Chapter Ten
Xander yawned widely, feeling the pull in his back as he stretched. That nap had done him a world of good, he felt refreshed and invigorated. He smiled as he padded into the bathroom, yeah, that nap was just what he needed. He sure as hell didn’t want to be tired tonight. He whistled as he bustled about the bathroom, sticking his hand under the spray, checking to see if the water was warm enough yet. He loved his apartment, but living in an older building did have a few drawbacks. Old plumbing was one of them. He straightened the towels, then stripped out of his sweats, tossing them into the hamper. He pulled back the curtain and stepped into the tub, letting out a contented sigh. It was Friday, it had been a great week at work, patrolling had been almost a formality with only three vamps showing up all week and the water felt so nice on his skin. He grinned as he reached over for the shampoo. Oh yeah, things were really going great right now. And in an hour or so things were going to get a whole hell of a lot better. He washed his hair, pushing back the wistful wish that it wasn’t his fingers moving over his skull. No, he couldn’t start thinking about that now, that would interfere with his plans. And he wanted tonight to be perfect. He rinsed his hair, then grabbed the bath gel that he discovered Spike adored, there was something about the faint traces of eucalyptus that made the vampire sniff him appreciatively. He slowly and gently washed, taking special care to thoroughly cleanse himself. He wanted to smell as good as possible.
He turned off the water right as it began to cool, then leaned over and grabbed a towel off the rack. He dried off quickly and efficiently, then stepped out of the tub. Wiping the steam off the mirror, Xander suddenly caught sight of his reflection. He started laughing at the stupid grin pasted on his face. He couldn’t help it though; he had been looking forward to this night for a few days. He knew that he had been nearly useless at work today; he was so caught up in the images in his head. He ran his hands through his hair, deciding at the last minute not to bother combing it out. It was simply going to get tangled again shortly. He wrapped a towel around his waist and headed for his bedroom, excitement growing with every step.
Xander settled on the bed, rested his hands on his thighs and took a deep breath. He had to calm down, he had to or this would not go anything like he planned. He breathed deeply for several minutes, letting his mind drift, nearly falling asleep again. Once he felt his heart rate steady, he opened his eyes and exhaled long and slow. It was time. He knelt next to the bed and reached under, drawing out the large wooden box. He flipped the lid, grinning again as he remembered the last time he opened it. Things had definitely changed since that day. He quickly gathered together what he needed, then headed back to the bathroom, grabbing his robe off the back of the door as he did so. He shrugged on the robe while unwrapping the towel, taking the extra few seconds to hang the towel on the rack. He grabbed a couple of washcloths and two dry towels and then set off for the living room with his armful of stuff. He set his bundle on the coffee table, and then turned to the television.
Fingers ran down the stack of tapes while his lips pursed in thought. Which one, which one? It wasn’t an idle question, not just anything would do for tonight. He lingered over a few of the splice tapes, then shook his head. No, no tonight he wanted the real thing, one of his favourites. One of Spike’s favourites. One with William. He pulled out Boys in Blue and Amsterdam Nights, weighing them back and forth. Both were wonderful, and either would do. He hesitated a moment longer, then popped in Amsterdam Nights. That one was nearly all only Spike and William. And that’s what he wanted tonight. He arranged a towel on the couch, then nestled down, grabbing the remotes. He turned on the television and the VCR, adjusting the volume so that it would be barely audible over by the door. He glanced around, running over the list in his head. Blood in the freezer – check. Fresh sheets on the bed – check. Clean towels in the bathroom – check. Sexy vampire boyfriend – there in, he glanced at the clock, 35 minutes. Perfect. He stood and let the robe drop to the floor.
Hands busied themselves for a moment, arranging the towel and cushions how he wanted them, making sure everything else was in easy reach. He leaned back, spreading his legs wide, letting the anticipation begin to curl through him, letting it take him away. He looked over at the television, mouth watering as he watched his lover on the screen. Who would have guessed that watching Spike take someone else would give him such a thrill? His cock twitched as a hand wandered down to absently tweak a nipple. Xander moaned softly, biting his lip. So sweet to see Spike like that and to know what it felt like when those lips wrapped around his shaft. So much better when he knew, when he didn’t have to imagine. Xander licked his lips, feeling his heart beginning to pound. Time. It was time. A hand reached over and gathered together the necessary supplies.
He flipped open the Astroglide and squeezed a little into his palm. That simple action sent a surge of hunger through him. He hadn’t done this since Anya left, and the mere memory of those times was making him sweat. To think that shortly Spike would be there was nearly overwhelming. He spread the lube over the fingers of his right hand, then settled back and slowly eased a hand between his thighs. He turned to watch the men on the screen, watching as William arched and came and as Spike gathered some cum on his fingers. Waiting, waiting the tip of a finger grazed over his opening as he watched, moaning a little louder now. As he watched Spike ease into William, he eased into himself, breath hitching a little at the sting. It wasn’t bad, in fact, it faded nearly immediately, but it still stung. Xander gently twisted and turned his finger, the movement familiar and alien all at the same time. He had only done this once before, generally it had been Anya who had opened him this way. But it felt as wonderful as he remembered, the pressure filling him so sweetly. He eased a second finger in to join the first, his hips moving on their own accord. His body set up a slow rhythm of thrust and retreat, thrust and retreat. He could feel the muscle relax, feel himself open. He moved carefully, taking care to avoid his prostate. That would be too much for him to handle, he didn’t want to climax alone. Not tonight. Not when he didn’t have to, not when there was someone who would be thrilled to join him. He withdrew for a moment, squeezing out more lube. He knew he was probably using too much, but better too much then not enough. Three fingers entered him easily and he turned back to the screen, gasping as he watched Spike thrust in and out of William. The look of bliss on William’s face could not be faked and it made Xander’s head spin.
He pulled out again and picked up the dildo lying on within easy reach on the floor. He coated it thoroughly, resisting the urge to glance at the clock. Spike would be there soon, he felt it, and he knew exactly how he wanted the vampire to find him, knew exactly what he wanted Spike to see when he entered the room. Xander pressed the tip inside, hissing again at the sudden flare of pain. He breathed steadily through his nose, waiting for his body to adjust. Again, it was over in a few short minutes, but it was enough for him to realise the truth of Spike’s fears. It didn’t hurt too much; in fact the pain was part of the pleasure. But it hurt enough. And there was no way he was going to chance setting off the chip. He couldn’t stand to even consider hurting Spike. Not now. Probably not ever again. He pressed the toy in a little deeper, humming at the feel. Cool, but not too cool. A smile danced on his lips. He wondered what would be cooler, the latex or Spike. He pressed again and again and then it was in completely. He stayed like that, enjoying the sensation of fullness. Opening one eye, he chanced a glance at the clock. 8:55. Spike would be there in five minutes. He turned his head back and began to move, easing back and forth, one leg on the floor, the other bent and resting on the back of the couch. He tried to visualise the picture he made, hoping it was right, hoping it was perfect. He wanted it to be perfect. He took one more deep breath and let his mind go clear, blocking out everything but sensation. He wasn’t about to get nervous now.
Spike bounced up the stairs, tossing his keys in the air then spinning to catch them as they came back down. He was happy, nearly ridiculously so. He couldn’t remember the last time he felt like this, couldn’t remember when the simple act of walking down a hallway made him grin. It was the keys, he decided. It had to be the keys. It was one thing to have a standing invitation to Xander’s home. Another to be keeping clothes there. Another to have his side of the bed. But it was something else altogether to have a key to Xander’s apartment. He grinned again remembering how Xander gave him the key the day before. They were kissing in Xander’s doorway, Xander on the way to work, Spike on his way back to the crypt, when Spike felt Xander press something hard and cold into his hand. He pulled back, puzzled to see Xander smiling shyly at him.
“Um, I thought you should have that,” Xander slowly opened Spike’s fingers as he spoke. “You should have that.”
Spike looked down then went still when he saw the small gold key. “Xander,” he breathed out, unable to look up.
“I want you to have it. Um, I have something to do tomorrow and I won’t be back until late. Why don’t you come over at 9:00 and if I’m not there, you can just let yourself in. And, well, you know, you can let yourself in whenever you want after that, I mean, if you want.” Spike’s head shot up as he heard the bravery and fear twined in Xander’s voice. A key to his apartment. Xander trusted him that much. This was a permanent invitation. And Xander knew exactly what that meant. Spike just kissed him, hard, then rested his head on Xander’s shoulder, unable to speak, having no words that would be right.
“You’ll come over at nine tomorrow?” Xander whispered, running a hand down Spike’s back. Spike simply nodded. “I’ll meet you at the crypt tonight, though.” Spike nodded again, then took Xander’s hand as they headed down to their cars. He spent the rest of the day sitting on his bed in the crypt, simply staring at the key. He didn’t dare to think about what all this meant, it was too much to consider at the moment. Too much. Too good.
Spike stopped in front of Xander’s door and automatically raised a hand to knock. He stopped, tilting his head to the side. There was someone in the apartment already. He inhaled deeply then smiled as the familiar scent of Xander’s arousal filled his nostrils. So, Xander was home early. And was expecting him. He felt his cock begin to stir in anticipation. He reached out and turned the knob, surprised to find the door locked. A grin spread across his face. Well, well. Xander wanted him to use his present. Good, he could do that. He flipped to the right key, pausing again as he heard something odd. It sounded like, like, panting, almost like someone was having sex. He shrugged it off, it was probably simply the neighbours, it wasn’t very loud. He slid the key into the lock, then opened the door. He walked in, faintly taking in the low light as he turned to shut and lock the door behind him.
“Xander, where are you, mate? Did you have a good day at work?” Spike’s voice faded as he moved into the living room. He went still, stunned at what he saw before him. Xander was lying naked on the couch, legs spread wide, eyes closed, sweat dripping off his face. His hand was moving slowly, so slowly, easing the dildo in and out of his ass. Spike swallowed, cock instantly hard. He was frozen in place, shocked and stunned and aroused nearly out of his mind.
“Xander,” he groaned, hands shaking, “Jesus, Xander do you have any idea, do you know what you look like, I mean, bloody hell, Xander.” Spike took a step forward, freezing again as Xander’s eyes flew open and met his.
“Spike,” Xander smiled, drinking in the look of shock and lust on Spike’s face. “Hey, you’re here. Actually, you’re over there. Get over here.” Xander reached up with his left hand, his right hand still slowly moving back and forth. Spike automatically stepped forward, the keys falling from his hands. He fell to his knees by the couch, burying his hands in Xander’s hair, kissing him frantically. Xander moaned into Spike’s mouth, going still, concentrating on the press of Spike’s lips. They attacked each other’s mouths, nipping and lapping and battling tongue to tongue. Slowly, they calmed, finally falling apart, both panting slightly. Spike turned his head as a sudden gasp behind him startled him. Wide eyed, he stared at the television, watching as he pounded into William. He turned to Xander, confusion clouding his face.
Xander reached a hand up and cupped Spike’s face. “I used to lie here and watch you, watch as you did all those things to all those men and I would pretend it was me, pretend I was the one you were fucking, I was the one you were sucking, I was the one who drove you mad. I’ve imagined it so many times, I want it so badly. I want you to fuck me. I know you want to do it. I know you don’t want to hurt me.” He dropped his touch from Spike’s face and picked up Spike’s hand, easing it down his chest, barely brushing across his erection. He wrapped Spike’s hand around the dildo then pulled his hand away. “I want you. I got myself ready for you. I want that to be you inside me. Please, Spike, please.”
Spike leaned down and kissed Xander again, shrugging out of the duster as he did so. “Xander, Xander, you sure, I don’t want to hurt you,” he groaned as Xander pushed down, taking the toy in easily.
“Shut up and strip, Spike.” Xander panted out, tugging Spike’s shirt out of his jeans.
“Oh yeah,” Spike sighed. He pulled back and yanked his shirt off then returned for another kiss. He slowly eased the dildo out and pressed his fingers in instead. He hissed as the heat gripped his hand. “So wet, you got yourself wet for me, so tight, so hot, want you, wanted you for so long, Xander.” Spike pulled away, ignoring Xander’s whimpers of protest. “Not here, Xander. I want to do this right.” He slowly stood, reluctantly leaving the haven of Xander’s body. He swiped his hand on his jeans, then reached down. “Come on, Xander. Let’s go.”
Xander trembled slightly as he stood. He wasn’t afraid, not exactly, but he was nervous. This was it. Once he did this, there was no going back. He knew it wouldn’t hurt; he had done everything he could to make sure of that. But he didn’t know exactly how it would feel. Spike pulled him tight into against his chest, and Xander moaned as their flesh pressed together.
“Don’t worry,” Spike whispered into Xander’s neck, “It’ll be beautiful.” Spike slowly backed down the hall, smiling a little as Xander paused to grab the lube. He tried to keep his hands from shaking, tried to battle back every impulse that was screaming to take Xander here on the floor. No, not like that. It was going to be as slow and gentle as he could stand. Time enough for fast and furious later. His mind was reeling with the implications of all Xander had done, just how much Xander must want this to go to these lengths. He couldn’t think about that now. Now, now all he could think about was getting out of his jeans and into Xander’s body.
They entered the bedroom, kissing again, Spike caressing Xander’s ass while Xander worked Spike’s jeans open. Spike sat on the edge of the bed, pulling Xander to stand between his legs. His fingers sought out Xander’s opening once again, fingers desperate to get back inside. He hungrily watched as Xander’s head fell back when Spike pressed two fingers inside.
“Like that, do you?” Spike smiled gently as he stroked, searching for Xander’s hot spots. A sudden gasp filled the room as he began to stroke Xander’s prostate.
“Fuck, yeah. Spike, please, don’t, too close, I don’t want to come yet, want to come with you inside me.” Xander leaned away from Spike’s touch, ignoring his body’s protest. The sensation of those cold fingers inside him was nearly overwhelming.
“Christ, Xander,” Spike swallowed hard. “Gotta get out of these jeans, that’s it, going naked from now on, too much bother,” Spike muttered, trying to find some way to undress that didn’t need his hands. He growled in frustration as his jeans caught on his boots. Reluctantly, he pulled his hand away, releasing his hold on his lover.
Xander stepped out from between Spike’s legs and settled down next to Spike, lying back and enjoying the view while Spike finished undressing. Finally. After all those nights longing and dreaming, he was finally going to feel Spike moving inside him. He shivered as Spike turned back to him, their eyes meeting and locking. Xander felt his heart lurch at the expression on Spike’s face, tenderness and care and something that Xander didn’t even want to try to interpret all mixed together.
“Are you sure?” Spike had to ask, had to hear it said to believe it could be true. He was aching with need, nearly out of his mind trying to maintain control. He had to hear Xander say it, he needed to on some fundamental level that he didn’t dare inspect.
“I’ve never been so sure of anything in my life. Now, shut up and fuck me.” Xander grinned as Spike laughed and then crawled up the bed, rubbing his body against Xander’s.
“You ever hear the phrase “topping from the bottom” there, Xan? Is that how it’s going to be?” Spike felt Xander’s chest move as he lapped at Xander’s nipples, hands roaming over Xander’s body.
“Only one way to find out, isn’t there?” Xander replied, neck arching back as Spike gently bit his way up Xander’s neck.
“Only one way I know,” Spike answered, leaning up to meet Xander’s gaze. Beautiful, Xander looked so beautiful, eyes dark with passion, hair damp with sweat, need shining so clearly on his face. A need that Spike could fill. “How do you want to do this?”
“Like this, I want to see you.” Xander could hear his heart pounding. This was it. They were really going to do this. He grabbed the tube and squirted some gel out, then slicked it over Spike’s erection, moving quickly, not lingering, knowing that simply torment them both.
“Alright,” Spike kissed Xander again, then sat up, reaching for a pillow. Xander lifted his hips and Spike slid the pillow underneath him, stroking up the lengths of Xander’s thighs with both hands. He hooked Xander’s legs over his shoulders and moved into position.
“You ready?” Spike tried to keep his hands from shaking as he grasped his erection.
“Please, please, Spike,” Xander whispered, “please don’t make me wait anymore.”
”I won’t, I can’t, I can’t wait either,” Spike sighed back. He pressed himself against Xander’s opening, eyes dropping shut as he eased in, waiting for the pain, waiting for the chip to go off. He hissed as the heat surrounded him, as the tightness of the passage surrounded him. “Xander, fuck, Xander, so good, shit, so tight, so hot, you feel amazing, perfect, fuck.”
“More, more,” Xander reached up and began stroking down Spike’s chest, running his hands over the porcelain skin. “Spike, Spike, Spike,” all Xander could do was chant Spike’s name as his thoughts scattered. The sensation overwhelmed him, the perfection of it ripping through him. Nothing had ever felt this good. He had never even imagined anything feeling so good.
Spike pressed forward slowly, eyes opening to watch Xander’s face. Xander’s eyes were closed and he was thrashing back and forth, biting his lip. No pain. Only pleasure. With a moan that echoed through the room, Spike thrust the rest of the way, burying himself deep inside his lover. They stayed like that for a moment, then Xander began to move. Spike quickly picked up the rhythm and they began to groan, too caught up in sensation to do anything else. Spike reached down and wrapped his hand around Xander’s shaft and began to pump in counterpoint to his thrusts. He moaned as Xander pressed a finger to his lips, then he sucked it into his mouth, biting down gently. Xander began to move faster, pushing them forward, rushing them towards completion.
“Spike, wanted you for so long, wanted this, dreamed of this, perfect, so good, perfect, perfect,” Xander heard his voice coming from far away. He never expected it to feel like this, never knew how desperately his body desired this. “Spike, Spike, Spike,” he arched back, his orgasm ripping through him, carrying him away. Spike thrust faster and faster, Xander’s passage clamping down on him.
“Not yet, not yet, more, more, never get enough of you, never, not yet,” Spike chanted feeling his control slip away. “No, no, not yet, don’t want to, want more, need you, Xander, Xander.” Spike threw his head back, unable to hold back any longer. Wave after wave crashed over him, the intensity almost frightening. Shuddering, he collapsed onto Xander’s chest, aftershocks rippling through them both. Xander ran a lazy hand through Spike’s hair as they rested, sighing when Spike finally slipped out. He felt shattered. He felt reborn.
“Thank you,” Spike murmured into Xander’s chest once he was able to think.
“For what,” Xander replied, pulling Spike up for a lingering kiss.
“For giving me that, for letting me give you that,” Spike answered, pressing a gentle kiss to Xander’s forehead.
“I think I should be thanking you,” Xander replied, slowly licking the sweat off Spike’s neck. “That was, wow, perfect.”
"Really,” Spike propped himself up on his arm, inspecting Xander’s face.
“Yeah,” Xander said softly, reaching up and trailing the back of his hand down Spike’s cheek.
“You’re welcome.” Spike kissed Xander quickly, then settled back onto Xander’s chest. They rested for a moment, then Xander sighed.
“We have to shower or we’ll stick together.” He didn’t want to get up, but they need to. Besides, he was getting hungry.
“Did you really watch those and wish it was you?” The question was so quiet Xander almost missed it.
“Yeah, I did.” Xander responded just as quietly.
“Will you tell me what you liked best?” Spike raised his head and cocked an eyebrow. He peeled off Xander’s chest and moved to the edge of the bed.
“Why do you want to know that?” Xander sat up as Spike rolled off the bed. Spike grabbed Xander’s hand and led them to the bathroom.
“Because I thought maybe you might want to act them out.” Spike cheerily replied as he started the water.
“Oh, oh that’s a good idea.” Xander breathed out. Oh yeah.
“Oh yeah, and I’ll tell you what I like. Figure turn about is fair play and all that.” Spike pulled Xander into the tub with him, already sorting through the scenes.
“Oh yeah,” Xander sighed, reaching for the shampoo. He handed it to Spike and then stepped into the spray.