He had to admit that he had been blind. There was no other reason why he had ignored her for so long. It had taken that insistent voice last week to open his eyes. That damn voice still pestered him whenever he was close to her. Always noted her smell.....her lips....her eyes...he loved her eyes. They reminded him of this kitten he had seen once in an alley in London. It had been a calico, starving to death. It had been so long ago....before he was turned. He had eaten at this little pub and had gone to rest in the alley before walking back to his place. The kitten had appeared before him. Spike had looked into that kitten's pitiful stare and had felt something. He had given his leftovers to the cat. When it had gone forward to eat, its stare had been bright and loving. He had sat and watched that damn cat for over an hour. Loving the look of gratitude and love that it gave him. He had known that after he left, the cat would starve for food and attention. He had reached down and stoked its fur once last time. Then, he had twisted its neck. He couldn't live knowing that it would die. Seeing Willow's eyes, he was reminded of that cat. She was hungering for attention and love. He had decided that he wanted to be the one to make her eyes light up. Of course, he had no plans of breaking her neck. No need. He was, after all, a vampire. He had no worries of leaving her alone with a lack of attention and love.
Fate listened into the vampire's thoughts. He had to fight a cringe at what he was thinking. That poor kitten. But, in a way, it showed him that Spike would be good for Willow. He'd take care of her and never let her be hurt.
"Hmmm....might need to work on that a bit. Make
him understand that she isn't a defenseless kitten that needs taken care
of....his mind fascinates me. So many hidden thoughts....could have done
without that visual of the cat though. This boy has some major intimacy
issues.....I think Willow will be able to help him through them..."