"Damn it Anya! I told you to pick up the fucking towels" Xander yelled,
his angry gaze on her.
 

"Well, excuse me!" she said back. "I haven't had time, your highness."
 

"Fuck this shit. From now on, I don't want you taking a shower if you
can't clean up afterwards!"
 

"You? Talking to me about cleaning up?" Anya said, laughing. "That's
rich!"
 

Xander threw the towel at her as hard as he could. "Stupid bitch."
 

Anya gasped as the wet towel hit her. She rubbed her arm, glaring at
him. "Fuck you. That hurt!"
 

Xander glared at her, seeing the pink where her arm had been hit. He
scowled, moving to sit beside her. He ran his hand over it, looking at
her as his eyes softened, "I'm sorry. I was just upset."
 

"Whatever" Anya said, pulling her arm away. She didn't know what his
deal was, but for the last few days he had been yelling more than his
father. This was the second time he had hit her with something. Once was
ok. She could understand lashing out. Twice was pushing it very hard. If
it happened again, she'd toss something right back. "I don't want to
hear the excuses again Xander."
 

"How's your leg?" he asked, feeling guilty for what he had done.
 

"It's fine. Healing up" she replied. The night before they had gone out
to eat. On the way back, she had tripped on the uneven sidewalk,
scraping her leg real bad. It had bled but seemed to have begun healing
again.
 

"Want me to kiss it and make it better?" he asked, kneeling in front of
her. He ran his lips over the scrape, his eyes begging for forgiveness.
 

Anya sighed, her hand caressing his face. She smiled slightly, nodding,
"Sure honey. Make it better."
 

Xander felt a weight lift off his shoulders at her forgiveness. He moved
his mouth up her leg as he began to make it better.
 

************

Faith kept her eyes focused on Buffy and Willow. They had no idea she
was back in town and she planned on keeping it that way. Until she was
ready. She had been back from LA for a week. Seven days she had managed
to avoid Miss Perfect Slayer and her little gang of misfits. She sighed,
running a hand through her hair. She hated doing this....being
there....She was going to kill him. That was all there was to it. He'd
die a slow, painful death after she finished her business in Sunnydale.
The thought made her smile as she slid into the shadows away from Buffy
and Willow. They'd know she was back soon enough.
 

**************

Giles put his head in his hands as he tried to remember where he had
put the damn book. He had seen it the other day, when he had been
cleaning. That had been five days ago. He glanced at the bookshelf,
knowing it had to be there and he was just overlooking it. He scanned
the titles, but none were the one he wanted. He finally groaned and
turned away. He would give himself a break from looking and try again.
Lately, it seemed to take him twice as long to remember where he had
been putting things. If he didn't know better, he'd think someone had
snuck in and moved things around. But, Spike was no longer living with
him and no one else had access to his apartment. He noticed a novel
laying on the table. He leaned over, smiling as he read the spine.
That's the one he was looking for. No wonder he hadn't seen it. It
hadn't been put back in place. He settled down on the couch and began
reading from the first, ignoring his bookmark halfway through the novel.
 

FEAR AND LOVE (7/?)
 

Willow looked over at Spike as they continued on patrol. "Thanks for
coming with me" she said softly.
 

He shrugged, "The slayer still sick?"
 

Willow was surprised to hear what almost sounded like a note of concern
in his voice. "We don't know. She's just very tired. I think she may be
getting the flu."
 

He nodded, "You'd better stay away from her then. Can't have you
catching it."
 

"I could still research even if I was sick" Willow pointed out dryly.
 

"Who the bloody hell is talking about research?" Spike asked, looking at
her.
 

"That's all I'm around for" Willow said softly. "If they need me for
something, they call. Otherwise, I'm alone."
 

"Wow....and I didn't even get the invitation to this pity party" Spike
said, rolling his eyes.
 

Willow frowned as she realized he was right. What was wrong with her?
She had never been bothered before by her friend's needing her. In fact,
she rather enjoyed being a valuable part of the team. She looked at him
and said softly, "I don't know what made me say those things...I love
helping them....they're my friends."
 

Spike snorted, "There are limits pet. Sometimes they seem to push those
a bit."
 

"Only because I let them" she pointed out.
 

"That's because you're scared of being alone" he said dryly, stating the
fact.
 

"I am not" she defended. "Well, not really...Oh, just shut up."
 

Spike smiled as she walked past him. He hurried to catch up to her.
"Hey, luv. Where's the fire?"
 

"In your hair if you keep pissing me off. I'll tie your blonde ass
outside myself" she threatened, still trying to understand why she was
being so pissy earlier.
 

"Damn...I feel the love" he said, grimacing.
 

She glanced at him, surprised to see actual hurt in his blue eyes. "I
was joking Spike. I don't want to catch you on fire...I mean, who else
would patrol with me?"
 

Spike snorted, "True. Not many are as patient as I."
 

"Patient? Which lifetime was that in?" she asked smiling.
 

"Listen here, little girl. I have the patience of a saint."
 

"Yeah...uh huh...tell me another one, Spike" she said, laughing as they
began to talk about his various dealings with patience. She was soon
laughing outright as he described episodes from his past.
 

Spike watched her laugh, feeling proud that he had amused her. He shook
off the feeling, trying to scowl but he couldn't do it. She was having
fun, something that didn't seem to happen often for the girl. He had
made her laugh. That made the rest of the evening barable, he decided.
 

*************

"So, Finn. Where do we go?" Graham asked Riley, exchanging a slightly
confused look with Forrest.
 

"I don't know...why are you asking me?" Riley asked, scowling at the
men.
 

"Because" Forrest began, "You are in charge."
 

"I'm not a five year old" Riley hissed, glaring at the man.
 

"Quit acting like one then" Graham muttered. "Why don't I lead the B
team and sweep the northern quad?"
 

"I'll take the C team and head south" Forrest said, rolling his eyes. He
didn't know what was wrong with Riley, but the man's head had not been
in place for the last few days. He and Graham had had to hand out the
orders every night it seemed.
 

"So...where should I go?' Riley asked.
 

"Head east and sweep around to meet us at the corner quad" Graham said,
looking at his friend in concern. He hoped this wasn't a delayed
reaction from the stress the commander had been going through lately. He
and Forrest started to walk away. He saw Riley still standing there,
waiting. "You can take the a team."
 

"Cool" Riley said, picking up his weapon and moving to find his men.
 

FEAR AND LOVE (8/?)
 

Willow walked into Giles apartment, smiling at Spike. They had been on
patrol, again. Buffy had felt too weak to walk to class, much less
patrol. She had been to the doctor, who couldn't find anything wrong
with her, diagnosing her as healthy. Willow looked at the couch and
frowned in concern as she looked at her friend. "You feeling any
better?"
 

Buffy looked up and smiled at Willow. "Yeah...I made it up the stairs
all on my own." she said proudly.
 

"Hey Willow. Spike. How was patrol?" Riley asked.
 

"Fine. Dusted a few vamps and left the rest to your men" Willow said,
sitting down.
 

"Good. Graham and Forrest can take care of it" Riley said.
 

Spike sat down beside Willow, looking at the slayer and her pup.
Something was wrong with them both. He couldn't pin point exactly what,
but it was starting to bother him. He didn't like being around them much
before, but now it was even worse. He glanced at Willow, again taken
back by his thoughts about the girl. Over the last week, he had found
himself liking her. Before, he had tolerated her more than the others,
but now, he actually cared. He didn't like that. Not at all.
 

Willow heard a curse and looked back at Giles. He was puttering around
in the kitchen, looking through cabinets for something. She heard the
door open and slam, turning to look at Anya as the girl came inside. The
exdemon looked at her, her eyes almost sad before she turned away.
Willow was surprised to see what appeared to be a bruise on the woman's
face. She looked back at the door as Xander came in, slamming it after
him.
 

"I told you to wait for me" he said, his voice low as he spoke to Anya.
 

"I wanted to come inside" she said, glaring at him.
 

"We'll finish this discussion later" he said simply, his face angry
before he turned to the others. He smiled at Willow, who had noticed
Anya's eyes widen slightly in panic before turning to look at the
ground, "Hey Wills. How goes patrol?"
 

Willow found herself leaning closer to Spike. There was something
surrounding Xander that she didn't like. She looked at Anya and noticed
the fresh bruise on the girl's leg. It hadn't been there the previous
night. She felt her breathing quicken as a thought entered her mind. She
looked back at Xander, trying to keep her expression natural, "Fine.
Slow."
 

Spike heard her heart racing and looked at her curiously. His eyes
widened when she took his hand in hers, holding it tightly as she spoke
to the moron. He frowned as he tried to think what had upset her. He
stood, her hand still in his. "We have things to finish. Excuse us, ok?"
 

Buffy looked up from her conversation with Riley. "Will, you ok?"
 

"Yeah" Willow said, smiling gratefully at Spike. She was suffocating in
that room. Something about Xander was scaring her. She was probably
crazy, but she wanted to talk to Spike. Strange, but Spike was the only
one she thought might have noticed something too. He was always watching
and listening. She hoped she was wrong. She really hoped she was wrong.
She looked again at Anya, sitting quietly by Xander's side.
Goddess...she had to be wrong. "I'll see you guys later."
 

"Do be careful" Giles called out from the kitchen having finally found
his tea.
 

"See you tomorrow" Buffy said, sitting up with a struggle. "I'm staying
with Riley tonight."
 

"Sure Buffy. See ya" Willow said, almost running from the room, her hand
still in Spike's. She waited until they were outside and down the stairs
before she began to shake. She felt his arms go around her and leaned
into his chest. She just stood there, holding onto him. His arms keeping
her sane for the moment.
 

FEAR AND LOVE (9/?)
 

Faith blinked several times, trying to focus. She gasped as the pain
went through her back. She held on to the stake as she whirled around,
trying to stake the vampire. She couldn't see him clearly enough to
strike a hit home. She felt his hand turn her arm around, frowning as
she heard the bone break. She was going to die, she suddenly knew. She
stumbled slightly, falling to the ground as dust washed over her. She
looked up, seeing a hazy shape with red hair. "Willow?"
 

Willow felt Spike's arm around her waist as she looked down at Faith.
She had thought she was imagining things when she had first spied the
girl fighting the vampire. But, now she could see that it was really
Faith. "Faith. What are you doing here?"
 

Faith blinked again, seeing someone behind Willow. "Who's with you?"
 

"What?" Willow asked, glancing at Spike. "I thought you had met
Spike...when you were in Buffy's body!"
 

"Ah...the blonde" Faith said, grimacing as she stood. She dusted her
pants off, feeling the rip in her knee.
 

"Why are you back?" Willow asked.
 

"Angel made me" Faith replied, sounding like a sullen child.
 

"What?" Spike exclaimed, "What's the poof have to do with you?"
 

Faith grimaced, "I went to LA. He and I sort of bonded, you could say.
He's trying to help me out....said I had to come back and face the past
before I could ever move on, so here I am."
 

"Angel is helping you?" Willow repeated softly.
 

"Yeah...he's not too bad for a brooding all knowing prick" Faith said
with a laugh. "Now Cordy and Wussy? I could definitely do without."
 

"Does Buffy know you're back?" Willow asked.
 

Faith shook her head, "Fuck no. I've been here a couple of weeks already
just trying to figure out how to approach you all....I don't like
apologizing or talking much.....but angst boy said I can't come back
until all is forgiven. Damn self righteous bastard."
 

"Isn't he?" Spike agreed, taking a drag from the smoke he had lit as the
girls had chatted.
 

"Well...I hate to ask, but why the hell were you losing? That guy was
small" Willow asked.
 

Faith frowned, "I uh sort of have this problem...."
 

"What?" Willow asked as the girl looked at her. She noticed the way
Faith's eyes narrowed and waited.
 

"I can hardly see anything. The last week or so....each day is worse.
Today, it's all a blur. Fucking hate this!"
 

"You can't see?" Willow said. "Any you were walking around Sunnydale?!"
 

"I can take care of myself" Faith said, anger in her tone.
 

"I could see that" Spike snorted. "If Red hadn't seen you, there'd be
another slayer being called right now."
 

"Fuck off Blondie" Faith replied. "Run along back to the others."
 

"Fuck this. Leave her here. I want to know what was so bloody
frightening back at the watcher's place" Spike said, glaring at the
slayer.
 

"Spike! I can't leave her here." Willow said. "She'll have to come to my
parent's house with us. Faith, do you know what's causing the vision
problems?"
 

She shrugged, "No idea. Angel is looking into it for me....see if it's
something hellmouthy or slayery. Otherwise, I'm at a loss. So, you're
'rents' house? They gone?"
 

"For another three months" Willow said. "I need to talk to Spike
somewhere private and it seems like the best place."
 

"Ooohh..Private huh? Good thing I can still hear well....is she a
screamer blondie?"
 

Willow turned red as Spike grinned at her, "I'll be sure to tell you as
soon as I find out, Slayer."
 

"Spike!" Willow hissed, a warm feeling spreading over her at the look of
desire in his eyes. She gulped, taking a laughing Faith's arm. "Don't
encourage him, Faith. He's bad enough without it."
 

"Ah, I don't know Red. Sounds pretty wicked to me" Faith said, winking
in the general direction of red hair. She didn't want to admit it, but
she was lucky Willow had come along when she had. She'd be dead if the
girl hadn't saved her. She knew she could take care of herself, but
letting Willow help would make the girl feel good so she'd be nice
enough to allow it.
 

Spike moved in behind Willow, his body as close as he could get without
being right next to her. He picked up on the racing heartbeat and
smiled. He was affecting her, finally. Maybe things would look up soon.
He enhaled the scent of her shampoo as they walked to her old house,
Faith telling them about her trip to LA and about his sorry excuse for a
sire.
 

FEAR AND LOVE (10/?)
 

"I told you to wait for me!" Xander yelled at Anya.
 

"And I told you that I didn't want to stand around outside!" Anya yelled
back.
 

"What is your problem?" Xander asked, glaring at her.
 

She turned from him, walking away. She bumped into his table, exclaiming
as she fell to the ground. She hit her head on the corner of the table,
pain shooting through her. "Oh god..."
 

Xander's anger fled as he heard her cry out in pain. He was by her side
in a flash, his arm around her shoulders. "Goodness, babe. You've
practically killing yourself lately."
 

She looked at him, her expression dazed, "I know. I'm sorry. I didn't
mean to get blood on your shirt."
 

Xander smiled softly, "It's ok. I'm sorry I yelled. Things are just so
stressful right now and I'm worried about you...."
 

Anya grimaced, "I'm a bit clumsy these last few days, aren't I?"
 

"Slightly" he agreed, scooping her into his arms. He carried to the bed,
setting her down. He kissed her forehead before he went to get a dry
cloth. He glanced at the pile of blood covered material and then looked
back at Anya. She had been having so many accidents lately. Just last
night she had run into the washing machine, resulting in a sizable
bruise on her leg. The day before that she had tripped outside, again,
and scraped her face on the cement. He moved back to her side, brushing
the damp cloth over her newest wound. "It feel ok?"
 

She nodded, "Just hurts a bit." She let him push her back to lay down as
he looked at the latest wound. She couldn't understand what had happened
to her. She wondered if Xander's anger was because she was so stupid.
Or, if her clumsiness was happening because of his moods. Every night he
yelled about the silliest things. He always ended up catching himself
and stopping but the loudness of it bothered her. He hadn't thrown
anything at her since the towel several days before. Her wounds were all
her doing. She did hate this body, she decided. She felt his lips brush
over her forehead and closed her eyes, enjoying the quiet.
 

*************

"Giles..could you help me downstairs?" Buffy asked, standing with
difficulty. She hated this weakness. She was slowly going mad, it
seemed. The doctor assured her that she was fine and had recommended her
seeing a psychiatrist. As if she would fictionalize not being able to
walk ten feet without help. She missed patrols. She hadn't been able to
patrol for four days. Instead, Willow and Spike had been forced into it.
It wasn't their responsibilty. It was hers. And Riley wasn't much of a
help. For some reason, this last week he had been so accomadating it was
sickening. He never made any decisions around her, always giving in to
what she wanted. She was sick of it.
 

"What was that Buffy?" Giles asked.
 

"Help. Downstairs." She said slowly.
 

"Sure." Giles answered, moving to her side. He let her put her arm
around his shoulders as he helped her down the stairs. "Are you going to
call that doctor?"
 

"You think I'm making this up?" she asked, looking at him with hurt in
her eyes.
 

"Of course not" he answered, "But it might be worth a shot."
 

"Have you found anything in the journals to indicate that it might be
slayer caused? An age limit or something?" she asked, her voice hopeful.
 

"Journals?" Giles asked, handing her to Riley who had brought the car to
the front of the apartment.
 

"You said you'd check them the other night" Buffy said.
 

"Oh...I didn, didn't I?" Giles said, remembering vaguely. "I'm sorry. I
must have forgotten. I'll look into it this evening. I am sorry."
 

She grimaced, "Not a prob. I'll check with you tomorrow, ok? Why don't
you get some sleep. You seem a bit out of it."
 

"I am a bit tired" he admitted. "I'll look into those books and then hit
the bed. You take care of her, Riley."
 

"Yes sir" Riley answered, watching the man head upstairs. He set Buffy
in the car and headed back to his place. "You want to stop for some ice
cream?"
 

She shrugged, sick of always being the one to decide, "Dunno."
 

He glanced at the approaching building. He knew how much she loved
chocolate chip cookie dough and thought it might make her feel better.
He took a chance and turned into the parking lot. He was rewarded by a
large smile from Buffy and a kiss on the cheek. He had made the right
call.
 

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