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The Life Of Brian By Echo
"This is most fascinating." Albus Dumbledore said. "I have never been so close to a vampire before.... without lighting them on fire." Spike bristled. Dawn patted his leg in comfort. "He's not gonna set you on fire, Spike." Severus glared at Dawn's familiarity with the blonde vampire. Angel glared at his glaring. Albus just seemed amused by all the glaring. McGonagall was looking at both Angel and Spike with a rather pinched and guarded expression. Anya was sitting off to the side with her arms folded across her chest. "And the situation with Miss Bell. Most fascinating. A former vengeance demon." They'd had to come clean about Anya. Not that anyone knew any more to do with it than they had. Spike was still looking at her in awe. He just couldn't get over the fact that the cute little girl in the school uniform was the same chit who'd wielded a baseball bat beside him against Glory. Xander's girlfriend. Man, this was going to make for some interesting drama when Chubs learned his best girl was the same age as the Niblet now. Everyone started a bit when there was a knocking on the staffroom door. McGonagall opened it to reveal several people. Notably Harry and Ron up front. Hermione, Ginny, and Colin. Narcissa with Draco. And then Sirius Black and Remus Lupin. Dumbledore chuckled. "I see curiosity has won out. Do come in everyone. Meet the two vampires who have our Miss Summers's heart." Angel noticed that the boy with the black hair and the glasses and the blonde kid who could have been Spike's twin glared rather harshly and Dawn's hand on Spike's knee. There was a very tall redheaded kid. A curly haired girl with the biggest brown eyes he'd ever seen. A little red-haired girl who could have been Willow's twin but for her cinnamon eyes. A boy who had a mop of curly blonde hair. A man with long black hair and big blue eyes with enough stubble on his face to classify him as a homeless man if he so chose. A woman who was far too 'Darla' for words. And a werewolf. Werewolf. Angel jumped to his feet with a growl. "What?" Dawn asked. "What is it?" Anya sighed. "I think Angel just realized Professor Lupin is a lycanthrop." Spike blinked. "Is that why I'm suddenly smelling dog?" Harry looked at Sirius out of the corner of his eyes. Anya narrowed her eyes. "No. Spike, you smell dog because there's a dog in this room. Oh everything about you makes such sense now." She said glaring at Sirius. "You are male in every sense of the word. I'll bet you fall off the couch trying to lick your balls in doggie form. You are everything I used to despise. No wonder I don't like you." "Anya..." Severus admonished. "While I appreciate you candor and honesty, Professor Black IS a professor. You should not speak of him so to his face." "Oh but behind my back would be ok then, git?" Spike and Angel exchanged a look. It was them, but not. "You said it, not me, mutt." "Severus... Sirius..." Dumbledore said in a warning tone. Remus was looking at Anya. "How did you..." "Oh it's SO obvious. And after Oz..." "Oz?" Angel grinned. "Werewolf friend of ours." Severus looked at Dawn. "You're friends with a werewolf?" "Just Oz." "Oh." He threw his hands in the air in exasperation. "Well, it's just Oz then. No harm at all in that." "Don't get cross with me about it. Oz is a good guy. Just like Angel and Spike." "Hey!" Spike protested. "And you don't think Anya's so bad." Ron's eyebrows went up. "Anya's a werewolf?" "No, think tank." Ron sighed in relief. "I used to be a demon." Sirius, Harry, Ron, and Hermione had their wands on her instantly. Anya sighed. Ginny shouted and stepped in front of the other girl. "Ginny..." Ron said. Dawn jumped up too. "Back off. She wouldn't hurt you." "Unless you deserved it." Dawn looked at Anya. "So not helping." "Of for Merlin's sakes. All of you put those wands away." Narcissa snapped as she came to stand next to Anya. "If the girl was going to hurt someone, she would have done so by now. Good gracious, you Gryffs are a jumpy lot. Pulling your wands on a fifteen year old girl. Weren't you listening? She said USED TO BE. That means not anymore. That means she's human. Just a girl." Anya latched onto Narcissa tightly when the woman placed an arm about her. Some part of her somewhere was remembering what it was like to have a mother, was remembering that older sister she had in this life she'd been inserted into. Some strange part of here was wanting Katie here to comfort her. "Naturally, Katherine has been contacted." Dumbledore said. "Katherine?" Spike asked. They'd called Katie? Anya blinked. "My sister." "You've a sister?" Anya grinned and reached into her robes. She came up with a photograph. The girl walked over to Spike and let him have a look. Spike gave a whistle. "Angelus, you best have a look at this one. Cor, demongirl, what a looker. What happened to you then?" Anya swatted him playfully. "Shut up, peroxide, or I might be forced to make a wish." "Oh my God." Dawn said. "What?" "Oh... God..." "Dawn?" "Oh... Oh God. Oh MY God." "What?!" "Um, Anya..." "Yeah?" "I think... I think, uh, I might have a tiny clue how you, er, got here." Realization dawned on Anya. "You didn't." "I might have." "Dawn!" "I'm sorry." Draco leaned over to his mother. "And I'm confused." "Dawn made a wish." Anya snapped. "She just opened her mouth and said the 'W' word. Didn't ya?" Spike looked at her. "Niblet." "I didn't mean to." "Didn't you learn anything from me?" Anya said in a shrill voice. "Do you think the woman who said she wanted her fiancé to be just as mixed up on the inside as she was actually wanted her guy to have scrambled organs? No and ick. Do you think Cordelia knew what she was saying when she said she wished Buffy had never come to Sunnydale? No. Do you think the girl that got VD from her cheating lover actually wanted his penis to have pus-dripping sores then fall off? Well, ok, yeah SHE did. But Dawn, how could you use the 'W' word about me?" "I didn't say you." "What?" "I wasn't specific." "The problem with all 'wishers'. The devil's in the details, and boy howdy, are they NOT kidding about that...." She paused. "Hallie!" Everyone looked at Anya. "Oh I know who did it now." She looked around "Hallie, get you ass down here now!" There was a tuft of smoke and a curly-haired demon was standing before them in a stunning little set of lavender robes. "You rang?" "Halfrek..." Anya said through her teeth. "Oh, Anyanka, don't you look too cute." "Fix it!" Dawn panicked. Selfish yes, but she didn't want Anya to leave. "Wait!" Her voice had wavered in a most painful manner. Anya turned. She tilted her head to look at Dawn. Did the key want her to stay? "Dawnie?" "I..." Dawn wrung her hands. "We could just see, right? I mean, you don't have to go back now, do you? I.. I mean, what about Katie?" "She'll forget all about me." "The way Buffy would have if I had been the one to go?" Anya's jaw clenched. She didn't like thinking about Buffy all cold in the ground. It hurt. It still hurt like thinking about Joyce did at first. Thinking about Joyce still stung, but Anya liked to remember the good times. Like Christmas dinners and movie nights and those looks the Summers woman would give her when she committed some verbal social faux pas. Was Dawn right? Would Katie miss something she had technically never really had? Yes. God, Buffy had given her own life for something she had never really had. For a created memory. Anya had quite a few of those. All revolving around Katie. Her sister. Was this what being human was like? Because this tugging feeling in the center of her chest when she thought about leaving her sister just sucked monkey balls. "Well, you just better get used to being a student, Anyanka. Because I'm not changing you back! That's what you get for leaving!" Halfrek hissed before dissolving in a wisp of white smoke. No one moved. "How did.. how did how did..." Ron said pointing at the smoke. "I allowed it." Dumbledore said calmly. "Is that what you...." Ron let his question trail off. Anya looked at the floor. "Yeah." "Wicked." The former demon's head snapped up. No one was looking at her in disgust. They all looked rather supportive. Well, not Professor Black. He looked like he was about half afraid of her. Good. "So... so you don't mind?" Dawn asked. "Do I have a choice?" "But do you mind it?" Anya grabbed Dawn and pulled her into a hug. "Not with you around." "I'm gonna bloody puke." Angel kicked Spike. "Ouch! Peaches! Bloody effin' hell, man!" "You're so inconsiderate of others' feelings, Spike." "Look at the nancy boy." "Spike-" "You're so inconsiderate of others' feelings." Spike mocked in falsetto. "I'm Angel. I'm a nancy boy poofter who likes hair gel oh so much." "Spike..." Angel growled. "Oh piss off, wanker." Angel dove at Spike with a growl, and the two of them started wrestling across the floor. "Oh my Crap!" Anya yelled. "I know." Dawn said in an irritated tone. "How immature can you get?" "No, if they're gonna do that, they could at least take their shirts off first." Everyone gave Anya a look. Dawn stomped her foot. "Stop it! Stop it right now, the both of you!" Neither vampire paid her any attention. "Petrificus totalus!" The vampires froze at the blast from Draco's wand.... in a very funny position. Anya cocked her head to the side. "Well, that's highly inappropriate... and strangely erotic at the same time." She got 'the look' again. Angel was on Spike's back with a handful of the blonde's hair. Spike had his teeth sunk into Angel's wrist. And somehow it just managed to look sort of... naughty. Dawn was looking at Draco though. "Just thought I'd help." It was then that a house elf entered the room. Dobby to be exact. "Headmaster Dumbledore, the extra rooms is ready. Dobby is...." Dobby stopped speaking and blinked his great green eyes at the frozen vampires. "Most disturbed by the new sculpture in the school." Anya started laughing. Pretty soon everyone had joined her. It was just too funny. Even Draco was laughing, and he rarely laughed. *~*~*~*~*~* Anya and Dawn had special permission from Dumbledore to stay a bit and visit with Spike and Angel after they were set up in their dungeon rooms with no windows. After they had been unfrozen, of course. Dawn had threatened them with it if they misbehaved again. When the two girls were walking back to Gryffindor Tower, Dawn looked at Anya. "Are you sure you don't mind it?" "Dawn..." "I just... It's just so selfish of me not to want you to have your life back." "I have a life." "Anya-" "No, seriously. You reminded me of that earlier. I have this life. It's not so bad. I have a big sister, and friends, and a best friend. I go to a cool magic school that has lots of cute boys in it who don't know near as much about sex as I do. Also, I think this body is bendier than the other one. More positions." "Anya!" "What?" "Summers." Both girls jumped at the voice. Draco stepped out from behind a tapestry. "Jebus! Lurky Lurkerson! You nearly made me pee myself! Wear a bell!" Dawn snapped. Draco looked at Anya as if he were trying to think of the best way to 'wear' her. Dawn rolled her eyes. "Not an Anya Bell, a ring-y bell, dumbass." He glared. "I'll just leave you two alone." "But-" "Dawn, I think I can make it the rest of the way to Gryffindor all by myself." Anya saluted them and walked off. "Good, because I needed to speak with you alone." Dawn looked at him. "About what?" "This." She was quite shocked when he grabbed the sides of her face and planted one on her. Dawn's arms flailed a bit before they wrapped around him. His moved off the sides of her face to settle around her and pull her a bit closer as his tongue swept inside her mouth to fight with hers. "Oh bloody hell." Dawn and Draco jumped apart. Spike was standing there with his arms folded across his chest and one eyebrow raised. Angel was standing beside him with his arms resting in a similar manner, but his forehead was scrunched up due to scowl-y glare face. Angel was always good at that one. "Well, wh-what are you two doing here?" Dawn stammered nervously. "Peaches and I were following you and demongirl to make sure you got back safely, and here we find you snogging a bloke that looks a hell of a lot like me. Bit, I don't know whether I'm flattered or wigged." "You're not old enough to be kissing." Angel said. Dawn gaped, and Spike looked at him like he was a bit unhinged. But it was Draco who spoke. "She'll be sixteen in a few months." "And just how old are you?" "Well, he's certainly not two hundred and forty whatnot to my sixteen, mister cradle-robbing creature of the night." Spike started laughing. "What are you laughing at, chips ahoy? Need I say Harmony?" Angel looked at Spike in shock. "You dated Harmony?" Spike sighed. "Yes." Angel started laughing. "Look, you two just better get over yourselves. I happen to like Draco, though I can't imagine why. We like to kiss. Deal." Draco looked at her. "You like me, Summers?" "No, Malfoy, I was trying to strangle you with my tongue. Clever huh?" He just stared at her. "Of course I like you, you big pasty freak. I don't kiss people I don't like." "I-" Spike started but Dawn cut him off. "Not a word about YOUR bizarre dating rituals. You don't count in the kissing people you don't like department." Angel snickered. "Oh piss off." But Draco was looking at Dawn. Somebody liked him. HIM. How did that happen? The girl was clearly mentally unstable. And she'd called him a pasty freak. Well, it was better than ferret-y git. Still, he should punish her for that. Strangely all he could think to do was kiss her again.... and more. Snape
was going to kill him.
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