Pairing: W/S and sort of W/T
Distribution: My site (http://magical_worlds.us/musings/), winter_spillow and my LJ (shannon730)
Disclaimer: They all belong to Joss Whedon, ME, UPN, FOX, WB.
Summary: Willow wants to make sure Tara's soul is in heaven.
Spoilers: Up to early season 7 (around the time Willow returns to Sunnydale)
Author's Notes: This is mostly AU from Grave on. Some parts of Season 7 will have happened (early episodes only) and most of that will be mentioned if it really matters.
And a huge thanks to Gabrielle for beta-ing this for me.
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Willow paced the room; she wanted answers, or at least she thought she did. She wasn't sure the spell would solve that though, in many ways it was simply going to create more questions. She didn't know what she would do with any of the answers the spell would give her. It would give her a last chance to talk to Tara, to say good-bye. But other than that, it would just open up more problems. If Spike had Tara's soul, was that why he thought he loved her? Could Tara's soul survive with Spike's demon? Was Spike talking to Tara as he claimed? Could she love Spike because he had Tara's soul now? Was that even fair to the vampire? What if he didn't have Tara's soul? If he was wrong; if her spell had been wrong? Did that mean he did truly love her? Or was he insane as Buffy thought? Too many questions and not enough answers.
"Why are you making this so difficult? Anya asked, as Willow sat next to her on the couch with a sigh.
"It is difficult," Willow responded. She was once again questioning if using the vengeance demon to make sure nothing went wrong was the best idea. Would Anya even recognize a problem before it was too late?
"No, it's not," Anya said, turning to face her, "If Spike has Tara's soul, you get to keep Tara. She won't be gone."
"But she's inside Spike, and I don't love him."
"Can you?"
"No, of course not!"
"Why not?" Anya asked, "You did before you met Tara."
"I did..." Willow frowned at her, "Alright, maybe I had a crush on him back when he was first chipped but...gay now."
"Okay, you can't love him," Anya agreed, "Just tell him that."
"What will it do to him though?" Willow asked.
"He'll accept it, just be honest."
"Are you sure?" Willow asked, "He's not really the picture of sanity at the moment. He's talking to people we can't see."
*****
"Bloody hell," Spike mumbled. He was sitting on the steps listening to the two women talk in the next room, "She thinks I'm hearing voices."
You are.
"Only because you won't shut up."
I'm only trying to help you.
"By making her think I'm mad?" Spike whispered.
You're doing that. Just listen to me, do what I say and I'll take care of it. We both want this.
"You heard her, she's gay. Got the wrong equipment, Luv."
Let me take care of it.
"I just need her to understand..."
Don't say anything, Spike. I'll talk to her when she does the spell, then she'll understand. If you keep insisting on.
"Spike, are you ready to do the spell?" Willow asked, interrupting his internal argument.
"Right, Red," Spike stood up and started to follow her as whatever Tara had been ready to say faded away. "I'm not crazy, I really do..."
SPIKE!
*****
Willow frowned when Spike stopped walking and grabbed his head, closing his eyes, yelling, "Just let me tell her."
"Spike are you okay?" Willow asked, reaching for him as he jerked away and turned his back to her.
Willow dropped her hand to her side and watched as the vampire paced and listened to something only he could hear, whispering angrily in response to whatever it was, before turning his attention back to her. "Sorry, what do you need me to do?"
"Are you sure you're okay?" Willow asked. She didn't want to do this if it was going to upset him. He had been doing that less often the past few days, but it was still happening and she was concerned that there was more wrong than just a soul.
"I'm fine."
"Okay, then you don't really have to do anything," Willow explained, leading him into the living room where Anya was preparing the spell, "Just sit here and don't leave the circle. Your being here isn't really necessary but it will make it easier. Once we start, if you leave the circle you'll break the magic."
"Right," Spike managed a small smile, "Sit here and be quiet."
"Well, yeah," Willow agreed as the three of them took their seats and she began the spell.
*****
This is it, Spike. She'll find me now and I can explain everything. Just don't do anything to mess up her concentration, okay?
Spike frowned, but he didn't answer; he wanted this to work and both witches had said it was important for him to remain quiet. Willow was chanting something he couldn't make out. Anya was sitting just outside the circle watching Willow closely. They had explained that she was here to make sure nothing happened during the spell.
Its working, I can feel her power now.
Spike smiled slightly at Tara's announcement whispered in his head. He knew it was working, he could feel Willow's power radiating throughout the room. Her power had always been strong, even when she didn't know she had it. He would never understand how Giles and Buffy hadn't seen it until last year. Willow's chanting had faded away. The spell must be working, Tara had stopped talking too. He glanced at Anya who still had her eyes on Willow.
"Is the spell working?" She whispered, "Can you feel her?"
"It's working," he said just as quietly.
"Tell me if you feel anything...not right."
He nodded and closed his eyes, not wanting to risk further conversation ending the spell too soon.