Notes: Once again, I’ve decided to answer my own challenge. I really have to stop doing that. There will be elements from the 3rd & 4th season but it’ll go AU from there. Spike *doesn’t* have the chip but he is helping the Scooby Gang. Why? Well, read the fic to find out. Lover’s Walk happened but with a twist. Angel is in LA with Cordelia. This is post-Doyle but pre-Wesley. Confusing, I know.
Spoilers: Up to the 4th season of BtVS and mid-1st season of Ats.
Disclaimer: I own nothing. Joss & Company owns all. Evanescence owns 'Whisper'
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Catch me as I fall
Say you're here and it's all over now
Speaking to the atmosphere
No one's here and I fall into myself
This truth drive me
Into madness
I know I can stop the pain
If I will it all away
Don't turn away
(Don't give in to the pain)
Don't try to hide
(Though they're screaming your name)
Don't close your eyes
(God knows what lies behind them)
Don't turn out the light
(Never sleep never die)
I'm frightened by what I see
But somehow I know
That there's much more to come
Immobilized by my fear
And soon to be
Blinded by tears
I can stop the pain
If I will it all away
Fallen angels at my feet
Whispered voices at my ear
Death before my eyes
Lying next to me I fear
She beckons me
Shall I give in
Upon my end shall I begin
Forsaking all I've fallen for
I rise to meet my end
~^~**~^~
Cramp. She had a cramp in her leg and the pain of it woke her up.
Her eyes shot open as she realized how much physical pain she was in. Everywhere on her body, she felt pain. Her muscles ached with soreness. She reached behind her head and felt a bump, like someone had hit her over the head. What happened? Why? She racked her brain but couldn’t find any answer. She sat up in her seat and found that she was on a charter bus. There was a piece of paper clutched in her hand. She looked down at the crumpled piece of paper in confusion. Something was scribbled on it, something that looked like it was in another language that she didn’t understand. Looking down, she saw that there was nothing by her feet. Nothing, no belongings whatsoever.
She looked up and wrapped her arms around herself, feeling the cool air conditioning blow down on her. Where was she going? How did she get here? She shook her head again and leaned back against the seat. Why couldn’t she remember anything? She glanced at the person next to her, a man in his late 20s and cleared her throat, “Do I know you?”
He raised an eyebrow, “No, I don’t believe you do.”
British accent. Her eyes became clearer, was she in Britain? Was she born there? Maybe she was visiting her family. A thought struck her, she didn’t know who her family was. She didn’t have any recollection of her past. She didn’t know anything. She didn’t know who her friends were, she didn’t know where she went to high school. She didn’t know if she even went to high school. She didn’t know how old she was.
She gasped. She didn’t even know her name. The redhead swallowed the lump in her throat, feeling the stinging tears in her eyes, “Oh, god, I have amnesia.”
The man next to her faced her, “Something wrong?”
She shook her head slowly, still in shock. Finally after a few silent moments, she blinked back the tears and asked quietly, “Where are we going?”
“Los Angeles.”
“Where did this bus pick us up?”
“I got on in San Diego and you were already sitting here, sleeping.”
She felt a chill go down her spine at the new knowledge. She didn’t even know where she came from. She sat still and looked straight ahead, a blank look on her face.
“I’m Eric by the way.” He reached out his hand, waiting for her to shake it.
She lifted a trembling hand to his and shook it lightly. What was she supposed to say? She didn’t remember her name. Or anything else about herself. “I-I-I don’t know who I am.”
“What?”
“I don’t remember anything.”
“Do you know what state we’re in?”
“California,” she replied automatically, “I know all the basic information. All the presidents’ names, the state capitals, all of that but I don’t know my name.” She looked down sadly and grabbed a magazine that was sitting on the floor. She flipped through the pages quickly, “I can read.” She looked up at him, “Do you have a pen?”
He reached into his shirt pocket and handed her the pen. She uncapped it and wrote the beginning letters of the alphabet, “I can write. I can add, subtract, multiply. I can do it all but I don’t remember my name,” her voice grew louder and more hysterical, “I don’t remember my past. I don’t remember anything about myself. I have amnesia.” She gripped the sides of the chair tightly, the goosebumps rising on her arms, “Oh god.”
Eric patted her arm gently, “It’s alright, miss, you’ll be okay. I’m sure it’ll come to you soon enough.”
“What if it doesn’t?”
“It will,” he nodded surely.
“What am I supposed to do until then? I have nowhere to live. I have no money.” She reached into her pockets, “Scratch that. I have $20. I don’t know why I’m going to Los Angeles. I don’t know anything.”
“I’m staying with a friend of mine in LA, I’m sure she won’t mind the extra company.”
She shook her head numbly, “I couldn’t. This is my problem, not yours. I don’t intend on making this your burden too.”
“I insist. I could never leave a pretty lady like you alone when you need the help.”
She looked down as her mind ran over all the consequences. She didn’t know him. He could very well be a murderer or a rapist. Well, at least she knew that she was cautious. But, right now, it wasn’t as if she had any other choice. She nodded thankfully, “Okay. I really appreciate this.”
“It’s not a problem.” He cocked his head to the side, “What am I going to call you? Unless you want me to keep calling you miss.”
She lifted her hand to her head as a name flashed through her mind. She suddenly blurted out, “Alexander Harris.”
Eric looked at her skeptically, “Isn’t that more of a guy’s name?”
Her throat was dry as her eyes began to tear up again, “That’s all I remember."
“At least it’s coming back to you. See, I told you. I guess I stick with calling you Alex Harris then.”
She leaned her head against the window, watching the passing scenery with watery eyes, silently hoping that she could remember something else soon. She tapped her fingers against the arm of her seat, Alexander Harris. The name was just that, a name. Nothing else. She had no reaction to the name and no other memories came forth. But, at least it was something.
It was a start.
~Part: 2~
The newly named Alex stepped off the bus with a heavy sigh. So, this was Los Angeles. There was something utterly familiar yet foreign about the city. What it was, though, she couldn’t place. It was surprising; she hadn’t gotten any more of her memories back. Nothing except Alexander Harris. But, that wouldn’t help much. For all she knew, there could be 500 Alexander Harris’ in the world. She didn’t even know if the name was the name of a celebrity, a friend, a family member, an enemy. She didn’t know anything. All she knew was that it was a name, the only name that she remembered. Maybe this name was important to her in the past or maybe it wasn’t.
She shook her confusing thoughts away as she followed Eric out of the station and onto the sidewalk. She stopped when he stopped and saw that he was looking for someone. Probably that girl that he was talking about earlier. “Do you see her?”
Eric kept quiet for a moment before speaking up, “Oh, there she is.” He pointed at the silver Camry coming their way. As the car pulled up, Alex felt the nervousness rise in her for some reason. There were many reasons for it. She had amnesia and she was placing her trust in a man and soon a woman that she had never met before and had no knowledge of previously. She was desperate and alone.
She had no other choice.
A slender brunette of about 25 stepped out of the car and walked up to Eric, kissing him on the cheek, “You’re here!” She gave Alex a look before raising an eyebrow, “And you brought a friend.” She squeezed Eric’s arm, “Something you want to tell me?”
“Allyson, this is Alex, I met her on the bus. Alex, this is Allyson.”
Alex reached out her hand and smiled as friendly as she could, “Hi. I’m sorry for intruding but I have nowhere else to go. Eric mentioned that I could stay with you. If that’s going to be a problem I can always find somewhere else.” She babbled before biting her lip in anticipation.
Allyson smiled at her when she realized that Eric hadn’t found someone else. Good, the man belonged with her. She just had to make him realize it. “It’s no problem. Any friend of Eric’s is a friend of mine. I’ve got plenty of space anyway.”
Alex bit back her reply of the fact that she really wasn’t friends with him. In fact, she didn’t even know him that well. She had a feeling that if she revealed this to Allyson, the brunette wouldn’t be as welcoming as she was as of now. Instead, she opted for giving her another smile and opening the car door.
“Hey, don’t you have any luggage?” Allyson questioned as she threw Eric’s backpack into the trunk.
Alex looked down and clasped her hands together, not knowing how to answer her. Eric saw the uncomfortable posture that she was obviously in and came to her rescue, “She’s here for an all new start. Which means new clothes, new shoes, and just new belongings altogether.”
Allyson still looked skeptical, “So, you’re going for a whole new fresh start, then?” She shrugged, “Well, this is the place, if you’ve got the cash. Things in LA are on the pricey side.”
Alex got into the car and relaxed into the backseat, grateful that there was so much space, “Do you know anywhere that I can find work?”
“Well, that depends on what you’re good at,” Allyson replied as she started the car and switched lanes.
Alex stared at the passing scenery, not really knowing how to answer her question. She stammered, “I-I really don’t know.”
Allyson glanced at her in the rearview mirror with an odd look, “How can you not know? What, do you have amnesia or something?”
Eric cleared his throat and started, “Well.”
Allyson’s mouth dropped open, “Oh, god, you have amnesia? I’m so sorry, I didn’t actually know.”
“It’s not for sure yet, I mean, random things are coming back to her,” he offered.
“Random *thing*,” Alex stressed, “One thing to be exact.”
“It’s a start,” Allyson gave her a small smile and Alex returned it.
“Yeah, I guess it is.”
“Well, I know a small diner by my place that’s looking for a new waitress. I know it’s not the best of jobs but I heard that the pay’s alright and hey, maybe in time you’ll figure some things out.”
“Thanks for being so nice about all this,” Alex smiled softly, “I don’t even know why you’re helping me.”
“Yeah, I don’t know either. Ally isn’t usually so helpful.”
“Bite me, Eric.”
“Rowr, looks like we grew some claws while I was away.”
Allyson shrugged before returning her attentions back to Alex, “I like you. I always help out the people I like.”
The redhead smiled again before leaning back and looking out the window. For the first time since she woke up, the sense of loss and confusion lessened.
~^~**~^~
“Well, here’s home,” Allyson dropped Eric’s backpack onto the ground and threw the keys on the table.
“Watch it, Ally, I’ve got some valuables in there.”
She rolled her eyes before walking into the living room and pointing at the door to the right, “Okay, here’s the guest room. I’ve got it all tidied up and it was gonna be for Eric but he can sleep on the couch.”
Eric shot her a mock glare before dragging his suitcase in by the couch and plopping himself down onto it, “Did you finally get cable, Al?”
Alex walked into the room that Allyson had pointed out, leaning against the doorframe, still reeling from everything that had happened. At first, when she first awoke and realized the state that she was in, she didn’t know what she was supposed to do. But, here were two people that were helping her for no reason whatsoever. They were being so incredibly kind, offering her a place to stay, offering her friendship, offering her a job and they were getting nothing back in return. The question was why they were doing it. She obviously had no idea and she doubted they did either, but she wasn’t about to question her luck. She walked further in and sat on the bed, bouncing on it slightly.
Allyson walked into the room and sat down onto the chair next to the table. “How you holding up?”
“Fine,” she replied quietly, “I still don’t remember anything else.”
“I’m sorry.”
“Don’t be, you’ve been so nice to me and I just,” she paused, “Really, thank you so much.”
Allyson grinned and leaned back, “You know, I don’t know who the hell you are. I’ve only known you for about an hour but for some odd reason, I trust you. Probably extremely idiotic of me but I do.” She put her elbows on her knees, “So just promise me you won’t go all skitzo on me and it’ll all be good.”
Alex smiled and nodded at her, “I promise.” There was something so familiar about Allyson. Something about her attitude and personality that reminded her of something. Again, something she couldn’t place. She held a hand to her head as a few random images along with a conversation flashed through her mind. ~Why don’t we start with, ‘Hi, I’m Buffy,’ and, uh, then let’s segue directly into me asking you for a favor. It doesn’t involve moving, but it does involve hanging out with me for awhile.~ She saw a medium height blonde sitting next to her with a big smile on her face. There it was, that familiar feeling again. Alex blinked a few times and dropped her hand to the bed. Who was she, this Buffy who Allyson reminded her of? She shook her head confused as she ran the name ‘Buffy’ through her mind but coming up with nothing except what she looked like and the sound of her voice.
“Are you okay?”
Alex looked up at her and sighed, “I think I just remembered something else.”
“Well, that’s definitely good. I’m surprised this is all coming back to you so soon.”
“Yeah,” she replied, distracted, “It’s just chunks though. Random things that mean nothing else to me.”
“But, at this rate a whole lot of other stuff might come back to you which is always a plus.”
“Uh huh,” Alex stood up and wiped her hands on her jeans, “Do you mind if I just sleep for awhile?”
Allyson nodded and backed out the door, “No prob, I’ll tell Eric to keep it down.”
She smiled and turned around, hearing the small click as the door shut. The redhead pulled back the covers and kicked off her shoes. Crawling into bed, she turned off the light and gradually drifted off into sleep.
~^~**~^~
The fear flowed through her like a continuous wave, never ending, the beginning and end, blending together and fading off into the background. She felt herself back away slowly, holding her hands out in front of her, making some sort of protest though she couldn’t hear her own voice. All she could her, see, and feel was him. The bleached blonde man stood in front of her, his smile, his stare, everything about him was calling to her. But, there was something wrong about him, something forbidden, something utterly dark and yet appealing at the same time. She wasn’t supposed to touch him and yet, she found herself doing so anyway. He pulled her in for a rough kiss and she melted into him, every being in her mind screaming that this was wrong and yet all the molecules of her body were saying otherwise. This felt right yet deliciously wrong at the same time.
Alex’s eyes snapped open it all abruptly ended. Oh, god, what the hell had that been? Was it just some twisted fantasy or something that actually happened to her? She settled for the latter. It was all too real and vivid. All too familiar. There was something about that man, something that was just different in a frightening but good way. Was he Alexander Harris? Maybe, probably. After all, why else would that name and him stick out amongst everything else that she remembered, which to be honest, wasn’t much. So, she had a name and she had a face.
The question was, what was she going to do about it?
~Part: 3~
Willow was still a bit shaken when she walked out of the bathroom and into the living room. She was still trying to piece everything together but she couldn’t get *him*, this Alexander Harris, out of her head. His touch, the look in his deep blue eyes but most of all, just him. There was something off about him. Something that wasn’t right but it still called to her. Her head snapped up when she realized that Allyson was talking to her.
The brunette looked at her oddly before shrugging, “So, chickie, how’d you sleep?”
“Pretty well,” Alex answered before gulping, “Thanks for all the bathroom stuff.”
“Oh, no prob, like I said, I was well prepared before. Eric manages to forget just about everything so I made sure to buy extras.”
Alex looked down and couldn’t help but feel that she didn’t deserve all this. She shook her thoughts away and grabbed a piece of toast from the large plate in the middle of the table, “Where is Eric anyway?”
“He’s out buying clothes for his new job. He gets to be all fancy now.”
“Fancy?”
“The guy’s a lawyer, though you really can’t tell, I know. This huge company,” she looked up thoughtfully, “I think its name is Wolfram & Hart or something like that. They just hired him and they gave him this enormous paycheck to buy whatever he needed, before he even started working!”
Alex coughed in surprise, “Wow. How much?”
Allyson sighed, “A lot more then he needs, I’ll tell you that much.”
“Talking about me again, Ally?” Eric smirked as he leaned against the
doorframe to the front door. His arms were crossed and he was dressed in
a simple pair of jeans and shirt.
“Thought you went shopping, soon-to-be pretty boy,” Allyson teased.
“Well, I was going to but then I realized that this ‘enormous paycheck’
*was* a lot more then I needed and so I came back to bring you two along
with.”
“Why exactly?”
“Aww, come on, luv, give me a little credit here. You don’t want to
come shopping with me? The check’s more then enough to buy us all some
pretty new things.”
Alex gripped the side of the table, the flashes in her head blurring
out Allyson’s reply. A scene flashed before her eyes, involving her and
the same blonde man. The scene was the same as the one she had a dream
about the night before, except this time, there were voices and sounds.
“Why are you doing this?” Alex watched as the blonde man approached
her while she backed away slowly.
He grabbed her face roughly and kissed her hard, “Because I love you.”
Everything began to shift and blend, the colorings all mixing into one.
Black. The next thing she saw was the face of a monster. A yellow eyed
monster with ridges on its forehead. Long, dark brown hair caressed her
face and the black flowing dress clung to her toned body. But her face…
The blonde man, Alexander, was there again, in front of her and protecting
her. His voice was calm and cold, “Don’t do this, Dru.”
“But, I have to, lovey, the stars screamed for me to do this.” The monster
cocked her head to the side, “Will she scream as well?”
She watched as he lunged towards the monster that he called Dru. The
monster tumbled back and Alex watched as the two began to attack each other.
She watched as the “her” in the flashback gasped and the blonde man whipped
around. Except, this time, his face wasn’t the attractive one that he held
before. It was the same as the monster.
Alex’s eyes snapped open and she drew in a large breath, “Oh, god.”
Allyson rushed to her side quickly, her eyes showing care, “You okay?”
She panted for a few moments before replying shakily, “I just, I saw
something else.”
“What was it?”
“I-I don’t know.”
~^~**~^~
Allyson and Eric had been more than worried after Alex admitted that she had another flashback and what was in the flashback. It didn’t seem logical or rational. It just simply didn’t make any sense. Monsters with yellow eyes and ridges at some times while at others they had human visages? No, it just didn’t connect. But, Alex was adamant about believing what she saw. It was real. Too real. Too familiar. She felt how the dream “her” felt and the “her” in the dream wasn’t surprised at the face of the monster. She wasn’t at all afraid in the dream. But, now, she was. Because of that fear, Allyson and Eric promptly dragged her out of the apartment and into the mall. Allyson had decidedly stated that shopping cured everything. Sadness, anger, frustration, fear, you name it, it’ll get rid of it.
Alex drifted from store to store, never really picking anything out or trying anything on, letting Allyson and Eric do most of the shopping. The face, she just couldn’t get it out of her head. She knew that this Alexander Harris meant something to her and that she obviously meant something to him. He loved her. But his face. He was a monster. How could monsters love? And that woman, no, she wasn’t a woman. She was something else. Something so frightening that Alex couldn’t even put it into words. This woman, she was obviously insane. She talked about stars and screaming. Alex’s head snapped up as she remembered something. This woman, this Dru, she wanted to make her scream. And she was guessing that it wasn’t in a good way.
Alex swallowed hard and looked up, the fear obvious in her eyes. Allyson was coming towards her, holding up a pair of jeans and a top.
“Alright, I picked this out for you. I think a small and a 2 should be okay, right?”
She nodded numbly and walked to the dressing room. She didn’t even realize she was shaking until she got into the room and looked in the mirror. Alex looked at her green eyes, tinted with terror. She lifted a trembling hand and traced the outline of her face. This was all in the past. A past that she didn’t want to remember anymore. A past that she didn’t want to deal with. Her future was already set, she had Allyson and Eric. That was enough.
She looked up at herself and nodded firmly, it was enough. Her past was her past. Her present and future was here in LA.
What she didn’t realize was that the past would always come back to haunt you.
~Part: 4~
Alex wiped the diner table clean for the 27th time that day. It was her first day on the job and she was physically tired but still, she kept on her friendly smile. It was nearing 9:00 and her shift would be over soon and Allyson would come to pick her up. They had made plans earlier that day. Allyson was to come and walk home with her. The diner was near the apartment but Alex didn’t want to walk home alone. The real reason why was because of the nightmare that her mind had still played over and over in her mind. She had told Allyson and Eric that it was because she was insecure about being alone at night in the city, which was true in itself, but it wasn’t the whole truth. She hadn’t had any new flashbacks since the one dream she had the week before but the faces, the voices, they still haunted her. At night, she could think and see nothing but the faces, hear nothing but the voices. It was slowly driving her near insanity.
Her head snapped up and a smile slipped onto her face when she saw Allyson walk through the doors, giving her a tinkle wave. Alex nodded and grinned before mouthing the words, ‘I’ll be right there.’ She walked into the back and stamped out before grabbing her jacket and walking up to Allyson, “Hey!”
Allyson gave her a quick hug, “So, how was your first day?”
She laughed lightly before walking out the door, “Tiring but interesting. You won’t believe some of the stuff I hear in there.”
The brunette raised an eyebrow, “Oh, you’ve heard some juicy stuff already? Tell, tell, tell.”
“Someone’s a bit nosy.”
“I’ve got to get my ya-yas somehow.” Ally sighed and looked at her expectantly.
Alex grinned and clasped her hands together, “Well, there was this one couple-“
Her story was cut short as something jumped in front of the two, growling. Alex looked up at it, her jaw dropping in shock and disbelief. It was another one of those monsters. Yellow eyes, ridges, all of the traits were there. She latched onto Allyson’s hand and backed away slowly, “Get away from us.”
The vampire smirked at them through his fangs, “Two tasty treats, wow, lucky, lucky.”
“Not so lucky,” a voice said calmly. A man with dark brown hair, spiked up and beautiful chocolate eyes stepped out of the shadows. He was dressed in all black, an extreme contrast to his pale skin.
The vampire whipped his head around and growled, “Get your own meal. They’re mine.”
“I don’t think so,” The man kept his eyes on the vampire, never sparing a look at Alex or Allyson.
The vampire lunged at him and he quickly sidestepped the attack, staking the vampire in the back. He shook his head, disappointed, “Wasn’t even a fight.” He finally looked up at a trembling Allyson who was blocking his view of Alex who was leaning against the wall, her mind trying to convince itself that she didn’t see what she just saw.
“Are you okay?”
Allyson looked up at him and gulped, “What was that?” She continued to shake, “Who are you?”
“My name is Angel.”
Alex grabbed the side of her head as another flashback ripped through her mind. Oh, god, not now. She was sitting at her desk and the man, this Angel was standing by her bed, they were in the middle of a conversation.
“Uh, Angel? If I say something you really don't wanna hear, do you promise not to bite me?”
“Are you gonna tell me that I’m jealous?”
“Well, you do get that way sometimes.”
“You know, I never used to. Things used to be pretty simple. A hundred years, just hanging out, feelin' guilty, I really honed my brooding skills. Then she comes along. Yeah, I get jealous.”
Everything shifted again and this time, she was standing in the middle of a darkened hallway. Angel was a few feet away from her. A voice broke through the haze.
“Get away from him!”
She turned around and faced the woman. She was pretty, about 30 and she was holding a cross. Alex heard herself reply, “What?”
“Walk to me.”
“What are you talking about? It’s Ang-” Her sentence was cut off by Angel grabbing her and wrapping his hand around her neck. She felt the breath go out of her lungs as she struggled against him. A few more words were passed between all the occupants of the hallway but all she could feel at that moment was fear.
Alex’s eyes snapped open and she shook her head before looking up at the man that Allyson was talking to. It was the same man, same exact man and he was talking to one of the only friends that she had in her new life. Alex quickly walked up to Allyson and pulled her away from him. She looked up at him and growled, “Get away from her.”
Confusion and shock passed through Angel’s eyes, “Willow?”A smile immediately appeared on his face and he moved forward with the intention to hug her, "It is you."
Alex was so focused on her intention of saving herself and Allyson from this man that she never even heard him speak, “Get away from us. I don’t know what you want from us but just *go* *away*!”
Allyson looked at her oddly, “What are you talking about, Alex? He saved us. His name is Angel,” she smiled at him, “If it wasn’t for him, we’d be dead.”
She shook her head quickly, “He’ll kill us. He pretends to be your friend and then he’ll turn on you.” She gave Allyson a hard look, “I saw him. I had another flashback and he was there. He tried to kill me.”
Angel’s brow furrowed and he shook his head, “We’ve been looking for you for over a month, Willow. Ever since Drusilla.”
Alex looked up when he said the name. The name of the monster, “Drusilla, as in Dru?”
“Yeah,” he replied slowly, not knowing how that was of any importance.
“You know *her*.”
“Of course, I know her.”
She pulled Allyson’s body back hard, “We have to get away from him. He knows *her*. He knows the monster. Drusilla, she’s a monster, just like the one that was here a few minutes ago.”
“What are you talking about, Willow?”
“Why do you keep calling me that?” Alex demanded.
“Because it’s your name.”
“No,” Alex shook her head furiously, “My name is Alex Harris and I live in Los Angeles, California. I do *not* know any monsters such as Drusilla and that blue eyed creature. I don’t know *any* of it. Get away from me.” She spat, “Get out of my life. Just leave me alone.”
“Alex Harris?” Angel questioned, “That’s Xander’s name. You’re Willow Rosenberg. You live in Sunnydale, California. Your friends have been worried sick about you, Willow.”
A hysterical laugh slipped from her lips, “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”
Angel looked at Allyson with a questioning eye, “Can you help me out here?”
Allyson sighed before replying, “She has amnesia. She remembers random things, usually triggered by something that we say or we do that reminds her of the past. She had a nightmare about a week back about these two specific monsters, like the one that you saved us from. One of them was named Dru and the other had blue eyes and blonde hair. She thinks his name is Alexander Harris.”
Willow had blocked out their conversation out of her mind. She stumbled back against the wall, tears spilling from her eyes as the confusion and fear mixed together in her mind.
Angel watched as Willow crouched in fear from him. She must’ve remembered something from when he was Angelus. He had tried to kill her multiple times back then. No wonder she was so scared. He reached out his hand and visibly flinched when she backed away further, as if she wanted to melt into the wall.
“D-Don’t touch me.”
Allyson shook her head and pushed him away gently, “Look, I’m gonna get her back to the apartment. Why don’t you come with and once we get her calmed down, we can talk.”
Angel nodded solemnly and watched as Allyson raised Willow to her feet. She put her arms around the shaking redhead and nodded towards the building ahead of them.
~Part: 5~
Angel walked behind the two girls, silent and brooding. Willow was so scared of him. The fear was obvious in her eyes and it was because she was *scared*. Scared of him. Scared of him, Angel, the vampire with a soul. He let out an unneeded sigh. He knew that he and Willow were never particularly close but he still cared about the redhead. He had only heard bits and pieces from Sunnydale after she disappeared. Nobody even bothered to inform him that anything had gone wrong until *after* Willow disappeared.
The Scoobies and Spike had been searching for her nonstop since she disappeared but obviously to no avail. He was more than surprised when he heard that Spike had been willing to help. It didn't seem at all like the vampire that he knew before to help without any personal gain. He looked up and saw the trembling redhead wrapped in Allyson's arms, so, maybe there was a gain. When the Scoobies mentioned a ‘relationship’ he was more then surprised. This was Spike. Spike as in William the Bloody. The killer of hundreds, one who spilt blood for enjoyment. Willow, who before, he thought of as the innocent one of the group had a ‘relationship’ with Spike. That surprised him more then anything. Spike was an enigma. You could never predict what he would do next. One moment, he could be a soulless killer and the next a loving and caring companion. Considering how Willow was still alive and that Spike was actually searching for her, Angel concluded that Spike didn’t cause her any harm and that she went into this relationship willingly. But, then again, this was all guessing and prediction. When Angel questioned the group further on the subject, they refused to answer him. Why were they being so tight-lipped about everything?
And exactly *how* strong of a relationship did she have with Spike? She said before that in her visions she saw a blue-eyed monster. Angel was assuming that she meant Spike. If she cared about Spike, why would she refer to him as a monster? Unless, the memories of Spike were of when he let his demon come forth. Things were starting to piece together but there were still so many holes in the picture.
The Sunnydale crew had told him almost nothing when they asked him for help. All they requested was that he help find Willow if he could and really nothing else. What exactly was it that they had to hide? He knew something happened between Drusilla, Spike, and Willow but he still didn’t know *what*. And of course, when he asked them for details, they wouldn’t tell him. He respected them for that because he and Buffy had already promised each other that they wouldn’t intrude into each other’s lives. But, seeing Willow for himself and how serious the situation actually was, Angel knew that now, he had no choice but to intrude.
~^~**~^~
As soon as Allyson opened the door, Eric jumped off his seat and rushed up to her, "Where the hell were you guys? You're an hour late."
Allyson shook her head and nodded at Willow. The redhead in her arms was still shaking, the color completely drained out of her face.
He mouthed, "What happened?"
Allyson looked back at Angel who was standing at the doorway, his hands in his pockets, "I, um, I need you to invite me in."
Eric shot Allyson a confused look, "Who's he?"
"I'll explain everything later, I promise. Just go into my bedroom," she turned around and gave him a desperate look, "Please."
Without another question, he nodded and headed towards the bedroom, closing the door silently.
Allyson led Willow to the couch and sat her down gently before giving her one last squeeze. The brunette got off the couch and walked up to Angel, her arms crossed, "Why?"
"Why what?"
"Why do I need to invite you in?"
"It's a vampire thing."
"So, she was right," Allyson said, her voice hard, "You are a monster. Just like them."
"No, no," Angel quickly replied, "I'm not. I," he paused, "It's a complicated situation."
"Well, explain it to me then. I have the time and until I'm satisfied that you're not going to be a threat to me, Eric, and Alex, I'm not letting you in."
Angel looked down sadly, "Her name is Willow."
"Do you even know her anymore?" She asked incredulously, "This girl has been going through hell for the past week. Look at her," she demanded before pointing at the redhead sitting on the couch, "She's a complete wreck and why? Because of her past and all the painful things that she remembers. I don't plan to just throw her back into whatever the hell she experienced before."
"She belongs in Sunnydale."
"That's not your choice. She belongs where she feels comfortable and safe," Allyson spat, her eyes angry, "Obviously that's not in this," she said depreciatingly, "Sunnydale."
Angel forced out a sigh and concentrated on calming his nerves. Allyson had good reason to be defensive, he knew. But, the girl didn't know the whole story. She knew just a fragment of it. How the hell was he supposed to explain it all to her? He began quietly, "What I'm about to tell you is far from logical. It won't make any sense. I doubt you'll believe me but you wanted the truth, I'll give it to you."
"Fine," she replied shortly.
"In every generation, there is a Slayer. She fights the forces of darkness to protect the innocents."
"And let me guess, Willow is this Slayer?"
"No," Angel replied, "Her best friend Buffy is."
"Buffy," Allyson repeated quietly, "She had a dream about Buffy."
"We'll talk about that later," he said, suppressing his curiosity as to *what* Willow had remembered about Buffy and continued on, "Willow and a few others helped out Buffy in her fight against evil. I was one of the few others. I'm a vampire and as a vampire, I was created to kill. I killed to live and I killed for the pleasure of it. But, not anymore."
"And why is that exactly?"
"I have a soul."
She snorted, "So, what, having a soul automatically makes you good?" Allyson shook her head, "Please, save it."
"It doesn't. I know what you mean but getting my soul back changed me. I felt the guilt of every single death that I caused over all my years. And I wanted to atone so I began to help Buffy."
Allyson raised an eyebrow, "Okay, let's say that I believe all the crap that you just said about your soul and what not. Why is it that Willow remembers that you tried to kill her?"
"The soul is a curse. I was cursed by Romanian gypsies with eternal guilt but they put a clause in the curse. If I experienced one moment of true happiness, the soul would leave. When that happened, a few years ago, I became what I was before." He said quietly, "A monster."
She softened her countenance, feeling the waves of guilt pouring off the vampire, "Alright, what happened next?"
"Willow fixed it all. She gave me back my soul."
"How?"
"With the curse."
"What?"
"Willow is a witch, well, a practicing one at least. She has magical powers and she's very strong. She was still training the last time I checked."
"Oh," Allyson nodded again, trying to let everything sink in. A week ago, her biggest problem was finding the perfect top to match her new jeans and now, it was trying to figure out one of her closest friend's past, which involved Slayers, witches, vampires, and the forces of darkness. All that good stuff. "This, um," she joked, "Really puts everything in perspective."
"I know this is all hard to believe."
"Yeah," She ran her hand through her hair, "It is. But for some messed up reason, I believe you." She backed away slowly, "Come in."
Angel was a bit surprised at her sudden invitation but quickly stepped through the doorway with a small smile, "Thanks."
She shut the door quietly, "I have a feeling that this conversation is nowhere near over." Allyson looked back at Willow with sad eyes. The redhead was still shaking. God, she'd completely broken down. She looked up at Angel with pleading eyes, "I need to take care of her. She needs to hear all that you have to say more then I do but not right now. I don't know how long it's going to take to snap her out of whatever stage she's in but I don't want you to leave just yet. Can you go into that room right there?" She pointed towards her bedroom, "There's a guy in there. His name is Eric. He's a nice guy and all but sometimes he can be a pain. If he bothers you, just ignore him."
Angel nodded quietly and turned around before Allyson spoke again. "Thank you for telling me this."
"Thank you for believing it."
She smiled, "Oh, vampires suck blood right?"
"Yeah."
"If Eric gets a little annoying feel free to take some from him, just to knock him unconscious or something."
Angel smiled at her joke, "I'll keep that in mind." He walked a few steps before turning around, "You *are* kidding, right?"
She smirked, "You think?"
~Part: 6~
Allyson sighed as she turned back to Willow who was sitting on the couch, her arms wrapped around herself. When she got closer, she heard the words that the redhead was whispering, "It's not real. It's not real. It's not real. It's not real."
With downcast eyes, Allyson sat herself next to her friend and placed a comforting hand on Willow's shoulder. The redhead immediately flinched and scooted over to the far side of the couch. "It's not real."
The brunette pulled her hand back and swallowed the lump in her throat, "Alex, can you hear me?" Getting no response, she tried again, "Alex?" Allyson sighed as the redhead continued to ignore her. "Willow?"
Her head immediately snapped up and her green eyes had a wild look in them, "It's not real."
"You're in shock, hun," Allyson said softly before reaching her hand out gently, "You just need to calm down, okay?"
Willow clasped her hands together and after a few moments, she stopped shaking. She began in a hoarse voice, "I don't understand anything."
"I know, sweetie, I know," Allyson nodded, "Things are confusing. But, they'll come back to you. Gradually, you'll remember it all."
"I don't want to remember." Willow looked at her with teary eyes, "It can't be real. Not-not *that*."
"It is," Allyson replied quietly, "It's hard to believe but it is."
"I'm so confused," Willow said, her voice cracking. She moved closer to Allyson and the brunette wrapped her arms around the redhead, "Nothing makes sense anymore."
Allyson hugged her tightly and whispered, "It will. I promise you it will."
~^~**~^~
"You," Eric said as Angel stepped into the room, "Who are you?"
Angel closed the door quietly and examined the man. He was medium height, good build and overall gentle on the eye. He had short brown hair and expressive brown eyes. The vampire replied, "My name is Angel. Allyson's out there with Wi- uhh, Alex, right now."
Eric raised an eyebrow, "Angel. That sounds familiar."
"Well-"
"Angel as in Angel Investigations?"
Angel looked at the man in surprise, "How do you know?"
"I've heard about you at my job. Your name is always around the office."
"Really? Where do you work?"
"I'm a private detective as well," Eric lied smoothly.
Angel kept his blank expression though he could smell the deceit pouring off the man in waves. Before the vampire could read into it any further, Eric spoke again.
"So, can you explain to me a little of what's going on?" Eric tried to remain as calm as possible, knowing from instinct that this Angel obviously didn't trust him. Not that he didn't have good reason. "Allyson said she would later but I'm curious."
"Maybe you should wait until she explains it to you," Angel replied coolly.
"Oh come on, don't keep me in suspense."
"It isn't my place to tell you."
Eric sighed and gave up somehow having a feeling that he wasn't going to get any information from Angel. He sat down on the bed and reached behind the pillow, his hand grabbing onto the cross that he had placed there earlier. "How's Alex doing? The last time I saw her she looked pretty shaken up."
The guilt washed over Angel again and the vampire shook his head, "She's confused obviously. She has reason to be but-"
Before he could finish his sentence there was a knock on the door. Allyson stepped in and smiled gratefully at Angel, "I've finally gotten her calmed down but she's still a little shaky." She looked up at Eric, "I'm sorry about this but we've," she looked up at Angel again, "gotta talk. I promise you, I will explain everything. Just, later."
Eric immediately plastered a smile onto his face, "It's alright, Al. Go, explain, listen, whatever."
She smiled before closing the door after Angel left the room. As soon as the door shut, Eric's smile disappeared, and a cold and stony mask replaced the previously friendly face. He gripped the cross tighter, "Damn it."
~Part: 7~
Allyson tried to smile as brightly as she can as she led Angel into the living room. "Sweetie?"
Willow looked up at Angel and immediately, Angel could see the fear that inched into her eyes. She gulped, "Hi, Angel."
The vampire nodded weakly back at the redhead before sitting down on a sofa chair. Allyson took a seat next to Willow and offered her hand out in support which Willow latched onto it quickly. "He can explain things, Al, errm, Willow. The things that you're so confused about."
Willow bit her lip, "I'm not so sure I want to know anymore. In my flashbacks it just," she sighed, "doesn't seem real. It's like it's from somewhere else altogether but tonight," she looked down, "tonight made it all real. I'm not sure I like that reality."
Angel nodded understandingly, "It's always like that at first. Nothing makes sense because this is the kind of thing that we have in our worst nightmares. Vampires, werewolves, slayers, it's almost fairy-tale like." He moved closer, "But, it's real, Willow. It's very real."
Green eyes looked up at him, "I know. I think I always knew but I just didn't want to believe it. I mean, god, vampires?" She shook her head, "It's just," she ran her hand through her hair, "I'm still so confused."
"I can explain some things to you. I don't know if it'll be much help with figuring out what happened to you since I don't know much about that myself but at least it's something."
Allyson quickly interjected, "And if you don't like what you hear, you don't have to go back to that place."
"Sunnydale," Angel said.
"Right, Sunnydale. We're *not*," she gave Angel a stern look, "going to force you into it."
Willow nodded thankfully, "Okay, so tell me."
~^~**~^~
Eric leaned his head against the door, hoping to catch some of the conversation that the three were having in the living room but everything came out muffled. He walked away dejectedly and let out an angry sigh. Damn it, it wasn't supposed to happen like this. Why the hell did Angel just have to go and mess everything up? Only god knew what he was telling the witch out there. And Allyson, she wasn't supposed to have this big of an involvement in this. He looked down, his superiors would *not* be happy.
He glanced at the cell phone and walked towards it. He knew what he had to do.
~^~**~^~
"You disappeared about two almost three weeks ago. In that time, a lot of things have changed." Angel began, "Do you remember who Spike is?"
As soon as Angel said the name, Willow grabbed the side of her head and clamped her eyes shut as she was bombarded with memories. It was that same scene again. She saw this before, the first time she saw this blue-eyed creature. But, this time she heard everything.
"Now, now, hold on! I-I'll do your spell for you, and, and, and I'll get you Drusilla back, but, but there will be no bottle-in-face, and there will be no 'having' of any kind with me. Alright?"
"I don't think so, luv," he smirked and stroked a strand of her hair, visibly relishing her fear. "You know, Dru talked about you. Well, at least I think it was you. Sometimes her ramblings just don't make much sense. She said I'd capture the fire in you."
Before she could reply, he pulled her in for a rough kiss and she could feel her whole being melting into him.
Willow's eyes snapped open as she gasped loudly. She held a hand to her forehead, "These flashback things have the worst timing ever."
Allyson looked at her in worry, "What'd you see?"
Her green eyes looked from Allyson to Angel as she whispered, "Spike."
~Part: 8~
Eric paced around the room, his cell phone in his hand as he listened to the voice that boomed from small, plastic object, “Yes, yes, sir. I understand. I know, I should’ve foreseen his interference. Yes, yes, sir. Okay, I will take care-”
Click.
Eric looked down at the phone in anger before switching it off and throwing it onto the bed. Damn it. What the hell was he supposed to do now? Things were too confusing. His job was simple, gain the trust of the witch while she still didn’t remember anything and then bring her to Wolfram & Hart and from there, the others would’ve handled it. He was told that the witch had a lot of power, was probably one of the most powerful witches in the world, which had him worried at first. But when he heard that she had lost all her memory, it made things a lot easier. The plan was so simple and he was *so* close but then Angel had to come and mess everything up.
Shit.
What the hell was he supposed to do now? His head snapped up as he heard
Allyson’s comforting voice and Eric leaned his head against the wall. Allyson,
the woman that he cared about and loved, though he knew he shouldn’t. He
wasn’t supposed to have those kinds of emotions. When you worked for W&H,
the only thing you focused on was getting the job done. And that was it.
You never let emotions get in the way but somehow, he managed to do that. He never told Allyson about his job at W&H until a few weeks ago. And a part of him wished that he never did but he couldn’t lie to her for long. He never could and now that he was, he didn’t like the feeling inside of him. But he couldn’t leave his job at W&H, if he did, he was as good as dead. But then again, if he continued to betray Allyson, the witch and now Angel, he might as well be dead.
It was a lose-lose situation in his case. He ran his hand through his hair. Damn it, why did things have to get so complicated?
~^~**~^~
Willow looked at Angel and sighed, “That’s his name, isn’t it? Spike.” She shook her head, “Oh god, how did I, no, why would I?” She paused, “He loves me. He’s a monster, he can’t love, can he?”
Angel flinched at her words before nodding, “He may not have a soul but he can love. Maybe even more deeply then humans.”
She raised a trembling hand to her face, “Oh, god, he loves me and-and that Dru, that thing, she wants to kill me. She wants-”
“Willow,” Allyson said softly, a part of still not used to calling her that, “Shh, just calm down, sweetie, and tell us what you saw.”
Willow swallowed the lump in her throat and began quietly, “I saw, I saw him. And I was scared,” she shook her head, “I was so scared. I think he wanted me to do a spell or something.” She shot Angel a confused look, “And I think he threatened me before because I said something about no bottle in face, or,” she ran her hand through her hair, “something. But, then he said that Dru told him that he would capture the fire in me. And then he kissed me.” She held a hand to her lips, “And that was it.”
Angel froze as the realization hit him. He knew when that was. It was when Spike came back after he lost Drusilla. The relationship began *then*?! When he was still in Sunnydale and *nobody*, not even Willow, told him. His head snapped up, he knew he had smelled something familiar on the redhead all that time ago, but he could never place it. But it shouldn’t have been that surprising, after all. At that time, he was too focused on Buffy and then afterwards, on Faith and the Mayor to pay much attention to Willow. Oh, god, this was his fault, too. He was a part of the reason why Drusilla was after this poor girl. Part of the reason why she lost her memory. Part of the reason why she was going through the misery that she was in. He looked up, the guilt in his eyes, “I’m sorry, Willow.”
She looked at him confused, “Why?”
“For everything that I’ve done. For everything that I could’ve prevented.”
“It’s not your fault, Angel,” she paused, “Well, actually, I don’t know if it’s your fault or not since I don’t remember most of it,” she looked down and smiled, the first smile since she saw Angel and shrugged, “But, from what I do remember, I know that you’ve helped me.” She paused, “I know I trusted you. In that first flashback, I trusted you a lot. I could feel it.” Her head snapped up as she realized something, “You lost your soul. Because of Buffy and then I cursed you and you got it back. You left Sunnydale because of Buffy and you came to LA.”
Angel looked at her surprised, “Yes, you remember?”
She smiled, “I do and,” her smile grew wider, “And hey, no annoying flashback. I remember it.” She grabbed Allyson and hugged her tightly, “I remember!”
Allyson pulled back, “Anything else?”
Willow’s brow furrowed as she focused on her thoughts but then she shook her head in defeat, “Nothing but, it’s something.”
She smiled at her in reassurance, “Yeah, sweetie, it’s definitely something.”
There were a few moments of silence before Willow spoke again, “Can you tell me about my past Angel? Of what you know at least.”
He nodded, “I don’t know much about the situation between you, Spike, and Drusilla.”
She sighed, “I have a feeling only me, Spike, and Drusilla are aware of the situation between us. But, that’s okay, I just want to know about me. You know, who I really am.”
Angel smiled, “I can do that.”
Allyson squeezed Willow’s knee and smiled, “Okay, well, you two can play catch up but I gotta go talk to Eric.”
A look of worry passed over Angel’s face but he quickly shrugged it off, knowing that Allyson can form her own judgment of the man.
She got up and smiled again before leaving the room and heading for her bedroom door. When she opened it up, she was more then surprised to see Eric leaning against the wall, the agitation obvious in his stature.
“Something wrong?”
His eyes snapped open in surprise, “Ally.”
“Hey,” she smiled at him and with that simple gesture, all his worries seemed to slip away. “I’m sorry about all that out there. Things have been a little weird but I think they’re getting better.”
“What’s going on?”
She sat down on the bed and patted the seat next to her and he moved to sit next to her, “Angel is from Willow’s past, the one that she doesn’t remember that much. He’s explaining a few things to her right now to clear some stuff up.”
“Willow?”
“That’s her real name, Willow Rosenberg.”
Eric nodded in pretend surprise though he already knew this beforehand, “How’d you guys find him?”
“We really didn’t.” She looked down at her clasped fingers and smiled softly when Eric placed his hand over hers, “He found us. He saved us. You remember those monsters that Willow was talking about earlier?” At his nod, she continued on, “Well, they’re vampires and they’re real. Angel saved us from them tonight. And that’s how everything got started.”
There was silence in the room before Eric moved closer and gave her a tight hug, “Are you okay, Ally?”
“Yeah,” she smiled at him, “I’m fine. It’s Willow that I’m worried about.”
“Don’t,” Eric whispered, loving the feeling of her in his arms, “Don’t worry about it. Things will work out.”
Allyson smiled at him, not understanding his true meaning, “I know they will. They have to.”
“They will,” he nodded, “Everything will be okay again, *real* soon.”
~Part: 9~
“Well, that was,” Willow paused, trying to find the right word at Angel’s descriptions of her past, “Interesting.” She smiled at herself, “I don’t know. It just seems so different. I mean, a witch? And fighting off the forces of darkness as an everyday thing?”
“There’s more to you than that though. You were still a top student and everything throughout all those years.”
“And this is just the past few years right? There’s still about a decade of history that you don’t know about.”
“Yeah,” Angel nodded in agreement, “I admit. I don’t know much about your *past* past but I’ve told you all about the Willow I knew in Sunnydale before I left.”
She sighed, “Well, I’m beginning to remember stuff, so you never know.”
“Just keep that spirit up, then.”
At that moment, Allyson opened the door and walked out, Eric following behind her. “Hey,” she smiled warmly, “Everything okay?”
“Fine,” Willow replied, feeling a bit more comfortable with all that she had learned, “I think I’m finally done reeling and now I’m just processing.”
“Good,” Allyson replied, “That’s really good.” She paused, not knowing how to word her next question though she was dying to know the answer.
Eric stood awkwardly by her side, his nervousness rising but he calmed himself as best that he could. He knew that the vampire would be able to see if something was wrong with him so he had to stay as calm as possible. He cleared his throat, “Are you still going to be staying in LA?”
Allyson let out a sigh of relief, thankful that someone besides her asked it, but the worry rebuilt itself as she waited in anticipation for Willow’s answer.
“I umm,” Willow paused, “I want to know more about me and what happened to me.” She smiled at Angel, “I was always a curious one, wasn’t I?”
Angel nodded, “So, would you be willing to go back?”
After a few moments of silence, she answered, “I would but I don’t want to go alone.”
“I could go with you, Willow, but I can only stay for a few days. I’ve got responsibilities here in LA.”
Willow nodded before looking down as bits and pieces of information began to flood her mind, “Cordelia, she works with you, doesn’t she?”
Angel smiled, “Yeah, she does. It’s good that you remember. She gets visions from the Powers That Be.”
“Angel Investigations?”
“Yup,” Angel replied, “This is definitely progress.”
Willow grinned before looking at Allyson with pleading eyes, “Ally, if you say no, I’ll understand but—”
Allyson cut her off, “I’ll go.”
“It’ll just be for a few weeks and—”
“I’ll go,” she repeated, “For as long as you need me, I’m there.” She looked back at Eric, “You can stay here and take care of the apartment, right?”
“Yeah,” he replied automatically, while mentally figuring out what to tell his superiors, “Of course.”
“Great,” Allyson said with a smile, “We can leave tomorrow then.”
“Tomorrow?” Willow asked, “Isn’t that a bit soon?”
“The sooner we leave, the sooner we can figure everything out.”
The redhead nodded at Allyson’s logical reasoning before looking at Angel, “Can you call them and tell them about,” she paused, “everything?”
“Of course and I’ll get my car ready. I’ll be here at sunset to pick you guys up, okay?”
Allyson nodded before walking up to him and giving the vampire a hug, “Thank you.”
He pulled back and shook his head, “No, thank you.”
Willow stood by, her hands clasped together, “Thanks, Angel.”
He moved forward, wanting to hug her but she immediately took a step back. He shot her an understanding glance and tried his best to hide his disappointment. Waving a silent goodbye to Eric, he walked out of the apartment and closed the door behind him.
Willow sighed as she watched him leave. Things were beginning to make more sense but she was still having a hard time trusting the figures from her past. One particular one being Angel. She knew that he meant nothing but good but still, she just couldn’t trust him yet. Not until she had everything figured out.
Eric slid off into the background and grabbed his cell phone and slid it into his pocket before walking back out into the living room again. “Hey, I’ll be right back, I think I left my cell phone in the car.”
“Can’t you get it tomorrow? It’s like 11:30.”
“Work stuff, Al, I can’t just forget about it.”
“Alright, go,” she grabbed the keys off the table and threw it at them, “here.”
He winked his thanks before walking out the apartment door. He got into the elevator and dialed the number hurriedly, “Hello? Yes, Lilah Morgan, please.” Walking out of the elevator, he stood in the lobby, his head ducked though he knew there was no one else by him. “Hi, no, things aren’t better. They just got a whole hell of a lot worse. They’re taking the witch to Sunnydale. Yes, with the Slayer. Who do you think is going to take her? Yeah, Angel. I know. I know. I tried my best. None of them know what’s going on so maybe I can still fix this. Well, I figured that I could go to Sunnydale in a few days and tell them that I wanted to check up or something. Yeah, I know that’s not going to get the witch’s powers but it’s a start, isn’t it? Yeah, I know things are messed up but I’m trying the best I can. Yeah, I, I, Lilah! Will you let me finish? I’ll take care of it, okay? I will. Okay, okay, alright, bye.” He stabbed at the off button before muttering, “Bitch.”
He turned around and looked up, the surprise obvious in his face as he whispered, “Angel.”
~Part: 10~
Angel stepped forward, a low growl escaping from his lips as he grabbed
Eric by the arm, “*Who* are you?”
Eric tried his best to push him away but his attempts were futile,
“I’m *Allyson’s* friend. Why the hell are you still here?”
“I was on my way back up,” Angel replied, keeping his eyes on him, “I was going to give them my phone number just in case anything else happened.” He squeezed Eric’s arm a little tighter, “*But*, since you’re here, I guess you can accompany me.”
Angel merely ignored Eric’s protests as the dark vampire pushed him into the elevator before stabbing the button. Eric moved to the farthest corner of the elevator, trying to place as much space between he and Angel as he could while he thought of a way out of this.
Oh, shit. Oh, shit. Oh, *shit*. What the hell was he supposed to do now? He could lie his way out of it but no, Angel could probably smell the deceit on him and besides, he couldn’t lie. Not to Allyson. He let out a heavy sigh. So, he had to tell them the truth and after that, his life would end.
Literally.
Before anything thought could be put on the subject, he felt himself being thrown out of the elevator, Angel following behind him. He stumbled into the door and pounded on it, his mind reverting to the last plan that he had left.
“Allyson! Oh, god, open the door! Open the door *right* now!”
Allyson whipped the door open, confusion covering her pretty face as she felt Eric’s weight collapse onto hers. She lifted him up, waiting for him to regain balance before looking up at him and Angel. “What’s going on?”
Before Angel could get a word in, Eric said hurriedly, “He’s evil. Oh, god, he’s evil. He tried to bite me, Ally.” Eric shook her by the shoulders, “He tried to kill me. He was lying to you. He’s trying to kill us,” he looked back at Willow, “*All* of us.”
“What?” Angel burst out, “No, he’s lying. I would nev-“ He took a step forth and Allyson’s eyes searched the apartment for a weapon. She grabbed a baseball bat that was leaning on the wall and approached Angel.
“Don’t you *dare* take one more step,” She held up the bat in a threatening manner, “Get out of my apartment.”
“Look, Allyson, you don’t understand-“
“I-I,” she gulped, “I don’t know what’s going on here but I trust Eric a hell of a lot more then I trust you. So, please, just *get* *out*.”
Willow stood in the background and placed a gentle hand on Allyson’s shoulder, “Shh, it’s okay, Ally, calm down.”
Allyson visibly calmed herself before saying in a cool tone, “Angel, leave.”
Angel looked at her and saw the fear in her eyes as she tightened her hold on the bat. He sighed and reached into his jacket pocket before taking out his wallet and from his wallet, he took out a card, “This is my card. My number and address is on there, when you figure out the *truth*, call me.” He looked over Allyson’s shoulder, “Goodbye Willow,” he looked back at her, “Goodbye Allyson.”
Allyson watched as he left with shaky eyes and closed the door with her back, leaning against it before dropping the bat onto the floor. She jumped at the clatter before walking down the steps and into the living room of her apartment where Willow was sitting with Eric.
Eric feigned shock and silently hoped that he was convincing. He knew that Willow believed him but it was Allyson that he was worried about. Could he do this? Did he even *want* to do this? Yes, he shook his head, he had to do this. It wasn’t as if he had the choice. If Willow went to Sunnydale, Eric could never follow without an attack from Angel and then the whole deal was lost. And, if the deal was lost, he was as good as dead.
Wolfram & Hart would make sure of it.
Allyson stood silently in front of them, her arms crossed across her chest as she waited for an explanation. Willow let out a heavy sigh, knowing it would be best if she didn’t interfere. She got off the couch and gave Eric a small smile before leaving the room and going into the guest room. Allyson never took her eyes off Eric, her eyes filled with confusion and persistence. After a few moments of silence, she finally asked, “What’s going on, Eric?”
“He’s lying to you,” He said quietly, “He’s going to take Willow away and he’s going to hurt her.”
“No, he’s not,” she shook her head, “Angel helped us. He’s going to *help* her.”
“That’s what he wants you to believe. Remember Willow’s flashback? He got her trust and then turned it around on her.”
“He has a soul, Eric, he’s good now,” she could hardly believe what she was saying. Here she was, defending a man, a vampire actually, and she barely even knew him. But, something inside of her was just screaming for her too. She couldn’t help but feel a bit suspicious of Eric’s words. Something just didn’t click.
“How do you know he’s telling you the truth?”
“Why would he lie to us, Eric? If he wanted to hurt us, he could’ve done so tonight. But, he didn’t. He *saved* us.” She looked down, “Okay, we can go in circles like this but this isn’t the point. What the hell happened down there tonight to make you change your mind so quickly?”
And, now it was time to fabricate the lies. “He-he attacked me after I got the phone from the car and he tried to kill me.”
She looked at him with a raised eyebrow, “How’d you get away?”
“I fought him off and I ran up the stairs. Thankfully you opened the door in time.”
Allyson didn’t look convinced, “Why would he possibly attack you? And, even if he did, why would he just let you get away? This doesn’t make any sense.”
“I don’t,” his voice rose, “I don’t know, Ally!”
She backed away at his loud voice and flinched, “It doesn’t fit, Eric. I want to believe you, I really do, but it *just* doesn’t make *any* sense.”
His head shot up as he realized what would make her come around, “He’s trying to hurt, Willow. He told me.”
“What?” She asked, the desperation creeping into her voice. “Why would he want to hurt Willow?”
“He wants her powers. He’s going to take her witch powers away from her,” He knew that it was a far stretch and an extreme twist but it was the only thing he had left.
For a few moments, Allyson looked as if she believed him but then, realization crept into her eyes as she backed away slowly, “I-I never,” she paused and tried to ignore the chills going down her spine, “I never told you she was a witch.”
“He, umm,” Eric stuttered, “H-He told me.”
But, she didn’t even hear him. Allyson bolted for the bat but he was faster. He wrapped his strong arms around her waist, keeping her arms at her sides. She kicked and struggled and was about to scream when he lifted his hand to her mouth and clamped it around her face. She continued to struggle but he was too strong for her. Eric pushed away the nervousness inside him and leaned in, trying not to let the sweet smell of her convince him to do otherwise, “Allyson, you need to calm down and listen to me. Now, if I remove my hand you have to promise me you won’t scream. Do you promise?”
She nodded hurriedly and as soon as he let her go, she pushed away from him and screamed at the top of her lungs. Without a second thought, he pushed her to the ground and leaned on top of her, his weight on hers preventing her to move and clamped his hand over her mouth again, “Ally, god, please don’t do this.”
Allyson struggled with all her might until she finally stopped moving. For a second, Eric thought that she had finally calmed down and relaxed a bit. She took advantage of this and brought her knee up hard into his most vulnerable area. He let out a painful groan and she pushed him off of her before crawling to her feet and right into the arms of Willow.
The redhead looked at her and then at Eric who was sprawled on the ground, holding his crotch in pain. “Angel?”
“Yes, we have to get to Angel, *now*.”
Willow nodded and stopped at the door, “What about the keys?”
Allyson gulped and looked down at Eric, “I’ll get them. *Go* and wait, here,” she handed her the card, “Call him from the payphone so he can expect us.”
Willow grabbed the card and looked at the two for a second, her face filled with worry before running out the door.
Allyson leaned down slowly, the tears beginning to form in her eyes as she reached into his pocket. He was still groaning in pain and he opened his eyes when he felt the movement. She looked at him, their eyes met for a moment before Allyson snatched the keys from his pocket. She stood up to leave but he grabbed her wrist and pulled her down until they were face to face.
She knew she had to leave. But, she couldn’t make her feet move. Here he was, Eric, one of her best friends. Someone she thought she knew but really didn’t. Maybe, she never did. But, still, she couldn’t convince her heart. As all the emotions swirled inside her body, she felt the tears begin to fall from her eyes and she whispered hoarsely, “You have to leave. I don’t want to know about the-the *real* you. I-I,” she forced out the next words, “I want to remember you as something good.”
“Al-“
She placed her finger on his lips and leaned in to kiss him softly before she pulled away, “Leave, Eric and don’t follow us.”
Without another word, she stood up and closed the door silently. Eric sat there, his mind still on the kiss, the kiss that seemed to burn through him. He heard her words, leave. He couldn’t follow them and he couldn’t stay. If he followed them, he knew that next time, he wouldn’t be so lucky. If he stayed, Wolfram & Hart would make sure that he was gone, for good.
He had to leave and so, he did.
~^~**~^~
Allyson stared at the closed doors of the elevators, the tears still falling from her eyes as she felt her heart break, piece by piece. She paid no attention to her mind which was filled with unanswered questions. Instead, she focused on her heart and her emotions. As she stepped out of the elevator, she swallowed the lump in her throat, and pushed back the pain, forcing herself to stop crying. No, she couldn’t let Willow see her like this. Right now, she had to focus on getting away from here and to Angel’s place. Their safety was what mattered most right now.
If only she could make her heart believe that.
As she walked into the parking lot, she steeled herself and looked at Willow who was leaning against the car, her face filled with worry. She unlocked the doors and both of them got in. Willow silently handed Allyson the card and the brunette put herself into auto-drive, letting the stronger part of her take over. She switched gears and soon, they were off, heading for their destination.
“Are you okay?” Willow whispered after a few silent moments.
“I will be,” Allyson answered quietly.
“If you need to talk-“
“I know, Willow, I know, but just,” she looked at her, unknowingly let a little bit of grief and despair slip onto her face as she answered, “I can’t right now.”
Willow gave her and understanding smile before looking back out the window, unable to stop the guilt from swimming through her.
A few minutes later, Allyson stopped the car in front of the Angel Investigations Office. She remained quiet and Willow got out of the car but before shutting the door, she sent a questioning look towards Allyson, “Are you coming in?”
“I will, but, just, later. I umm,” She looked down, “I need a few minutes.”
Willow quickly nodded and shut the door before walking up the stairs and into the office area.
Allyson put her hands on the wheel and leaned her forehead against her joined hands. She closed her eyes and after a few moments, a strangled sob spilled from her lips, followed by a river of tears.
This was the right thing to do. She knew that. She couldn’t let her mind think otherwise. But, god, why did it hurt so much?