ULTERIOR MOTIVES
 

Spike took a deep drag from the Marlboro, his blue eyes watching the shadows
through the filmy curtain. He leaned against the tree in the slayer's front
yard, finding a comfortable piece of bark and resting his head against it. He
had been watching Buffy for the past few weeks. Seeing her with that moron
she called a boyfriend. Watching her help her Mother. Simply watching her.
She was a mystery, she was. When he had first started walking past her house
at night, he'd thought he must be going insane. He'd seriously decided the
chip must have malfunctioned or something. Now, though, he understood. It had
been nearly three weeks ago when it had all finally started to make sense.
One clarifying dream and his vision was no longer clouded. He was no longer
living in denial. He knew exactly what he was doing and why and it felt damn
great.
 

He saw the curtain move slightly and a flash of red hair before it fell back
into place. His little witch was staying over with the slayer. He'd stood
outside, listening to bubbly laughter and giggling mixed with music and the
constant chattering of two old friends. Never before had he felt more left
out. His eyes narrowed slightly, not liking that feeling. He didn't want to
be a part of them, but it hurt in ways he'd never imagined to be faced with
the knowledge constantly that he wasn't a part of them. He tossed the
remainder of his cigarette to the ground, it joining the ever growing pile of
other discarded butts from the weeks of watching. He moved from the tree,
going to sit under the balcony. Soon, he was rewarded when the doors opened.
 

"I think he's gone," Willow said quietly, glancing inside at her best friend.
 

"Good," Buffy said, making a face. "It's starting to give me the wiggins, you
know? Him always out there watching me. Just weird."
 

"Weird?" Willow sighed, moving outside and taking a deep breath of air. She
wished she had something that weird happening to her. Someone that cared
enough to follow her and make sure she was always all right. As it was, her
lover was doing who knew what behind her back. "I think it's kind of sweet."
 

"Sweet?" Buffy laughed, looking at her friend like she was crazy. "Wills,
this is Spike. I can't stand him and he hates me. It isn't sweet that he's
always watching me now. It's just weird. I don't really know how to handle
it. I mean, so far Riley hasn't noticed this sudden attention, but he's gonna
soon enough. What am I supposed to do then?"
 

"Why do you think Spike's watching you? Do you feel threatened?" Willow
asked, her attention on the tops of the trees that were gently blowing in the
wind.
 

"From Spike?" Buffy laughed again. "Not likely. I mean, even without the
implant, I was kicking his ass. Now, with it, well, I don't really see him
able to kill me. Besides, the way he's acting, I don't think killing me is on
his mind, if you know what I mean."
 

"Yeah, I do," Willow said softly, knowing that Buffy was only speaking the
truth. Spike was in love with the slayer. Despite all his heated words with
the blonde, the constant threats and promises of death, he'd fallen for
Buffy. Willow could understand it. After all, most men that knew Buffy seemed
to want her. And Spike was definitely a man. It didn't surprise her in the
least that he wanted Buffy. It did rather surprise her though that he
actually seemed to care about the slayer. Watching her, following her,
helping the gang out even without being forced. Those were signs of something
far deeper than lust. And Buffy seemed to have no clue what she was ignoring
there.
 

"He wants me," Buffy shrugged. "I don't get it, but he does. The other day he
came up to me on patrol and helped out a bit. I seriously thought he was
going to try to kiss me."
 

"What would you have done?" Willow asked.
 

"Kicked his ass," Buffy said without hesitation. "I love Riley. Even if I
didn't, well, this is Spike. I mean, yuck. He's so totally not my type. I
doubt I could even be friends with him much less do anything else. He's a
vampire and a killer. The implant doesn't change that even if does make him a
defenseless little vampy."
 

"I wouldn't really call Spike defenseless," Willow said, glancing at Buffy.
"He is a pretty old vampire, you know?"
 

"Old, schmold," Buffy said. "I kicked his ass more times than I could count.
He's all talk, no follow through. Guess those years of being Dru's lapdog
ruined him. Either way, he's definitely not a threat. I kind of feel sorry
for him, actually. Skulking around wanting me, having to feed from bags. It
must be tough. I just wish he'd get over this stupid crush before Riley
catches him and kicks his ass."
 

"Spike's not that bad," Willow said, remembering the slight crush she had
started to get on the blonde after he had kidnapped her and Xander. Then, it
had come back when he had tried to kill her. Hearing him remember what she
had been wearing that day, looking into his eyes and seeing something that
she couldn't quite understand, well, she had fallen again. But, she had Tara
now. She didn't want Spike. Wasn't really sure if she had ever really wanted
him or it was just the aura of danger and sex that surrounded him that
intrigued her. Didn't really matter now. He wanted Buffy, just like all the
boys she knew did. Even if she wasn't with Tara, he'd never look at her the
way he watched Buffy now.
 

"If you like pathetic neutered vampires," Buffy said with a grimace.
 

"Buffy, that's mean!" Willow said, glaring at her friend. "He's helped us
quite a bit the last few months. And it didn't take threats or you forcing
him into it. I'd say you should remember that he saved us before being so
rude. So, he has a crush. Xander had a crush on you and got over it. I'm sure
Spike will too."
 

Buffy's eyes narrowed as she studied Willow, "Quite the little defender of
him, aren't you?"
 

"I'm not defending anyone," Willow said with a sigh. "I'm just tired of
hearing you diss him for caring. If someone cares, they should be rewarded.
They shouldn't be ignored or lied to or treated like they're weird."
 

Buffy's face softened when she realized that Willow wasn't speaking about
Spike anymore. She moved towards her friend, taking her hand and asking,
"Honey, what's wrong? Did you and Tara have a fight?"
 

Willow shook her head, "You'd have to talk to have a fight."
 

"Uh oh, like that is it?" Buffy asked, sighing. Willow was the best person
she had ever met but the redhead had the worst luck with love. She knew she
should support the redhead's decision to be with Tara, and she honestly
didn't mind that Willow was gay. It didn't change who Willow was, not really.
But, Buffy still couldn't help but feel that Willow was trying too hard to be
someone she wasn't. She knew that Tara had been there when the rest of them
hadn't. She couldn't get rid of the nagging feeling that Willow's sudden
realization that she was bi-sexual wasn't because of a deep love for Tara,
but because the other girl had been there when she needed someone. Of course,
she wasn't about to suggest her theory to Willow. If Willow liked being with
girls, it wasn't her place to judge. She just didn't think that Tara was what
Willow truly needed in her life. Was she a bad friend for sitting back and
letting Willow make a bad decision? She didn't think so. Again, it wasn't her
place to tell Willow who to love. And she hoped that she was wrong. That Tara
did turn out to be what Willow needed. She just wasn't seeing it yet.
 

"She's been pushing me away for weeks," Willow said with a frown.
 

"Do you think she's still upset over her family?" Buffy suggested.
 

"I don't really think that's it," Willow said. "I mean, we were fine the day
after that. She's just, I don't know. It just hurts, you know?"
 

"Yeah," Buffy said softly, thinking of her love for Angel and how not being
with him had hurt. "It's tough, but it's worth it."
 

"Is it?" Willow had to ask what had been nagging at her mind for days. "How
do I know that? I thought it was worth it for Oz and look what that got me. I
don't think I can deal with that again. I don't think she's being honest with
me. Something is going on with her and she doesn't trust me enough to tell me
the truth. What does that say for our relationship? I trusted her with your
true identity. I've brought her on patrols and been completely honest. Yet,
she's lying to me now. I know she is. She's looking me right in the eyes and
telling me what I want to hear. How can I love her if she's doing that?"
 

"Do you?" Buffy asked. "Love her I mean."
 

Willow nodded, "Yeah, I mean, she's great. She listens to me. She's always
there for me. She's nice and smart and pretty. And we get along. I don't
worry when I'm with her. I feel...I don't know, it just works. But, I can't
be with a liar. I've been there, done that. Last night, I tried to get her to
be honest. I mean, I was prepared for whatever she planned to tell me. She
didn't. I don't know anymore. It's just too tough. Maybe I should be single
for awhile."
 

"If you care about her, give her a chance," Buffy said. "Maybe you're just
overreacting and there really isn't anything going on. You do tend to
overthink things."
 

"Yeah, I'm sure you're right," Willow smiled. "So, you ready to watch another
movie?"
 

Buffy nodded, "Uh huh. All this serious talk has started to put a damper on
my fun filled evening. I need some music and romance."
 

"That sounds good," Willow followed her friend back inside, moving to sit
down and make herself comfortable as she pushed all her doubts about Tara out
of her mind.
 

Spike moved from under the balcony, his eyes thoughtful as he added one last
butt to the pile. He glanced back up to the room, hearing the opening strains
of yet another movie. He smiled slightly before walking away. He had an
appointment with a witch that he certainly didn't want to miss. He'd go back
by afterwards, just to make sure everything was still all right.

Part 4

Tara stood awkwardly beside the headstone, jumping slightly every time she
heard a noise. She wasn't fond of cemetaries in the first place, but
especially not of one after midnight. She glanced at her watch, frowning when
she saw that he was late. They had agreed to meet at 12:30 and it was nearing
one. Maybe he had forgotten. Somehow, she doubted that. He was probably late
on purpose, wanting her to have to wait for him. She held her book tighter
against her chest, hoping that she would not run across any vampires.
 

"Good, you're still here," Spike said as he moved towards the witch.
 

"You're late," she said tightly, glaring at him before her eyes widened and
she realized what she had done.
 

"Am I?" he simply said, cocking his head to the side and studying her.
"C'mon."
 

She followed him through the headstones towards his own crypt. When she
walked inside, she let out a sigh of relief. Even the crypt was better than
being out there in the open. All she'd needed was a sign that proclaimed her
as vampire food and she'd have felt perfect. She glanced around, finally
moving to settle herself onto the old sofa. She looked up at him and found
his cold blue eyes watching her. "Um, you can sit down."
 

"I prefer standing," he said with a snarl. "Why did you want to meet?"
 

She glanced down, taken aback at his attitude. She'd have thought he'd be
thrilled to hear from her. "I think I found something."
 

"And?"
 

She looked up, frowning, "And what? I found a spell that should destroy the
implant. Isn't that what you wanted?"
 

"Was it?" he asked in a lazy tone, his eyes still cold.
 

"Fine, I'll leave if you changed your mind," she said bravely, her words
betraying her fear.
 

"Sit," he barked out, moving to sit in a chair opposite her. "I told you that
I wasn't in much of a hurry. Didn't take you very long."
 

"I got lucky," she said honestly. "I found some old books at the magic store
and the third one I looked through had something that I think will work. It's
a bit vague, but my translation shows that it should deactivate the implant.
Sort of make it null and void."
 

"I've been trying to get rid of it for over a year and in less than two weeks
you've found the way?" he said, laughing sharply. "Just my luck."
 

"Like I said, I got lucky," she repeated. "There is a list of supplies that
I'd need to get, but I could pick them up tomorrow. It doesn't sound like it
is going to be that difficult of a spell so it shouldn't take that long."
 

"Quite the eager little beaver, aren't you?" he said, raising an eyebrow.
"So, what you're saying is that by this time tomorrow night, I could be
myself again?"
 

She nodded, "Yes. The implant would remain in your head, but it wouldn't
work. If you'd like, I could probably find an easy enough spell to even
remove the metal after the power has been taken from it. That would take me
another day or two though. I could always do that after we deactivate the
chip."
 

His lips twitched slightly and he said, "You're beginning to babble like my
Red."
 

"Oh, sorry," Tara stuttered, having not realized she was babbling. She failed
to hear the rather possessive way he spoke of Willow, too embarrassed at
having been babbling to pay particular attention to the remainder of his
sentence.
 

Spike nodded suddenly, "I don't want the hunk of tin left in me head. Find
something to remove it, then we'll talk again. I can wait a wee bit longer to
remove the chip. Besides, my plans have altered themselves slightly the past
few weeks. I no longer intend to leave Sunnydale immediately after the chip
is gone."
 

"You...you aren't going to hurt Willow?" Tara asked, having not known the
blonde intended to leave Sunnydale at all and finding herself slightly
curious as to why his plans had been altered.
 

"I said I wouldn't," he said sharply, giving her a look. "Do you not trust
me?"
 

"Th..th..that isn't it," she said, feeling scared at his obvious anger, "I
just wasn't sure."
 

He shrugged, "Whatever. We will do both spells at the same time. When you
find the other, get in touch with me."
 

"OK," she said, getting to her feet. "I'll buy the supplies we need for the
deactivation spell so we're ready as soon as I find the other one I need to
find."
 

"Leave now," he said, watching her practically run from the crypt. He sat
back, a slow smile crossing his face as he grew thoughtful. Things were going
far better than he had planned for once. Getting to his feet, he headed
towards the door. He would go back to the slayer's, watch until the lights
went out then he'd go get a drink he decided. Humming to himself, he headed
into the shadows.

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