***
Spike was sitting in a bathtub full of hot bubbly water, soaking himself free of the dirt and dust, reinvigorating his body in preparation of worshipping his redheaded goddess when Giles and Olivia walked into the mansion. They had knocked on the front door but Spike ignored them in the hopes they would go away. Of course they didn't. Willow had mentioned before she left for college that the watcher may be calling by to drop off a few books that he wanted her to have a look at. Giles wasn't Spike's favourite person at the moment. Willow had practically spent the whole weekend at the watchers thanks to the latest demon scare, helping with research. Giles had also voiced a number of concerns in regards to her relationship with Spike and also the depravity and insanity of him moving back into the mansion. Much to Spike's surprise she'd told the watcher, in an incredibly polite but not to be argued with way, to mind his own business. Spike had cheered her on silently and when they had finally returned to the mansion just before sunrise he had shown his appreciation of her spunk. So Spike was quite happy to let the watcher and his piece of fluff think they were alone in the mansion while he eaves dropped on their conversation from the bathtub, surrounded by the smell of raspberries.
"Well, Spike's certainly been...creative..." murmured Giles, taking
in the various changes in the front room of the mansion. His eyes
fell on the sledgehammer.
"That's my sledgehammer...the bastard didn't even ask!"
"Creative?" asked Olivia breaking away from Giles to look around the vast room and through the archways that Spike had made while taking out various walls. Huge comfy blue brush cotton sofa's sat in what she would consider the main entertainment area, gathered around a large screen television and stereo system. Everything looked relaxed and comfortable, she'd almost wish that Giles would get some decorating tips from the blonde. "This is really nice."
"Hmmm...I suppose. I don't think Angel would approve though. I guess that doesn't really matter," he mused out loud. Upstairs in the bathtub Spike twisted his face and stuck his fingers up in defiance of the watchers words. "I wonder where he is. Spike?"
"Maybe he's not here," suggested Olivia.
"No, I'm not. So sod off you stupid old fart," muttered Spike, listening as they continued their ramblings. There was no way he was getting out of the bath just to go make nice with the watcher. Knowing his luck he'd be stuck with the old sod until Willow came back from college and then some. "Drop the books and fuck off!" "Let's look upstairs." Spike bolted up straight in the bathtub. "No, don't bloody well look up stairs!" But of course they did and Spike continued to let them think they were alone.
"Well this is..." Giles began in awe of the massive and luxurious living quarters that the bedroom had been extended to.
"Gorgeous!" exclaimed Olivia, practically turning green with envy.
Giles turned to look at her, slightly taken back by the sight of her nearly drooling. "Really? I was thinking more along the lines of extravagant," he stated following her over to the bed. "I wonder where he got the money..."
"Oh could you imagine making love in this bed? It's huge you could..."
Giles didn't hear the rest of what Olivia was saying. Making love in this bed. It was all he needed to hear for Ripper to pop up and remind him that revenge is sweet. Quietly he walked up behind Olivia, his hands rubbing against her arms, his lips caressing her throat.
"Why do we have to imagine?" he asked her softly as he turned her about, smiling wickedly.
"Ripper you can't possibly be suggesting..."
"Not in my bloody bed he better not be," muttered Spike leaning back in the bathtub quietly. Closing his eyes he listened to Olivia giggling and the heavy breathing sounds of Giles while he considered his options. He could charge out to the bedroom tell them in no uncertain terms to fuck off, or rather go home and fuck, and run the risk of getting stuck with them until Willow came home. Or he could stay in the bathroom and let the watcher have his five minutes of fun, change the sheets and never think of it again. He decided to stay in the bathroom. Sighing in resignation he reached out and grabbed a cigarette, lit it and relaxed back in the hot water. Half an hour later the pack of cigarettes was empty, the water was luke warm and they were still fucking in the bedroom.
"Viagra, he's got to be on viagra..." muttered Spike shaking his head in disbelief. Not able to take sitting in the water anymore he eased himself out of the tub and towelled off. One thing was certain, he was sick of Olivia. She seemed to be moaning in an octave, working her way up the scale with each moan and thrust, then working her way back down. Had he wanted to he could have sung "Do, Re, Me" to her moans. Pulling on his jeans he wandered over to the door, his hand hovering above the handle, and hesitated. The moans were becoming more frantic, Giles grunts held more force. Shrugging Spike dropped his hand. What was another five minutes? Not a lot...if it had been another five minutes.
"Oh Ripper," screamed Olivia in sheer orgasmic pleasure.
"Oh god," grunted Giles in reply.
"Oh please!" spat Spike, hands clutching his head, elbows resting against his drawn up knees. He'd sat down against the door some thirty minutes back, tired of standing up and listening to the two grunting and groaning individuals.
"Come on you bloody fool, she's reached that illusive precipice...shoot your load, go home and make us all happy." Unfortunately for Spike they continued to grunt and groan, hot sweaty flesh slipping and slapping against each other, their breathing nothing more than gasping shudders. Spike grimaced as he listened, glancing up at the clock Willow insisted on having in the bathroom, they'd been shagging like rabbits for the last hour and a half. With Spike locked in the bathroom. "Oh bloody hell, this is ridiculous..." Spike muttered to himself standing up and opening the bathroom door. Since he had rearranged the whole room he got a clear view of the bed and the copulating couple. If he'd ever wondered what the watcher's ass looked like he was certainly getting a good view now. All he could see was white flesh framed by chocolate brown and Giles' buttocks clenching and unclenching with every thrust. Spike's face fell away in disgust as Olivia's hand came down to grab at those undulating, thrusting buttocks and she screamed out "Ripper" again, pulling herself up and looking blindly over Giles' shoulder.
"Fuck," muttered Spike moving back into the bathroom, closing the door and starting to pace. "Come on, you can't keep this up for much longer...or else you're going to have a coronary old man..." So he continued to pace for the next twenty minutes his concern over the watchers health changing into fervent wishes that the silly old sod would just drop dead on top of his shagging partner...wouldn't be the first time something had died in that bed. He glanced up at the clock again, ten minutes until Willow would be walking through the front door. Spinning around he prepared to open the door to go break up the happily bonking couple, not wanting Willow to walk in on them, when he heard the sweetest sound in the world.
"Oh Ripper," screamed Olivia, her voice hoarse from her repetitive musical groans.
"Oh YESSSSSSSSSSS!" hissed Giles before gurgling like a happy baby.
"Oh thank god," exclaimed Spike throwing his hands up in the air. Moving back to the door he rested his forehead against it, waiting and listening as the two sex fiends regained their breath and clothes before giggling and making a quick exit. "About bloody time."
Cracking the door open he took a quick peek to make sure they had really left, although he'd heard the front door close behind them on their way out he just needed to be sure...his eyes wouldn't be able to handle seeing Giles' ass again, as it was he was certain the image had been burnt into his retina's. As he stepped out into the main room he wrinkled his nose in disgust. The smell of sex, sweat and midlife crisis hung heavy in the air. "At least we changed the sheets you bloody tosspot," cursed Spike striding toward the bed. He stopped mid stride as he heard the front door open and groaned. "Great they've come back for a second round." Wildly he glanced about the bedroom, thinking that maybe they had forgotten something. He couldn't see anything and spun to face the door as footsteps approached.
"Willow," Spike exclaimed as his redheaded goddess walked in, dumping her bag and walking directly to him.
"Hello Spike," she breathed, her hands running over his naked chest, using her body to back him towards the bed. Her lips locked with his and she pushed him back onto the bed, straddling his lap, one hand resting on his chest.
"Love, I...we..." Spike pulled back from her, trying to think of the best way to tell her why he was currently sitting in a wet patch. "No..."
"What?" Willow frowned at him.
"Why don't we..." Spike was debating what to say when Willow smiled and kissed him. Leaning over him, her hand pressing hard against his chest, she pushed him back and balanced herself by putting her free hand onto the bed. In the middle of a wet patch. Her eyes widened and she looked at Spike.
"Why is the bed...wet?" "The watcher shagged his piece of fluff senseless on it." Spike winced at the confession, Olivia's musical moans and the sight of Giles pale pulsating buttocks humping away were still haunting him.
"It was horrible...I was stuck in the bathroom for hours..." Willow's face blanched, the faint traces of colour disappearing leaving it nothing more than a mask of white. Then she frowned before curling her lips back in revulsion.
"Eww..." she exclaimed looking down at the bed, her eyes widening in horror as she realised exactly what her hand was resting in. Immediately she drew it back and jumped up off the bed, holding her hand at arms length, her face twisting in repulsion. "I mean that's just....eww...." she hissed wiping her hand on a dry patch and pulling Spike back up onto his feet. "At least we changed the sheets at Giles...oh that's just eww."
For the first time in his entire existence Spike couldn't think of a better description for the grotesqueness of the situation. Willow was breathing hard, looking at her favourite set of midnight blue satin sheets, unwanted images of Giles and Olivia playing in her mind.
"I think we should perhaps..."
"Burn them," stated Spike reaching out and pulling the offending sheets off the bed.
"Yes," agreed Willow stepping back so she didn't have to touch them.
"Its just so eww..."