It had been a month since Willow and Spike had fallen victim to the whims of Mischief. Any given month on the Hellmouth, though, tends to be a little more eventful than most, so in that span of time, a lot had happened. There had been demons and some various hell-beasts. There had been Giles' search for a new car and Anya's first bout with the flu. Buffy slayed and Xander quipped. And Tara broke Willow's heart.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Willow stood outside his crypt. On the outside, she was perfectly still. On the inside, she was having a heated argument with herself.

This is stupid. This is the stupidest thing you've ever done. You will regret this until the day you die. Go home. Don't do this. Don't do this. Then she thought of Tara. She thought of her sweet smile and the way she would drop her eyes shyly. "I am, you know." The tears began to well up in Willow's eyes. "Yours." And then she thought of Oz. "I'd still. I'd very still." The tears began to fall.

Willow shook her head. She was done crying and through with being ripped apart by the ones who loved her. She entered the crypt.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Spike had thought he heard the steady thrum of a heartbeat nearby. When it didn't get any closer or further away for several minutes, he'd almost decided it was his imagination. Then the door to his crypt opened slowly to reveal Willow behind it.

Great, he thought. What does the bleedin' Slayer need me for this time?

Willow took a deep breath as she walked toward Spike. He already looked annoyed. What were you thinking? Turn back. You never should have come. She regarded the silent vampire for a moment before plastering on a happy face.

"Hi. Are ya busy?"

Who did the chit think she was fooling with that chipper tone? Spike narrowed his eyes at her and frowned. "What do you want?"

Unfazed, Willow advanced. "I came to ask you for something."

Spike knew it. Send the redhead. That always gets him. He turned his back on her and seethed. "Whatever she needs this time, she can do it herself."

"Buffy didn't send me. I came for me."

Spike turned back around, intrigued.

Willow looked at her feet nervously. "Tara, um, well... she's not exactly... human, as it turns out, and, uh, I..."

Spike had taken a step closer to her.

"I just want to make it all go away."

"And you came to me for that?"

She nodded and launched into one of her trademark rambles. Spike didn't hear most of it. Standing this close to her, he was remembering the feel of her skin, how warm she was. "...and now I know and nothing can go back to the way it was and I can't stop thinking about it and then I thought of something that would make me stop thinking and that's where you come in, only..."

Spike started to listen to what she was saying. She couldn't possibly mean -

"...I don't know if you'd be interested, but you never know if you don't ask and so here I am, asking." As the words finished tumbling out of her mouth, Willow finally looked up and noticed Spike didn't seem annoyed anymore.

He cocked his head to the side. "What exactly are you asking, love?"

That heartbeat Spike had noticed picked up in pace. Willow's eyes met his and then promptly dropped to the floor. "Remember when Cupid did his funny little spell and we got sorta, er, close?"

When Spike didn't answer, Willow looked up. She didn't know what reaction she expected him to have, but it wasn't this. His eyes were slowly traveling up her frame and he unconsciously drew his hand over his chest. That heartbeat began to race.

"Oh, I think I recall a little here - and there - of our - encounter - with one another." He punctuated his sentence with a knowing glance and a sly grin.

"Right. So. I was wondering..." Willow's brain began to send its last attempts to flee. Are you crazy? Turn around and leave! Pretend this never happened!

"You were wondering if. . .?" Spike reached over and pushed a lock of hair away from her face.

"Um, if maybe you'd like to, um. . ." Willow's brain began chanting What are you doing? What are you doing?

"You came over to shag, then?"

"Well," Willow bit her lip, hesitant. She shrugged. "Yeah."

Spike considered this carefully. Two seconds later, he said "I'm okay with that."

Willow's brain shut off completely.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Willow lay on her back on what Spike considered a bed. He was beside her, not touching her. He had proven himself very adept at being a temporary distraction, but as her breathing returned to normal and her skin cooled, rational thought came back into play. And now she had regret to add to her list of current problems.

"Spike? Can I ask you something?"

He opened his eyes and stared at the ceiling. What was she going to ask? The little witch confounded him, and he didn't like that. "Fire away."

"You didn't laugh and tell me to run along back to the Slayer. Why?"

Silence.

Lie to her. You don't owe her any explanation. She asked for this. Tell her you never turn down an easy lay. Do not tell her the truth. Spike rolled onto his side and propped himself up on his elbow so that he could look Willow in the face when he spoke. He opened his mouth to lie. And the truth came out instead.

"Because you're innocent and I'd like to be the one to corrupt you. Because I can't hurt you physically but I know I can emotionally. Because I want to be the biggest mistake you ever made. I hate having to help your little group so that you won't stake me, and I feel oddly grateful to you for not letting me stake myself. And, with your big green eyes and goofy clothes, I think you're cute."

Willow blinked. She was speechless. She had assumed he wasn't going to answer. When he seemed so calm, she was certain he was going to lie. But she knew he was telling the truth. He had rambled. He couldn't possibly know how that made her feel. She didn't know how that made her feel. All she knew was suddenly, there was a funny feeling in her stomach. Not flip-flops and not butterflies, but something.

"Now tell me why you really came over here."

She closed her eyes. "Because I fell in love with good people; safe people. And they loved me." She paused. "Then they hurt me. I gave them my heart and they broke it without meaning to." Willow opened her eyes. "But I go into this knowing you'll hurt me." Spike's face remained emotionless. "How stupid and self-destructive of me, right?" Spike smiled at her; at least she knew when she was playing with fire.

"I always knew you were the smart one."

Willow didn't know what to say. Had Spike just complimented her? She'd almost expected him to chastise her like anyone else would have. Then she realized he didn't care enough to bother. He didn't care about her at all. She found an odd freedom in that. She'd never really taken the time to contemplate Spike as more than Buffy's enemy. Now she was curious about him.

Why isn't she saying anything? She was giving him the strangest look out of those big green eyes. She should be nervous. She should be rambling. Instead, she pulled a blanket over her chest modestly and sat up. Then she pushed him onto his back and crawled on top of him. With one hand, she held the blanket in place and with the other she took one of his hands. Holding it in her palm, she turned it over and studied it. Her eyes searched over his fingers, up his arm, across his chest. Spike grew uncomfortable under her unwavering gaze. "What are you doing?"

Willow didn't pay him much attention. "Sssh, I'm memorizing."

Something in her manner reminded him of Drusilla, though he wasn't sure what. Nonetheless, a stillness came over him.

Willow found Spike mesmerizing. She never knew what to expect from him. It was hard to anticipate what he would say or do. This fascinated her, and so she was studying him, like she would a new spell or a good book. She took little mental notes. He had good hands, like Oz. No pulse. Scars. Rough here, smooth there. There was one other aspect of Spike that she wanted to see closely. What would she need to do? She could strike him, but he'd see that coming and stop her. Maybe if...

Spike was about to speak to stop her from looking at him like that when she leaned down and nuzzled into his neck. Willow didn't want to lose her nerve, so she did a little something she remembered from her vampire self. She licked him. And then she bit him as hard as she could, without warning.

The vampire howled and shot them off the bed onto the floor. He pinned her to the ground and growled at her. "Why in hell did you do that?" he shouted.

Willow's heart was racing with fear. But, boy had she gotten the results she was looking for. She avoided looking into his amber eyes. She didn't refrain from tracing her trembling fingers over the ridges on his forehead.

Spike was stunned and a little aroused. She had wanted to see him like this. And she didn't pull away. The fear was coming off her in waves and there was a smudge of his own blood on her bottom lip. Something inside him caught. She couldn't possibly know how that made him feel. He didn't know how that made him feel. When she finished examining him, she looked him the eye and smiled. A lazy, "so, sue me" kind of smile. Spike didn't bother to think; he just reacted. He kissed his blood off her mouth, mixing hers with it when he accidentally cut her lip with his fangs.

Willow found herself beyond thought again. Regret wasn't making much of a show, either.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

She was blushing; she couldn't help it. He'd watched her the whole time she got dressed.

He loved making her blush. It was the defining symbol of her innocence. "What are you gonna tell the Slayer 'bout that lip?" Her face got redder. He smiled.

"How bad is it?"

"Looks like you've been kissing a vampire." She threw her sneaker at him.

"Maybe I'll use a glamour." She grinned mischieviously. "Or maybe I'll tell her the truth and watch her pummel you."

"Now, now. Then I might not be so willing to help you out the next time you need a - favor -" He handed her back her shoe.

"Yeah, yeah, I might actually have to say 'please' or something."

Spike stretched out like a cat. "Something like that."

"Hmm, well. I gotta go. Don't want anybody asking where I was, do we?"

"No, we don't."

Willow started to leave; she made it to the entrance and stopped. She turned her head. "Thanks, Spike."

"Don't thank me, pet. You owe me next time."

She nodded and was gone. He knew she lingered just outside the crypt, but he didn't see the look on her face when Oz's voice filtered into her head. "Our lives aren't like other people's." He didn't see the look fade when she thought of Tara saying "You have to be with the person you love." But most importantly, he missed the goofy grin that followed her memory of a certain British accent before walking away. "You had on that... Fuzzy pink number with the lilac underneath."
 

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