Comfortby Dark Childe
Spike thought his heart would explode when the door of the Summer's house closed, leaving him alone on the porch. She was rejecting him out of hand. Wouldn't even listen to his feelings, said they weren't real. Spike didn't know which was worse the pain or the anger. He couldn't take this anymore, unfortunately there wasn't a lot he could do about it. He reverted to usual behaviour. If nothing is going right drink, and it will go away. He got a bottle or maybe two or three and proceeded to lose himself inside of it, wandering the streets of Sunnydale aimlessly.
Spike pulled far enough out of his drunken stupor to realise it was nearly dawn and he was miles from his crypt. Instead he found himself standing outside Xander's apartment building. How did he get here. Maybe the boy would let him in to sleep the day, or maybe Buffy had told him about their encounter and he'd just stake him, put him out of his misery. Spike really wasn't sure which he wanted more right now. But he went and pounded on the door.
Xander wasn't sleeping. He hadn't slept at all that night. Hadn't slept since his girlfriend had left telling him she needed to find a normal life. No he was just staring at the ceiling when he heard the pounding begin at his door. "Whoever that is can go away, it's not even daylight yet." He shouted in the general direction of the door. The pound just continued and he faintly picked up a voice from the other side of the door.
"Let me in mate. I know it's not daylight yet, but it will be soon. I need a place to stay." Spike's voice was pleading.
Xander sighed, he didn't know why he was doing this, but he opened the door. He had laughed earlier when Buffy had told him Spike was in love with her, but now he just felt sympathy for the vampire. Girls were more trouble than they were worth, and he and Spike seemed to have an identical pathetic ability to choose them. "Come on in Spike. Sleep on the couch and do not put your boots up there. I'm going back to bed."
Spike came into the apartment but stared at Xander for a moment slightly shocked by his nonchalance at offering Spike a place to sleep for the day. He was even more surprised when Xander simply walked back into his bedroom and shut the door. Oh well, he certainly wasn't going to turn down the offer of a bed or rather sofa. He walked across the room and covered the windows with Xander's heavy drapes then dropped down on the sofa removing his boots first.
A few hours later Xander woke up having finally fallen asleep after leaving Spike in his living room. Even though he'd only had a few hours of sleep he felt energised and ready to face his day. He walked out of his room intending on going to the kitchen to make himself some breakfast when he noticed Spike asleep on his couch. The sleeping vampire had always intrigued him, even when Spike had been living in the basement with him. He looked so different asleep. All of the tension and harshness melted away from his face. He looked like pure innocence, an angel maybe. Today having curled up into a ball on Xander's couch he looked even more innocent, like a child. He just seemed so young. Xander wanted to take care of him. Xander shook his head, wondering where those types of thoughts came from and made his way to the kitchen.
He opened his refrigerator door to discover that he was completely out of anything even resembling food. He had meant to do his grocery shopping last night, but then Anya dropped her bombshell, and he had forgotten about it. Oh well, he'd just go now. He really should get some blood for Spike while he was out. He remembered Spike could be an even bigger annoyance than usual when he was hungry, and Xander was stuck with him until sundown anyway. Besides he didn't look as though he'd been feeding well lately. Okay here we go with the unintended thoughts again. Xander quickly jotted down a note to let Spike know where he was if he woke up before Xander got back and to warn him against various destructive behaviours and answering the phone. He didn't want to return to find his place trashed or have to explain to Buffy why he let the Bleached Wonder in last night.
The next several hours were a disaster. Xander's car broke down on his way to the supermarket. He had to walk to the bank to get enough money to pay the tow truck guy, who wouldn't take a cheque. He then had to take a cab to back to the grocery store where he ran into practically every adult he had ever known. He ran into ladies from his mother's bridge club. An old woman who had been Willow's next door neighbour when they were 10, his 4th grade teacher, a couple of school counsellors. The list seemed endless, and they all wanted an update on where his life was going. This made his shopping trip take much longer than he expected and then he had to take a cab back home. It was early afternoon when he finally came through the door to his apartment, utterly exhausted.
"Finally bring me my breakfast did you?" Spike asked, not taking his eyes off of the television where he was currently watching talk shows.
"Yes, I did, but if you want to eat anything mister, get your sorry self in here and help put away. House Rules." Xander was tired and annoyed himself, he wasn't going to give in to Spike over this.
"But I won't even eat all of that rot. Why should I have to put it up?" Spike whined.
"House rules. And anyway, you will eat it. Remember the basement. You about ate me out of house and home." Xander's voice was firm. Spike decided to not argue and just help.
When the food was put away and Xander and Spike had both prepared their meal of choice they both headed back into the living room. It was thankfully Xander's day off. He dropped down on the sofa next to Spike and watched the television for a while. He found it was actually kind of fun to sit and watch the utterly ridiculous people on shows like Rikki Lake and Jerry Springer. Made his own life seem normal and good in comparison also. He was enjoying himself. He and Spike talked about the shows and other unimportant issues both carefully skirting the reason that Spike had ended up here the night before. As the evening wore on they continued to chat and ate again, Spike proving Xander right by devouring an entire package of Oreo cookies by himself. Xander had expected Spike to leave as soon as dusk fell, but didn't really care whether Spike stayed. Xander surprised Spike by revealing that he had a hidden stash of Jack Daniels and they broke it out. They watched some dumb movie and when it was over they just talked. Finally Spike asked the question that had been on his mind all day. "So Xan, where's that demon of yours? I can't believe she'd leave you alone for two nights in a row." His voice was still light and conversational.
Xander frowned unsure if he wanted Spike to be the first person he would tell about Anya. He finally decided it was a good choice. He hadn't told his other friends because of what their reactions would be. Buffy would have her 'I'm going to kill the bitch' moment, Willow and Tara would get all mothering with him. He didn't want that. He just wanted to wallow for a little while. Spike should be able to understand that. So he spoke, "She's gone. When I came home yesterday, I found her with all of her stuff packed up. She told me she needed to find a normal life, that she didn't want to be surrounded by magic and demons now, she wanted to be just human, so she left. She isn't coming back. I loved her you know." He said it all in a matter of fact tone, as if it hadn't torn his heart out and left him bleeding.
"Yeah, I guess you did. But why didn't you go with her? You're normal enough, not a witch or the slayer. You could have left it all behind too." Spike was truly interested in the answer here. Xander was normal. Brave and strong, but entirely human. He didn't have to live
this life touched by the supernatural.
"She asked. But, how could I do it. It would mean leaving everyone, my friends behind. It would mean leaving the fight behind too. I can't do it. There have been times when Willow was all I had, and I was all she had. I can't leave her behind. And this is my fight now too. I know I don't bring any special skills to it, but now that I know what happens in the dark, how can I just let it be, when I can do something about it." Xander's words were sincere. There was a touch of resignation to them as well. "Maybe I just don't love her enough, but I can't leave them for her. Now let me ask you a question Spike. Why did you come here last night, and why did you try to find out if alcohol poisoning will kill a vampire? Was it Buffy?"
Spike sat completely still, and Xander thought for a moment that he wasn't going to answer. He saw emotions flicker across Spike's face, pain, anger, confusion. When he spoke it was barely a whisper, "She told me I couldn't love, that it wasn't possible. She told me to leave. Wouldn't even listen to me, hear what I had to say. I was going to stake Dru for her, to prove it to her, and she didn't even care." Spike had an expression that Xander had never seen on him before. He looked as though he was about ready to cry.
Xander tried to lighten the mood, "What a pair we are. Destined to fall for girls that won't appreciate us I guess. You've got Dru and Buffy, and I've got a long and rather embarrassing list including several demons and the May Queen. We really are rather pathetic." His tone was joking, but he believed the words also and Spike could here that in his voice. Somewhere along the line the alcohol had put them both into a mellow mood and apparently a sharing one also. Spike knew better than to fight it, he just went with it.
"Yeah, Women are a bloody mess. Some days I'd just like to get rid of them all, only deal with other blokes. More sensible anyway." Spike sensing Xander's need for the mood to shift answered in an equally light tone.
"But life would be much less fun without women. Well parts of it anyway." Xander answered blushing a little at his own words.
Spike took a moment to reply to that one. He could just let it go, or he could let Xander know that one doesn't have to have a woman to have fun. He didn't want to start something he wouldn't be willing to finish though. He looked Xander over for the first time really ever. He found that Xander was a beautiful young man, all long lines, smooth, firm muscle. Lovely dark hair, and eyes the colour of chocolate. Someone could drown in those eyes. He decided to go for it. He shifted so he was now leaning into Xander's body and his lips were mere inches from Xander's own mouth. "It doesn't always take women to have fun, pet. Men can have all kinds of fun, without them." His voice was low and husky.
A shiver went up Xander's spine with Spike's words. And his eyes were transfixed on Spike's lips. He couldn't tear them away or make his mind turn from the thought of closing that small gap between their lips. He closed his eyes and let his subconscious take over. His mouth met Spike's in a gentle kiss. Xander half-expected Spike to pull away in disgust, but he didn't. He just leaned in a little more, and licked at Xander's lips, seeking entrance. Xander granted it allowing the kiss to deepen. Xander's hands moved of their own volition, one to wrap around Spike's waist tugging him closer so that their bodies touched and the other tangling in Spike's hair. Spike pulled back gently looking at the young man in front of him. The scent of desire hung heavy in the air, but he wasn't sure, if Xander understood what was about to happen. He didn't want to hurt the boy, and that itself surprised him. He only wanted to offer comfort and be comforted in return, but he had to be sure. So he spoke, "Xander, are you sure. Do you want this?" His voice was low, seductive, even as he asked Xander to choose.
Xander nodded, "I'm sure. I need this; need you." His voice was soft but firm. He meant what he said, and if his words weren't enough his next actions would have been. He tugged at Spike until he was sitting astride his lap, and then slipped his hands up under Spike's shirt to slide it off of his body. Spike groaned lifting his arms so his T-shirt could finally come off. Xander's hands were seemingly covering every centimetre of his exposed flesh. Spike rocked his hips gently, enjoying the friction it caused, and set his own fingers to work on the buttons of Xander's shirt. pushing it down off his shoulders quickly. His traced a line along Xander's collarbone with his mouth stopping to suck and nip when he reached the hollow of Xander's throat, causing Xander to moan and thrust his hips up against Spike. Spike stood up, pulling Xander with him, never allowing their bodies to separate. He moved them into the bedroom.
They fell across the bed, bodies still touching, Spikes mouth still at Xander's Collarbone. Xander's hands exploring the cool flesh of Spike's chest. Spike moved for the zipper on Xander's jeans. He hooked his thumbs into the waistband of both jeans and boxers and pulled them down over Xander's hips. Xander thrust against him delighting in the sensation of rough denim brushing against his hardness. He whimpered at the loss when Spike pulled away, only to moan in delight when Spike returned to him fully nude. Xander revelled in the coolness of Spike's touch against the fevered heat of his own skin. They thrust and ground against each other until Xander was sure he wouldn't last another a minute. Then Spike stilled. He pulled his lower body off of Xander's and began to kiss, lick, and nip his way down Xander's body. His mouth not leaving a single inch of the bare flesh unexplored. Xander moaned and writhed against the mouth that seemed to be doing it's best to torture him. He thought he was going to die from anticipation before Spike ever got to his aching shaft. When Spike finally did reach Xander's erection, he dispensed with all teasing and swallowed his whole length in one motion. Spike used his tongue and teeth carefully, providing maximum sensation. He moved up and down the length of Xander's cock never ceasing his motions. He could feel Xander getting closer and closer to the edge. Xander thrust against Spike's mouth. He'd always been careful when Anya did this, afraid of hurting her, but he couldn't hurt Spike. It was liberating. A moment later he was hit with the most intense orgasm of his life, as Spike seemed to swallow him whole.
When Xander's orgasm had passed, Spike swallowing down all of the thick fluid, Spike moved again, dragging his body up Xander's until he reached his mouth again, where he pulled Xander into a passionate kiss. Xander could still taste the copper of Spike's dinner, and the cigarettes he had smoked earlier, but there was a new taste there as well. He could taste himself, mingled with the taste that was pure Spike. It was the most erotic sensation of his life, and he began to harden again.
Spike moved one hand up to cup Xander's cheek, when Spike finally pulled away from the kiss. He allowed his thumb to brush back and forth across Xander's lower lip. Xander sucked it into his mouth and gently stroked at it with his tongue. Spike moved his other fingers to Xander's mouth and Xander eagerly showed them the same attention. Spike pulled them free from Xander's mouth and moved his hand down between their bodies, trailing his cool damp fingers across Xander's searing hot skin. He stroked and pet Xander with those fingertips, every once in a while, returning them to Xander's warm mouth. He finally made his way to the tight rosette of muscle and gently stroked across it. He felt Xander tense up at the unfamiliar sensation and whispered soothing words to him, "It's okay pet, I won't hurt you. Relax for me now."
Xander responded to him his entire body relaxing when Spike slipped one long slim finger into Xander. It didn't hurt, felt a little strange but good, then he felt his body stretching as Spike slipped another finger in alongside the first. This time there was a little pain, but Xander quickly forgot it, when Spike hooked his fingers just a bit and brushed them against Xander's prostate. Sensation overwhelmed Xander, it was as if he was being shocked. Electric. Colour exploded behind his closed eyelids. He had never felt anything like this. He moaned deep in his throat and pushed back against Spike's hand when he inserted a third finger. Desire overcame him as he thrust helplessly against Spike's hand. He was devastated when he felt Spike slip his fingers away from his tight channel. He managed to gasp out a single word, "Please."
Spike was amazed at the reaction he was able to cause in this boy. It made him long to bring more and more pleasure to him, until he was nothing but a satisfied, quivering, mass. But he didn't want to hurt the boy, and he didn't have anything to lubricate himself with. Saliva had done just fine for the fingers, but he wanted something else for his own hard shaft. He answered Xander gently, "Xan, pet, I don't want to hurt you. Do you have anything to use."
Xander seemed a little confused at first, his brain was having trouble with higher functions like language. He finally processed the question. "Oil, in the drawer on the nightstand." He even managed to make a pretty coherent sentence. Spike obediently checked the drawer. Much to his surprise, there was an assortment of massage oils there. The demon chit must have left something after all, because he was certain that Xander would have never bought them himself. He grabbed one not bothering to check the scent and poured a generous amount into his hand, it was a vaguely earthy scent, green, nice. He coated himself with it. He then helped Xander position himself with one leg hooked up over Spike's shoulder and one wrapped tightly around his waist.
Spike slowly slid himself deep into Xander. When he was as deep as he could get, he stayed very still for a moment allowing Xander to adjust to his size and the unfamiliar sensation. Soon though Xander began to move against him and whimper softly. Spike began a slow gentle motion in and out of Xander's tight channel. Xander was lost in sensation. He felt complete in a way he never had before. He almost didn't even notice when Spike began to stroke his aching shaft in time with his own thrusting in and out of Xander's body. Spike had set a slow pace and this seemed to last a life time. A life time of intense pleasure, but finally Xander felt the pressure begin to build and new his release was near. He quickened their pace thrusting alternately up into Spike's hand and back against his cock. A moment later he reached his second climax of the night spurting warm milky fluid onto both his own and Spike's chests. A moment later Spike came as well, filling Xander with his own cool seed. Spike pulled out of Xander and then pulled him close. This was the part of sex that Spike had always enjoyed the most, the holding afterwards. Drusilla had thought him silly, but indulged him. Angelus couldn't be bothered with cuddling. Here though he had a warm human body that was willingly wrapping itself around him. Xander it seemed liked to cuddle, to hold and be held. Spike stroked his hair and gently kissed him. Xander was exhausted. He turned sleepy eyes to Spike and whispered barely audible, "Thank you. I needed comfort." He then burrowed deeper into Spike's embrace and fell asleep. Spike held Xander for a long time, watching him sleep. He very carefully got out of the bed about an hour before dawn. He left a note for Xander.
‘Thank You. Shared comfort is always best.
William’
He used his given name, because the sentiment was something Spike would never admit to, but William was much more of a romantic. Spike then slipped away to his crypt before daylight was allowed to change his mind.