Paring W/S S/L
Summary: Spike needs some fashion advice from the fashion king himself Lorne.
Note: I wrote this over a year ago so it is early Fayth work so be gentle.
Disclaimer: not mine.
S. Oh god, I can't believe what I'm doing here
L. Well hello aren't you a bleached well of ecstasy?
S. Sod off I'm waiting for someone
L. Yes my little railroad spike that would be me
S. What? Oh that bloody poof he said it would be someone who could help me!
L. Angel cakes filled me in on your need for a change thanks to miss witch. Ah Angel Mr tall dark and brooding, unfortunately stuck with the black on black but you have potential my little Spike and what better way to start than to ditch the punk look, so over, and go a little more 21st century
S. I am not going out with you looking like that!
L. Worry not sweetling by the time we are finished you won't recognise yourself
S. I'm gonna kill him, no first I'll torture him.again and then I'll kill him
L. Mmm mmm while the little fantasies of mayhem can wait we have to deal with your outfit now.
S. What's wrong with it?
L. Should have been dead and buried about when you were my little treasure now take off the coat I want to see you
S. Great another bloody great poofter
L. Ahh ahh ahh I can see your aura and all your secrets and unless you want me to mention to Willow your little fantasies.
S. (taking his coat off) I could learn to hate you real fast.
L. Of course now how'd you feel about pink?
S. How'd you feel about a great stake rammed up your ass?
L. Now now Sweetie we can indulge me later. (Spike shudders)
S. No bloody pink
L. Ok I'm sensing perhaps your colour is blue, really sets off your eyes Something in silk maybe ooh definitely that little number I saw in Bruce's.
AT THE MALL
S. No, no, no i'm not wearing that! Not for you not for Red not for Saint Anyone.
L. But it's lovely
S. One it's pink, didn't we mention pink? Two it's a bloody track suit and even I Know they were never IN fashion!
L. Just teasing gees lighten up, I was told You had some sense of humour, HA. Where's the love?
S. I have no idea
L. This is much more you (holds up a dark blue silk shirt)
S. Yeah yeah that would do me hey your taste ain't that bad
L. Well accolades indeed aren't I a snazzy dresser?
S. Do you even own a mirror?
L. Absolutely and I'm like Narcissus every morning bah!
S. God and I though HARMONY WAS ANNOYING
L. Ohh little cacophony wasn't so bad once she stopped singing, quite likeable really if a little on the very dumb blonde side of life (holds up a green t-shirt and dark green jumper)
S. You met harm? (Takes them without really looking at them)
L. Yes little Blondie bear quite shamelessly you treated her too you bad vampire
S. God I need a drink
L. Later darling after the suit (he walks off)
S. Wait wait what suit?
Later Spike stands in front of Lorne wearing a black Armani suit perfectly Tailored to fit his very very cute... (Fill in own adjective) and a blood red shirt, on the floor are several shirts and sweaters all in natural earthy shades of blue green and red
S. Yeah I could get used to this Willow will be eating out my hand.
L. Well yay you honey (they go to pay.)
S. Maybe I won't kill Angel after all what's a little torture between family?
L. Are you talking about him or you? (Items are all in bags and they begin walking down the hall.)
S. After what I have had to put with this afternoon definitely me.
L. Well there's gratitude for ya, Champ. (He puts his hand on Spikes ass.)
S. When I get this chip out the first one I'm coming after is you.