~Pull me under Pull me under
Pull me under I'm not afraid
Living my life too much in the sun
Only until your will is done~
Five years had gone by and Willow still wasn't on speaking terms with
the rest. They still called her traitor and other unflattering phrases
since she
refused to let Angel or Buffy use her. Also they refused to allow
he to make her own decisions and stay with Spike. In addition, she
was deeply saddened by the fact that her friendship with Xander was lost
so easily.
She knew that one day Spike wanted to turn her, and she was ashamed to admit it, she wanted him to. It thrilled her that he wanted to spend eternity with her, since no one else seemed to want to. Everyone else left, and just seemed to want to use her before they did.
She knew that she should resist him turning her, after all she would be becoming what they had fought for all those years, but she didn't care. Being with him for all these years had changed her perspective. Besides, she didn't want to be like the self-righteous bastards that hurt her in the first place.
She wished that he would, so she could lose the feelings of guilt of
leaving her "friends" behind. She regretted that it required losing her
soul,
however. She didn't want to become evil, but she was tired of
her life.