Pairing: W/S and sort of W/T
Distribution: My site (http://magical_worlds.us/musings/), winter_spillow and my LJ (shannon730)
Disclaimer: They all belong to Joss Whedon, ME, UPN, FOX, WB.
Summary: Willow wants to make sure Tara's soul is in heaven.
Spoilers: Up to early season 7 (around the time Willow returns to Sunnydale)
Author's Notes: This is mostly AU from Grave on. Some parts of Season 7 will have happened (early episodes only) and most of that will be mentioned if it really matters.
And a huge thanks to Gabrielle for beta-ing this for me.
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"He's crazy, Will," Buffy argued. She couldn't believe Willow was falling for Spike's act. "You can't really believe him."
"I don't think he's as crazy as we thought," Willow sighed. She had talked to Giles again this morning and he had good news, but also thought she needed to tell the others before she went any further. "I mean, maybe a little, but he mentioned Tara's soul first. Even for Crazy Spike, it doesn't make sense for him to think that."
"Unless it's true," Anya said quietly. She and Dawn had been sitting on the couch listening to the others discussing the situation. Their input hadn't been wanted, so they didn't offer it, but Buffy was missing the point of what Willow was saying and someone needed to point out the obvious.
"It is not true," Buffy frowned at Anya. "He's just trying to hurt me by proving he's over me by making Willow fall in love with him."
"Well that doesn't sound crazy at all," the vengeance demon pointed out, "It sounds vengeful, and doing it this way is sort of creative but not insane. I've seen crazy vengeance and this isn't it."
"She's right, Buffy," Willow agreed, "If he's crazy, then this has nothing to do with you. Which is it sane and vengeful or crazy?"
"I hate to defend Spike," Xander said, jumping into the discussion. He had tried to stay out of it specifically because he did not want to take the vampire's side in anything nor did he want to side with one of his friends over the other, but. "They're right, Buffy. Crazy people don't plan, not like this."
"Okay," Buffy took a deep breath; trying to will her friends to see this her way, "If he's not crazy and he really does have Tara's soul, what's with the Insane-o in the Basement act?"
Everyone sat quietly looking at each other for several minutes, no one sure how to explain Spike's behavior for the last several weeks. Anya was finally the first to break the silence and offer a reason, "I think he is crazy. He'd have to be."
"Why?" Willow asked, not sure when the demon switched sides.
"Even with Tara's soul, the demon is still there, right?"
"Angel always had to fight his demon," Dawn offered, beginning to see where Anya's reasoning was going.
"Okay, so now Spike, the demon, is sharing a body and mind with a soul," Anya continued, "Not just any soul though, the soul of one of the gentlest people I've ever met. It would make me crazy too."
"And he was living directly on the Hellmouth; that's gotta be good for a little crazy," Dawn added.
"Even if he was lying, Buffy," Xander said when the slayer still looked skeptical, "How do you explain Willow's spell?"
"It wouldn't be the first time one of her spells backfired," Buffy pointed out angrily.
"I think after last spring it's safe to say Willow has moved beyond that," Anya argued.
Willow stood up and faced her friends, "None of this really matters, I believe him. Giles gave me a spell that will allow me to find and speak directly to a soul. Any soul; it can be a soul in someone or a dead soul."
"Are you sure you.?" Xander protested. He wasn't against finding out the truth. He was against his friend endangering herself or anyone else again though.
"No, I'm not sure at all," Willow agreed, "That's why I told you all this, I need help, someone to anchor me and pull me back if I need it."
"I'll do whatever you need," Xander offered.
"Me too," Dawn said.
"Thanks guys, but I was hoping Anya."
"Why?" Buffy asked, "She's a demon, you can't."
"Because someone with at least minimal magical power is the safest option, "Dawn has some power, but it's dangerous because I can drain her power if. Anya could stop me before it got that far."
"I'll help," Anya agreed, "When?"
"Tomorrow night."
******
Spike paced the dark bedroom. He hadn't turned on the light, he didn't want to hear her. Not today. Her voice was always in his head, talking to him. It hadn't been bad before, but then Willow had found him in the basement, brought him here. She wanted him to make Willow believe she was in him. Wanted Willow to know she was okay. He had tried to tell Willow but she thought he was crazy, thought he was hearing voices that weren't there.
You have to make her understand.
"Don't you think I know that?" Spike whispered. The darkness hadn't kept her away. "I've told her, you know that."
Tell her again, she won't heal until she knows I'm safe.
"She doesn't want to believe me."
Because you keep telling her you love her, Spike. It's frightening her.
"I do love her," he insisted. "You're inside of me, you know how I feel."
I do, but she won't believe you until she makes peace with my death. Let her accept that you have my soul.
"It's useless anyway," he sank to the floor, resting his head on his knees as he spoke, "She'll never love me, they never do."
She will, just give her time to accept everything. She'll need someone who understands the darkness too.
"I don't know how to make her understand."
I'll take care of it when she does the spell she told you about. She's going to find me, my soul, and your soul, William's soul, to make sure the other spell worked. I'll explain it all. Just don't scare her away before then okay?
"They'll never believe I'm not crazy," Spike moaned to the empty room as her voice faded away, "I'm talking to a dead witch, I would think I'm crazy."