This one's quite a bit more angsty.
************************************************************
Willow and Xander exhaled in relief as they leaned against
the front door.  They
had just shut it behind Buffy, who was off to patrol.  They
had gotten her to agree to
leave by convincing her that they needed some "sweaty fun
time" together.  Buffy was
still suspicious, but she had been willing to let it go for
the evening.
Willow looked at her tired best friend. "Thanks for you
help."
"No problem.  Just call me the 'vampire wrangler.'"
"Speaking of. . ." She said and then she raced up the
stairs to her room. She hoped
she wouldn't find two piles of dust in her closet.  She was
a little surprised that they
hadn't come out on their own.  Willow swung open the closet
door.
"Ohhh. . .Willow" Angel said, slipping in to his deep
brogue in his drunken
stooper.  "Bonny lass. . .come here."  He clutched an empty
bottle of what was once wine
in one hand, motioning for her to come closer with the
other.  She had pilfered two
bottles of wine from her father's wine cellar right after
she'd broken up with Oz.  She
wanted the alcohol to dull the pain, but after drinking the
first bottle, she had found that
it just made her sick.
"Red, did Slutty leave?" Spike asked.  His pulled his
duster off of his head and
threw it on the floor. Willow saw Spike's empty flask lying
beside it.
"Yes, Buffy left. " She confirmed.  Great.  Two drunk
vampires.  This was the just
the best night ever.
Spike crawled out of the closet on his hands and knees and
collapsed at her feet.
He ran a cool white hand up her leg.  "Naked under there?"
This caught Angel's interest.  "Ye are, wee lassie?"  He
stood slowly, clutching the
wall for support as he reached for her.
"Stop that!" Willow stepped back and pulled her robe
tighter around her waist.
Xander walked in, he held his keys in his hand.  "I just
called my house, Wills.
Anya is kinda mad at me, right now.  I seriously hope Buffy
didn't go over there and
blab to her.  You don't mind if I-"
"Go on, I'll be fine Xander. I hope everything's alright."
 He hesitated as he
looked at Spike and Angel. "They've been drinking so much,
they'll probably pass out
soon.  You don't have to worry about me."
Xander's eyes rested briefly on Spike's sprawled form.  He
thought about taking
the vampire back home with him, Xander would never publicly
admit this, but Spike
was beginning to grow on him.  He also knew that the blond
vampire was protective of
Willow, an unlikely bodyguard at best but better than
nothing. The idea of leaving
Willow alone with Angel was unthinkable. "Call me if you
need help, Wills.!" She
nodded, he kissed her cheek, and then left the room.
Angel tottered over and wrapped his arms around her.  "Yer
hair is so. . .so. .
.shiny."  He leaned on her heavily, swaying on his feet.
"Uh, Angel, why don't you lie down?" She was afraid he
would fall over.
Angel's eyes met hers.  "Thought ye'd never ask."  He
pushed her so that she fell
unto the bed and then he staggered over to lay down on top
of her.  Willow managed to
keep him from crushing her.
"No, Angel!  We can't do this!" The last thing she wanted
was a visit from
Angelus.
Spike was trying to pull himself off the floor by holding
onto the bed.  "I. . .save
you. . .Red.  Hold on."
Angel buried his face in her neck, nuzzling her.  "Smell
so good."
"Angel?"  No response.  "Angel?"  Nothing.  He had passed
out.  She slid out
from beneath him, to see Spike on his knees beside the bed.

"Couldn't save you. . .can't get up." He looked
distraught.  " He. . . hurt you?"
"No," She said softly.  She reached a hand out to touch
the face of her would-be
protector.
He closed his eyes, savoring her touch.  "Good.  Never
want you. . . be hurt by
him."
Tears pricked her eyes.  "I know." She kneeled down and
wrapped her arms
around his waist, assisting him to his feet. "Come on,
let's get you in bed."
"Whatcha gonna do with me when we get there?" Even drunk,
Spike was
oversexed.   He leaned on her as they made slow progress to
the other side of the bed.
Once, there, he lay down heavily.  "Bloody head hurts."  He
closed his eyes, drifting into
sleep rapidly.  He didn't even notice he fell asleep next
to Angel.
Willow pulled all the shades in her room and turned off
the lights.  She paused at
the door.  "Goodnight." She whispered to the sleeping
vampires.
                              *******
Angel rolled over in bed, his hand brushed against smooth
skin.  His head rested
on a soft pillow, and he inhaled deeply. He'd know that
scent anywhere. Willow.  He
was in Willow's bed so he must still be dreaming. He
blindly reached out again, trailing
a fingertip over Willow's supple skin.
Spike felt someone touch his arm and then one finger skim
the length of it.  He
was curled on his side, facing the covered windows of Red's
room.  He chuckled
inwardly  - naughty little witch, feeling him up while he
slept.  Well, he'd let her.  He
wondered how far she'd go. What a way to wake up!
Angel moved closer to the huddled figure on the bed.  He
still kept his eyes
closed, convinced he was in the middle of one his dreams.
He put his mouth against her
ear.  "I want you so much.  Just let me-"
"ARRRRGHH!!" A very male voice bellowed. Angel opened his
eyes to see a livid
Spike.
"Keep your filthy hands to yourself, poof!  What THE HELL
were you trying to
do to me?" He jumped off the bed and held up his hands as
if to ward him off.  "Never
mind.  I KNOW what you were trying to do."
"Spike!" Angel exclaimed.  "It isn't what you think.  I
would never-"
"Damn straight.  You will NEVER do that with me. EVER!
Got it?" Spike
rounded the bed and grabbed his duster from the floor to
wrap around himself.  "I've
been violated!"
"I'm sorry, Spike." Angel said through gritted teeth.  "I
thought you were
Willow."
Spike was over his initial shock, and enjoying Angel's
discomfort.  "Oh, sure. .
.like you're so choosy at this point."
"Spike, I wasn't trying to molest you."
"Oh, sure!  You've had your eye on me ever since I showed
up in Sunnydale with
my hair dyed blond. We all know you have a thing for
blonds, poof.   Slutty and Darla?
I know I'm a handsome bloke, but you should try to control
yourself."
"Are you guys awake?" Came a shout from downstairs. Willow
was awake.
Angel sent a beseeching look at Spike.  "Let's just keep
this to ourselves."
Spike's smile was earnest.  "Of course, Angel.  I'll keep
your dirty little secret."
"We'll be right down, Willow." Angel stalked out of the
room.  Spike was right on
his heels, his hands behind his back, his fingers were
crossed.
                              *******
Willow sat at the kitchen table, munching on a bowl of
cereal.  "Good morning."
She said as the two vampires filed in.  She gestured to
four mugs that were set at two
places.  "Coffee and heated blood.  Dig in."
"Like the cereal, Red?"
"You bought this?" She asked, lifting a spoonful. He
nodded and she laughed. "I
should have known."  It was Count Chocula cereal.
"Aren't the tiny bats cute?" He asked, then took a drink
from one his mugs.
"Have you ever eaten it?" She asked before she took
another bite.
"Nope.  Can I have a taste?  See if I like it?"  She
spooned up some and was about
to hand the utensil to him when he opened his mouth wide.
With a gamine grin, she
spooned it into his mouth.
His hand closed around hers as she removed it.  He looked
into her eyes as he
licked a droplet of milk from it. "Simply mouth-watering."
Willow managed a weak smile as she pulled her unsteady
hand back.  Was it
suddenly hot in here?
Angel cleared his throat loudly.  "Can I have a taste,
too?"
"No, it belongs to me."
Angel knew Spike wasn't talking about the cereal.  He
leaned over to Willow.
"I'm sorry, darling.  I forgot to give you a good morning
kiss."  His mouth seized hers in
a lengthy kiss. They were both winded when they drew
apart."
"Careful Red.  You don't know where he's been." Spike
swirled the coffee around
in his mug and then took a sip.  "After the dust buster
incident, you might find some
dust bunnies in there."
"What?"  Willow stared at Angel. "Did you have some sort
of accident while
cleaning . . .?" Angel could only stare back in mute
horror. Spike wouldn't tell Willow. . .
"And I'm lucky you yelled when you did this morning.  He
was about to take
advantage of me while I was sleeping!"
He would.  Angel threw a hand over his eyes. He should
have known better than
to trust the blond demon's word. "Spike, I thought you were
going to keep that between
us." Angel growled, chagrined.
"Goddess!"  Willow's jaw dropped.  She had read in some of
Giles' more ribald
vampire research that the undead were often bisexual. But
now she had proof!  Giles
would be fascinated - if she could find a way to tell him
without revealing Angel's
identity and how she had found out.
"No!  I thought you were . . .I mean, that he was . . .I
was half asleep-He's
twisting everything around."  Angel clutched at her hand
desperately.
"Now, Peaches.  There's absolutely nothing to be
embarrassed about. Be proud of
your sexuality, embrace it!"  He patted Angel's shoulder
briefly.  "Now, this is going to
hurt.  I know I'm wildly attractive.  Must be that animal
magnetism I give off.   But I'm
just not interested in you. Try to pick up the pieces and
move on with your life."
Angel reached over and grabbed Willow by the shoulders.
"Darling, I woke up in
your bed and I just assumed it was you lying next to me.  I
thought one of my dreams
had come true."
Awww.  "It's one of your dreams to wake up next to me?"
She gave him a hug.
Angel shot Spike a triumphant grin over her shoulder.
Building on his momentum, he
said. "I'm so sorry our date was ruined last night.  I feel
bad asking you this, but can you
skip classes today?  We could spend the whole day
together."
She pulled back to look at him.  She knew that she
shouldn't miss class, but she
just couldn't resist.  "Yes, I think that would be fun. I
could run over to the market and
get something good for dinner-"
"I was thinking that we could go to my hotel room.  You
could drive my car with
me covered up in the backseat.  Then,  I could order room
service for you.  We could
have some ALONE time."
"Absolutely not, Peaches!"  Spike bellowed.
"I didn't ask you, Spike." Angel growled.
Spike turned to look meaningfully at Willow.  "He's
already talking about the
back seat, luv.  That's not a good sign! The next thing you
know,  boom!  It's the road
trip from Hell with Angelus."
"I think's it's a very good idea." Willow said.  She
ruffled Angel's hair and then
went off upstairs to change.
Angel gave Spike a victorious smile.  He picked up the
apron which lay
haphazardly across the back of a chair and tossed it at
Spike.  "Why don't you put this
on and make yourself useful by doing the dishes, my boy?"
Spike pulled the apron off his head and threw it back in
Angel's face. "I've a
better idea of where to put this. Why don't you stuff it up
your-"
                              *******
Spike knocked on Willow's bedroom door.  "Can I come in,
luv?"
"Yes, I'm completely covered up."
"Now that's a bloody shame." He entered the room and took
the hairbrush from
her hands.  "Don't go with him, luv."
"Why not?"
"I don't trust him."  He smoothed the brush through her
locks one time.  "He
doesn't know how to take care with a girl."
"Are you sure you're not just trying to win our little
bet?"  She joked.
He looked hurt a moment, then continued brushing out her
hair.  Occasionally, he
would brace his hand against her skull to prevent pulling
her hair when he untangled it.
"Think about it, luv.  First there was Darla.  No care
necessary.  She took care of him.
Then look at Dru.  Instead of looking after his childe, he
tormented her. Tortured her
until she was nearly broken, then watched her dangle for
kicks."  Spike swallowed back
the nausea that threatened at the thought.  "Finally, Dru
had to make a companion of her
own."
"You."  She stated gently.
"Me," he affirmed.
"But that was-"
"Angelus?"  He shook his head.  "He hasn't changed.  You
think Buffy needed
that much TLC?  Why do you think she was so attractive to
him?"  He handed her the
brush.  "Don't you think he used her? That being up close
and personal to the slayer
made him feel like he was working towards some kind of
twisted redemption?"
She turned to look at him.  "So you're saying that I'm
weak?  I'm not his type?"
"No. You're exactly his type."  The words hit with precise
impact.  "More so than
Buffy.  You can take care of yourself and the whole world
besides.  Your Xander's
companion, Buffy's therapist, Giles's assistant.  You're
exactly what everyone needs.  But
beyond that, you don't hog the spotlight like that little
blond twit.  You don't need
special titles or destiny or training.  You do what you can
because that's who you are."
He paused to cup her face and look into her eyes.  "And.
You. Never.  Expect. Anything.
Back."
A tear slipped down her face.  She studied his face for
artifice, for cunning. She
found understanding.  Not empathy, sympathy, or pity.  Just
understanding.  "Go
ahead, luv.  Go with him."  He kissed the tips of his
fingers and wiped the tears away.
"See for yourself."
"That's it?  No refusals?"
"If you'd like to take the time to convince me . . ."
Spike offered with a carnal
smile. He was serious once more.  "However, I'd like to
make two requests."
"One?"
"Since today is his, tonight is mine."
"Done."  She smiled.  "And two?"
"From now on you keep our mornings just us."
"Agreed."  She kissed him on the cheek and then on the
mouth.  It was a kiss that
held passion and comfort.   "See you tonight."  She walked
out of the room and made it
to the bottom of the stairs before what he said struck her.
How many more mornings does
he think we'll have?
                             ********
Willow held the drawing in her trembling hand.  The
portrait was a close-up on
her sleeping face.  "It's b-beautiful, Angel."
Angel sat in one of the overstuffed chairs, his knowing
eyes watched the play of
emotions across her face. "Willow," he said softly.  "I
drew that picture.  Not Angelus. It
was done yesterday."
"Oh.  I'm so sorry. It's just the last time I saw one of
these-"
"I was trying to kill you." His eyes were hooded,
concealing the guilt and grief
that tore through him. Would his past ever set him free?
"Not you. Angelus did all those things."Willow said.
"Willow, I'm sure you realize that on a rational level.
But, sometimes. . .
sometimes when you look at me, you see him don't you?"
"The same face. . ." She said helplessly.
"But not the same person."  He pulled her down to sit
facing him.  He took her
hands in his and placed them on his knee.  "I'm so sorry
for-"
"Shhh." She said, placing a fingertip to his mouth.  "You
have nothing to be sorry
for.  Angelus tried to kill me once.  But you saved me, you
saved all of us so many times."

"Do you trust me?"
"Yes." And no.   Willow added silently.  She looked at the
drawing again.  "The
way you show the light and shadows in the work. You're very
talented."
He smiled.  "You like it?"
"Oh, yes.  No one's ever drawn me before! The way you see
me. . .I feel almost
beautiful." She ducked her head.
"That's because you are beautiful." He indicated the bed.
"Let me show you how
beautiful you really are."
"Angel, I don't think we-"
He chuckled.  "That's not what I was suggesting, darling."
His voice was raspy.
Not that he wouldn't love to touch every inch of her. He
restrained his body, this was Willow.
She could only be his friend, he shouldn't hope for more.
" I want to draw you, show
you how my eyes see you.  Just lay on the bed, sweetheart."
She bit her lip and walked to  Angel's big bed.  "How
should I pose?"
Angel considered this a moment.  "Lay on your side.
That's right, up on your
elbow." He walked over and handed her a pillow. "And relax.
 Don't try to force an
expression."  He took his sketching pad from the bureau
drawer and sat back down in
his chair.
"Angel, did you ever have Buffy pose for you?" For some
reason, she needed to
know.
"No, I never asked her." He said softly.  He worked
furiously, she could hear the
pencil scratching the paper.  Occasionally, he would glance
up and then grin at her.
When he was finished, he brought the drawing to her.  She
took it carefully from
him.  "Angel, I love it!" He had captured her more
whimsical side.  She had a slight
smile on her lips and her eyes were dancing with some
unknown mischief.
"I do too."  He pressed a kiss to the top of her head.
"I'd like for you to have it."
She turned up her face to speak to him but stopped when she
noticed his expression.
His eyes settled on her mouth and promptly turned to smoke.
 He was lost.  He lowered
his mouth to hers.  This kiss had nothing to do with the
bet.  Spike wasn't here to
observe, there were no excuses.
She pulled her mouth from his and said raggedly. "This is
getting out of hand.  I
never intended-"
"I know. Me either."  He pulled her hand against his chest
and pressed it to where
his heartbeat should have been.  "But it may be too late to
stop now.  And I'm not sure I
want to stop."
"I don't think we should see each other again." Willow
said.
"Is that what you really want?"
"No, but it is the right thing to do-"
"Right for who?"
"Buf-"
"Leave her out of this.  This is about you.  About me.
Don't you think we deserve
some sort of chance?"
"But we could never be together."
"No, Buffy and I could never be together. " He grasped her
arms and pulled her
closer so he could look her in the eye.  "Willow, Buffy and
I . . .it was a relationship
doomed from the start.   A vampire and a vampire slayer?
It was never meant to last.  I
am ashamed to say this. . .but I think that it was based on
our sexual attraction to each
other.  And maybe her status as the slayer.   Even my need
for redemption.  I loved her,
but I wasn't in love with her.  And when the physical
aspect was taken away. . .there
was nothing left.  Maybe there wasn't much there to begin
with."
Spike was right, he had used Buffy.  Perhaps unwittingly?
Willow closed her
eyes.  Did Angel and Angelus have more in common than she
had thought?  His
tormented face swam into her vision. No, those two were
nothing alike.   She couldn't
believe that his treatment of Buffy was a conscious
decision.  And as for Angelus. . . all
the misdeeds he had perpetrated on them didn't count.
Angel wasn't responsible for
that demon's actions.  "What are you saying exactly?"she
said finally.
"I'm saying that I could fall for you."  He brushed his
lips against hers.  "And as
frightening as that prospect is,  I would rather be sent
back to hell, then miss this
chance."
Willow took in a shuddering breath. Had Spike been right
about why Angel
desired her?  Did he want someone to take care of him?  Did
she even mind doing that?
He pulled her close, cradling her against his chest.  "Tell
me you don't want to."
"I can't!"  His lips came down on hers with an almost
crushing force.  His fingers
curled into her hair. When he broke the kiss, he was in
full vamp face.  Angel shut his
eyes, ready for her revulsion.  None came. He opened his
eyes, a tear ran down his
cheek.  She kissed it and moved her lips to the ridges that
stood out on his forehead.  "I
accept you, Angel.  Every part of you."  It was true. She
embraced the angel as well as
the demon.
His mouth descended again."Willow, my Willow."
                              *******
Willow watched Angel pull away from her house.  He had
been a little angry that
she had refused to spend the evening with him.  She had
promised Spike and was firm
in her denial.
She wrapped her arms around herself and walked up the
driveway slowly.  Her
feelings for Angel were more muddled than ever, she thought
she might be in love with
him.    They had spent a wonderful day together, touching
and kissing.  But never daring
to do more than that.  Angel had read aloud to her from a
book of Byron's poetry and
they had shared a meal together.  Neither of them spoke of
the bet, or of Buffy, or Spike.
Spike.  She looked at the lights shining in her windows
of her home.   She had felt
a persistent sense of guilt while being with Angel. As if
she were betraying Spike by
enjoying herself  She also thought that she might be in
love with Spike.  Willow shut her
eyes.  Was it possible to be in love with two people at one
time? Or what if these feelings
weren't even real?  What if she was simply reacting to Oz's
loss?  Reveling in the
attention of two handsome men. Willow found that she was
standing on her doorstep with no explanations.  She shook
her head.  Curiouser and Curiouser. . .

next