These people are my best friends. We've been through just about everything imaginable together. Demons and homework, monsters and heartbreak, love and the end of the world. You name it, we've done it.

This room has seen it all. And I have the feeling that the library is about to be the sight of yet another one for the books. All because of me and the man at my side. Most of them don't see the man, though. They only see the vampire whose done his fair share to stir up trouble in Sunnydale.

I admit, at first, the thought of trouble and destruction was foremost in my mind when thinking of Spike, too. That's changed, though. Well, not totally. There's still the realization that he is a demon, and that he has done things that the white hats aren't supposed to even know about. But there's more than that to Spike.

And he's not bad on the eyes, either. I so didn't just think that, did I? That's a no-no. Big one. I'm through with love. I'm through with crushes. Even lust is probably not a good idea.

There's... affection and humour in him, and a sense of adventure that even Xander on his hyperest of days couldn't match.

I just wish that everybody else could see that, too. Except for the attraction thing. That would most definitely not be a good thing at all. They would all have a fit. No doubt about it.

Everyone is waiting for me to begin. Unfortunately, I really can't think of anything to say about this. Part of me, the stuffy, tweed wearing Watcher who has been quite thoroughly trained to detest all things demon abhors having Spike in my library sitting side by side with one of my charges.

The part of me that flourished before my Watcher's training; and the aching, longing part of me that remembers the joys of being in love, wants to tell them to enjoy themselves while they can, consequences be damned.

It's obvious that they care about each other greatly. Nevermind the fact that Spike as a vampire shouldn't be able to feel anything more than bloodlust, lust, and amusement at the suffering of others. He cares for Willow. It's in his eyes, warmer when they look at her.

And Willow's reaction to Spike's absence leaves me with no room to doubt that what she feels for him is more than a passing infatuation. She was so very drawn and sorrowful while the vampire was gone, so much so that I felt my heart breaking every time I looked at her.

I... I don't know what to do. They care, and I want Willow to have the happiness that I was never able to claim with my beloved Jenny. And yet, I don't know that I can trust her with Spike. I trusted Angel with my Slayer's heart, only to see it broken, mine along with it.

He hasn't hurt Willow, even without a soul.

He is a demon.

If Spike truly does care about Willow, how can I know that he won't turn her so that she will stay with him for an eternity?

I...

I don't know what to do.

I doubt that, in the end, there is anything that I could do. Looking at them, I think that it's already far too late.

Nobody's talking. I should say something witty or funny... even downright dumb would do at this point. Anything to break this silence.

I can't find a word to say.

My Willow, my bestest bud in the entire world is sitting next to _Spike_, looking as comfortable as she could possibly be. He looks smug and amused, and he sneers every time he looks at Angel.

I'd like him just for that if it wasn't for the fact that he's one of the bad guys.

Damn it, Will! I always knew you had awful taste in men, that crush you had on me was enough proof of that. But _this_... this is beyond bad taste. This is suicide. This is... well, very not good.

Yeah, yeah, I know. He makes you feel alive. Great lot of good that's going to be when he kills you.

So, he saved your life. Probably just wanted to kill you himself.

No, don't do that! Stop looking at him all googly eyed. Oh man, this is right up there on the disturbing scale next to Angel and Buffy getting cozy.

...And that brings up a rather disturbing possibility. You wouldn't... would you? With _Spike_? Spike and Willow and snuggles... I think I'm going to hurl.

Look, Willow, I love you. I always have, I always will. Your my best friend. I only want you to be happy. I'd just prefer if Spike wasn't included in that happiness equation.

What is it with women and vampires anyway?

I owe her my life, I owe her my soul, I owe her my sanity. This slight, shy little girl seated across from me has given me more than I could have ever believed. And for that, I will do anything necessary to protect her.

I thought that was exactly what I was doing when I kept Spike from her. Apparently, that couldn't have been farther from the truth.

I wonder what happened here. Where did meek, withdrawn little Willow disappear to? I fear that my actions were the last step in driving Willow into the dark world in which we inhabit.

But, Spike? My childe was second only to Angelus himself in brutality and bloodlust. He had gloried in the power of the kill even before I turned him. I remember how amused I was then, watching him tear away the lives of the scurrying, foolish mortals.

How could Willow, the sweetest, gentlest soul that I have ever known, be drawn into Spike's darkness?

And I wonder, what force could have possibly driven Spike away from his Dark Goddess? Even Angelus' twisted affections could not keep Spike from loving Drusilla. What then does he want with Willow?

There are too many questions, too many uncertainties. I won't just let this slide. I'll watch him. And if he hurts her, I'll make sure that Spike won't be seeing another night.

I owe it to her.

She needs someone to watch after her, and no matter what may have occurred during my absence, I know Spike can't be that person.

I know the power of death, and if I couldn't resist it, what chance does Spike have of doing so?

This is way too freaky. I do the staking and Slaying thing. Kill this, kill that, no demons allowed. And here I am, sitting across from my mortal enemy... whose hand seems to be resting on Willow's knee.

Okay, I'm not reaching for my stake. I'm not. Really.

How the Hell did this happen? I leave, and suddenly Spike and Willow are going the friend route? Only on the Hellmouth, right?

But damn it, there's enough freakiness here already without my best friend getting friendly with that smug vampire.

Hey! Keep your hand right there! Good God, she doesn't even seem to notice. Okay, there goes the blush. She's noticed. Doesn't seem to mind terribly.

Believe me, Willow, vampires and snuggles are big trouble. But you and Spike wouldn't, would you? Really, you're the sensible one here. And sensible and vampires are totally non-related.

My life is complicated enough already. I don't need to have this wavering between the line dividing the good guys from the bad.

And he is a bad guy. You do realize that, don't you, Willow? You'll end up getting hurt in the end. I did, and my guy didn't even have that bad guy thing going against him.

Damn. I really have to kill something.

Thank God. She's starting to get some colour back. Pallid just isn't Willow's colour. Neither is that pink, either. I'd better have a nice, long talk with that girl about fashion soon. Does she expect to be able to snag that guy if she insists on dressing like a colour blind pre-schooler?

...Maybe Spike is colour blind. He doesn't seem to have noticed her appalling lack of good taste. Or maybe he's just more interested in what's underneath the clothes.

Who would have ever imagined that Willow would have snagged such a gorgeous man? And who would have ever imagined me _caring_?

Look at all these idiots. They're all having a fit. They think too much. I mean, really, what do they know about love?

Xander's lucky that I took pity on him, or he'd be stuck as a total looser forever. Giles... well, need we even mention what happened on his last date? Buffy and Angel are so confused about their own relationship that they shouldn't even be thinking about anybody else's.

I just hope that Willow and Spike figure things our soon. This unresolved tension is fun to watch for a while, but I'm looking forward to seeing the real sparks fly.

...Hurry up already. I have an appointment for a manicure in another hour.

~End~
 

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