COUPLE: A/X, W/S
RATING: R. . .maybe slight NC-17
DISTRIBUTION: My site!! www.geocities.com/tienco_21 and various lists. Ask if you want it, I'll let you have it. Oh, Jinni, Kylia, and Jai can always have it. . .if I've given you permission for something else, you are welcome to this.
DISCLAIMER: All belongs to Joss Whedon. I want Xander though. And Spike, and Angelus. Perhaps Willow and Faith can come play too.
FEEDBACK: Of *course*. Makes me write more.
SPOILERS: Notta.
SUMMARY: Angel, Willow, and Spike go to tell Xander that Willow is still alive. . .
NOTES: This is a sequel to the beautifully written (and so sad) fic 'Yesterday' by Jinni. I couldn't *not* write a sequel. She inspires me. What can I say?
DEDICATION: To my girl Jinni. . .WHAT UP, DAWG!! YA WANKER! ;) *thinking of the wet snoopy dance and pink helmets* Keep writing that good stuff that makes my muse want to play in your sandbox. . .
Brown eyes closed, long wet eyelashes brushing against pale taunt cheeks. It had been a week. A full week since she'd been snuffed out of existence, since the red had disappeared from his life. The rest of the colors in his world were dull and gray, faded to almost colorless. He lay back on his couch, trying to decide what to do with the rest of his life.
Xander sighed wistfully, wishing he could move on like Buffy did. Sure, the blonde still cried, she was still hurting - but she was able to leave her house and live her life. Xander didn't think that he'd ever live again.
There was a knock at his door. The youth wearily stood up, moving across his living room. He opened the door and looked up, tears filling his eyes. "Angel," he whispered. He brushed his tears away. "You are a week late. You missed the funeral."
Angel frowned. "I. . .was there, Xander," he said softly.
A new wave of tears filled his eyes, his heart breaking yet again. "You were there?" he whispered. "You were there and you couldn't even say hello? No 'Hey, Xander, lookin' good.' No, 'Sorry you lost your best friend, Xander.' No 'God, Xander, I wish I could make some of the pain of losing Willow go away.'?" He backed away from the door, eyes closed tightly, painful sobs tumbling from his lips. He fell to his knees, his body wracked with violent shuddering.
Willow stepped into the doorway, looking up at her Grand-Sire. Tears were streaming down her own face, as she watched her best friend literally come apart because of her death. Her demon roared, angry that they would keep her away from Xander for a full week, but her mind and soul knew that it was better. It took her a full week to get the demon under some sort of control, so she wouldn't fly into a rage and kill him. Angel nodded. She turned back towards her best friend, who was crying into his hands. She felt Spike's hand on her back, giving her support.
"Xander."
He didn't respond.
"Xander!" Willow exclaimed. "Sweetie, look up."
Xander froze, hearing Willow's voice. He blinked, then slowly looked up, scared of what he would see. "W. . .Willow?" he asked softly.
She smiled tentatively as he pulled himself up, standing on shaking legs. "Xander. . .I'm alive. Well, sorta." She placed her hand in the middle of the space between the doorframe and pushed inward, the invisible barrier keeping her hand outside the apartment. She smiled warmly. "I have my soul though. . .but. . .I don't want anyone to know. Buffy and Giles. . .as much as I love them, they've dealt with it. They. . .they will go on."
"Why me?" Xander whispered. "Why did you have to tell me?" His heart broke again at the thought that she'd leave him again, after sharing her news.
"Xander, my sweet precious Xander. Spike and Angel have kept an eye on you the last week, watching you while I fight the demon. You aren't doing that good. Besides, you are my best friend. I couldn't. . ." Tears filled her eyes. "I couldn't let you think I was gone. . ."
"Why? Why are you a vampire?"
"Spike," she said, turning to her Mate. "When I got in the wreck, he took me, before Death did. He couldn't bear the thought of living without me for eternity." She shrugged, looking down. "He was going to do it eventually, it just came sooner than he planned."
"Now what?" Xander whispered, knowing that Willow wouldn't stay there.
Willow looked between her Sire and Grand-Sire. They'd already decided what they wanted to do, having talked about it at great lengths. She turned back to Xander. "We are going to travel the world," Willow said quietly. "There are a lot of places both of them want to show me."
"Oh," Xander said, turning away. That was it. That was the end. She had shown up and now she was going to leave again. He'd seen her beautiful green eyes, her long red hair once again, and now she was going to leave again. Granted, he got to say goodbye this time, but. . .it still hurt.
"And you," Willow whispered. "If you want to come."
Xander spun around, his eyes widening, his heart blossoming with hope. "You. . .you want me to come with you?"
She laughed, red tinged tears spilling on her cheeks. "Like I'd leave you here in Sunnydale alone! You are my best friend, Xander! You always promised me you'd take me around the world. . .I'm just going to be the one doing it this time. Besides," she grinned, leaning into Spike's embrace. "Angel needs someone to entertain him. Spike has this thing about shagging me all the time, and you know, Peaches gets lonely. Well, 'cept when he joins, but you know, Spike gets all growly. Unless of course Angel's doing him, then he gets all moany, but. . ." She paused, blinking. Xander was staring at her, mouth wide open. "What?" she asked.
"You. . .you and. . .them?"
She frowned. "Yea. . .is that. . .I mean, does that. . .does that bother you?" she asked softly, suddenly worried that he would look down at her.
Xander laughed. "God no! Kinda. . .turns me on in a freaky kinda vampire-doing-each-other kinda way."
Willow grinned. "Maybe Angel can talk you into joining one day." She winked. Her laughter filled the hallway. "Come on, Xand, I want to get the hell out of Sunnydale. Get your stuff packed. Get your most important stuff, we can buy more things for you when we get to wherever we decide to go."
Xander smiled. "You guys come in while I pack."
The three vampires walked in, the barrier disappearing. Willow rushed Xander, knocking him down with an 'oof', hugging him tighter than she ever had before. "W. . .Wills," he grimaced. "Human. . .breaking ribs, pain. . .need to breathe. . ."
Willow giggled playfully. "Sorry," she smiled. "Go pack. I want to leave."
~*~
"So how are you?"
Xander looked over, pulling his sunglasses down over his nose. "Pretty cool, Deadboy. I'm on a cruise, at night, wearing sunglasses, surrounded by beautiful women, and my best friend is alive. I can't ask for much more than that."
"I. . .I'm sorry we had to keep it from you. . ."
Xander promptly pulled his sunglasses back over his eyes, turning away from Angel. He leaned against the railing of the ship, his forearms resting on the guard. "I understand why you did it. And it makes me appreciate Willow more now, because I've lived without her, and I don't like it." He absentmindedly brushed a tear away. "But I don't want to talk about it. She's alive, and that's good enough for me."
Angel knew that the man needed to talk about it, needed to let go of the sadness that still resided there. "Xander," he said, putting his hand on the human's back. Xander flinched at the touch, and Angel yanked his hand away like he'd been burned.
Xander pushed away from the railing, glancing down at his watch. "Midnight desert buffet," he said sullenly. "I'm meeting Willow there. She still enjoys food. Bye, Deadboy." He turned away from the vampire and walked down the deck, leaving Angel standing there to stare at his back, wishing he could figure out how to help the youth get over the hurt that still plagued his heart.
~*~
"Mmm. . ." Willow moaned, her pink tongue shooting out of her mouth to lick her lips delicately, her eyes closed in ecstasy.
Xander watched her with wide eyes, shifting uncomfortably in his seat. He couldn't get over the fact that he was actually getting *hard* from watching his best friend eat a brownie supreme.
She was incredible. Beautiful, more beautiful than he remembered her being. He knew that part of it was the demon, but most of it was that he looked at her with different eyes now. He'd lost her once, and now he could fully appreciate everything she was, everything she had to offer. "Wills," he said, his voice soft.
She opened sparkling green eyes. She sniffed the air slightly, her face breaking into a grin. "This is making you hard, isn't it?" she giggled softly. "I can smell your arousal." She pushed her brownie aside and leaned forward, smelling the air again. She had her eyes closed and her head tilted. "You smell sweet. . .almost like a dessert yourself." She laughed, opening her eyes. "You know Angel's soul is permanent now."
Xander blinked in mild shock. "Huh?" he asked, not able to follow the conversation.
"Permanent. Not going anywhere."
"Well," Xander said, shifting again. He frowned slightly. "He and Buffy can have a grand time now," he nodded. < Why the hell does that piss me off? That shouldn't piss me off. >
Willow laughed so hard, tears came to her eyes. She wiped them away, beaming at Xander. "Angel? And the Slayer? *So* not going to happen, Xander. He doesn't want her anymore."
Xander's eyebrow rose. "Really?" he asked. "I thought that they had that eternal Romeo and Juliet love crap going on."
"She may, but he's moved on. It's taken him a while, but seeing her with Riley, knowing that she's happy has helped. Besides, he sorta has his eye on someone else." She smirked, her eyes twinkling in mirth.
"Ah," Xander nodded his head knowingly. < Cordelia. Of course. Who wouldn 't love Cordelia though? Hell, I loved her for a while there. > "Well, anyway, not really interested in talking about Deadboy's love life. I think you were eating that brownie?" He grinned, motioning towards the brownie with his fork.
Willow laughed playfully. "You just like it when I'm all sexual."
Xander shrugged, looking down sheepishly. "I'm a guy, Wills. What would you expect?"
She smiled, winking at him. "Goddess, Xander," she moaned, "this is *so* good, the way it tastes, the way it slides down my throat. . .and you know I swallow *all* of it that I can. . ."
Xander groaned, covering his face, images of Willow sucking him off and swallowing it all dancing behind his eyes. "You are evil. Evil, evil."
"No, love, I thought the soul was pretty innocent."
"But the demon, babe, pure evil. And you are enjoying every moment."
"As if you aren't," Willow laughed, reaching over to run her fingertips along his arm.
"You got me there. I'm having a great time, working up all the sexual tension."
Willow smirked, her eyebrow rising. "You are on a cruise. Someone on here is bound to sleep with you, if you want to. . ."
"Yea," Xander smirked, licking his lips. "I'm sure someone will."
Part 2
Xander stumbled into the room he shared with Angel. He and the older vampire had the double bunk room, while Willow and Spike shared the room next to them. He shut the door, glancing around the dark room. The makeshift curtain had been tacked up over the porthole, keeping the sun out.
He and Willow had continued eating desserts till Xander thought he was going to burst. Willow had faked three orgasms to Xander's embarrassment, even though he was convinced that one of them was real. She was enjoying the chocolate far too much.
They left the dining room to walk out to the deck, to watch the inky night and the dark ocean. She sat between his legs, her wrapped up in his arms. They watched the moon, talking in hushed tones. Her cool body against his warm one was bringing back the sexual tension that he thought he'd finally gotten rid of. As the night wore on, and he got drunker and drunker (Willow convinced him he needed a drink or seven), he began to coo to Willow, telling her that he imagined that Angel's body would be as cool as she was against him, and how much he would love to feel the older vampire's body against his.
Finally, before the sun came up, Willow led him back to his room, telling him he needed to sleep off the alcohol.
"Deadboy!" Xander hissed, swaying slightly, glancing at the still form in the other bed. He leaned against the door behind him. "Deadboy, you awake?"
Angel lay motionless, thankful that as a vampire, he could do that. He could smell the alcohol and the arousal on Xander. It saddened him to know that the human had found a girl to sleep with. He would have been thrilled to be the one that took care of him.
"Damn it, I was hoping you were awake. Need to talk." He went to his bed and flopped down, laying spread eagle on the bed. "Damn, too hot in here." He sat up and stripped his clothes off, finally laying back in only his boxers.
Angel shifted, turning over. He slowly opened his eyes and blinked in shock. Xander was laying on top of the covers, in black silk boxers, his hand on his chest. His eyes were closed and his mouth was slightly open as he was breathing deep.
"Mmm. . ." Xander murmured sleepily, his hand rubbing soothing circles on his chest. "So Wills and I ate desserts. She's such a cute little tramp, I swear. She was getting me worked up in the dining room. From eating chocolate. She was acting all horny. . ." His laughter echoed through the room. "She's beautiful as a Deadgirl." His hand traveled down his body, pulling his soft cock out of his boxers. He sighed contently, stroking himself, slowly getting hard as he relived his night to a vampire he thought was asleep.
"So then we sit on the deck, in one of those lounge chairs and she's against me, and I'm all but wrapped around her, and we are watching the moon. . .I love Willow, you know that, Deadboy, don't you? Of course you do."
Angel's heart dropped, thinking that Xander was in love with Willow.
"It was incredible. Her body, it was cool to the touch, felt so good through my clothes, and I kept wondering. . .I wanted to know how it would feel to have skin to skin with a vampire, how would you feel against me, stretched out on top of me, stroking me with your strong hands, rubbing your cock against my thigh. . ." He arched his back slightly, surging to his full length at the thought of being with Angel.
Angel sat up in shock. < He wants me! He *wants* me. And I want him. I wonder. . . > A slow smile spread across his lips. He moved quietly towards the bed Xander was stroking himself on.
"Xander," he whispered in Xander's ear.
Xander moaned slightly, never opening his eyes. "Angel," he murmured breathlessly. "Angel, are you asleep?"
"Do you want me to be?" he whispered, trailing his fingers along Xander's chest.
"Yea," Xander whispered. "Because if you were awake, you wouldn't be here, you wouldn't be touching me. . .and I just want you to touch me."
Angel ran his tongue along Xander's neck. "You want me to?" he whispered against the mortal's skin.
Xander arched his back, a ragged moan escaping from his lips. "Please. . ." he begged.
Angel traced the human's jaw line with his tongue, finally moving to his lips. He captured them in a passionate kiss, one of burning desire.
~*~
Xander moaned softly, his hangover making him ill. Between the rocking of the cruise ship, and the tiny men dancing on his head, he knew he was going to be sick.
He turned over, paling slightly when he realized that he'd rolled away from a body. < Oh my god, I slept with someone. I can't believe I slept with someone. I can't believe *Willow* let me sleep with someone. Where the hell am I? Oh my god, oh my god. . . > He felt behind him, blinking in shock when he came in contact with a semi-hard cock.
Suddenly, the night's adventures rushed back to his mind. A dark haired man, bathed in shadows, sucking him off, then flipping him over and pounding into him. < Oh my god, oh my god, oh my god. > He closed his eyes and tried to keep the tears from falling. It wasn't that Xander Harris was opposed to sleeping with a man, he wasn't. He just wanted the first man he was with to be Angel. Perhaps Spike, if Willow were there.
The body behind him stretched slightly, wrapping his arm around Xander's waist. A nose pushed against the back of Xander's neck, a long cool tongue shooting out to lick the top of his spine. Xander resisted the urge to shudder in pleasure, thought everything he could to keep from getting hard. "Xander," the man's deep voice whispered in his ear, "where are you going? I thought you promised we'd stay in bed for at least 48 hours."
Xander whimpered slightly. < I was drunk, please, god, please just let me go. > "I. . ." Xander stammered.
The door flew open and Xander yelped, pulling the covers up to his neck. He blinked at the person, surprised it was Willow, instead of some crazy girlfriend ready to kill her boyfriend for fucking another guy. "Willow?" Xander asked confused. "Wills. . ."
Willow's eyes widened. "Xander!" she exclaimed playfully. She leaned back, looking down the hall. "Spikey! Come here! You have *got* to see this! They are *too* cute together!"
Spike appeared in the doorway, running his fingers through white blonde hair. A dark eyebrow rose. "So he slept with the bloody Poof. Who cares? I need to get *out* of these small rooms and walk around, or I'm going to kill something. You know that I will. I'll do it, Red, I'll kill the next stupid bloke that walks by."
"The. . .Poof?" Xander asked, twisting in his new lover's arms. He blinked in mild shock, meeting dancing chocolate eyes. "Deadboy?" he whispered.
Angel frowned, pulling away slightly. He could feel the confusion and horror rolling off of Xander. "Oh. . .damn," he said. "Xander, I'm. . ." He blinked again, then sat up. He ran his fingers through his hair. He crawled out of bed. "I'm sorry, Xander, when you came in and you were babbling about wanting me. . .I. . .and then. . ."
"My god. He's actually bloody apologizing for shagging someone." Spike shook his head sadly. "I never thought I'd see the day." He turned and walked away from the room and down the hall.
Willow frowned, looking at Xander sadly. "I've got to make sure Spike doesn 't kill anyone. Come find us when you finally get up, ok?" she whispered, shutting the door.
Xander watched as Angel paced back and forth, the situation settling in on the brooding vampire's face. He looked pained, and knew that he shouldn't have done what he did, that he should have fought the urges of taking the youth to heights he's never been to. He turned to Xander. "Xander, I'm. . ."
"Naked," Xander said, licking his lips. He sat up. < Fuck it. Apparently, he wanted this too, and god knows that I did, and have for a while. . . >
Angel looked down, then back up to Xander. "Oh, yea, I'll get dressed." He moved to his bed to cover himself.
"Deadboy," Xander said sternly.
Angel stopped, turning his head to look at Xander. "What?" he asked quietly, the guilt pouring from the word.
"So that's it? You wake up from having an incredible night of sex, and get all broody and get dressed and then that's all? You don't expect me to want this? To want you?" Xander asked quietly, not able to hold back his feelings. He wanted the vampire, wanted to be possessed by him, wanted to possess him.
"You. . .want this?" Angel asked.
Xander smirked, the former feelings of illness nowhere in his mind. He threw the covers away from his body, his hand wrapping around his quickly hardening shaft. "What does it look like to you?" he smirked.
Angel drank in the sight of Xander laying there on his bed, sprawled out and naked, his right hand stroking his thick rod, his left arm thrown over his forehead, and those dark eyes watching him intently. Angel licked his lips, all thoughts of shame flying out the window. He wanted Xander, had wanted the man for so long. "Now what?" he asked, his voice growing husky.
Xander's eyes closed as his hand gripped his cock tightly and he started to pound faster. "I think. . ." he murmured breathlessly, "I think I promised 48 hours in bed. . ."
Angel smirked, moving towards the bed. "Mmm. . .I believe you did. . .but it could have been longer. . ."
Xander cried out and thrust up when his hand was moved and a cool mouth replaced the hold on his dick. "Oh god," he shuddered. "As. . .as long as you want, Deadboy. . .as long as you want."
The End