Willow waited until Spike was settled before materializing again. She moved
to sit down, knowing it was merely to make him more comfortable than for her
own comfort. She gave herself weight, watching as the cushions again dipped.
Anything to rememble being normal. Spike was going to have to deal with a lot
in the next hour or so and she wanted it to go as smoothly as possible. She
smiled as she saw him look towards the kitchen. "Spike, you can eat before we
talk. This can wait a few more minutes..I mean, I've put it off for almost
six years now...."
 

He frowned, wondering what she had kept a secret from him for six years. He
said, "Thanks pet. I'll grab some blood and be back in a jiffy."
 

She watched him as he heated his breakfast and swallowed it quickly. She knew
he hated living like Angel, but she also knew he was happier than he had been
in over a hundred years. He was use to it now...use to not killing humans.
His implant had finally been removed five years before. She'd been dead
almost half a year when Riley had finally found the solution in some old
papers. She could remember how nervous the others were, not knowing if he
would suddenly kill them all. What they didn't know was that his love for her
had prevented him from following through with any of his plans to torture
them. Now, over time, he had found friendship with the group and the thought
of hurting them or their children shocked him. She wondered if he was even
aware of his feelings for the humans. She only knew from reading his thoughts
as he slept.
 

"Ok pet. What do you have to tell?" Spike asked, his tone almost hesitant. He
wasn't sure he wanted to know, to be honest. He was scared. For the first
time in over 150 years of life and undeath, he was frightened. He knew from
the resigned look in her eyes that he was going to lose her.
 

"Spike..." Willow started. "Let me just tell you as I remember it ok? I'll
try to sum it up as quickly as I can. It might not even make a lot of sense
because honestly there are times it doesn't make sense to me either."
 

"I'm ready, luv" Spike said, crossing his leg over his knee and watching her.
 

"You remember when I died..." Willow said. She saw the flash of pain in his
eyes and smiled softly, "Well, I went to this place. It was dark and I knew I
was dead. These two people....the powers that be if you will...the
elders..I've heard many different names for them....anyway, that's not the
point. They brought my soul to them. They told me that it had not been time
to go. Buffy was suppose to have saved me and killed the bad guys. It hadn't
happened the way the fates decreed it. So, they gave me a chance. An
opportunity if you will. They would allow me to remain in this realm as a
ghost to avenge my death. I could choose one person to assist me. I was given
six years to perform this task so that my soul could gain peace and move on
to a nice happy place." She looked at the floor as she spoke.
 

"IF" Spike said, not understanding but still following her story. "What if
you don't?"
 

"Eternal damnation for my soul" Willow said softly.
 

"Bloody hell" Spike cursed, "And you've waited until now to tell me? I'm
assuming I was the one you chose to help..."
 

"Yes" Willow said, looking at him. She caught his eyes. "I chose you."
 

"But" Spike said, remembering, "The slayer did kill the demon that murdered
you. We all did. I saw it, pet."
 

Willow shook her head, "No. He was the one that actually did the deed but he
wasn't the one that wanted it. He had been paid to kill me."
 

"So, you find the one who paid him, kill the bloke, get eternal peace and
leave me?" Spike said, flinching at the vulnerability in his voice.
 

"I can't" Willow said.
 

"Can't leave?" Spike asked hopefully.
 

She smiled sadly, "I have to leave Spike. I was lucky that they gave me six
years to be with you. I only chose you because I loved you so much...I
couldn't leave you. No, I can't stay. No matter how badly I want to, I will
be going on the anniversary of my death, if not before. What I meant is that
I can't kill."
 

"What?"
 

"The person who hired the demon....I can't kill. That's why I have to have
you. If I kill anyone while I am here....it is all taken back. I'll suffer in
damnation but I fear it would even be worse....right now my soul is pure.
With the death on it, well, it wouldn't be fun eternity." Willow said,
grimacing.
 

"So, you could kill but you can't....I have to kill this bloke and then turn
around and let you go?" Spike said, confused yet it did make sense. He had
gotten six years with her that he never had imagined having. If it meant
killing someone to free her soul, well, he could do that.
 

"Yes" Willow said, a tear falling across her cheek.
 

"I can do it. Tell me who and I'll kill them pet." Spike said. He saw the
look of hesitance in her eyes. "Don't worry, Red. I love you." He spoke the
words for the first time aloud.
 

"I love you too Spike....more than you can imagine. But, this will take more
than just love."
 

Spike saw the look of uncertainty. "Why?"
 

She laughed, the sound hollow. "You haven't asked me yet who it was, Spike.
Who wanted me dead so badly they hired a demon to face the scooby gang to
just insure that I was removed permanently....Don't you want to know who you
have to face and kill for me?"
 

"Who?" Spike asked softly, somehow already fearing the dreaded answer.
 

Willow smiled, the smile not touching her eyes. She said the name softly,
waiting for his reaction, "Drusilla."

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