Author- Fayth

Email- fayth82@yahoo.co.uk

Rating- Pluh not above pg13

Pairing- W/S

Summary- Spike needs a little confidence boost and he gets it.

Disclaimer- not mine. I have shoes. but no Spike.

Dedicated- Inell, sorry you had such a crappy week.



Willow tip toed through the graveyard towards the crypt, all the time silently berating herself that this was far and away the dumbest thing she had ever done. Ever. Dumber than that my will it so spell. Dumber than smooches with Xander and dumber than Harmony.maybe.

But here she was doing it. Because he looked so *hurt*.

Drusilla had come back to see if her Spike-y had gotten back to his former demon self. To discover that he had a chip and was helping the Slayer, well, it hadn't been pretty.

She mocked Spike and beat him up- not in a good old kinky way but in an I-hate-you-you're-so-weak way. She told him that he was disgusting and pathetic and even worse than Angel. Then she'd left him and he'd tried to stake himself. Willow and Xander had only just managed to stop him, even though Xander wasn't sure it was the right thing to do.

Then he'd been quite pleased when they almost didn't end the world but after they'd left him Willow had gone back secretly to see him.

He was slumped over the Marble Coffin in the Crypt, alcohol bottle in one hand, bloody tears running down his cheeks, the perfect picture of abject despair and pain. He had been *crying*. That decided Willow.

Even though it was the dumbest thing ever and probably wouldn't work anyway she felt that no one should ever be in that much pain. She had when Oz left and look where that ended up.

Hence the whole creeping through the graveyard thing. She finally reached his crypt and tentatively pushed the door open.

Peeking in she spotted Spike asleep, or unconscious, on the coffin he used as a bed. She crept over quietly and placed the little bundle next to him and then crept away quickly.


Spike woke up and winced. Oh Lords above, his head hurt, then his memories came rushing back and he felt despair overwhelm him. Dru. Tears rushed to his eyes.

"You're no good Spike, all pathetic and ashes, not demon enough for princess. Not man enough for the world. You're a no one, you fit in nowhere. Even not- daddy with a soul is better. Ugly William, no longer a darling boy."

"Dru I love you, baby."

"Never love you. No one will, ugly boy."

Spike made a fist and swept it over his face smudging the tears. Bitch. He'd given that ungrateful. well he couldn't come up with a better phrase than Bitch right now. the best damn years of his unlife and she treated him like crap. He hated her, he loved her. It hurt dammit. She knew him better than anyone and the things she'd said. oh they'd hurt, he felt like his insides were being ripped apart. What was worse, he felt every word she'd said. He felt ugly and worthless and weak and pathetic. Unworthy and loveless. Maybe it wasn't too late to stake him self.

He scowled, he'd have to make sure the cute witch and the annoying one didn't drop by and "rescue" him again.

He put his hand down by the side and heard the crinkle of paper. He looked down. There was a package next to him that hadn't been there when he'd gone to sleep. He looked at it curiously. It was a brown paper package with Spike written on in a very feminine scrawl.

He turned it over in his hands before breaking it open. Several pieces of paper fell out onto his lap. The first seemed to be a letter.

Dear Spike (it read) I have no idea why I'm doing this, or what you'll think but I needed to do this for you. Please don't be mad, I just thought you needed to know. A sort of friend Oh P.S. It's not out of pity or anything like that.

His curiosity peaked Spike picked up the first piece of paper and peered at it. On the top of the paper there was a heading

Reason's why Spike is scary.

1) Well Vampire obviously.

2) Killed two Slayers

3) Has nearly beaten Buffy on several occasions (she still cant beat him even though he has a chip- don't tell her that please.)

4) Managed to get one up on Angelus

5) Managed to survive with a chip even though other demon's would be dead by now

6) Smart enough to ask for help when he needs it- a sign of true intelligence

7) Can pay demons to attack us but has the honour to want to do it himself (please don't kill us!)

8) Can rip the head off a demon without breaking a sweat

9) Just radiates power and scariness

10) Scares me more than Angelus ever did

Spike put down that piece of paper with a slight grin and picked up the next.

Spike's achievements

1) Two slayers

2) Anointed one

3) Hundreds of demons

4) One apocalypse oh wait make that two apocalypses (is that the plural?)

5) Helped Buffy send Angelus to hell

6) Thousands of Vampires

7) Managed to put up with Harmony and only staked her once (a BIG achievement)

8) Has a reputation, and every one knows not to mess with Spike

9) Half the scourge of Europe- very bad ass

10) The only known demon to have escaped the initiative

Spike felt his small smile change to a big grin and even chuckled as he read number 7. The next piece of paper was more interesting.

A little essay about Spike.

Despite having encountered numerous obstacles Spike is the only Vampire to ever have the Slayer at a standoff. She could not defeat him, even with Angel at her side. And she knows it. Now he has a chip it would be simpler to kill him but Slayer has honour and respects him as an enemy. He is the only enemy she has ever respected and it seems too much like cheating to stake him while he is temporarily incapacitated. (She will, of course, deny this.)

He has an inner strength, core of pure steel, which is harder to fight and no one has ever broken him. Having the respect of a Slayer is only one of this amazing Vampires tools. He is smart enough to know when to ask for help, when to bargain with enemies and when to make allies. He can adapt to his circumstances. This is the mark of a true master.

Despite his recent setback his name still instils fear in the hearts of demons. (Except the ones without hearts, because there are actually some of those around here, they just feel it in their toes. Unless they don't have toes. off topic.)

He doesn't have a soul yet can love deeper and more intensely than most creatures with. A fact that is noticed admired and even desired. Most girls would kill for someone to look at them like that. (By those jealous- not me, not really.) He can be so sweet (yes I know demons don't do sweet.) but is also scary as hell. Oh and the confident attitude is really sexy.

He is actually more of a person than any other Vampire we have encountered. He is special.

Spike silently put down that paper and picked up the last one, his mind still turning over what had been written.

This one had a picture of him drawn on it. It was quite good and he stared at it having not seen himself for quite a while. There were little lines leading off certain parts of him. He read them all.

Head- Sexy bleached blonde hair (note- how do you do that without a mirror?)

Eyes- The most gorgeous Blue. Like glacial ice and then sometimes like a stormy sea.

Eyebrows- when you do that raise one eyebrow thing. Mmmm

Brain- ok you can't see it but you are damn smart Mr Vampire!

Cheekbones- One word- wow.

Lips- Totally kissable. And then they do that smirk thing.

Voice- Sexy accent and deep voice (ideal for sending shivers down girls spines.); I bet it's great for singing.


Neck- more a vampire thing but its nice.

Chest- very strong and manly, another wow

Stomach- washboard comes to mind. Oh and yum

Arms- muscle-y and strong. Comforting and protective.

Legs- nice, very nice

Butt- Oh. My. God.

Feet- umm, you always wear boots but I guess they'd be pretty perfect too.

Clothes; they're black, they're leather, they're sexy. You are one perfect package and any girl would love to be with you.

Spike folded the pages up and slipped them in his duster pocket. The grin covered the whole of his face. He was big, he was bad and he was sexy. Dru could kiss his ass. Although there was no name on the paper there was only one person it could possibly be. The adorable red headed witch that was so nice to him.

Maybe it was time to share his good mood.

She thought he was sexy? Hadn't she just broken up with Wolf boy?

He let loose a lecherous grin and raised an eyebrow. He owed her a thank you.

the end