Spike slammed the shot glass down on the bar.

"Another one of these... and a pint"

"A pint? Are you sure?" Willie raised an eyebrow.

"Don't look at me in that tone of voice" Spike snarled back. "Yes, I'm
sure".

"Well, okay... but don't blame me if it all goes to your hips..." Willie
barely got time to put the carton of Ben & Jerry's Chocolate Chip Cookie
Dough ice cream down on the bar before Spike snatched it out of his hand.

"Where's the spoon?" he demanded.

"Coming... coming... sheesh..."

"... and where's my shot? Just can't get the bloody staff these days."

"Right here... keep your hair on..." Willie put the spoon and the
whiskey down on the bar and backed off quickly.

He didn't get far before the empty glass had been slammed down on the
bar again with a demand for another.

"Here. Just take the damn bottle... in fact... take two!"

"Oh. Cheers mate!" Spike raised one bottle and nodded at Willie, while
putting the other into one of the pockets of the duster, grabbing the
ice cream and spoon and heading out into the dark night.

"Damn, not enough hands..." Spike held the spoon in his mouth while he
put the bottle he was holding into his other pocket, and ripped the top
off the ice cream carton, throwing it aside.

"Oooooh Yeah. I'm bad. I throw litter and don't care. That's me. The big
bad litter demon."

"I see you there. Come to daddy you lovely piece of cookie dough..."
Spike said as he began to wander, a little unsteadily, in the direction
of the crypt, lost in thought and ice cream, not even noticing the fact
that it had started to rain. At least, not until the ice cream started
to fill up with water.

Holding the melting ice cream in the tub with the back of the spoon, he
tipped out the water and kept eating, repeating the action whenever the
current mouthful had more rain than ice cream in it. He'd almost
finished the tub by the time he got to the door of the crypt.

"Ahhh. Home sweet home" he muttered as he kicked the door open.

"Honey! I'm home!"

The words echoed round the empty crypt.

"Oh yeah. That's right. She turned me down."

He shrugged off the duster and cringed inwardly as he began to remember
the evenings events. The whole thing had just been a disaster. She
wasn't supposed to say no. She was supposed to fall into his arms, but
somehow it hadn't quite worked out like that. Neither, for that matter,
had Willow's plan of going to talk to her.

He wondered what Willow was doing now. The last he remembered was her
running off past him. He hoped she'd got home okay and felt a twang of
guilt that he hadn't gone after her to make sure she was safe.

As he reached into the pockets of the duster and took out the bottles he
realised that he really wanted to be with her, talking stuff over,
instead of drowning his sorrows in single malt, but he didn't know how
he could do that any more.

No matter what he did, it was going to cause a problem. He didn't know
if he could go on the way he had been, as if nothing had happened, not
now he knew how much pain it was causing her... and if he let her know
that he knew, then he'd risk losing her friendship entirely. It would
kill her to know that he'd heard. He knew only too well how much it had
probably cost her to blurt it out like that, and knowing that he'd
overheard, she would be mortified beyond belief. Then there was the
problem of how to tell her that he didn't return her feelings.

Lifting the bottle to his lips he realised it was empty and threw it
roughly to one side, hearing it smash in a far corner of the crypt.
Reaching for the other bottle, he drank deeply from it, waiting for the
alcohol to erase the vivid scenes playing out in his head.

Draining the second bottle, he threw that against the wall too, smiling
at the noise it made.

"Too damn quiet in here" he muttered as he swayed over to the battery
operated radio that Willow had given him a few weeks before. Smiling to
himself at the thoughtfulness of her gesture, he turned it on, and
frowned as he tried to figure out what the music that was currently
playing was.

"You're listening to the Classic Rock hour, here on KZAC 77.2" the dj's
smooth voice poured from the speaker.
The frown was replaced by another smile. He remembered that she liked
this station and had set it up for him, because it had a weekly "Brit
Hour" where he could hear some of his favourite tunes.

"'Spose Classic Rock is better than that bloody rubbish that passes as
music these days" he muttered to himself as he swayed towards the chair
and sat down heavily in it, pulling the blanket over him.

/ I can't fight this feeling any longer
And yet I'm still afraid to let it flow
What started out as friendship, has grown stronger
I only wish I had the strength to let it show

I tell myself that I can't hold out forever
I said there is no reason for my fear
Cause I feel so secure when we're together
You give my life direction
You make everything so clear /

As he felt the alcohol begin to take effect, he was only dimly aware of
the lyrics of the song coming from the radio, but he closed his eyes and
drifted off to sleep as the music washed soothingly over him.

/ And even as I wander
I'm keeping you in sight
You're a candle in the window
On a cold, dark winter's night
And I'm getting closer than I ever thought I might

And I can't fight this feeling anymore
I've forgotten what I started fighting for
It's time to bring this ship into the shore
And throw away the oars, forever /

As he slept, he began to dream... his mind replaying the scenes of the
day, with a different ending.

/ Cause I can't fight this feeling anymore
I've forgotten what I started fighting for
And if I have to crawl upon the floor
Come crushing through your door
Baby, I can't fight this feeling anymore

My life has been such a whirlwind since I saw you
I've been running round in circles in my mind
And it always seems that I'm following you, girl
Cause you take me to the places that alone I'd never find

And even as I wander I'm keeping you in sight
You're a candle in the window on a cold, dark winter's night
And I'm getting closer than I ever thought I might

And I can't fight this feeling anymore
I've forgotten what I started fighting for
It's time to bring this ship into the shore
And throw away the oars, forever

Cause I can't fight this feeling anymore
I've forgotten what I started fighting for
And if I have to crawl upon the floor
Come crushing through your door
Baby, I can't fight this feeling anymore. /

"Oh Buffy... I can't fight this feeling anymore... I love you, so much"
he moaned as he rolled over, still blissfully dreaming.

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