, Beanpole."  Spike replied although she had a smile on her face.

"Could say the same to you, Spike!"  She laughed.

"Touché."

Gunn replaced the phone onto the receiver.  "Okay, people.  Let's move out.  A company car is waiting for us downstairs."  He walked over to Spike.  "Hey good lookin'."  Gunn joked as he shook his eyebrows and wrapped his arm around Spike.

"Oi, hands off!"  Spike shook his arm off.  She joined the others as they walked towards the elevator.  The two vampires brought up the rear.  "Wow, how'd they get you to go out?"  Spike asked her Grandsire with a shocked look on her face.

"Guilt."  Angel said as he turned to Spike.

"Figures."

"You?"

"Same."  Spike paused.

"Damn Soul."  The two vampires uttered at the same time.  Before entering the elevator, the two looked at each the other and smiled.

*

When the Fang Gang arrived at the restaurant, they were immediately given entry because of Lorne's connections.

"Lorne!"  A voice yelled as the group turned.  A middle aged man in an expensive suit practically ran up to them.

"Yogin!"  Lorne replied as the two air kissed.  "These are my co-workers."

"I am pleased to meet any friends of Lorne."  The tall, handsome, olive skinned man answered.   "Give me a few minutes while I prepare a great table for you all."

The group nodded in appreciation.

After a few minutes, he returned.  "This way, please."

Fred turned to Spike and noted how miserable she looked.  "Hey, Spike."  She said as she looped her arm through the blond vampire's and leaned towards her ear.  "Why don't we go to the bar to get a drink before going to the table."

"Ta, pet."  She answered as Fred led the way.  The two females stood at the bar awaiting the bartender.  Spike stood silent and then spoke. "It's hard, luv.  Can't jus' act like everythin's normal.  You know?" Fred smiled sympathetically.

Spike felt a hand brush her shoulder.  She jumped and started to swing, but then stopped abruptly.

"Whoa!  Hold on a minute."  A tall, tan, dark haired man with a beautiful smile held his hands in the air.

"Well, serves you right!  You touched me."  Spike looked up at the man with squinting eyes.  She was so startled that she nearly vamped out.

"Sorry.  Really."  He flashed his pearly white teeth.  "I just wanted to get your attention."  He looked down for a moment.  "I didn't mean to startle you."

"What do you want?"  Spike asked slightly annoyed.

"Well, my buddy and I were wondering if we could buy you and your friend drinks?"  He gestured to his equally gorgeous friend.  They looked similar except Clark was a blond.

Spike was stunned for a second and looked at Fred who was shaking her no.  The blond vampire was about to bite this guy's head off, but instead looked back at the man.

"Sure, why not."  Spike smiled evilly.  She wasn't stupid enough to refuse a free drink.

"What'll be, um..."  He raised his eyebrows as he waited for her name.

Spike thought for a moment.  The first name that popped into her head was her mum.  "I'm Anne.  And this is Winifred.  But people call 'er Fred."

"Pleased to meet you."  He offered his hand to both women.  "Anne. Fred.  I'm Jason.  This is Clark."

"Hi."  Fred finally spoke.

"So, ladies."  Spike subtly rolled her eyes.  "What'll be?"

"Jack 'n coke."  Spike answered and turned to Fred who was looking at Spike with wide eyes.  Spike motioned for Fred to answer.

"Um.  Cosmopolitan.  Thanks.  B-But you don't really need to buy us anything.  Our friends are in the back waiting for us."  She felt a slight pain in her shin as Spike kicked her lightly.

"That's okay."  Clark replied.  "One drink won't hurt."

Fred had a strained smile as she looked over at Spike who shrugged her shoulders and laughed.

Jason returned after a few minutes and handed the women their drinks. "Here you go.  One Cosmo and one jack and coke.  That's a strong drink for such a little lady."

"You'd be surprised how much I can handle."  Spike smirked.  "'M from England and even the women there can drink you American boys under the table."  She shook her eyebrows.

Jason chuckled at the bravado of such a tiny girl.  "How do you figure?"

Spike retorted.  "You frat boys guzzle that shit you call American beer.  Really it's jus' pisswater.  Now European beer?  That'll put hair on ya chest."  Spike flirted with the boy.  She was in the mood to play with him.  He reminded her of Riley.  'Stupid ponce.'  Spike thought as she shoved the image of Captain Cardboard back into the recesses of her mind.

After spending ten minutes arguing the virtue of American versus European hops, Fred spoke up.

"Well, thanks for the drinks.  We better join our friends."  She said intently as she eyed Spike.

"Yeah, thanks for the drink, mate."  Spike flashed a smile and waved as the two walked into the restaurant searching for their table. Spike laughed as they meandered through the busy establishment.  She could sense Jason's arousal still from across the room.   "It's almost too easy!"

"I bet they are wondering where we are."  Fred said as she perused the room.

"They'll live, pet."  She smirked.  "What?  You afraid Wesley will think you're cheatin' on 'im?"

"Spike!"  Fred responded in an exasperated tone.  The two women found their friends.

"Are you alright, Fred?"  Wesley stood and pulled a chair out for Fred.

"Uh, uh.  We stopped at the bar for a drink."  She sweetly smiled as she sat down.  The only other open seat was by Angel.  Spike proceeded to sit.

Angel turned to her and noticed her smile.  "You okay?"  His eyes squinted, slightly suspicious.  "How much did you drink?"

"Lay off, Warden."  Spike scowled.  "These two blokes bought us drinks."  She turned to Lorne.  "It was great.  He touched my shoulder and I almost hit 'im.  He asked if he could buy me a drink.  What a racket!  Bat my lil' baby blues, and FREE drinks!  Brilliant it is!"

"So, was he cute?"  the Green Demon inquired.

"All American Boy type.  Cute.  Too pure for my tastes, though." Spike grinned and shook her eyebrows while Angel sat silently with a frown on his face.

All eyes turned to the waitress as she walked up to the table.  "Can I take your order?"

*

The Fang Gang enjoyed their blood, drinks, and food.  For the first time since going to Wolfram and Hart, they gelled as a group and relaxed.  As they were preparing to depart, they heard a voice.  "Hi, Anne."

"Oh,"  Spike looked at Fred with a funny expression on her face, "Jason, was it?"  She smiled.

"Yeah.  Could I talk to you for a minute?"  He said as he placed his hands in his pockets.

She was about to say no, when Lorne pushed her towards him.  In the background, Angel growled but no one heard.

Gunn leaned over to Wesley.  "I don't get it.  I know Spike is now a girl, but what does this mean?  Spike's gay?"

"According to the Watcher's Manual, vampires have no sexual preference, Charles.  They do not see use labels to describe their sexuality.  But I guess, basically, the term would be bisexual." Wesley said as he cleaned his glasses.

Gunn thought for a moment.  "You think Spike and Angel, ever..."

"NO, we haven't."  Angel hissed as he grabbed his coat and practically stormed out of the restaurant with the others following.

"Damn, vamp hearing."  Gunn said as he followed.

The group waited for Spike to come out.  After a few minutes she emerged.

"Did you break his fragile little heart, Pumpkin Pie?"  Lorne asked the blond.

"Na, I let 'im down easy.  He's a good kid."  She smiled.  "I've still got it, though!"  She laughed as they entered the limo and drove back to Wolfram and Hart.

~Part: 6~

The next few weeks passed quickly.  Spike continued to adapt to her situation.  The group looked for a reversal; but, the search had been fruitless thus far.  The longstanding tension loosened between Spike and Angel.  Their conversations were no longer erupting into verbal sparring matches, but simple playful banter.  Spike was still slightly cautious, but their situation slowly improved.

*

Angel sat at his desk reviewing the myriad of reports that needed his signature.  His phone blipped.  "Boss?"  The female voice on the line said.

Angel sipped his blood and pressed the button.  "Yes, Harmony?"

"You're nine o'clock is here."

"Okay, I'll be out in moment."  Angel released the button and then proceeded to place his jacket on.   He opened the door to his office and walked to Harmony's desk.  She pointed to a well dressed gentleman sitting on the plush couches in the lobby.  Angel walked over with a sigh.  Wolfram and Hart was beginning to wear on him.

"Julian May, I presume."  Angel offered his hand.

"Yes.  You must be Angelus."  The tall, dark haired man with green eyes replied.

Angel half grinned.  "Actually, it's just Angel."  He said in a serious tone.  "Why don't we go to my office."  He started walking back towards Harmony.  "Would you like a beverage?"

"Yes, a Pelligrino would be lovely."  He smiled.

"Harmony, a Pelligrino for our guest."

The blond looked up from her desk.  "Anything for you, Boss?"

"No."  Angel extended his hand for Julian to enter his office.  He shut the door behind them.

Angel and Julian sat at the couches.  "So,"  Angel began, "What brings the CEO of the New York office to LA?"

"I am visiting some West Coast business contacts in the area and I thought that I should stop in to meet my newest Wolfram and Hart colleague.  I hope my last minute appointment was not problematic."

"Not at all."  Angel said slowly as his head turned as Harmony entered the office with a beverage in hand.  She handed it to Julian, smiled, and left promptly.

Julian sipped his Pellagrino and placed it on the coffee table.  "As you know, in a few months is the annual North American corporate meeting of Wolfram and Hart top executives.  I make it a point to discuss some issues with the heads of the larger cities before attending.  It is important to make sure our agendas are in tune with the philosophy of Wolfram and Hart."  He smiled as his green eyes sparkled.

"So. " Angel began, "you have come to see if I tow the corporate line, so to speak."  Angel squinted his eyes as he stared intently at Julian.

Julian stood gracefully and walked towards the window.  "Certainly your reputation precedes you, Angelus.  Oh, I apologize, Angel.  The vampire with a soul.  I must admit, many of us find it quite peculiar that you of all people now head one of the biggest branches in this country.  But, your firm continues to generate revenue.  Such an anomaly."  He smirked a bit.

Angel stood and looked upon Julian with cold eyes.  "Is there a point to this visit, Mr. May?"  He crossed his arms.

Julian opened his mouth to respond when suddenly the office doors flew open.

"Angel!"  Spike practically yelled.  "I need a new car..."  She stopped abruptly when she saw the two men by the window clearly in the midst of a serious discussion.

In her high pitched voice she said, "Oh, 'm sorry.  Didn't realize you were in a meeting."  She half grinned feeling embarrassed.  She expected Angel to start yelling any second.

Julian turned towards Angel and then Spike and said, "Is this a colleague of yours?"  He smiled.

Angel hesitated for a moment.  At this point he wanted to rip this man to shreds with his bare hands.  "Yes," he cleared his throat, "Julian May, this is Spike."  Julian walked to Spike and took her hand and kissed it.  Angel tried to suppress his growl as he continued. "Spike?  Julian May.  CEO of the New York branch of Wolfram and Hart."

Spike thought she should play nice and not invoke anger from Angel. She had screwed up a few meetings before for not acting according to supposed protocol.

"Pleased to meet you."  She said sweetly.

"And what do you do here at the Firm?"  He asked.

"Many things, really."  She tilted her head a bit when she saw Angel's expression behind Julian..  She knew that he wanted her out of there. "Well,"  she started to back up, "I apologize for the interruption." She said as she looked directly at Angel and quickly left the office.

The two stood silent for a moment.

"Stunning."  Julian said.

"Excuse me?"  Angel responded.

"What an unusual name for such a beautiful creature."  He smiled widely.  Angel clenched his cheeks.  "Is she your consort?"

"My consort?"  Angel's eyes were wide.  "No.  No."  He seemed a bit flustered.

"She is available then?"

"No, she is not."  Angel hissed as he clenched his fists.

Julian stepped back.  "I did not mean to offend you, Angel.  Clearly she is a valued employee to evoke such a reaction."

"She is my Grandchilde."  Angel answered in a serious tone.

"Ah."  Julian shook his head.  "I see.  You vampires are quite attached to your family."  He looked at his watch.  "Well, I do believe I have monopolized enough of your valuable time."  He offered his hand.  "I look forward to seeing you in Toronto.  Until then."

"Until then."  Angel answered and watched him walk out.

*

The dark vampire sat at his desk brooding for a few hours.  His possessive nature had returned to the forefront of late.  He did not quite understand what he was feeling and why any outside interest in Spike affected him so deeply.  He had not felt this way about his family in quite awhile.  Emotions like these made him feel closer to Angelus.  He sighed and then decided he could not brood anymore.  He was exhausted and chose to return to his penthouse.

As he walked in, he heard the sound of the TV blaring.  Oddly enough, his penthouse had seemed more homey since Spike had invaded the premises.  There was constant commotion of some sort when his Grandchilde was around.  He found it quite comforting at times.  He smiled and threw his jacket on the chair like he did most nights.  He warmed up a mug of blood and was going to his room when he heard Spike.

"Hey Peaches?  Warm me up a mug, mate.  Ta!"  Angel completed the task and walked into the TV room.

"Thanks."  Spike said as she lounged in a black cotton tank top and matching bottoms.

Angel sat next to Spike and sipped his blood.  For a time, they watched TV without talking.

"So,"  Spike began, "that bloke from earlier?  Didn't smell human."

Angel leaned his head back.  "He's an Immortal."

"Kind of creepy, if you ask me.  Pillock kissed my hand."  Spike frowned and Angel chuckled.

"Probably someone else I'll need to worry about."  Angel sighed as he rubbed his eyes.

"Oi!  No broodin' in my presence, got it?"  Spike smiled.  "You need to lighten up mate."  Spike turned to him.  "Need to have yourself a good time, that's what.  You're stressed out all the time."  Her voice was concerned but she quickly tried to cover that with a quip. "It's startin' to bug me."

"I have a good time on occasion."  Angel replied unconvincingly.

"With who?  Dog Girl?"  Spike closed her eyes immediately after she mentioned Nina.  'You're so stupid Spike.' She thought to herself. 'Bring up the stupid werewolf.'  She pouted.

"Nina?"  Angel chuckled.  "You call her Dog Girl?  That's not very nice."

"Well,"  she pouted and rolled her eyes, "'m not very nice."  She turned to the TV.

"Anyway, doesn't matter."  Angel added.  "I broke up with her weeks ago."

"Oh?"  Spike said curiously without too much emotion.  "Afraid she'd give you that moment of perfect happiness?"  Spike again regretted her choice of words.

"No."  Angel answered quietly.  "There's no happiness clause."

Spike practically choked.  "What?  How?"

Angel turned to Spike.  "Part of the deal to take this job was that they anchored my soul."

Spike's head dropped and she spoke quietly.  "T-Then, why didn't you go to Buffy?"  Spike eagerly awaited the answer and it was not because she still loved the Slayer.

Angel sat silent for some time.  Finally he shrugged his shoulders. "I will always care for Buffy; but, we are different people now.  I don't think it would work.  I knew that even before my soul became permanent."

Spike's undead heart skipped a few beats but her exterior was still cool.  Suddenly a thought popped in her mind and her anger rose a bit. "Then what about that kiss with 'er, you ponce?"

"It was just a hello."  Angel replied.

"Yeah, that's what the Slayer said."  Spike shook her head and turned back to the TV.  She saw Angel getting up and she stopped him.  "S-So, um.  You wanna watch a movie?"

Angel stared back at her and nearly drowned in her beautiful blue eyes.  "Sure."  He said as he sat down and Spike grabbed a bowl full of popcorn from the coffee table.

"You want some?"  She offered the bowl to Angel.  "Tastes good with blood."  She chuckled when she saw Angel face grimace.   She grabbed the remote and flipped until she found a movie she thought they would both like.

They didn't speak for the next few hours but settled into a very comfortable silence.  Angel placed his feet up on the coffee table and relaxed for the first time in a long while.  After the movie ended, Angel noticed that Spike fell asleep.  He turned the TV off and was going back to his bedroom.  He turned back to the sleeping Spike. Angel stood and watched her face that was illuminated by moonlight. She looked like a true angel; so peaceful, so serene.  He then gently scooped her into his arms.  He was surprised how light she was.  He placed her down on her bed and grabbed a blanket from the chair and placed it over her form. The dark vampire leaned over and kissed her lightly on the forehead and closed the light and shut the door.  Spike smiled as she continued to sleep.

~Part: 7~

Two weeks later

"You wanted to see me, Percy?"  Spike said as she sauntered into the Ex-Watcher's office.  She plopped down on the couch and propped her feet up on the arm.

"Yes, Spike."   He closed his ancient text and stood.  "In a few hours, I have a meeting with Farouk Demons.  They are interdimensional travelers who prey on humans and others who they consider 'subspecies.'  Angel has asked me to open negotiations with them to remove themselves permanently from this dimension."

"Whatcha need me for, then?"  Spike smiled.

"I will be armed, of course.  But I could use some backup.  From my research,  they seem quite unpredictable."

"You need me like a bodyguard?"

"Not exactly.  I need someone I can trust at the meeting."  He saw Spike smirk.

"Spike, your knowledge of demon languages and other skills have been quite helpful since you have arrived.  But, yes, I need 'muscle' as you would so crudely put it."  The Ex-Watcher rolled his blue eyes.

"That's all you needed to say, Watcher."  She stood and chuckled. "So, I guess you're Whitney Houston and 'm Kevin Costner."  She laughed at her own joke.

"Excuse me?"  Wesley responded with puzzled eyes.

"Oh, come on!  'The Bodyguard'?  She threw her hands in the air. "You're jus' as pathetic as Angel, Wesley.  You know nothin' about pop culture!"

"Yes, well, Spike.  We shall depart in one hour."  Wesley nodded his head and returned to his text.

"Well, then, I shall be back."  Spike slipped to her native accent to poke fun at her fellow Englishman.  The two looked at each other and smiled.

*

"We just supposed to sit here and wait all day?"  Spike whispered as they sat at the spartan table in the abandoned warehouse.

"According to the schedule, they should appear shortly."  Wesley peered at his watch.

Suddenly a portal appeared and two demons emerged followed by five smaller beings.  The two larger demons approached.  They were certainly intimidating.  They were over six feet tall with red bodies and two rows of sharp horns framing the sides of their bodies.  Their eyes were yellow and lips were jet black.  They wore long black robes.

Wesley stood and Spike moved behind him.

One of the demons began to speak.  The voice was deep and menacing. "Are you Angelus of Wolfram and Hart?"  He said slowly.

"I am his representative, Wesley Wyndham-Price."  He gestured to the chairs for the two to sit.  The other beings stood stiffly behind the demons.  They were thin and fully shrouded in red robes.  One could not even see their faces.

The two demons hesitated but then sat down.  Wesley followed suit.

*

Angel read his mail as he walked towards Harmony's desk.  "Harmony, where's Wes?"

"Don't you remember, Bossy?  He was meeting with those demon thingies today. He and Spike will be back later."

"What do you mean, Wes and Spike?"  Angel looked concerned.

"Yeah, I saw them leave about an hour ago."  She said happily.

"He took Spike?"  Angel hissed.  "Where did they go?"

"Um, now.  Let me remember."  She said as she shuffled some sheets around.

"HARMONY!"  Angel vamped out.

"Okay, okay.  Here's the address.  It's not too far from here."

Angel grabbed the paper and went quickly to the garage.

*

"This is simply a preliminary meeting to determine if our two parties have the potential to negotiate."  Wesley began.  "Once we have established a dialogue, he will meet with you.  He is a very busy man as you can imagine."

The other demon spoke.  "He is not a man at all.  He is a filthy vampire."  Spike stood in the background with cold eyes and pursed lips.

"We agreed to meet with him because of our longstanding dealings with Wolfram and Hart.  We are insulted that he has sent a pathetic human in his place."  The demon's anger was rising.

Wesley continued despite the tension in the room increasing.  He padded his hip while he sat, reassuring himself that his weapon was still there.  Behind him, Spike reached behind her and felt for the gun she had resting against her hip.

"Yes, well, here are the terms.  We will not interfere with your dealings in other dimensions.  Believe me, we are capable of doing such.  In exchange, you will not harm any humans or other friendly so called 'lower beings' here."   Wesley crossed his hands and stared intently at the two.

The two demons stood abruptly and knocked their chairs back.  "How dare you give us ultimatums, HUMAN!!"   Their hands went beneath their robes and they emerged with weapons and pointed them at Wesley and Spike.

Suddenly the portal reopened to the side of the demons and they marched through.  Wesley and Spike looked at each other and then at their five enemies who now held weapons.  Spike smirked and charged. "Ah!"  She yelled as she threw the first punch.  She easily twisted the neck of one and shot the other.  Wesley used a knife on one of the demons but then struggled with the other.  Spike ran over to him after seeing Wesley fall to the ground after he was stabbed in the arm and then kicked in the stomach.  Spike forcefully turned the demon towards her and tried to punch the being in the face.  It ducked and kicked Spike in the chest instead.  "You bloody bastard!"  Spike yelled as she winced from the pain.  She used her leg to sweep the demon off its feet.  She reached for her gun, and shot it in the chest.  It wailed and then fell silent.  Spike went over to Wesley.  "You alright, Percy?"  Spike panted as she helped him up.

"There's another one."  He said between breaths.  Spike turned and saw the other demon.  She gingerly lay Wesley down and was reaching for her gun as she saw the demon beginning to fire its gun.  The demon fired two shots.  One hit Spike in the right arm and the other in the right chest.  The impact of the blow caused Spike to fall for a moment.  She easily got up in time to see Angel charge in yelling and in full gameface.  He ran up to the robed demon and twisted its neck. He hurried over to Wesley and Spike.  Angel grasped Spike's face and looked down at her.  "You okay?"  There was such concern in his eyes that Spike was taken aback.  She winced a bit from the pain of the bullets but nodded her head.

"'M fine.  Help Wes."  She grimaced slightly as she pointed to the Ex-Watcher.

Angel aided Wesley in standing.  "I am alright, Angel.  Just needed to get on my feet."  Wesley was able to limp over to retrieve his weapon.

"What happened, Wes?"  Angel asked with an underlying strained tone. The two slowly began the walk to the exit.  Before Wesley answered, Angel turned back to Spike who stood where he left her.  He stared at her and something did not seem right.  Her eyes were suddenly glassy and she looked extremely pale.

She shakily turned to her Grandsire and said quietly but calmly, "Angel?"  She swayed for a moment and then collapsed to the ground.

~Part: 8~

Angel carried a limp, pale Spike in his arms as he rushed down the hallway towards the medical ward at Wolfram and Hart. In front of the entrance a team of medical professionals waited.

"Mr. Angel. I am Dr. Smith, chief of staff." A short mustached man in his fifties spoke. "Mr. Wyndham-Price alerted us to your arrival." He took one look at Spike and turned to his team. "Let's get her to a trauma room!"

Angel followed the team into a large white room with a myriad of medical equipment. He placed her down on the gurney but continued to hold her small hand. "Spike." He spoke next to her ear. His chocolate eyes watered. "Honey, can you hear me?" Spike lay still on the bed but her eyes flickered opened. Her usual bright blue eyes seemed dull and vacant. "Angel..." She whispered.

"Stay with me." Angel pleaded with her as he grasped her small hand.

"Excuse me, sir." A nurse asked Angel. "We need to get her clothes off." She said as she held a large pair of scissors. Angel backed up to give the doctors and nurses some room.

"Can you tell me what happened?" Dr. Smith asked the dark vampire.

Angel looked flustered as he tried to concentrate on what they were doing to Spike and answering the questions. "I...uh...S-Spike was shot by a Farouk demon..." Angel ran his hands through his gelled locks. "She seemed okay at first...I mean we're vampires...we've been shot lots of times." He paused. "And then she looked pale and passed out...w-we brought her straight here."

"Angel!" Spike weakly yelled as she arched from the bed. Angel ran back to her side and grabbed her hand.

"I'm here! You're going to be fine." He smiled to reassure her.

Spike's face looked pale and gaunt as she panted. She slowly turned her head to him and said in a small voice. "I-I'm c-cold." She said as she shivered. When Angel felt her head, she was sweating and felt very warm.

"Please, Mr. Angel." Dr. Smith implored. "I need you to step back so we can properly do our survey."

Angel turned to him with yellow eyes blaring. "She NEEDS me here." He hissed.

The doctor hung his head and tried to work around him. As they cut off Spike's clothes, blood was seen slowly seeping from her two wounds. As they attempted to wipe the blood, they also saw large red rings surrounding her wounds; the discoloration extended down her chest and right arm.

"Let's get xray in here to see how deep these bullets are. We need to get them out." Dr. Smith said as he stood to the side watching his team. He turned back to Angel. "Do you know what she was shot with?"

"I've sent a unit back to the warehouse to retrieve the weapon." The dark vampire answered while still holding her hand.

"Draw a comprehensive blood screen for toxins and other substances." The doctor continued.

"Dr. Smith, I am having trouble with getting an IV." A nurse reported.

"Were you able to draw the blood we need?" He asked.

"Yes." She nodded.

"Good. Keep trying." The doctor answered as he continued to look over Spike.

Angel watched as the team placed Spike in a gown after dressing the wounds. Finally, a thought dawned to him. He turned to the Doctor. "I was poisoned a few years ago. The only cure was Slayer Blood. Could this be what we're dealing with?"

Dr. Smith thought for a moment. "Perhaps. I won't know until we run some tests."

"Doctor?" Another nurse spoke. "Her temperature is 85 degrees."

Angel's eyes widened. "How can that be?" He said in a slight panicked voice as he looked at the doctor. He turned back to Spike and whispered words in her ear in Gaelic to try to calm the shivering, barely conscious vampiress.

A voice from the back yelled, "Stand back, people! XRAY." A machine from the ceiling lowered to stop just above Spike. Angel stood back while the picture was taken, but immediately returned to Spike's side when it was over.

After a few minutes, Dr. Smith spoke. "Good news, Mr. Angel. The bullets are fairly superficial. We should be able to remove them with a little local anesthesia." He tried to smile and then returned to discussing the case with his team.

Angel absently nodded. At this point, he was barely able to process what the doctor was telling him. He just continued to stroke Spike's long wavy hair that was currently wet with perspiration. She occasionally muttered something unintelligible. Angel switched to hold her left hand as the doctor placed a mask, gown, and gloves on to retrieve the bullets from her right side. The doctor worked quickly and within fifteen minutes, he removed both bullets. He placed them in a plastic bag and turned to the nurse. "Send those to the Science Department for analysis." He closed her wounds and a nurse put a dressing over them.

Angel sat at her side feeling helpless. "Is there anything I can do?" The dark vampire asked nearly desperate for a task.

"Are you of family line to her?" Dr. Smith asked. Angel nodded. "She will require blood. I understand that family blood is quite potent."

"Whatever you need." Angel responded. He looked down upon his Grandchilde. "Spike?" He asked quietly. "Can you hear me?" He squeezed her hand. He nearly smiled when he saw Spike's eyes fly open. She gasped as her eyes rolled back, and then suddenly, she started violently arching and convulsing.

Angel stood up and knocked his chair down. "Spike!" He said as he watched saliva running out of her mouth as she continued with her seizing. Angel tried to hold her down, but to no avail.

"Two milligrams of Ativan, STAT!" Dr. Smith shouted as he ran to her side. "NOW!"

"Doctor," a nurse replied, "we still don't have an IV."

"Then give it in her muscle." He responded as he watched the nurse empty the syringe in Spike's left shoulder area.

"Spike!" Angel said as tears poured from his eyes. His undead heart was breaking at watching her in this state.

"Somebody, please remove him." Two male nurses attempted to escort Angel from the room. He vamped out and snarled at them.

"Mr. Angel, if you want me to help her, then please leave!" The doctor said forcefully. Angel bowed his head and left. He heard the doctor ordering more seizure medicine as the doors closed in front of him.

Angel stumbled over to a chair in the waiting area. He buried his face in his hands as he attempted to get a reign on his demon. He wanted to kill something. He breathed deeply as tears fell from his eyes.

"Angel!" He heard Fred yell as she ran down the hall. Lorne and Gunn followed. "Oh my gosh, is she okay?" Fred looked stunned as she noticed the state the dark vampire was in. She had never seen him look so devastated and vulnerable. Her heart sank as she began to fear the worse. "Where is she?"

Angel still couldn't speak. He just looked up at his friends and they knew this was serious. They all sat down and waited. Occasionally the doors would open and people would rush in and out; but, still no news yet. The others tried to engage Angel in some conversation but he remained silent. He stood over in the corner staring out the window.

"Angel?" Wesley walked up after receiving medical attention. His right arm was in a sling. "Is Spike alright?" He said as he walked towards the dark vampire.

Angel growled and turned towards him with yellow eyes; he practically flew to him and pinned against the wall and held him by the throat.

"ANGEL!" The others yelled as they attempted to extract Angel from a choking, gasping Wesley.

"Who gave you permission to take her with you!" Angel's chest heaved as he spoke. "Answer me, HUMAN!!" He hissed as he vamped out. "ANSWER ME!"

Gunn and Lorne succeeded in tearing the dark vampire from Wesley. The Ex-Watcher slid to the ground gasping, as Fred helped to calm him down. Gunn pushed Angel against the opposite wall. "This isn't helping Spike!" Gunn said as he tried to pacify Angel who was still glaring at Wesley. Angel broke free from Gunn and slowly walked towards Wesley.

"I told you that you would need some backup and to take Special Ops. You disobeyed and instead took my Grandchilde and placed her in danger." Angel spoke as his eyes burned yellow.

Wesley stood and stared at Angel with sad eyes. "I am so sorry for what happened to Spike, Angel." He bowed his head and spoke quietly, his voice a bit hoarse. "I needed someone to work with that I trusted."

"Farouk demons are not tolerant of vampires!" Angel hissed.

"Nor of humans, Angel. Yet, you sent me." Wesley looked intently at the dark vampire.

Lorne intervened. "Look, friends. Enough of the testosterone show. We need to focus on our little Blondie Bear right now." The Green Demon looked at the two. They each lowered their heads and walked to opposite sides of the room.

*

One hour passed before they heard any news of Spike's condition. Dr. Smith emerged from the room wiping his brow. He walked slowly towards Angel who stood to meet him. His friends gathered around him.

"Mr. Angel." He began.

"Look, it's just Angel."

"Very well, Angel. We were able to stop Spike's seizures for the time being. She required a large amount of sedatives to do so." He paused.

Angel eyes watered. "Do you know what is causing this?"

"Not of yet." Dr. Smith turned towards Fred. "We have sent the bullets and samples of her blood to your department Ms. Burkle." Fred nodded and he turned back to Angel.

"We could use some of your blood for her, Angel. As soon as we can identify what the cause of her illness is, we can tailor our therapy to it."

Angel's dark eyes were wide with fear. "And if you can't figure it out...will she die?"

"Let us not speak hypothetically at this time. For now, we will give her supportive care: blood and fluids. We will try to make her as comfortable as we can."

Angel hung his head and whispered. "Thank you, Doctor." He looked up. "Can I see her now?"

The doctor tried to smile. He placed a hand on Angel's shoulder. "Let me show you where you can make your blood donation for Spike and then, feel free to sit with her. " Angel glanced briefly at his worried friends and then disappeared with the doctor.

After giving blood, Angel slowly walked down the long, gray corridor towards Spike's room. He allowed a tear to escape his eyes before roughly wiping his face. He knew that he had to be strong for his Grandchilde. He nodded his head and took a large unneeded breath as he walked into the Intensive Care Unit.

~Part: 9~

Angel kept a constant vigil at Spike's bedside.   He sat on the chair beside her and held her hand.  The room was eerily quiet.  Spike lay as still as the dead.  She occasionally flinched or mumbled.  Her condition had not improved in the last twenty-four hours.

The door to Spike's room peeked open.  Fred quietly walked through. She took in the scene as her heart ached for her two friends. "Angel?"  She said quietly.

As the dark vampire slowly turned his head towards her, she noticed the drawn features and the blood shot eyes of Angel.  Fred held up a bag.  "I brought you some blood."  She attempted to smile.  "It's warm."

Angel turned back towards Spike.  "I'm not hungry."  He said in a monotone voice.

"You should take a break, Angel."  She said quietly.

"I can't leave."  His voice cracked.  "What if she wakes up and all she will see are these gray walls...I can't risk that."  Angel paused.

"Angel, you need to feed to keep your strength up."  Angel shook his head as Fred changed her tactics.  "Spike needs your blood.  If you don't feed, it will hurt Spike.  Do you want that?"  She said with a strong tone in her voice.

Angel thought for a moment and stood up and walked over to Fred.  She handed him the container and Angel forced the blood down.  His fangs descended as he realized he was drinking human blood.  He raised his eyebrow for a moment.

"I'd figure human would be better for Spike."  She smiled and was happy to see that Angel reciprocated.  "Why don't you go take a quick shower and change your clothes, Angel.  I'll sit with Spike until you come back and then I'll go back to  the lab."  She proceeded to sit in the chair near Spike's bed.

"Thanks, Fred."  Angel was exhausted as he stood there.  "Are you close to finding any answers?"  He asked with hope in his voice.

"We'll figure it out, Angel.  I promise.  "We just need a little more time."

"That's the problem.  I don't know how much time we have left."  He said quietly as he took one last look at his Grandchilde before reluctantly leaving.  "I'll be back."

*

After returning, Angel dozed in the chair as he sat with Spike. Suddenly, he startled awake as he heard her moan.  He immediately grabbed her hand.  "Spike?"  Her only response was continued moaning. She sounded as though she was in a great amount of pain.  He took a small towel and dabbed her forehead that continued to be wet with perspiration.  For the first time in his unlife, Angel felt completely powerless.

He clutched the bedside remote and frantically pushed the call button. A voice came over the intercom.  "May I help you?"

"I need to see the doctor."  Angel said as he stood.

"As soon as he finishes his rounds, I will send him."

The dark vampire's eyes were yellow.  "I don't think you understand." He growled.  "I want to see him now.  This is Angel."

"Oh, Mr. Angel, sir.  Yes, right away."  The voice responded as Angel managed a smile.  At least something good came out of being the CEO of 'Evil Incorporated.'  His smile saddened as he thought about the first time Spike used that term to describe Wolfram and Hart.  Angel had been so annoyed with the blond vampire, that he yelled at him.  The dark vampire shook his head.  He could not think about those things now.  He needed to focus his attention.

"No..."  Spike whispered but her eyes were still shut.

"Spike?"  Angel asked with hope in his voice as he clasped her thin hand.

"School's out..."  Her speech seemed slurred and Angel could barely make out what she said.

"Honey?  Can you hear me?"  He said as he stroked her hair and then her cheekbones.

"The end...no you don't...thanks..."  She said quietly but her voice was steadily rising.

"Open your eyes, Spike."  He pleaded with her.

"'M burning...burning!!!!"  She said frantically and then screamed and bucked in bed and then all of a sudden she was quiet again.

"Spike?"  Angel gently shook her as she became quiet.  He was desperate when Dr. Smith walked in the room.

"Angel did you need to see me?"  He stood quietly for a moment as he noted the despair on Angel's face.  "Did something happen?"  He said as he went to look Spike over.  She appeared unchanged to him.

"She was speaking.  It was jibberish, but she spoke."  Angel's eyes were wide.  "She seems like she is in a lot of pain."

"She may be hallucinating, that's all Angel.  It is common when one is poisoned."  He placed a reassuring hand on his shoulder.

"Poison?"  Angel stood to face the doctor.  "Do you know what type?"

"We're pretty close to figuring it out and then we can hopefully find a cure or antidote."  He paused.  "I will have the nurse give Spike some Morphine to keep her comfortable.  I'll let you know when anything else occurs."  The doctor nodded and left.  A few minutes later, a nurse entered the room.

Angel watched as the nurse injected the medicine through Spike's IV. He continued to stroke her cheek and whisper reassuring things in her ear.  "Please, Spike.  Come back to me.  I need you."  Angel lowered his head into her lap and fell asleep.

*

During the early evening, Angel tore himself away from Spike's side and quickly went to his office to feed.  He did not even bother to warm it up.  He wanted to get back to Spike.  His office door opened and he turned to find Wesley standing at the door.  The two stared at each other for a time and finally, Wesley spoke.  The Ex-Watcher looked devastated.  "Angel, if I had known..."

Angel's undead heart warmed as he saw Wesley's emotion.  "I know, Wes. I'm sorry I snapped like that.  I had no right."

Wesley sighed.  "We are all worried about Spike, Angel.  I must admit that we-I am a bit confused at your reaction to her illness."  He stared intently at the dark vampire.

Angel understood his point.  "It's complicated, Wes."  Angel said as he sat down on the couch.  He leaned over and placed his head in his hands and then looked up.  "So much has occurred between the two of us.  Spike is-was like my own Childe.  But circumstances changed all that."

Wesley understood.  "Your soul."  He replied.  Angel nodded.

"After one hundred years, all that seemed to be left was anger, jealousy, and hate.  But underneath everything..."  Angel trailed off. He had never spoken to anyone about this.  This was his burden to bare.  "Spike's change has allowed us to...I don't know...but something has changed between us.  I know I'm not making any sense." He rubbed his fatigued eyes.

"You care for Spike."  Wesley stated simply.  The two sat silent for some time.  "She will recover, Angel.  Fred is close to isolating the origin of her illness."  Wesley smiled and stood up to leave.  Before walking through the door, he turned back to the dark vampire.  "It is quite clear that Spike cares for you as well."  The two smiled at each other as Wesley departed.

*

Before returning to the Intensive Care Unit, Angel went to the lab on check on Fred's progress.  He found Wes and Fred huddled together looking through a microscope.  Angel smiled as he saw the state Fred was in: her hair was in a ponytail on top of her head and was quite disheveled looking.  Her glasses were on the tip of her nose.  He felt blessed to have such devoted friends in his life.

"Fred?"  Angel said quietly.

"Oh, Angel!"  She responded looking surprised.  She pushed her glasses up.  "I didn't see you there."

"Any progress?"

"It is definitely a toxin of sort.  I am analyzing the biochemical properties of the substance.  Once I can identify it, I will run a DNA sequence match in the Wolfram and Hart data systems to see if we have a match on file.  We may have an antidote here in the storage facility and..."

"Okay, Fred."  Wesley interjected as he saw Angel's eyes glaze over. "She is near to finding out what it is, Angel."

"Thanks, guys."  Angel's eyes watered.  He placed his hands in his jacket pockets and walked out of the lab.  As he neared Spike's room, he heard some activity.  He sprinted towards the noise and found numerous people huddled around her bed.  His eyes were wide as he saw her shaking again.  He rushed through the crowd to find Dr. Smith ordering more medicines to stop her seizures.  After ten minutes, Spike was still once more.  Angel turned to the doctor.

"She's dying."  Angel said quietly as he reached his arm out to find a chair.  He felt his strength momentarily leave him. He looked up with pleading eyes, desperately wanting the doctor to contradict him.

The small man sat next to Angel.  "It is serious, Angel.  I will not lie to you.  There is always hope, though.  Winifred is still working on a solution."  He paused.  "Don't lose faith." They both watched the gravely ill Spike for a time and finally, the doctor excused himself.

Angel stared at the increasingly pale face of Spike and pleaded. "Don't leave me, please.  I can't do this by myself anymore.  I can't."

*

Angel managed to take a catnap and startled awake the next morning as he felt the warm rays of the sun bathing him.  He looked up to see that Spike appeared unchanged.  Angel's heart sank as he watched her. He sighed and stood up and walked out of the room to get some fresh air.  He saw all his friends congregating in the hall with the doctor. When they saw Angel, they turned to him and smiled.

"Angel,"  Fred began, "we've isolated the toxin affecting Spike."  Her smile was wide.

"Really?"  He asked.

"Yes, Angel."  Dr. Smith reassured him.  "We do have an antidote.  We need to have the pharmacy concentrate it and we can administer it to Spike to see if she responds to it."

"If?"  Angel asked seriously.

"It will likely work, Angel.  But, nothing is one hundred percent." He looked at Fred.  "Thank you for your work.  Angel, it should be ready soon and we'll start."

Angel stood in front of Fred and tried to open his mouth to talk. Nothing came out.

"It's okay, Angel."  Fred said as she embraced the emotionally exhausted vampire.  "It'll all be okay."

*

Over the next eight hours, Spike's color slowly improved as the infusion entered her system.  Her temperature returned to baseline as her sweating dissipated.  Angel did not leave as he did not want her to wake up and not see him there.  He dozed for some time and then he heard the most melodious noise.

"Sire?"  A high-pitched weak voice spoke.  Spike's eyes fluttered open.

"Gods, Spike!"  Angel said abruptly as he sat up and grabbed her hands.

She tried to moisten her cracked, dry lips.  "W-What...?"  Her eyes were confused as she looked around at her environment.

"Don't try to talk, Spike."  He stroked her hand.  "After you were shot, you got sick.  The bullets had poison on them."  He smiled down at her and thought she was the most beautiful thing he had ever seen. "But you're okay, now."  He caressed her cheek and was so happy to see a hint of color to them.

Spike's blue eyes closed for a moment as she felt Angel's touch. "Angel."  She whispered as she stared at her Grandsire.  Her chin trembled and a tear escaped her eye as the events of the last few days washed over her.   But knowing Angel was by her side gave her a sense of relief.  She turned and curled into the fetal position so her head lay on Angel's hand.  Angel's other hand slowly stroked Spike's hair. The dark vampire looked up with tear filled eyes and thanked whoever for the return of his Grandchilde.

*

Angel sat back as he watched Spike rest.  He smiled when her eyes opened again.

Her voice was weak.  "You look like shit, mate."  She said as she attempted to smirk.

"I see that you are feeling better. "  Angel chuckled.  "Yeah, I haven't showered much in the last few days."  He leaned forward. "Someone got sick."  He remarked sarcastically.

"Yeah.  Sorry 'bout that."  She answered jokingly.

Angel's smile faded.  "Spike."  He hesitated for a moment before continuing.  "I..."  Angel stopped when he heard a knock on the door.

"Hello?"  Fred opened the door.  "Can we all come in?"  The two vampires nodded as the Fang Gang entered with balloons and flowers. They congregated around her bed.

"You're looking better, Blondie Bear."  Lorne started.  "You should be in tip top shape in no time, Pumpkin.

"Glad you're better, Blondie."  Gunn added while Fred went to hug Spike.

"Thanks, everyone."  Spike answered.  "I'll be fine."  She turned to Wesley who was standing in the back.

"Spike, I would like to apologize for my carelessness in..."  His eyes were sad.

Spike interrupted him.  "What are you goin' on about, Percy?  Just bad luck, that's all."  She smiled and then looked at him seriously.  "No worries.  Okay pet?"  Wesley nodded his thanks.   Spike yawned.

"Alright guys, let Spike get his rest."  Angel said as he stood. Their friends waved goodbye as they left.

Angel helped reposition Spike so she was more comfortable in the hospital bed.

"Ta."  Spike said as she lay her head back on her pillow.  She suddenly felt extremely fatigued.

Angel stood watching her for a moment and then looked around the room. "Well...I guess..."

"You're leaving?"  Spike said as she tried to hide the hurt in her voice.

"I wasn't sure if you wanted me to stay."  Angel said almost sheepishly.  "I could, though.  You know.  Stay."  Angel mentally kicked himself for sounding like a Scooby.

Spike smiled.  She thought Angel looked cute when he was nervous. "Sure.  If you want."  Angel took the seat next to her and waited until Spike began to slumber before trying to sleep himself.

*

The next morning the two vampires were awakened when Dr. Smith entered.

"Rise and shine!"  The doctor said enthusiastically.  "How's the patient?"  He said as he walked over to Spike.

"Right as rain, doc.  Thanks for all the work."  Spike said as she scooted up in the bed.  "Still feel a bit weak, though."  She said with a slightly worried tone.

"The amount of poison in your system would have killed a human in a few hours.  With your vampire constitution, you will make a full recovery, but there will be residual weakness for a few weeks.  I would like you to come to the physical therapy department once a day during the week, so we can build your strength back up.  Other than that, you will be discharged today.  Is your place far from here?"

"She's staying with me."  Angel interjected.

"Very well, that makes things much easier."  He smiled.  "I want you to drink some human blood once a day and also some of Angel's blood a few times a week.  This will help speed up your recovery.  Any questions?"

Spike shook her head.

"Thanks, Dr. Smith."  Angel added.

The doctor nodded and left.  Spike turned to the dark vampire.  "So, pet.  You've got to give me your blood, huh?"  She smirked.

"Guess so.  It's your lucky day."  Angel answered as he stood.  "I'm going to go upstairs and make things ready and have a shower.  I feel disgusting."  He said as he touched his clothes.

"And your hair is in serious need of that poufy gel you always use." Her blue eyes sparkled.

"My hair gel is not poufy!" He countered as he neared the door.

"Keep telling yourself that, luv!"  Spike yelled after Angel as he left.  She laughed a hearty laugh.

*

As Angel returned to Spike's room, he reveled in the fact that he was now clean.  He patted his now perfectly gelled hair as he chuckled to himself.  He was happy to see Spike return to her snarky self.  He heard Spike yell from outside the room.

"GET THE BLOODY HELL AWAY FROM ME WITH THAT, YOU STUPID BINT!"  Her voice sounded distressed.  Angel ran down the hall to see if she was in danger.  He entered the room to find Spike sitting up on the bed. She had clearly been bathed because she was out of her hospital gown and in regular clothes.  She was in game face hissing at a nurse who was standing at the bedside.

"What's going on?"  Angel said as he tried to calm down now that he realized his Grandchilde was not being harmed.  Spike crossed her arms and turned away.  Angel looked at the nurse's name tag.  "Um.  Mary? What seems to be the problem?"

The human's heartbeat was fast.  He could sense her fear.  "I-I w-was trying to get her in the wheelchair, so w-when you came, she...she'd be ready to go."  Tears filled her eyes.

"That's okay."  Angel reassured her as he placed his hands on her shoulders and lead her from the room.  "I'll take care of it.  Thank you for your help."  He waited to turn back to Spike until the door closed.

"Spike?"  He asked in a somewhat angry tone.  "What is your problem? You scared that poor woman!"  Spike refused to look at Angel.  He reached over to touch her and was surprised when Spike flinched.  He saw real fear in her eyes as they teared.

"It's just a wheelchair, Spike."  Angel regretted his words after they left his mouth.  His eyes were wide as the realization hit him. "Gods, Spike.  Honey, I'm sorry."  He reached to touch her back and she drew away.  He walked over to her and crouched down in front of her.  He looked up and was heartbroken to see tears streaming down her face.

She whispered, "I can't...I can't."  The memories of Spike's time in the wheelchair and the humiliation and the torture at the hands of Angelus flooded back to her mind.

"I'm sorry, Spike."  Angel's eyes were filled with remorse.  "This isn't the same. You can walk this time; you're just a little weak. The doctor thinks it will help you get around."  He brought his hand forward to wipe her tears; but she turned away again and shook a little.  "I'm not him, Spike.  I won't hurt you.  Never again."  He said as his eyes burned with conviction.  "He can never hurt you again."

Spike opened her eyes and looked intensely at Angel.  Blue eyes met chocolate brown eyes.  She could see his soul reflected in his beautiful orbs.  She knew he was speaking the truth and wanted to believe him.  She sniffed and wiped her eyes and nodded slightly. She held her arm out as Angel stood.  He gently helped her out of the bed. They took tentative steps initially.  It took most of her strength to walk those few steps to the wheelchair.  She hesitated for a moment and then lowered herself into the chair with Angel's help.  He wiped a few stray tears from her face and half smiled.  He walked ahead and propped the door open and then wheeled her out and started the journey back to the penthouse.

~Part: 10~

The next ten days passed quickly.  Spike was determined to be rid of the wheelchair as soon as she could.  She spent most days working intensely in the physical therapy department.  Through pain, hard work, and determination, she was able to use a cane eventually.  Angel continued to support the blond vampire but he was cautious.  She was quiet around him.  The memories of their time in Sunnydale seemingly fresh on her mind.  She knew, in her heart, that he was no longer that creature capable of such horror.  She simply needed time.

*

Spike tossed and turned in her large bed one late night.  She had been tired from a busy day with physical therapy and spending time in Fred's lab.  She had returned and quickly fed and went to bed.  She lay in the dark and stared straight up at the ceiling.  She could not sleep so she decided to go into the living room area.

She stood in the dark room.  The only light was the moonlight streaming through the blinds.  With the use of her cane, she found herself walking slowly towards the window and staring down at the city of Angels.  She wrapped her arms around her thin frame as if she were cold.  She closed her eyes for a moment and then opened them as she felt a presence.  She knew Angel was standing in the room watching her, but she did not turn around.

"Spike?"  Angel said quietly as he placed a t-shirt on over his broad frame.  "Couldn't sleep?"

"Yeah."  She answered while keeping her eyes closed.

"Are you okay?"  The dark vampire asked with concern.  "Did you have a bad dream?"  He said while stepping a bit closer to her.  He was still quite a distance away from her.

"Always have those."  She said so quietly Angel barely heard her.

The two stood there for quite some time in silence.  Angel watched her back and wanted so much to comfort her and get her to talk; but, he was nervous.  He did not want to pry, but he could sense that she wanted to say something.  She was breathing and he knew Spike would breathe when she was felt uneasy or scared.

"When you were in the hospital, Spike,"  Angel started slowly, "you seemed to have some bad dreams and hallucinations."  When he realized she was not interrupting him, he continued.  "You were screaming about burning..."  He trailed off because he was not sure what kind of reaction he would receive.  Silence befell the room again.  After a while, she spoke.

She laughed bitterly at first.  "That damn amulet, you know.  Felt so stupid wearin' it.  Looked like friggin' Elizabeth Taylor or somethin'."  She shook her head.  "Started heatin' up after awhile. The Slayers had beat the Ubervamps back, but it wasn't enough. They kept comin'.  Probably thousands of those ugly fuckers."  She continued to hold her arms around her thin frame and to talk at the window.  She did not turn back.  Angel stood quietly.  His heart was breaking as he heard his Grandchilde speak with such sadness.

"Then the amulet glowed and kind of threw me back against a big rock." Her voice rose a bit.  "Light or somethin' shot out of it and started burnin' those vamps.  Just like if sunlight hit them.  Gave a chance for what Slayers were left to get out of there."  She bowed her head. "That's when I knew."  She whispered.

"Knew what?"  Angel asked.

"That I wasn't leaving."

Angel's eyes saddened.  "Spike.  You don't have to..."  Angel walked towards his Grandchilde.  He did not want her to dredge up painful memories.

"It's okay.  Never really talked about it before, you know?"  Angel sensed the unsteadiness in her voice.  But, he did not keep her from speaking.

"I was okay.  I think.  I knew it was my time.  After everything I'd done..."  Her voice choked as she lowered her head.  She took a deep breath and continued.  "The light kept coming out; it hurt but I was calm.  Ready."  She paused.  "And then, I felt it."

Angel was confused.  "Felt what, Spike?"

She turned her head to the dark vampire and whispered.  "My Soul."  A tear escaped her eye.  "It was beautiful, Sire."  She paused.  "I knew that I couldn't ever make up for everything I had done.  But, in that last moment, I knew I could  at least try."  She reached up to wipe her face and she turned away again.

She breathed deeply again.  She bit her lower lip before proceeding. "Did you know?"  She couldn't bear to face him after asking the question so she kept her back towards him still.

"Yes.  I felt you pass."  He answered with sadness as he teared.

Spike's voice cracked.  "Did you care?"

"Gods, Spike!"  Angel moved closer.  "Of course I did."

A small smile traversed her face as she let out the breath she did not realize she was holding.

"I know I was such an ass when you first came back.  I think I was in shock really.  So much had happened in my life to that point.  With the move to Wolfram and Hart, I was all messed up.  I was a terror when we first got here."  He chuckled.  "I think it was because I couldn't tell anyone about my grief.  I was mourning many things at that time, Spike.  Including you."  He sighed.  "When you appeared in my office, I know I was a jerk."  Angel stopped rambling.

She quietly asked, "How long was I gone?"

"About nineteen days."

She snorted.  "Seemed longer."

Angel proceeded delicately.  "Spike, where were you?"  He was not sure he wanted to know.

She shrugged her shoulders.  "Don't really know.  I couldn't feel me but I know I was me."  She shook her head.  "I wasn't in pain or nothin'.  But I was all alone."  She turned to him briefly.  "You were raised Catholic, Liam...maybe I was in limbo or purgatory or whatever."  Her voice hitched again.  "Next thing I know, I was in your office all ghost-like."  She turned back.  "Don't know what was worse.  Being there all alone or here where nothing had changed."

"Will, I am so sorry.  I never thought...I don't even know what to say."  He hung his head.  "I was so relieved to see you at first and then I snapped back into our old way of relating to each other."  He walked until he was directly behind her.  He placed his hands on her shoulders.  Initially he felt her tense, but then she relaxed.  "There is so much I need forgiveness for."  He paused and nearly melted when he felt her cool hand on top of his.  He turned her gently until he was looking down into her beautiful blue eyes.  He slowly bent down and lightly kissed her forehead.  "You were always so beautiful, Will."  He whispered.  He wiped the tear traveling down her sculptured cheek.  "Don't cry, Little One."

"Angel..."  Spike closed her eyes as if in disbelief.

"Ssh.  No more talking."  Angel bowed down and captured her lips tenderly.  He found himself smiling into the kiss as he felt her responding by opening her mouth.  His long arms encircled her thin frame as he deepened the kiss and the passion of over a century took over.  Spike eventually pulled back from the kiss.  The two vampires panted.  "I'm sorry."  The dark vampire said.

"For what?"  She asked.

"I wanted to do that for so long, I almost lost control."  He smiled.

"And that's a bad thing because?"  She slyly grinned as Angel chuckled as he embraced her.  Against his chest, she continued.  "I wanted you to do that for a long time, you stupid ponce!"  The two laughed.

"Why don't we head to bed."  Angel said and then he swallowed nervously.  "Would you come with me?  I want to hold you all night." His smile warmed her heart.  She nodded and reached for her cane. Angel gently grabbed it from her and lay it down on a chair.  He lifted her into his arms and walked slowly to the bedroom and closed the door.

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