Pairing: S/W....of course
Rating:This part-rated pg13
Summary: Pain..remembering memories
Distribution: redssoulmates.com
Feedback: No feedback..no fic. Lots of feedback..I write more.
Disclaimer: Don't sue. I don't own any of the characters. I don't make any money from it. All credit goes to Joss.
Spoilers: Spoilers from and through season 7(especially finale)-you have been warned!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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~Part: 1~
He walked down the street taking in the night air. It was cool and crisp. He pulled his jacket around him a little more snug trying to warm up. Lately he had been so concentrated on his past memories. It could absorb him at times. His screw-ups and his accomplishments. Everything seemed so new. So different. And yet so lonely. He knew now she wasn't the one. Not even close to being the one. And he knew Dru hadn't been the one either. He knew now that Buffy was a mistake. All he had ever wanted was to be loved with devotion. To be needed.
He didn't sacrifice himself for Buffy or even the world. In a way he did it for himself. He knew there was good inside of him as well as the evil. And the evil through all this was still there. He decided to do it for himself as well as for her. It was always about her. To prove to her what kind of man he was. She never saw and he died...again. Through it all she never left his thoughts.
~~Hours later~~
Meanwhile in a town right outside of L.A...There was a knock at Willow's bedroom door. "Hey I'm gonna take Dawn to school. You wanna talk when I get back?" There was silence. Buffy didn't know what to do. She didn't even know why Willow was upset. She left to go down the hallway to the front door. She ran into Xander in the hallway.
"Hey speedy girl. In a hurry?"
"Hey Xander. I have to take Dawn to school but..."
"But what?"
"It's Willow. She still won't talk to me. Has she said anything to you?"
"No. Not yet. That's where I'm headed to." He saw sadness come over Buffy. He continued. "Willow's strong. Whatever she's dealing with, she'll come through."
"I hope you're right." Buffy looked at her watch. "Gotta go. See ya later."
"Bye." Xander walked down the hallway to Willow's room. He thought how different his life had become. He had become roommates or rather housemates with Buffy, Dawn and Willow. Anya was gone. I loved her so much he thought to himself. I still do. Buffy never knew about Xander and Willow's mornings. Xander would go to Willow's room every morning after Buffy left. Willow would never talk. Sometimes he would talk to her. Usually they sat in silence. Understanding each other's pain. Xander didn't know why Willow was so upset but it didn't matter to him. He was her best friend and she was upset. He would always be there for her. Just like he knew she would be there for him.
~Part: 2~
Xander reached Willow's bedroom door and paused. "Wills?" Silence. He pushed open the door and saw her sitting on the floor. She was leaning against the side of the bed staring at the rain. If you stared at the rain long enough, it would become hypnotizing. At the same time it was calming and almost pure.
Spike was making his way back to his apartment. He stopped and closed his eyes, feeling the sensations around him. He was feeling the warmth of the sun and the wetness of the rain. Together it was a perfect combination. He made it to his apartment dodging most of the rain. After he dried off, he changed his clothes and sat by the window. He watched the rain beating against the window. He thought of how pure and simple the rain is. Then his mind drifted to her. How he so missed her.
Xander entered the room and sat down next to his best friend. She was so hurt and he didn't have the slightest clue why. He wanted to comfort her and tell her everything was gonna be alright. "Wills I miss you. I know I come here everyday but it's not the same. I feel like you're lost and I want to help. I want to talk to you. And even if it's for a brief moment, I want my best friend back." Xander didn't want to shed any tears in front of Willow. As he said his last statement, one tear slipped. Willow and Xander sat there most of the day in silence. Each of them were comforted just knowing the other one was there. Hours and hours passed by, each one was involved with their own thoughts.
Finally Willow spoke. The first time in weeks. She let a tear escape her eyes. And for the first time in weeks her face showed emotion. "I miss him so much. I never told him. Besides he never cared for me." Xander looked at her confused. "Xand I am grateful for your visits everyday and your friendship but I miss him. And it hurts so bad."
Xander gave her a hug but she was not responsive. He decided to leave her alone. As he left, he knew now that she wasn't lost. But she was hurting.
Spike pulled his jacket on and locked the door behind him as he went into the darkness. The cool air of the night surrounded his body. He started to walk through the streets. He was more depressed than usual. He just wanted to be alone but fate had other plans. He stared at the park that was infront of him. It's where he always comes to think. About what to do. About what he's done. And about her. He was deep in thought when he saw the woman. She was half way across the park. And being attacked--by a vampire. Spike ran as fast as he could to the woman. Right before he reached her, someone pushed him out of the way. When he was pushed, he halfway flipped and landed on his back. "Bloody hell." He watched the woman's expression when the vampire turned to dust. She was almost speechless. Almost. She thanked the person that pushed Spike out of the way and then walked over to Spike to thank him. After that she ran as fast as she could out of the park. Then the other person started to speak. He couldn't see her, but knew her voice.
"Sorry about that. I didn't mean to push you that hard. Are you ok? Are you hurt?" She stepped forward to see him. Her mouth dropped open. "Spike?"
"Buffy." He said it just like he was stating a fact.
"No. No."
Spike was confused. "You're not Buffy? Cause I knew this chit..."
"Of course I'm Buffy. Who are you?"
"Who am I? You crazy bint. Did you have a memory lapse or are you bloody dense?"
"You died."
"Pet, I was already dead."
"Fine. You died AGAIN." Buffy was so confused. "How? I mean...how?"
"You said that already pet? You gonna help me up considering you're the one that pushed me down in the first place?"
Buffy looked at him cautiously. "Alright." She grabbed his hand, took one look at him and then let go.
"Bloody hell. What the hell is wrong with you?"
"You're breathing."
"So?"
"And your hand Spike."
"My hand?"
"Your hand was...is warm."
~Part: 3~
"I know."
"Give me your hand Spike." Reluctantly he extended his hand. She pulled him up till he was standing. She pushed on the pressure point in his hand.
"Ow. What the hell?"
"Since when the hell do you say ow? Vampires--pain--remember?"
Spike's eyes shifted down to the ground. He tried to pull his hand away but he was too late. Buffy's fingers were around his wrist.
"Pulse."
Spike acted innocent. "What?"
"Ummm...Why do you have a pulse? And why aren't you calling me Slayer? And why are you not cold?"
"Which question do you want me to answer first pet?"
Buffy took two steps away. "Is this some dream? An alternate reality? Spike?"
"This is real. It's not a dream. Spike is a nickname now. My name is William."
"That was your human name."
"It was."
She just stared at him. "You're human now, aren't you?"
"Nothing gets by you does it," he told her sarcastically?
"This isn't funny. I'm serious."
Spike quit grinning and looked at her seriously. "I am a human now."
"But...how?"
"Look pet I don't have a problem telling you about it but can we get out of here?"
"What?"
"Out of the park? Out of the cold and the dark?
"Uh...yeah, I guess so. I don't live that far from here if you're up for a walk."
"Sure."
"We're renting a house."
"Who exactly is we?" He finally had some hope he would get to see his Red.
"I share a house with Xander and Dawn." No need to tell him about Willow yet, she's still not speaking she thought to herself.
"Oh," was all he managed to say. Well there it is, my beloved is gone. The hope that he had vanished quickly.
Buffy and Spike walked in silence. Right before they walked up to the door, Spike felt he should say something.
"Buffy I have to tell you something."
"Yeah."
"I don't love you. I don't feel that way about you. Sorry if that hurts you."
"Actually I'm quite relieved."
"What I did- sacrificing myself. I did that for me. I did it for me and the woman that I loved. To show her I was something more."
"Who? What are you talking about?"
"It dosen't matter. She's gone," he said with remorse in his voice. He pointed at the door. "Shall we go inside?"
Buffy unlocked the door and they went inside. "Xander," she called?
"In the kitchen Buff."
Buffy and Spike walked into the kitchen. Xander was cooking and had his back to them. "Where's Dawn," she asked?
"Spending the night at a friends-all the info is on the fridge."
"Ummm...Xand?"
"Yeah."
"I ran into someone we haven't seen in a while tonight."
"They didn't turn into a vampire, did they? Cause I'm beginning to hate that."
"Not exactly. Kinda the opposite really."
"Dinner's done. Are you hungry?"
"Yeah a little."
"Here's a pla..." As Xander turned around to hand Buffy the empty plate,
he saw him. The plate fell to the floor and shattered.
~Part: 4~
"Spike?"
"Xander."
"Xander? No moron or chubbs?"
"Xander is your name, is it not?"
Xander just stared at him.
"What are you cooking mate?"
Xander jumped back away from Spike. "What is this? A conversation?" Xander then looked at Buffy. "I thought we agreed to not invite ANY vampires into out home."
"I didn't."
"What is it--an all access pass?"
"It's not the same now," Spike told Xander. "Things have changed."
"This is so not happening. Your dead. Like really dead." Xander started looking at him strangely.
"What?"
"You're breathing. Why are you breathing?"
"I think you should sit down Xander," Buffy told him.
"I don't want to sit down. I just want to know what's going on."
Spike took a deep breath. "Xander, I'm human now."
Xander tried to take in that piece of information. "I think I need to sit down."
Moments later after Xander got over his initial shock.....
"First you were dead. Evil dead. Then you were dusty dead because vampire plus fire is bad. And now you're a human?"
"Yeah."
"Spike how does that happen," Buffy asked?
Xander asked Buffy, "Does he want to be called Spike anymore?"
"He wants to be called William," she told him.
"Hey you gits. He is sitting righy in front of you," Spike said. "I am the he in this conversation."
"Sorry," they both mumbled.
"I would like to be called William, but if you prefer you can call me Spike. That goes for either one of you."
"How did this all happen," Xander asked?
"The PTB. They did it. I died a champion. I died good. I sacrificed myself and they saw honor in what I did. They gave me the choice to come back as a human."
"Wow. A human after all those years."
"Yeah. I almost forgot how it felt and how painful it could be. One of the things I cane back for isn't here."
"The girl," Buffy asked?
"Yeah."
"You mean you're not after Buffy," Xander asked?
"No mate. My heart belongs to another. Or maybe I should say belonged."
"It sounds like you really loved her," Xander told him.
"I did. I do still."
They continued to talk all the way through dinner. Xander suddenly got quiet and serious. "I spent some time with Willow today."
"Any change," Buffy asked?
"Not really. She spoke but I'm still not sure what or who she was talking about. And that was it."
Spike was confused. "Willow?" His heart started to speed up.
Xander looked at him strangely. "Yeah. Remember. Witch. Red hair. Green eyes. You called her Red."
"She's here. She's alive?"
"In a way. She's mourning for someone. Someone she loved. We don't know who. She locks herself in her bedroom and dosen't come out. She dosen't even talk to anyone anymore. It's like part of her died."
Spike stood up. "I want to see her now."
~Part: 5~
"What," Buffy asked?
"I want to see her. I want to see Willow."
"Maybe you didn't hear us Spike. She dosen't talk to anyone. Anyone. She's shut herself off from the world."
"Buffy I don't see what the big deal is," Xander told her. "Especially if he can bring her back to reality. I miss her Buffy."
"See, what harm is there," Spike said hopefully?
"Yeah I guess. It's the third room on the left--upstairs. Can you find it?"
"Yeah. I can manage. Thanks." Spike started up the stairs looking at the pictures that covered the walls. He came to the realization that these people were the closest things he had to as friends. People he had hated once upon a time and then tolerated. Now being human, everything was so different. He stood outside her door. Wanting to knock. Wanting to tell her everything. Then he remembered their words. She was mourning someone she loved. His heart sank. She loved another. He took a step away from the door trying to get the courage to knock.
Inside the room, Willow was on her bed reading. For the first time it seemed like she wasn't lost. That the missing part of her life had been filled. She knew that wasn't true. The man she loved had died. Something surrounding her kept her at peace with herself. Kept her content. Moments later it was gone.
Spike decided he couldn't do it. He couldn't knock and he couldn't express to her everything he wanted to tell her. He turned away and walked back down the stairs. The few moments of contentment that he had was now gone. Xander and Buffy were sitting in the living room watching a movie when Spike rushed down the stairs.
"Spike, are you alright?" Xander asked.
"I have to leave. I-I-I have to go."
"Did you talk to her?"
Spike shook his head no. "I couldn't even knock. I'm sorry." He walked outside into the cold night air.
"That was weird," Xander stated.
"Yeah it was," Buffy agreed.
Spike didn't want to go home yet. He made his way to the park once again. Trying to sort out all the thoughts. Trying to grasp the fact that his love was alive, but loved another. He closed his eyes breathing in deeply. Smelling the night air. Remembering what he once was. Thinking of the man that he is now.
About an hour later Willow came down the stairs. She felt the need to get out of the house for a while. Being there was driving her crazy. She walked down the stairs quietly. Xander and Buffy never heard her. She didn't want to scare them though. "Xander?"
"Wills?" He jumped up off the couch and went to hug her. Buffy followed.
"Hi guys. I just need to get out of the house for awhile. To be by
myself. I didn't want you to worry."
"Are you alright?"
"I will be. I'll see you soon ok? Couple of hours? I just have to get
out for awhile."
Xander didn't want to push. "Alright Wills. Be careful."
"I will." Willow left the house suddenly feeling free. But the contentment still wasn't there. She kept walking until she found herself at the park. She looked around and saw a sitting bench. She decided she wanted to sit under the stars for awhile.
Spike wasn't aware of how long he had his eyes closed for. Seemed like a second. It also seemed like an eternity. When he opened his eyes he couldn't believe the sight. It was her. Willow. It was fate. He decided he had to do something. He walked up behind the bench and sat down on the opposite side of the bench. If he reached out his arm he could've touched her. He sat there looking up at the stars for a moment until he could feel her eyes gazing upon him. He looked over at her. She was more beautiful then he had remembered. Their eyes locked and everything else seemed to disappear. "Hello luv."
~Part: 6~
It can't be she thought. Spike was sitting in front of her. No, no, no. He was dead. Gone.
"Pet?"
She started to inch away from him. "This isn't real. You're not real." She believed the person before her was a memory. A hallucination that came to life.
Spike didn't understand. Why was she moving away from him? "Willow..."
"I knew it."
"Knew what pet?"
"Spike would never use my real name." She started rocking back and forth.
"William might," he muttered under his breath. He would have said it louder but he didn't think it would help.
Spike reached his arm over to comfort her. Willow jumped off of the bench. "Don't touch me."
"I just...," he started.
"Don't." She looked at him with tears in her eyes. "Why are you doing this to me?"
"Willow, listen..."
"No you listen. Whoever you are, whatever you are. I can't do this again. The pain. It was so strong." She dropped to her knees. "Just leave me alone."
"I can't do that."
Willow didn't understand what evil was doing this. Why it was doing it. It took Spike from her. It took Anya from Xander. What else did it want?
She finally stood up. "You took him from me. There's nothing else to take away." She turned to run off until Spike grabbed her hand and pulled her to him.
"Pet, it's me. I'm not a memory. This is real."
She pushed him back and ran all the way home. By the time she reached
the house she was out of breath. She threw the door open and quickly locked
it behind her.
Buffy had already gone to sleep but Xander was in the kitchen when
she had burst through the door. "Wills are you alright? What happened?"
Willow looked at Xander and he saw the tears began to fall. He walked over to her and gave her a hug until she quit crying.
"You want to sit down Wills? Maybe talk?"
She shook her head yes. "There's something I need to tell you." They both moved over to the couch and sat down. "I'm so sorry Xander."
Xander didn't understand where this was going. "About what?"
"Anya. You loved her so much. I should have been there for you."
"You were dealing with stuff Wills. It's alright."
"Still I shoud have been there."
"You were. Just being in the room with you--it gave me comfort." He was unsure how to say his next statement. "We had a visit from someone earlier today."
"Yeah, that was nice. Who was it?"
He looked at her nervously. "Spike."
"It's not real," she told him. "I got a visit too."
"Wills..."
"It's not real Xand."
At that moment the doorbell rang. "I'll answer it," Xander said. He opened the door seeing the figure. "Come in."
Spike walked through the door seeing Willow on the couch.
Willow turned around. After seeing Spike she stood up quickly.
"Pet give me five minutes. If a shred of you dosen't believe me, I'll walk out of your life forever."
"You have five minutes," Willow told him.
Xander stood at the doorway and watched his best friend with the ex-vampire.
Spike walked over to stand in front of Willow. He reached to hold her hand and much to his suprise, she let him. "The first time around, so many things were left unsaid. It is me pet. I'm back and I know you don't believe that."
"Spike, it's just..."
"Shhh pet. Look into my eyes."
She looked into his eyes as he placed her open hand on his chest.
It was then that she felt it. A heartbeat.
~Part: 7~
She felt the beat of his heart under her fingers. His skin was warm to the touch. His chest falling and rising as he breathed in and out. As she looked into his eyes, she lost herself in them.
Spike looked into Willow's eyes. Feeling her hand upon his chest. He could feel the heat from her body. If he really listened, he could almost hear her heart beat.
"Spike?"
"Yeah pet."
"You have a heart beat and you're breathing and warm. You're warm."
"Yeah."
"I don't understand..."
"Red, there were so many things I never got to say. He reached his hand up and stroked the side of her face. She leaned her face into his hand. She savored the innocent touch as much as he savored touching her. "Willow, I..."
The sound of his voice brought her back to reality. "Don't."
"Don't what pet?"
She took a step back and looked at him. "Don't say it."
"Bloody hell. You don't even know what I was gonna say."
"Dosen't matter Spike."
"It's William," he told her.
"What?"
"Nothing pet."
She looked into Spike's eyes and looked away. "This is too...too....I'm not ready for this much reality." She looked at him again. "I'm sorry. I'm so sorry." Willow ran to her bedroom and quickly locked the door. She could still hear Spike and Xander calling her name.
Both guys looked at the stairs for a moment trying to register what just happened. Xander looked at Spike. "You want something to drink? Water? Soda?"
"Soda's good. What just happened? Why did? Why did she run off? Away from me?"
"Why don't you sit down?" They both sat down at the kitchen table. "She's
been like that for awhile. Ever since the day you died. She was so silent
and withdrawn. So lost."
Xander took a deep breath. "When she finally came around to talking
again, she started talking about mourning a love that she lost." Xander
watched as Spike's face expression went from concern to sadness.
"She loved another bloke?"
"Yeah."
"Who?"
"I don't know. She won't say."
Spike looked at his drink, wishing it was him that she had loved.
"What are you thinking about," Xander asked?
"Wishful thinking."
"I'm concerned about her Spike. She won't open up to me and I don't know what else to do."
Spike started to write something on the outside of an envelope. "I'm gonna try to talk to her once more before I leave."
"I'll be down here if you need anything," Xander told him.
Spike started up the stairs and stood outside of her bedroom door. He knocked twice. "Pet. Willow, we need to talk. Please open the door." He waited but heard nothing. He put both hands on the door. "Please Willow. I just...I just want to see your face one last time." Spike got no response. Before leaving, he slid the envelope under the door.
Willow stood on the other side of the door with her hand on the knob. She listened to his words, wanting to turn the knob. She wanted to touch his face. Make sure that he was real. But she couldn't. She was so scared that if it was real, she would never feel this way again. That he would leave her again. A part of her inside had already died, she couldn't go through that again. She listened as he made his way down the stairs. When the footsteps were gone, she looked down and saw the envelope. On the front was her name. She read the back outloud to herself:
903 Windshire
William**aka-Spike
I'm always here for you.
Willow sat on her bed staring at the envelope. Running her fingers along the words. She waited until Xander went to sleep and then she quietly left the house. Almost twenty minutes later she found the address. She stood outside the door in the rain, debating if she should knock.
~Part: 8~
She looked at the door knowing that if she knocked it could change everything. But if she didn't knock and she shut him out, she could lose everything. She could lose him. She took a deep breath, closed her eyes and knocked on the door.
"Just a minute," the voice from inside said. He opened the door and they both just stared at each other.
It was obvious he had just gotten out of the shower. When Willow looked at him, she found herself speechless. His hair was still wet and a little wavy. It fell perfectly around his face. His jeans were zipped up but he left the button undone. And his shirt was...absent. She took a moment and glanced at his chest. It was perfectly sculpted, like a piece of art. She found herself actually holding her breath.
He stared at her for a moment. His idea of perfection bound in one woman. That one woman was now standing on his doorstep. He glanced at her body. Her wet clothes were clinging to her body.
"Umm, Spike...I mean William?"
"Yeah pet."
"The rain, it's cold. Could I...unless you're busy. I could just go back home."
He watched her ramble on and on. He missed that. "Sorry pet. Please excuse my lack of manners. Come in."
She stepped into his home but quickly turned to him. "It's alright if you're busy. I can leave...it's just..it's just seeing you and then the envelope...I just...I just wanted to see you."
As he closed and locked the door, he smiled to himself. "Wait here. I'll be right back." As he left, Willow glanced around the room. Everything in the room was done in black and a deep royal blue. It felt very calming to her. She never heard him come up behind her. "Willow turn around." She did as she was told. He draped a large towel around her shoulders and rubbed her arms gently in an attempt to dry her off a bit.
Willow looked at him. The man that stood before her. He was still so much like Spike, but also like the human he had once been. And is now. She wanted to reach out and run her hands along his body. Willow lost herself in her thoughts until Spike spoke again.
"Pet you're cold. I have a t-shirt and a pair of boxers you can change into, if you'd like. We can put your clothes in the dryer."
She smiled at him. "Yes, thank you."
"I'll go get them." He walked into the bedroom to retrieve the clothes. When he started to walk out of the bedroom, he passed by the mirror. He froze and became embarrassed. He even started to blush. All this time he had been talking to Willow and he wasn't even properly dressed. Oh what she must think of me he thought to himself.
He quickly pulled on a t-shirt and headed to the main room where Willow was waiting. "Here's the clothes. The bathroom is down the hall, second door on the right."
Thank you."
"Are you thirsty or hungry? I could make something while you're changing."
"Um..a drink sounds good. Soda?"
"Sure. Why don't you go change your clothes and I'll get you that drink."
Moments later Willow emerged from the bathroom and walked into the main room where Spike was waiting. When Spike saw her, his body froze. His heart started to beat faster. She was wearing his clothes and he couldn't think of a moment that she had looked sexier.
~Part: 9~
Willow saw the look on his face and started to doubt herself.
She was mesmerizing. He couldn't tear his eyes away from her.
"Is...is something wrong? Cause you haven't looked away or smiled or even grinned. And I know these are your clothes but do I look bad cause now I'm suddenly self conscious and the clothing is really comfortable and it smells like you but that's not the point. Please say something."
He didn't want to seem too eager with his answer. After all she was in love with someone else. "You look fine."
Willow gave him a half smile. Fine? Fine is the same thing as cute. That word is evil. Fine is a word to describe something that you don't want to discuss. Or in this case to look at. "So now what?"
"We could talk, if you'd like."
She sat next to him on the couch. He looked away from her. "What did you want to talk about?" He shrugged his shoulders to her last question.
They both sat in silence until Spike decided to speak up. "I'm sorry."
Willow was confused. "About what?"
Spike couldn't believe this was how he started this conversation. He was William again. I should be reciting her poetry, he thought. Gentle words and a passionate love. Sweeping her off her feet. Romance. Instead he was talking about another bloke to Willow. Someone she loved. "The love you lost. The other bloke that you loved. Xander told me you were mourning for him. Do you still miss him?"
Miss him, she thought? Not really cause he..you're sitting right in front of me, she wanted to say. "Not so much anymore," was her only reply.
"You loved him," Spike asked?
She looked at him, not understanding why he was being all cryptic. She looked into Spike's eyes. "I still do."
With that one sentence, Spike felt the pain shoot through his heart. He needed an escape. A reason to leave that couch at this very moment. "I forgot the drinks, I'll be right back." Spike left the main room and went into the kitchen. He walked into the kitchen and sat down for a moment. His hands were shaking and he felt a lump in his throat starting to rise. She really does love someone else he thought. He fought back the tears that were trying to form in his eyes.
Willow remained on the couch. Her head swirled with all kinds of thoughts. What am I doing here, she thought to herself. He dosen't even seem to want me here. And why is he being all cryptic? Maybe I should just leave before he comes out here again.
~Part: 10~
Willow stood up to leave just as Spike came out of the kitchen with the drinks. He looked at her sensing the tension floating around the room. 'I knew it, she dosen't want to be here. But if that was true, why did she come?' "Were you leaving pet?" 'Please say no,' he pleaded to himself.
Willow was torn in two. In one way she was in complete comfort surrounded by William. She saw aspects of Spike and William in him. In the other way she was so unsure how to act around him and what to say. "Ummm...no. I was just going to see if you needed some help," she lied.
Spike handed her the drink and they both sat down on the couch. He looked at her sincerely. "That was a lie, wasn't it?" he asked.
Willow took a deep breath. "Yeah. Yeah it was. This is just..I mean you and me and..."
Spike reached for her hand. As he held it he looked at her. "I know." He let go of her hand. "Luv, you never have to lie to me."
"I should go," she said quickly.
He nodded his head. "I'll accompany you to your home. Make sure you get there safely."
"You don't have to do that," she told him.
"Yes I do."
"Ummm..What about my clothes? They're not dry yet."
"Be right back." He left and when he entered the room, he was holding his leather duster. It was similar to the one he had previously--before everything. Before he died.
Willow looked at the jacket. "I couldn't."
"Of course you can. I insist." He helped her into the duster. She turned and faced him. "Besides you look good in my jacket."
"Don't forget I'm wearing your clothes too," she whispered with a smile upon her face.
Spike held her hands in his. "How could I forget," he said with a smile. "The clothes and the jacket suit you Willow. I suit you." They both stood there staring into each other's eyes. It felt as if time stood still for the both of them. As quickly as the moment had begun it was quickly interrupted by the chiming hands of the grandfather clock.
"We should be..."
"Leaving. Yeah. After you pet." And with that they both emerged into the cool night air. The walk home was very quiet. It also seemed too short of a walk. They wanted to stay in each other's company as long as possible. "We're here pet."
"Spike..."
"You don't have to say anything luv." He could feel his heart beating faster. He could feel it almost pounding out of his chest.
Willow started taking off the duster. "Here's your jacket."
"Keep it, until we meet again." He took her hand and kissed it.
Willow kept the jacket on as he requested. She slipped inside the door and realized that when she was with him she felt complete. She rushed upstairs and to her window. She pulled the curtain back and glanced down to him from the balcony window. He watched her for a moment watching him, then turned around and walked down the road. Willow watched him until she could see him no longer. She pulled the curtain closed and slipped off his jacket. She placed the jacket on the bed and started to lie down still dressed in his clothes. She drifted to sleep with thoughts of William. His movements. His smell. His touch.