Parts: 31 - 40
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~Part: 31~
The little minx! She tells him she loves him, kisses him like that and then wants to talk to the demon about spells? Spike was still reeling from her words. He knew that she wanted him, needed him, even cared about him, but love? Yet, she'd said the word, her eyes shining with truth. He'd assumed it would take time for her to grow to love him, to care about him as someone other than just her sire. She'd surprised him yet again. She loved him. A slow smile crossed his face as he leaned down and brushed his lips over her neck, his hand moving to lay flat against her stomach, pulling her back against his hardening erection. They would finish this discussion privately, when he could show her just how much he cared about her.
"You did another spell?" Dawn looked at Anya with accusing eyes. "You didn't ask me to help!"
"Didn't need any help, Brat," Anya said. "It was simple. I've done it a hundred times over the last eleven hundred years."
"Well, still, you could have let me watch," Dawn muttered, having liked learning about what to do with the other spell. She'd always loved listening to Willow talk about magic, enjoyed watching the different spells performed, even the ones with bad results. It just fascinated her. She figured some of it was due to the fact that she, herself, was pretty much magic. It had to run in her blood. She knew she felt power sometimes, having the prickly sensation of goosebumps whenever she was around really strong demons or vampires or Willow. Part of that awareness could have come from Buffy's slayer senses, but Dawn liked to think that it was her very own demon radar. Okay, so it had failed her a few times, her mind flashing to her date with a vampire not too long ago, but it was usually pretty consistent when she tapped into it. With Buffy around, she just rarely tried to acknowledge it, knowing her sister would freak if she had any idea that Dawn wasn't just your normal little fifteen nearly sixteen year old girl. Willow knew, though, having been told by Dawn one night following Buffy's death the previous summer. Dawn had more comfortable with it all after that conversation, knowing it was stupid to ignore a natural gift she possessed. Didn't mean she had to announce to everyone that she was even more of a freak than they thought.
"I'll give you a book, we can do some spells some other time," Anya said with a glare at the whiny brat who had interrupted her answering Willow's question.
"Really?" Dawn smiled at that, "You'd teach me? You and Willow, maybe?"
"Of course we'll teach you, Dawny," Willow said, not very surprised to find that the girl had an interest in magic. She had memories of showing the teen relaxation spells and other small, harmless bits of magic.
"What spell were you doing, demon?" Spike asked, wanting this conversation to end so that he could take his redhead into the bedroom and shag her senseless. Teach her to drop a bombshell such as I love you and then start an insane rambling discussion with the two talkative girls.
"Oh, it's a protection spell of sorts," Anya said vaguely. She'd been meaning to perform it since the wedding had been called off and she'd moved into the apartment, but hadn't gotten around to it until now.
"Protection against what?" Dawn asked.
"You know about the whole vampire must be invited into a home thing, right?" Anya said, "well, there is a spell that works in sort of the same way. I found it about a hundred years after I became a demon. Memorized it and use it when it is needed."
"What do you mean, it's sort of like the vampire thing?" Willow asked, "That's not a spell."
"This one is a spell, though. It's an invitation spell," Anya said, seeing their confused looks she groaned, "Let me use small words. It means that no one can enter my home without my invitation. Demons, vampires, or humans."
"That's just cool," Dawn said, glad that Anya was so old and knew so many different people and spells that could help. "That means that Buffy and Xander couldn't come in here and try to take Willow away!"
"That's why I used it, Brat," Anya rolled her eyes. "I'd use it anytime I stayed in an area for longer than a few days. I've been meaning to do it on this place for weeks, but never got around to it until now. Better safe than sorry has always been my motto."
"That's a good motto," Dawn nodded, deciding that might become her new motto.
"Do you think they would try to hurt me?" Willow asked quietly. She felt nothing when she thought of her old friends. They hadn't been very close for years, drifting apart after high school. There were very few new memories of them at all, in fact. She knew she had loved them once, had still cared for them up until her death, but now she felt nothing. Old memories of happier times, scattered memories of the last few years, a sad smile crossed her face as she realized that she had lost her best friends over time.
"I don't think they'd want to hurt you, Willow," Dawn said slowly, watching the sad smile on Willow's face, "but they might hurt you without realizing they were hurting you. Does that make sense?"
"They hurt you," Willow said, her eyes moving over the bruises that were still on Dawn's wrist.
"They'll probably try to restore your soul," Anya said matter of factly, "when that doesn't work, they'll ignore you. That's what they did with me, in a way. Tried to get me to give up the demon again. When I said no, they acted like I never existed."
"You're right," Willow said slowly, knowing how Buffy and Xander had acted towards Anya and remembering how they had treated Spike, Faith, and even Angel. They would forget her soon enough. The sooner the better in her opinion. She had no desire to fight her former friends, but would kill them in a heartbeat if it came to that. She would remain in control and let them see that there was nothing they could do except leave her and hers alone.
"Their world is black and white, which is really stupid considering they fight demons and vampires which is so gray an area it's ridiculous," Dawn spoke up, telling them what she had told Buffy and Xander in the hospital. "I don't think we have anything to worry about, but it is better safe than sorry."
"They're too scared to try anything except a lot of talking," Anya muttered, knowing that was the main reason they hadn't tried to force her to leave and had just decided to ignore her. As long as she wasn't doing anything they considered evil, they'd ignore her rather than face her. Willow was far more powerful as a vampire than she had been as a witch, and Anya knew there was not a chance in hell of Buffy risking her life in regards to the redhead. If anything, the slayer would probably be relieved not to have to deal with a vampire that looked like her best friend. As for Xander, he was an idiot that didn't deserve her even thinking about him, though he was the reason she had done the second spell. She imagined that he would show up eventually to try to find out what was happening. Okay, to his credit, he did consider Willow his best friend at one time, even if he was too stupid to realize that they had grown apart years ago. He would be concerned about the redhead, of that Anya had no doubt, but she knew Xander. He was a nice guy and might even be able to realize that Willow was still Willow, but he had a terrible habit of speaking without thinking. Rather than risk him getting killed for mouthing off like an idiot to Willow and forcing the redhead to deal with the knowledge that she had killed someone she had once loved, she'd make sure he couldn't even get into the apartment. With the right amount of time, he'd calm down and Willow would be ignored.
"And threats," Spike said, remembering all the empty threats he had heard from the slayer.
"I'm feeling a bit tired and sleepy," Willow confessed softly, having been out of bed longer this time than any other. She was tired of thinking about her old friends, just wanted to feel Spike's arms around her as she slept. She glanced at him, saw the soft smile on his face as he looked at her, remembered that she had told him she loved him, wondered what he was thinking. She did love him, had loved him for years. Death and a demon hadn't changed that, merely made her strong enough to be honest about what she felt. She'd always been scared to tell him before, ignoring her feelings as she had moved on to Tara to whom she had felt a soft love for. Looking into his eyes, she recognized that he, too, loved her. Oh, he might not say the words yet, but it was there. She smiled at him, snuggling against him as she moved her butt deliberately over his erection, "Take me to bed, Spike?"
"Of course, luv," his eyes narrowed as desire flashed when she moved against him. He got to his feet, lifting her against him as he nodded at the others, "g'night, girls."
"Night, Anya, Dawn," Willow said before laying her head against Spike's cool chest.
"Should we tell them that it's only afternoon?" Dawn asked with a faint smile at Anya.
"No point," Anya said as she turned on the television, finding an action movie on cable. "It's not like they're going to be sleeping anyway. Just my luck to hand over my bedroom to a couple of sexaholics that can't seem to get enough of each other."
"I think it's sweet," Dawn laughed,
"Not your sheets they're staining up," Anya muttered before looking at the teen and joining her in laughter. "God, I sound bitter and jealous, don't I? How about this movie? It has attractive men and guns."
"If the last times are anything to go by, pick something really loud," Dawn giggled, loving the idea that Spike and Willow seemed to be perfect together but not really wanting to hear the sounds of their mating. It would just make her feel warm and tingling in places she didn't need to be feeling tingly and make her imagine what it might be looking like in the other room which would increase the tingly feeling. Nope, much better to get lose in a loud movie and just be glad that her two friends seemed so happy considering everything that had happened in the last day.
"I'll make some popcorn," Anya said as she turned the volume up just a bit higher before tossing the remote to the teenager. "Let me know if anyone dies violently. I want to see that!"
"You're horrible," Dawn laughed at the demon before turning her attention to the movie that was just starting.
~Part: 32~
"I love you," Willow whispered again as Spike entered her, his mouth moving over her neck as he licked at her skin.
Spike groaned at her words, moving deep into her. When they had entered the bedroom over an hour before, he'd demanded to hear her repeat those three words, needing to reassure himself that he hadn't been hearing things. She'd smiled that special smile and said them, her eyes sincere but cautious, as if she wasn't sure how he would react to her feelings. He'd moved towards her, claiming her mouth in a kiss that had lasted longer than any other in his memory, the taste of her so intoxicating he'd not wanted to stop. By the time he pulled free, they were naked and she was ready for him. He'd moved her to the bed, entering her completely and that was where he had been ever since. They'd made love, because there was no doubt in his mind that what he was feeling for her was love. It was the first time he'd made love in years. Hell, probably a century if he were completely honest with himself.
While he had loved Drusilla all those years, they'd never had a moment such as this. His sire had been trained to want pain, to not find enjoyment in tenderness or soft fleeting touches. She'd only been able to cum if she were being hurt, if it was rough and animalistic. Angelus had made sure that Dru would never want to be cuddled or held, the handsome vampire not having time or patience for such activity. After Dru, well, Spike tried his best not to think about the mistake that was Harmony. He'd been lonely and she'd been convenient. He'd not wanted to touch her anymore than was needed to find his own release, kicking her out of the bed as soon as he had cum usually. As for Buffy, well, tender and gentle would not be two words used to describe their times together either. She'd wanted to fuck and he'd obliged. He'd fucked her like no one ever would, giving her everything she had needed but never getting anything in return. He'd let her use him the way he had used Harmony. Pathetic, it was. He could look back now and be disgusted at his actions, at how weak he had been. She'd never wanted him, never liked him, and he hadn't cared. He'd have gladly followed her anywhere for any scrap of decency she'd have thrown him. She would never have loved him, though. She was like Drusilla in that way. Hell, maybe that was one reason he'd wanted her in the first place. She'd reminded him of his beautiful sire that would never love him.
He felt cool fingers brushing over his cheeks, a thumb against his lips. Raising his head, he opened his eyes, the memories leaving him immediately when he looked into her green eyes. She loved him. This beautiful creature, so full of strength and power, loved him. There was only truth in her eyes, sincerity in her touch, need in her kiss, desire in her voice. She was beyond anything he'd ever imagined. He'd dreamed of claiming her, wanted nothing more than to spend eternity with her, but he'd never once considered she would love him. He'd had plans to seduce her, to hear her begging for him, but never dared hope that she would give herself willingly, that she would look at him like she was now. He'd resigned himself long ago to the fact that Drusilla was right, that he would never find anyone to love, had given up the search even before he had found Willow. Now, he felt like a fool. A blind, stupid fool. All those years, she'd wanted him, had loved him, and he'd never once seen it. Oh, sure, he'd seen signs of a crush. Had thought for a while back after her wolf left that she might be interested but figured it was just some passing fancy on her part. She'd never said anything, had fallen into her sickeningly sweet relationship with the little witch that hadn't deserved to touch her much less love her. And he'd decided that he'd imagined things, that she'd never have wanted him. She was pure, even with the magic flowing in her veins. She was innocent despite the evil that she had seen throughout the years. She was unattainable, something that he had secretly coveted and desired even when he had turned his attentions to Buffy and the mixed up feelings the slayer caused in him. She'd been attainable, in a way, something he knew he could possess eventually. He'd hoped she would fill the emptiness in his life, but she hadn't. She'd used him and thrown him away when she was finished, and he could blame no one but himself.
He guessed he couldn't really bitch too much. If it had happened differently, if he'd made so much as one alternate choice, he wouldn't be where he was now, he wouldn't have what he now had. He wouldn't have Willow. When he looked at things that way, imagining life without his beautiful childe, well, it was all worth it. The implant, Harmony, miserable years in Sunnyhell, even Buffy. It was worth every second of unhappiness and pain to now have his stunning Red in his life, in his bed, for eternity. He'd never vocalize that realization, knowing he sounded worse than the horrible poet he had once been. It was hard to believe that it had only been a day, twenty-four hours, since he had first taken Willow into his arms as she lay dying. He honestly couldn't imagine his life now without her by his side. She was not only his childe, but she was becoming his companion, his lover, his friend. She needed him, wanted him, loved him in ways that no one in his life ever had before. Even now, she was looking at him with devotion and lust and so many other emotions burning in those brilliant green eyes that had haunted his dreams for so many years. He couldn't speak the words yet, had been hurt too often in his past by saying them, could not risk taking the chance yet, but he could show her with his touch, with his eyes, with his lips what he could not yet say. He loved her.
Willow whimpered when Spike caught her lips, glad to see that he had stopped thinking the thoughts that had clouded his eyes and halted his movements, glad to see that he was looking at her with that look in his eyes, the look that made her believe she was the most important thing in the world. She returned his kiss with every bit of passion she could find, her body arching up against him as he entered her deeply. This was different from their other times together. They'd explored each other, tasted and touched, kissed and cuddled. There was still need, but they were enjoying each other in a way that they hadn't yet. She loved the taste of herself mixed with his taste, sucking on his tongue as she tightened herself around him. She heard him growl, felt him moving faster, took delight in being able to cause such a reaction in him. She liked being the reason he would lose control. She met each of his thrusts, knowing he would not last long. They'd both found release several times during their hours of playing and taking things slowly and tenderly, but she recognized the signs of his impending release. She felt his mouth move from hers and smiled a satisfied smile as his eyes looked into hers. She whispered, "I love you," for what could have been the hundredth time since they'd entered the bedroom, watching as his eyes flashed with pleasure at her words. Too soon, she was biting into his neck as she came, her orgasm causing her to tighten even more around his cock. His teeth entered her neck as his seed spilled inside her.
Spike felt her feeding from him, his cock hardening again as her tongue moved over his flesh. He came instantly, confusion entering his blue eyes for just a moment as he realized what had happened. Willow was only the second person with whom he'd had that kind of reaction, cumming from being fed on. His mind flashed to his past as he moved his tongue over her neck. That had been one of Angelus' games, fucking then feeding then fucking some more. The bastard had loved training Spike to harden from the feel of his teeth in his neck, had enjoyed laughing at the sight of the younger vampire on his knees with cum dripping from his ass, his cock dripping with his seed and hard again just from feeding his sire. How many nights had Spike been forced to wank for Angelus' pleasure after the bastard had fed from him? Memories of his seed spilling into a dirty alley, of Angelus' silky voice praising him for being a good boy, of his sire's hand stroking himself until his seed had spilled onto Spike's face, of Angelus' fingers forcing him to lick the seed off. Sometimes, he'd be forced to take Angelus in his mouth, other times it would be in his ass again. There were rare times that Angelus would just let him get up and get dressed, but usually the elder vampire would fuck him at least two to three times, forcing him to submit and breaking whatever spirit or defiance might have existed.
By the end, when Angelus received his soul, Spike had been very well trained, hating what would happen, loving what would happen, needing it to happen because it meant that Angelus wanted him, had craved him in the same way that he had craved his sire. He'd hated his reaction to Angelus, resented it, but he'd accepted it, had needed it in a way. Oh, yes, by that time, he'd been a good boy, but it had never been enough. Nothing was enough for Angelus. The bastard would never admit to wanting anyone or needing anyone, would lash out even more because of reactions he couldn't control, or didn't want to control. It was always the same during those sessions. Hunting, feeding, fucking, feeding his sire, more fucking, then would follow the worst part of it. As soon as Angelus was dressed again, it would be back to the cruelty and disgust at how pathetic Spike was, about what a disappointment he was. That silky voice lazily listing all of his faults, all of the weaknesses of humanity he had seemed to retain, all of the ways that he wasn't good enough. And Angelus would never let him clean himself off, seeming to enjoy forcing the younger vampire to get dressed again covered in blood and cum, liked knowing that he'd had his strong granchilde on his knees begging for his cock. Just part of a game that Angelus was unable to stop playing. And, when they'd leave the alley or wherever Angelus had decided to fuck him, Angelus would become his sire again, his voice changing to that of a teacher, instructing Spike on the ways of vampires.
Spike brought himself back to reality, not wanting to get lost in the past when he had such a wonderful future and present to concentrate on. He felt his childe release her hold on his neck, purring softly as she licked at the wound she had created. She pulled her head back and looked at him, that special smile on her face as she looked into his eyes, her hand touching his face before she sleepily closed her eyes and snuggled closer to him. He slid out of her, moving to her side as his arms brought her closer to him. He watched her sleep, his blue eyes moving over the lines of her face as she rested. Willow brought out things in him he'd thought forgotten. His reaction to her scared him at the same time it pleased him. It almost felt like it was happening too fast at the same time it felt like it wasn't happening fast enough. It felt right, being with her. For the first time in decades, his life felt complete. He didn't have an ache for something he couldn't understand, he didn't feel restless or unhappy. He couldn't explain it, couldn't find words to describe what was happening between them. He just knew that something had changed, something had happened, and it was right. Call it fate or destiny or whatever fancy word you wanted, he just knew he'd experienced it. Call it the sappy romantic poet that lingered a bit inside, but he could think of no other explanation. She was meant for him, had been meant to be his, just as he was meant for her, just as he was hers.
~Part: 33~
"How about a comedy?" Dawn asked Anya as she flipped through the channels.
"I don't like comedy much," Anya admitted, hating that the action movie was over. It had turned out to be enjoyable, the lead was rather cute and there had been lots of scenes with explosions and death. "They're either very stupid or romantic."
"True," Dawn nodded, knowing that she wasn't a fan of stupid comedies herself, but, she did love romantic comedies, always liking the happy endings and sweet stories.
"If I wanted romance, I'd go watch our vampires making googly eyes at each other some more," Anya muttered, pleased that Spike and Willow had found some sort of connection that seemed to transcend the typical sire/childe relationship at the same time she was jealous of them for having someone to love.
"I think they're past the googly eyes by now and up to the NC17 parts by now," Dawn said with a slight smile. "Actually, it's been awhile since they went in there, so they're probably to the sleeping after the NC17 parts part."
"Parts part?" Anya repeated with a slight smile. She rolled her eyes as she grabbed the remote and hit the mute button. She listened intently before nodding and turning the volume back on, "It's quiet. Willow's probably sleeping. After all, she's still weak and needs her rest. It will be a few more days before she'd to full strength. She's doing much better than I imagined though. I have to remind myself that she's a vampire now, you know? I mean, she's different in some ways, but she's so much like the Willow I knew before that it was difficult to remember that she was undead."
"I understand completely," Dawn agreed, smiling at the idea that someone else was feeling the same way that she had felt. "It's like our Willow with a few small changes. It doesn't seem like she's a vampire at times then something will happen to remind me that she's been turned."
"I've never been around anyone after they were turned, so it's interesting to see how it all happens," Anya said thoughtfully, "I've always assumed the demon took over as soon as a vampire awoke and made them like those idiots we fought in the graveyards. I figured the few that we knew that were more intelligent were trained to control the demon. I guess I was right in some ways, but Willow was able to control her demon without training. It makes me wonder if the others just don't bother to try to control it. I guess it is easier to give in to the demon rather than fight it, but it changes what I've always thought."
"Well, I think it helped that Willow woke up with Spike there, her sire holding her and helping her. Those fledges that Buffy fights wake up alone in a grave and probably don't have any idea what's happening much less how to fight it even if they wanted to," Dawn said after giving it some thought.
"I guess that's the large difference between a minion and a true childe," Anya replied, "the presence of a sire and a determination to control the demon as well as other things that can't be understood."
"I'm glad that I'm able to understand some of it," Dawn said, "because it makes it less scary to think about what happened. I'm glad that Willow wasn't like that other version that came here from the other universe, and I'm glad that Spike is her sire and that he seems to really care about her. I'm also glad that Willow is adjusting so well and remembers me and doesn't hate me for everything that happened."
"You made the right choice, Brat," Anya said seriously. She got Dawn's attention, seeing the uncertainty in the girl's eyes and continuing, "No matter what anyone else might say, it was the right choice. It was the only choice. You were put into a situation that would have made most people hysterical. You did good, kid, and I don't plan on repeating that so I hope you were listening."
"I was listening," Dawn smiled slowly, glad to hear Anya's words. Despite everything that had happened, she had still had some doubts in the back of her head that she had made the wrong choice. She couldn't imagine life without Willow, though, and knew in her heart and her head that she'd done the right thing. Spike was happier than she could ever remember seeing him, Anya was being nice to her even if the demon would deny it if confronted, and Willow didn't seem at all unhappy to be a vampire. Dawn knew that she'd have to deal with Buffy and Xander soon enough, but she had already moved past the worst part of that experience. She wasn't worried at all about facing them, knowing there was nothing that they could do to change things now. Besides, she had hopes that they'd both realize that everything that had happened was for the best. She couldn't see how they could argue that it would have been better to let Willow die. With time, maybe they'd realize that it had all worked out well in the end.
"Good," Anya said gruffly, finding another action movie and smiling, "Look. A big fire and half naked men."
"Look at the fire. Pretty," Dawn said with a giggle.
"It's not an action movie," Anya grumbled as dramatic music began to play. "Why do they give us half naked men and explosions and then ruin it by playing sappy music?"
"Look at the half naked men and forget the music," Dawn advised, trying to figure out what Anya had found to watch. "Why are they dancing around the fire?"
"They're trying to block out the sappy music?" Anya suggested. "The sounds of their dancing feet are louder than the violins."
"Oh, my!" Dawn's eyes widened slightly as she watched one of the men losing his pants as he continued dancing. She saw his butt naked for a second before her view was covered. "Anya!"
"Why must unattractive actors be the ones to show us their shortcomings?" Anya muttered as her hand swiftly moved to cover Dawn's eyes. "You can't see the nasty man's penis, Brat. While it may resemble a small, limp hot dog, you are too young to be watching it flop around."
"Anya, move your hand," Dawn whined, rather liking that Anya was trying to protect her from the image at the same time she was annoyed that the demon thought she was a child, "I'm nearly sixteen! Besides, I won't look. He's ugly and I wouldn't want to see him naked anyway. Fine, turn the channel then!"
"That's a good idea," Anya decided as she pushed a button on the remote. She removed her hand as soon as she changed the channel, smiling as she declared, "This is better."
"Cartoons?" Dawn said, rolling her eyes before she smiled, "Oh, it's Johnny Bravo. I love Johnny Bravo!"
"I'm hungry," Anya decided as she stood up, "do you want some food?"
"Sure," Dawn asked, "do you need some help?"
"I'm fine. You watch your cartoons," Anya smiled slightly as she went into the kitchen, leaving the teenager laughing at something the cartoon character was saying.
~Part: 34~
"Where are you going, luv?"
Willow turned and found blue eyes watching her, a lazy smile on his handsome face as he waited for her answer. She'd woken up only a few minutes before, having found him sleeping beside her. She'd not wanted to disturb his sleep so she'd quietly gotten out of bed. It would appear that he'd not been sleeping after all. She gestured towards the bathroom, telling him, "I was going to take a shower, Spike. I thought you were asleep and didn't want to wake you."
"I was," Spike said as he sat up and moved to lean back against the bed. His eyes moved over her nude form, his cock reacting just from looking at his beautiful childe. He ran a hand through his hair as he muttered, "I woke up when I felt you leave our bed."
"Anya's bed," Willow reminded, not able to keep the smile of pleasure from crossing her face when she heard his words. She moved back towards the bed, her eyes on his as she sat on the side of the bed. She reached over and took his hand, bringing it to her mouth as she whispered, "I love you," before she kissed his fingers.
"Red," Spike groaned as he felt her tongue move over his palm. He didn't want her to stop, his mind flashing to visions of her tongue on his hardening cock, knowing that it wouldn't stop until he was buried inside her once again. One look, one touch….that's all it took to have him hard and ready for her. She was getting stronger, the hours of rest being exactly what she needed. It wouldn't be much longer before she would be at full strength. He was so very proud of her, knowing that she had exceeded his expectations. He looked up, into her eyes, and he saw the lust and love that was becoming familiar. He also saw a mischievous gleam that went perfectly with the wicked smile that was crossing her gorgeous face. She wanted to play.
"I love how you taste, Spike," she said as her eyes continued to look into his. She moaned as she sucked on his finger, wetness beginning to leak from between her legs. She watched his eyes flash yellow as he sniffed the air, knowing that he could smell her arousal as clearly as she smelled his. She moved his hand down her chin past her neck until she reached her breast. She cupped her breast with his hand, whispering, "I love how you touch me, Spike," before she licked her lips and moved his hand lower, wondering how long he would be able to remain still, enjoying the power she had been given by him allowing her to play. She rested his hand flat against her stomach as she leaned over and ran her tongue along his own stomach. She felt his body tense when her tongue first touched him, making her way past the hair that led down to his cock. He was hard, the tip leaking, her eyes flashing yellow as she took him in her mouth. She cried out when his hand moved from beneath hers, his fingers entering her tightness as he moved her to lay on top of him. She straddled his face as she continued to suck him, whimpering when she felt his tongue on her, his fingers moving to cup her ass as he feasted on her, causing her to suck him even harder, her tongue memorizing every inch of his cock. Her hands weren't still as they moved behind him, finding his firm ass and squeezing as she bobbed her head up and down. She moved one finger between his ass cheeks, feeling his hands squeeze her ass tightly as she pushed her finger into him. She listened to him moan, felt him thrust back against her hand, a smile crossing her face as she began to move it inside him, thrusting in time with her sucking.
Spike felt her add another finger to his ass, her mouth continuing to tease and torment as she gave him her full concentration. He buried his face between her legs, her juices coating his skin as he tasted her, trying to make her as needy as he felt at the moment. He was rewarded with her moan as he sucked on her clit, his black fingernails digging into her ass cheeks as he held her still. His head fell back on the pillow as he arched up, not able to control himself when she added a third finger. It felt unbelievable, her mouth on his cock, her fingers buried in his ass. He began to thrust into her mouth, ignoring everything for the moment except finding his release. He could feel himself brushing the back of her throat, her nose on his balls, knew she had taken his entire length as he groaned, his hands moving over her back as he closed his eyes, giving himself over to the feel and smell and taste of her. Too soon, he was coming, a growl coming from his lips as he sent his seed into her throat. She sucked him dry, her tongue licking every bit of his flesh as he gasped for breath he no longer needed. He felt her move, lifting his head in protest when she moved before he could give her release.
"Shh, love," she said with a smile as she saw him about to speak. She moved her hand between her thighs, her eyes catching his as she licked her lips, enjoying the taste of his release in her mouth. She ran her finger along her wet cunt, bringing the dripping digit to her mouth. She sucked it inside, her eyes still on his. She watched his eyes as she removed her finger, telling him, "I love the taste of us."
"Us," he repeated, knowing full well that he was past her teasing and games. He needed to be inside her, now. His beautiful, sexy, seductive childe. He moved to reach for her, glaring at her as she moved off the bed, her eyes bright with amusement and arousal as she giggled. "Red, stop playing. I want you."
"I want you, too," she said with a smile, her hand moving to cup her breast as she backed away from the bed, "but I'm all dirty and need to wash...." she gave him a smile as she added, "it would be nice to have someone to wash my back, sire."
A slow smile crossed his face as he realized what she meant, "I suppose I could wash your back, childe. You see, some naughty little girl has been shagging me silly for the last day and I haven't had time to shower either, pet."
"You smell so good, Spike," she said with a possessive smile as she watched him stand, her eyes moving over his frame, taking pleasure in the marks she had made on his body. He smelled of her, her claim on him undeniable. He was hers.
"As do you, luv," he replied, liking the look in her eyes, enjoying the scent of their combined smells. He caught her chin as he pushed her hand away from her breast, kissing her deeply before pulling back and smiling as he said, "I'll wash your back, my pretty pet, and then I'm going to fuck you against the wall until you're begging for release."
Willow smiled at his words, a fresh wave of arousal hitting her as she said, "I want you now, Spike," before kissing him roughly. With a playful smile, she took hold of his hard cock and led him into the bathroom, turning the water on and facing him, not wanting to wait any longer before feeling him inside her. She moaned as he entered her, her legs going around his waist as she felt the wall of the shower behind her, the water falling down upon them as he moved inside her. Her mouth caught his in a passionate kiss as she moved against him. Playing was over, the shower could wait. Right now, she just wanted to fuck.
~Part: 35~
"What are we doing tonight, Brain?" Dawn asked Anya in an imitation of the cartoon mouse they were currently watching.
"Tonight, Pinky, we do what we do every night," Anya responded with a slight laugh, "we try to take over the world!"
"This show is so cute!" Dawn laughed as another episode of Pinky and the Brain began, singing along to the theme song as she moved her head up and down when it got to repetition of brain, brain, brain that she adored.
"Brain is my kinda mouse," Anya agreed, having spent the last two hours watching the marathon of the cartoon with Dawn. She'd never seen it until tonight and found herself enjoying it a lot.
"I told you that you'd like it," Dawn reminded with a smile.
"Shut up, Brat," Anya said with a roll of her eyes. She straightened as she heard the sound of a shower, her eyes moving to the closed bedroom door, "It sounds like our vampires are finally awake."
"It's about time," Dawn said, "I was beginning to think they were going to stay in bed all day and night."
"They're in the shower," Anya said, making a face, "and I can imagine what they're doing in there. Good grief. Just my luck to open my home to two sex addicted vampires. This must be my punishment for always wanting sex when I was human."
"The shower?" Dawn grew thoughtful, trying to figure out how that would be possible, "Is there enough room for that in there? Wait, they're standing up, aren't they? I saw that on TV before, but it looked kind of uncomfortable. I guess that Spike doesn't care cause he's got all that vampire strength and all so lifting Willow is probably nothing at all, plus I bet his mind is not on how tired his arms are getting but on more naughty things."
"Can we please not discuss how Spike is currently fucking Willow in my shower?" Anya whined, before turning to look at Dawn and smiling as she said, "It isn't very comfortable but it is fun. And you don't need vampire strength to perform the position, but I'm sure it helps. Xander always got tired and usually dropped me as soon as it was over, but it's exciting and slightly rough so it doesn't take long to get off."
"Okay, can we please not have details of Xander and you doing stuff like that?" Dawn asked, shuddering as the vision of Spike in all his naked yumminess having kinky sex with Willow was replaced by a chubby Xander dropping a bitching Anya.
Anya smiled sweetly, "Why? You are the teen that seems to be obsessed with talking about sex, after all. I'm merely treating you as the adult that you claim to be."
"Ha ha," Dawn glared at the demon, "you made your point. I'm not that adult yet, I guess. Images of naked Xander are not something that I want stuck in my head."
"I can agree completely," Anya said, any feelings she had once had for the human she had almost married having faded over the last few months until they were dim memories that brought a smile of regret usually mixed with annoyance. She didn't hate him, but she no longer loved him either.
"Much prefer images of naked Spike and Willow," Dawn said, pushing away images of Xander and replacing them once again with kinky sex having vampires.
"Yes, naked Spike is definitely a wonderful image," Anya agreed with a smile.
"See? We do have things in common," Dawn pointed out with a smile. "We both like Pinky and the Brain, we both love Willow, we both think Spike is a hottie, we both think Buffy's a selfish bitch, and we both don't want to think about Xander being naked."
"We are not bonding, Brat," Anya said with a shake of her head. "Get rid of whatever ideas are inside your silly little teenage mind. I'm tolerating you because…well, because…."
"See?" Dawn beamed as the demon was unable to come up with an adequate excuse for being nice to her, "we are becoming friends!"
"No, we're not," Anya denied. "I'm a demon, an evil horrible demon that has spent over a thousand years tormenting men and acting out wishes of vengeance. There is no way that some talkative, whiny, sex obsessed, silly little teenage girl is ever going to be considered my friend. It's not going to happen, Brat. Nope, no way. I'm tolerating you now because you saved Willow. That's it."
"Sure, Anya," Dawn just smiled, having never imagined becoming friends with Anya. She'd never liked the woman even when she had been human, but she could realize now that she'd never really gotten to know her. She'd had memories of having a crush on Xander and that meant she didn't like Anya because she'd been jealous. After spending the last day with the demon, though, she liked to think they were becoming friends. Anya could deny it all she wanted, but Dawn knew they were growing closer.
"You're annoying," Anya said, knowing that the girl was crazy. Okay, so maybe she found it not so horrible to be around Dawn as she would have believed. The teen wasn't as whiny or irritating as she had always thought, showing a maturity that was surprising, but she was talkative and curious and annoying. Anya might respect the girl, but they weren't friends.
"Yeah, that's what Willow always says," Dawn laughed, "she says that I'm an annoying pest that asks too many questions and that I need to eat less sugar. She also says that I'm smart and loyal and funny and that she's glad I'm her friend."
"Hmph," was Anya's response.
Before Dawn could respond, the bedroom door opened. Spike entered the room, nodding at them, "Morning."
"More like evening," Dawn said with a smile. He was definitely a hottie. Wearing only those same jeans barely buttoned, his hair obviously wet, water dripping down his chest...what had she been talking about? Oh yeah, she remembered. Moving her eyes off of his body to look at his face, she asked, "How's Willow doing?"
"Red's getting stronger," Spike shrugged, "the rest is doing her good. She'll be out in a second, actually. She's finishing getting dressed and then you can ask her yourself."
As soon as Spike finished talking, Willow entered the room. Her hair was wet and she was wearing Spike's shirt, but she looked refreshed. She moved to his side, brushing her lips over his cheek before looking at Dawn and smiling, "Hey, Dawny. What have you been doing?"
"Watching cartoons," Dawn said, still finding it a bit odd that Willow was so like her old self.
"She introduced me to Pinky and the Brain," Anya said with a slight smile.
"Oh, I love Brain!" Willow said with a smile at the demon, "And Pinky always reminded me of Xander for some reason."
"That's believable," Anya responded with a wink at the redhead vampire. "Are you hungry? Do you need anything?"
"I'm fine, but thanks," Willow said as Spike sat down in the chair. She moved to sit on the arm, resting her cheek against his wet hair. He'd followed through on his words, fucking her in the shower until she'd been nearly hoarse from begging. She'd realized that playing with him was fun, and that he liked to win. She liked to win, too, but it was more fun when they both won, as they did tonight.
"Spike?" Anya asked.
"I'm good, thanks," he responded, his right arm moving around Willow's waist as he held her.
Dawn smiled as she watched them. They seemed happy, both smiling slightly as they watched the cartoon, their contact casual but meaningful. She'd always known they belonged together, but it was so satisfying to see proof that she was right. Spike looked so more relaxed than she had ever seen him, his eyes were sparkling and he was smiling. As for Willow, she looked beautiful and happy. They were good for each other. Seeing them together made Dawn believe that there was such a thing as fate. She settled back to watch cartoons with her friends, laughing as they talked about the cute mice with plans of world domination.
It was after nine o'clock when Spike tensed, his blue eyes moving to look at the front door. He sniffed the air, yellow flashing in his eyes as he recognized the scent. He felt Willow's hand on his shoulder, looked up into her beautiful green eyes and said, "Go to the bedroom, now."
"What's wrong, Spike?" she asked, confusion evident on her face. She sniffed the air, placing a new scent that was getting closer. "What is it?"
"Do not question me, childe," he snarled as he grabbed her arm tightly. He stood and kissed her swiftly and thoroughly. Pulling back, he caught her confused eyes, saying softly, "go now, luv, and don't come out until I say. Okay?"
She nodded, obeying her sire without question this time as she went into the bedroom, wondering why she had been sent away and why Spike had been angry and worried. Spike waited until the door was closed before he turned to look at Anya and Dawn, making a face as he said, "Get ready, girls. The moron is here."
~Part: 36~
Xander stood outside Anya's front door, wondering if he had made the right choice. It had been, he glanced at his watch mentally doing the arithmetic, nearly eleven hours since Dawn's visit to the hospital. Eleven hours that he'd sat beside Buffy's bed, watching as one of his best friend's laid staring at the ceiling, asking him if Willow was really gone, if she'd really lost her best friend, if Dawn had said what she thought she'd said. To say he'd been shocked by Dawn's announcement would be an understatement. He couldn't remember exactly what all had been said, having been worried about Buffy at the first and then caught up in thoughts of Willow being a vampire, visions of senior year flashing in his mind. It had taken Buffy less time to comprehend it all, the drugs delaying her processing abilities a bit but she'd seemed to understand everything when the door had closed behind Dawn. It was only after Dawn had left, when he'd sat down and the full realization of everything she had said had hit him, that he'd realized that he'd lost Willow.
He'd gone to the window and seen Dawn getting into Anya's car, feeling a bit relieved that she, at least, wasn't alone. When he'd turned back to face Buffy, he'd seen the tears on the slayer's face, the haunted look in her hazel eyes, and he'd known that nothing would ever be the same. Willow was dead. Well, undead as it would seem. Tara was gone, killed by the bastard that had killed Willow and nearly killed Buffy. He'd taken Buffy's hand, neither one saying a word as tears had fallen. He'd spent the majority of those eleven hours thinking about everything that Dawn had said, about his own actions, about what had happened. Dawn had been forced into making a decision that he, himself, would never have dared made, and he didn't know how he felt about it.
Willow was a vampire. Not only was she a vampire, but she was Spike's childe. Spike. Xander hated Spike nearly as much as he hated Angel, and he knew the feeling was reciprocated. He wanted to know why Spike turned Willow. He didn't believe for one minute that it had been out of the goodness of the bleached blond bastard's heart. There had to be something in it for Spike to have done it, Xander just didn't know what. He didn't trust Spike as far as he could throw him, which wasn't very far. He'd waited until Buffy was asleep before he'd left the hospital. He wanted some answers, and he'd known where to go to find them. Anya's new apartment.
Now, he was standing at her door wondering if this was a good idea after all. He didn't know what he was going to say, had no idea why he was there. No, that wasn't true. He needed to see Willow. He needed to see for himself that his best friend of fifteen years was dead. He wanted to look into her eyes and see if Dawn was right, to see if a soul really didn't make a difference. He needed reassurance that she wasn't evil and psychotic, that Dawn wasn't in danger, that none of them were in danger. He wanted to see if she was still Willow or if she was some monster that he no longer recognized. He wanted to figure out if he was glad that Dawn had saved her or not.
He wasn't really looking forward to seeing Dawn, knowing that everything she had said was right at the same time he knew that he wouldn't ever admit the truth in her words. As for Anya, well, that opened old wounds that had yet to heal. He'd loved her more than he'd ever loved anyone except for Willow and Buffy, knew he was partially to blame for her becoming a demon again, felt guilty every time he saw her at the same time he felt relief that he hadn't gone through with the marriage. And then there was Spike. There was no way around seeing the vampire, no way to avoid looking into his smirking face and knowing that he'd saved Willow from a death in which she would not have awakened.
Xander gathered his courage, knowing it was pointless to prolong the inevitable. He raised his hand and knocked, hoping that he'd have some sort of plan in mind by the time the door opened. Within a minute, Anya was looking at him, and he was no closer to knowing what he was going to say. He frowned at the look on her face, not liking the fact that she was glaring at him. He kept his tone low as he said, "Hey, Anya."
"What do you want?" Anya asked, not at all pleased to see him standing at her door. She watched his eyes narrow as he stood up straighter.
"I want to see Willow," he said curtly, not liking the look of disgust in her eyes as she looked at him. What gave her the right to judge him?
"Xander, run along back to your slayer and leave us alone," Anya said with a sigh, glancing to the side and seeing Spike glaring at the door, knowing that Xander was better off just leaving. Spike was not in a mood to chat and there was no way in hell that Xander would be allowed to see Willow that night, if ever. She fully remembered Spike's warning to her and Dawn, knew she wasn't about to risk pissing him off because Xander had decided to play concerned friend a day and a half after he'd forgotten Willow in his haste to take care of Buffy.
"I want to see Willow," Xander repeated, wondering who Anya was looking at. He tried to look inside, his eyes widening when he found himself unable to move past the doorway. There was an invisible barrier up that was keeping him from entering the apartment. He looked at Anya, confusion in his brown eyes as he said, "What the fuck?"
~Part: 37~
"Xander, just go away," Dawn said as she moved to stand behind Anya. She'd been watching Spike, and had figured out that it would be a good idea if Xander was somewhere far, far away.
"Dawn, what's going on?" Xander asked, flinching at the look in the teen's eyes as she stared at him. He could remember a time when she'd looked at him like Willow used to all those years ago, with complete admiration in her eyes. Now, her eyes were cold and annoyed. He squirmed slightly as he said, "I just want to see Willow."
"Go home," Spike said slowly as he moved into view. His voice was low, an underlying threat in his tone as he said, "I do not want you anywhere near my childe."
"What did you do to her?" Xander demanded, not liking the look in Spike's eyes one bit. He knew the bastard couldn't be trusted. "Why can't I see her?"
"You don't deserve to see her," was Spike's answer. He was thankful that he'd been able to turn Willow, knowing that his life would have been empty without his beautiful childe, but he hated this human for causing her pain and for being the reason that she had been laying alone bleeding to death before Dawn had found her.
"I don't deserve?" Xander glared at the vampire, reacting to his words without thinking, "Who are you to tell me what I do and don't deserve? You're nothing, Spike. A vampire that can't even feed himself. You probably only turned her so you wouldn't be alone. Poor wittle Spikey, has to turn a girl to get her to stay with you. I don't deserve to see her? What a laugh. *You* don't deserve to have Willow as a childe! "
"Enough," Spike said, his eyes flashing yellow as he moved towards the human, cringing from the pain in his head as he advanced on the man. He stopped walking as the pain increased, snarling, "Leave now."
"Or what?" Xander taunted with an amused smirk, "You'll threaten me? Oooh, I'm *so* scared of the pathetic vampire. I want to see Willow!"
"You're not going to see her," Dawn said, glaring at Xander for taunting Spike, "if you keep this up, you'll never see her again. Just go away before you go too far!"
"Quit lashing out at Spike because he saved Willow," Anya said softly, her eyes narrowed as she looked at Xander. "I can smell your guilt, Xander. You know that it's partially your fault she died. You know that she might have been saved if you'd gone inside to tell her about Buffy, if you'd done anything other than follow Buffy to the hospital without even calling home. It's not his fault that he was there for her when she needed him anymore than it's his fault that *you* weren't. She's a vampire, he's her sire. Taunting him is not the smart way to get permission to see her. You need to deal with your issues, get your head figured out, and take care of your little slayer before you try to start making judgments about Spike's motivation in saving Willow. You have no idea what happened, what it was like, or what you're talking about so just go home and leave us alone."
"I want to see her," Xander said quietly, his eyes looking at the floor as every one of Anya's arrows hit their mark. He hated that she knew him so well, hated that she was able to know what he was thinking and feeling when he, himself, wasn't too clear.
"No," she said as she watched him open his mouth to protest. Anya moved closer, until her mouth was near his ear, telling him, "Spike can't hurt you, Xander, but *I*can. If you ever try to hurt him, Willow, or Dawn, I'll show you torture that the world hasn't seen in years. I don't want you near them for now, not until you're ready to accept what has happened and you've dealt with it. The same goes for Buffy. She hurt Dawn this afternoon. I saw the bruise. If it happens again, she'll wish she'd died yesterday. I won't bother to ask if we understand each other because I can hear your heart racing. Don't test me on this, boy. You won't win."
"I," Xander's response trailed off when he saw the sincere look in Anya's eyes. He glanced at Dawn and saw the teen watching with curiosity, knew that she hadn't heard Anya's blatant threat. His eyes found Spike, saw the yellow eyes of the vampire staring at him with hatred as the blond seemed ready to hit something. He looked back at Anya, whispering, "I just wanted to see Willow."
"Not tonight," Anya said sharply, letting her demon come out as she said, "Go home, Xander."
"Tell her I stopped by," Xander muttered, wanting Willow to know that he'd tried to see her, backing away from Anya until he finally turned and went down the stairs towards his car. His mind was reeling from everything that had happened, and he decided to go home and get some sleep before going back to the hospital.
"Wow, that was cool," Dawn said, looking at Anya with respect and curiosity. She didn't know what the demon had told Xander, but she knew that it had had an impact on Xander. He'd seemed scared and lost and she'd almost, just almost, felt sorry for him. Then, she reminded herself that he'd not even called and told them about Buffy and she decided that he deserved it.
"He won't be back for a while," Anya decided as she turned towards Spike. She saw the tension in his body, the anger in his eyes, knew that he was barely in control at the moment, knew it wouldn't long until he gave in to his demon's need for action. She understood the demon all too well, glancing at Dawn then looking back at him.
"Take Niblet for some ice cream," Spike said slowly, his eyes flashing yellow as he looked towards the closed bedroom door.
"Isn't it too late for ice cream?" Dawn asked, oblivious to the struggle that Spike was having with his demon.
"Let's go, Brat," Anya said, taking the teen's hand before she could protest. She didn't want Dawn to see or hear what was likely going to happen once Spike let go, knowing that the girl would not understand.
Spike heard the door close, moving towards the bedroom. He could smell her, his beautiful, strong childe. He opened the door, looked into her eyes, saw her watching him with love and acceptance in those brilliant green eyes. He knew that she'd heard it all, heard him being taunted by that moron. She knew that he was helpless, knew that he wasn't able to protect her the way she deserved to be protected. His eyes flashed as he closed the door behind him, the anger at Xander's taunts consuming him as he made his way to the bed. She was one of Xander's best friends, memories of the two of them together flooding his mind. He'd been unable to hurt Xander tonight, helpless as the man had insulted and humiliated him, but he could hurt her, make her pay for her friend's stupidity. His hand moved to caress Willow's face as he remembered a specific image of her and Xander laughing over some silly joke. His eyes hardened as he raised his hand and swung, striking her with enough force to send her back against the mattress. She sat up and looked at him, waiting for his next move, her eyes alert as she watched him. He slowly smiled, enjoying the rush of power as he moved towards her.
~Part: 38~
Willow had heard everything that had been said in the other room. When she had first heard Xander's voice, she'd been struck with memories of him. Broken crayons, faded crushes, stolen kisses, laughter and pain. She remembered everything clearly, knew that he had been her best friend at one time. Everything had changed once Buffy had come to town. They'd grown up, grown apart. She couldn't remember the last time they'd sat together and had a conversation that didn't revolve around Buffy or Anya or some other aspect of his life. When she'd hurt Dawn, he'd been quick to judge her and declare that she was a danger to those around her. He'd never once tried to understand, never given any sign that he was the same boy that she had once loved. Sitting on the bed, she had listened to his voice and felt nothing. There was no need to see him, no desire to disobey Spike by entering the room to face her old friend.
As she had listened, the indifference had been replaced by anger. She began to understand what must have happened yesterday. She'd known Buffy had been shot, knew that Xander had gone to the hospital with the slayer. She'd not cared enough to think about that time before her rebirth until now. If she understood correctly, he had not even called to tell them about Buffy. She was used to his world being focused on the slayer, having lived with that for years, but she couldn't believe he'd not even thought about her or Dawn in his haste to be Buffy's hero. Could he have saved her? She frowned, not liking the idea of being saved. She loved Spike, would never want to imagine her life without him. Had Xander not reacted the way that he had, her entire life as she now knew it would not be happening. For once, she was thankful for Xander's Buffy obsession and his ability to forget everyone else. If it hadn't been for Xander, she'd never have found Spike.
She listened as the voices rose, her eyes flashing yellow as she got off the bed, walking towards the door. How dare he speak to her sire that way? Her hand touched the doorknob as she fought for control. She could feel her sire's anger, had no doubt that he wanted nothing more than to rip Xander's tongue out for the words that were spilling from it. She felt his pain as the implant reacted, tears forming in her eyes at the intensity as she leaned her head against the door. She wanted to go to her sire, to hold him and make sure he knew that Xander's words meant nothing. She wanted to hit Xander until he was unable to say another word, to hurt him as he had hurt Spike. With a growl, she turned from the door and walked towards the bed. She could not enter the living room, could not go to her sire when he most needed her, could not defend him from Xander's stupidity and inability to understand anything. She began to pace as she listened to Anya speaking, not paying attention to the demon's words, focused completely on the emotions that she was able to feel from her sire.
It wasn't long before she heard the door close, heard Dawn congratulating Anya on whatever it had been she had said. Willow stopped pacing, pushing her demon back as she looked at the door. Spike was still angry. Confusion flashed in her eyes as she listened to him order Anya to take Dawn for ice cream. With sudden clarity, she understood. She could feel his control slipping, his power and anger washing over her despite the distance between them. She sat on the bed, acceptance entering her eyes as she waited for him. She was his childe, his mate, and she would be there for him now when he needed her. She watched as the door opened, looking into his eyes and seeing the flash of insecurity, the flash of doubt, the flash of fear as he looked at her before his eyes hardened and became cold. She loved him, had loved him for so very long. She had memories of watching him, of studying him, of discovering the sides of Spike that he never showed the world. She knew that Xander had hurt him, had made him doubt her love, had reminded him how helpless he was due to that implant. She knew what was coming, a part of her excited at the idea of seeing her sire give in to his demon, just as part of her knew that he would be disgusted at his actions when it was all over. There was no stopping it, though, so she simply sat and waited for him.
He was so handsome, her beautiful sire. She could feel waves of strength and power rolling off of him as he slowly made his way towards her. This was how he should always be, she decided. Confident and strong and sexy and dangerous. Beneath the contempt and anger, she could see the love and devotion in his eyes. This wasn't about her. Her sire loved her, even if he hadn't said the words. He was angry with Xander, he felt as though he had been unable to protect her, he felt as if he didn't deserve her. She knew Spike, knew his insecurities and his weaknesses just as she knew his strengths and desires. He was hers just as she was his. Tonight, she would be there for him. And, when it was over, she would continue to be there for him. She would never leave him. He was her sire, her mate, her Spike. She felt his fingers on her cheek, loving the feel of his skin against hers. She looked into his eyes, watched as he gave in to his anger and his demon. She felt his hand strike her cheek, the force of the slap knocking her against the bed. Her eyes flashed as her demon came forward but she got it under control. Spike needed this, he needed to let go of his anger and realize that she was not going to leave him no matter what he did. She sat up and looked at him, waiting for his next move.
She felt his hand in her hair as he lifted her head, his eyes blazing into hers, seemingly daring her to still love him when he was being so cruel. Another slap, his hand keeping her from falling as she felt blood on her lip. Still, she looked at him, taking whatever he gave. He continued hitting her, taunting her at her lack of struggle, his blue eyes watching her intently as he took out his frustrations and anger. Despite the pain she was feeling, she also felt aroused. Her demon wanted to fight him, to push him to the ground and ride him until he was the one begging. Somehow, she knew that fighting him would not be the right decision to make at this time. He needed to remind her that he was her sire, that he was strong and deserving of her loyalty and devotion. She couldn't conceal her arousal, knowing that he smelled it mixed with their combined scents and the smell of blood. She wanted him, knew that he wanted her. She moaned when she felt his hands on her body, roughly turning her over onto her stomach. She heard his zipper being lowered, crying out his name as he entered her fully, his hand tangling in her hair as he fucked her hard and fast. He had stopped speaking, focusing his attention on fucking her as hard as he could. She met his thrusts, her tongue licking at the blood that coated her lips. She felt him pull out of her, her eyes widening when she felt the tip of his cock against her ass. She'd never had anyone there, a slight rush of fear and desire going through her as he forced his hardness into her tight opening. Her head snapped back as she screamed at the pain, her back arching as he sunk his entire length into her virgin hole.
She felt his teeth pierce her neck as he began to move inside her, his hands grabbing her hips in a rough hold as he thrust into her ass. The pain was soon forgotten as the pleasure began to build. She loved the feeling of her sire feeding from her, enjoyed sharing the intimate act with her lover. Willow was pushing back against him, her hand moving between her legs as she began to rub her clit. She came within moments of touching herself, squeezing him even more. She heard him growl as he pulled out of her ass, covering her back with his seed, his mouth still on her neck as he fed. She fell forward on the bed, her knees unable to hold their combined weight as he laid fully on top of her back, his spent cock resting between her ass cheeks. She was weak and hungry, her face hurt as did her stomach and sides. She wasn't at full strength yet or she figured she wouldn't hurt so badly. As it was, she was starting to feel his attack on her. She'd been brave for him, taking everything he'd given, but now she just felt tired. She hoped he was nearly finished, not sure if she could handle much more.
She felt him pull his mouth away, knew his eyes were on her. She turned her head to look at him, unaware of the broken lip and the large bruises that were starting to form on her face. She looked into his eyes, her love for him still evident in her green eyes. She watched as he backed away from her, a haunted look entering his beautiful blue eyes as he looked at her. She frowned, not understanding what was wrong. She gathered what little strength she still had to sit up, her voice soft as she said, "Sire? Spike?"
Spike flinched when he heard her voice so full of love and worry, for him. What had he done? He couldn't look at her, couldn't see the blood and bruises that he had caused. He was her sire, he was supposed to protect her. He wasn't supposed to beat her and fuck her like she was his pet. She was his childe, his mate, not some animal. He'd promised himself that he would never be like Angelus, that he would be a great sire and that he'd never intentionally hurt his childe. He looked at her, saw the look in her eyes, knew that she still loved him despite everything. Xander had been right. He didn't deserve a childe like Willow. He was a monster. He'd let his demon have control and he'd hurt her. He'd vowed never to hurt her. How could she love him? He felt the wall behind his back, unable to look away from her eyes as he slid down the wall to a sitting position. He was nothing, and she was everything. He couldn't take it back, couldn't change what he had done, couldn't ignore the fact that, less than forty-eight hours after her turning, he'd broken most of his promises. She would hate him and resent him and leave him. He closed his eyes, wanting to block out the image of what he had done to his beautiful childe.
Willow watched him, hating the look of self-disgust that had flashed in his eyes. Why could he not understand that she did not blame him? Why could he not understand that she loved every part of him? She was a demon, too. She understood him, knew that this had not been about them, knew that it had been Xander in his mind that he had been hurting. If she could accept that, why couldn't he accept that she loved him? She got to her feet, walking towards him. He was scared that she would leave him after seeing this part of him, blaming himself for actions that could not be controlled. She kneeled beside him, her arms moving around him as she hugged him tightly, giving him comfort and understanding, feeling him move to hold her tightly, clinging to her as he buried his head against her neck. She moved her hand over his back in a soothing gesture as he finally let it all go. "I love you, Spike," she whispered softly, feeling his arms tighten their hold as he pulled his head back and looked into her eyes. She was surprised to see unshed tears, moving her hand to cup his cheek as she told him again, "I love you."
She saw the moment that he realized that she wasn't leaving him, that she did love him, that she forgave him. His eyes darkened before a tear slid down his cheek and then he was hugging her again, his head resting on her shoulder as she held him. Willow knew that he finally understood that he wasn't going to lose her, that he realized that it wasn't merely words that she thought he wanted to hear. She was his. She wanted him to be happy, to not feel threatened and insecure ever again. She wanted him to feel loved and to know that he would never again be alone, to realize that he did deserve her just as she deserved him. She wanted him to leave the past in the past as she was doing, to focus on the present and to look forward to their future. She wanted him to be complete, to know that he was powerful and strong and feared. She wanted him to say the words that his eyes told her he felt, wanted to hear him whisper them to her as he held her, wanted to feel him inside her as he repeated them over and over again. Tonight, he had stopped running from his doubts and insecurities. Tonight, he had embraced her and accepted her love and devotion without fear of losing her.
She felt him move, his eyes on her face as he lifted her gently from the floor and carried her to the bed. He laid her down carefully, his eyes guilty as he looked at the bruises on her body. She watched him lay next to her, his lips brushing against the large bruise on her right side. He then moved to kiss another bruise, his eyes catching hers each time. He could not say the words, but she knew. He was sorry, he hadn't meant to hurt her, he loved her, he was hers. When every bruise and bite and mark had been kissed, he offered his neck for her to feed. She accepted without hesitation, her hunger causing her to bite down hard. She felt his blood flowing into her mouth, her eyes closing as she drank. When she had had enough, she pulled away from his neck, snuggling against his body as she felt herself begin to heal. His arms went around her as he held her, Willow's eyes closing as she felt herself getting sleepy. Suddenly, her eyes opened. She had an idea. She was too tired to think about it right now, but it was a place to start. Tomorrow, she'd think about it some more. A pleased smile crossed her face before she closed her eyes again, falling to sleep shortly thereafter.
~Part: 39~
"I told you that it was too late for ice cream," Dawn muttered as they pulled into the parking lot of the closed ice cream parlor.
"Did you want ice cream?" Anya asked, bringing herself out of her thoughts to look at the quiet teen. They'd left her apartment about fifteen minutes before, neither saying anything during the entire drive across town to the closed ice cream store.
"No," Dawn shook her head, "I want to know why we left? What happened? I mean, one minute you're telling Xander off and he's leaving and the next Spike is scary quiet and we're leaving. I missed something, but I don't know what."
"How about coffee?" Anya asked, knowing that the Espresso Pump was open until midnight on weekends. That would give them over an hour to sit and wait before they returned home. She wanted to make sure that Spike had enough time to deal with his issues, slightly afraid for Willow but having faith that her friend would understand what was happening. She didn't want to see Willow hurt, knowing the redhead had been through enough the past day and a half. Spike needed to get over his insecurities and realize what a lucky vampire he was and make Willow happy.
"Anya, what happened?" Dawn asked, moving so that she was facing the demon.
"We'll go get coffee. They have hot chocolate that you like and it will make you feel better," Anya decided, moving the car back onto the street as she drove towards the coffee shop. She knew she was going to have to answer Dawn's question, but she had no idea what exactly to say. She could explain about turning, about souls, about demons, but she didn't know how to put what was happening with Spike and Willow into words that would make any sense. She honestly didn't know if she even understood what was happening so how was she supposed to explain it all to a fifteen-year old girl?
"Spike was mad about what Xander said, wasn't he?" Dawn said slowly, having been thinking since they'd let the apartment about what had happened, trying to understand. "That's why he wanted us to leave, because he was angry. I saw his eyes turn yellow and his face changed. He doesn't usually vamp out in front of me so I know he must have been pretty upset."
"He was losing control of his demon, Brat," Anya said as she pulled into the parking lot of the Espresso Pump. She turned off the car, deciding it would be better to discuss what was probably happening in the car before they went inside the public place. She turned towards Dawn and tried to explain, "Xander said some things that made Spike angry. While we know that Xander is a moron and that everything he said was stupid, Spike is in a position at the moment where he listened to the words and accepted them as a possibility."
"Because of the implant, right?" Dawn asked, knowing that Spike had seemed to become even more silent when he'd been unable to fight Xander because of the chip. That was when he'd gotten kind of scary, his eyes turning yellow and making her remember that he was a vampire that had a reputation for being ruthless and cunning and evil at the same time he was her friend who was smart and charming and sarcastic and sexy. She trusted Spike, knew that he'd never hurt her, but in those few seconds before he'd looked away from the door, she'd seen what many of his enemies had probably seen and it had scared her.
"The implant makes him feel helpless in so many ways, Brat," Anya said softly, needing to make sure that the girl understood what they might find when they got home. She knew Dawn had a crush on Spike, looked up to him as some sort of hero, and she really didn't like the idea of the girl being hurt when she was reminded that he was a demon and had faults like everyone. "Tonight, he was unable to protect his childe. He is very complex. I don't even begin to understand what he thinks and feels, but I could see flashes of insecurity in his eyes when Xander spoke. A part of him believes what Xander said, thinks that he doesn't deserve Willow because of the implant and his inability to protect her and keep her safe, thinks that he disgusts her and that she'll leave him. While I've known Willow long enough to know that she probably was half in love with him even while alive and that she loves him now in a way that goes beyond the sire and childe bond, he's too hung up on the past and the powerlessness he feels at the moment to accept anything except the rage and anger that his demon is feeling."
"What happened when we left?" Dawn asked, a part of her suspecting the answer, but needing to hear it spoken out loud so she could figure out what she thought about it.
"I don't know," Anya shrugged, running a hand through her hair, "he probably took out his anger at Xander and his own insecurities on Willow. He was letting his demon have control….I don't really know what he is doing."
"Do you think…" Dawn trailed off, finally saying, "do you think he hurt her?"
"Hurt is in the eye of the beholder," Anya said, "Willow is his childe and she loves him. I think the only way he would have truly hurt her would have been if he hadn't come to her tonight. I expect to find her bruised and bloody, Dawn, so prepare for that. He was angry and hurt and I'm sure that he lashed out physically. That's just part of having a demon."
"I hope he's okay when we get home," Dawn whispered, deciding that she'd never be able to understand what was happening. She was still trying to understand how Willow could have a demon and no soul but still be so much like the living Willow. She wasn't ready to try to understand this. Besides, Anya didn't even seem to know what exactly was happening either. She just wanted Spike and Willow to be happy.
"He'll be better, I'm sure," Anya said, "We'll just make sure to stay gone a pretty long time. I don't want to go back too early. I hope he realizes soon that he's not going to lose Willow and that she really does love him. That will help him a lot, I think."
"Yeah. To be so smart, he can be pretty dumb, can't he?" Dawn said with a sigh.
"Yep, he's rather oblivious," Anya agreed.
Dawn nodded, moving her thoughts from what was maybe happening at the apartment to other topics. She looked at Anya and smiled slightly as she asked, "Did you mention hot chocolate? I could use some comfort food at the moment."
"We can even buy a dessert to go with it," Anya decided, glad to see that Dawn seemed to have gotten enough answers to stop asking questions about things she couldn't explain well. She much preferred questions she could answer.
"Yum! More chocolate," Dawn's smile grew larger as she got out of the car and followed her friend into the coffee shop, trying not to dwell on what they would find when they returned home.
~Part: 40~
Anya had threatened him.
And she'd meant it.
Xander could easily bring to mind the sincere look in his former fiance's eyes as she had whispered her threat, giving him no doubt that she would torture him in ways that he couldn't even imagine if he crossed her. What startled him the most regarding her threat was that it hadn't been the demon, it had been Anya. He would have been able to understand a threat coming from a demon, but, hearing the words of promised torture coming from lips that he'd kissed and that had told him she loved him, well, it was more frightening and real than he'd ever thought possible. It had scared him enough that he'd left her apartment without seeing Willow, the only reason he'd gone there in the first place. He'd left without getting Dawn, something he'd planned on doing after seeing Willow. He hadn't thought it would be a good idea for the teenager to be in an apartment with two vampires and a demon, but that had been before he'd looked into her eyes. She'd changed. He knew it was stupid to think that someone could change overnight so he guessed that the changes had been happening all along and he'd just never seen them until now.
She used to look at him in a way that was reminiscent of Willow so many years ago. Now, she looked at him as if he wasn't important. He thought it would have been easier to accept if she'd even looked at him with hate or disgust, but the way she'd dismissed him so easily, well, it hurt. Xander pulled into the parking lot of his apartment building, deciding that he'd take a shower and change his clothes before heading back to the hospital. Buffy had been asleep when he'd left and he hoped she still was when he returned. He wasn't looking forward to telling her about his visit at Anya's, knowing that he'd really accomplished nothing in the end. He hadn't seen Willow, had realized that Dawn was not the same silly teenager he remembered having a crush on him, had been threatened by the woman he'd almost married and he hadn't even enjoyed taunting Spike. He entered his apartment, noticing the light flashing on his answering machine.
He hit rewind and play, listening as he heard Dawn's voice on the tape. He ran a hand over his face as he heard the soft and tired voice, realizing that she'd known about Buffy during this call, that she'd had to deal with finding Tara dead and Willow dying. He stopped the recording, guilt flashing in his eyes as he went into his bedroom. He grabbed a clean set of clothes and went into the bathroom. He showered quickly, doing his best not to think about anything except getting clean. When he was dressed, he went into the kitchen and grabbed a soda and some chips to take with him. He was hungry, hospital food not something he could call enjoyable. He locked the apartment and went back to his car, closing his eyes and taking a deep breath, letting it out slowly. When he opened his eyes, he knew what he needed to do. He pulled onto the road, turning left instead of right which would have taken him back to the hospital. He drove down familiar streets until he pulled into the driveway of the Summers' home.
Xander got out of the car, using his key to enter. He figured he'd get Buffy some clean clothes since the ones she had been wearing had been ripped during surgery and were covered in blood from the gunshot. He also had to see everything for himself. He walked upstairs, too easily imagining Dawn's arrival the previous day from school. He walked past Buffy's room, moving to stand in the doorway of Willow's room. He turned on the light, flinching when he saw all the blood. He slowly moved into the room, his dark eyes moving over the puddle of blood that was a couple of feet away from the bed. Tara had died there, he realized. He moved to lean against the wall, needing support as he thought of the blonde witch and realized that she was dead. He'd never been a huge Tara fan honestly, but she'd been nice enough and she loved Willow so that had been good enough in his eyes. Now, she was dead. Killed by a stray bullet that had been meant for Buffy. Xander's eyes moved along the floor to the other blood stain. This one wasn't as dark, but it was larger. He looked away, finding it too easy to think about Willow laying there, slowly dying as he'd gone to the hospital with Buffy.
Unfortunately, his eyes moved to the bed and he was confronted with the sight of bloody sheets, an impression still in the pillow where he figured Willow's head had been laid as she was turned. So much blood. He felt his stomach start to roll as he inhaled the scent of blood and death, finding the room suffocating as he struggled to breathe. He didn't leave, though. He had to do this. He had to see it through Dawn's eyes, to understand why she had done what she had done, and to punish himself for not being there for his best friend when she needed him the most. He'd realized sometime over the last few hours, since hearing Dawn at the hospital, since seeing Anya at the apartment, since hearing that answering machine message, even since hearing Spike….he was partially to blame for what had happened. He'd chosen to go with Buffy, not giving a single thought to telling Willow what had happened, not thinking about anything except the fact that one of his best friends, the woman he'd dreamed about and loved for years, was dying. He might not have pulled the trigger on the gun, but he was just as guilty as that bastard Warren of killing his best friend in the whole world, of killing Willow. The girl that had loved him when they had been teenagers, the girl with the pink bows and cute smile, the girl that had made him feel as if he was the most important person in the world, the girl that had been there for him without hesitation since he was six.
When she'd needed him the most, he'd been pacing the hallway of the hospital waiting to hear that Buffy's surgery had been successful. He'd not even stopped to call and let anyone know what had happened, not thought about anything except Buffy. Because of that, he'd lost one of the most important things in his life. He'd lost Willow. Xander moved away from the wall, walking towards the bloody bed. Dawn said she'd called Spike, had asked the vampire to turn the redhead, had no intention of giving Willow a soul, that Willow was happy and okay with being undead. When Xander had been too busy caring about Buffy, Spike had saved Willow. Oh, Xander knew that being a vampire wasn't the same as being alive, but it wasn't the forever and ever kind of dead that meant that Willow would never wake up. Xander wiped away his tears with the back of his hand as he sat on the edge of the bed. He picked up the photo from the bedside table, a fleeting smile crossing his face as he looked at the picture that also sat on his bedside table. Him, Willow, and Buffy taken a few months after they'd all become friends. They'd been happy, smiling and laughing for the camera. If Dawn hadn't done what she'd done, if Spike hadn't been willing to turn Willow, no one would have ever heard Willow laugh again, they'd have not seen her beautiful smile. Because of Spike, the redhead was not dead. She was happy, according to Dawn. She was laughing and smiling and just happened to be a vampire. Xander had lost her from his life, but the world hadn't lost her. He finally understood, finally accepted what had happened, knew what Dawn had been trying to make them understand earlier that afternoon. Willow might be dead, but she wasn't gone. His grip tightened on the picture before he picked up the phone and dialed a number he'd only called a couple of times. He was rather relieved to hear the answering machine pick up. He knew he wouldn't have been able to talk to Willow, had no desire to talk to any of the others, wasn't sure if he deserved to talk to Willow. When he heard the beep, he began to talk as fast as possible, needing to say everything that he was thinking, not caring if it made any sense, not caring who heard his message, just hoping that Willow heard it.
"Hey, Willow, it's Xan. They wouldn't let me see you, but I hope they'll let you hear this. I'm sorry. God, I'm so sorry. It's my fault. I should have gone inside but I wasn't thinking and now you're dead. I promised I'd never let anything happen to you and I wasn't there when you needed me. I'm glad that Spike was there for you even though nothing is ever going to be the same again….I guess it really hasn't been the same in years….Dawn said you're happy and that you are doing well…. I'm so glad that Spike turned you….I can't imagine a world without my Wills. If you ever need anything, I'm always here for you. I don't care if you're a vampire or if you don't have a soul, I love you. Forever and always, just like we promised when we were kids….."
Xander heard the beep and realized that the machine had cut off. He put the phone down, hoping that Willow knew that he did love her. Tears were flowing down his cheeks and he was completely unaware that he'd been crying as he'd spoken, and that his voice had faltered several times during the few minutes he'd confessed his guilty feelings and affection for his best friend to an answering machine. He dropped the phone and moved to lay on the edge of the bed that was not coated with blood. He pulled the pillow towards him, resting his head in the spot where Willow's head had been during her death and rebirth. He hugged the picture against his chest as he closed his eyes, tears still falling down his cheeks as a soft smile crossed his face as he laid on her bed and got lost in memories of Willow.