Rating: PG-13
Summary: Spike comes to "visit" Willow in her dorm room after escaping the underground lab.
Disclaimer: I own nothing and seek no profit from this story.
Distribution: nha, redssoulmates, SoG, WLS, Breathe ... all the usual places; anyone else please ask me first.
Spoilers through 'The Initiative' in season 4.
Feedback: Yes, please. It makes me all happy-like.
Dedication: To Gabrielle for her birthday and her patience.
A/N: This story is AU. Willow and Spike's relationship is slightly different because of an encounter during her junior year of high school. Because of that, I have changed a few things.
Thank you to Sophia and LaDy SiN, my wonderful betas.
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Willow lay on her bed listening to her 'broken-heart' music, just like she'd been doing the majority of the time since Oz left her. She hugged her little pillow and wistfully wished for some company. Buffy was still at the frat party. 'Probably hooking up with Riley," Willow thought.
The song began to repeat once more, and someone knocked on the door. "Come in," she called out.
"Hello, pet." Spike said as he burst through the door.
'Not that kind of company!' Willow thought as she jumped up and began looking around the room for a weapon. 'Oh crap," she thought as Spike began to move towards her, his eyes cold.
"Hey, Spike!" she said, trying to sound cheerful, hoping to keep him happy. "What do you want? A spell? I can do that ... work a spell for you."
Spike shook his head. "Nah, but thanks for the offer. I'm actually hungry at the moment."
Willow paled. "H-hungry?"
"Know where I can get a bite to eat, pet?" Spike asked with a grin.
"There's a blood bank down the street." Willow said, inching towards the door.
Spike wrapped his hand around her wrist, suddenly right beside her. "Going somewhere, Red?"
Willow gaped at him. "How did you--"
"Vampire speed." Spike said, leaning into her neck.
Willow was struck silent as he wrapped an arm around her waist, pulling her close. Even though she was scared, Willow found herself wanting to be closer to him- just like she always did in his presence. She fought the urge to bury her face in his shoulder, fought the need to seek comfort from him. 'He smells so good... I wonder if he knows that?' she thought.
She was snapped out of her thoughts as Spike ran his cold tongue up the side of her neck. Because she knew she should, she tried to jerk away, causing Spike to tighten his grip on her. "Now, pet ... I could kill you outright, or I could bring you back ... like me."
Willow stiffened. "I'll scream."
Spike grinned as he reached out and turned up her stereo. "Bonus."
He threw her down onto the bed and Willow's scream was lost in the blaring music. Spike loomed over her, his demon-visage glaring at her with intense yellow eyes. 'Oh Goddess, he's really going to kill me this time!' she thought as Spike's fangs grazed the tender skin of her neck. Willow gasped, her eyes closed. She felt Spike open his mouth wider and prepared herself for the pain to follow.
"Ow! Son of a bitch!" Spike shouted suddenly.
Willow's eyes snapped open. Spike was sitting on the edge of her bed clutching her head. "Spike?" she asked.
He lunged at her again and once more cried out in agony. "Sod it all to hell!"
"Spike?" Willow tried again.
"It hurts."
"What hurts?"
"My head. It hurts when I try to bite you."
"Oh."
"Yeah, oh! I've gone defective!"
"No, that can't be true. Spike you're a vampire. Vampire's bite people."
"I don't understand," Spike said. "This sort of thing's never happened to me before."
"Maybe you were nervous." Willow said, trying to comfort him.
"I felt all right when I started. Let's try again." Spike says suddenly, grabbing Willow and trying to bite her.
Spike once again screamed in agony and grabbed his head. Willow watched quietly until his pain subsided. "Spike? Are you okay now?"
"Damn it!" he exclaimed. "I just can't bite you!"
"Maybe you're trying too hard. Doesn't this happen to every vampire?" she asks.
"Not to me, it doesn't!" Spike insisted.
Willow was silent for a minute. "I don't think it's you, Spike. It's me." She whispered.
"What was that?" Spike asked.
"It's me," she said. "I'm not good enough."
Spike stared at her. "Why the bloody hell would you think that?"
Willow refused to look at him. "Well, you came looking for Buffy, then settled. You didn't want to bite me, I just happened to be around. I'm not good enough for anyone ... not Xander, not Oz ... why would I be good enough for you?"
Spike blinked. "What are you talking about? Not good enough? Says who? When? Why?"
"No one wants me."
"That's not true. I want..." Spike's voice trailed off as he realized what he was about to say.
Willow stared at him. 'He wants me? Was he about to say that? How could Spike possibly want me? I'm just plain old me...' she thought, her eyes wide.
"I"d drain you any day of the week, Red. Hell, I'd turn you if you fought me hard enough." Spike said, trying to distract her from his near slip.
Willow sighed, realizing he had meant he wanted to kill her. "Really? Cause, I know I'm not the kind of girl vamps like to sink their teeth into. It's always like, 'Oh, you're like a sister to me,' or, 'oh, you're such a good friend.'"
Spike narrowed his eyes. "You got a death wish, pet?"
"No," she said, looking for a bright side. "But that -- what you said -- it means you must have noticed me, right?"
"Noticed you? Bloody hell, Red. Someone sure worked a number on you. Of course I noticed you. I..."
Willow moved closer to him on the bed, craving the attention he was paying her. "Really?" she asked.
Spike nodded. "The night we met you were wearing a god-awful blue and white skirt with those horrible squiggles and a navy blue jacket. And last year you had on that fuzzy pink number with the lilac underneath."
Willow lifted her eyebrows. "Wow. You're either very observant or a cross dresser."
Spike growled and Willow raised her hands in surrender. "Calm down. My point is that I never would have guessed. You played the blood lust kinda cool.
"Mmmm." Spike began. "I hate being obvious. Being all fangy and 'Grrr.' Takes the mystery out."
Willow just smiled. Spike could see that it didn't reach her eyes. Thinking that she reminded him too much of Druscilla for his liking, he reached out and stroked her face. "Who hurt you?"
Willow blinked, shocked at his soft tone. "You care?"
"I asked, didn't I?"
Willow hesitated. "Well..."
"Who hurt you? Was it that kid with the floppy hair? Zapper or something?"
She shook her head. "No, it wasn't Xander. It was another guy. My ex-boyfriend ... Oz." Willow said, her voice breaking at his name.
Spike ignored her tears and pressed her for more information. "What'd he do?"
Willow just looked at him. Spike gritted his teeth, upset that she felt the need to protect her ex even after he'd hurt her. "What. Did. He. Do?" Spike asked, stressing each word.
Willow buckled under the vampire's gaze. "He cheated on me. I caught them together all naked. Then he left."
"And now you've convinced yourself that you're not good enough?"
She nodded. Spike tilted her face up towards his. He traced the tracks of her tears with his fingertips, wiping them away. "Then you're just as stupid as he was for not seeing what's right in front of you."
"What?" Willow asked.
"You're beautiful, luv."
Willow shook her head. "No, I'm not. I'm really not."
Spike said nothing, instead he leaned down and captured her lips under his for a soft kiss. He slid his lips over hers, enjoying their softness. He ran his tongue over the outline of her lips, seeking entrance. Willow opened her mouth and met his tongue with hers. He kissed her with a soft passion, his lips caressing hers, trying to make her see what he had been seeing for two years now. 'Full of fire, she is.' Spike thought. He slowly pulled away from her. Looking into her expressive eyes, he said, "Never think you're not good enough again. Ever."
He moved away from her and got off the bed, his emotions running high. Spike looked back at her, knowing full well he couldn't allow her to live. 'She's seen me weakened too many times. I can't let her go on thinking that I'm a Pouf,' he thought. Spike sighed and looked at her. 'I'll just have to turn her. Can't have all that fire wasted in death.' The thought that she would be his forever made Spike more determined than ever. 'I'll treat her like a queen, I will. My flame,' he thought.
Willow raised a hand to her tingling lips and watched him pace around the room. "You're going to kill me now, aren't you?" she asked.
"I promise it won't hurt." Spike said and lunged at her.
Willow screamed as Spike's fangs once again descended toward her neck. Then a lot of things happened at once. Spike shouted out in agony before pulling away from her, holding his head, just as the lights went out. They heard screams down the hall and Willow shot up into a sitting position. Instinctively, she reached over and grabbed a lamp off of the bedside table, breaking it over Spike's head and ran for the door.
The rest of what happened was all a blur for Willow, but as she and Buffy went to bed that night two things were clear: the commando's had attacked their dorm, and Spike was gone. Buffy was too preoccupied to notice the odd expression on Willow's face at each mention of Spike. Or to notice that every so often, Willow lifted her hand to her lips and blushed.
The End.