In This Together
by RubyWisp
Part One
Xander awoke slowly, drifting lazily to consciousness, becoming aware of his surroundings one sensation at a time. The weight of the blankets on top of him, the fuzziness and pounding in his head that always accompanied his occasional forays into binge drinking, the softness of the pillow against his cheek. The sheets were cool against his bare feet, echoed by the coolness of the body lying pressed against his back.
((What the fuck?))
Moving didn't seem like an attractive option, given the pounding in his skull, so Xander lay very still and tried to remember why Spike was lying next to him. Waking up unable to remember the night before was bad. Waking up with a vampire wrapped around you - a male vampire, no less - was something that reached previously unknown levels of bad, in Xander's opinion.
Xander frowned slightly, struggling to recall the previous night. He remembered coming home from work, showering, changing and sitting down to watch TV. His frown deepened as he remembered Buffy coming over looking for Spike, and the argument that followed. Xander started to feel bad about losing his temper then shrugged to himself. ((It's not like I said anything that wasn't true. I'm not ignoring things to keep other people happy anymore.))
Xander realized that the pressure in his bladder was rapidly becoming more painful than his headache, so he pushed the blankets away and tried to sit up.
"Where d'you think you're goin'?" Spike said sleepily. He tightened his grip around Xander's waist and pulled Xander back down on the bed. "Come back here, boy."
Xander rolled his eyes at the 'boy' and said, "Spike, you have two choices. Let me get up now, or we're both getting up in a few minutes to change the sheets after I wet the bed." He smiled widely at the vampire when Spike abruptly let go of him.
"S'all you had to say, pet. No need to make threats." Spike opened one eye and watched Xander struggle to get out of bed without jarring his aching head. "One of the many advantages to bein' a vampire, luv. Hangovers will be easier and y'won't need to piss." He closed his eye again and snuggled deeper into the pillows, pulling the blankets back up around his shoulders. "Hurry back, you're a nice heater. Want to enjoy it while it lasts."
Xander nodded absently as he left the bedroom and gingerly made his way into the bathroom to relieve his bladder. When he finished, Xander stared at his dishevelled appearance in the mirror over the sink as he washed his hands and brushed his teeth. ((I'm pretty grimy. Might as well take a shower while I'm in here. Oh wait, clean clothes first.))
He wasn't ready to deal with the vampire sleeping in his bed, so he dug through the clean laundry in the basket in the living room to find another pair of sweat pants. Once back in the bathroom, Xander stripped off his dirty sweats and put them in the hamper. He stepped into the shower and turned it on, adjusting the temperature until the water was as ho t as he could stand comfortably. Xander stepped under the spray and tilted his head back, enjoying the feel of the hot water pounding against his skin, warming him up and easing the tension in his muscles.
((If Spike wants heat, he ought to come take a shower. This feels fantastic.))
((By himself. Take a shower by himself. Later. Not with me.))
Xander chuckled. ((I'm panicking in my own head. That's not good.)) Suddenly, what Spike had said sank in. (('While it lasts?' What does that mean, 'while it lasts?' Why would I be not-warm anytime soon?))
In a rush, the memories of the night before came back to him. The alcohol, the sadness, the eerie detachment that seized him as he cut his arm... Xander jerked and looked at his forearm in surprise. He could see a faint cut there but it looked like an old one, not something that had happened just last night. ((What the...?))
Then he remembered Spike licking his bleeding arm ((does vamp spit have healing powers?)) and the hungry but-not-for-blood look on Spike's face as he did it.
((Holy shit. Oh man. That was...well, it felt good actually, but - fuck!))
Xander remembered Spike sitting on the edge of the bed, his hand cupping Xander's face, eyes sincere as he said, "I came back for you like I said I would. I want you with me, Xander; by my side, at my feet and in my bed."
((Backing away from the use of the word 'fuck', then.))
He remembered Spike's grin at his discomfort and his assurance (which Xander supposed was meant to be comforting, although it didn't seem comforting now) that "the idea won't bother you once I've turned you."
((Turned? But he can't...))
Then he remembered the last piece of information his post-drinking-binge-brain had been keeping from him. "Don't want the Slayer findin' out about my newly-dysfunctional chip before I'm ready, do I?" ((Maybe fuck was the right word after all. Son. Of. A. Bitch.)) Starting to panic and feeling the muzziness of the hangover disappear as adrenalin flooded his body, Xander finished showering quickly.
As he towelled dry and put his sweats on, Xander's mind was racing. ((Can't say being turned has ever been a secret fantasy of mine.))
((Sex with Spike, on the other hand...))
((Arrgh! Do NOT start with that! Still no time for a psychotic break!))
Xander hung up his wet towel and stood for moment, trying to think of a plan for dealing with an 'un-chipped and wanting-to-turn-Xander' Spike. He opened the bathroom door slowly, peering around its edge into the living room. ((No sign of Spike. Must still be asleep.))
Xander grabbed a T-shirt from the top of the laundry basket and put it on. Then he went into the kitchen, poured himself a glass of orange juice, and grabbed a couple of packages of frosted cherry Pop-Tarts and a bag of Cheetos. Xander went into the living room and pulled the dark curtains back from the sliding-glass doors, enjoying the soothing warmth of the sun on his skin. He heard the bed creak as Spike turned over, and the panic that had started to dissipate as he looked out over the balcony came rushing back.
Seizing on the first idea that came to him, Xander pulled the heavy curtains open the rest of the way. He opened the sliding door and stepped outside. Setting the snacks and juice on a small table, Xander pulled a chair into the corner of the balcony farthest away from the door and sat down to wait for Spike to wake up. He thought it was probably around two in the afternoon, judging from the sun, and figured he'd end up with at least a few hours of daylight in which to convince the vampire not to turn him. Ripping open the Cheetos, Xander sat back, put his feet up on the table in front of him, and tried to plan just how in the hell he was supposed to accomplish that.
A couple of hours later he still didn't know.
He *had* remembered that it was Tuesday, which meant that he'd missed work. He hadn't bothered trying to call - Xander was terrible at lying, telling the truth wasn't an option ((Sorry, boss - can't come in today. I'm hiding from a vampire who wants to make me his Childe. Hiding on my balcony, no less.)) and he didn't want to risk leaving the safety of the sunlight to get the phone anyway. But he was still without a plan for dealing with Spike, he realized only semi-hysterically ((do I get points for 'semi'?)) when he heard the bed creak again as Spike got up. ((Time for some patented Xander-Babble-on-the-Fly.)) Taking a deep breath to help calm himself, he waited.
He didn't have to wait long.
"What you doin' out there, whelp? Hiding?" Xander could hear the smirk in Spike's voice. "The sun'll go down eventually. Then what?"
"I'm not hiding!" Xander lied, shifting uncomfortably in his chair. "I'm just buying some time. I want to talk to you, and I want you to have to listen to me." He could see Spike leaning against the wall near the door to the bedroom, standing just out reach of the sunlight let in by the sliding-glass door.
Spike raised one eyebrow and folded his arms across his naked chest. "Talk to me about what?"
"Me being turned. Or rather, me not being turned," Xander said nervously.
Spike's eyebrows rose in unison at that. "Pet, I thought we'd talked about this. You're. Mine. Hell, you knew before I did. You were ready for me to turn you last night, remember?""Well, yeah," Xander said, nodding his head. He picked up the now-empty Pop-Tarts wrapper and began ripping it into tiny pieces. "It's just - I was pretty drunk. And depressed." Spike snorted and nodded his head in agreement. "I don't think I'm ready to die, Spike. C'mon - me as one of the evil undead?" He laughed, his voice shaky. "Can you imagine?"
Spike eyed Xander speculatively. Cocking his head, Spike smirked as he let his gaze roam freely over Xander's body, drinking in the sight of his well-muscled arms, his broad hands, his thighs. Spike grinned wider; he could practically feel Xander blushing. Casting one last look at Xander's crotch, he raised his eyes slowly to meet the other man's. In his most seductive voice he purred, "Most definitely, luv." It took all of Spike's self-control not to laugh out loud at the sudden jump in Xander's heart rate.
Deliberately misinterpreting the panicked look on Xander's face, he added, "It's the whole 'evil' thing, innit? Don't worry 'bout that - I'll make sure Red curses ya good and proper."
"Huh?" Xander asked. He shook his head, blushing. "Sorry, I missed that. What'd you say?"
"The curse. You're worried 'bout bein' evil. Said I'd get Red to curse you." This is too easy, Spike thought. ((Still fun, though.))
"Oh, yeah. Good. Thanks." Xander's eyes narrowed and he sat up straight. "Wait - you're evil!"
Spike rolled his eyes. "So?"
"So why do you care if I have a soul or not, huh?" Xander asked, suspicious.
((Smart boy. Always thinkin'. You're gonna be delicious.))
Spike stood up straight and tried his best to look trustworthy. "Because I like you. The way you are now - always laughin' and playin' around. You've got heart enough for the both of us, an' I'm not sure you'd stay that way without a soul. I ain't takin' any chances."
"I thought you hated Angel," Xander said. He put the shredded remains of his Pop-Tart wrapper into his empty juice glass and set the glass on the table.
"What the hell does that ponce have to do with anything?" Spike asked, confused.
Xander propped his feet up on the table in front of him, "Why do you want me to have a soul, like Deadboy, if you can't stand him?"
"I don't hate Angel," Spike said. "Where'd you get an idea like that?"
"Let's recap." Xander held up one finger. "You helped send him to Hell -"
"So did you," Spike pointed out.
"*I* never said I didn't hate him," Xander shot back.
Spike snorted and shrugged. "Fine. I helped send him to Hell. And?"
Xander held up a second finger. "You went to L.A. and tortured him for hours -"
"Oi!" Spike was indignant. "Did not! Marcus tortured him. I just - watched." Spike thought for a moment. "OK, I helped a little," he admitted, recalling the hot pokers he'd ran happily through his Sire's body. "But the soddin' poof deserved it. That bloody Gem was mine."
"Whatever, Bleach Boy." Xander held up a third finger. "I happen to know a thing or two about Sire's blood and vampire healing, thanks to Giles's books. Angel could have gotten you out of that wheelchair a long time before you managed it on your own. And I *know* he had to be doin' your girl while you couldn't." He grinned, sure he'd argued his case successfully. "You can't tell me you don't hate him for that, Spike."
Spike frowned, realizing he'd lost control of the conversation. "Wasn't Angel. It was Angelus."
Xander snorted. "Angel, Angelus, po-tay-toe, po-tah-toe. C'mon, you don't really buy into all his 'it wasn't me' crap, do you?"
"It *wasn't* him!" Spike retorted, growing visibly upset. "You don't know what you're talking about! That brooding, mournful nancy-boy in L.A. isn't Angelus. He's not fit to lick the mud off Angelus' boots!" He disappeared for a moment, returning with a lit cigarette firmly between his lips. "You've seen 'im, Xander. He walks different, he talks different. Peaches is *not* Angelus."
"So you prefer the insane drag-the-whole-world-into-Hell version I take it," Xander said dryly.
"Didn't say that, now did I?" Spike laughed at Xander's look of confusion. Taking a deep pull on his cigarette, Spike said, "I prefer the Angelus that sired me. Not Soulboy, not the whackjob, but my Sire."
"What's the difference between the Angelus we saw and your Sire?" Xander asked. He couldn't believe Spike was telling him all of this. "How are they different?"
"For starters, the new one's nuttier 'n a fuckin' fruitcake. Ending the world..." Spike snorted disgustedly and took another hit off his cigarette. "Who the fuck wants to send the world to Hell? Full demons ain't exactly fond of us vamps - we'd be as badly off in Hell as you lot would. Wanker didn't think of that, though."
Spike bounced lightly on his toes, unable to stand still, the sun coming from the open door preventing him from pacing. "No. All he can think of is bein' the bloke 'worthy' enough to call some demon from beyond and end history. Bloody idiot s'what he was." He looked at Xander, a strange softness in his eyes. "My Sire wouldn't have left me in that bleedin' wheelchair. He'd have fed me Sire's blood till I healed."
Xander wanted to mention that he didn't consider that a point in *anybody's* favour, since a healthy Spike would have just gone back to trying to kill him and his friends. But he also wanted to see what else Spike would say, so he kept his mouth shut.
Spike took the cigarette out of his mouth and finished, "My Angelus would have killed every single one of those Initiative wankers with his bare hands for what they did to me. And I bloody well wouldn't have been chained in the soddin' Watcher's tub or beggin' for animal blood and forced to help the bloody Slayer in order to stay alive." He threw the cigarette outside, leaned against the wall, and stared morosely at the floor.
Before he was aware of what he was doing, Xander was up out of his chair, in the apartment and hugging Spike. While he was still trying to think of something comforting to say, Spike spoke. "I think your heart's bigger'n your brain, Doughnut Boy."
((Oh shit!)) Xander moved to back away, but Spike already had his arms wrapped firmly around Xander's waist. He laughed. "Where d'you think you're goin'? I just got ya where I want you - M'not lettin' go."
Xander tilted his head back and looked Spike in the eye. "That whole sob story was just to get me in here? Bastard!"
Spike inclined his head politely, "Ta, pet. And no, it wasn't. Have to admit, I got a bit caught up in what I was sayin' and forgot for half a mo' about tryin' to get you inside." He grinned, a satisfied look on his face. "Worked bloody well, though."
Xander was suddenly very conscious of the fact that he was holding a half-naked ((unchipped!)) Spike in his arms. ((Well, OK, I guess I'm the one being held, but still...)) "Spike? Uh...let go of me?" he asked without much hope.
Spike smirked. "Don't think I will, luv." He tightened his hold on Xander. "Like I said, you're right where I want you," he teased, waggling his eyebrows at a furiously blushing Xander. "'Sides, I don't fancy you runnin' back out into the sun."
Xander grinned hugely, amusement twinkling in his eyes. "You have to admit that was a pretty good idea."
"Yeah it was," Spike said approvingly. "Until you stopped thinkin' and ran back in here just so's you could make me feel better." Spike sighed deeply. "I'm touched, Xan. You gave up hours of hidin' on a glorified ledge in favour of comfortin' me." When Xander looked frustrated, Spike winked. "Teasin', pet - relax. I'll still listen to what you've got to say."
"You will?" Xander asked, incredulous. He'd been sure he was going to have to plead his case to Spike from outside and would still end up dead before the next sunset. ((Of course, you know this doesn't mean you won't. He's going to listen - that's all. He didn't say he wasn't going to kill you.)) Xander shushed his inner voice and focused on Spike again. "Why?"
Spike shrugged his shoulders. "'Cause I want to hear what you think might change my mind. 'Cause you listened to me ramble about the poof. 'Cause I ain't hungry yet. Does it matter?"
Xander gulped at the word 'hungry'. "Guess I should start talking, before you change your mind about being hungry."
Spike nodded. "Right." He grabbed Xander's hand and pulled him into the bedroom. Shutting the door, he nodded in the direction of the bed. "Have a seat. Start talkin'." Spike slid to the floor and sat with his back against the door, effectively cutting off Xander's only escape route. He snorted when he noticed Xander eyeing the window. "We're three stories up, pet. Calm down - I said I'd listen."
Xander took a deep breath and sat down on the edge of the bed. "The thing is, I don't really have anything else *to* say." He made a face and looked at Spike. "'Please don't turn me, I don't want to die'? Pretty much all I had."
Spike goggled at Xander for a moment before bursting into laughter. "That's your grand plan? That's how you beg for your life? Bloody hell, pet, you are a treasure."
Xander frowned. "I don't think well when I'm panicking," he explained.
"You had hours to think of something," Spike pointed out gleefully.
"Fine. So I suck at pleading for my life. Does that mean you're going to kill me now?" Xander tried to hide his terror by looking at the floor.
Spike stopped laughing and looked at Xander for a long moment. "Why don't you try fighting?"
Xander's head shot up. "What?"
"Why haven't you tried to fight?" Spike asked. He looked at Xander thoughtfully, his head cocked to one side. "You've got practice fightin' vamps, why are you just tryin' to talk me out of turnin' you? Why'd you sit outside waitin' for me to wake up instead of stakin' me in m'sleep or leavin'? Could've gone to the Slayer - she'd have kept you safe from me."
Xander shrugged. "Dunno," he mumbled.
"Yes, you do. Tell me," Spike commanded, looking at him intently.
Xander hung his head and sighed. "I guess..." he began, and then stopped. He stood up and started pacing around the bed, not looking at Spike. "I don't want to stake you, Spike. I don't mind this...whatever this is. With the belonging and all," he admitted, blushing slightly. "I - I kinda like it, actually." ((Did I really just admit that?)) Spike's eyebrows rose and he smiled, but stayed silent.
"But - dead? Vampire? Me? I've spent the last six years helping Buffy kill vampires, Spike. I dusted my best friend after he was turned. I don't want to be one myself." He stopped walking, but still didn't meet Spike's eyes. "At least not...not now. And I didn't run to Buffy because I want..." He trailed off, unsure how to say it.
"Tell me," Spike said softly. "Tell me what you want, Xander. If I can give it to you, I will." He waited silently, not moving a muscle. ((C'mon pet, let's have it. Show me you got a pair.))
Xander took a deep breath and met Spike's eyes squarely. Trying not to betray the almost overwhelming nervousness he felt, he said, "I want you."
Xander grinned with relief at having gotten it out and then added quietly, "I want you to finish what you and Angel started back in the high school."
"To belong to me?" Spike asked. He didn't want a half-arsed confession from the boy. He wanted it all.
Xander nodded. "Yeah."
"Say it," Spike demanded.
Xander gulped. "I want...I want to belong to you."
Spike favoured Xander with one of his rare blinding smiles. "I'm right impressed, luv. Guess I was wrong. You've got a bloody big set o'knackers on you after all." He stood up and stretched, arching his back and reaching his hands toward the ceiling. "Didn't think you'd actually say it."
"'Knackers'?" Xander asked, confused. He wrinkled his brow, trying to translate.
Spike walked over to Xander and stood close. Very close, Xander noted. He gasped when Spike reached down between them and gently cupped Xander's balls. "These," Spike said, not taking his hand away.
"Oh." Xander gulped and wondered what Spike would do if he moved. Wondered if he wanted to move.
((Hey! None of that! No wanting-to-have-sex-with-Spike thoughts allowed!))
Xander's legs voted for moving. Unfortunately, Spike was too close in front, the bed was too close behind, and when he tried to move all he succeeded in doing was falling backward onto the bed. "Oof!" he said, the breath knocked out of his lungs as Spike fell on top of him. ((Shit.))
"Nice, pet. Didn't have to go to all that trouble, though. Could've just asked." Spike shifted so that he was lying with his legs on either side of Xander's hips. Propping himself up on one elbow, he brushed Xander's too-long hair back from his face. "You haven't cut it since your wedding-that-wasn't, have you?"
Xander shook his head 'no', brain screaming at him to move, his body telling him that he was more than happy where he was, thank you very much.
"S'nice. I like it. Let it grow," Spike ordered. He smirked when Xander opened his mouth to protest. "What? You're mine. I'll tell you to grow your bleedin' hair if I please." He leaned down and drew Xander's earlobe into his mouth, sucking gently. When Xander gasped, Spike let go of it and whispered, "Don't y'wanna please me, pet?"
Xander gulped.
Spike licked the patch of skin just under Xander's ear. Alternating licks and kisses, he worked his way down Xander's jawline and then to his throat. Reaching the pulse that beat in the hollow there, Spike stopped and sucked the skin softly.
"Y'taste so good." Spike's voice was husky when he spoke. He bent his head to Xander's neck again and dragged his teeth along Xander's collarbone, grinning when Xander shivered. Licking the same spot, he repeated, "So good."
Xander shivered again. He tried to form some kind of rational thought, but it was more than a little difficult, what with every available brain cell he had trying to process the sensations Spike was causing in his body. He whimpered and tried to speak. "Spike."
Spike took his hand away from Xander's hair and reached down to grab his wrist. Spike put Xander's hand up over his head, and moved so he could do the same with the other one. "Don't move, luv," he said. He started sucking the spot behind Xander's other ear, making the man beneath him moan.
Xander tried again. "Spike. Spike!" ((Oh don't stop that feels so good who knew oh man)) "C'mon - stop for sec, all right?" he begged. As Spike continued his assault on Xander's neck, he wriggled a bit and tried pushing Spike's head away. "Spike, please."
Spike sighed and dropped his head onto Xander's shoulder. ((Bloody children and their soddin' sexual identity crises.)) "What?" he growled. "Lemme guess - you're not gay."
"Well yeah, there is that. Not that I've never wondered before - kind of a funny story, actually." Xander let go of Spike's head and folded his hands behind his own. "Don't suppose you feel like moving?" Spike shook his head, waiting. Xander sighed and started talking.
"After Anya and I saw you with the Buffybot - " Spike growled and Xander laughed. "After we saw you I went to Buffy and confronted her about it. I was trying to sound understanding and non judgmental... Buffy ended up telling me that she wasn't having sex with you, but she thought maybe *I* was." He remembered the way he'd scoffed at Buffy's statement. "I've thought about it once or twice since then, but mostly in a 'hell no, I'm not gay' sense. Can't say I ever wanted to explore my sexuality, no matter what Larry thought."
Spike lifted his head and looked at Xander. "Who's Larry?"
Xander opened his mouth, ready to tell Spike the entire - and no doubt, long - story. Spike shook his head. "Never mind. Don't really wanna know." He cocked his head at Xander, considering. "What did you say?"
"Huh?" Xander asked, confused.
"To the Slayer. Why'd she think we were shaggin'?"
"Oh. Er..." Xander stopped, clearly embarrassed.
Spike laughed and lightly ground his hips into Xander's. "S'not like I don't already know you like me, luv. 'Fess up - what'd you say?" He laid his face back in the crook of Xander's neck, licked slowly once, and waited.
Xander leaned his head against Spike's, closed his eyes, and sighed. "I said you were strong and mysterious." He paused briefly at Spike's soft snort. "And - and compact. Well-muscled." Xander blushed again. ((I think I'm setting some kind of Guinness World Record here. Though without official observers.))
Spike bit his lip and tried not to laugh. "You make a habit of commentin' on other blokes like that, luv?"
Xander scrunched up his face but didn't answer.
Spike looked up at Xander, eyes twinkling. "You don't think I'm gonna let you get away with not tellin' me? Out with it."
Xander rolled his eyes and blew his hair off his forehead. "I once told Willow that Angel was buff. And attractive. Very attractive." He paused. "You're laughing."
"Am not," Spike choked out, face buried in Xander's neck again, shoulders heaving.
"You are! I know laughing when I - well, not when I hear it, not in this case, because you're doing it quietly, but I know laughing and that's it!" Xander tried to push Spike away.
Spike refused to be moved, however, and grabbed Xander's wrists, pinning them to the bed. Still smiling, he asked, "Are we done yet? As interestin' as your little history of denial is, I'm tired of talkin'."
"Really?" Xander swallowed, suddenly nervous again. "Don't suppose you're up for some fun and wholesome video-game playing? Tekken 3 maybe?" He looked at Spike hopefully.
Spike smirked. "I want to play all right. Not any soddin' video games, though." Spike bent his face to Xander's and kissed him lightly. Looking Xander in the eye he said, "Play with me, Xan?"
((Holy fuck. How does he do that? He should bottle it and sell it. He'd be richer than Bill Gates by the end of the year.))
"Do I have a choice?" Xander asked. "It's not like I could get away from you if I tried, now could I?"
Spike rolled off Xander and onto the bed. "You're asking the wrong question, pet." He grinned as Xander looked confused yet again.
Xander turned onto his side, facing Spike. Propping himself up on his elbow, he asked. "What is the question then, Hamlet?"
In a flash, Spike moved till he was lying on his side in an echo of Xander's position, their bodies scant inches apart. "The question," he said, bringing his hand up and brushing his thumb against Xander's lower lip. "The question," he repeated, "is whether or not you *want* to get away from me." Spike watched intently, his eyes darkening slightly, as Xander licked his lips. "I don't think you do."
Xander lay down and folded his hands behind his head again. He glanced at the sexy blond vampire lying next to him.
((No no no no no - what do you think you're doing?!))
((Oh shut up. The only person you're still fooling is yourself.))
"Probably not," he admitted. "So what does that make me?"
"Mine." Spike growled, before diving on top of Xander and covering Xander's lips with his own.
Xander stiffened briefly, then relaxed; Spike felt Xander's arms wind around Spike's neck, pulling him closer, one hand tangled in his hair. ((Nice. Whelp learns fast. Like that.)) He ran his tongue along Xander's lower lip. ((C'mon, open up...)) Xander complied with his silent request, and Spike slipped his tongue between Xander's lips; swirling, sucking, fucking Xander's mouth.
Xander's breathing hitched, and he pulled away. "Fuck, Spike," he gasped, trying to regain his equilibrium.
"S'what I'm tryin' to do, pet, if you'd shut your gob for more'n two minutes." Spike said. Seduction was well and good - fun, even - but if he didn't get Xander naked and writhing soon, he was gonna have to go out and kill somebody.
"I will. Promise. It's just - you never answered my question..." Xander trailed off and looked at Spike questioningly.
Spike slowly beat his head against Xander's chest in frustration. "What question, you great bloody git?"
"Way to be seductive, Fangle...um, Spike." Xander winced at the reminder of Spike's no-longer-harmless state.
"Xander," Spike ground out between clenched teeth, head still on Xander's chest. "If you bloody well don't speak up *now*, I'm goin' to rip your arm out of its socket and fuck you with that instead of m'cock. Now what the hell do you want?"
Xander ignored what he hoped was an idle threat. "You never told me whether you decided not to turn me. Yet. Or whatever. But you never answered me when I asked." Xander chewed his bottom lip. "Like I said - not ready to die here."
Spike raised his head and met Xander's worried gaze. He studied Xander's face for a moment, thinking. "No. I won't turn you. Not sayin' I never will - I ain't promisin' that - but not now. Satisfied?"
Xander started to ask why Spike was willing to give him this much when he didn't have to, but stopped cold at the glower on Spike's face. "Yeah," he said, nodding his head. "For now."
Spike didn't answer, choosing instead to plunder Xander's mouth with his tongue. This time, Xander joined in without hesitation. The two men wrapped arms and legs around each other, trying to get closer, each attempting to devour and be devoured.
Xander broke the kiss first. He licked and nipped and sucked at Spike's jaw, moving down his body until he reached Spike's chest. He flicked one nipple with his fingertip, grinning as it hardened under his touch. Sucking the tiny nub into his mouth, he licked and bit it gently, making Spike groan.
"Fuckin' hell, you've got too many clothes on," Spike said, beginning to pant. He reached between them with one hand and ripped Xander's T-shirt in two.
Xander laughed to himself and worried Spike's nipple harder between his teeth. He helped Spike remove his tattered shirt, pulling him close again once it was gone. He groaned and felt his already-swelling cock harden further at the sensation of Spike's soft cool skin against his own.
Spike kissed and licked Xander's neck, revelling in the taste and feel of the salty warm skin in his mouth. ((Should've done this a long fuckin' time ago)) He wedged his knee between Xander's thighs, moving his legs apart. Straddling Xander's leg for better friction, Spike began rocking his hips slowly. Xander threw his head back and groaned as sharp bursts of pleasure exploded in his belly with every move Spike's hips made against his own.
Spike moved off of Xander, and the brunet moaned in disappointment. "Damn it Spike, now what?"
((That's more like it.)) "Just removin' a few obstacles," Spike said as he quickly stripped Xander's sweats off and threw them on the floor; his borrowed pair following seconds later.
Xander almost stopped breathing as Spike lay on top of him again. "Nice surprise you've got for me there, pet." Spike purred, rubbing himself against Xander's heavy erection. "The demon girl's sex obsession makes a bit more sense now."
Xander blushed. ((Something you think I'd be past, seeing as how I'm lying in bed - naked! - with Spike on top of me.)) "Yeah, well - you didn't think she loved me for my money-making skills, did you?"
Spike laughed and began moving his body against Xander's again. "Got me there. Should've guessed." He bent down and began covering Xander's chest with licks and kisses, still grinding his hips slowly. "Shut up. Less talkin', more shaggin'."
Xander agreed with this sentiment wholeheartedly. He ran his hands up and down Spike's back, enjoying the feel of the muscles clenching and shifting under the cool skin. Spike ground against him harder in encouragement and Xander scratched the smooth back lightly, wanting to see what kind of reaction he'd get. He was more than pleased when Spike growled and demanded, "Harder." Xander obeyed happily, drawing his fingernails roughly down the vampire's back.
When Spike bit his nipple, just a little too hard ((not that I'm complaining at *all*)) and moved even faster against Xander's engorged cock, he said, "Spike..."
Spike growled again, his message of 'Shut the fuck up' as clear as if he'd said it aloud. Xander laughed a little and tried again. "Spike, c'mon - you have to stop that."
"I take back what I said about not killin' you," Spike said menacingly. "Less talkin', more shaggin', remember?"
"Yeah. But the shagging's gonna be over in about four seconds if you don't stop what you're doing." Xander said. He bit his lip and held back a moan. "It's been awhile, you know?"
Spike stilled and looked at Xander. His hungry gaze travelled across the boy's flushed face and tanned skin, covered in a light sheen of moisture, and Spike's lips curved in satisfaction. He stuck out his tongue and licked a bead of sweat from where it was rolling down Xander's neck.
((Bloody gorgeous, he is.))
((Mine.))
Spike felt a rush of possessiveness, and smirked at the man beneath him. ((Right where I want 'im, indeed.))
Silently, he began kissing Xander thoroughly, biting his lower lip, swirling his tongue around in Xander's mouth, laying claim to what was his. He resumed rocking against Xander, moving faster, thrusting harder, ignoring Xander's strangled protestations that he was about to cum.
((Mine.))
With a cry Xander came, his body shaking. "Fuck, Spike, I told you," he said, disappointment colouring his voice.
Spike kissed him long and hard before answering. "You're what, 21? 22? And you haven't had sex in a couple of months?"
"Twenty-one and thanks for the reminder, Tactful Man," Xander said dryly. He ran his hands through his hair and sighed. "What's your point? You do have one, I assume."
Spike whacked Xander lightly on the head. "'Course I do, moron." He moved slowly, grinding in a circular motion against Xander's soft cock, which began to harden again instantly. Spike grinned. "And there it is. You're barely out of your teens - it's the closest thing you lot get to vampire recovery time."
Xander propped himself up on his elbows and let his head fall back. He groaned. "Thank God for overactive hormones." He thrust up against Spike, trying to get more friction on his cock.
Spike met his thrusts for a few moments, the two of them lost to pleasure. All too quickly, Spike pulled away. "Wha - get back here!" Xander demanded frantically, trying to wrap his legs around Spike and keep him from moving away. "What are you doing?"
"Wanna fuck you," Spike said, eyeing the nightstand still crammed with empty beer bottles from the previous night. "Where - " he began, but Xander interrupted.
"In the drawer. There's a bottle of lotion." Spike leaned over and scrabbled through the drawer for the make-shift lubricant. Xander felt a jolt of fear race up his spine at the idea of actually being fucked. ((If I'm gonna trust him not to kill me, I guess I can trust him to...fuck me. I can do this. Right?))
Spike squirted some lotion on his hand and looked up in time to see the flicker of fear pass across Xander's face. Spike looked at Xander seriously. "Listen pet, you'll be all right if you relax and trust me."
Xander nodded, taking a deep breath, trying to let go of the nervousness he felt. "I can do that," he said, out loud this time.
"Good." Spike watched Xander for a moment, seeing the fear and nervousness warring with lust in his eyes. Reaching down, he took Xander's cock in his hand and began pulling gently. He noted with satisfaction when the lust in those dark eyes began to drown out everything else. Xander's eyes were so dilated they were almost black. "That's it, luv. Stop thinkin' - just feel it. Feel me touchin' you. You like that, don't you?"
Xander nodded. He was incapable of forming actual words now. He arched his back and spread his legs slightly, begging for more. More of what, he didn't know. Just. More. He sucked in a sharp breath as Spike's hand moved from his shaft to his balls, fondling and caressing them, squeezing slightly. He moaned as he felt Spike's fingers circling his entrance, teasing him. "Sp..Spike..God...please..."
Spike reached for the lotion and squirted some more into his palm. "'Please' what, luv? What do you want? Tell me - tell me what you want." He bit his lip at the sheer beauty of Xander lying in front of him, out of his mind with lust. "I wanna hear you say it, Xan. Say it for me. Tell me."
Xander opened his eyes for a moment and watched Spike watching him. He groaned at the passion he saw in the dark blue eyes. "Fuck me, Spike. Please. Just fuck me." Closing his eyes again, he lay down flat on his back, no longer having the strength to hold himself up. "Fuck me," he said hoarsely, all thoughts of embarrassment or shame gone.
Spike bit his lip hard enough to draw blood at the tone in Xander's voice and began moving his fingers over Xander's ass. He watched, entranced by the way Xander quivered under his touch, hypnotized by the boy shaking his head from side to side and sucking on his bottom lip as Spike slowly slid one finger inside him.
Xander whimpered and spread his legs wider, begging. Spike fisted Xander's cock slowly as he manoeuvred another finger into Xander's hole. "So tight," he breathed, feeling his own cock harden even further at the wantonness of the sight before him. "So fuckin' gorgeous, you are, like this." He added a third and gently moved his fingers inside of Xander, spreading them wider, stretching him, wanting to do what he could to ensure Xander felt no pain. He crooked his fingers slightly and grinned as Xander bucked wildly, shouting as Spike grazed his prostate. "Like that?" he asked, doing it again.
"Oh, fuck...sonofa...man...ohhhhhh" Xander groaned. He whimpered when Spike pulled his fingers out of Xander's body.
"Just a second." Spike put more lotion on his hand and slathered it liberally over his erect cock. Next he grabbed a couple of pillows and arranged them comfortably under Xander's hips. Finally, he slid between the brunet's legs to give him a deep, scorching kiss. "Ready then?" he asked.
Xander opened his eyes and bit Spike's chin lightly. "Been ready."
Spike grinned and moved back down Xander's body. "Right." He pushed Xander's knees up toward his chest. Lightly pressing the tip of his cock against Xander's opening, he said, "Look at me."
Xander obeyed, his brown eyes locked on Spike's blue ones. He sucked in his breath as he felt Spike begin to slide inside him. "Relax. Let it out. Breathe deep and slow. Doesn't have to hurt," Spike told him, his eyes never leaving Xander's face.
Xander nodded once and breathed in and out slowly, consciously making an effort to relax his muscles. A surprised, almost innocent smile began to spread across his face when he felt Spike's cock enter him further, stretching and filling him with nearly no pain. "Oh man," he moaned. "That's...wow."
Spike groaned as his cock sank into Xander to the hilt. He stilled for a moment, gaining control of himself and allowing Xander's body a moment to adjust. He looked at Xander and cocked one eyebrow, silently asking if Xander was ready for more.
Xander nodded once, biting his lip hard as Spike pulled out almost all the way and then shoved back in again. Xander thrust his hips up to meet him, wanting more, wanting to be fucked harder and faster.
"That's beautiful, pet," Spike purred, moving his cock faster in and out of Xander's tight channel. ((Love virgins.)) "Fuck me. Fuck me back hard, luv." He gripped Xander's hips tightly and began thrusting in and out in earnest, head down, eyes closed, lost to everything but the feeling of Xander's tight heat around his cock.
Xander fisted the bed sheets with both hands, grabbing and twisting as Spike pounded into him. He moaned and babbled, unaware of what he was saying, not even sure it was English. It was all he could do just to ride wave after wave that crashed through his body every time the blunt head of Spike's cock hit his prostate. He reached down to grab his own shaft, but Spike smacked his hand away and leaned in close, lying heavily on top of him. He felt Spike's voice close to his ear. "Want to claim you, Xander. Make you mine." He kissed Xander's neck. "Need to bite you though."
Xander turned his head in the direction of Spike's voice and opened his eyes, a flicker of doubt appearing on his face.
"It won't hurt any more than the other bite, promise. Just want to mark you." Spike's eyes burned bright with possessiveness and caring. "You're mine, I want to see it on you, luv."
"All right," Xander breathed, incapable of saying anything more. He closed his eyes again and tilted his head away from Spike, exposing his throat to the vampire. Spike almost came at the sight of Xander lying like that beneath him, his throat bared willingly. ((Soddin' hell. Lovely fuckin' child.))
Spike bent his head to Xander's neck. He continued to fuck Xander hard as he licked and sucked Xander's neck, his thrusts increasing in speed and force. The pressure of Spike's body against Xander's cock was bringing Xander to the edge of his own orgasm. Spike let himself shift into game face and dragged his fangs slowly across Xander's throat and down to his chest.
((Mine.))
"What - " Xander tried desperately to form words for his question. "Why?"
Spike pricked Xander's chest lightly with his fangs, just above the heart. "S'where you do it, pet. Right here."
Xander nodded and relaxed, trusting Spike. He pulled his legs even closer to his chest, wanting Spike deeper.
Spike began thrusting into and against Xander frantically, wanting to cum, wanting to bite, wanting to bind the man underneath him tightly to himself. He supported himself with one hand as he used the other to pump Xander's hard cock.
((Mine.))
Spike felt Xander stiffen as he began to orgasm and he sank his fangs into Xander's chest right away. Spike felt his own orgasm crash through him as the taste of Xander's blood filled his mouth, hot and rich and full of passion. He drank, neither deeply nor much, growling as he finally claimed what was his. Spike pulled his fangs out of Xander and licked the bloody mark once. No more. He wanted it to scar. He pulled back and looked at the mark, satisfied.
"Mine."
(('Bout bloody time, too.))
Xander smiled softly at that, running his fingers through the messy curls on Spike's head. "Yours?" he asked, his voice still rough.
"Mine," Spike growled playfully. He pulled out of Xander's body, shook off his game face, and slid up to place a kiss on the full lips. "Don't forget it, boy."
"Again with the boy. You have control issues, Spike," Xander teased.
"Probably. We can work 'em out later. Should be fun." Spike winked at Xander as he got up and left the room in search of a washcloth and towel. Entering the living room, he noticed that the sliding-glass door was still open. "Hope the neighbours enjoyed themselves," he smirked, and pulled the door shut against the night. He pulled the curtains closed too, just in case he and Xander didn't make it out of bed again until morning. Grabbing a clean washcloth and towel from the basket in the corner, he went into the bathroom and ran warm water over the cloth. After cleaning himself up, he rinsed the washcloth with warm water and carried it and the towel into the bedroom to wash Xander.
He paused in the doorway, drinking in the sight of the man still sprawled bonelessly on the bed. ((Mine.))
As if he heard Spike's thoughts, Xander lifted his head and looked at Spike, grinning crookedly. "Stop staring, Blondie. I'm yours. Blah blah blah..." Xander chuckled tiredly when the wet washcloth hit him in the face.
Spike sat down next to the still-laughing Xander, took the washcloth, and began cleaning him gently. Then Spike quickly rubbed him dry with the towel. Tossing the towel and the washcloth onto the pile of dirty and torn - Spike smiled at the memory of ripping Xander's shirt off - clothes, Spike threw the pillows that had been under Xander's hips onto the floor and scooted up to lay on the clean ones still at the head of the bed. Pulling both Xander and the blankets to him in one swift move, Spike wrapped his arms around Xander and pulled the brown head to his chest, running his fingers quietly through Xander's hair as the two men drifted off to sleep.
Xander snuggled into Spike's arms, thinking he'd have never believed this only 24 hours ago. ((So not about to complain, though.))
Just as Spike was about to doze off, he heard Xander's voice. "Spike?" the brunet said sleepily.
"Go to sleep, Xander. Whatever it is can wait a bit," Spike said, aware he was fighting a losing battle. 'Shut up' were not two words Xander Harris understood, he knew.
"One question?" Xander asked, licking Spike's nipple.
Spike laughed softly. "Fine. One."
"Why did you agree not to turn me? I didn't think you would." Xander said. He hugged Spike briefly with the arm he had thrown across the blond man's chest. "Not that I'm complaining, of course. Just wondering."
Still carding Xander's hair with his fingers, Spike thought seriously for a moment before answering. "Short and simple answer? Remember what I said earlier - I like you. Like your laugh, your heart, and your daft sense of humour. I've got no way of knowin' how much of that you'd keep after you were turned. Even with a soul." He snorted. "Look at Peaches. No sense of humour at all."
"But -" Xander began.
Spike cut him off. "Thought you said just one?"
"I lied?"
Spike kissed Xander's forehead. "Right answer. Go on then."
Xander snorted softly. "Last night - you...you said you wanted to turn me. Wanted to teach me to - what was that?" Xander frowned, concentrating, "Oh yeah - 'take what I want and destroy what I don't'." He looked up at Spike's face. "That doesn't sound like you were planning to have me cursed with a soul. Why'd you change your mind - about the turning and the soul?"
Spike rolled his eyes. "So much for short answers. Simple I still got, though." He shrugged. "Like you said - I changed m'mind."
"You changed your mind." Xander repeated doubtfully. "That's it?"
"Yep. See? Simple. 'Sides - I only promised 'for now'." Spike shook Xander gently. "Shut up and go to sleep or I'll change my mind again."
Laughing quietly, Xander snuggled into Spike's arms and relaxed against him. "Yes, boss."
"Much better." Spike said, and grinned when Xander's only response was a sleepy snort. He rolled himself and Xander onto their sides, pulled Xander's back tight against his chest, and promptly fell asleep.