Pairing: W/S and sort of W/T
Distribution: My site (http://magical_worlds.us/musings/), winter_spillow and my LJ (shannon730)
Disclaimer: They all belong to Joss Whedon, ME, UPN, FOX, WB.
Summary: Willow wants to make sure Tara's soul is in heaven.
Spoilers: Up to early season 7 (around the time Willow returns to Sunnydale)
Author's Notes: This is mostly AU from Grave on. Some parts of Season 7 will have happened (early episodes only) and most of that will be mentioned if it really matters.
And a huge thanks to Gabrielle for beta-ing this for me.
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She quietly unlocked the door to the empty house. She needed to get Spike out of that basement, it was dangerous. Something was down there, she could feel it. She had tried to talk to him about Tara but he wasn't making sense. Willow was hoping that here, in her parents' house, he would start to make more sense, that she would be able to talk to him, see if it was true. Was it possible that Spike, William the Bloody, had Tara's soul?
What did it mean if he did? Would that change the way she felt about him? Would he feel differently about her? When she had first found him in the basement a few hours ago, he said he loved her, but that was the Hellmouth talking... right? Or was it him? Was it Tara? Did a soul have enough control over the person to force its feelings through like that? Angel's soul was able to control Angelus, so it could be possible. She needed to know more, needed to find out what it would mean to her. To Spike.
She would have to call Giles later, he would have answers. Or at least she hoped he would. First, though, she had to find a safe space for the vampire behind her to sleep, someplace that wouldn't fry him with early morning sun before she could find out anything.
*****
She didn't believe him. Willow thought he was crazy. Not that she was wrong, he hadn't been right since Africa, since the blonde witch had taken up residence inside him. He had tried to cut her out at first, he didn't want the soft feelings she brought out. He had come back to Sunnydale to win Buffy back, to show her he could be a good man; but when he arrived, he found he didn't have the same desire to see her as he had before. Spike wanted Buffy to know he had changed but he didn't want her anymore.
His feelings for Willow had grown stronger though; feelings he had always ignored before were forcing their way out now. Willow wasn't here though, she was gone. The watcher had taken her away. The damage she had caused had made his soul, Tara's soul sad. It had made his demon, the part of him that was Spike roar in pleasure. She had caused more damage in what was, apparently, hours than he had in years. That was when he knew whose soul he had, he had found out about Tara's death and knew that was why he couldn't ignore his feelings for the redhead any longer.
They were at her parents house now, she said he needed to be out of the school, the Hellmouth was hurting him, that's why he loved her, he didn't know what he was saying. He tried to explain but she wouldn't listen.
"This room has the heaviest curtains, Spike," Willow explained, "I'll close all the curtains in the house, but be careful if you wander around during the day."
"You're leaving?"
"I have to," she said softly assuring him, "I have some phone calls to make and a few errands but I'll be back before dark okay?"
"I'm not crazy, you know," he sat on the bed and watched her shift nervously, "I love you.we love you."
*****
"We'll talk about it later," Willow said, not wanting to get into this until he had some time to.recover from his time on the Hellmouth. "Right now you need to sleep."
"I'll sleep, but it won't change anything, Red. I tried to make it stop; I tried to cut her out of me. I didn't want to feel these things again, you don't like men. Her soul won't change what I am."
"Spike," Willow said more softly. He was inadvertently answering her questions, but she wanted him sane for this conversation. "I'll be back, okay."
She waited until he had lain down on the bed and closed his eyes before she left the room, pulling the door closed behind her. She quickly went through the house making sure all the curtains were pulled tightly closed. Normally, she would've assumed he would check before walking into a room, but today she wasn't sure. When she finished, she checked her watch. She needed to call Giles soon. She didn't want to wait until later, he would still be home, but if she waited much longer he'd have left for the day. She'd have to make the call here. She reached for the phone sitting on the small table next to the chair in the corner and dialed.
"Hi Giles," she said when she heard his voice on the other end.
"Willow, this is rather late for you isn't it?"
"Yeah, I um, have a question, or well many actually but they may change depending on your answers."
"Alright, is something wrong?"
"Yes," she said then, "No, maybe, I really don't know."
"What is your question then?" Giles asked, becoming concerned. She had left to return home because she was needed. If something had gone horribly wrong this quickly, he wasn't sure she was strong enough to handle it yet.
"If a vampire's soul is restored, is it always the human soul of the person the vampire once was?"
"There is only one, well two now, I suppose, cases of a vampire's soul being returned to them, Willow."
"So you don't know then?" Willow asked.
"No, Angel was confident he had his human soul returned to him but."
"But there's no guarantee that Spike's was his own soul, then?"
"No. Why?"
"I don't want to say, in case I'm wrong," Willow told him, "Is there any way to check, a way to see if it's his soul?"
"I don't know, as I said, this isn't common," Giles pointed out, "I can contact the coven for you, see if they have anything that could help."
"Thank you, Giles, I need to know as soon as possible, okay?" Willow sighed with relief.
"I'll call you back as soon as I learn anything."
"If it's after dark here, I'll probably be at my parents' house."
"Are you sure everything is all right, Willow?" Giles asked again.
"Everything is fine; I just need to check something. I promise if it gets to be too much, I'll call you again."
A few minutes and several more assurances later, she hung up the phone and headed back to Buffy's house. If she didn't want them to know about this yet, she needed to be back before anyone woke for the day.