Distro: Mystifying Dreams, WWOMB, WLS, RedsSoulmates, Poetry In Motion, NHA, Writings of the Femail, my Livejournal and others
Spoilers: season 5
Rating: Over 16
Summary: Guilt does not drive them apart.
Thanks to Jennillu for the beta.
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So the bitch didn’t pay, at least not like I wanted her to.
And boy am I lucky that Buffy showed up when she did, cause I think spitting in Glory’s face might have been a little more than the God of Sunnydale could tolerate. I’m told that I slowed her down and weakened her enough for Buffy to hurt her, but I still feel like I failed.
Failed Tara...and Spike too. He deserves some payback, right?
As it is, I am totally bruised and sore and generally feeling yucky. The doctor insisted on keeping Tara in the hospital for observation, like I couldn’t observe her, but I can pick her up in the morning, which is good.
I turn and snuggle in closer as he holds me tight, let’s me cry it all out. This is good too. I can’t help but be thrilled by the scent of him and I breathe him in deep.
“You could have been killed, Pet. I know you’re powerful, but you have to be careful. Glory maybe an 80’s glamour-girl reject, but she is also running around charged up and god-like.”
“I hate her.” I think the venom in my words surprises him, but he recovers quickly and grins.
“Good. Me too. Plan to see an end to her, I do.” He’s looking off into space, maybe thinking about what he wants to do to her, how he would kill her.
“Good. Me too.” And then his attention is on me. His hand comes up, cool fingers wiping away my tears. Just that simple touch has things churning inside me that just aren’t supposed to be churning. Earlier, I barely made it out of his crypt with my virtue still intact. Well, not intact, since Oz had that honor a while back, but still, I’ve been sans penis for quite sometime and Spike makes me want to try again. Suddenly, I’m not ordering from the vegan menu and it’s scary.
I use my hand on his chest as leverage and push myself into a sitting position. “I better go.”
“Why?” The frown is adorable and I’d be all mushy over it except for the fact that he’s growling just a little. He’s quiet about it, but the low rumbling is there.
“Because...I...You...we can’t. Tara...”
He sits up and slips off of the bed, lighting a cigarette before ascending the stairs. I know I’ve done something to upset him and I follow since I need to be up there in order to leave anyway.
Up top, he is heating blood, his whole being focused on the task, which means he is concentrating on every little thing that I am doing,
“What’s wrong?”
“I thought you had to leave?” His voice is quiet and although there is a deliberate absence of anger, I can feel it swimming around the room. He has such powerful emotions when he allows himself to feel them. No wonder he loved Drusilla for a century.
“Don’t be mean. Tell me why you’re upset.”
He lets his head fall forward and shakes it with a small laugh.
“You should go, Red. I don’t want you here feeling guilty about your bird. What we do...it has nothing to do with her, but you won’t see it.”
It’s my turn to frown. “How can my running to you, wanting you, not affect her? She loves me, thinks I love her...”
“Do you?”
“What? Of course I love, Tara!”
“So what do you want with me? Am I some bloody experiment? Your little fieldtrip into darkness? Something scary, but relatively safe, like the tigers at the zoo?”
“No! I lo...” I cannot say this. He will never understand. But his eyes sparkle and seek mine and I see the truth of my feelings reflected in him.
“You what?” he asks softly, his entire demeanor changing, mercurial.
I’m afraid to say it. What if I’m wrong and he laughs at me? Or worse, gives me the talk. But the way he gazing into my heart, I can’t deny it or lie. It would be insulting to him and I may not get this chance again, so I take a deep breath, which he probably finds scary, and go for it.
“Spike...Do you, you know, feel kinda like there’s more, a whole lot more, to what we’re doing than what we’re admitting to doing? I think I do and I think you do too, but I can’t be sure ‘cause you can be kinda difficult to read, but I’m getting better at it, you know, and I think I love you...If you love me, I mean. Well, I’d still feel like this even if you didn’t, but I’m really hoping you do since it would be totally awkward if you didn’t. So... do you?”
He smiles sweetly and my heart sinks. The talk is eminent and I feel the tears flooding my eyes when, through my blurry vision, I see him coming closer and his mouth hovers over mine for only a second before I’m set on fire by his lips, his hand, his body pressing against mine. His hand, powerful and determined, clenches in my hair and he moves me to his liking, delving deep and exploring me with his tongue. I’m dizzy and realize I need air. He must sense it too, because he lets me go, attacking my jaw and neck with his talented lips. All I can do is moan as he licks that spot where he bit me, making me wet for him and what I want him to do.
“Spike, please,” I beg, which kinda pisses me off that I actually want him bad enough to beg, but not so much that I stop, and I try to unbuckle his belt. “I need you more than anything...” I’m a big ole panting slut.
Everything stops and he is holding me at arms length. I’m very confused and I take in those startling eyes as he pierces my soul. “Want you too, Willow. But if we do this, you’re mine.”
At this point I’ll agree to anything and do, nodding my head furiously while my blood pounds like thunder in my head. “Yes, yours. Now, no more teasing,” I groan as I finally get his pants open and reach inside.
And this is how I become the consort of a vampire.
The End