"Blondie?"
 

Spike turned towards the slayer and mentally sighed. Why was he
babysitting a slayer? Well, he knew why he wasn't killing her. The damn
implant made that a bit impossible. But, he knew that he wouldn't kill
her even if he wasn't implanted. Willow trusted him to watch her. He
would do nothing to betray that trust. "What slayer?"
 

Faith smiled. She had sensed the vampire as soon as she had woken up.
She knew that Willow was no longer in the bed. "Is Red around?"
 

"At the hospital" Spike replied.
 

"WHAT?" Faith shrieked, scrambling to sit up. She turned her head in the
direction of his voice.
 

"Damn...not so loud. The demon girl, Anya, got in an accident of some
sort. Chubs called to get Willow to meet them."

"Anya was hurt?" Faith asked, thinking.
 

"Yeah" Spike said, not aware of the slight worry that tainted his voice.
 

"I am so going to kick his brooding ass when I get back to LA" Faith
said, sitting up and groaning.
 

"So, you and Peaches" Spike said, amusement in his voice.
 

"Get your mind out of the gutter, Fang. He is so not my type. That
angsty soulful shit may cut it with Buffy, but not with me. Sides, he
wants to save me. Can't do that if he's fucking me."
 

"He can try" Spike said, his voice laughing at the sullen way she had
said the last two sentences. "Poor wittle slayer has a thing for the
nancy boy."
 

"You should talk" Faith shot back, snickering. "You and Red? What's up
with that?"
 

"Nothing" Spike said, the amusement gone from his voice.
 

"Oooh...I touched a nerve. Not so big now, huh vampire? The bad ass had
the hots for sweet innocent little Willow. What ever would Buffy say?"
 

"If you breathe a word of it, I'll tell Bitchy about you and brood boy."
Spike warned.
 

"Fuck...it's no fun teasing if you have something on me too" Faith said
simply. "I do not have the hots for Angel, by the way."
 

"Yeah yeah yeah....I can hear the lust in your voice, slayer. You want
him. Probably want to rip that brooding exterior away and find the
remains of Angelus that still lurk inside the pansy assed wanker. He
might enjoy that, actually. He liked playing rough."
 

"He did?" Faith asked quietly. She caught herself, "Yeah, like I care."
she said hastily.
 

Spike just laughed. "You want details, pet? I can give them to you...I
can tell you the way he likes to brush the hair from your face before
you cum so that he can see how your face tenses...the soft little moans
he makes if you take him deep in your throat....the way the muscles in
his back ripple as he thrusts into you...the way his teeth feel tearing
into your skin as he cums...."
 

Faith couldn't breathe. The images Spike's sexy words were painting were
flooding her mind. She could see Angel fucking her the way Spike
described it. Damn it. Why had she fallen for him? He was Buffy's.
Always would be. She was nothing more than a pest to him. Another soul
that needed saving. He didn't even see her as a female now. Not after
what she had done. She was just the latest in his redemption list. He'd
never take her the way Spike talked about. "Speaking from experience, eh
lover? Knew you and Angel were a bit close...."
 

"Fuck you" Spike said, shaking the memories from his mind. After Dru had
changed him, Angelus had become his teacher...his lover...his punisher.
The one person he had strived for years to impress only to fail each
time. Dru was his sire, but Angelus had made him who he was.
 

"Sorry, blondie. Not my type, but thanks for the offer. Nice to know
I've still got it" Faith said with a smile.
 

Spike groaned, suddenly seeing Angel with the girl. Somehow, it worked
for him. Peaches would definitely stay on his toes if he were involved
with her. He smiled, liking that image. "You've got it still, luv. Poor
Peaches...he won't know what hit him."
 

"What the fuck are you rambling about?' Faith demanded.
 

"Nothing" Spike said innocently.
 

Faith just laughed, "Fine. Keep your secrets...I can keep mine too...."
 

"What secrets do you have that I would possibly find interesting?" Spike
said, his tone bored.
 

"WELL....Red and I actually became friends a bit before I went to the
Mayor. I stayed over.....read her diary...learned everything that turns
little miss innocent on....the way she wants to be seduced...about the
little crush she had on a certain blonde vampire a couple of years ago
and the naughty fantasies she had about him...."
 

"Spill it" Spike hissed, a smile on his face. Willow had wanted him that
far back? He had to know details.
 

"Nuh uh...." Faith said, chuckling.
 

"Slayer' Spike warned. "Wouldn't want Peaches to hear about your not so
platonic thoughts would we?"
 

Faith frowned, "Fuck. Fine. I'll tell, but you can't tell anyone about
Angel. Promise!"
 

"Fine. Don't tell Red I sort of well that I uh like her either, K?"
Spike asked, again cursing what he had become. Making deals with a damn
slayer just to hear Willow's private thoughts about him.
 

"Like?" Faith snorted. "And I'm a saint. Keep your illusions, Spike. I
think this is way past like right now...."
 

"Just talk...what did Red say about me?" Spike demanded, leaning forward
eagerly to hear the details.
 

FEAR AND LOVE (17/?)
 

Willow finally found Xander sitting in the lobby outside Anya's room. He
looked horrible. She ran up to him, saying his name softly. He looked
up, the expression on his face reassuring her. She held her arms out as
he came into them. He hugged her tightly, not saying anything. "How is
she?"
 

"God Wills...I was so scared...all my fault" Xander said, speaking into
Willow's red hair. He pulled back, blinking back tears. "She's going to
be ok. They almost lost her for a bit....but she came back...to me. I
almost lost her Willow."
 

"Thank god she's going to be ok" Willow said, sighing in relief. She
said quietly, "What happened Xander?"
 

"Not now" Xander said, moving away from her. He turned his back on her,
not wanting to talk about it. He felt so guilty.
 

Willow blinked back tears. She wasn't needed. Xander didn't even want to
talk about it. She started to leave, but instead glared at his back.
"Alexander Harris. You had better turn around this minute and tell me
what happened!"
 

Xander turned to face her, surprised at her pushing him. He had thought
she'd quit asking questions when he had asked her to. "I can't deal with
this now Willow."
 

"Anya is laying in the hospital bed and she is having to deal with it
now. I love you Xander and I want to help. I will not let you push me
away." Willow said her tone warning. She took his hand, squeezing it
tightly. "Now talk mister."
 

Xander blanched, sitting down, his hand still holding Willow's. "We were
fighting. She made me stop the car...she was going to leave me. I hadn't
realized until that moment what I'd become these last few weeks....I was
him" he spat out the last word, giving her no doubt who he was talking
about. "Will, I was becoming my father!"
 

"Shh...you are not your father! You're Alexander Harris. My friend.
Anya's lover. I've told you for years that you had to deal with the
anger. It just finally boiled over, I guess."
 

"She left me, Willow. She was so upset she walked right into the path of
the car. It was my fault. I almost killed her" Xander said, leaning
forward and laying his head on her shoulder as he cried.
 

"You brought her back, Xander." Willow said quietly. "Your love for her
brought her back. She's going to be fine. You can get some counseling
for your anger....don't let it drive her away again!"
 

"I won't....you're right. You're always right." Xander said, smiling at
his best friend. "What would we do without you?"
 

"Survive" Willow said, smiling. "But it's nice to know I was able to
help."
 

"Do you want to see her?" Xander asked.
 

"Sure....do you think she'd mind?" Willow asked.
 

"Nah...she likes you" Xander said, walking into the room, his arm around
Willow's shoulders. The demon moved back into the hallway as he left the
hospital. They were faring rather well. Three down. Five to go. He'd see
how well those five did. He smiled, a wicked gleam in his eyes as he
walked into the warm sun.
 

***********

Angel turned off of the freeway when he saw the Sunnydale exit. Half an
hour. He hadn't wanted to come back to Sunnydale. It seemed too soon.
Buffy had moved on. That he knew. He even knew that Spike was aiding the
slayer now. He hadn't seen his grandchilde since that night in LA all
those months ago. He frowned as he neared the town. Something was in the
air, he could feel it. He shook his head. Just the hellmouth. He forgot
how strong it was after being gone for so long.
 

He knew that Faith was at Willow's. The girl had called him the night
before wanting to know if he had found anything to explain her vision.
He hadn't. He felt so guilty for not being able to help. She had sounded
so forelorn. He had decided then and there to go to Sunnydale to get
her. He didn't even want to begin trying to understand his impulse to
protect her...to keep her safe. She had tried to kill him not a year
before, rather successfully all things considered. Yet, he had seen
something in her that he could relate to. A kindred spirit so to speak.
He was going to save her. He didn't know why he had to, but he did. She
was in pain at the moment and she needed him. She didn't need to be
alone. He pushed his foot down, wanting to hurry and get to Sunnydale.
To get to Faith.
 

***************

"You're kidding?" Faith said, laughing as Spike finished his story. She
took another bite of her hamburger, surprised that it was edible. Spike
had cooked for her. It was still sunny so he couldn't get her anything.
She'd promised not to tell anyone he had fed a slayer.
 

"No I'm not. Peaches just laid there in the mud, a sullen expression on
his face as Dru laughed. He didn't even punish her that night" Spike
said, smiling as he remembered.
 

"You loved them both didn't you?" Faith asked.
 

Spike snorted, "I don't love anyone. That's a human emotion. I cared, I
guess."
 

"Did they not love you?" Faith asked, her blindness giving her
confidence in asking him such personal questions.
 

"No, they didn't. Well, they may have but not enough. I was always the
left over. Angelus had Dru and she had him. Hell, Angelus even had
Darla. I was there and they cared but it was never really love. I was
theirs. They didn't have to love me. I'd have done anything for them.
Love never entered it. Seldom does in my world, pet."
 

"Yet, you love Willow" Faith said softly, stating it as a fact. She and
Spike had spent the last hour talking about Willow and Angel and his
past. She felt like she understood Spike in a way that few people did.
 

"Told you, slayer. I don't love anyone" Spike said, his tone getting
irritated. The memories she was bringing up were making him angry. He
said quietly, "I care for her. I'm tired of talking. Get some sleep.
Willow should be home soon."
 

Faith nodded, knowing she had pushed him too far. She laid down, the
blackness surrounding her. Why did she feel sorry for Spike? Sure, he
had never really loved but neither had she. Of course, she was eighteen.
He was what? technically like a hundred and fifty one or something. How
could he survive that long with just caring? She was one to talk. She
cut herself off from anyone she knew she might even care about. She and
Spike were alike in that way. Despite what he said, she could tell from
his stories that Drusilla and Angelus had both loved him. He just
wouldn't accept that. Damn stubborn vampire. Reminded her of someone
else. Another damn stubborn gorgeous vampire. Like teacher, like
student, she decided, turning over to try to nap before Willow came
home.
 

FEAR AND LOVE (18/?)
 

Buffy walked inside Giles' apartment. She still felt weak but was
managing to walk around much better. She figured the virus she had must
be running its course. She saw Giles sitting on the couch watching tv.
She smiled as she sat down, "Hey you."
 

Giles looked at her, "Buffy. I see you made it alone today."
 

She nodded, "Yep. I'm getting my strength back finally. I don't know
what the hell I had, but it wasn't fun."
 

Giles shrugged, "At least you can walk around now. Have you heard from
Xander?"
 

She frowned, "No, why?"
 

"Anya was hit by a car" seeing Buffy's shocked expression, he added,
"She's awake and doing much better."
 

"My god. No...he didn't call. Well, I was at Riley's but he has that
number."
 

"Yes, you're always at Riley's so I assume he'd know how to find you"
Giles said, his tone sharp.
 

"What was that for?" Buffy asked, glaring at him.
 

Giles sighed, "What was what for? Is there a reason you are here? I know
I didn't call you for anything. I'm trying to finish my program."
 

"Rude much?" Buffy asked, confusion on her face.
 

"Buffy, go home. Or actually, go back to Riley. If I need you, I'll be
sure to call." Giles said, dismissing her.
 

Buffy stood, her lower lip pouting. "Fine. I'll call you tomorrow. I
hope whatever bug crawled up your ass is gone by then."
 

Giles watched her leave, wondering how on earth he had put up with her
constant self centered whining for so long. He stood and went into the
kitchen. He found a bottle of scotch and poured a glass. Smelling the
alcohol, he smiled. He tossed a book onto the floor, kicking the pile
closer to the bookshelf. He had thought he had put those back. Oh well.
He didn't care. He sat down, drinking his scotch as the movie continued
to play. He sighed, wondering again what was happening to him.
 

**************

Angel knocked on Willow's door, waiting for an answer. He stood in
surprise when Spike opened the door. "Spike?"
 

Spike smiled. He'd been right. "She's upstairs. Last door on the right."
 

"Who?" Angel asked cautiously. He knew Spike was helping Buffy but he
couldn't believe they had allowed him to roam around Willow's house.
 

"Your new little slayer" Spike said with a knowing grin.
 

"They let you watch Faith?" Angel demanded.
 

"They didn't let me do anything. I volunteered so that Willow could go
to the hospital. They don't even know she's back." Spike replied,
shutting the door and heading into the living room.
 

"What are you doing?" Angel asked, not sure what was exactly happening.
 

Spike sighed loudly, glaring at Angel. "I'm waiting for Red. Faith lost
the rest of her vision and didn't want to stay alone. She and I had a
nice chat today and then she went to sleep. As I said, last door on the
right."
 

Angel headed up the stairs, Spike's words in his head. She had lost the
rest of her vision. He had failed her. Just like he failed everyone. No.
Not this time. He would help Faith if it was the last thing he did. He
suddenly wondered why Willow had gone to the hospital. He hoped nothing
was wrong.
 

FEAR AND LOVE (19/?)
 

"Who's there?" Faith called out, feeling a vampire. She knew it wasn't
Spike. He smelled of citris for some strange reason.
 

Angel looked in at her, his eyes sad. She didn't even know who was
there. It was all his fault. He walked into the room, shutting the door.
He moved to her side, speaking softly, "I came as soon as I could."
 

Faith smiled, "Angel? You came here for me?"
 

Angel sat down beside her, taking her hand. "Spike told me."
 

Fear crossed her face, "That miserable bastard. He promised he wouldn't
tell."
 

Angel frowned, "Faith. I can tell that you can't see anything even if he
hadn't told me. Why would you want to keep that a secret?"
 

"OH...that" Faith said, sighing. "I thought you meant something else."
 

"You and Spike have a secret?" Angel asked, cursing himself for the
jealousy he heard in his voice.
 

"Not really" Faith said, enjoying the feel of his hand holding hers.
"Why are you here Angel?"
 

"I feel like this is my fault" he started to say.
 

She pulled her hand away, turning away from his voice. "You felt guilty.
Your latest little project didn't work the way you planned. Sorry. You
can leave now."
 

"It isn't that....you aren't a project Faith" Angel said, his words
rolling over her. "I didn't want you facing this alone."
 

"Really?" she asked quietly, hope in her voice.
 

Angel looked at her. Without the wall she had erected around herself,
her vulnerabilty and unease were easy to see. He pulled her against his
chest, still not really understanding what he was beginning to feel for
the girl. "I want to keep you safe, Faith. Let me in. Please?"
 

Faith snuggled against his chest, his scent filling her senses. "Thank
you Angel."
 

"For what?" he asked, running a hand through her silky hair as he held
her.
 

"For caring" she said simply.
 

***********

"Well?" Spike asked as Willow came in.
 

She smiled, "She's doing well. Her leg is broken and her wrist is
sprained, but she should be out of the hospital soon."
 

"Good" he said, relief in his voice.
 

"How is Faith?" Willow asked, sitting down beside him on the sofa.
 

"Peaches is here. I'd say she was pretty happy right now" Spike said
with a knowing grin.
 

"Angel?" Willow said, smiling slowly. "Angel and Faith...I can see that.
Well, good for her. She's not alone anymore."
 

"If she doesn't push him away" Spike muttered. "She's like me. She
pushes people she loves away."
 

"I didn't think you believed in love?" Willow said, not looking at him.
 

"It's not for me." Spike said, disgusted.
 

"Of course not." Willow agreed. "You're an evil bad ass vampire. They
don't love. They don't allow themselves to be loved."
 

"Right" Spike said, his tone unsure. He watched her face and wondered
what had brought that on. She wasn't looking at him. He didn't like
that.
 

"Anyone that fell in love with you would have to be stupid. A dumb
idiot. Hopeless in a lot of ways" she continued, her eyes still on the
television.
 

"A complete moron" he echoed, causing her to look at him. He saw the
love and pain in her eyes. He brought his hand up to caress her face. "A
foolish person."
 

Willow moved closer to him, his hand bringing her chin up. "A very
foolish person. You just aren't the type of guy to love. She'd be...."
 

"You?" Spike asked, brushing his lips against hers.
 

Willow's eyes widened. "I am foolish. I fell in love with you, Spike. I
tried not to..I tried to fight it...It wouldn't work. It happened."
 

"Shh...." Spike said, kissing her again. His lips claimed hers as his
hand moved to the back of her head, bringing her closer. She loved him.
He slid his tongue over her lips until she opened up, allowing him
entrance. He closed his eyes, losing himself in the taste that was
Willow.
 
 

FEAR AND LOVE (20/?)
 

Buffy let herself in to Riley's dorm, her mind racing. She sat down on
his bed, her knees going under her chin as she thought over her
conversation with Giles. Something had happened to her watcher. He
didn't seem to care anymore. She laid down, her body weak from the walk.
She really hoped that it was just some bug. The doctors had done blood
work and couldn't find anything. Her own mother thought it might be due
to stress and psychological problems. She wasn't crazy.

She looked up as Riley came inside. He smiled at her, his eyes full of
love. She kissed him as he sat down and then told him about Giles and
what had happened. "What do you think?"
 

Riley stared into space, thinking. He had also noticed the watcher's
behaviour changing but didn't know what to say. So, he shrugged, "I
don't know Buffy. Give him some time. Maybe he's having a midlife crisis
or something."
 

"He's too old for that. Besides, he didn't buy a sports car, he insulted
me." Buffy said.
 

"I'm sure it's nothing" Riley said. "How do you feel?"
 

"Still weak but I walked the entire way by myself. Of course, now I feel
like I was run over..Oh my god. Anya." Buffy suddenly said.
 

"What about Anya?" Riley asked, his fingers playing with her hair.
 

"She's in the hospital. She was hit by a car" Buffy said. "I wanted to
call and check on her."
 

"Is she ok?' Riley asked.
 

"Giles said she was...." Buffy sounded unsure.
 

Riley felt the tension that had entered her. He kissed her forehead and
stood. "Come on. Let's go see about her. I can drive."
 

Buffy's eyes lit up. "Thank you."
 

Riley just smiled, "I want to make sure she's ok. I'm sure you do too.
Calling is so impersonal."
 

"I love you" Buffy said, kissing him as she stood.
 

"Love you too" Riley said. "Can you make it downstairs or do I need to
carry you?"
 

"I can make it" Buffy said, determination in her voice.
 

****************

Willow whimpered as she moved closer to Spike. She fit against him
perfectly, their bodies matching. She felt him push her to the couch as
their lips stayed join. She ran her hands over his back, her nails
scraping against his shirt as she tried to urge him closer.
 

Spike was drowning. He couldn't get enough of her. Her taste...her
smell...it was intoxicating. He ran his hands down her stomach, needing
to touch her. He slid the bottom of her shirt up, his cool hands gliding
over her warm flesh. He heard her make a soft moan as his hands drifted
up her ribcage. He wanted her. From her actions, she wanted him too. He
pushed his body against her, cursing the material that kept them from
touching.
 

Angel walked into the living room, frowning. He didn't see them. He
moved closer, freezing as he took in their forms on the sofa. He
watched, a smile crossing his face. Spike and Willow. He chuckled as he
moved to head back upstairs. He had no plans of interrupting them. They
seemed focused on each other. He wondered if Buffy knew about them.
Somehow, he doubted that she would approve. He crept back upstairs,
planning to tell Faith that Anya was fine. He assumed she was since
Spike and Willow were practically taking each other in the living room.
He laughed softly as he went to join Faith.
 
 

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