Author: Manda, the Evil Dead Grrl
Email: EvilDead_DemonGirl@yahoo.com
Disclaimer: All things Buffy and Angel belong to Joss Whedon, Fox, Mutant Enemy and a band of lawyers. I own the plot and anything you don't recognize from the Buffyverse.
Rating: R
Synopsis: A small interlude in which Isabel and Angel have their first heart to heart about their new relationship.
Distribution: Soulmates till the End of Time, Angel's Soulmates, Mistress Vamp's Moonlight Lounge--anyone else, if you like it, lemme know and I'll let you have it.
Pairing: Angel/Isabel, Willow/Spike
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"Angel?"
The vampire stepped away from the edge of the roof and turned at the sound of his name, seeing Isabel walking toward him wearing nothing but one of his silk shirts. "I thought you were asleep, love."
"I was," she told him softly. Her all-seeing violet eyes searched his and saw much confusion. She could feel it, too. It flowed from his body in waves, surrounding him, engulfing him. "For some reason I couldn't stay that way without you there next to me. Want to tell me what's wrong?"
He smiled at her wryly and took one of her hands in his. "If I said nothing, would you leave it at that?" Isabel cocked an eyebrow at him. "And what do you think?" He chuckled then, a dark sound that disturbed the little demon. "Of course not," he replied. "After all, what bothers me bothers you."
Once the gang had returned to the AI offices after being released by the police, they had showed Isabel the prophecy in the Codex. Once again, she had taken life-altering news with grace and a grin. "I guess I was right, Angel," she'd told him. "Those PTB sent you to me for a reason." And that was all she had said about it. Soon after, Wes and Cordelia had gone home after many hugs and promises to meet them at St. Theresa's the next morning for the memorial service. But before they could leave, Spike couldn't help but bring up their earlier telephone conversation.
"Oh, and Cordelia? What part of 'Meet me and Peaches at the office' was so hard to understand?" the blonde asked with a smirk. With true Queen C style, the seer looked down her nose at him and narrowed her eyes. "Please, Spike," she witheringly informed him. "Like there was any way in hell we were going to let you and Angel be the only ones there for Isabel. I know, I know--grave danger and all of that, but we're family, remember? Even though to two of you bloodsuckers were ready to go postal on Simon and be all demony and grr, it didn't mean were weren't going to be there to support you. The next time you want to protect us from a bit of blood and gore and your demonic testosterone levels for our own sakes, think again, because we won't stay away. Believe it or not, we accept you as you are. Fangs and all."
"Exactly," Wesley agreed as he gazed at Cordelia and pride and nodded. "What she said." Willow had smirked at the blonde vampire knowingly. "Had you been there when we decided to ignore you, you would've seen the resolve face. There was no way in hell we were about to let you two face this alone. And besides, we might have been needed to keep Isabel from kicking Angel's overprotective ass during their 'discussion' about Simon."
It was that remark that bothered the dark vampire. He had been incredibly touched at his human comrades' sentiments, was even grateful for them, but it had reminded him of his earlier savage anger. It was an anger that he'd wished Isabel shared with him, but apparently she hadn't.
Perhaps he had been reading too much into their connection, but the vampire could've sworn that Isabel wasn't like the other Divinitus. In his many years, he'd met some of the elusive demons before their demise. Angel knew firsthand how forgiving they were and how pacifistic. Even so, Angel never would he have imagined that Isabel would let Simon live after all he'd done. But she did. The Divine demon hadn't even verbally assaulted him when she had the chance. She merely looked on him with quiet dignity while Simon spewed insult after insult, promising that he'd have his revenge.
'I guess I thought that she would understand. I know she'll never try to change me in any way, but I suppose I was hoping that we both had some of that darkness that separated me from the rest, but she's come into her power now. Isabel is a fully vested member of the Divine Ones. Of course it's not in her to want revenge. But why the hell am I even thinking this in the first place? I have an exquisite woman before me, one that loves me for what I am and I want more of her. I am *so* fucked in the head.'
"Angel, please talk to me."
Isabel's soft plea brought him back to the present and out of his thoughts. "I'm very sorry, love," he apologized. "Certain events keep running through my head and won't stop."
"Tell me about it. A lot happened, Angel," she told him. "I was dead. And then I wasn't. Some super foxy vampire made me drink his blood and by some miracle that symbol of his life brought me back to him. So, yeah, I think we're allowed to be kinda distracted."
With a forced sigh, the vampire turned away from her and took his earlier position near the edge of the roof so he could resume watch over his city. "It's not even that, corazon," he quietly admitted, gazing at the lights below him. "I refuse to dwell on that one. The Powers gave me a gift that I'll be eternally grateful for. They gave me love and another chance at true happiness when I thought that they were far beyond my reach. I won't question how it came about, only give thanks." He stiffened as a pair of warm arms wrapped themselves around his waist, but willed himself to relax.
"Then what is it?"
"I can't stop replaying our fight--when you said that Simon's punishment was out of my hands. I saw red, Isabel, I wanted revenge. I wanted Simon to be the Scourge's masterpiece," he admitted quietly. "And I wanted you to share that feeling--I wanted you to understand--but how idiotic is that? You're one of the Divinitus. Your kind doesn't know that sort of emotion. You live for good of the earth, not death, vengeance, and torture. How can you love me when I do? You can feel the demon, love, you know that it's with me every minute of every day. How can you stand it?"
Isabel couldn't help but laugh. Angel was having the same misgivings that she'd had in her short time as one of the deceased. 'Oh, yeah. We are definitely meant to be.' The vampire turned around in her arms and stared at her in disbelief. "You think this is funny, Isabel? Do you have any idea how close I was to pushing you aside and doing what I wished with Simon despite you?"
Isabel sat Angel down on the ledge and took his hands in her own. "Angel, for those moments I was gone, I had an epiphany of sorts. I thought that I was a defective Divinitus. Before I died, I saw a part of myself I never knew existed. Simon gave me made me see it. I used to live a sordid life, Angel," she blatantly admitted. "But I *never* thought of doing what I did in the visions Simons forced on me. And you know what? I liked it. What I saw myself doing--to Spike and Willow, no less. I was to dominate them, make them mine." She paused and inched closer to him so that she stood between his thighs. Just remembering made Isabel's eyes darken in lust and Angel could smell the beginnings of her arousal. "It made me hot, Angel," she whispered darkly. "Knowing that they would've begged for me, cried out for me. It was power I never imagined."
"Do you want to do those things, corazon?" he whispered as he tried to keep her scent from affecting him. "Do you really want to dominate your friend and my childe?" For a moment he could've sworn that she did as he saw the wicked thoughts in her head churning away as a smile spread across her lips. It both turned him on and terrified him. With relief and a small fraction of disappointment, he saw the desire fade from Isabel's eyes as she shook her head.
"No, Angel," she assured him gently. "While Willow is a hottie and Spike is definitely a pretty piece of flesh, I would die before *ever* hurting them. I did kick the bucket, remember?" She grinned as Angel's jaw dropped after she referred to her death so nonchalantly, but continued. "It's the same with you, Wes, and Cordy. When I slid those blades into Simon, I made my choice." She lifted a hand to his chin, tilting his head back so his dark eyes met her violet ones. Love was clearly written in their depths, causing Angel guilt for even doubting her feelings for him. "And quit it with the guilt," she ordered seriously, but with a loving smile. "We're allowed to be confused and question our feelings, Angel. It wouldn't be right if we didn't."
"You're thoughts are far too lucid, Isabel. You put this poor, old mind to shame."
"Hush and let me finish so we can go back to sleep," she asked of him before they could start off on another tangent. All she wanted to do was ease Angel's fears about her understanding of his nature so she could wrap herself in his arms and pass out. "Honey, Divinitus or not, I know I wished for blood. I fucking craved it and part of me still does. But it's only a *tiny* part of me. It's the part that connects me to you and Spike," she whispered. "I'm not perfect. I'm still human, but I've chosen my path and it goes where you go. *That* was my epiphany. I realized that the Gods made me different than the rest of the Divinitus, Angel. They made me to love you and understand you and be with you during every step of your journey. That means being able to look into that dark little corner of my soul and recognize it isn't all that bad. It's a very valid part of me, just like the demon is a part of you."
Before he could say a word, she changed the subject. "And if you think that Simon got off easy, you're really, really wrong. Just think for a sec-- I took his immortality and his strength away and that's what defined him. If you would've had your way with him, in a few days or hours he would've been dust and then sent to burn in the netherworld. Now, he has years until he dies of natural causes and is given his eternal punishment. He's a vampire with mortal vulnerability. And he's gonna spend that mortal life in federal lock-up while being buggered by some big dude who likes pretty boys. If you think I don't know what vengeance is, think again."
"I'm sorry, corazon. You've been right from the outset. Even if you hadn't decided on his punishment, it wasn't mine to give. But I won't apologize for my feelings. He hurt someone I love and that isn't something that I can forgive. And it wasn't just the demon that wanted vengeance--it was also the man." He looked into those sparkling eyes, expecting them to reflect disgust at his last admission, but saw just the opposite. Angel saw her love, thanks, and adoration for him. She did understand. Isabel knew that he would kill for her, consequences be damned, and she accepted that.
"We aren't all that different if you think about it, Angel." With a warm smile, the vampire took her in his arms and held her close. "I suppose not, Bell."
"Are you done pouting now?" she asked wearily, the strain of the day finally choosing to take its toll. "I am. Now, let's get you to bed, my little demon." He stood and took her hand, leading her back to the apartment. They crept past Willow and Spike's sleeping forms and quietly crawled into bed. The vampire pulled Isabel's warm body against his, her back to his chest, before draping an arm over her waist. "Good night, love." She happily snuggled into his embrace and smiled sleepily. "Good night, Angel. And I do love you," she reminded him. "I know this is just the beginning and we aren't quite *in* love yet and there's still a bunch we need to learn about each other and it's gonna be a challenge, but it'll be worth it. " She finished her sleepy babble with a yawn. "I love you, too, corazon," he returned. "And you are so *very* worth it."
~*~*~
"Hear that, pet?"
Willow smiled against Spike's chest where her head was comfortably pillowed. "I sure did, Spike," she whispered. "Enough to make you wanna puke isn't it?" A chuckle escaped the vampire's lips. "Sure is, love."
"But we're happy for them anyway," she yawned as Spike slightly tightened his embrace.
"Bloody right we are, Red."