Chapter Seven
Xander slid the plate across the table to Spike, reaching up and taking a bite of his own slice as he did so. Gods, he was starving. And the pizza was perfect, burnt just enough. A quick slug of beer and the grin was back. He couldn't help it, he knew damn well he looked like an idiot, but he felt good. Like he knew that he would. His grin stretched wider as the music started in his head. Oh yeah, he felt just fine. No guilt for Xander. Nope. None to be found.
He had expected that, really he had. He had braced himself for guilt and self-loathing and self-hatred and any other nasty emotion he could imagine. Not that he planned on stopping. He couldn't have. He wanted this too much. But there was none of that present. Just happiness. Maybe it was because he finally realised that Spike wasn't just using him, wasn't just planning some twisted mind game to get at Buffy or Angel or whomever else the vampire was aiming for. No, something had happened when Spike pressed his hand to Xander's heart, something snapped and Xander knew that Spike wanted him. Just wanted him. For no other reason than because he did. Xander took another quick bite, smirking up at the ceiling. Yes, he was happy. Now if he could just manage to get up the nerve to look over at Spike.
"Pet, something interesting up there," Spike turned his chair so that he was sitting right next to Xander, leaning his head up to stare at the spot on the ceiling that was fascinating his lover so. A lazy smile curled on his lips. His lover. Well now, wasn't this a shock. Never expected it to be true. At least not this quickly. But now here they were, eating together after what Spike had to admit had been a rather spectacular evening. And only going to get more so if he had any say in it.
"Not really. Never noticed that crack before. And I have spiderwebs." Xander kept his head tilted back, a slight blush coming over him. Embarrassment, however, appeared to still be on the agenda. He didn't know how to ask, how to find out if Spike liked what he had done. Well, fine, it was fairly obvious that Spike liked it well enough, but, well, Xander wanted more, wanted to know what he had done that felt good, what he could have done to make it feel better. And he did want it to get better. But Spike so clearly knew what he was doing and Xander so clearly didn't and it was playing with his head, riling up all his insecurities once more.
"That you do, mate. Suppose we should get a ladder and sweep them down," Spike inched over a little on his chair, puzzled as Xander's blush deepened. Surely the whelp couldn't be having regrets now? Not after what had just happened between them. He had to know that Spike wasn't playing with him now, didn't he? After all, here he still sat, eating pizza with Xander, drinking his beer, practically oozing pleasure from his every pore. My but the boy learned quickly, if he hadn't known better, he would have sworn the boy had been taught how to suck dick by a master. Hells, he could have given lessons. Enough natural talent there to destroy him in moments. When he thought back to his first time with Angelus, well, good thing he couldn't blush or they would both be sitting there burning red in the night. And it had been so awkward after, he had had no idea what to say or do. . .
Spike practically slapped himself in the forehead at his own stupidity. And just how was Xander supposed to know what to say or do? Bloody hell, he just assumed the whelp would know how marvellous it had been by the fact that he tried to shove his entire cock down Xander's throat. Either that or the howling should have been a bit of a clue. But Xander wouldn't necessarily know that, now would he? Spike restrained a hiss as the acrid scent wafted over to him. And damn those supposed friends of his for letting him remain so insecure. He closed his eyes for a moment, cursing the chip, cursing the fate that kept him from destroying everyone who had every hurt the precious man next to him. If he had but world enough and time. Well, he had right now. He could change it now.
"Xander," Spike turned and pressed a cool hand to the warm skin. "Xander, look at me."
With a barely perceptible shudder, Xander turned to face Spike, not really wanting to know what he would see, prepared for the usual sardonic grin. Not prepared for the openness and honesty peering back at him. "Spike," Xander sighed, unsure of what more to say.
"Just wanted to say thanks. That was bloody amazing." Spike held the gaze a moment more, fighting back his terror at being so exposed to someone who could hurt him so very much with just one word, just one wrong look. He lifted an eyebrow. "Sure you haven't done that before. From where I was standing felt like you knew just what you were about."
Xander started laughing at that, snapping the tension in the air. "Oh, yeah, Spike. Been doing it for years. Have my own infomercial. 'How to please your undead lover in six easy lessons. Call now and this peppermint flavoured body oil will be yours as our free gift. Operators are standing by. Only six easy payments of 19.95.'" Xander stopped, hearing Spike's laughter mix with his own.
"Worth the money, pet." Spike watched the flush creep back up Xander's cheek. This time, however, it wasn't from embarrassment. He placed his bottle on the table, then stood, pressing a quick kiss on the top of Xander's head. "Stay here, eat. Back in a few. Want to thank you properly, now don't I." He trailed cool fingers down the side of Xander's neck, drawing a shudder from them both. He stalked down the hall, heading straight for Xander's bedroom.
Xander stared for a moment, then turned back to grab another slice. So, Spike had really liked it. He grinned back up at the ceiling. "Looks like splicing that tape helped." He chuckled, letting the film unspool in his mind. He had taken all the scenes he could find of William blowing Spike and edited them together, watching closely to see which reactions were for the camera and which were real. He soon realised that if Spike truly liked something he would go still. So Xander had edited the tape back down, collecting only those moments. Then he watched it, over and over, memorising it, glad once again that he had this insight into his vampire.
Spike looked around the room, checking one last time to make sure it was just how he wanted it. Now, now he would fall back on his plan of going slowly, of seducing Xander into enjoying this as much as Spike knew he could and should. Candles flickered and the faint scent of sandalwood from the incense he had briefly burned filled the air. Pillows were arranged just so, the perfect angle to support Xander's body. A small bowl of warm water half hidden under the bed, washcloths next to it.
"Just need flowers and candy and you'll just be the perfect little man won't you. Wanker." The self-mockery made him grin. Fuck it all. He was a romantic. And if this, if this wasn't the right time to pull out all the stops then Spike had no idea when it would be. "At least I haven't written the bloke anything. Even I wouldn't torture someone like that. Well, maybe the Slayer. When is her birthday again? Xander will know." He turned on his heel and headed back towards the kitchen, ignoring the twist in his gut. He didn't get nervous. Hadn't been nervous in over a century. Well, maybe a few decades. Well, as long as he was being honest with himself, since he kissed Xander that first time. But no, he wasn't nervous now. Not at all.
Xander felt Spike slowly walk up behind him. He continued staring at the wall, hands resting on his clasped hands, elbows propped on the table. Cool hands dropped to his shoulders and he sighed as Spike slowly kneaded the muscles.
"Xander, do you want to me to go?"
Xander leaned his head back, seeing Spike's face peering solemnly down at him. He shook his head, touched by the gesture, the oblique check to see if this was what Xander truly wanted.
"No. Of course not." Xander could have sworn that a look of relief crossed Spike's face, just for a moment, but it was gone so quickly that Xander couldn't be sure. The hands on his shoulders gently tugged him up and he rose, letting Spike take his hands and lead him down the hall.
"Xander," Spike breathed his name into his lips as the vampire walked backwards into the bedroom, pulling Xander into the room after him. "Lie back, luv. Just relax, let me," cool hands pressing him to the bed, settling him down. Long, slow kisses, tender, calm, nothing urgent, nothing demanded. Nothing but the feel of Spike worshipping his mouth. Xander's head began to spin. He felt drugged, drunk on the feel and taste, by the unreality of the scene. He struggled to open his eyes as Spike moved to kiss up and down his neck, careful, ever so careful not to linger on any one spot too long, not to let his teeth graze the tender skin, careful not to do anything that would cause Xander to fear him. "Xander," breathed into his ear as a cool tongue traced the curve.
Xander tried to move, to return some of the pleasure being given to him. But he couldn't, he couldn't seem to gather his wits together enough to do so. He felt a brief twinge of guilt, then suddenly he realised that the low noise in his ear was words, words directed to him.
"Shh, just be still. You are already giving me all I could desire, just enjoy. Just let me," the words were quiet, almost inaudible, but their meaning came through, penetrating the haze of pleasure in Xander's mind. He nodded slowly, then closed his eyes, giving himself over completely to Spike's hands. A stray thought flickered weakly *when did you start trusting him that much, just a few hours ago thought he was using you* only to die away.
Spike reluctantly pulled back, licking his lips to savoir the taste of Xander's sweat. He reached an arm behind Xander's back and pulled the warm body up, raising him enough to be able to pull the T-shirt over Xander's head, running a flat hand along Xander's chest as he did so, unwilling to lose contact with the glowing flesh. He settled Xander back down and returned to his self-appointed task of tasting every inch of Xander, of covering every bit of skin with tiny, biting kisses.
Time expanded, time contracted. Xander felt himself falling, falling into some warm sea of bliss he had never known existed. What was this slow and steady exploration, this examination of his body as if it were the first that Spike had ever touched? Where had this gentle being come from? Where indeed had Spike kept him hidden? He started to pant when those lips finally found his nipples, sucking them slowly, slowly, warm and wet. He was so hard, so hard, yet he never wanted this to end. He felt Spike raise his hips from the bed, felt his sweats ease down, but it was all part of this, part of the spell Spike had cast around them. Cool lips now moved up his legs, strong hands caressed his thighs. He moaned now, far past any shame, past any self-consciousness. There was only this, only them, only the amazing pleasure that Spike was giving to him, the pleasure Spike was placing at his feet, a shy gift freely given.
The moaning grew louder, ringing in Xander's ears as Spike kissed his way up Xander's thighs, lavishing attention on the soft, soft skin along his hipbones. Ever closer, inching in slowly, so slowly towards Xander's erection, the length bobbing with every beat of his heart.
"Xander," Spike's voice deep, harsh with longing.
Xander forced his eyes to open and meet Spike's, leaning up slightly from his nest in the pillows, seeing those perfect lips poised directly over his tip. He stared down, locking the sight forever in his memory. Then a quick nod and Spike dropped his head down, slowly taking Xander deeply in his mouth.
Xander crashed back down, strangled cries filling the room. Nothing had prepared him for this, for the feel of Spike's tongue tracing the vein, for the coolness of that mouth so perfect against his heat, for the cut of those cheekbones along his stomach. Nothing had ever even hinted at the feel of Spike's palm under his sac, the trace of fingertips along his base as Spike moved his head slowly along his shaft. Nothing. Everything. Heaven itself.
He tried to last, tried to make it go on and on, but he couldn't, he couldn't, not when he could slit open his eyes and see the object of his long denied desire wantonly sprawled between his thighs. He tried to gasp out a warning, but the sound was cut off in his throat. He came, arching in the air, arching into Spike's mouth, Spike moaning as well as he swallowed again and again and again. Xander shook beneath him, the intensity overwhelming.
Mindless moments, an eternity of time later Xander realised that Spike was gently washing him, wiping away the sweat that covered his body. He shivered a little, suddenly cold, only to feel a warm blanket drape over his body. His eyes fluttered shut again as he reached a hand back to pull Spike to rest behind him.
"Stay. Please, William." Xander felt cool arms wrap around his waist as Spike settled in behind him, spooning perfectly against his back.
"Wouldn't dream of leaving, Xander." Cool lips skimmed his ear as they nestled together, drifting off to sleep.